Though she wanted to stay inside, not have to deal with being around the villagers and the iron golem, she also knew she didn’t want to listen to the villagers being slaughtered around her. Cleo didn’t have much in the way of gear though, so regretfully, she knew she was going to have to steal.

With the golem out of the way, she burst from her stolen home and ran towards the armorers. Though it took a few swings, she was able to break down the door to the frightened villager inside. “I don’t care if it’s gold or chain, just hand me some armor!”

At the sight of a zombie breaking in and demanding things, the villager decided it would be better to comply instead of die, so he handed Cleo a full set of iron armor. In a rush, she put it on, then left the house, putting the door back in a way that it would bolt properly. From there, she then ran to the toolsmith and fletcher’s houses to do the same: break in, demand gear, then help fix the door.

By the time she had enough equipment, the raid had nearly reached the town, just barely being held back by the golem who was on its last legs. She raced towards the thing that was the bane of her existence the past week and gave him some iron bars to heal with. Then, she swung her sword at the pillager that had just been attacking, finishing what the golem had started.

From there, Cleo worked on attacking the pillagers until the wave was complete, then getting up to the roof of her house for a better vantage point. When the next group of illagers appeared, Cleo started with bowing them down from afar, grabbing their attention and pulling it away from the village and its residents.

When the ravager appeared over the horizon, Cleo changed her tactics, doing everything she could to lead it away from the village so it couldn’t tear the place apart. The iron golem was able to deal with the pillagers she left behind, but when she finally defeated the beast and returned, there was one illager left. Since it was focused on the golem, Cleo found it easy enough to run in and finish off the evoker, watching as the totem they wore as a medallion fell to the ground as their body turned to smoke.

Cleo waited with bated breath for another horn to sound, but instead the area was filled with the sounds of fireworks as the villagers left their houses. Her next action was to pull her shield out, prepared to be attacked by the golem, but it didn’t swing at her. Instead, the villagers crowded around her in praise, a few of them handing her gifts. She was handed an iron axe, some various wools, clay, leather, even a flower from one of the children. Then, the librarian approached her.

The villager held out their hand, asking to see the totem. Since Cleo was already dead, she didn’t really have need for it, so she handed it over. In trade, the villager fished around in their pockets, and instead of pulling out a book as a gift, they pulled out a clock, it being the best offer they had as a gift.

Not wanting to turn away the hospitality, Cleo took the clock with a thank you. The following days she was allowed to walk around the village freely, helping out where she could, mostly securing all the doors and helping the golem out at night. She was even able to convince a villager here or there to help fight the monsters with her, their only hang up before being the thought of being turned, now more brave from Cleo’s help.

But as the villagers got better, Cleo got worse. After the raid, she preferred to help out at sunset until sunrise, having gotten what was essentially another sunburn. She ended up crafting doors, spreading them around her now official house and tricking herself into breaking them down. Sometimes when she was out at night, she tried with the villager’s doors. Her excuse was testing their locks, making sure any villagers wouldn’t be taken by surprise, but Cleo could tell something wasn’t right with her.

And when the monsters became neutral to her, her worries just strengthened. The next morning, when the mobs were dealt with, she went to the fletchers to confirm all her suspicions. Instead of barging in, she politely knocked on their door, willing herself to not break it down. The fletcher opened the door, glad to see her when she knew they should be scared. She asked, begged for a health or regeneration arrow. Though they were hesitant, they asked her to return later that day for it, so she did.

In the late afternoon, as the sun was on its way down, Cleo took the specially crafted arrow. Not wanting to wait, she pricked herself with the arrow head right then and there. She took barely any damage from the slight prick of the weapon, but then the potion seeped into her. What should have been healing felt like poison running through her, causing her to fall to the ground. She was barely aware of the fletcher helping her up, other villagers coming to her side.

Cleo felt in horror as they picked her up, her hand falling off from the movement. She was carried back to her base and put in bed, the unlucky villager that took her hand placing it on her nearby crafting table. But right now she didn’t care. The villagers feared her before, but now, they were too comfortable around a zombie.

