#harrystylesblurb

With a quick hand, his toddler scooped up the powder; small flakes of powder falling onto the counter, leaving a trail as he moved it sifter that was sitting in the dry bowl.

They repeated the process with the powdered sugar; his son stirring the two together which landed in a coughing fit as the toddler got a little wild.

With a quick wash of the counter, Harry helped his son pour the egg, oil and vanilla extract into the coco powder and powdered sugar.

"We need to stir again. Careful, please. The more mixture in the bowl, the more brownies you'll have" Harry snickered, helping his son stir the ingredients together due to the batter being quite thick.

"Mummy like deese?" The little boy asked, trying his best not to spill as he combined the mixture; struggling.

"Mummy loves brownies. You and mummy both love chocolate, don't you" Harry brushed the hair off his sons forehead in an upward motion with the palm of his hand, placing a tender loving kiss on the exposed skin before letting the hair fall again; the little boy giggling.

"Chocolates yummy!" the boy giggled, Harry grabbing his baking pan. 

When he turned back around, the younger boy had his fingers in the batter, Harry rolling his eyes as he snuck up on the child, swiping his longer finger through the thick batter and booping his son's nose, listening the complaint followed by giggles as he licked his finger clean; the child wiping the substance off his skin, licking his hand.

"Caught you red handed, mister" Harry teased, running the washcloth over the boys hand and nose.

"What's dat mean?" The boy questioned, Harry grabbing a spatual.

"It means I caught you in the act of being naughty, you batter thief"

"Mummy steals batter!" the toddler defended himself, Harry chuckling with a nod.

"Mhm, you and your mummy are two peas in a bod, love. Alright, let's pour this into the pan. I'll hold it because it's heavy, you scoop it into here, okay?" Harry instructed, picking up the bowl, angling it so his son could scrap it out. "Get  as much as you can, then you can lick the spatula" Harry reminded his child; watching some of the batter hit the side of the pan, partly following on the counter. "In the bowl" He chuckled.

"All done!" The little one declared, Harry peeking at the inside of the bowl; nodding.

"Two swipes and that's it, okay?" Harry handed the batter bowl over, grabbing the pan to place it into the oven.

Four sneaky swipes of the batter latter, Harry and Y/N's toddler was sat at the counter, drawing on a folded piece of paper whilst Harry cleaned up the baking mess.

It was tradition that their son hand made the card up until he was over it; the memories it held was more important than anything a store bought card could say.

Before Harry started cleaning, he grabbed  a marker and asked what the young one wanted the card to say, reminding him that it was his mothers birthday.

With pencil, Harry wrote down the letters, letting Y/S/N trace them as best as he could with the marker.

Happy Birthday Mummy!

I love you so much!

Hope you like the brownies 

and gift!

love  Y/S/N 

followed by a sticker of a green monster at the end, colorful scribbles all over the blank paper; filling it up to his delight.

With the brownies out and cooling; Harry and the quite independents toddler got to wrapping the gifts.

He let his son mess with the wrapping paper, helping him where he needed it; which was everywhere, but Harry would never admit that. 

The wrinkled, crumbled, toddler attempted wrapping paper was just as good as a pristine crease cornered bow tied present. 

 On the table there was his wife's favorite flowers in a vase, adding more color to their daily lives; the wrapped presents laid next to it as Harry placed the homemade brownies in front; propping up the home made card.

A couple photos later of their only child and all the effort he put into his mothers birthday; his mum finally walked through the door; arriving home from her spa day.

"Happy birthday mummy!" Y/S/N yelled, running over to his mum, wrapping his arms around her legs, happily being scooped up by his mother; giggling as she kissed him all over.

"Thank you baby. Did you have a good day with daddy?" She asked, Harry smiling as the young one nodded. 

"We made brownies! See!" he pointed towards the table; Harry's cheeks hueing pink when he met his wife's gaze after she'd noticed the set up, a wide smile spreading across her face.

"You made be brownies?" she asked, her son nodding. "All by yourself?" 

"Daddy helped!"

"He did? Why aren't I so lucky! My boys made brownies! Are those gifts I see?" She pretended to peak, the toddler nodding with a grin, wiggling out of his mums grasp.

"I WRAPPED THEM!" He screamed, running over to the table, swiping it off and running back over to show her.

"You're so talented little one. It looks so good Y/S/N" She smiled, grinning as the little holes in the wrapping paper, appearing to be held together by tape.

Y/N and Y/S/N made their way over to the table, Harry greeting her with a side hug and a quick kiss, murmuring "Happy Birthday, love" against her lips; loving the way her eyes sparkled as she stared at hm.

"Thank you" She mouthed, listening to her toddler ramble about his day with his dad.

"Takeaway is on it's way" Harry informed her, scooping up their loud mouth toddler, attacking him with tickles, loving the way his talkative babble turned into screaming giggles.

"Should we open gifts now or after dinner?" Y/N asked, Harry setting the panting toddler back on the ground.

