#identity terms

▶ self-indulgent :3

！ SLEEPYMASC

！ SLEEPYMASC; a xenogender related to feeling sleepy and masculine!

⍂ this xenogender may feel sleepy, drowsy, or somewhat distant! same in regards to the masculine aspect; it may feel somewhat muted, or softer than "usual".

⍂ this xenogender may often be related to energy drinks, comfort, naps and/or sleeping, and overall generally being cozy.

！ sleepy-masc ; derived from the word "sleepy" and the term "masculine"

Hello, everyone! As you can see, it’s my very first post about coining some terms that are personal to me. I decided to make my own terms after realizing there was no proper terms to describe my personal experience with my complex relationship regarding my identity/personality. If they sound similar to others, just remember this was more done for personal reasons to better accurately describe my experience. Anyways, I’m currently in the process of making and finalizing some flag designs but if anyone wants to make flags in the meantime, feel free to do so. One last thing, these terms were made with the context of having an imaginative inner realm/world, so keep that in mind to help you better understand everything. I’m not afraid to be authentically myself, even if it means being perceived as cringe at my grown age. I’m going to continue to have harmless fun and stay whimsical.

Psychesona: A term for when you/your mind creates an inner/mental individual that embodies part of your personality. The use of the word “individual” is used loosely here as it is not an actual mental individual nor is it a separate personality. It is meant to emphasize that despite it being a sona/character/representation of part of one’s personality, it is still very important, personal, and “real” to the individual.

Innerealm/Innerworld: A term for the imaginative world in your mind where your psychesona’s exist in.

Note: I’m sure a term like this already exists, just putting this here as this is what I use. Paracosm doesn’t really fit for me, personally, as it’s not as detailed nor is there concrete details or rules of the “universe”.

Autovariant: A term for when your personality has different and distinct variations of itself. It can best be described as your personality having or shifting into different states, making you feel like an alternate version of yourself. You may feel different but at the core, you always feel like you despite the significant change.

Note: For further clarification, consider it to the equivalent of the phenomenon in fandoms where fans create AU’s of characters. Another example for even better clarification, would be the equivalent to Thomas Sanders “Sanders Sides”.

Note: For autovariants/ autovariant roles, feel free to use (blank) autovariant or (blank)variant. Example: Inner Child Autovariant OR Inner Child Variant. Using Sanders Sides, Roman would be a Creative Autovariant, for example.

Note: can be used alongside or separately of the term “psychesona”. You or your psychesona can have autovariants. Autovariant can even be a replacement for psychesona. However it works is up to you.

Term breakdown: Auto: Self + Variant: A different form of one subject/thing.

Spectronality: a term where one’s personality is or feel’s like a spectrum.

Term breakdown: (Prefix) Spectro: Spectrum + “Nality”: Personality

Border-Spectronality: A term where one’s personality is or feels like a spectrum due to their borderline personality disorder.

All these terms are inherently anti-radqueer, anti-transmed, anti-map, anti-zoo, anti-para, anti-transID.

The only term we can think of off the top of our head is horrorcosmium! A xenogender related to cosmic horror.

[image description: a horizontal seven stripe pride flag. Colours in descending order: bright pink, medium pink, pastel pink, light grey, mint green, medium green, bright green.]

New Community Term: Dia Aro

In the last twelve months or so, it’s become common to see folks scrambling for a term that conveys the meaning of “someone on the aromantic spectrum who doesn't solely describe their aromanticism as 'aromantic'". “Aro-spec” was for a time beginning to be used this way, in the sense of “I’m an aro-spec ace”. Now, I’m seeing an increasing number of posts where the community is deciding that “aro-spec” includes all aromantics.

On the one hand, some of us have a need for a word that includes aros like me--aros who additionally use terms that aren’t “aromantic” to describe our aromantic identities. On the other hand, the alternative "greyromantic" (in its use as an umbrella term) doesn't include everyone who feels that general aromantic spaces and terms are unable to encompass our needs because of the way we identify our aromantic identities and experiences.

When idemromanticism and my shape of nebularomanticism mean I am not greyromantic, but the general aromantic community's approach to content and representation leaves me feeling alienated from my own community and even the word "aromantic" because it assumes a relationship to and understanding of romance and romantic attraction I don't have, how do I find connection and support? Nebularo and idemro spaces are tiny!

Let's be real, here: "aromantic" is a broad term that encompasses us all. General aromantic community spaces, however, tend to focus on a few ways of being aromantic, particularly the kind that doesn't require additional identity terms to explain how we experience or navigate romance, romantic attraction and relationship behaviours.

I am not greyromantic, but when I am lumped together with end-case aros as though that interpretation depicts my aromanticism, all I feel is how different--and unwelcome--are my experiences with regards romance and attraction. I have more in common with the greyromantic community than I have with most end-case aromantics, despite not being one of you. I need a way, therefore, to connect with other aros who don't fit the standard end-case aromantic experience without misidentifying myself, a word that can’t be conflated with “aromantic” or “aro-spec”. A word not quite as wonderfully broad as "aromantic" or "aro-spec" but a little broader than "greyromantic". A word that lets other people identify us without leaving cupioros and idemros under the "end-case aro" label as though the reasons we claimed those identities don't matter enough to be worth distinguishing.