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Zedaph panted as he followed behind Tango as they trekked through the jungle. The place seemed to be endless, and if it weren’t for his coordinates saying otherwise, he would have thought they were going in circles. Unfortunately, it seemed they were pretty far out from spawn. Since they already had a number of issues with the world, Zedaph wouldn’t be surprised that they also had to deal with one of the rarer worlds with large biomes.

“Zed! You can’t just take your shirt off!” Tango said as the sheep hybrid stopped to do just that, needing some way to maybe cool off at least a little.

“But it’s so hot!” He complained. “It’s not like I’m taking off my pants. And I can always put it back on.” And then he threw it jokingly at Tango, making the shirt promptly catch on fire and all but turn to ash. “Um, or not. Oops.”

“Zedaph!” Tango complained, which just managed to make the shirt worse from his frustration fueling the flames.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” Zed apologized. “Uh, look on the bright side! I was thinking I needed a new look anyway and this is an excuse for that.” But as Zedaph talked, Tango stopped listening, instead looking down. It didn’t take long for Zed to notice, so he quickly scolded his friend. “Hey! You’re not allowed to complain about me taking off my shirt if you’re going to start eyeing me.”

“Wh- Zedaph!” Tango replied, eyes snapping back up to Zed’s face and some nearby foliage catching on fire. “No! I wasn’t doing- Just look down!”

Zedaph was a little confused, but he looked down. Even though he was no longer wearing a shirt, his chest was still covered by some wool. “Oh my god! Tango!” Tango looked worried, especially at Zedaph’s reaction, but then the sheep hybrid continued, his tone more clear. “I’ve always wanted to take the time to do this!”

“Wait, what?” Tango asked, now more confused.

“Well, you know how if I don’t cut my hair for too long, we have to use shears because it’s too wooly? Well that’s sort of like… everything for me ‘cause being a hybrid gives me hypertrichosis, and if I really wanted to deal with it, I could not shave for a month or two and just go full sheep!”

“Zed I understood like half of that, and only enough to know it’s been around a week and not a month or two so this is super worrying!”

But the sheep hybrid just brushed Tango off. “Well we’ve got more important things to worry about. Like finding Impulse and everyone else!” And Zedaph started to walk again, only to be stopped again by Tango.

“How can you be so calm about this?!” The blaze hybrid shouted, not caring about a nearby tree catching fire and Zedaph’s reaction to the surrounding temperature trying to rival that of the nether. “We’re stranded and lost with everyone else who knows where! Impulse is stuck drowning over and over again while you’re too focused on getting to him to worry about if you can even do anything while it’s obvious you’re changing more into a sheep! We’ve already got issues with respawning, what happens if you stop respawning altogether?!”

By the time Tango paused to take a breath, the surrounding terrain was all charred and there was the smell of burnt hair from Zedaph’s newly singed wool. A part of him was upset about having hurt the other hybrid, but the other part was glad, thinking he deserved it.

“Tango.” Zedaph spoke in a more serious but also calming tone. “It’s obvious I’m not the only one dealing with… this.” And he gestured to the wool. “I’ve already been eating wheat straight, and then you keep burning things up and are getting far too angry. Hostile even. I know this is worrying, but we’re both dealing with this right now and suck in one of the easiest biomes to go up in flames. We sort of just don’t want to get stuck in a death loop of fire. Well, you might be fine, but I won’t.”

Tango thought it over, then sighed, taking a few deep breaths to calm himself down. “Right. Sorry. I’m just… I’m worried about Impulse, yeah, but I’m worried about you too. And it felt like you didn’t care.”

“Oh, I definitely care.” Zed nodded. “I’m just caring about stuff that’s more important. Like is that a birch tree?”

Tango’s head whipped around in the direction Zedaph pointed, and sure enough, in the distance and hidden somewhat by the jungle’s foliage, was the white and black wood of a birch tree, it’s darker desaturated leaves standing out against the brightness of the biome the pair currently stood in.

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Ren had no clue where he was, only that he was in a taiga. After he had killed- After Etho had died, Ren gathered up all the dropped belongings and started travelling towards spawn. And then he reached the edge of a taiga close to night and set up a base, only to wake back up in the morning with a pack of wolves surrounding the place.