"NOW!" her offspring yelled, attempting to climb onto the table, Harry scooping him off with the dad look.

"It is my birthday" She hummed, watching the way her son's eyes lit up in hope; "I guess we can eat dessert first and open gifts whilst we wait for the takeaway to get here"

* * * * 

Written on: October 4th, 5th 2023

Published on: October 5th 2023

Word Count: 1780

“Gunna let me in sweetheart?” He asked, a tiny smirk appearing on her face as she went to shut the door in his face, Harry’s palm slapping the hard wooden door, stopping it. “You think you’re so cute” 

“Actually-”

“Shut up and kiss me or I’m getting back on that plane to London” He threatened, Y/N pulling him into her dorm, letting the door shut as their lips locked. “I’ve missed you baby”

Y/N showed Harry all her course work, Harry having asked how college was going, joking that he would’ve dropped out the second they said he would have to buy a $100 textbook.

“Okay Mr. Multimillionaire” She laughed, setting the textbook aside.

That evening they decided to be risky and slip out of the dorms, Harry having been craving Sushi, promising Y/N they’d stop at her favorite market on the way back.

Hand in hand they walked through campus, the sushi place being around the corner.

“Y/N?” A girl said, causing his girlfriend to turn and look, Harry following her lead. “You’re dating Harry Styles?” She asked, Y/N immediately freezing.

“Just hanging out. See you later Mimi” Y/N waved, tugging Harry away who was giggling to himself. “I swear I just watched you shit your pants”

“You’re the one who suggested we leave the safety of my dorm!” 

“Want to explore my beautiful girlfriend's campus. I haven’t been to college, you know? I mean, look at this place” He spoke in awe, tilting his head up as he looked around. “My girlfriend is so smart” He complimented, leaning over to kiss her cheek.

“Harry, we’re in public!” She gasped, shocked by his boldness.

She was surprised they were openly holding hands, and now he’s kissing her cheek? 

“And?”

“I don’t want to be on a tabloid looking like garbage!” she griped, already seeing people’s phones out.

“You don’t look like garbage babe” he reassured her, Y/N shaking her head, “I’m in BU sweatpants and your hoodie. I look like trash”

“We’re literally wearing the same thing”

~

“I don’t know how you eat that shit” She fake gagged, Harry fake a moan as he ate it, smirking at his girlfriend. “That’s disgusting”

“‘I’m so glad you love me so much babe” He teased, picking up a piece of sushi with his chopsticks, trying to force it into her mouth, Y/N’s lips in a thin line as she avoided the gross food, Harry’s grin turning into a laugh.

“You’re an asshole!” She pouted, Harry happily eating the sushi.

“Oh my god, are you Harry Styles?” A girl asked, stopping dead in her tracks by the table.

“I am, hello” He greeted her, setting the chopsticks down, the fan looking over at me, then back at Harry.

“Oh my god, Hi! I love your music! I’m seeing you next year” She exclaimed, a smile on her face.

“Awe, thank you love! Can’t wait to see you. Are you coming to the Boston show?” he asked, the girl nodding.

“I spent my life savings on it, it was worth it!” She giggled, Y/N stealing pieces of rice off Harry’s plate, Harry noticing out of the corner of his eye.

Y/N took the fan’s photo before the fan left them alone.

📍Boston, Massachusetts 

kristina_Heavens: Just met @harrystyles on my BU Campus, what is happening!! 

“Sorry baby” he apologized, turning his plate towards, Y/N, silently offering her his rice.

“S’fine, let me know if you want a box” She murmured, leaning back in her chair, pulling out her phone and subconsciously checking her timeline.

📍Boston, University 

Alyssamorelli: No fucking way is @harrystyles on my fucking campus right now

Y/N quietly sighed, shutting off her phone.

Harry knew that sigh.

“What’s wrong love?”

“We’re all over my friends' Instagram feeds” She mumbled, pinching some of the rice between her fingers, dropping it into her mouth.

“And that’s a problem, why?” He asked, plopping the last piece of sushi into his mouth, his eyes watching her subtle movements.

“It’s not a problem per se.. Just… nervous people will change around me, you know? I like being a loner. It makes skimming by easier” She confessed, Harry letting out a light chuckle.

“Next time I’ll hire an FX artist and transform myself. Show up to your dorm as an old man, big bushy beard, the whole nine yards” he grinned, Y/N smiling, shaking her head.

She gave her student ID to the woman at the counter, getting a discount on the meal, the two of them thanking her and heading out.

That night Y/N cuddled up into Harry’s chest, her laptop playing a Netflix show they had chosen to watch together as she skimmed through her math assignment, anxiously waiting for her roommate to get back.

Before she knew it, Harry had fallen asleep next to her, his arm draped over her lap as she hunched forward, pausing the show only to hear her door open, Freya walking in, her arms full of books.