Definition

Dia aro: Someone on the aromantic spectrum who doesn’t solely, completely and in full identify their attraction and aromantic experiences with the word "aromantic". A collective term welcoming everyone under the greyro umbrella who experiences some, limited, indistinct, vague or shifting romantic attraction; idemromantics, cupioromantics and bellusromantics; nebularomantics and quoiromantics defying the pressure to identify or distinguish shapes of attraction; aroflux and abroromantic folks; and anyone else who doesn’t identify their aromanticism as only “aromantic” because we cross or disregard the romantic/non-romantic binary or have differing or distinct relationships to the concept of romantic attraction and/or romantic behaviours.

Dia aro is not meant to be separate from "aro", "aromantic" or "aro-spec"; it's simply another umbrella term to describe how some of us are aromantic.

Meaning

Dia is Greek for “through”. The word that inspired this is "diapason", a musical term coming from a Greek phrase translated in English to mean "the concord through all the notes". I feel this describes the purpose or benefit of uniting a diverse collection of aromantic-spectrum identities under one label.

It also needed to be easy to pronounce, type and spell, as the current phrase alternatives like "on the greyer areas of the aromantic spectrum" require more words to speak and type (far less accessible for disabled aros like me). It also needed to avoid confusion with “spectrum” and “aro-spec” and serve as a modifier for "aromantic": dia aros are aro.

(I am aware that “diamoric” is a non-binary community term, but I’ve never seen a non-binary aro refer to themselves as “dia aro” to mean “diamoric aro”.)

Under keep reading: using the term, flag symbolism, stripe meanings, a final note on inclusiveness.

！ BLOOD BAG

⍂ TW/CW// this term contains mentions of violence and violent tendencies ;; proceed with caution

⍂ term + flag under the cut!

PT; TW/CW/ this term contains mentions of violence and violent tendencies; proceed with caution | term + flag under the cut

I think there’s a good number of aros, actually, who are repulsed by romance being forced on their lives and experiences but have no repulsion when it is associated with others. I’d guess that it’s near as common as being more completely repulsed--it’s just that this is less understood by others and we’re working in the confines of a pretty new set of terms, making communicating degrees of things felt difficult. There’s so many experiences that we’re still struggling to build a language for and, traditionally, the broader LGBTQIA+ community has trouble with grey areas. Hell, I’d say the want for nice, binary you’re either this or that definitions is a problem long had with Western society generally, and we’re very good at assuming terminology operates on that binary.

I myself don’t find myself fitting in the repulsed/not-repulsed binary, to such an extent that I use “romance overloaded” or “romance alienated”. I’m not neutral in the sense that I don’t care. I am repulsed when I am forced into romantic situations or have them applied to me (which I think is a pretty fair response given that I wouldn’t and don’t consent to it). But while I can’t read very romantic romance novels, the conventional meaning of completely repulsed also doesn’t feel like it describes me. It’s more a case of being tired of its omnipresence than repulsion, but it isn’t exactly neutrality or indifference, either.

I do mark, at this point in my ramble, that I don’t have an answer. I personally think that “repulsed” can and should describe any degree of repulsion, and the world would be better off if we stopped assuming and started asking people what their needs are--as in, if someone says they’re repulsed, we ask them then about their individual access and comfort requirements. (Pretty much how we, ideally, treat disability.) However, in a world that’s going to assume, it may be useful for us to have a term for the experience you’ve described, especially when we’re navigating alloromantic folks.

Can folks offer up some good suggestions for our anon?

I was speaking largely in the context of that specific post, which didn’t label pride colours as specifically “bisexual” and “pansexual”, as far as I could see. While it is generally understood in allo LGBTQIA+ spaces that “bisexual” means “bisexual and/or biromantic” and sometimes “bisexual and/or biromantic and/or bialterous (etc)”, it is to varying degrees erasure (depending on the individual’s feelings and opinions about this) to force people who ID as -romantic or -alterous into seeking pride representation under the -sexual name. I know some ace folks prefer -sexual and some folks don’t care, but some people who don’t feel sexual attraction may find it entirely erasing to be labelled as “bisexual” (even if in the broader sense it is interpreted by most to have an unspoken “and biromantic”), and I should have acknowledged that. Same applies to aro-aces who feel alterous attraction and any other combination of attractions using the bi/pan/ply prefixes.

It’s why the use of bi/pan/ply in general conversations to also refer to folks who identify as -romantic or -alterous (etc) without specifically forcing them under “-sexual” is a good thing.

This said, in a post where pride art wasn’t labelled with -sexual terms (at least not on the screencap provided) and therefore represents more than just allosexual shades of those attraction orientations, to insist that asexual pride should represent alloromantic asexuality over aromantic asexuality when (at least for the more well-known/non-het orientations) alloromantic attraction was already included is, to me, a thousand shades of not good.