#harrystylesxreader

Nothing that afternoon indicated the day would end that way.

Y/N was exhausted. Work had been a mess from the moment she walked in — three back-to-back meetings, an impatient boss, and a mistake that wasn’t even hers ending up on her shoulders. Her phone kept buzzing nonstop until she finally silenced everything. She didn’t even have time for a proper lunch: just ate two crackers in the car on her way to the hotel where Harry was waiting for a few days of rest.

But she didn’t want to show anything. She wanted to be strong. She wanted to be the girlfriend who went to the gym with him.

Harry noticed her exhaustion the second she walked into the room. Her eyes were dull, shoulders low. But when he asked if she wanted to work out, she forced a smile.

— It’ll do me good, love. I want to sweat all of this out.

And he believed her. Because she knew how to lie with her eyes when she wanted to seem strong.

In the hotel gym, the atmosphere was nearly silent. An older man was on the treadmill in the back, and another guy — too tanned, too muscular, wearing a tight tank top — was using the corner with the weights. Harry, focused on his functional workout and listening to his playlist, kept an eye on her. Always.

Y/N tried to focus on her movements, but her body wasn’t responding like before. The stressful day was taking its quiet toll — and she tried to hide it. Between sets, she stopped near the mirror, adjusting her sports bra with a sigh. That’s when she felt the presence beside her. A man — overly muscular, overly tanned, with the kind of confidence that comes off the wrong way — appeared with a crooked smile.

— Hey, tough workout, huh? I could give you a few tips if you want... I noticed you’re using the wrong weight.

She glanced at him, trying to stay polite.

— I’m good, thanks. I’m with my boyfriend.

The guy gave a half-smile, like he didn’t take her seriously.

— You sure? A lot of people don’t even realize they’re training wrong. And no offense… but you look more like a model than an athlete.

She was visibly uncomfortable. She didn’t even have to answer. Harry was already walking over, dropping his dumbbells with a soft thud, eyes locked on the two of them.

— Is there a problem here?

— Just chatting, man. Relax. It’s a public gym.

— Public, yeah. But if she said she’s good, then you should respect that.

— And next time you wanna “give tips,” maybe learn how to recognize when someone’s not interested.

— Are you always like this? Jumping in like you own her?

— I don’t own anyone. But I’m her boyfriend. And I don’t like it when someone makes her feel uncomfortable.

— You were pushing. And she clearly said no.

The guy laughed nervously.

— Alright, champ. No need to be so sensitive. She’s hot — can’t help turning heads, right?

Harry let out a dry laugh, but his eyes were sharp.

— Yeah, she’s insanely gorgeous. But the only attention that matters to her… she already has. Mine.

A heavy silence settled between them. The guy shrugged, mumbled something, and walked off.

Harry only turned to her once the man was out of sight. His expression softened instantly.

— Are you okay, love? Did he touch you?

— No, he didn’t go that far. Just irritated me. — She tried to play it off, but the tension was still in her shoulders.

Harry gently wrapped his arm around her waist.

— If at any moment you want to leave, just say the word. Or if you want to keep training, I’ll stay right by your side. Okay?

She nodded, resting her face on his shoulder.

— Thank you for that. Really.

He kissed the top of her head softly, keeping his hand resting on her back.

— I’ll always protect you, baby. Even when you think you can handle it on your own.

She gave him a weak smile and went back to training. So did he. But now, even more watchful.

As she did squats, he watched her through the mirror. As she pulled on cables, he silently counted her reps. He knew just by looking that something was off. The way her fingers trembled, the way she paused with a distant look, how she leaned on the machine like she was trying to hide her weakness.

Then, the moment she dropped the weights and held her stomach, staggering to the nearest wall, he dropped everything.

— Y/N! — He rushed over, heart pounding. — Love… look at me, sweetheart. What are you feeling?

She was panting, sweating, hands on her face.

— I... I feel nauseous... — she whispered.

He wrapped his arms around her in a firm, protective gesture.

— Let’s get you over there. Come with me. I got you. — He led her gently to a modern trash bin near the exit.

She knelt down. Her stomach revolted and she threw up. Harry stayed the entire time — kneeling behind her, carefully holding her hair, gently stroking the curve of her spine in soothing, steady movements.

— It’s gonna pass soon, baby... breathe, breathe, my love. I’m right here. — His voice was low, but full of pain at seeing her like that.

When she finished, he grabbed a towel and gently wiped her face. Then moved her hair away and cupped her cheek.

— Love… why didn’t you tell me you weren’t feeling okay? Huh? — he said softly but firmly.

— I just wanted... to do something nice with you. Not ruin the day.

He looked at her like his heart had been squeezed tight.

— You never ruin anything, sweetheart. Never.

— It just breaks me knowing you chose to suffer alone instead of letting me help.

He ran his fingers over her neck, then her shoulders, tenderly.

— Let me take care of you now, okay? Let’s go upstairs. Take a hot shower, eat something light, lie down together. Just us.

— Today you deserve comfort. And tomorrow too. And whenever you need it.

She rested her head on his chest, and he held her close, swaying gently like he was cradling the whole world.

They went up together. In the room, he prepared a warm bath for her, and while she was in the shower, he made toast with honey and chamomile tea. He placed everything on the corner table with a little note scribbled in his big handwriting:

“For my strongest girl in the world. Who now gets to be as weak as she wants.

With love, your Harry.”

When she came out of the shower, he was already lying in bed with his shirt laid out next to her pillow, waiting for her.

She laid down beside him, and Harry wrapped his arms around her like he was still trying to shield her from everything the day had thrown at her.

— Thank you for being this kind of love — she whispered.

He smiled, kissing her forehead, then her nose, then her lips — with such tenderness it felt like a promise.

— You’re my favorite kind of love, my beautiful princess.

And that night, between sighs and intertwined fingers, he stayed awake until he was sure her breathing was calm, steady, and safe.

They were tiny. Two of the boys were only 3 pounds and a couple ounces, and they were the biggest. 

I could feel this weight on my shoulders as I looked at all four incubators around me and I wanted to just crumple on the floor. 

Two days old, and I already couldn't do it. I couldn't magically make everything easier. 

Harry and I traded off incubators, spending time with each of the babies as nurses came and went before I got wheeled back to my room.

I sat crying in the hospital bed, abruptly trying to supress my sobs when the door opened and in walked Harry. 

His eyes immediately clocked my face, rushing over to soothe me.

"Baby." he said softly, "They're okay. They're healthy. They're going to get stronger. They're going to get off breathing assistance and feeding tubes and we will bring them home." He immediately reassured, almost like he had the same exact talk with himself, before with me. 

"Her entire hand is smaller than the pad of my thumb, Harry!" I cried. 

"She's going to grow." He reminded me, his hands cupping my face, wiping away the tears.

"She was smushed in there!" My body shook.

"She's okay, Y/N."

"You don't know that, Harry! You cannot tell me they're fine! They look like they're on the brink of death Harry! They're already fighting for their lives, and they just got here and I can't do anything to help! I can't fucking help them! I'm just fucking stuck here!" I yelled, my body physically shaking as my eyes burned. "Their bassinets don't even have their names on them! They're.. they're..." I broke down, my wail bouncing off the walls of the room. "They don't even have identities yet." I cried. 

"They have names, Y/N." Harry said softly.

"They don't know that!"

"They wouldn't even if they weren't in incubators."

I glared at him, wanting to punch him whilst also wishing he would hold me and make everything feel better.

"I have four nameless babies, stuck in a incubator with feeding and breathing tubes and heart monitors and heat lamps and I can't even hold them, Harry. I can't do skin to skin yet. I can't feed them. I can't change their diapers. It's been two days! Two days, Harry!" I exclaimed, watching Harry take a deep breath.

"You're not the only one, Y/N. You don't think I wish I could do those things too? I'm cherishing getting to see them at all, Y/N. I would also love to hold, and cuddle and feed my babies. You're not the only one, but I also know, they're our new, freshly born babies, and we will never get this exact moment with them ever again." 

"At least you can see them." I grouched, leaning back carefully in my hospital bed, thankful for the heavy medication they've given me for my cesarean wound. 

"If you're mad, and you need to take it out on me, just tell me that, but at least tell me you're not mad at me." Harry said softly, watching me.

"I'm not mad at you." I said slowly, Harry nodding. "I just.. everything that I dreamt about.. isn't playing out at all. I didn't get to push our baby out of my vagina, and you cut the cord and have the normalcy.. I just... even now, I still can't see my own children whenever I want and it's incredibly frustrating. Do you know how insane it is to be told you can only see your baby during visiting hours until they're a bit stronger? I can't camp out in there even if I wanted to, because I have to be watched and monitored and recover as well."

