#harrystylesoneshot

First went the lipstick.

This was so fucking stupid. Why the fuck did I do this?

Then the foundation.

I could've been asleep this entire time! 

Then the eyebrows followed by the mascara.

He's not even going to fucking care, nor notice! I not only wasted makeup, but my time and effort! All of this shit could've gone towards a job interview! A family reunion! A date for god sake! 

I stared at my bright red, assaulted, skin; dark mascara still under my eye, smears of lipstick left behind, telling me I needed another makeup wipe.

My eyes burned as the tears settled in my waterline.

I looked date ready, and maybe that's what hurt? Knowing I looked date ready for a man who would never want to date me.

I washed my face with water and a cleanser before grabbing a hair tie and throwing my hair up into a now high, loosely curled ponytail.

I leaned back against the wall, my dark circles from lack of sleep, and the mascara residue staring me in the face.

Pulling off my expensive plain white shirt that had pretty lace detailing on the cuffs of my sleeves left me in a white, lacey bra; I groaned.

This was so fucking stupid.

Unclipping the fancy bra, I tossed it to the ground, ignoring the way my boobs fell and weighed down my chest as I entered my bedroom, grabbing a simple nude, plain bra and a loose t-shirt.

Stupid stupid stupid Delaney! 

I wiggled out of my stupid skin tight shorts, grabbing some loose, easy to move in jeans that had wide, baggy hole's in the knees.

The sun was starting to rise, and I knew Harry would already be out this morning taking care of the animals and I felt like I was going to be sick.

I just wasted two hours on a man just to wipe it all off because of my stupid impulsive decisions! I could've just left it all on, said fuck him, and felt good about myself all day, but nooooo, I got insecure and wiped it all off and wasted it! I didn't even take a fucking picture!

Stupid stupid Delaney! 

I ran my hands over my face, a strangled noise coming from my throat before I took a deep breath, grabbing my phone ready to hopefully get through today.

All day I avoided Harry the best I could. 

I couldn't face the fact of what I had done this morning, knowing damn well this man didn't want me. Along with the fact that he could have an entirely different family and I refuse to be a homewrecker! Or.. or.. or.. I don't know! Anything that will paint me in a bad light! I didn't need the drama. 

I got home from the market, my dad having called me asking me for help in the barn.

Walking in, Sassy trailing behind me like she owned the damn place, loudly meowing for attention; my father happily scooping her up and saying hello.

Spoiled brat.

My dad informed me that the horses needed their trail ride today before leaving Harry and I alone in the barn.

I stared at Harry's back, knowing I had to ask him for help, but deeply regretting ever needing him to begin with.

At least I wasn't wearing a lacy shirt, red lipstick and a probably crooked liner.

"Uh, hey.. how's it going?" I asked him, Harry bent over pulling bags of horse grain from a crate, placing it on the floor.

"Fine" he gruffly replied,  pulling another large bag of grain out of the crate, tossing it next to the other two.

I nodded — even though he couldn't see me, trying to think quick on my feet to not let what now felt like awkward silence, at least to me, linger longer than necessary.

"Are you busy?" I stupidly asked, regretting it immediately.

"Yes" he replied instantly, my head falling back on my shoulders as my eyes closed.

Of course he's fucking busy Delaney! He's literally doing a task right now!

"I uh.. are you able to help me with the horses?" I quickly spit out, "My dad has to go back to the Rickman's" Harry froze, his muscles visibly tensing, "And the horses need to go on their trail ride, I just.. normally Morgan, or Wrenlynn help me, but uh.. well" I stumbled, my anxious racing thoughts no long becoming coherent in my brain.

"I don't ride horses" He firmly replied, grunting as he picked up one of the horse feed bags, his boots thudding against the concrete as he walked over to the ladder, impressively, yet scaring the shit out of me, climbing it with one hand as the other held the feed.

I watched intently, afraid of him acting all macho and then falling off and busting his skull open.

I couldn't help myself but call out, "But you're a rancher?" knowing damn well I should've left it alone, but I was confused by how someone who works on a farm doesn't ride horses?

Harry didn't reply, in fact, it seemed as if he was ignoring my entire existence, shuffling around stuff on the loft, "Harry?" I called out again, standing far enough away that I could watch him moving the bags of grain around, acting like it was as easy as tossing a throw blanket into a ball on the floor. I sighed, "Harry, how can you not ride horses? You're a rancher" I stated the obvious again, wishing this man would open up more so I could simply understand his stiff and stern reactions. "Look, I wouldn't have asked if I knew it was a firm no; it's just we need to do it, and everyone else is busy, and it's a lot to do by myself. I was just asking for help is all, but if you can't, or don't want to, fine" I turned on my heel, walking towards Baylor, my all black Shire horse, grabbing my brush to clean his coat before braiding his mane, wanting to prevent tangles and matting whilst we worked when I heard Harry say directly behind me, "Can't you wait for your father to be back?" making me jump due to the close proximity.

"He's booked solid helping the town, Harry. It's fine, it'll just take me longer" I replied, running my hand down Baylor's side.

I grabbed my step stool, taking the two steps up before draping a blanket over his back, fitting the saddle over the blanket. I made sure nothing was too tight or too lose, and that the blanket was lose yet snug in all the right areas. Grabbing my lead, I begun to lead Baylor out of the stables, hoisting myself up and over when Harry asked, "This is your horse?"