Being alone hadn’t felt the best, so suddenly having the company of wolves was a nice change of pace. Plus, with regen bugged, having some extra help would be appreciated. Not to mention that Ren had killed plenty of skeletons while travelling. So he tried taking a few wolves, only to find himself half an hour later with no bones, and no wolves tamed.

It really frustrated Ren. Sure, maybe he had kept a few of the bones for himself, but he had nearly a full stack when he started trying to tame the oth- the wolves, and none of them decided to listen. So, with all that time wasted, Ren frustratedly put away his items, getting what gear he would keep for the day, and started walking.

He had only travelled about a chunk or so when Ren realized that the wolves were following him. He double checked, seeing that none of them were truly tamed, no collars having appeared, but Ren wondered if that was just another odd feature of this world. If it was, he wasn’t complaining too much, especially since there were more wolves following than he even tried taming.

When night fell again, Ren didn’t really feel the need to bother setting up a base. He and the wolves easily took down any monster that appeared, only having slight issues with creepers. But Ren had killed so many skeletons, he had a decent bow and plenty of arrows, which made quick work of the exploding monsters. Then, once all the monsters were dealt with, Ren set up a new bed and tried to get to sleep, all the wolves joining him until they all just looked like a giant pile of fur.

When the sun rose again, Ren just started following the wolves around. At some point he dropped his communicator, but didn’t really notice, just happy to have another pack to hang with. And if they stayed in the taiga, he wasn’t all too disappointed. For all he knew, he was getting closer to spawn anyway, the wolves helping him along. And it did seem like the biomes were pretty large, so who knew how long it would be until some new scenery.

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Gem stopped brushing at the loess as she heard movement nearby. The already loosened block crumbled under her abrupt stop, along with whatever had been encased in it, but Gem was too focused on the noise to care. As she looked around, trying to hear anything else, she stomped her foot loudly a few times, letting whatever was know she had heard it.

Another noise let Gem pin down where it was coming from, and she set down her brush to move towards it, sword in hand. There was another sound, and this time Gem realized that it sounded like another person, so she threw most of her caution to the wind to see who it was.

As she finally reached the source of the sound, she was disappointed to not immediately see anyone nearby. Instead, she was just met by the pillar that had appeared near her spawn. She was about to sigh and chalk it up to her imagination from being lonely, when something new caught her eye.

Walking over to the pillar, Gem kept her eyes on what now sat on the ground in front of it, that being a dark red feather. It was unusual for three big reasons. The first was that those only really belonged to parrots, who hung out in jungles and not wherever she was now. Second, this wasn’t quite the right color for a parrot of any color. Then the last unusual thing was the fact that the feather was much too large to belong to a parrot.

Gem picked the feather up and was surprised how it seemed to turn a brighter red as she picked it up. It definitely was much closer to the color she was used to parrots having, so maybe it was just from the lighting. She put it back down to check, watching as while it did get darker again, her hand didn’t react the same way.

While she wanted to try and learn more, there was the snap of a branch nearby, and Gem quickly looked over in that direction, alert for whatever had caused it. A moment later, an arrow flew past her, causing Gem to run in the other direction, agile as a deer. As she ran, she dropped the feather, not noticing as it fell against the pillar, now a purple color instead of red.

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Doc had finally gotten rid of all the goats. For the most part, they were all just further down the island and not completely dead, but for him, that was enough for now. It had taken long enough that he was able to learn more about the thing that appeared at his spawn. Apparently goats weren’t the only thing that would be punished if they attacked the pillar as a skeleton shot it instead of Doc and seemed to be killed by an invisible enderman, or something that had similar particles.

With further testing, Doc was able to get other mobs to accidently attack the pillar and also have similar reactions, which really told him it was something he didn’t want to mess with himself. But in testing the pillar, Doc learned something new and also a bit worrying. In testing if he could actually keep a skeleton from being killed by whatever was killing it - a skeleton because they were the easiest to get to attack the pillar - it ended up shooting and killing him.