"I understand, but we will bring them home. To bring them home though, they need to be alive, and those breathing tubes, and feeding tubes, and heart rate monitors are doing just that. They're keeping all four of our babies alive, baby. It's going to be hard. We're both going to cry, and get mad, but they're two days old. We're all just trying to get through this, together. the doctors, the nurses, you, me, them... we'll look back on today, and remember how hard it is, whilst we're cuddling them on the couch or they're screaming our ears off in highchairs. Today, will not be forever. I understand, and hear your frustrations, I feel them as well... but at the end of the day baby, we have four alive babies. You had four babies cut out of you, Y/N. Just a year ago we didn't think you'd ever get pregnant, and here we are today, with four babies. Yes, things are hard right now.. but this is all we've ever wanted, and now we have it. Days are going to be hard, and situations might not look how you've dreamt them..." he paused, moving closer, wiping my tears and kissing my lips softly. "We're parents, Y/N. You and me. We have four babies, biologically at that. Soak in the good, and breathe through the bad. All those negative pregnancy tests, all those egg retrieval treatments and the semen counts and the abdominal shots... we have four beautiful babies. We did it." He kissed me again and I nodded slowly, apologizes falling from my lips as I hugged him.

"I love you." I told him, sniffling.

"I love you, Y/N Styles." 

I smiled up at him before asking for a tissue, Harry joked about me ruining the mood, passing it over before sitting in the chair next to me. 

"You need to rest, love. Our babies need a strong mumma as well."

* * * * 

ynstyles

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♡ liked by: annetwist, yourbff, yourmom and 226,347 others

ynstyles: People have asked me what it was like to be pregnant with quadruplets, and yes it was a blessing, but it also was hard. Besides the basic pregnancy experiences, and the high risk pregnancy, my belly got HUGE, which is wild to me considering just how small the kids are.. but imagine carrying like 3 watermelons on your stomach. That might be what this felt like. Then add the swelling, the nausea, everything. It was hard. It was incredibly difficult. People also never guess you're pregnant with multiple babies, and if they do, just twins, so you often hear "Wow, that's gonna be one big baby." Which is really hard to hear looking back on, because of just how hard premie babies struggle. Sorry Karen, it wasn't a really big baby. It was actually four babies, that are now basically on life support. I thought my whole pregnancy my belly was ruining my body. I couldn't get it out of my head how I'd look afterwards.. and honestly? it does cross my mind, but at the end of the day, this belly carried four babies. It's funny to look back on how heavy the belly felt, knowing the biggest baby was only 3 pounds and 5 ounces. I'd say the hardest part, is the comments from strangers when they see you. I'd be 15 weeks pregnant, and they'd be shocked my due date wasn't right around the corner. I gave birth prematurely, and my belly was a lot larger then, than it was when people made comments to me. Yes I knew I was having multiples, but peoples comments and or fascination with ones body still hits the same. Some people just have big bellies, and small babies. Just because one is pregnant, doesn't change the fact that it is still their body. That is their stomach you're commenting on. The way it looks, the marks on it, the way the belly button protrudes. Pregnant woman don't deserve less, just because there's a reason for it. It all can still hurt the same.  I've welcomed four beautiful babies with that belly, but that belly is still mine. 

*comments have been limited*

* * * *

Music had always been your passion. Like you were born with this innate spark, and performing was your conduit. 

In exchange for voice and piano lessons, you told your parents you’d try other things– crafts, soccer, martial arts, playing with other children even. 

You were ten when they accepted the inevitable. If you were sure about this, they would back you completely. They just wanted you to succeed, and it took them a decade to realize you had absolutely no intention of failure. 

Eventually, they began telling people you’d come into the world crying on key. You knew you’d come into the world determined.

From then on, you jumped at every opportunity to pour your heart out on stage. To be showered in applause, soaking in each clap and cheer aimed your way. Letting them fuel you. 

Piano recitals turned into voice and dance lessons, then school musicals and choir competitions, talent shows and local theater.

You figured college would be no different, sure, there was a larger competition pool. The productions were taken more seriously, your performances would be graded on quality, not just how hard you tried. There were higher expectations here. You weren’t a star on Bellington University’s campus, not yet anyway. 

It wasn’t a fact you feared, it was a challenge you accepted. Your chin high and shoulders back. Classes had barely begun but you were itching for a chance to perform. 

It was the final week of August when you saw it. The air was still warm, but not the stuffy kind of warmth that accompanied the middle of summer. You had just entered the Pembrooke Performing Arts Center, glass doors shutting behind you as you cursed yourself for scheduling a class on the second floor.

Like a beacon of some sort, fluorescent, lime green paper popped against the dark, aged cork of the bulletin board you’d passed by every other day for two weeks on your way to Music Theory 1100.

Competitive Show Choir Auditions September 5th: All are welcome. 2 rounds of auditions. Vocal and dance experience strongly recommended. Only 5 spots. 

It was nearly enough to make you religious. 

Ripping your favorite note-taking pen from its home in the side pocket of your bag, you quickly printed your name on the first free line. There were only ten names above yours and five days left until auditions. 

They were clearly expecting more names, with a second lime green sheet stapled behind the first. The Bellington Crescendos, as they called themselves, had gone to Nationals nearly every year in the past decade. This could get competitive. You didn’t have a good enough idea of what the talent was like on campus yet.

You weren’t particularly concerned, but it wouldn’t hurt to learn about your competition. At least that’s what you told yourself as you pulled your phone out to snap a picture of the sign up sheet.

—--

Six days later you sat in the front row of the auditorium, watching from an itchy, red polyester theater chair as the first name on the sign up sheet, Montgomery Prescott, stepped onto the stage. His steps reverberated through the stage floor as he hurried to center stage.

Your research into him didn’t yield much–just an online program from his high school’s production of Grease. You couldn’t find much else, but considering it opened less than a year ago, you would have to assume he was A.) also a freshman and B.) only good enough to be cast as Greaser #3 in his senior year. 

You weren’t judging, but you weren’t intimidated either.

“Tell us a bit about yourself.” A clear, sweet voice rang through the various speakers around the room. 

The voice belonged to Penny, a perky little blonde that seemed to be orchestrating the audition process if the last few minutes had been any indicator.

“We want to start by thanking you for coming to audition for the Bellington Crescendos! I’m Penny, a senior and the female lead. I wanted to let you all know how our audition process will work. We have just over twenty of you here, but there are only 5 spots– two of which will be alternate positions,” her smile was sickeningly sweet, almost disturbingly so. 

“Today we want to hear you sing a song of your choice, Wednesday we will post the list for which of you will be returning for dance auditions. If you make the cut, you’ll return Friday evening where you’ll be taught 16 counts of choreography which you will be expected to perform as a group on Saturday. Our final list will be posted on Monday morning.”

Her tone was still light, but it takes venom to know venom, and you had no doubt she could be a bitch if needed. Subtly cutthroat. You respected it, honestly. 

You quickly shot a glance to the other auditionees seated down the row you were on. A few of them looked paler than they had a couple minutes ago.

“We understand this is intense, but it’s nothing in comparison to the competitive collegiate show choir scene. We took second at Nationals last year, but we will take first this year. We just need to find the few of you who can help get us there. Decisions will be voted on by the team, and finalized by our lovely director, Wanda Gretz who is watching from the control booth. Are there any questions?” 

There was a beat or two of silence before Perky Penny plopped into her seat, smiling slyly once more at the first row before putting her lips to the microphone again and calling out Montgomery Prescott’s name. 

His audition was weak. He may have just been nervous, but his voice was much too shaky to even dream of dancing and singing at the same time, let alone for ten minutes straight. 

Everyone clapped politely as he stepped off stage, looking a little less like he might hurl on everyone. Next was Charlotte Quinn. From your research, one of your only competitors. She had been featured in her hometown’s paper a handful of times for stellar performances in her school’s various productions, and a couple of show programs from her local theater popped up too. Mainly supporting roles, but still big ones. There was a lead role or two, enough for you to acknowledge that the girl had to be talented. 

She walked up the steps and onto the stage like she’d done it a million times before, the only sign of nerves being the slight shake in hands as she ran them down the front of her skirt. She was pretty, seemed confident, and sang like she’d been at it for years. But her performance of Adele’s Someone Like You lacked the emotional depth you knew would really sell it.

She was good– great even, but you knew you were better.

You weren’t cocky, just sure. Sure of your abilities, of your skill, of your drive. You were talented, and you’d known it since you were young. But talent wasn’t enough, and you’d grown up knowing that too. 

That’s why you begged for voice lessons until your parents wanted to pull their hair out, why you jumped at any opportunity to be a better singer, a better performer.

You assuredness was a gift in and of itself. Because even though your research indicated there were about five other people here who had a chance of getting onto this team, you knew you would beat them all. 

It wasn’t just them you wanted to be better than– you didn’t want to just be on the team. You wanted to lead it, to stand in front of everyone and belt your little heart out all the way to Nationals. 

Maybe you were a little too hungry for it, but was there really such a thing?

Finally, your name was called. You took the same path up the steps as the ten people ahead of you. Your hands didn’t fidget, your breath didn’t catch when you looked into the audience and saw your ‘competition’ and behind them, the entire Bellington show choir. The heat of the stage lights felt more natural on your skin than the sun ever had. 

You looked directly at Penny, then to the rest of the Crescendos seated around her. Your eyes shot up to the control booth before scanning the auditionees. 

“My name is Y/n Y/l/n, I’m a freshman. I’ll be performing "The Wizard and I.””

A few eyebrows raised, but your chin rose a little higher knowing you had something to prove.