"This is my baby—" 

"Baby nothing. That horse is bigger than you are!" He declared, my brow furrowing. 

"That's the point" 

"What?" 

"That's the point. A big girl needs a big horse. I like that he's big. I like that I feel safe and secure on him, even at my height and weight. He's a gentle giant" 

Harry appeared perplexed before shaking his head followed by saying, "My job is to help you, but I don't ride horses"

"May I ask why?"

"No" he replied instantly, my body stilling like someone had dumped cold water over my head.

 Oh.

Why?

"Alright well, I need to get started. If you need anything.... I'm sure you can find someone" I unintentionally huffed, giving Baylor his command to start walking down the driveway.

I got halfway down the road when a loud, "FINE! I'LL HELP!" made my head turn over my shoulder, Harry standing a good fifty, sixty feet from me with his arms crossed over his chest just staring at my horse's butt.

I stopped Baylor, getting us to turn around and face Harry, calling back, "NO ONE IS FORCING YOU!" my hand running down Baylor's neck.

"DO YOU WANT MY HELP OR NOT?!"

Baylor and I got back to barn after Harry just stared at us; Harry watching me slide down my horse, tying him to the barn post so I could grab the horse Harry would use, "So what changed your mind?" I asked, clearly having a death wish, silently praying he didn't decide then and there to leave me yet again in the dust.

"It's my job to help you" 

Ah. Yes. He's here because he has to be.

"Alright well, this is Tina" I showed Harry our Morgan horse, Harry scowling.

"I'm aware of your horses, Delaney"

"I know. This is your horse today. You said you don't ride horses, and she's really good for beginners" I ran my hand down her neck before starting to saddle her.

"Who names their horse Tina?"

"Don't disrespect Tina" I warned, "And Wren did"

"Of course she did" he scoffed, arms laid over one another across his chest.

I moved my mouth closer to Tina's ear, whispering, "Don't listen to him" 

I could practically feel Harry's nerves seeping out of him as I grabbed his protective gear.

I held out a helmet for him, Harry just starting at it before slowly taking it and placing it on his head. He clipped the buckle under his chin and I grinned.

"I look stupid, don't I" he stated, rather than asked, huffing slightly as my grin widened.

"You look great" I laughed, his eyes rolling. "Have you ever ridden a horse?" I asked, Harry nodding, staring at Tina like she was some alien. "When's the last time you rode a horse?" my curiosity piqued, the senseful part of my brain ignoring the blaring alarms telling me to shut up and leave him alone and just be thankful he is actually helping me.

Instead of replying, he asked, "Won't I break her?" making me snicker, shaking my head.

"Nope"

"But your horse is ginormous?" He frowned, tugging at my heartstrings as he appeared like a little boy afraid to learn to ride a bike.

"Shouldn't that make you more afraid?" I asked, Harry's head snapping over to look at me.

"I'm not afraid" he stated, sounding offended that I would even utter such thing.

Yeah, okay.

Tina was saddled up, and I led her out of the barn, handing her off to Harry before hopping up onto Baylor, waiting for Harry to do the same.

I watched Harry stand still, staring at Tina, his eyes closing for a moment before watching him take a deep breath.

Oh. This is more serious than I thought.

I watched as he hoisted himself up onto the horse; I could practically see him shaking in his boots from here.

I started to lead Baylor back down the driveway, assuming that once we got going Harry would be fine. I poked my head back around my shoulder, Harry still just sat on Tina by the barn.

"Come on slowpoke!" I called out, teasing.

I continued down the driveway, stopping to wait for Harry, only to see he was still by the barn.

I went back to the barn, hoping off Baylor and tying him to the barn again then walking over to Harry, smiling. 

"Hi" I grinned, Harry's eyes narrowed at me, "Need help?" I asked, not able to wipe the smug smile off my face. "Haven't ridden a horse before?" I asked, my tone slightly teasing, "Hm, figured you would've since you're a rancher and all" I giggled, rubbing my hand down the top of Tina's nose.

Harry's nostrils flare as he goes to get off, confusing Delaney

"Where are you going?" I asked, frowning.

"I'm not going"

"Why?"

"You're making fun of me. I have better shit to do anyway" He huffed, getting off the horse, beginning to walk away.

 I knew I was teasing him, but it was all in good fun! I didn't think he'd actually get upset! 

"I'm only making fun of you a little!" I call after him, snickering as my fingers pinched together, referencing my words. "I'll help you! Come back, please! I really need to get the horses out" I begged, guilt consuming me at the idea of having upset him. "Harry! I'm sorry!" I called after him, quickly jogging to him, my hand reaching out for his arm.

My fingers grasped his bicep, surprised by how warm his skin was, Harry still walking, ignoring my attempts at stopping his strides.

"Harry! Please!" 

"I offered to help you, and you made fun of me"

"I know, I'm sorry! I didn't think you'd actually get upset!" 

He turned quickly on his heel, facing me as I halted to a spot, "Why wouldn't I? I don't ride horses for a good reason and you made fun of me! Do you know how sick and twisted that is, Delaney?"

"But.. but I didn't mean to hurt you! I just.. you're a rancher Harry and you don't ride horses! It's a little comical. I'm sorry, please" I begged, "If I knew how serious it was, I wouldn't have done that, I promise!" I could feel my heartbeat in my ears as desperation crawled out of me, wishing I could take back everything.

"I don't appreciate being made fun of" He said, turning around, back enroute to his house.