Freya’s eyes widened, almost dropping her books before whisper yelling “You didn’t tell me he was coming!” to which Y/N whisper yelled “I didn’t know!” 

Y/N proceeded to quietly explain the situation, her roommate dropping all their books onto their bed, falling into their nightly routine as if Harry wasn’t even there.

The next morning Y/N and Harry went out to breakfast together off of campus, going on a mini exploration date; Harry commenting how much he loved Boston’s weather this time of year.

“I thought you were a London boy?” She teased, their hands intertwined as they walked along the sidewalk.

“London is nice in portions” he began to explain, turning to look at his beautiful girlfriend. 

How did he get so lucky?

“In portions?” She laughed, his lips tugging up into a smile, “You told me you loved it there! Now it’s only good in portions?” She giggled.

“It depends if you’re in the mood for the weather it brings, I guess. Plus, it’s busy and uh, being famous.. Can’t really sneak around as much there”

“Are you ever going to bring me?” She joked, Harry’s been hounding her for months, but with her school and work schedule she can’t seem to find any time to free herself from BU’s Campus.

“Don’t even start!” His voice raised, giving her a playful look.

“Oh come on H! Wanna meet your mum” She mocked his accent, Harry faking offense.

“Bloody American you are”

Y/N rolled her eyes, tugging Harry along with her into a shop, promising herself to not buy anymore trinkets, but that didn’t mean Harry wasn’t ready to open up his wallet, finding a magnitude of gifts for his family.

Their last day together was bittersweet, but also welcomed.

Y/N hated leaving him, but she also loved when he came back to surprise her. It gave her something to look forward to each day.

“I’m sorry people took photos of you” Harry murmured into her neck, placing a soft kiss against her skin, Y/N’s arms clinging onto his back.

“It’s alright” She sighed, Harry placing kisses up her jaw to her cheek before letting hips lips linger against her own.

“I’m going to miss you bubs” He frowned slightly at her, Y/N shaking her head.

“Just a phone call away, remember? Plus, I like when you surprise me, you know that” She grinned, Harry nodding, kissing her once more.

“I’m sorry I could only stay for two days-”

“Hey, no. Stop. It’s alright. Two days is better than no days. I’m happy I got to see you at all” She quickly reassured him, her hands reaching for his face, cradling his cheeks between her palms.

“You’re still going to try and come to a show, right?” He asked, Y/N nodding. 

“I really want to. Who knows, maybe I’ll ditch for you” She grinned, Harry’s smirk beginning to show. “It’s just hard since I’m almost graduated. I’ve got so much to do” She pouted, her hands falling down to his waist as Harry’s hands slid around to her ass, resting his hands as he kissed her again.

“Well, I can wait to be there when you get your degree, and I’m sure one of the guys will FaceTime you again if you can’t make it. I know how important graduating with honors is to you, little miss, I want to be the valedictorian”

“Hey! I’m working my ass off! Might as well have something to show for it!” She swatted his arm, harry’s hands moving to her waist, tugging her closer.

“Your master’s isn’t good enough?” he teased, Y/N rolling her eyes.

“Leave me alone Mr. This song is amazing but doesn’t fit the album. Release Singles! You can put things out that aren’t on an album Harry!” She began to argue, one they’ve had a plethora of times, neither one budging.

They playfully argued for a moment before Harry just leaned down and kissed her, knowing it worked every time, unless she truly was pissed, then he was opening a whole new door in satan’s layer.

“I’ve got to get going baby” He reminded her, sadness washing over Y/N again. “I’ve placed my recent hoodie on your bed and yours is in my bag” He reminded her, the ritual becoming a piece of mind for the both of them.

“I still can’t believe it fits you, and you wear it” She snickered, her hands playing with his hair.

“You buy hoodies in my size” he reminded her, chuckling.

“They’re comfy!”

“I know love, why I buy ‘em” 

“Shut up and get out before Jeffery sends a search warrant!” She playfully shoved him towards the door, Harry letting out a crackle.

“I love you too” he teased, his girlfriend grinning.

“I love you more, go be Harry Styles, kay?” 

“As long as I get to come home and be Harry for you”

Y/N nodded, her eyes beginning to sting, knowing he was about to walk out the door and she wouldn’t see him until god knows when.

With one more hug and kiss, the two separated and Harry signed out on the dorm sheet, wishing Y/N’s RA a good evening, repeating his route back to the airport, ready to go take off his BU hoodie and sweatpants, and put on his dazzling suit patterns, perfected hair and impeccable charm, praying that his visit on campus didn’t rise any havoc in his girlfriend’s life.

He was perfectly fine playing the role of Harry Styles, if that meant he got to still be Harry at the end of the day, snuggled up in bed on FaceTime with his girlfriend.

He didn’t know how he got so lucky finding the most incredibly beautiful, smart, ambitious, and extremely understanding girl.