The song was your go-to when you wanted to showcase your range, emotional performance, and vocal stamina. It was about four minutes of straight dynamics and storytelling.

And your rendition of it? Perfect.

You end on the final beat, the music still thrumming in your veins, the adrenaline of performing still making your heart beat wildly. Like any stage you’d ever set foot on, it was yours now.

“Thank you,” you dipped your head in a slight bow, beginning to step off the stage as the applause began to thunder. Your eyes lifted to the audience as you slowly approached your seat, eyes slowly sweeping over the face of each Crescendo. They seemed impressed, or at least intrigued. Some looked threatened, perhaps–like their claps were reluctant, but your performance demanded their praise regardless. From all but one guy.

He was a stone face in a black t-shirt, tattoos poking out from under his sleeves. 

He sat almost completely still with his arms crossed, slouching in his own polyester seat like your performance wasn’t worthy of his applause. But his eyes had already found yours first, so you knew he couldn’t have been bored by you. There was a fire there, in his gaze. Disdain or ire, jealousy perhaps? 

You could tell he was trying to hide his interest like he wouldn’t dare give you the satisfaction of his curiosity.

It sent a rush of exhilaration through you. Cheers and applause were great, standing ovations were even better. But making someone angry over your abilities was thrilling, the absolute best. Delicious even. 

The corners of your lips lifted as you looked away from him, finally taking your seat as the applause began to die down.

He could be mad and aloof all he wanted, they’d be stupid to deny you a spot on their team. And how much pull could one grumpy, envious little shit have anyway?

⋆.✮ 𝄞 ✮.⋆⋆.✮ 𝄞 ✮.⋆⋆.✮ 𝄞 ✮.⋆⋆.✮ 𝄞 ✮.⋆⋆.✮ 𝄞 ✮.⋆⋆.✮ 𝄞

Harry and I had planned to do interviews after we announced their birth and that alone kept me up at night. How many pairs of spanks do I need to buy? Do I wear black? It hides you best.

"Alright love, look at you" Harry smiled, telling me to do a spin for him; chuckling when I carefully toddled on my feet in a circle. "Stunning! The most beautiful woman I've ever seen. I love you so much, gorgeous. The babies have the prettiest, sweetest, most caring mumma ever" Harry wrapped his arms around me as best as he could, ending in me huffing, trying to push him away before he hugged me from the side, kissing me.  "We'll always make it work" He mumbled against my lips, kissing me again.

A knock at the door pulled us away, a few nurses coming in with charts, an IV and a blood bag.

Great.

With a urine sample off to the lab, I was settled in the hospital bed before they started my blood draw and IV drip, going over a few chart questions until the anesthesiologist and obgyn surgeon came in with consent forms.

"How are you feeling?" She asked, already dressed in scrubs.

"Nervous" I admitted, my leg uncontrollably shaking.

"Well, although it is my first time getting out four babies, it isn't not my first c-section, or my first time with multiples. My team and I are as prepared as we can be; all hands on deck, I promise" She smiled and I just nodded, wishing her reassurance eased me more than it actually did.

Getting shaved by someone other than yourself was an awkward experience I thoroughly wished to forget by the time I looked back at this moment ten years time. 

"Look babe, our babies are going to be in these" he pointed at the hospital bassinets, a smile on my lips as I watched him fawn over  it, "We're going to need three more" he chuckled, looking around at all of the baby things. "What's this?" he pointed at a station with a lamp above it.

"I think it's too keep the babies warm, I don't know for sure though" I hummed, eyeing the clock, awaiting for our surgical time.

Twenty minutes passed, Harry gloating about how he got to pee, instantly regretting it when he saw my face before we got rolled into the operating room.

Harry was held back to put on scrubs and do his antibacterial scrub whilst I got monitors placed on me, a catheter inserted, yay me, and my stomach cleaned before Harry showed up at my side, a grin on his face, "Here we go baby" he said, looking adorable as I stared up at him; the room crowded in all sorts of different people; four different baby stations set up, ready to start clearing their airways, cleaning them off and keeping them warm.

"Please let everything go away" I softly prayed, my eyes falling shut as the nerves begun to take over.

Please let my four babies all be okay. All be perfect, and healthy. 

Please let them all have good breathing, and hearts, and movements. 

Please keep my babies safe.

"We're going to be okay, Y/N. We've got the best medical staff. All these people are here, ready to help" He eased and I nodded, calling out, "None of you better post this on TikTok", knowing we had everyone sign legal forms even worse than just patient confidentiality 

Chuckles were heard around the room, I just hoped they knew I was serious.

I don't want my birth story our there before I get to tell it. 

With the drape up and the anesthesia administrated, the surgery begun.

I stared at the hospital ceiling, my heart knowingly racing — I could hear the nurses talking about it; Harry's hand finding mine as he crouched down next to me, his mouth brushing against my ear.

"Hi baby" He murmured, "You're doing so well. You're the strongest woman I've ever met, and I'm so thankful to call you mine. I'm so grateful you're our babies mother. That you're the person I get to do this with. You're going to be the best mum ever. The babies are going to love you so much. I just know it. I love you so much, you're doing so so so good. It's going so well, hear them? Hear them talk about how well it's going? We're going to meet our babies, Y/N. They're going to be the most perfect little humans we've ever seen. Our families are going to be enthralled with them. My mom's already on her way" he chuckled, kissing my cheek, my brain focusing on his voice, and let of the talk around me. "Little did we know when we first met, that you'd be in an operating room waiting to meet four of our children at once. Can you imagine telling our younger selves that? When the doctor said you couldn't have kids, that you'd be meeting four of your flesh and blood in just a few minutes? Just one easy peasy lemon squeezy producer later? I hope they have your beautiful smile, and colorful personality. I can't wait to watch you mother the hell out of them" he laughs softly, his thumb stroking my knuckles, "Watch them grow up with us. their first breath, their first bath, their first night home, their first laugh. Their first food and first time crawling or walking. Our entire life is starting all over again once we leave this hospital, baby; and I'm so lucky I get to do it all with you" 

"First baby's out!" I heard, my breath hitching, Harry's smile brightening as a sob escaped my lips.

"We're parents, Y/N. It's official" He kissed me, my chest shaking as I cried with pride, joy and fear.

"It's a boy! Time, 7:16pm" We heard, followed by a rush of people talking, movement heard; Harry and I holding our breath's until we heard the cry, a collective sigh of relief was heard around the room.

"I love you so much" Harry confessed, my brain too fried to reply as it was panicking with fear and excitement.

We're parents.

We have a baby.

Harry and I have a son.

A soft voice was heard behind Harry, Harry straightening up, our son coming into view.

"Oh my god" I exhaled, Harry being handed the baby, his eyes glistening under the bright white lights before they fell down his cheeks as he stared down at him, carefully holding our son to show me. 

"Look at his cheeks" Harry exhaled, both of our breaths taken away by the sight of our son.

"Second baby's out! It's a boy! Time 7:21pm" Was heard again, my body on the ultimate adrenaline high.

"He looks just like your newborn baby photos, your mom is going to be thrilled" I cried, smiling at my sun, wishing I could hold him; but he was taken away right when we heard the second cry.

Another breath of relief was heard, the team of doctors and nurses doing their tasks before the second baby was brought over, followed by a third  "Baby's out! It's a boy! Time, 7:24pm"

Everything was happening so quickly, I felt like I couldn't fully process the fact that three of my babies are now in the world.

I have triplets.

"You're a dad" I stated, it finally hitting that our dreams were coming true as Harry held our second son, his tiny little body not processing yet.

They were so small.

Three high pitched screams were heard around the room, my eyes falling shut as the noises flooded my brain, each wail, beep, and murmur being etched into my memories. 

"They're cleaning up the babies and getting them under heat lamps" Harry informed me, apparently he could see around us; whereas I'm stuck seeing the ceiling. "One has a getting checked with a stethoscope" 

"Please let them all be okay" I repeated quietly, awaiting the arrival of our baby girl.

"I'm so proud of you Y/N" Harry repeated, his hand brushing away my tears, "You're incredible, love"

The longer it took to hear the arrival of my daughter, the more concerned I got. 

I hated this. Lying here. Helpless. Just waiting. I can't do anything. I'm numbed, trapped on this table.

I can't reposition, I can't push, I can't pull.

I just have to lay here and wait; it was agonizing.

"Baby girl is out, time 7:32pm" 

I held my brain waiting for her cry, my hands shaky, Harry grabbing my left hand and squeezing.

With the quiet cry being drowned out over the boys wails, I felt uneasy.

"Why is she so quiet?" I asked, wanting to scoop them all up and protect them from anything that could be causing them torment.

"The boys could be louder?" Harry said, worry evident in his tone.

Upon further exam, we were informed that she was having difficulty breathing and would be given oxygen, supposedly from being crushed by her brothers.

My heart cracked at the idea of her being squished so much that she was struggling to breath.

Harry didn't even get to hold her before they were all whisked away to the NICU and my stitched up stomach was eventually rolled to the post op room.

I was so tired, my body shaking, but all I wanted was my kids.