"I'm sorry! Harry, please, stop!" I cried out, tired of chasing this man all over the ranch. "You know what? Fine! Pout! I didn't know it was this serious!" I yelled, my frustration staring to bubble over, "You know, maybe I wouldn't have made fun of you if you would've just been honest with me in the first place instead of keeping everything locked away! God, I try and I try and you just.. you just.. you ignore me! And you know what? Maybe that's my fucking fault for caring and shit, but YOU'RE A GROWN ASS MAN! Act like it!" I yelled, feeling eyes surround me.

My chest was moving rapidly and I quickly moved my head to see that all the animals were looking at me.

Great.

I ran back to Baylor and Tina, grabbing Tina and leading her back into the barn to take all her stuff off until I was ready for her again, tears flowing freely down my cheeks as I choked on a sob or two.

This day has been a disaster from start to finish, and I was sick and tired of it.

I was tired of constantly walking on eggshells, feeling like I can't freely express myself down to just making a joke. If he would've told me how serious it was, I would've taken him more seriously! Just telling someone "I don't ride horses" when you're a rancher sounds stupid! Why wouldn't I have thought he was just being an asshole to be an asshole? Somehow me reading him wrong has me crying yet again like it's my fault! If he would've just been honest I would've helped him.

I wiped at my face, pulling myself together before getting back on Baylor, very much so needing this trail ride for my own mental health rather than just exercising the horse.

"Delaney" Harry's rough, flat voice said, my head dropping low.

"What, Harry?"

"I apologize for not being honest with you." He said, getting my head to lift, turning to face him. "I don't ride horses anymore" He emphasized.

"Let me guess, I can't ask why" I huffed, tired of the back and forth.

His head shook, "I'd rather not talk about it, no" 

"Okay, well. Thanks for apologizing, I guess"

I commanded Baylor to start walking when Harry stopped me again.

I groaned, stopping Baylor.

"You know Harry, I could've been done already. If you don't want to help, you could've just told me. I need to get this done. I have a lot of stuff to do today. I asked for your help because I figured you'd actually be helpful" I huffed.

I swear he flinched, his jaw clenching as he nodded.

"Sorry for disappointing you then" His voice was monotonous with a hint of sarcasm and... disappointment? 

Shit.

"That's not what I meant" I groaned, my entire body wanting to just crumple into a ball on the floor.

"No, Delaney. It's exactly what you meant" He glared.

"No it's not—" I quickly defended, wishing I could just shut up and let him be mad at me; it would be a hell of a lot easier than bickering with him.

"Sounded pretty fucking crystal clear to me" He interrupted, frustrating me further.

"Goddammit Harry, will you just shut up for two seconds! That's not what I meant! I'm tired, I'm frustrated, and I have a lot to do! I swear I can't say anything without you getting mad at me and it's tiring!"

"You asked me for help!" His voice raised, nostrils flaring slightly before he took a deep breath, rolling back his shoulders, his Adam's apple visibly bouncing as he swallowed.

"I thought you'd be helpful!"

"I'm trying!"

"How?! You stop me every time I try to make progress!"

"I haven't ridden a horse in almost two decades, Delaney! I want to help you, I just don't remember how exactly" He grumbled, his hand moving up to brush against the tip of his nose before falling to his side and pulling at the end of shirt, attempting to straighten it out more, followed by running his hands through his hair, a few pieces falling down against his forehead.

"You could've just said that, you know. I would've helped and we could've avoided this entire song and dance you like to put us through" I huffed yet again, wishing I could strangle and kiss him all at the same time.

"My job is to help you. My job is to do what I'm asked. I.." he paused, chewing on his lip for a second, his eyes narrowing, "I can't do my job, when I don't know the task"

My head tilted, "Why do you view everything as a task?" I asked, brow furrowing as I licked my lips, rolling them.

"You assigned me the task"

"No," My head shook, "I asked for help" 

"Same thing"

"No Harry, it isn't. We're doing the task together. I just.. I don't understand why everything feels like a game to you? How many times do I have to tell you that this ranch is a team effort? I don't expect you to know everything! Or to get everything done in one day! If you're afraid of horses, or don't know how to ride a horse, you could've just said that. I wouldn't have pushed you any further, or made fun of you; I could've helped you if you had told me. Can you please, please, stop viewing me as the enemy? I'm trying here, Harry and you just keep shoving me away! It's frustrating, and tiring, and honestly? I'm getting sick of it"

"I haven't ridden a horse since I was ten" he said abruptly, shutting me up.

"What?"

"I haven't ridden a horse since I was ten" he repeated.

"Yeah, no, I heard you the first time. Explain further please?"

"No"

"No? Harry—"

"Stop! Stop pushing all the goddamn time! You want to talk frustrating?! That's frustrating! You act entitled, like you deserve to know everything! I'm starting to miss when you were quiet, overthinking to yourself. You don't need to know everything, Delaney. You say I keep playing games with you, then what is this? I tell you something and you just can't leave it alone!"

"I'm just trying to understand you better" My voice cracked, my chest feeling heavy as I watched him glare at me.

"Well don't. Just teach me how to ride this damn horse so I can get this over with" he roughly replied, walking towards the barn, his back to me once again.

I took a deep breath, attempting to collect my spiraling emotions.

 I'm starting to miss when you were quiet, overthinking to yourself.

Trust me, I hear you loud and clear this time. 