At first, Doc wasn’t too concerned about that. He wasn’t losing much, only a goat horn or two, plus he was just respawning the same place as always. But when Doc got rid of the skeleton and grabbed his horns and experience, Doc was surprised to find something new on the ground. A music disc.

Stunned, the creeper hybrid stared at the item. In the past he had been killed by skeletons and this hadn’t happened. But thinking it over, Doc realized how creepers had been ignoring him, and he had been hissing more often than normal. He thought the latter was just stress, but with the behavior of other creepers and now this, maybe something else was going on.

Before he could think about it more, Doc suddenly looked up as water started to pour from above. It wasn’t from rain, he was just a little too high for rain. Instead, it was a stream of water, like a waterfall. It landed right nearby his ledge, meaning it was something that he could reach and use for a way down. And then he watched as something floated down it.

The blue water was tainted with red, glittering as it swirled around in the current. Doc thought he barely heard a yell before suddenly something much larger fell. Recognizing it as a person, Doc quickly jumped after whoever it was, knowing that the water would keep the fall from killing them.

Doc reached the puddle left at the bottom of the fall and ran over to the person collapsed in the water, only to find it wasn’t really a person. Instead, what he was faced with was a very recognizable robot. Before he could try to shake them awake or say their name, he suddenly was hit from behind, and knocked unconscious.

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Jevin frowned as the walls shook again. It was very annoying. He just wanted to hang around with his axolotl friends and eat more glowberries. But whatever was making that noise didn’t seem to care. He tried to ignore it, but then the walls shook enough that some nearby gravel got disrupted and fell. For the most part, that wouldn’t be too bad, but part of the pond he was in was lined with gravel which apparently had nothing below it and also collapsed. For a moment Jevin was worried about sinking into the sinkhole that appeared, but he instead found he was very buoyant and didn’t have to really think about floating.

Looking down into the newly formed hole, Jevin was able to see something glowing, and his first thought was that it could have been one of the new glow squids. When his axolotl friends swam down to nibble at whatever it was, he thought that had to be the case, but then he watched as the form below hit them away.

While he knew the mobs were just playing dead, when Jevin saw their small bodies floating down, he worried about what had been his only friends for the past week and tried to swim down to them, only to find he couldn’t. It was like he was stuck in a bubble stream that was pushing him up and keeping him from reaching the mobs.

As he watched helplessly, the thing that looked like a glow squid slowly rose to the top of the pond, having swum up. As they finally surfaced, coughing a bit, Jevin didn’t give them a moment before attacking them. Whatever it was didn’t like that, and attacked back, slamming Jevin into a nearby wall. The initial hit hurt his health enough that hitting the wall was enough to take away the rest of his health, but surprisingly, Jevin didn’t feel like he had respawned. And Jevin didn’t feel like he had respawned.

A noise made Jevin look up again, and a noise made Jevin look up again. Standing in the pool was what looked like some sort of new mob and it seemed to be looking between Jevin and something to his right. And to him, it looked like the mob was looking between him and something to his left. With it not attacking back immediately, Jevin looked to his side to see whatever the mob was focused on, only to see one of the last things he expected. Himself.

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Noah watched Grian as he followed behind Pin who currently held seeds in his hand. The writer seemed to be playing some sort of keep away game, with the avian trying to get the seeds for himself. As Noah continued to watch, Goofball walked in, looking just a little flustered and trying to deal with a folder of loose papers that were trying to escape. “Sorry it took so long.”

“It’s fine, Pin kept him distracted.” Noah replied, making the other Watcher realize what was going on. “Yeah I don’t know either.”

“I mean, he’s not still in the experiment, so maybe that’s making his instincts get advanced too much?” Pin spoke up, finally dropping the seeds, which Grian launched himself at. “Did you manage to find Yus or Zem and tell them anything?”

Goofball shook his head. “No, they’re too busy dealing with the hub world fallout. You’d think it would be better than this after Evo.”

“Well, that was a while ago. And not as many people really watched it. I mean, we weren’t even official back then.”

Noah was about to speak up when he was suddenly dealing with a hefty amount of feathers as Grian plopped himself on the couch next to him, letting one wing smack the Watcher in his face. As Noah struggled with the feathered appendage, Pin and Goofball watched as Grian started summoning lots of hay bales, then started spreading them across the ground. “Oh void, is he turning this place into a nest again?”