"Wembley! This is my son, he's learned to crawl" Harry laughed, kissing his son's cheek again. "Where's mummy?" He questioned, walking over to where his wife normally was. "Did mummy abandon you? Where's your mum? Y/N?" Harry spoke into the mic, confused. "I guess we do have a guest, I don't know where your mum went" Harry hummed, bouncing his son a little.

"I guess we're having an intermission" Harry spoke in a baby voice, his son wiggling out of his hold. "They weren't kidding when they said once they learn to move, it's all they want to do!" Harry told the crowd, keeping an eye on his son who was crawling across the stage towards Mitch. "I guess I'm to blame for this one" Harry chuckled, "During sound check I sort of uh.. encouraged this earlier. Ya know? When it was safer… — has anyone located my wife?" Harry questioned again, eyeing towards his manager.

On the big screen showed Harry's 1 year old son messing with Mitche's shoelaces, Mitch wiggling his foot which was frustrating the baby,

Harry covered the mic with his hand, moving it away from him; his back to the crowd as he called for his son, gaining the baby's attention.

Harry and Y/N had decided to keep his name a secret, but the baby quickly turned around at his name, a grin on his face, ignoring whatever Harry had said which ended in Harry walking over and picking him up.

"Terrible twos came early" Harry muttered in the mic, the crowd laughing.

"I guess I'll be sitting down with my little love for this next one! If anyone has located my wife, let me know!" He announced, carefully sitting down on the stage, his son now in his lap, fascinated by the corded mic.

As Harry sang Matilda, he kept looking down at his son, not being able to hold back his smile.

This was home.

Harry was informed once the song was done that Y/N had been located, tsking his wife as she climbed the steps.

"Want to tell the arena where you were off to?" Harry spoke in a fake parental tone which made his wife grin.

"I had to go to the loo! Jeff was babysitting!" She defended, grabbing her baby from her husband.

"So it was Jeff's fault! Typical" He tsked, chuckling, removing the mic and leaning in, whispering in Y/N's ear before covering their faces and then kissing his son, waving bye bye.

Unbroken masterlist

Read on Wattpad

Demi Lovato & Nick Jonas (Nemi)

Ten Little Toes

Summery Being 26 and raising a two year old isn't a simple task. Taking it one day at a time and loving her world more then life itself, Her son was all she thought she wanted. Not wanting to deal with heartbreak like her baby daddy gave her, she swore off all men.. that was until she met a handsome brown eyed man who slowly stole not only her heart, but her sons.  Bet My Heart - sequel - includes smut 

Read on Wattpad

Demi Lovato

Life as a secret - Lesbian Book - includes smut

Summery Spencer Lowe, just another girl on the streets. Demi Lovato, just another popstar on a stage. Demi has a secret no one but her family and Joe Jonas know, Spencer has a secret that no one but herself knows, both will shock the people around them. Is this gonna ruin their lives, or make each other stronger? There is only one way to find out if this will make or break them. Read 'Life as a Secret' to find out  Warning: I wrote this when I was like 13...^

Read on Wattpad

The Surrogate 

Summery Everyone knows Nick and Demi are best friends, but when Nick and his long time girlfriend Olivia Culpo got married, they wanted to have a baby but learned because of everything Olivia had to do for her beauty pageants, her body couldn't handle carrying a baby, so they decided to ask if Demi, Nicks closest friend who he considers a sister if she would do it. Will Demi end up carrying their baby? What will her husband Wilmer think of this idea? Will Nick and Olivia finally have a baby? or will they have to go a different route? Warning: This was archived. I want to rewrite it...

Read on Wattpad

Demi’s Miracle (Lowkey nemi) I think these include smut? Idk I wrote them years ago

Summery *NOT EDITED!* Demi Lovato decides she wants to adopt a child. But work can get in the way. Her manager doesn't think it is a good idea... but Demi wants to prove him wrong. Will Demi have her Miracle child, or will work get to much to handle? ******************************************************* Juniper, a 7 year old little girl, ends up in a foster care because of her past. One day, it all gets to much and she finds her hands on something she shouldn't have. Only to have Demi Lovato find her to stop her? Is Demi her miracle? Or will everything come crashing down once again on this little girl? Warning: this series is one of the first things I’ve wrote. It’s so old... so go in knowing that lol Sequels: Demi’s Warrior, Demi’s Skyscraper, Demi’s Happily Ever After

Read on Wattpad

Road Trip With The Enemy - Discontinued - Lesbian book

Summery Winning a Road Trip with Demi sounds like an absolute dream, right? Wrong. At least for Roslyn who hates the Sorry Not Sorry Singer. Now you might be asking yourself.. "Why would she sign up for something, if she doesn't like them?" and to answer your question, she didn't. Her friend did. Will winning this road trip across the country with Demi change her mind about the popstar? or will she only learn to loathe her even more? Warning: I lost interest in the storyline and am no longer working on. I like the idea though, so I’ve kept it up

Read on Wattpad

Two Can Play - discontinued - Lesbian Book 

Summery Demi Lovato was an American singer who made her household name after her Role on Camp Rock. Touring all around the world for 9 years was stressful and tiring, but made her dreams come true. During her World Tour for her new album "Tell Me You Love Me", she had a stopped in Missouri where she met a girl named River. River had a very messy past that landed her in jail for a few years. One thing about her is, she always looked out for her little sister and wanted nothing but the best for her. Promising her younger sister to take her to a Demi concert when she got out. She thought she would leave the mess in the past, and become a better example for her sister.. that was until River met Demi.