I didn't get to have them laid on my chest, or to see them the very second they were born. As silly as it sounds, I felt robbed.

I didn't get to have the dream labor and delivery; and I know it sounds silly and life is unpredictable; but there was no skin to skin. No cut the umbilical cord. No immediate bonding.

Everything was extremely different than I dreamed of. It was to be expected due to having quadruplets, but that didn't change the fact that it felt disappointing.

I wanted the best for them, and they're already hooked up to god knows what sitting alone in a room without me. 

I'm already useless to them.

I sat in the recovery room alone, shaky, tired and sobbing as Harry left to go see the babies in the NICU; my body still numb as I just laid there, tears strolling down my face.

Harry and I were parents, which was a dream come true within itself, and I was incredibly thankful to have my four kids, but laying here, alone.. it just felt dehumanizing.

I was their mother. I was supposed to care, and protect them, to love them. Yet I'm stuck here, alone, just waiting for whenever I'm allowed to see them.

My boobs hurt, aching to feed my babies, and I already knew they'd be on formula due to their being four of them.

I hated feeling defeated.

Like I was already failing and they were just born.

Harry gets to parade around the hospital seeing his children whilst I just lay here, alone, without them.

All I got was a glimpse of my sons before all four were taken away and I was abandoned in this room.

My eyes burned from crying and tiredness, the exhaustion eventually taking over and my body lulling into a sleep.

I woke up to Harry sitting next to me in fresh clothes, cheeks red as he stared down at his phone, his thumb scrolling from right to left.

I just stared for a moment, his head lifting, our eyes meeting.

He looked tired.

"Hi" I whispered, my body still feeling like dried cement.

"Hi" He replied just as softly, shifting closer on his chair, taking my hand and kissing my knuckles.

"How are they?" I questioned, chewing my lower lip as my body ached.

"They're small. I have pictures; I just.. want to warn you, they're um.. they're.."

"They're what, Harry?" I rushed, ready to hop out of this bed no matter how much it hurt, to go find my children.

"They're hooked up to all kinds of stuff. They're so tiny, Y/N. They've got monitors.. and breathing tubes..; their diapers barely fit" He was starting to get choked up as he looked away, swallowing the lump in his throat before sniffling.

"They were born ten weeks early, Harry" I quietly reminded him, knowing I was brave enough to do all kinds of research of what to expect, but Harry wasn't.

He wanted to live in naive land, and just be excepted about their birth.

Harry showed me all the photos and videos he took; Harry's finger bigger than their palm.

Each photo you could see his anchor tattoo, and I swear his hand was bigger than their body.

I broke my heart to see my babies suffering, both of us sat here crying over pictures and videos when asked when I could see them, Harry telling me we had to wait for a nurse to bring me in a wheelchair.

I just wanted to hold them, but I knew from my researching I needed to be prepared for that not to happen.

All I could do was hope that one day all of this hurt, and pain, and worry, would just be a blimp of a memory as I watched them all laugh and play together; snuggling each one into their cozy beds and sending them off to school the next morning.

I knew to take one day a time, one hour even; but if I didn't think about the future, and just stayed in the present, I'd go crazy.

I had to cling onto hope. It was the only way I'd survive however long they were in the NICU for.

* * * * 

Their birth - part one :)

Next parts and Harry + Y/N in the NICU + bringing them home, meeting family etc and then announcing them to the world! 

I'm ngl, I still don't have names.. so we gotta figure that out too lol.

Written on: October 9th and 10th 2023

Published on: October 10th 2023

Word Count: 2997

Do I want to know the sexes?

"How uh, how does that work? — With multiples, I mean" I asked, all new kinds of nerves creeping up on the back of my neck.

"Well, we'd be looking for a Y chromosome. Female DNA is an X chromosome, so if a Y shows up in the bloodwork, that tells us you're pregnant with a boy. If a Y doesn't show up, we'd make the assumption all the babies are female. Now, for multiples.. it would really only tell us that at least one of them are boys. We can look and see if we can find out through ultrasound but with there being so many, I have no promises of us learning today" He explained and I nodded slowly, chewing a hole into my lip as my hands were folded against my stomach.  

"Can I think about it?" I quietly asked, the nurse nodding.

We went through the routine questions before he left and an ultrasound technician came in, offering a happy smile.

"Mr. and Mrs. Styles. Happy to see you again" glanced between Harry and I before turning on the machine and grabbing the gel. "We're just going to be checking that everything is going smoothly. Pretty routine at this point" She stated, myself nodding as I braced for the cold liquid to touch my warm skin.

Once again, our eyes were locked on the screen that displayed each one of our baby's, one by one as the heartbeats played through the speakers.

"They're got some strong heartbeats" She smiled, pride smothering me.

"You're already raising such strong kids, my love. Knew you'd be a wonderful mother" Harry's warm lips pressed against my temple, offering another form of comfort to me.

"Baby A had ten toes" She announced, my head jerking away from Harry back to the screen, watching her count their little fingers. "Appears 10 fingers. Their hand is in a little fist" She giggled, my hand so desperately wanting to reach towards the screen and brush their delicate little fingers.

Staring at your baby and not being able to touch it felt like a cruel punishment.

"Do you want me to look for a gender and tell you?" She asked, turning the screen back towards her.

Do I?

I looked back over at Harry who always seemed to get lost in his own little world at these appointments.

"Do we want to know?" I asked, my hand wrapping around his forearm, gaining his attention.

Harry looked down at me, his eyes glistening under the low light, showing me they were full of tears as his soft smile made his dimply just barely pop.

I watched him swallow before speaking up, "Up to you, love"

I sighed.

Fuck it.

"Can uh, you just write them down if you can see, and we can decide later?"

The silence was excruciating. The second I saw her pick up a pen, my heart started racing.

Oh my god

I looked back at Harry, a tear rolling down his cheek, melting and breaking my heart all at the same time.

"Babe, why are you crying? I thought I was the hormonal one" I joked, the tips of my fingers brushing against his calloused fingertips. 

"I'm sorry-" he started, my words quickly interrupting him.

"You don't have to apologize for being emotional, baby"

"I know, I know" He sighed, "I'm just.. embarrassed, I guessed" he bashfully admitted, his hand wiping away the evidence of his hardened exterior cracking. "I can't help but feel these emotions overwhelm me" He started before going radio silent, igniting a wildfire of worry through my chest.

Was he regretting this? Did he not want four babies? I mean, who wants four babies at once..

"Can you let me into your head, please?" I asked softly, no longer focusing on the ultrasound tech, Harry nodding.

"I um, just looking at that screen.. seeing their little bodies on the screen and knowing they're inside of your stomach is just... getting to me I guess. I can't help but think about all those times we stayed at the negative pregnancy tests, and now here we are, with not just one, but four babies. I'm fucking terrified for the late night feeds and trying to potty train them all; but I'm so fucking excited too. I mean, you were told you couldn't have kids, Y/N. That shattered your entire world, and now... now we have four healthy babies. Four of them Y/N"

"Not to interrupt, but I know two of the genders. I couldn't see the other two. The positionings were awkward and one of their legs was squeezed shut. I have them on this piece of paper what baby C and D are" 

"You know?" Harry asked, the tech nodding. "Babe, someone on this earth knows what we're about to be parents to" Harry looked over at me, his face unreadable.

"If you want to know, you can. You just can't tell me" I chuckle, Harry's lips rolling in thought.

"Baby, you know I suck at keeping secrets!" He groaned, "I'm going to want to start buying things immediately"

"Well, I mean, we're having four babies. What's the chance of them all being girls or boys?" I noted, thinking we got a 50/50 shot of at least one of them being different sex from the other. "We could do a cute sex reveal?" I suggested, "Nothing big. Maybe like.. the balloons in a box in our house or like the cupcake ones? Then we could find out together" 

With the envelope and scans in hand (Including the gender reveal scans in the envelope) Harry and I left the Hospital, fingers intertwined and smiles on our face the entire drive home.

"I can't believe our future is sitting in the envelope and it's just sitting on the counter" Harry huffed, his eyes locked on it.

"Do you want to just look at it?" I asked, twisting off the cap of my water bottle. "We both suck at keeping secrets, so if we look at it, you know we're going to want to tell everyone" I reminded; Harry groaning, his head tossed back like a defiant child.

"I think I want to find out just with you, and then we can tell our family in a different way?" He said, his hand reaching for the envelope.

"So you're looking?"

"I— I don't know. Should I?"

"Well there is no going back"

"God, I hate this! What if these four are our last four, and we don't get to do a different route?"

"You mean to tell me you want a fifth kid?" I replied in disbelief, unsure if I even wanted a fifth kid after this. I mean, we literally climbed Mount Everest for the first one.

"I don't know, Y/N. I  don't want to decide to look at the envelope and then regret not doing the cupcake thing; or not having the ultrasound tech tell us. I just don't want to regret how I choose to find out since I have a choice"

"We could always wait to find out?" I reminded him, Harry immediately shaking his head, making me giggle. "What? Don't like that idea?"

"Baby, we can't name four babies if we don't know their sex"

"You just pick out four of each, babe" I laugh, moving towards him to rest my forearms against his shoulders, my fingers intertwined at the base of his neck, Harry's thighs opening so I could stand between his legs.