“Yes.”

“We’re going to stop it before it gets as bad as last time, right?”

“Not if we can’t get help from Zem and Yus to send him back to the experiment.” Pin replied, but then he got corrected as suddenly the folder Goofball had come in with was taken from his hands.

Even more confused, Pixl slowly turned to his tv and turned it on, switching to the channel that showed their recap show. “I thought you didn’t like watching our own shows. It’s not even a regular recap, it’s just going to be a clip show from the livestream. Why are you so-” But he cut himself off. Showing on screen was a countdown to the season eight day one recap. “What? But it hasn’t started. We haven’t recorded anything.”

“I know! I was with a friend and they turned it on and said they didn’t think it had started yet. When I saw the countdown, I ran all the way over here.”

“Do you think they just had a scheduling mistake? We might need to call the broadcasters and have them fix things up.” Pixl suggested, and Zloy shrugged.

“Let’s just make sure that’s the case and see which episode they’re actually showing. For all we know they mixed things up and this is just the season seven, day one.”

“I hope that’s the case.”

The two recapers watched the timer go down. Elsewhere, people were also turned into the episode. Some were pleasantly surprised by the supposed new episode. Others were confused thinking the schedule was wrong. Those who knew the hermits were confused, not having heard the new season was starting yet.

Then finally, the timer reached zero, and a familiar jingle started. And then a voice that was definitely not Pixlriffs spoke the phrase “This week, on Hermitcraft.”

“Wait, what am I doing in the nether? I just joined the world.”

Zloy and Pixl looked at each other at something they had never heard Keralis say. This was a new episode, but one they hadn’t made.

“A new adventure starts in season eight, new places and mobs to explore and see. And also Grumbot and Jrumbot are Hermits now. Welcome to the Hermitcraft recap! The show where no one is where they should be. My name is Toon Noah.”

“I’m Mysterious Goofball, and our writer is Pin Valentine. Today, we’re looking at everyone’s first day on the new season of Hermitcraft.”

The first person, Noah, spoke up again. “In this season, the hermits managed to update all the way to the second half of the caves and cliffs update even though that isn’t possible.” He explained what was going on in this season. “Everyone is scattered across the map and even in other dimensions. Monsters are tough, regen is off, and using chat is out of the question, so surviving is going to be tough.”

“At the very least, they can still respawn, so certain people have chances to escape. Escape what that is? Well, let’s look at what the Hermits have been up to.” Goofball said, sounding so nonchalant about what they were about to talk about.

“Starting with Xisuma, who’s started out in the deep dark. The admin’s helmet has been disabled other than necessary functions. His visor also gives him a little bit of light, so he’s not completely blind. Plus the fact that sculks are bioluminescent. But the warden is too, which has been able to find him a number of times.”

“Also in the caves in Jevin,-” Goofball spoke up again. “-who’s found himself in some lush caves. He’s got glowberries for light and food and the axolotls are pretty friendly. Plus, with enough searching, he was able to find a bit of wood for simple tools.”

“Speaking of wood. Some of the hermits have found themselves in the jungle.” Noah quickly commented before some audio from one of the hermits played along with its clip.

“Helloooo? Anyone around? Impulse? Tango? Hey is that Grian? Nope, just a parrot. Ugh, and here I am without any seeds.”

Goofball spoke up again when the audio finished. “Both Zedaph and Tango are in the same jungle, but the size of the biome as well as the amount of foliage means they haven’t found each other yet. Tango at the very least has started mining, and Zedaph managed to find a jungle temple and has already started on using the redstone from there for a melon farm.”

“How do you even make a farm out of that?”

“It’s Zedaph, what do you expect?”

“Well, as for the last of team ZIT, Impulse had found himself in the middle of a sea temple.” Noah spoke, as the video showed Impulse dealing with being underwater in such a place. “Between drowning and guardians, he hasn’t gotten that far away from his spawn.”

“In other aquatic news-” Goofball said, another clip from the hermits playing.

“If I never see coral again, it’ll be too- wait, is that False? False!”

