Aug 28, 2025
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So I'm apart of a system and like so there's physical health issues in the body.
God tell me why, OUR KNEES ARE BENDING IN ON THEMSELVES AT MIDNIGHT. PRAY TELL WHY ARE THEH IN SO MUCH PAIN
I know we're hypermobile in our joints but FUCK EVERYTHINGS FLARING
Legit thinking about either shaving my head or getting a pixie to see if it helps with my headaches. I've already figured out that putting any pressure on my hair, by styling it or putting it up, makes them worse. Scalp messages help. The thing is I really love my long hair, and don't actually think i'd look good with a shaved head or pixie cut. I hate how much i've had to change my life because of the chronic pain and this would be very difficult emotionally, and it may not even do anything. But I'm starting to get desperate. I think i'll try cutting it in half maybe, and see if it makes any difference since there will be less weight on my head.
this is weird to explain but i have physical and mental heath problems but they're all so mild it.. kinda means nothing and I feel guilty for even caring.
I think the only one I would say is actually bad is my possible OCD. That one I wanna get rid of.
But everything else is so mild I kinda don't care.
I self dio because I'm smart /j I don't like.. 100% with it.
I'm talking about my issues because i'm venting and idc if someone uses it against me. Because how tf are they gonna use my low blood pressure and probably pots against me?
Blood test results came back yesterday and the tumor markers don’t show anything but now the level of lipase is increased. Gastrologist said it could be like that during the cyst growth but I should not worry too much about it right now since the level is not so extremely high yet. They still want me to get the biopsy done because apparently, sometimes tumor markers come back fine but there might be some cancerous cells in the tissue. Cool. Honestly, this feels like a never ending story.
Also, they advised me to start some easily digestible/low-fat diet to help out my pancreas until then.
For now, going back to work on Monday. Nugget came to PL today for a long weekend so I’m meeting him tomorrow evening in his most favorite/my most hated city. We’re gonna stay there on Saturday and fly back to NL on Sunday.
Can’t wait to catch up with all the work drama.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I had my MRI scan done today.
The nurse asked me if I’m scared of the scan. You know, if you’re claustrophobic you really don’t want to be inside that tube. Not the most pleasant experience even for people without any phobias.
I said; no, I’m more scared of the result of the scan.
Honestly, I’m scared shitless. But at the same time, I want answers as soon as possible. Now I need to wait for the results until Tuesday - they will text me when everything’s ready.
So yeah, even more overthinking now.
I’m in such a bad place mentally after my appointment with my specialist on Tuesday and learning everything I did. It’s overwhelming and devastating and I have no one to talk too. I feel so alone and I’m so broken.
Last night my dad tried walking up the stairs carrying my rucksack, which fucked up his breathing, and today he's still making awful wet wheezing sounds. I'm very close to calling NHS 24, I'm really concerned.