#highschool quotes

(During Covid)

Latin Teacher: "So you just fly to other states cause soccer’s illegal in Lousiana?"

-why?

Student 2: “But I thought that you said you like me?”

Student 1: “No, I tolerate you. That’s different.”

Friend of student 1: “She likes you!!!”

A few things you should know about me is that I go to a nEw sChOoL. *insert children cheering*

And I compiled a list of all the shit I’ve heard high schoolers say. Keep in mind, this is only three months of the year.

Here we go~

- As someone was shaking her crutches “Are you fucking my armpits?”

- “I’m overflowing with Satan’s semen”

- “If you masturbate but you’re dead inside is that necrophilia?”

- Kids will hide tiny, plastic babies at school and no one knows who does it. Someone put some of the baby arms on a girl’s desk “not again, I don’t want no more baby limbs on my desk”

- Again with the crutches “I dont wanna die from getting sliced open in the armpit”

- “Remember when I broke my anus on a chair? I also hit my vagina in the same go”

- Someone was telling me that the girl with crutches fell down “Someone said that their heart dropped down to their panties when they were helping her”

- I don’t remember the context “Ya know our lord and savior Jesus? I sucked his dick”

- “That apple was juicy as fuck. Just like people’s bootys”

My friends and I like to chill in the library during lunch, I read my friend’s text out loud “Libby’s Open...” my other friend misheard me“Libia’s open?”

- in response to a cullinary video “I like pounding the meat”

- as I was walking down the stairs and eavesdropping on people’s conversations “She’s straight up Satan in skinny jeans”

- while taking a test in class “This computer’s not working!” The teacher responded “No, I think it’s just you”

- This dude was being a pussy and not wanting to eat paper, my friend did it and the girl next to me said “She’s got more balls than you and she’s a girl”

- Another eavesdropping moment “What did you u call her again, Ariel?” “A chicken fucker”

- “I spilled the juices everywhere.” “Not the juices!” “Yeah the juices”

- This Crackhead male flute just came up to me and said “Criminal under fire, calls the police, hey I’m under fire”

- same guy, just two minutes later “FBI breaks into your house, calls FBI, there’s someone in my house”

- This girl walked into my sixth period and sat next to me and kept asking “hey can you smell anything?” All the guys around me and I just shook our heads no and she responds with “Yeah, it just smells like oxygen”

- percussionist explaining the sticks they use “oh, and I forgot the fish sticks”

- out of nowhere “Why does my mouth taste like Clorox wipes?”

- kid was making a joke in math “I think my cats a communist, he keeps talking about Mao”

- in response to a girl who was crying over an essay grade “It’s only Wednesday, you can’t cry until Thursday”

- “Im going to steal your kneecaps”

- talking to the substitute “I finished my work” “show me” she goes back and starts her work, he comes and finds her starting it “you lied to me” Later, she told me what happened and we were mocking him, she said “he was like ‘imma delete your kneecaps’” I said “he’s gonna steal your jew stash!” (She’s Jewish and let’s me joke about that) she starts laughing and says “he’s gonna delete my Jew stash”

- “I’m gonna get you a bejeweled dildo for you birthday”

- out of nowhere during lunch “Whats up my name’s Kyle, I’m fifteen and I like... Dick”