“-Stress and False are also nearby to each other, both spawning in coral reefs. False was the first to escape, needing to just swim out of her spawn.”

“On the other hand, Stress was completely encased in coral and had to slowly chip herself out of the colorful prison. But by the evening, Stress was able to get to the surface and join False and an island, chopping down trees. They even started a wheat farm. But here’s hoping they don’t have to deal with drowned.”

“While she isn’t a drowned,” Goofball continued from Noah’s comment. “Zombie Cleo started out in a village. Normally, that would be pretty good, but being a zombie…”

“Leave me alone! I’m not going ta kill any villagers! I’m a zombie but I’m not that kind of zombie!”

“She’s been having an issue with the resident iron golem. With a bit of luck, she managed to hole herself up in a house which the golem isn’t going to destroy, but the villagers aren’t the happiest about it.”

Then Noah took over speaking. “From villagers to illagers, Mumbo Jumbo found himself alone in a woodland mansion, making himself the furthest hermit in the overworld.”

“Come on. Almost. Almost!” The video showed Mumbo running before he was killed by a vindicator. “Oh come on!”

After that, Noah continued. “He’s tried and failed many times to try and get out of the mansion, but eventually just started breaking the walls for tools.”

“The illagers aren’t really happy about it, but not like he’ll be going far, so I don’t think he’ll easily lose those tools.”

“Well at least he’s got supplies.” The video transitioned to a mountain top with three figures standing at the peak. “Grian, as well as new hermits Grum and Jrum are currently stuck on the top of a mountain, surrounded by powder snow. It’s pretty lucky that the three of them stuck together.”

“I’m not so sure of that.” Goofball spoke up, sounding a bit frustrated or annoyed. “While Grian tried to fly down for supplies to little success, other than fall damage, he hasn’t managed to die, using some sort of magic.”

“But it looks like the fall damage came in handy for Doc, who’s further down the mountain. He’s having a bit of trouble surrounded by goats, plenty of them being the screaming variety.”

Goofball spoke again, no longer sounding as annoyed. “Yeah, but while hanging out with them, he heard a different kind of scream and did something pretty smart.”

“Wait, what was- is someone close by? It sounded like someone just- wait! The death messages!” He pulled out his communicator and read the messages. “Grian died to fall damage! Grian’s up there!”

“I guess he is the scientist of the group.” Noah spoke, the grin he had on his face audible in his voice. “It makes sense he would be the one to figure things out. But even then, he still can’t easily get down the mountain himself with all the goats messing him up. My guess is he’s really regretting being the goat father last season.”

“Doc isn’t the only one getting familiar with the new wildlife though. Hypno has found himself in a large flower forest that has plenty of mooblooms. He hasn’t been able to kill any of them yet, and there’s only flowers and no grass for him to get seeds from, so while the place seems like it should be easy to survive in, it’s really the opposite.”

“The best idea he’s had so far is following some bees to find their nest and hopefully a tree attached to it. If only he knew he was actually really close to spawn, being the closest to it.”

Goofball took control of the conversation again “Well, that’s not entirely true as three hermits managed to appear at spawn, those three being Joe Hills, VintageBeef, and Etho.” And the three hermits were shown in what looked much more normal than everything else that had been shown so far. “The three of them pretty quickly figured out something was wrong and started to make spawn a safe place, also gathering supplies so they can eventually find the other hermits.”

“Except Etho got a bit ahead of himself.” Noah cut in. “He had a bad run in with some mobs and ended up dying, finding out his respawn is a bit different than others. But at the very least, he managed to find Ren.”

“Ren spawned on a cliff of a ravine. There’s no water at the bottom, and all the blocks in reach are stone, so it’s not the easiest to escape from. Still, with little else to do, Ren started slowly chipping away at the stone to escape the ravine, only to fall when Etho surprised him by suddenly respawning there.”

“Okay, I got through two more pieces of stone. At this rate, I can probably get to dirt before the sun is setting so- Etho- ooooooh!”

“At the very least Ren is respawning just fine,” Noah explained “So the two of them were able to help Ren escape the ravine, so he’s the third person to escape his spawn area.”