Read on Wattpad 

Imagine Books

Demi Lovato Lesbian Imagines (2 books) - includes smut

Read book one

Read book two

Harry Styles Imagines - almost on my Tumblr 

Colby Brock Imagines - also on my tumblr - includes smut 

In The Works aka not out yet

Harry Styles fanfic 

“Do you know what time it is?”, Harry asked, without looking up from his phone as Lilith entered the house. It wasn’t like Harry was waiting up for her. He didn’t even know that she was out. He just happened to be there when Lilith entered the house. He hadn’t even lifted his head to see which one of the pack was standing there, but as soon as he raised his head up, his neutral face fell to a scowl.

“Ten past one. I know well.”, she said tiredly, not having any energy to fight back with her father. “Then where the hell were you at? That too at this late in the night?”, he raised his voice slightly. Lilith looked at him through droopy eyes, throwing the phone on the couch. “There is the phone. Save the lecture. You can think I was at a party or anything that soothes you. I will just ground myself for the next week, month, or year… whatever suits you”, Lilith shrugged, taking tired steps towards the stairs.

Only if it had been someone like Eric or Erica, everything would have ended with ‘alright but beware next time.’

“No young woman, you aren’t going anywhere till you tell me where you were”, Harry didn’t really want to know where she was or what she was doing. He just wanted to see his offspring think that he could get quite scary when rules aren’t followed.

“In a library”, she curtly answered.

“And which library opens till 1 in the morning?”, Harry raised a slight brow.

“I don’t know, search on google”, Lilith shrugged.

“Young lady, you don’t give me that attitude”, he looked at her, giving angry eyes that she was used to by this point.

“If you don’t want this attitude, better let me go and talk in the morning. It’s just going to give you and me a headache and the house a sleepless night.”, she closed her eyes momentarily, pressing against the bridge of her nose.

Harry sighed. “Alright, but we aren’t done”, he spoke.

Lilith nodded and went upstairs, to her room. She knew Eric’s and Erica’s rooms, a little steps away from her must be empty. She saw both of them walk into Derek’s house after all.

Derek was a happy part of her life once he wasn’t. Now he just called her to show off his girlfriend and kiss her passionately. The thin strand of silk that bound their friendship was now completely snapped once his girlfriend asked him to choose either Lilith or her. Needless to say, blinded by lust, he let Lilith go. Lilith was just empty now. Her chest was void.

She just briefly closed her eyes, falling over her bed in the same sage green cardigan and black jeans, taking no time to change. But the next time she opened her eyes it was 7.34 AM.

She groaned internally, having to chug down the want to hole up under her blanket and disappear into thin air. Sometimes, she felt like she wasn’t supposed to be born.

As she walked down, no one except Harry and Y/N was present in the kitchen. She stood from afar and observed her parents. Her father had his head rested on her shoulders, holding her from back and humming some melody in her ear. Her mother just smiled.

When was the last time she smiled?

Feeling weak in her limbs, Lilith tried to walk forward, only to stumble on her way, startling both of her parents when they saw her trying to stand back up; none of them came forward to lend a hand.

“Morning”, Lilith rasped, grabbing a glass of water, bringing it up to her lips, gulping it down in one go.

“Lili”, her mother called out and she looked up, “your father said that you were home late last night and you were awfully rude to your father?”, Y/N started, Lilith just wanted to hurry back into her room. A grounding would just help her cause. “I was tired”, Lilith weakly mumbled. “That’s no reason to talk to your father the way you did”, Y/N frowned. “Just jump straight to the torture”, Lilith mumbled, feeling irritation bubble up from her lungs. “Do you understand the depth of your actions, Lili?”, her mother scowled a little, so she decided to give the only correct answer, “Yeah”, although her lips said so, her eyes were distant, emotionless, reflecting Harry’s eyes to her all through her life. Y/N didn’t know what to do anymore. “Your phone is confiscated. You are grounded for a week”, Y/N muttered. “It’s not like I had anything important or any plans anyways”, Lilith shrugged. She didn’t really have friends so she didn’t think anyone would text or call to check up on her. “Also your video games…”, Harry added and Y/N looked at him, a little surprised. “I’m not the other children. I don’t play video games”, Lilith muttered, standing across, leaning on the kitchen door. Harry’s illuminating face dropped a little dissatisfied with the reply.

“I will be upstairs if you need anything, though I am sure you won’t need me”, Lilith muttered the last part out of earshot.