"Do you want to wait?" He asked softly, his hands resting on my ass.

"I want to do the cupcake thing, where you bite into it and it has pink or blue frosting" I chewed my lower lip, feeling Harry's hands move from my ass, to my hips, to my stomach before softly caressing my stomach through my shirt.

"Then let's find a bakery"

* * * * 

Harry and I stared at the white cupcakes with white frosting sitting in a white bakery box, Harry's phone set up to record the moment as I shook out my jitters.

"I don't know why I'm so fucking nervous. It's only two cupcakes!" I exhaled, Harry placing down to small plates, placing each cupcake down.

"I can't believe we're eating something that will tell us what two of them are" He snickered, my eyes rolling.

Ever since I dropped off the cupcake order, Harry's been very vocal about how dumb of an idea this was (Which made me cry quite a few times since I thought it was cute, and it didn't harm anything) - even though he was very on board originally but he put his opinion aside and let me thankfully have my moment.

"We just bite into it, right?" He asked and I nodded, peeling the wrapper off.

"The filling should be pink or blue" I hummed, licking my lips as the nerves ran rampant in my stomach. 

"Ready?" He asked.

"Are you?" I countered, Harry's dimples popping as he leaned over, his smile meeting my own as we kissed before he pulled away and replied, "Ready", my cheeks becoming pink and warm.

We both watched each other bite into the cupcake, making me laugh at how awkward this was.

I refused to look inside as I chewed, whereas Harry immediately held the cupcake up to his face, his eyes widening as he turned it around, still chewing.

It was blue.

We were having at least one boy.

My own eyes went wide as I swallowed, Harry motioning for me to flip my own cupcake around, but my head shook as my own eyes trailed to the colored frosting.

It was blue.

I apparently didn't flip my wrist fast enough after my face showed surprise because Harry grabbed my wrist and turned it for me, seeing the blue frosting for himself.

"Two boys!" He yelled, my smile widening as he set our cupcakes down and pulled me into a kiss. "Oh my god" He groaned, hugging me the best he could due to how large and in charge my stomach was. "We're having two boys, baby"

"Mhm. I hope they look just like you. Brown curly hair, green eyes, dimples and all. Pure perfection" I kissed him again, Harry's cheeks tinting pink as he dropped to his knees, lifting my shirt to kiss my stomach.

"Hi boys" His lips moved against my skin. 

I could feel his lips move against me, but I couldn't hear him before he placed soft kisses against my stretch marks, getting up off his knees and kissing me.

"Happy?" I teased, Harry wildly nodding.

"Two down, two to go"

* * * * 

"Let's hope they're not shy this time" Our tech chuckled, moving the wand against the gel on my stomach, Harry and I watching the ultrasound machine for the umpteenth time.

"You guys know the two genders, right?" He double checked, Harry and I nodded; Harry informing him we knew at least two of them were boys.

We went over if we wanted to know if he could see them, or have them written down again; surprisingly Harry said he wanted to know from the tech; making this entire situation even more anticipated.

"It's noted that baby B and C were said to be boys" he hummed, showing us the ultrasound of the two, their penis very evident on the screen; confirming they were indeed boys. "So we need baby A, and baby D" he hummed again, flipping the screen. "Let's see.. this is baby A, they're a wiggly little one. I'm sure that can be uncomfortable. They're on your lower right" He said and I immediately nodded. "Let's see, their little fist is still clenched" He chuckled. "We could always have you drink some cold water, it usually gets them moving. It will make you have to pee though" 

Two cups of cold water later, the wand was back to moving across my stomach, the three of us looking back at baby A who's tummy was moving up and down, legs still closed together.

"God damnit child!" I groaned, Harry and the tech snickering, "They're already being difficult!"

"Let's look at baby D" the screen flickered against for a better view of the baby on my left side. "This one's tucked in near your ribs" He winced, apparently knowledge on the fact that baby's against your ribs fucking suck. "Oh!" His voice peaked in pitch, "See here" He pointed at the screen where we could see between their legs due to the movement.

"Is that-" Harry paused, the tech nodding.

"Oh my god" my eyes prickled with tears, the perfect heartbeat filling our ears as happiness washed over me.

"Baby D is a boy!" The tech announced, writing it down on the paper.

"Three boys" Harry spoke in disbelief.

"Let's try looking back at baby A again" The tech noted, Harry and I waiting with baited breath.

Would the fourth be a boy? Were we having all boys? Do I want all boys? How am I going to raise boys? 

"Come on little one, your mum and dad want to know what you are" he murmured to himself, trying different angles, but due to how the baby was positioned, even with the movement, we could only see their leg.

Sadly we couldn't see what Baby A was, leaving us with yet another appointment of anticipated mystery.

Our third gender related appointment, Harry and I had our fingers crossed, as the tech checked again, already noting that everything seemed to be alright even though they were all quite small.

"This little one is definitely shy" The tech chuckled as Harry and I nervously waited, although we decided to not find out what baby A was, and to have it written down on the paper so we could have one surprise at our gender reveal party with the family, it was still anxiety inducing.

What if they never showed and we just had to wait till my c-section?

I knew it wasn't the end of the world to not know; but it sucks having your heart set on something, just for all of that to be taken away. As silly as it sounds, Harry and I couldn't help but have a plethora of pillow talks about our kids, and what if we thought the fourth one would also be a boy.

It made my pregnancy dreams pick up as I imagined having these babies, except the fourth one just kept switching out from boy to girl every time I looked at them.

"Oh? I think we have a chance!" The tech exclaimed, my heart rate picking up as I desperately wished to turn the screen towards us; watching the techs head tilt, Harry's hand squeezed mine as he whispered, "This is it" in my ear, softly pecking my cheek afterwards.

"Oh my god, you know!" I accused, watching him pick up the pen with a small smile on his face.

"I do"

"Oh my god, tell me!" I joked, before quickly adding, "I'm joking! Don't actually!"

"I still can't believe we're having quadruplets" Harry laughed, taking the sealed envelope.

"I can't believe I'm working on a case of quadruplets!" The tech chuckled, wiping the gel off my stomach.

"This entire thing has been a daydream and a nightmare all wrapped in one messy package" I sighed, Harry helping me up so I could pull my shirt down.

"They appear healthy though, which is the best part of my job" The tech offered us a small smile, shuffling some of the paperwork on the counter before scooping up a clipboard.

The second we got home, Harry and I grabbed a few snacks before sitting down on our couch and immediately starting to plan this party.

"How are we going to buy balloons if we don't know the gender?" Harry asked, my pointer finger hitting the down key as I scrolled through different Pinterest Ideas.

"I'm more so wondering how original we want to be" 

"You said you wanted to do Balloons in a box in our living room" Harry's eyebrows raised in suspicion.

"But is it stupid?" I worried, Harry's eyes rolling.

"Babe, gender reveals in general are stupid"

"No they aren't" I whined, pouting as I moved the laptop off of me and onto the coffee table, "They're special! We're telling our family and friends what we're having! It's fun and special"

"I understand that it is special. But extravagant things are a bit much, no? I told you this with the cupcakes"

"It was two cupcakes, Harry" I huffed, tired of coming back to this conversation. "Plus, you're literally the king of being extra! I don't understand what you're so hung up on"

"I'm not hung up on anything"

"Bullshit! You were all excited about this when we first found out, but the section I put everything into motion, you became Mr. Bah Humbug!"

"I'm not being Bah Humbug, I'm just thinking.. this is a lot, babe. You're six months pregnant, love. I don't think we need to be doing some huge party; let alone planning it. You're supposed to be resting and protecting yourself and our babies-"

"So what? Now I'm a bad mom?" I frowned, Harry's cheeks puffing as he blew our air.

"You know I didn't say that, babe. I just don't want you overdoing it, is all. Plus, how are we supposed to order and put these things together without knowing? Doesn't someone else typically do this?"

"I just want it to be special, Harry" I sighed, my eyes falling shut as I let my body give into the comfort of our couch.

"It will be, baby. I just think decorating and all that is something we don't need to do ourselves. There are professionals for a reason. Shouldn't we just hire someone? Then all that stress is on them, and I can keep you comfy and cozy in bed as you do the hardest job out of anyone" He smiled softly, his thumbs digging into the soles of my sock covered feet.

"What? Laying around?" I scoffed, Harry's smile widening as he shook his head, replying, "Growing our babies"

* * * * 

Our house was decorated to the gods.

Pastel pink and blue balloons were blown up and attached to all sorts of different signage around our downstairs. 

A "Girl or boy?" a banner was hung over our entry table where cute little guessing game activities were.

Different jars read, "All boys" "All girls" "Three girls, one boy" etc of the different variants; marbles ready to clatter into the mason jars.

A calendar with the month of our due date was shown, "Guess the due date" being listed with a jar under it where you can slip a piece of paper into it and finally, a place to leave baby name suggestions was sat next to a cute "Welcome to the Styles' gender reveal party! Please no social media posts, or stories! This is a private event!" With parenthesis underneath reading "Please don't share the genders of their babies on social media either"

In the kitchen we had an assortment of catered foods and bowls of snacks; the prized Cake sat in the middle that had a cake topper reading, "Boys or girls?" 