“Well, that’s not entirely true.” Goofball started to correct. “Before Etho helped Ren and even before Stress escaped her coral prison, Cub actually escaped the mesa mineshaft he spawned in. It was a little tricky with the cave spiders spawning, but he lucked out with the loot of a chest and was able to get a crafting table and pickaxe out of it.” Cub had found some iron, torches, a few seeds, some bread, and then used the wood of the mineshaft to get him on his feet in terms of survival. “With a few respawns, he took out the spiders and their spawner. He’s able to move around freely, but not wanting to respawn again, his hearts are a bit low, so he’s staying near the mineshaft for shelter.”

“Then, sort of nearby the mesa of course, is the desert, where the last two overworld hermits are.” Noah said, and there was the slightest ruffle of papers, like he was checking a script. “Both XB and Iskall are stuck in the same large desert, trying to find some source of food, water and wood. So far, the best they’ve found are the sticks from dead bushes. Out of the two, XB is doing a bit better since he’s found a cave for some sort of shelter, but Iskall’s much worse off,the sand messing with his one eye.”

“Between the heat, the sand, and my eye, I can’t even tell what’s real anymore. That cactus could be a tree or a town or- nope! It’s actually a creeper!”

And then Noah continued with a transition. “Getting even hotter now, let’s look at the nether. There’s only two hermits there right now, with different struggles to deal with.”

“Keralis is the first and lucked out a bit, landing himself in a warped forest right near a basalt delta, meaning he’s got up to stone tools. Plus, since nether gold ore can be mined with wood tools or better, he’s also got some gold boots to help with any piglins.”

“On the other hand, Welsknight is in a much worse situation. He spawned in a crimson forest and is having plenty of trouble with the hoglins.” And that was emphasized by a clip of Wels being killed by one of the mobs. “He hasn’t gotten too much wood before dying, but at the very least, he secured his spawn just enough he has some room to breathe. And hey, if he makes it out of there, he’s got a fortress nearby. But now to end this off, let’s head to the end.”

“TinfoilChef, or TFC is on the main end island, spawning on an obsidian platform just a few blocks from the edge of the island.” Goofball spoke. “It’s close enough for him to jump, but he still takes fall damage and has to deal with the ender dragon after that.”

“Not to mention the endermen too, which Scar is also having trouble with. He’s stuck on a smallish end island out in the further reaches of the end. There’s an end city nearby, but he doesn’t really have the means to get there. At the very least he’s got food from the chorus plants, but that won’t help too terribly much.”

“And lastly, there’s BdoubleO, who we’ve- who’s been lucky to not die so far being in a special situation.” Though they hadn’t been saying much, both Pixlriffs and Zloy noticed the slight slip up Goofball gave. “He’s currently looping in the end void, teleporting up to the top when he finally gets too low. There’s nothing in sight for him to know that though, so he thinks he’s just falling deeper and deeper. But hopefully he’ll figure it out eventually.”

“Well, that’s everyone, so that pretty much does it for this episode of Ev- Hermitcraft Recap. I was Toon Noah-”

“And I was Mysterious Goofball and our writer was Pin Valentine. If you’d like to see original content made by us, you can find us if you already know where to look.”

“Don’t forget to give this show a good rating and tune in next week for the next episode of Hermitcraft Recap. Thank you all so much for watching and good-Bye~!”

Finally, the screen turned black, signalling the end of the episode. The whole time, Pixl and Zloy had just sat there in shock, watching the episode and not saying anything. The thought of their show being taken over by some new people was scary enough, but the situations the Hermits were now in was so much worse.

Zloy was the first to move, pulling his phone out of his pocket. He had felt it going off during the episode, but had been too stunned to do anything. Apparently, he had missed multiple calls and texts about what had happened with the episode, who had been put in charge, what was with the hermits, and more related to the whole situation.

“We need to see someone about this.” Pixlriffs said, in a similar situation with looking at his phone. “Make sure people know we have no connection to this and hopefully also see if the studio knows who recorded this. I would also like to say that this is all fake, but…”

“Yeah, that footage looked way too real. I think the Hermits are actually in a lot of trouble right now.”