Under her blanket, Lilith stared at the blank wall. There used to be trophies and medals hung up on the wall, Lilith just took them all down. They were of no use. The mathlete certificates and awards were also put in a cardboard box under her bed. They were of no use too. The science projects, music projects, dance recitals, none of them were of any use.

They didn’t attract Harry’s apprehensive nod that he gives always to Eric or those sweet kisses on the forehead that were reserved for Erica. They didn’t attract the weekend off that was meant for Jake and Stella. Where did it all go wrong? What was her fault?

Maybe it was the only person that made her feel important who threw her out of his life, or her dad’s impeccable want to feel her terrorized by his angry stance, but it was reeling her back into her childhood. On sports day, the children’s parents would compete for their children, with their children; her dad was nowhere to be seen and her mom was heavily pregnant. So, she just sat down by the line and watched others have fun. Before her football matches, her parents were busy with one kid or the other, so she practiced by herself; throwing the ball to one end and running to the end to kick it some more. Her first singing competition and she saw Harry looking down on his phone annoyed, distracted, missing her whole performance. On her eighth birthday, none of her friends remembered; and her parents were busy nursing Jake and Stella. She felt stupid and dumb. She thought it must be the wrong date, but when she looked at the calendar, she broke down into sobs. It was the right date. That was the night she came to a realization, she was always alone, no matter what.

The twins were early to catch up to her age and while they did make her feel at ease, the twins were so close to each other, Lilith felt like she was always at the wrong timing. Jake and Stella were close too.

Where did she stand all this time?

The sun rose to head at noon and set in the evening, no one called her for lunch or dinner. The twins were sure to have had a hangover; the kids, well, who knows? Whatever it was, she knew she didn’t belong.

Monday. Everyone looked happy, like a picture-perfect family. Jake and Stella were on their high chairs, talking to each other, god-knows-what, and Eric and Erica were talking with their father about something important. Their mom was happily humming flipping the pancakes and swaying her hips with the song. If there was one dust on this picture-perfect timing, it would be Lilith. So she stealthily walked back to her room and got her polaroid. Maybe, at least Harry would smile looking at the picture? Staying behind the railing, she captured the happy moment of the family. It had a smiling Harry, laughing at something Y/N said as she served the plates. Eric and Erica were sharing laughs as well. Y/N was trying to conceal her smile and Jake and Stella, not understanding anything, continued babbling to each other.

The only thing that could spoil this picture was her presence. Everyone would shut down immediately on seeing her, and begin smiling again when she was absent. She felt like she was in school, living with people.

She didn’t want to be the one to spoil it, so she walked back into her room and grabbed some protein bars from her desk. She packed her school bag and walked away for school, nibbling on to the chocolate bar. She haven’t had actual food in so long, but there was only so much in her want or reach.

_____________________________________________

There was a supposed family dinner that night, and everyone was excited. Everyone except Lilith. She assumed everyone had already forgotten her forlorn, gloomy presence in the house. But just then Y/N barged into Lilith’s room, seeing the eldest at her study desk, studying her afternoon away. “We’re going for a family dinner, so put on some nice clothes”, Y/N said in a hurried voice. “Your and my definitions of nice clothes are different, just pick out one”, Lilith spoke removing her glasses and looking at her mother. Y/N all but sighed as she went to the 17-year-old’s closet. There was no dress, frock, or anything wearable according to Y/N. “We don’t even have time to go shopping”, Y/N groaned throwing her head back. Lilith sighed. “I’ll just put on what I wear every year so no one will notice me no matter what”, Lilith muttered, as Y/N sighed.

A black T-shirt and black jeans, always made her invisible, adding to the darkness of her smile or her mind. Her green eyes, a gift from Harry, would roam around, seeing everyone else, but never giving herself away.

“The kids are growing so fast, aren’t they? It was like yesterday when Lili, Eric, and Erica were just toddlers”, Gemma gushed, and that was supposed to be the only time her name was mentioned. “Eric and Erica are growing glamorously. They are so humble and talented.”, Harry smiled proudly at his babies. “What about Lilith?”, Gemma asked. “Well her, well-- I don’t know. She just doesn’t fit right into the picture”, Harry replied, as if he didn’t know that the eldest sibling was six feet away from him, head hung low, fingers fiddling with each other. She took the darkest corner; she took the darkest light.

“Harry? Y/N?”, Anne asked concerned, looking at Lilith’s already shrunken face. Lilith didn’t open her mouth, wanting to know actually what was her fault that everyone seemed to put her away from their life. “I mean, she has gotten a bit bitter; never talking to us the correct way and stuff”, Harry replied while Y/N pursed her lips.

If she was of no use, what was the reason to pretend?

The dinner was silent. Lilith’s presence was like a ghost; unnoticed.

That night when they reached back, she knew, she would change.

__________________________________________________________

Tuesday dinner. Everyone had something important to share.

