#heavy wings

The Longer, The Weaker è un viaggio introspettivo, un dialogo con se stessi e i propri demoni interiori. È spronarsi ad agire per far sì che tutto ciò che desideriamo diventi realtà, dimenticando i pregiudizi, la morale e il pensiero della gente. Il brano vuole essere un grido di libertà e ribellione, la denuncia di una generazione abbandonata. TLTW segna un punto di svolta nella maturità del…

“I think you're over analyzing this man.”

 Darren is a good guy. People would joke that we were secretly in love with each other in high school. He looks into your eyes with feeling, he’s a fan of reaffirming touches, and he, you know, actually cares about you.

 “It isn’t like you had a fight. Also, have you seen the news reports lately? It’s scaring the hell out of me.”

 I walk through the entrance to the locker room, wiping sweat from by temples. “I thought we came to the gym to take my mind off of things.”

It’s true. The news is unsettling. Or...was unsettling. There’s been reports of a sickness that's making people go crazy. They use foreign rhetoric like “brain wave abnormalities” and “exacerbated emotional response.” the president issued an official statement saying the U.S. is offering it’s help to the east asian countries where the occurrence is thickest. People here cared at first, just like they do with every potential threat to their gourmet coffee and their free speech. But despite the increasing amounts of incidents in Asia and Europe, North America doesn’t seem to give a damn anymore.

He continues, disregarding my statement. “I watched a video. Just came out yesterday. A wave of people battering themselves against a police blockade, all angry and crazy. One of them actually picked up a cinder block and sent it flying into an officer. And dude, the scariest part is, their eyes...they were all red as rubies.”

 “Probably fake.” I don’t want to talk about this anymore.

I don’t want to talk about anything.  I peel off my damp gym clothes and head to the showers. “Red eyes…how? Why? What sickness would cause its victims to be hyper-violent as well as shit ass creepy.” “Green eyes…” I turn the shower knob in slow motion, the warm water hits my skin. My focus shifts…

We are naked in a hot spring. It took us three days to reach the hidden alcove where pools of mineral rich water boil amongst jagged rock and snow. I told her she could come stay with me during thanksgiving break at my uncle’s cabin deep in the colorado rockies.  She hadn’t even told her parent’s where she was going. We stare at it like hungry wolves, our frost bitten hands and aching legs drool. It looks like heaven.

 “Do you...want to get in?” we don't have any swimwear. I’m nervous as hell. I’d probably be shaking even if the cold wasn’t seeping through my jacket.

Valencia and I met during that fruitless semester of college, back when I had a plan for success, back when I was going to be someone. I had kissed a couple girls, but nothing serious. Nothing like this. She was a whole new sensation. The slightest touch from any part of her sent waves of energy through my entire body. I kept telling her to take it slow, because everything was too much. Holding her hand was too much. Kissing her was too much. I thought I might die when we were making out in her parent’s basement and she reached behind me and squeezed my butt, lacquered manicure and all.

Before I can say anything else, she whispers in my ear, “do we have to take it slow this time?” 

“what?” I couldn’t hear her over the blistering wind.

 “I said do we….oh lord, just take your damn clothes off.” she unzips my jacket, then the layer after that, then the layer after that. The icy air bites my skin. I don’t notice. She rips one layer of clothing after another from my body: Slowly, methodically. I’m in my boxers and hiking boots. The cold means nothing. It’s her, only her, suspended in space. She’s holding my boxers. 

“When did she take those off?” I wonder. Ive fallen. She has pushed me. The knee deep snow envelopes me.

Holy shit. That’s when I notice the cold.

I scream into the clouds. She is laughing melodiously, and each intake of breathe and corresponding tone cuts through the wind like a hot lance. I am back on my feet. still screaming with abandon, I race to the nearest pool, chuck my hiking boots to the dogs, and cannonball in. I hear a second splash, and as I resurface, I am met with lips to mine; arms, legs, breasts, fingertips. Our lips part. I open my eyes. “.....did you put our clothes away?” I start to say, but she has disappeared….

“Jack!”

“Huh?” I bring my hands to my eyes to clear the water from them. They feel pruny against my face.

“It’s miracle you haven’t drowned yet. Been sitting there letting the water run over your head for five minutes.”

 I look up at darren, clothed and dry, ready to go.

“Look, I think you and V are meant to be together, and everyone has rough patches in their relationships. Once you see her again, talk it out. Find out what’s on her mind.”

“Okay.” the back of my head starts to hurt. It’s a pointed pain, right at the spot where my neck meets my skull.

 Darren walks across the shower room and puts his hand on my shoulder. “It’ll be okay man.”

“Darren.” “what?” “we’re naked.” “that’s true.” “what the hell.” “My bad.” “There are people here.”

 he takes a step back “I don’t know if it’s even possible, but have you gotten whiter?”

 I was always known for being pale, both at school and among my family. I turn my hands back and forth, and spread my long fingers. I examine my slim arms and legs. I run my fingers through my wet charcoal hair. It’s true. It looks like all the blood has been drained from my body. “Do I look sick?”

 he looks me up and down. “No….just white as fuck.” He chuckles. I chuckle. “I never lathered up.” “yeah you should probably do that. I’ll wait for you outside.”

Muse A is an angel, a guardian angel to be more specific. Muse A has been guarding the father of a family unit since his birth. They are the glue that holds the household together in the present, two other angels watching over wife and daughter. Muse A is thrown into a state of panic when they realize their charge is sinning, sinning horrifically, damaging their soul irrevocably. So they do the unthinkable...they do the thing no guardian should ever do...they kill their charge while they are still pure enough to gain entrance to paradise.