#hondobi

Cody: …bitch I just asked you to marry me???

Obi-Wan: Yeah, but see, Ohnaka said he’d lick my sweat off the sidewalk for the honor to taste me and this just isn’t the same standard as that.

Cody: You know what? Okay. I mean. That would get me too. He’s a smooth talker.

Obi-Wan: We can keep him around for the compliments?

send me a made-up fic title and i’ll tell you what i would write to go with it

I feel like the obvious option here is a Rexwalker fic but. Consider.

One of those AUs where Obi-Wan's early padawanship goes so completely pear-shaped that he ends up part of Hondo's crew at like. Thirteen.

This is what happens when you eat too much Halloween candy. I’ve come up with a little Ventress/Hondo/Obi Wan triad AU. Obi Wan works as a property manager of Tatooine managing some crappy condos that bounty hunters and assorted scumbags like to use as safe houses. Interestingly, both Hondo and Ventress (she’s alive in the AU- we’re gonna pretend that Dark Disciple didn’t do her so dirty) end up renting condos without realizing Obi Wan is the property manager until one exciting and dangerous night where they all have to work together and save each other.

These three are definitely Broken Things who bond over their experiences of loss, abandonment, and defeat in the Galactic War. Hondo is the chaotic ray of sunshine who keeps everyone smiling, Asajj brings home most of the credits and makes sure her men stay in fighting form, while Obi Wan fulfills his duty to a small farm boy.

Hondo: Oh yes, I know, but I prefer this way. Adds a bit of flavor to his rejections.

Obi-Wan: hmmm… dislike this conversation…

Hondo: Listen, since we saved you guys from Dooku’s apparently traumatized droids who took off, I figure it’s only nice to tell you all I have replacements for your hyperdrives on board.

Obi-Wan: Replacements that you definitely stole from that ship raid we had near our repair bays last month.

Hondo: I can neither confirm nor deny. Seriously sometimes my crew just comes back with the weirdest shit, they’re like Jawas when I set them on a new planet.

Anakin: I’m sure we can cope without your help.

Obi-Wan: Actually, we have about an engine and a half between us, so, we really can’t.

Anakin: *looks at floor, deep sigh* You’ll dock in /my/ ship, and will try your best not to wander. If I see you anywhere near my brother’s quarters, I’m cutting your reproductive organs off.