"Come on slowpoke!" Harry called out, my eyes widening slightly as the burn intensified.

Did he just...?

* * * * 

Harry shaved his head. This was not on my 2023 bingo card.

I would've had this out sooner, but I redid the entire chapter twice..

Written on: November 3rd, 7th, 10th 2023

Published on: November 10th 2023

Word Count: 3729

With a quick hand, his toddler scooped up the powder; small flakes of powder falling onto the counter, leaving a trail as he moved it sifter that was sitting in the dry bowl.

They repeated the process with the powdered sugar; his son stirring the two together which landed in a coughing fit as the toddler got a little wild.

With a quick wash of the counter, Harry helped his son pour the egg, oil and vanilla extract into the coco powder and powdered sugar.

"We need to stir again. Careful, please. The more mixture in the bowl, the more brownies you'll have" Harry snickered, helping his son stir the ingredients together due to the batter being quite thick.

"Mummy like deese?" The little boy asked, trying his best not to spill as he combined the mixture; struggling.

"Mummy loves brownies. You and mummy both love chocolate, don't you" Harry brushed the hair off his sons forehead in an upward motion with the palm of his hand, placing a tender loving kiss on the exposed skin before letting the hair fall again; the little boy giggling.

"Chocolates yummy!" the boy giggled, Harry grabbing his baking pan. 

When he turned back around, the younger boy had his fingers in the batter, Harry rolling his eyes as he snuck up on the child, swiping his longer finger through the thick batter and booping his son's nose, listening the complaint followed by giggles as he licked his finger clean; the child wiping the substance off his skin, licking his hand.

"Caught you red handed, mister" Harry teased, running the washcloth over the boys hand and nose.

"What's dat mean?" The boy questioned, Harry grabbing a spatual.

"It means I caught you in the act of being naughty, you batter thief"

"Mummy steals batter!" the toddler defended himself, Harry chuckling with a nod.

"Mhm, you and your mummy are two peas in a bod, love. Alright, let's pour this into the pan. I'll hold it because it's heavy, you scoop it into here, okay?" Harry instructed, picking up the bowl, angling it so his son could scrap it out. "Get  as much as you can, then you can lick the spatula" Harry reminded his child; watching some of the batter hit the side of the pan, partly following on the counter. "In the bowl" He chuckled.

"All done!" The little one declared, Harry peeking at the inside of the bowl; nodding.

"Two swipes and that's it, okay?" Harry handed the batter bowl over, grabbing the pan to place it into the oven.

Four sneaky swipes of the batter latter, Harry and Y/N's toddler was sat at the counter, drawing on a folded piece of paper whilst Harry cleaned up the baking mess.

It was tradition that their son hand made the card up until he was over it; the memories it held was more important than anything a store bought card could say.

Before Harry started cleaning, he grabbed  a marker and asked what the young one wanted the card to say, reminding him that it was his mothers birthday.

With pencil, Harry wrote down the letters, letting Y/S/N trace them as best as he could with the marker.

Happy Birthday Mummy!

I love you so much!

Hope you like the brownies 

and gift!

love  Y/S/N 

followed by a sticker of a green monster at the end, colorful scribbles all over the blank paper; filling it up to his delight.

With the brownies out and cooling; Harry and the quite independents toddler got to wrapping the gifts.

He let his son mess with the wrapping paper, helping him where he needed it; which was everywhere, but Harry would never admit that. 

The wrinkled, crumbled, toddler attempted wrapping paper was just as good as a pristine crease cornered bow tied present. 

 On the table there was his wife's favorite flowers in a vase, adding more color to their daily lives; the wrapped presents laid next to it as Harry placed the homemade brownies in front; propping up the home made card.

A couple photos later of their only child and all the effort he put into his mothers birthday; his mum finally walked through the door; arriving home from her spa day.

"Happy birthday mummy!" Y/S/N yelled, running over to his mum, wrapping his arms around her legs, happily being scooped up by his mother; giggling as she kissed him all over.

"Thank you baby. Did you have a good day with daddy?" She asked, Harry smiling as the young one nodded. 

"We made brownies! See!" he pointed towards the table; Harry's cheeks hueing pink when he met his wife's gaze after she'd noticed the set up, a wide smile spreading across her face.

"You made be brownies?" she asked, her son nodding. "All by yourself?" 

"Daddy helped!"

"He did? Why aren't I so lucky! My boys made brownies! Are those gifts I see?" She pretended to peak, the toddler nodding with a grin, wiggling out of his mums grasp.

"I WRAPPED THEM!" He screamed, running over to the table, swiping it off and running back over to show her.

"You're so talented little one. It looks so good Y/S/N" She smiled, grinning as the little holes in the wrapping paper, appearing to be held together by tape.

Y/N and Y/S/N made their way over to the table, Harry greeting her with a side hug and a quick kiss, murmuring "Happy Birthday, love" against her lips; loving the way her eyes sparkled as she stared at hm.

"Thank you" She mouthed, listening to her toddler ramble about his day with his dad.

"Takeaway is on it's way" Harry informed her, scooping up their loud mouth toddler, attacking him with tickles, loving the way his talkative babble turned into screaming giggles.

"Should we open gifts now or after dinner?" Y/N asked, Harry setting the panting toddler back on the ground.

"NOW!" her offspring yelled, attempting to climb onto the table, Harry scooping him off with the dad look.