“I’m so proud of you, Erica”, Harry says when she completes saying how she became the cheerleader captain. Eric said something about helping a guy out with his project. Jake and Stella babbled about drawing something. When everyone’s story ended, there was little to no chance anyone would ask Lilith about her day. But Y/N did notice the obnoxiously quiet girl. “So Lilith, how was your day?”, Y/N asked. It would be pretty dumb to reply if no one would listen, especially since Harry and Eric were in a serious conversation. So She shrugged. “Nothing new. Smoked pot and had a threesome”, Lilith’s words caused a whiplash of heads. Harry’s head was the fastest. Erica tried to confine her amused smile and Eric was downright shocked. Y/N looked like she saw a ghost, the kids not understanding anything. “Just kidding. It was the same boring day, with boring lectures and angsty teachers”, Lilith slyly smiled as everyone let out a silent breath of relief. “I was seriously kidding”, she repeated aloud. “Or am I?”, that caused the second whiplash of heads. Lilith left them all perplexed.

_______________________________________________________________

Wednesday. A birthday. Her birthday. As usual, she anticipated no text, call, or presents. The breakfast table was impregnated with silence, because of Lilith’s obvious words. Lilith avoided everyone that day. No one questioned her.

_______________________________________________________________

Thursday. Lilith had to babysit her youngest siblings. Eric and Erica had willingly joined, sitting on to watch a movie. Alice in Wonderland played in the background. Harry was ecstatic to see his children bonding well.

He doubted Lilith ever loved the family as the other kids did. When he passed by her room, although he knew he shouldn’t, he welcomed himself in the spotless room. There lay a bunch of papers on the top of her desk, which he assumed was an assignment. The topic was “Parents and Teenagers”.

Eagerly, Harry flipped through the pages, enamored by the writing, by the way the words were put together. When he was nearing the end of the essay, he felt his lips droop down.

“... There is not much difference between how teenagers view the world and how parents view the world; each has their own opinion, own paints to brush the world with. When the parents heal and brush the world a bright color of yellow, the teenager could be in a dark place and paint the world black, to shut out light, to shut out noises. Even though the parents seemed to have passed this phase in a different light, the teenagers might worry about things that might not make sense to the older parents. A teenager can be depressed about their parents not loving them as much as their siblings, and a teenager can be worried about their parents loving them as if they’re an only child. However, the thought processes are different in each case. In the first case, it is obvious that the reason is wanted attention. In the second case, however, it could be the fear of resentment from the other siblings or in really dark vessels, the fear could be of causing grief to their parents when they are in the darkest corners of their lives. However, what they feel is real. People can only love as much as the amount of blood pumped by the heart, but to love beyond that, is what a parent is capable of. However, it’s a choice. Sometimes, the choice is difficult; and sometimes the choice just comes.

Movies and books should stop criticizing teenagers for the way they feel, when parents, the adults, don’t feel shame in abandoning children even if they are completely capable, refusing to heal, and passing on their demons to their kids. A gift is a gift, whether good or bad. If the good ones can be accepted with a smile, let the bad ones sink in too. The codes in DNA are already wired from the ancestors. It won’t be one's religion, color, race, or gender that decided one's action, but the way one received the code of genetics; the way one decided to get rid of the bad weeds and kept the good ones to be passed on. Therefore, if it's a defective piece you see, try to find their use rather than throwing them away. The world is getting filled with unnecessary junk anyways”

It was the first Harry had taken an insight into her thoughts. He saw a scribbly red A+ at the corner of the page. It fucking deserved that.

Harry placed the bunch where it was and took a look around. It looked awfully empty. Harry felt an icy foot of dragonfly settle in his chest, a ghost of realization hovering over him, of what he was losing certainly.

He walked back to the kitchen, where his woman was laying plates for dinner.

“Dad is really the best, isn’t he? Like he is always there to help me with projects and games. He has been so supportive of my decisions, you know?”, it was unmistakably Eric’s voice, and Harry smiled, eavesdropping a little more on his children’s conversation.

“I know right. Like he is the coolest father”, Erica gushed. “He reads us bedtime stories!”, Jake squeaked. “Plays dolls too”, Stella squeaked standing beside Jake. “Lilith… what about you?”, Erica asked the girl whose eyes were trained on the television.

“What?”, Lilith asked. “Whom do you like more? Mom or dad?”, Eric repeated Jake’s question. “The correct answer is both of them”, Lilith muttered. Harry’s brows furrowed. “We’re asking you your honest answer not the correct answer”, Erica rolled her eyes. There was a fleeting moment of silence before Lilith replied, “Neither of them”

There was some more silence. “W-Why’d you think that?”, Eric asked. The conversation had started with Stella’s homework about writing an essay about their father. “He’s in games and performances, for you guys, not mine. He helped you out for your basketball practice, not me for my football ones. He helped you out for your chemistry exam, not my music exam. He held your hand till you were completely seated in your kindergarten for two whole months, for me, he left as soon as he could as if I suffocate him. Forehead kisses, gentle touches when you got hurt were reserved for you, for me it was the cold eyes and distant look. And mom, well, she made up excuses for him. He was busy. He was busy playing with you. He was tired. He was tired after playing with you. Every time I thought it was supposed to be just that way. You guys came along and he was a different father. Mom, even if she knew that dad didn’t quite like me, she left him to care for me. As if she looked for an escape too. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if he got up one day and said, I don’t want to be around you and disown me”, Lilith spoke her heart for the first time.