Harry's event planner got a four tiered cake ordered, each layer being frosted with blue or pink frosting so when you sliced into it, and took a piece out, the answer was in the frosting.

In our living room stood four taped shut boxes that  had the balloons in them, the final box being the one Harry and I didn't know.

Harry was wearing a pastel pink shirt with blue jeans and I was wearing a cute pastel pink and blue tie dye maxi dress.

On our dining room table the baby gifts were sat wrapped in perfected wrapping paper and bows, or puffy tissue paper peeking out of bags. Harry and I fought over the idea of being gifted things since we could very well afford everything but annoyingly Harry brought his mom into it, who explained that "It's just so special to shop for baby gifts. It's so fun to see something you bought them being used! Especially clothes and things"

Harry made sure I sat most of the time since my feet were pretty swollen, different people coming up to me and conversing before we played a few party games awaiting the real reason everyone was gathered here.

"Ready, love?" Harry asked, my head nodding as my hands grabbed his, the leverage of his pull helping me onto my feet, a few people chuckling before Harry kissed me, lacing our hands together before helping me waddle over to the boxes, taking a different seat right in front of the final two boxes on the left of Harry.

"Hello!" Harry's voice boomed over everyone else's, getting them to focus on him. "We just wanted to thank everyone for coming! Y/N and I can't wait to go on this journey together as you all know. In case anyone has forgotten, We are expecting quadruplets!" Harry and the crowd cheered, my eyes rolling as I replied, "How could I forget?" getting a few laughs. 

"You look stunning, babe" He reassured me, "Now Y/N and I do know what is inside of the first three boxes" he motioned towards them with his hand, "This is for you. The last one is a surprise to us all" 

"Get going already!" My mom shouted somewhere from within the crowd, all of us laughing as Harry nodding.

"Alright, better now than never" he chuckled nervously, crouching next to me to open the box. "Ready? Five.. Four.." he led, the crowd joining them before reaching zero, the box opening and the small blue balloons floated up to the ceiling.

The crowd cheered and whistled, a few cries of excitement and curses of "I thought it'd be all girls" were heard around the room.

The process repeated two more times, the anticipation growing as blue balloons laid at our feet, my hands shaking a little over the fourth box.

This was it.

We'd finally know.

"Come on baby boy! All boys! Let me be right!" My mom prayed in front of me, her fingers twisted into a promise hold.

"Open it!" The crowd cheered, Harry and I smiling at each other before I pried open the box, refusing to look until the balloons floated out, the crowd cheering in excitement as Harry pulled me into a hug; pink balloons above us.

It was a girl.

We were having a baby girl.

"I love you so much, Y/N" Harry told me, kissing me for a few moments before pulling away.

"I told you they wouldn't be all the same!" I laughed, his eyes rolling as he grabbed one of the pink balloons.

"I can't believe we're having a girl. I really thought they'd be all boys" he chuckled, "With the first three being boys, I had a pretty solidified thought that you'd be the princess of the family, but uh, I hope you don't mind being the queen" He teased, tossing me the pink balloon.

Everyone came up to congratulate us, my body feeling numb as I tried to process all the new information.

It felt fake. Like all of this was a lie.

If it wasn't for my big belly and constant medical check ups, I would've thought they were pulling my leg. 

Harry and I were really having quadruplets after our long infertility struggle. We were having three boys and a girl, and it all felt surreal. You couldn't wipe the smile off our faces even if you tried, but that didn't mean the worry didn't build up higher and higher each and every day the news started to set in. As fake as it felt, it also felt extremely real. We were going to be parents to quadruplets in just a few months and we didn't have anything picked out and ready.

Anne came up to us, full smile and hugs before exclaiming, "I can't believe I'm going to be a grandma! You guys are  definitely going to have your hands full but I'll be here whenever you need! I can't believe you're having a little girl! After all those blue balloons, I was certain I was going to need to stock up on everything boy" She laughed, Harry grinning down at his mother.

"Trust us, we're both in just as much disbelief as you" 

ynstyles

♡ liked by: annetwist, yourbff, harrystyles, and 27,940 others

tagged: harrystyles

ynstyles: Struggling to get out of bed!! #toopregnant 

view all 13,758 comments

harrystyles: You can stay in bed for as long as you want babe ↳ ynstyles: @/harrystyles I would, but my bladder says otherwise!

yourbff: I can't wait to touch your belly!!

↳ ynstyles: @/yourbff Okay that sounds weird lol

harryfan1: I can't wait till Harry becomes a dad! It's going to be so cute!! ↳ harryfan2: @/harryfan1 That is if they share it with us :/ ↳ harryfan3: @/harryfan2 Oh shit, true O_o

harryfan4: Does anyone know how far along she is?

harryfan5: Since when was she pregnant? 

harryfan6: I need Harry cuddles :(

harryfan7: I can't believe she's having his kid 🙄This divorce is gonna get messy!! 😬 ↳ harryfan8: @/harryfan7 Divorce? :(

* * * * 

I have no baby names picked out help

September 13th, 16th, 17th 2023

Published on: September 17th 2023

Word Count: 4417

“Okay, babe, we can do this. Right, left, spin. Are you ready to try?” Your voice was brimming with encouragement as you spoke to your fianceé, trying your damnedest to coax him out of his shell.

“I’m trying, lovie, I have two left feet.” Harry practically whined, dropping his hands from yours down to his sides like a child. You chuckled lightly to yourself at his protest, then pulled his hand back into yours. 

“You don’t, you’re just new at this. We’re learning together, C’mon, let’s try.” You counted off, then leapt into the dance steps, pulling Harry along with you. The piece was a short excerpt of a dramatic waltz. It was a particularly complicated portion routine, where your feet and Harry’s had to crossover in time with the music. The section was quick but required precision, and it ended with a flourishing turn in which your A-line reception gown would flow out towards your audience. Harry danced with a focused and determined expression on his lovely features, his eyebrows furrowing with attention. 

For the first time, you finish the section with complete success, and Harry spins you out over his knee. As you soon as you finished turning, you squealed and jumped into Harry’s arms, placing a firm kiss on his lips. “We did it! I told you we’d do it!”

Harry laughed at your excitement picking you up and planting another kiss. “It was great, darling.”

Once your husband-to-be lowered your feet back to the ground, you clapped your hands and began to speak. “Okay! So we did it, we got it, we can do it. It’s gonna be great. I think we should probably take a break and go enjoy the night with our friends. You ready to go?”

Harry’s eyes widened with a small inhale. “I-erm, well- I don’t know.” His cheeks went lightly pink with the statement. “Can we run it a few more times? I’m not ready yet, I don’t think.”

You smiled fondly at the love of your life. It meant so much to you that it means so much to him. “Of course. Try it with the music?”

After another hour of running and re-running the number, you finally decided to call it a night. “It’s great, Har. It looks really good. We’ve done it a million times not with no mistakes, it will be perfect.”

Harry looked at you with concern behind those green eyes you loved so much. “Are you sure we can’t practice with the choreographer one more time?”

You laughed, pulling your man close to you. His hands found their place on your hips naturally, your energies magnetic for each other. “The wedding is tomorrow, Harry. We don’t have any more time.”

Harry groaned and buried his head in your shoulder, feigning drastic disappointment. You laughed again, your hands finding his curls and twirling them between your fingers. After a moment, he looked up at you and wrapped his arms fully around you, pulling you closer into him. “I’m sorry for bein’ so nervous. I just want my first dance with my new, wonderful, beautiful wife to be perfect. I know it’s important to you. I want to make you proud and show you off right.”

As you gazed into his eyes, pouring adoration into them, you realized you may not be able to last one more night before this man was your husband. You placed your hand on his cheek, stroking your thumb over his cheekbones. “I love you so much. I cannot fucking wait to marry you. 

“I love you more than anything.” Harry replies, pulling you into the largest, tightest embrace. After a moment of holding you, he pulls back and plants a kiss on your forehead. “I’d better go. The boys are waiting for me at the bar, and we aren’t in the same room tonight, of course.”

You smile at him. “Go find your friends. Enjoy your final night of freedom.”

Harry leans down and kisses you. “You are my freedom.”

With that, he turns and leaves the ballroom, leaving you alone, smiling after him like a schoolgirl with a crush. 

You smiled, casting a glance over at your energetic three year old, feeling completely grateful for the moment you were currently experiencing. "It is big, and there are a lot more stars up there."

As the three of you laid there, talking softly amongst yourself, pointing out different constellations that you were getting educated on due to Harry, you felt a sense of peace and contentment. The stars were stretched about in the sky above you, reminding you of the universe and the beautiful life you lived.

Harry, your husband was the one who first taught you about the stars.

He had taken you to an observatory on your six month anniversary.

"Did you know that stars are actually just giant balls of gas?" He told you, hand holding onto yours. "And that they're so far away that it takes light years for them to actually reach us."

You shook your head, amazed by what you were learning, and as Harry continued to talk, you could feel yourself slowly growing more and excited.