"It is my birthday" She hummed, watching the way her son's eyes lit up in hope; "I guess we can eat dessert first and open gifts whilst we wait for the takeaway to get here"

* * * * 

Written on: October 4th, 5th 2023

Published on: October 5th 2023

Word Count: 1780

“Gunna let me in sweetheart?” He asked, a tiny smirk appearing on her face as she went to shut the door in his face, Harry’s palm slapping the hard wooden door, stopping it. “You think you’re so cute” 

“Actually-”

“Shut up and kiss me or I’m getting back on that plane to London” He threatened, Y/N pulling him into her dorm, letting the door shut as their lips locked. “I’ve missed you baby”

Y/N showed Harry all her course work, Harry having asked how college was going, joking that he would’ve dropped out the second they said he would have to buy a $100 textbook.

“Okay Mr. Multimillionaire” She laughed, setting the textbook aside.

That evening they decided to be risky and slip out of the dorms, Harry having been craving Sushi, promising Y/N they’d stop at her favorite market on the way back.

Hand in hand they walked through campus, the sushi place being around the corner.

“Y/N?” A girl said, causing his girlfriend to turn and look, Harry following her lead. “You’re dating Harry Styles?” She asked, Y/N immediately freezing.

“Just hanging out. See you later Mimi” Y/N waved, tugging Harry away who was giggling to himself. “I swear I just watched you shit your pants”

“You’re the one who suggested we leave the safety of my dorm!” 

“Want to explore my beautiful girlfriend's campus. I haven’t been to college, you know? I mean, look at this place” He spoke in awe, tilting his head up as he looked around. “My girlfriend is so smart” He complimented, leaning over to kiss her cheek.

“Harry, we’re in public!” She gasped, shocked by his boldness.

She was surprised they were openly holding hands, and now he’s kissing her cheek? 

“And?”

“I don’t want to be on a tabloid looking like garbage!” she griped, already seeing people’s phones out.

“You don’t look like garbage babe” he reassured her, Y/N shaking her head, “I’m in BU sweatpants and your hoodie. I look like trash”

“We’re literally wearing the same thing”

~

“I don’t know how you eat that shit” She fake gagged, Harry fake a moan as he ate it, smirking at his girlfriend. “That’s disgusting”

“‘I’m so glad you love me so much babe” He teased, picking up a piece of sushi with his chopsticks, trying to force it into her mouth, Y/N’s lips in a thin line as she avoided the gross food, Harry’s grin turning into a laugh.

“You’re an asshole!” She pouted, Harry happily eating the sushi.

“Oh my god, are you Harry Styles?” A girl asked, stopping dead in her tracks by the table.

“I am, hello” He greeted her, setting the chopsticks down, the fan looking over at me, then back at Harry.

“Oh my god, Hi! I love your music! I’m seeing you next year” She exclaimed, a smile on her face.

“Awe, thank you love! Can’t wait to see you. Are you coming to the Boston show?” he asked, the girl nodding.

“I spent my life savings on it, it was worth it!” She giggled, Y/N stealing pieces of rice off Harry’s plate, Harry noticing out of the corner of his eye.

Y/N took the fan’s photo before the fan left them alone.

📍Boston, Massachusetts 

kristina_Heavens: Just met @harrystyles on my BU Campus, what is happening!! 

“Sorry baby” he apologized, turning his plate towards, Y/N, silently offering her his rice.

“S’fine, let me know if you want a box” She murmured, leaning back in her chair, pulling out her phone and subconsciously checking her timeline.

📍Boston, University 

Alyssamorelli: No fucking way is @harrystyles on my fucking campus right now

Y/N quietly sighed, shutting off her phone.

Harry knew that sigh.

“What’s wrong love?”

“We’re all over my friends' Instagram feeds” She mumbled, pinching some of the rice between her fingers, dropping it into her mouth.

“And that’s a problem, why?” He asked, plopping the last piece of sushi into his mouth, his eyes watching her subtle movements.

“It’s not a problem per se.. Just… nervous people will change around me, you know? I like being a loner. It makes skimming by easier” She confessed, Harry letting out a light chuckle.

“Next time I’ll hire an FX artist and transform myself. Show up to your dorm as an old man, big bushy beard, the whole nine yards” he grinned, Y/N smiling, shaking her head.

She gave her student ID to the woman at the counter, getting a discount on the meal, the two of them thanking her and heading out.

That night Y/N cuddled up into Harry’s chest, her laptop playing a Netflix show they had chosen to watch together as she skimmed through her math assignment, anxiously waiting for her roommate to get back.

Before she knew it, Harry had fallen asleep next to her, his arm draped over her lap as she hunched forward, pausing the show only to hear her door open, Freya walking in, her arms full of books.

Freya’s eyes widened, almost dropping her books before whisper yelling “You didn’t tell me he was coming!” to which Y/N whisper yelled “I didn’t know!” 

Y/N proceeded to quietly explain the situation, her roommate dropping all their books onto their bed, falling into their nightly routine as if Harry wasn’t even there.

The next morning Y/N and Harry went out to breakfast together off of campus, going on a mini exploration date; Harry commenting how much he loved Boston’s weather this time of year.

“I thought you were a London boy?” She teased, their hands intertwined as they walked along the sidewalk.

“London is nice in portions” he began to explain, turning to look at his beautiful girlfriend. 

How did he get so lucky?

“In portions?” She laughed, his lips tugging up into a smile, “You told me you loved it there! Now it’s only good in portions?” She giggled.