“And”, she continued, “Yesterday was my last birthday in this house. Can’t remember the last time anyone from my family wished me”

Harry’s heart completely shattered at the last statement. How could he forget? More likely how did he not notice?

“You know that they love you, right?”, Eric said, hesitantly.

“There is a difference between ‘supposed to love’ and ‘loving as much as the other children’. I know they are forcing themselves to love me because they aren’t supposed to have any other feeling other than love for their child. But their love for me won’t ever reach the height of the love they have for you guys.”, Lilith replied.

Y/N stepped up the stairs cheerily to call out for her happy family to have the last meal of the day, however seeing Harry on edge, Y/N’s smile disappeared.

She startled him to an extent where he slightly flinched at her touch. Not knowing what's going on, Y/N presses her ears against the wall, to pick up the conversations. “Yo--You know that they don’t hate you, right? They are the best parents in the world”, Erica asked, her voice quivering, not wanting to see this side of her parents. “I never said they were bad parents. They were just never supposed to be mine”, Lilith spoke, unapologetically, shocking everyone hearing on the conversation. “Yesterday was her birthday”, Harry murmured, looking at Y/N’s shattered face. She had tried hard to put past every negative feeling and be a good mother to Lilith. But, she failed terribly. “I would rather have them hate me. It’d be easier to accept their actions, rather than thinking that they loved me to such an extent that it got excessive and they couldn’t handle it. I don’t want my only definition of love to be ignorance and neglect. It won’t be fair, after all these years”, Lilith sighed. Y/N’s heart crumbled apart as she knocked softly at the door, the eyes on her. “Dinner’s ready”, it was as if she provided them with water while they were parching. Everyone was quick to leave.

That’s why Lilith hated to open up. No one could ever handle the bitter truth.

Lilith walked past her parents, no emotions in her eyes.

Given that Lilith was actually Harry's ex's child, who couldn't support the upbringing, Y/N was slightly jealous and Lilith stayed as the reminder of that jealousy. For Harry, she remained a constant reminder of the rough phases between him and Y/N. They never saw how bitter they went against her.

The dinner table was heavy. Jake and Stella didn’t know what was going on, but they thought it would be better just to be quiet. Harry cleared his throat. “So, Lilith, I remember you doing football, how’s it going?”, Harry tried to act nonchalant. But Lilith knew he knew. Lilith knew he overheard. Because if he didn't, he wouldn't remember. So she didn’t bother covering up her greens. “I stopped playing years ago”, she replied. “Why?”, Harry choked out. “Because people who were supposed to love me decided not to show up at a single game. And at last, it proved to be of no use.”, Lilith said, her snake green eyes choking everyone in the room. Harry didn’t lie when he said he remembered. He vaguely remembered the coach calling him to just say how good Lilith played and could represent the school in Nationals or Internationals even, only if she continued. He was disinterested and forced a clipped smile. Little Lilith’s heart fell and she left the team days after.

“So, what do you like nowadays?”, Y/N asked, trying to take matters forward, since she was the one who major fucked up!

“Nothing and No one.”, she shrugged.

Harry and Y/N sat defeated. “Dude, they are trying to talk to you, don’t be hard to get to!”, Erica rolled her eyes.

“Sorry that I’m not high so I can’t take a freaking conversation well.”, Lilith scoffed. Gasps fell from lips. It was an obvious lie, but the lack of humor at the dining table didn’t help factors. “It’s just less than a month. I will be out of your hair, so leave me out of your business”, Lilith said, feeding as little as she could, and got up to her room.

Harry touched the smooth picture he had found on Lilith’s table, with a small ‘picture perfect’ written under the polaroid; one where his family was happy; where he had a happy family, only that picture lacked one person, one person that never thought was deserving to be in that picture. He wasn’t aware when the picture was taken. He didn’t know why she took it. But it stung like a thousand wasps were feeding on his cut.

He felt fucking pathetic.

He remembers a few lines from her essay that he had read earlier. “Sometimes, people act like they love the other person in the row more than the person next to them. To teenagers, it's a replaceable lover. To parents, it's an irreplaceable child. But the effects sting just the same. This process just reveals the insecurity of people; they think that by making one jealous, they can make the bond stronger. Only this bond strengthens the bond as much as it weakens it.”

Perfect smiles don’t make a picture-perfect family. Shared secrets and tears do so too. But he failed a little too much in seeing both the tears and smiles.

_____