The next few hours, he continued to teach you everything that he knew about stars, he showed you how to find the north star, and explained the different phases of the moon to you and as he talked, you felt like you were seeing the night sky for the first time.

As the night slowly wore on, you started to get cold, little goose pimples appearing on your arms from the night time weather. As you let out a tiny shiver, you felt your boyfriend pull the blanket tighter around you.

"Are you ready to head home?" Harry asked, peering down at you from where your head was resting on his shoulder.

You nodded, feeling extremely grateful for the experience you just had and all the fascinating things you just learned.

As you drifted off to sleep that night, you felt a sense of wonder seeping into your veins, a sense that you hadn't felt in a very long time.

Thanks to your amazing boyfriend, you had discovered a whole new world.

"Look, mommy!" Atlas's little voice broke you out of your trance, he was pointing at a shooting star, making you look at it as well. "Did you see that?"

"I certainly did," You answered him, matching his excitement. "Did you make a wish?"

Atlas nodded his head, his face instantly going serious. "I wished for a puppy."

You let out a small laugh at his words, you knew this moment shared between Harry, yourself and Atlas, was a moment you would treasure forever.

Atlas then proceeded to snuggle up against his father, his head resting against his chest, you wrapped your arms around them both, wanting the feeling of holding them close, surrounded by the sweet scented flowers around you and the slight rustling of the leaves in the humid air.

As Atlas continued to grow tired, he yawned and rubbed at his eyes with the back of his hand.

You and Harry shared a look, and the both of knew that it was time for him to start heading to bed if you didn't want a grouchy toddler tomorrow morning.

Although, it was bittersweet, you didn't want to interrupt the blissful moment you were all sharing.

"Daddy?" Atlas murmured, his voice soft.

"Yeah, Atty?" Harry replied in a voice equally as gentle as his son's.

"I'm sleepy." The three year old answered, his green eyes starting to droop.

You smiled down at him and leaned forward to press a kiss against your son's forehead. "It's okay little man, you can fall asleep right here with us."

Atlas snuggled up against you both, his head now resting against your shoulder, Harry's arms now wrapped around the two of you, they sat there in the garden, continuing to watch the stars continued to appear, and the moon rose high in the sky.

As Atlas drifted into a peaceful slumber, Harry and you shared another look once again, offering each other an adoring smile. You both knew that no matter what was to happen in the world, you would always have this moment, this love and this connection.

It made you think of the time you found out that Atlas was going to be a boy, it was one of the best experiences of your life.

You and Harry had eagerly been anticipating the gender reveal party that his sister had planned for weeks. All of your closest friends and family had been invited, Gemma had spent hours decorating the back garden with balloons and streamer with the help of his mother Anne.

As the party got into full swing, you couldn't help but feel just the tiniest bit nervous. You and Harry had already decided that you wanted to find out the gender of your baby, but knowing you were actually going to find out was filling you with an anxiety you never knew you could get.

Halfway through the party, Gemma had made sure that you and Harry were stood right in front of the guests, holding a large box full of either pink or blue balloons.

Harry turned to look at you, "Are you ready?"

"I'm ready."You answered him, slipping your fingers through his as your voice started shaking.

Harry, who was holding the box, took a deep breath and finally opened the box.

Blue balloons were all you saw, they were floating up into the sky and your guests erupted into gleeful cheers.

"It's a boy!" Harry cheered, pulling you into a tight embrace.

Tears of joy were streaming down your face as you continued to hug your one true love. "I can't believe were having a son!"

Atlas's thumb was hooked inside his mouth and his head was now positioned so it was resting on the shoulder of his father.

Atlas.

The name of your entire world.

His name was certainly a hard one to pick out.

You and Harry had been trying to pick out names for your unborn son all week; every name you both suggested, just didn't feel right, your eyes had skimmed through countless lists of baby names and baby books, but nothing seemed to feel like the perfect name.

You and Harry were sitting in the living room, surrounded by baby books, you couldn't help but feel a little bit discouraged, due to the fact that you couldn't find a name that was perfect.

You wanted to find a name that was unique, but nothing seemed to grab your nor your husbands attention.

"I don't know," You sighed, continuing to flip through the book resting on your baby bump. "None of these names feel right at all."

"I know what you mean," Harry nodded his head, feeling a little bit frustrated at the situation as well. "I feel like we've looked at every name in the world and nothing seems to be jumping out at us."

You let out a defeated sigh. "I just want something that will feel like it'll suit him, something he can grow into."

Harry leaned back against the couch, tilting his head up so that he was looking at the ceiling. "What about something earthy? Like Atlas?"

"Atlas?"You sat up as best you could with a 32 week baby bump and looked at your husband with intrigue littering your face.

"Yeah," Harry nodded his head, feeling a little bit nervous. "I know it's a little unusual but I think its a strong name, it sounds like something that'll suit him."

You let the name ponder in your head for a second. "It's a big name to live up to."

"I know," Harry looked a lot more relived now at your tone of voice. "But I think he can handle it, he is a styles after all."

You looked at your husband, feeling a little bit awed. "Okay, let's do it, let's name our son Atlas."

"Really?" Harry grinned at you, looking a little bit emotional.

You couldn't help but feel a little bit emotional to, "I think it's perfect."

As you started gathering up the blanket at the picnic basket, you felt a sense of gratitude, thanks to the stars, they had brought you all closer as a family. Reminding you of the wonder of life.

As you both walked inside, Harry holding your fatigued toddler, and wrapped an arm around you. "That was really nice, I'm glad we did that."

"Me too," You answered him, feeling extra closeness to the man who had captured your heart. "It's nice to just spend time together as a family and enjoy the beauty of the night."

Walking up the stairs, Harry had now moved his arm so that you were holding hands and he started talking softly. "Do you remember the first time we went stargazing?"

You smiled at him. "Of course I do, it was on our first date."

Harry chuckled, his eyes twinkling. "I remember it like it was yesterday, we went up to your roof and stared at the stars."

Your first date.

Oh, it felt like it was yesturday.

You nervously walked into the trendy restaurant, scanning the room for your date. As you looked around, you saw him sitting at a table near the back, his curly hair falling in front of his forehead.

"Hi." You made your presence known as you approached the table he was sat at.

He looked up at the sound of a voice, his green eyes locking onto yours. "Hey there."

As he pulled the chair out for you to sit down at the table, you couldn't help but feel a little star struck, you had definitely been a fan of Harry's for years now, and you simply couldn't wrap your head around the fact that you were going to be having dinner with him.

As the date between the two of you progressed, you realised just how charming, funny and down to earth he actually was. He asked you questions about your life, what interested you and you found yourself opening up to him in a way you never had before.

As the meal came to an end, Harry leaned across the table, his eyes once again locking onto yours. "I've had a great time tonight."

"Me too." our cheeks flushed as you looked back at him.

As the two of you walked out of the restaurant, thankful that no paparazzi had caught onto the fact that you and Harry were on a date, Harry took your hand and entwined his fingers through yours. "Can I see you again?"

You nodded your head, feeling a sense of happiness. "I would love that."

Over the next few weeks, your dates with Harry just seemed to get better and better and after each date, the night always ended with the two of you falling asleep under the stars.

"It was so romantic," You pondered, warmth escaping your body. "I remember feeling like I was onto of the world, knowing that I got to go on a date with Harry Styles."

"You're still on top of the world." Harry told you, looking at you lovingly.

"You're so sweet." You watched as Harry adjusted Atlas in his arms, so that he was now cradling him, cuddling him closer to him as you walked into the little boy's room.

It instantly made you think about the first time you saw him hold his son in the hospital room.

Harry looked down at his new-born son for the first time, tears streaming down his face. He couldn't wrap his head around the fact that he was now a father, and that this tiny, perfect little boy he was cradling in his arms was now his to love and cherish forever.

"Hey there, little guy," He whispered, "I'm your dad, and I promise you now that I am always going to be here for you, no matter what."

The baby yawned, and snuggled closer to Harry, his heart swelling with pride and joy. "You're so beautiful, I can't get over how perfect you are."

Harry stroked up and down the baby's soft cheek, looking up at you who was watching the two interact. "Thank you, thank you for giving me this perfect gift."

You smiled at him, and reached out to rest your head on your husbands shoulder, the tiredness finally catching up to you, the stiches in your lower stomach aching. "You're going to be the most amazing dad, ever."

The singer felt a sense of peace wash over his figure as he continued to hold his son close to him. He knew that being a father would be the most challenging but rewarding job in the world, but he was so ready for the challenge.

He glanced down into his son's wide eyes and realised that no matter how big he got, he would always be his little boy. He would love him for as long as he could, he vowed to be the best father he could ever be.

Anne and Gemma had come to visit you in the hospital the second Harry had said that it would be alright.

Telling the duo the name of your new-born son was a special moment that none of you would forget any time soon.

Atlas,

The boy who had captured your heart the second you set your eyes on him.

As you head your new-born son in your arms, you looked up to see Harry's mum and sister walking into the room, this was a moment you desperately wanted to share with them.

"Come and meet your grandson and nephew." You smiled, watching as they got closer and closer to you.

"He's beautiful." Anne complimented, reaching her hand out to touch at his tiny hand.