“It depends if you’re in the mood for the weather it brings, I guess. Plus, it’s busy and uh, being famous.. Can’t really sneak around as much there”

“Are you ever going to bring me?” She joked, Harry’s been hounding her for months, but with her school and work schedule she can’t seem to find any time to free herself from BU’s Campus.

“Don’t even start!” His voice raised, giving her a playful look.

“Oh come on H! Wanna meet your mum” She mocked his accent, Harry faking offense.

“Bloody American you are”

Y/N rolled her eyes, tugging Harry along with her into a shop, promising herself to not buy anymore trinkets, but that didn’t mean Harry wasn’t ready to open up his wallet, finding a magnitude of gifts for his family.

Their last day together was bittersweet, but also welcomed.

Y/N hated leaving him, but she also loved when he came back to surprise her. It gave her something to look forward to each day.

“I’m sorry people took photos of you” Harry murmured into her neck, placing a soft kiss against her skin, Y/N’s arms clinging onto his back.

“It’s alright” She sighed, Harry placing kisses up her jaw to her cheek before letting hips lips linger against her own.

“I’m going to miss you bubs” He frowned slightly at her, Y/N shaking her head.

“Just a phone call away, remember? Plus, I like when you surprise me, you know that” She grinned, Harry nodding, kissing her once more.

“I’m sorry I could only stay for two days-”

“Hey, no. Stop. It’s alright. Two days is better than no days. I’m happy I got to see you at all” She quickly reassured him, her hands reaching for his face, cradling his cheeks between her palms.

“You’re still going to try and come to a show, right?” He asked, Y/N nodding. 

“I really want to. Who knows, maybe I’ll ditch for you” She grinned, Harry’s smirk beginning to show. “It’s just hard since I’m almost graduated. I’ve got so much to do” She pouted, her hands falling down to his waist as Harry’s hands slid around to her ass, resting his hands as he kissed her again.

“Well, I can wait to be there when you get your degree, and I’m sure one of the guys will FaceTime you again if you can’t make it. I know how important graduating with honors is to you, little miss, I want to be the valedictorian”

“Hey! I’m working my ass off! Might as well have something to show for it!” She swatted his arm, harry’s hands moving to her waist, tugging her closer.

“Your master’s isn’t good enough?” he teased, Y/N rolling her eyes.

“Leave me alone Mr. This song is amazing but doesn’t fit the album. Release Singles! You can put things out that aren’t on an album Harry!” She began to argue, one they’ve had a plethora of times, neither one budging.

They playfully argued for a moment before Harry just leaned down and kissed her, knowing it worked every time, unless she truly was pissed, then he was opening a whole new door in satan’s layer.

“I’ve got to get going baby” He reminded her, sadness washing over Y/N again. “I’ve placed my recent hoodie on your bed and yours is in my bag” He reminded her, the ritual becoming a piece of mind for the both of them.

“I still can’t believe it fits you, and you wear it” She snickered, her hands playing with his hair.

“You buy hoodies in my size” he reminded her, chuckling.

“They’re comfy!”

“I know love, why I buy ‘em” 

“Shut up and get out before Jeffery sends a search warrant!” She playfully shoved him towards the door, Harry letting out a crackle.

“I love you too” he teased, his girlfriend grinning.

“I love you more, go be Harry Styles, kay?” 

“As long as I get to come home and be Harry for you”

Y/N nodded, her eyes beginning to sting, knowing he was about to walk out the door and she wouldn’t see him until god knows when.

With one more hug and kiss, the two separated and Harry signed out on the dorm sheet, wishing Y/N’s RA a good evening, repeating his route back to the airport, ready to go take off his BU hoodie and sweatpants, and put on his dazzling suit patterns, perfected hair and impeccable charm, praying that his visit on campus didn’t rise any havoc in his girlfriend’s life.

He was perfectly fine playing the role of Harry Styles, if that meant he got to still be Harry at the end of the day, snuggled up in bed on FaceTime with his girlfriend.

He didn’t know how he got so lucky finding the most incredibly beautiful, smart, ambitious, and extremely understanding girl.

"Wembley! This is my son, he's learned to crawl" Harry laughed, kissing his son's cheek again. "Where's mummy?" He questioned, walking over to where his wife normally was. "Did mummy abandon you? Where's your mum? Y/N?" Harry spoke into the mic, confused. "I guess we do have a guest, I don't know where your mum went" Harry hummed, bouncing his son a little.

"I guess we're having an intermission" Harry spoke in a baby voice, his son wiggling out of his hold. "They weren't kidding when they said once they learn to move, it's all they want to do!" Harry told the crowd, keeping an eye on his son who was crawling across the stage towards Mitch. "I guess I'm to blame for this one" Harry chuckled, "During sound check I sort of uh.. encouraged this earlier. Ya know? When it was safer… — has anyone located my wife?" Harry questioned again, eyeing towards his manager.

On the big screen showed Harry's 1 year old son messing with Mitche's shoelaces, Mitch wiggling his foot which was frustrating the baby,

Harry covered the mic with his hand, moving it away from him; his back to the crowd as he called for his son, gaining the baby's attention.

Harry and Y/N had decided to keep his name a secret, but the baby quickly turned around at his name, a grin on his face, ignoring whatever Harry had said which ended in Harry walking over and picking him up.

"Terrible twos came early" Harry muttered in the mic, the crowd laughing.

"I guess I'll be sitting down with my little love for this next one! If anyone has located my wife, let me know!" He announced, carefully sitting down on the stage, his son now in his lap, fascinated by the corded mic.

As Harry sang Matilda, he kept looking down at his son, not being able to hold back his smile.

This was home.

Harry was informed once the song was done that Y/N had been located, tsking his wife as she climbed the steps.

"Want to tell the arena where you were off to?" Harry spoke in a fake parental tone which made his wife grin.

"I had to go to the loo! Jeff was babysitting!" She defended, grabbing her baby from her husband.

"So it was Jeff's fault! Typical" He tsked, chuckling, removing the mic and leaning in, whispering in Y/N's ear before covering their faces and then kissing his son, waving bye bye.

To love the twins, came naturally, he didn’t have to think twice. For Lilith, he needed realizations, flashbacks of his mistakes to know that he needed to love her.

The Christmas dinner has been just like that Monday morning in the Polaroid.

Lilith didn’t come.

Harry stayed up all night, even after his progeny went to sleep. Y/N had tried keeping him company but had fallen asleep somehow. Harry kept gazing at the door as if it would magically open to reveal Lilith. The morning came up, but she didn’t.

The twins had started packing their stuff to get into their apartment. They had the same interests and got into the same university so they had decided to share a room too. Harry smiled in deja vu. It felt like yesterday when he had heard Lilith’s heart-wrenching confession.

Two weeks later, the picture-perfect family was now stripped of the two oldest members.

It was a random Sunday when the bell chimed. Harry had tried to keep his guilt-consuming thoughts to himself, telling himself that it was selfish to feel this miserable when he was the culprit. That Sunday, Harry was home, playing with Jake and Stella, while Y/N went for work. Harry stood up from the couch and went to open the door and shock befell his features.

Distant sea-green eyes, short purple-blonde hair, and short-full lips, all in front of him. He was so ecstatic that tears burnt the rim of his eyes. “Li-Lilith”, Harry choked out as Lilith swallowed guilt of her own.

She hadn’t meant to make her dad feel so bad.

“I figured the twins would still be there for their last Christmas with you guys, if I came back then, the festive mood would’ve gone down, so…”, she trailed off and Harry’s heart was clenching, relaxing, beating, palpitating hard.

He took a step forward and pulled her to his chest, tight. Lilith hesitated to put her arms around Harry. This man, who is her father, who had never even held his hand during a carnival, let alone hug her, should she bask in the moment and forgive him or should she let him struggle a little more.

“You don’t know how important this moment is for me”, Harry muttered.

He pulled back, wiping away his bleary eyes as she took in her figure once more. A girl who was barely half his height a decade and a half ago now reached his full height. He caught sight of a couple of tattoos on the side of her neck and the shell of her ear. When did she get so big? A little moment later, he caught sight of something, rather someone behind her. A tall figure, ash-brown hair, flat chest, and a penis. Harry watched the guy with scrutiny. “He is Lucas”, Lilith sighed. “Hello”, Lucas extended his hand, which Harry unwillingly shook.

“He will be gone now. Our only deal was he would give me a lift to my dad’s”, Lilith said, sharply, looking at the charming boy who lifted his hands in surrender.

“Geez. I’ll back off”, he laughed, jumping down the stairs and into the car where she was once sitting.

Harry had questions swirling in his mind, but for now, he wanted to keep them at bay. “Come in”, Harry forced a smile and stepped to the side. Lilith walked behind him, only with a small bag, but it was enough to make Harry smile. She was willing to stay, even if for a day.

Harry wouldn’t really admit it to the media, but the recent few songs that he had written were about his daughter, Lilith. ‘The grass is greener, under your feet, And I know I’m terrible, I’ll admit. I’m just another culprit at fault, and you, you’re my fleeting summer. You’re my picture-perfect moment, even if you deny’

Harry wondered if Lilith heard any of the lines, any of his songs to know that he was guilty. The childhood room was stark dark, but it wasn’t dusty or dirty. Harry and Y/N made sure to clean and air the room every day.

Damn, if that didn’t show how much they missed Lilith.

But Lilith had other interpretations, they missed her because they were guilty, because they overheard her express her feelings; if she never said those words, never let the walls know, he would not miss her. He would be relieved she was gone.

“Dad, I know”, Lilith muttered, stopping Harry in his tracks. “What do you know?”, Harry asked, gulping down his own saliva. “Matilda Brown. A mistake in 2003.”, she muttered and Harry’s heart was faster than a damn snake. “Li-Li”, Harry couldn’t even complete her name.

“You cheated on mom with some woman. Not a random one, but your fleeting ex whom you dated for merely a month before breaking up. It was a mistake. I was a mistake, you shouldn’t have committed. But now that I know, I can see it. It was difficult for you to look at me and not remember what happened. It was difficult for mom to look at me and not think back to a time where it was rough. But yet, your thoughts pushed me back into a dark place. I always used to wonder what was my fault, but who knew my only fault was being born”, she let out a humorless chuckle.

Harry’s heart was hurting, strings pulling painfully as he imagined once again, how it felt like to be in her shoes. A child who doesn’t know anything, but tries everything she could just to get an apprehensive nod from her father or get her mother to at least join her for a picnic where all her friends and their parents were present. But she fails again and again until she gives up.