"Have you decided on a name yet?" Gemma quizzed the two of you, looking at her brother and you.

You glanced at your husband, who you could see was fidgeting with his wedding ring, a clear sign that he was nervous.

You watched as he took a deep breath, a sense of pride filling his chest. "We're going to be naming him Atlas Robin Styles."

There was a moment of silence that filled the room, as Gemma and Anne looked at each other, processing the name that they had just heard.

"Robin?" Anne repeated the name, eyes instantly welling with tears. "His middle names going to be Robin?"

Harry nodded his head, a lump forming in his throat. "Yeah, me and (Y/N) couldn't think of a better name for him to have, it's the only way we could honour him."

There were tears in everyone's eyes as you talked about Robin, reminiscing on the good times you all shared with him, thinking about how much he meant to Harry and his family.

"Robin would be so proud." Gemma was wiping away at her tears, as Harry wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

"Can we read a story?" Atlas was now awake in his room, the second Harry had tried to settle him down in his bed, he woke up straight away, not liking the fact he wasn't in the comforting arms of his father.

He was a daddy's boy through and through.

"Of course we can, munch," You agreed to his request, walking over to grab a book from his book shelf. "What one did you want to read?"

"Green eggs and Ham!" Your son shouted, grinning at you excitedly as Harry tried to get him to calm down.

Your husband was settled in next to your son, holding the book open as you read aloud to him.

As the story slowly progressed, Atlas's eyes slowly started to droop for the second time that evening, and soon enough he was snuggled up against your husband, his breathing slow and steady.

Being the son of a global superstar, moments like this were the ones you needed to cherish the most.

Most of the time, Harry would be doing interviews, so that meant he would be away from home quite a lot, whether that be in the studio or at the gym, or even touring the world.

But that didn't mean that everything was smooth sailing.

You and Harry both agreed that when Atlas graced the earth, you wanted to wait until he was of a responsible age to show his face to the world, but until that moment you would be protecting his face with everything you could.

But with his fans lurking around every corner, things just didn't turn out right.

Especially when taking a friendly walk down the street, or even walking through a park.

As you and Harry strolled through the park, joy filled your bones at the feeling of the fresh air entering your pores.

Your one year old son was sleeping soundly in his stroller, and the sun was shining down on the two of you on this lovely summers day.

Harry was wearing a white coloured t-shirt with blue writing on the front of it, a green cardigan thrown over his shoulder and a pair of ripped blue jeans hugging his legs, a mask covering his face.

You were wearing one of Harry's shirts matched with a pair of cycling shorts, some white air force and a mask covering your face due to the current pandemic.

But as the three of you continued to walk, you noticed out the corner of your sunglass covered eyes that a group of people were staring at the two of you from a distance, and as you got closer to them, you could tell straight away that they were here for your husband.

"Excuse me," One of them said, stepping forward and blocking the path you were walking down so that you stopped and had to talk to them. "Can we please take a picture with you?"

You looked at Harry, a sense of slight panic hitting you. You had been in quarantine for the first part of Atlas's life, so no one got to see his face, you and Harry both mentally agreed that they weren't going too see his face now.

"Sorry, maybe not today," Harry let them down softly, trying to keep his voice calm and level headed. "We just wanted to come out on a walk with our son, sorry."

The fans were having absolutely none of it, they were persistent, they kept on asking for selfies and autographs, and each time that Harry tried to politely decline, you could slowly see the panic behind his eyes.

"Please, we just want to say hi." Another fan spoke, stepping even closer.

You looked down at your son, who had the blanket brought up to his face involuntarily in his sleep as if he knew, a sense of protectiveness filled you, you weren't ready to expose him to the public as of yet.

"Sorry, but were just not taking any pictures today," Harry explained to them, and by the tone of his voice, you could tell that he wanted this to be the final time he tell them.

There was a moment of awkward silence as the fans realised that you and Harry were not going to be giving in any time soon, so they walked away, making you breath out a sigh of relief.

"Thanks for handling that, baby." You spoke to him as you continued on your park walk.

Harry grabbed a hold of your hand and kissed the back of it. "Anything for my family."

"G'night, little man." Harry whispered, pressing a kiss to his sons warm forehead.

Atlas pouted his lips slightly. "Night, night, daddy."

You and Harry then proceeded to tip toe out of the room, leaving your son to his peaceful dreams, as the two of you walked down the hallway, you both looked at each other and smiled.

"Another successful bedtime." Harry looked at you and grinned.

As you and Harry headed into bed, after getting changed and completing your night routines, you both climbed into your double bed, both letting out a yawn.

"I'm tired." You yawned, rubbing at your eyes.

"It's been a long day." Harry chuckled, bringing you closer to him.

"Y'know, I was thinking," Harry turned to look at you, his arm resting on your waist. "We should plan a trip to the beach this summer."

You smiled at him. "That sounds amazing, I haven't been to the beach in ages."

"Great, I'll start looking for places tomorrow," Harry nodded, leaning forward to kiss you softly.

"I love you," You murmured as a sense of warmth hit your body like a truck.

"And I love you," Harry smiled, before letting out a small laugh. "Y'know, I always sleep better when your next to me."

"Same, here." You informed him, giggling like a school girl.

You had me Harry when the two of you were twenty-one, he had his iconic long hair, and you still had a bit of a baby face.

Four years into dating, he proposed, and you got married the following summer.

The proposal was definitely unexpected.

Due to you and Harry's obsession with the stars, Harry had booked for the two of you to come here for your fourth anniversary. As you walked through the different rooms, he would point out all the different telescopes.

"Look at that one," He said, pointing to a massive telescope in the centre of the room. "It's the most powerful one in the entire observatory."

You walked over to the telescope and bent down so that you could look through there eye piece, eyes instantly falling onto a collection of stars.

Suddenly, Harry took your hand and pulled you away from the telescope. "Come with me."

"What's going on?" All you could feel was a sense of anticipation.

Harry stopped walking, you heard him suck in a small breath before he turned round to face you and got down on one knee.

"Ever since I met you, I've known that you were the one for me," He began, his voice wavering slightly. "And I can't imagine spending the rest of my life with anyone else, will you do my the upmost honour of marrying me?"

You gasped, feeling tears instantly wet your eyes.

"Yes," You threw your arms around his figure, when he stood back up to his normal height. "Of course I will!"

As the ring got slipped onto your finger, you felt Harry's heart beating wildly against his rib cage, his heart beating rhythmically against yours.

It was one of the most amazing moments of your life.

Your head was laying against his shoulder, when you felt a sudden wave of nausea wash over you.

"Ugh," You groaned, throwing your head back slightly as you clutched your stomach.

"Are you okay?" Harry asked, eyes squinted as he ran a hand up and down your arm.

"I don't know," You spoke, feeling a little bit dizzy. "I think I may be coming down with something."

Harry sat up slightly, looking at you with concern. "Do you want me to come and get you some water?"

"No, I'll be okay, I think," You told him, taking a deep breath. "Actually, there's something I need to tell you."

Harry raised an eyebrow. "What is it?"

Another deep breath fell from your lips, your heart racing. "I'm pregnant..."

For a moment, Harry just stared at you, his eyes wide with shock as what you had just told him, then a huge grin overtook his facial features, and he let out a soft gasp of joy.

"Really?!"He asked, pulling you even closer to him. "That's amazing, m'love."

"I found out this morning." You told him through teary eyes.

"We're going to be parents to two?" Harry wisped, leaning forward to rest his forehead against yours. "Atty's going to be the best big brother."

When Atlas was born, your nerves were through the roof, he had to be removed from your womb via C-section due to the fact he was breech.

As you laid on the operating table, your turned your head to the left and saw your husband say on a chair next to you, wearing his own hospital scrubs, his hand was holding yours and squeezing it tightly.

"You're doing absolutely amazing, m'love," Harry kept reassuring you as the surgeons got everything ready. "I'm right here with you, every step of the way.

"I'm scared," You felt a tear roll down your cheek, feeling completely overwhelmed with the whole situation. "What if something goes wrong?"

"Don't think like that," Harry told you, leaning forward to press a kiss to your slightly sweaty forehead. "Nothing is going to go wrong, you're going to be fine, and so is our baby, I promise."

As the doctor's began to work, your felt your husbands hand in yours the entire time, holding on tight. You felt a little pain, but it was nothing compared to the joy you felt when your heard your babies first cry.

As the doctor's lifted the baby boy up so you and Harry could see him over the blue curtain that was draped over your mid section, you felt tears of joy streaming down your face.

Harry leaned forward and kissed your lips. "He's perfect."

"Thank you," You turned to look at your husband, feeling completely overwhelmed, completely grateful for his support.

He smiled, taking a hold of your hand. "I love you, and I love our baby boy, and I'm so glad that your both okay."

The love and support of the one man who had captured your heart was all that you could ever ask for.

"It's going to be a wild ride." Harry giggled, "But we're in this together, and I wouldn't want to be anywhere else."

As you drifted off to sleep that night, you could feel Harry's arms wrapped around you, holding you close, you knew that no matter what changes lay ahead, you would always have today, the love and this beauty to hold onto.