Without knowing what to do, he just took a few steps forward and pulled her into another heart-wrenching hug. “I am sorry, I am really really sorry”, Harry said, breaking into sobs, although he yelled at himself to stop. In his mind, he was making everything about himself. Following the sound, Jake and Stella reached Lilith’s room. “Li-Li”, they exclaimed clinging to her leg. “Hey buds”, she smiled. It took them a few seconds to notice the new dragon tattoo on her neck and a little fern at the shell of her left ear. Harry followed their curious gazes. “That must have hurt. Dada said that needles poke into the skin to get that thing done”, Jake said pointing to the tattoo. “Well, it did hurt a little”, she said, rubbing the neck tattoo, “but it's fine”, she muttered.

Harry ushered the kids out and said, “Rest for a while before your mom comes, she’d be ecstatic to see you”

And then when she fell on the bed with a dramatic thud, she woke up straight at 8 PM, almost dinner time.

She changed into comfortable pajamas and walked downstairs. “You think she’ll forgive us?”, she heard hushed whispers from the kitchen. It was Y/N. “I don’t know. We did her way too wrong. I wish I noticed my actions sooner”, it was Harry.

Lilith knocked on the kitchen door to break them from their stance. Y/N smiled ear to ear as she lurched forward to hug her. Lilith broke a smile. This affection felt odd.

“I missed you”, Y/N muttered, barely above a whisper.

Lilith let out a humorless laugh. “Well, you wouldn’t have if you both hadn’t eavesdropped that night.”, she let out and both the parents froze.

Lilith noticed the shift in energy. “I know. I know every last bit of information I was kept away from.”, Lilith sighed.

“I am --We’re just sorry honey.”, Y/N didn’t know what else to say.

“18 years. 18 years, I felt so unwanted, I was 10 when I first thought I wasn’t supposed to be born, which is well, kind of true. At 13, I gave up everything I had because I started thinking that you guys didn’t even care. You know it hurts like a double-edged sword was piercing again and again. On top of that, I watched as you guys acted as the perfect parents to the other kids. I was jealous. I knew I wasn’t supposed to feel that way, but I couldn’t help it. Guilt, remorse and hurt. 18 years of feeling that, and I couldn’t even cry when I lost friends or became alone in this world. And 7 years of contemplating dying so at least then, you guys would acknowledge my presence, or rather the lack thereof. When this feeling surmounts to years, you want me to forgive you in one day?”, Lilith muttered, choking at the end. She was not the kind of person to express her thoughts, but somehow, voicing them felt more hurtful than keeping it inside.

Harry’s mouth was left hanging, gulping for air. Only if he had known.

Y/N felt guilty. Only if she had noticed.

“I--I, Fuck, Just give us another chance, even if we don’t deserve it, please, Lilith. I am sure we were the worst parents to you, but you don’t have to forgive us, ju--just give me another chance to be your mother”, Y/N muttered.

“I’m not here to forgive and forget. I am here to get closure. I don’t know if we are ever going to cross paths after this, but if we do, that will be it”, Lilith muttered, with a stoic face.

“P-Please”, Harry was crying.

Lilith’s heart was hurting, seeing the people she searched attention from crying. What kind of a daughter was she? She had promised herself that she would never make her parents cry, that she’d never be that kind of a daughter, but she was doing just that.

“D-Don’t do this, it ain’t fair for me. You still have four other kids that you’ve loved and who have loved you back. J-Just, don’t do this”, Lilith stuttered. She never stuttered.

“You don’t need to come every holiday. You don’t need to bring the boy you love to us. Just please come here once a while, just stay here, even if in silence, just please”, Harry’s head hung low.

Lilith couldn’t see straight with the tears blurring her vision.

She battled internally. To or not to?

“Al-Alright”, her shaky voice gave in. She had nowhere else to go to after all.

The couple beamed at the single yes she had given to them. “Don’t expect me every holiday. Don’t expect me to introduce my boyfriend. Don’t expect me to do things that the other kids would. But maybe if I marry one day, I would invite you guys. Maybe if I bear children, I’ll let them call you grandpa or grandma. And if I die someday, unexpectedly, you guys are welcome to conduct my funeral”, Lilith sighed, getting rid of the tiny droplets.

Harry lunged forward, bearing her into a warm hug, one that only Lucas had ever given her. Harry had a big smile, which she couldn’t quite believe.

As he parted, his brows furrowed for a while, “Anyways, who was the guy who dropped you off?”, he asked, with curiosity. He didn’t want to overstep, he didn’t want to cross the line he had just mended, but he was tired of keeping tabs on her, knowing what she was up to only from a third party.

“Just my drug dealer”, Lilith shrugged, Harry’s body went rigid and Y/N’s smile fell. “Joking.”, she raised her hands in surrender. “Lucas is a classmate, a guy I’m familiar with”, she replied, pushing her hands into her pockets.

Harry smiled, Y/N smiled too. As they sat at the dinner table, she took a better look at the house, there were new pictures, not only the ones with six people, but also with one another shadow-like girl.

The girl hiding behind her father when everyone else posed for the picture.

The girl was captured as a mistake while she was playing football behind the family.

The girl looked at her father as he, for the first time, tucked the rose that she had picked out behind his ear.

And under one of the pictures where the two-year-old girl was wrapped in a sky blue blanket along with her father as Y/N sat with two newborn kids, was written ‘picture-perfect’

She was glad she took up Lucas’s suggestion to visit her parents.

_______