Best friends. A fake relationship. One weekend in Edinburgh—and maybe a shot at something real.
Author's note: This is a repost of the original story I first shared on Patreon. I’ve done a bit of light editing throughout—tightening up the prose, tweaking a few lines, and adding in some original text that was previously only on Patreon (including a few extended moments I really loved). Thank you so much for reading (or re-reading!)—your support means the world. I hope you enjoy this version just as much, if not more. 🤍
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The soft hum of the evening surrounded them as they sat on Harry’s plush couch, nestled in the heart of his spacious home. The minimalist decor of his living room reflected the careful balance between his hectic life in the spotlight and his need for peace. His house, though large, was warm, with low lighting that gave it a cozy, intimate feel. The air was thick with the scent of the coffee table candles he’d lit earlier—notes of sandalwood and something sweet.
Harry sat next to Y/N, his body half-turned toward her as he read a book, legs tucked beneath him like a cat seeking comfort. There was a distinct softness about him when he was in his own space, away from the flashing cameras and curious eyes of the public. His hair, dark and messy, tumbled over his forehead, catching in the dim light, giving him a boyish charm that contrasted sharply with his usual confident and polished public persona.
He wore a simple white t-shirt, the fabric clinging loosely to his lean frame. His broad shoulders spoke of strength, but his posture, slightly hunched as he leaned into his book, gave off an air of vulnerability. His long fingers traced the edges of the pages absentmindedly, and now and then, his green eyes flicked up from the book, studying Y/N with a kind of quiet amusement, like he was aware of the unspoken understanding that lay between them.
Harry had always been attentive, almost in a way that felt second nature, as though he knew more about her moods than she did. There was something undeniably magnetic about him—his laugh was a little softer here, his voice a touch lower. His fame could never overshadow the gentle heart he showed her when they were alone.
Y/N’s eyes hovered over the same paragraph for what felt like the hundredth time. The words blurred together, the meaning lost as her mind wandered to the man sitting beside her. She was supposed to be reading a novel on leadership—something meant to inspire her as she navigated her demanding corporate job—but her thoughts kept drifting back to him. It was ironic, really. The book talked about control and decisiveness, yet here she was, lost in the one thing she couldn’t control: her feelings for Harry.
She had always found him attractive. No—more than attractive. Beautiful in the kind of way that felt effortless. His messy hair, the way his lips quirked into a half-smile, those green eyes that seemed to see straight through her… It all added up to someone she could never quite believe was real. He’d always been larger than life to her, even before the fame. Back when they were younger, when they were just two young adults with dreams and no idea where life would take them.
But then, his life had soared into stardom, and hers had stayed grounded in the corporate world. He became Harry Styles—the Harry Styles—and she remained his best friend, hidden away from the glamour of his world. She had watched as women swooned over him, throwing themselves at his feet, and she had silently swallowed her feelings. She knew she could never compete. He was out of her league, in every possible way.
And yet, sitting here next to him, as close as they were, it was impossible not to be reminded of just how deep her feelings for him ran. His presence had always had this effect on her, an electric undercurrent that made her skin tingle and her heart pound just a little harder. She stole a glance at him over the top of her book. He was engrossed in whatever he was reading, completely unaware of the thoughts swirling in her mind.
That’s what made it all so painful—he would never see her that way. She was just Y/N, his best mate, his confidant. The one person who was always there, but never the one he looked at with desire. She felt a knot tighten in her chest as she allowed herself, for just a moment, to imagine what it would be like if things were different. If she were someone else. If he saw her the way she saw him.
As if sensing her gaze, Harry suddenly looked up, catching her in the act. His lips twitched into a small, knowing smile, and he set his book down on the coffee table.
“What’s going on in that head of yours?” he asked, his voice low, breaking the silence between them. His eyes locked onto hers, and the way he studied her made her feel exposed, as though he could read her thoughts without her saying a word. “You’ve been staring at that same page for ages.”
Y/N quickly dropped her gaze, closing the book to avoid his probing eyes. “It’s nothing,” she mumbled, though the heat rising to her cheeks gave her away.
He tilted his head, not buying it for a second. “Come on,” he coaxed, a teasing edge to his voice. “Spill it. I know you. You’ve got that look.”
She shifted uncomfortably, trying to laugh it off. “What look?”
“The one where you’re overthinking everything,” he said, leaning back against the couch, still watching her closely. His gaze softened. “Talk to me, Y/N. What’s going on?”
Y/N’s breath hitched in her throat as Harry’s green eyes bore into hers, his expression filled with gentle concern. She had always struggled to lie to him. Whenever he looked at her like that, like he truly cared, she felt like he could see right through her. The panic rose quickly, threatening to bubble over, and she knew she had to say something—anything—to steer the conversation away from the thoughts that were tangled up in her mind.
She blurted out the first thing that came to her. “My cousin’s getting married.”
Harry raised an eyebrow, clearly taken aback by the abrupt change of subject. “Which cousin?”
Y/N let out a long sigh, glad for the distraction, though the topic she’d chosen wasn’t much better. “The worst one. Out of the three, I mean. You know, the one who’s always got something to say about everything. Perfect life, perfect fiancé, perfect job… perfect everything.”
Harry’s expression softened into one of amused sympathy. He knew exactly the kind of family pressure Y/N was talking about. He stretched out his legs, making himself more comfortable, as if settling in for a story. “Ah, her. That sounds like fun,” he teased, his voice laced with sarcasm.
Y/N rolled her eyes, tucking her legs beneath her as she faced him. “It’s not just her. It’s the whole family. They’re all so excited, and for some reason, they’re all hell-bent on me bringing a date.” She threw her hands up in frustration. “I don’t even have a boyfriend, but everyone keeps asking if I’m bringing someone. They’re already assuming I’m going to show up with a ‘plus one,’ and I just… I don’t want to deal with the humiliation of telling them I’m still single. Again.”
Harry’s brow furrowed slightly as he listened, a small frown tugging at his lips. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees as he looked at her thoughtfully. “Y/N, you don’t owe anyone an explanation. If you don’t want to bring someone, then don’t. Your family’s expectations shouldn’t dictate your happiness.”
Y/N smiled weakly, appreciating the sentiment, but her heart was still heavy with the weight of the situation. “I know, but it’s just… hard. It’s like they see me as incomplete because I don’t have someone.” She let out a bitter laugh. “They don’t understand that I’m happy with my life. But at a wedding, it’s like a flashing neon sign that I’m alone.”
Y/N smiled weakly, appreciating the sentiment, but her heart was still heavy with the weight of the situation. “I know, but it’s just… hard. It’s like they see me as incomplete because I don’t have someone.” She let out a bitter laugh. “They don’t understand that I’m happy with my life. But at a wedding, it’s like a flashing neon sign that I’m alone.”
The room fell silent for a moment as Harry absorbed her words, his gaze softening even further. He opened his mouth, about to say something, but then paused, seemingly deep in thought.
Y/N bit her lip, realizing she was rambling, but it was easier to talk about this than the real issue she was trying to avoid. And with Harry sitting so close, his concern for her so palpable, it made her feel even more off-balance. Every time he cared, every time he listened so intently, it reminded her of how much she longed for something more than just friendship.
But that wasn’t an option. Not with him. So, she buried it all under the wedding invitation and the pressures from her family, hoping it would be enough to keep him from asking more.
Harry studied her for a long moment, eyes searching her face like he could sense there was something more she wasn’t saying. He tilted his head slightly, lips pressing together in that way he always did when he was thinking hard.
“Is that really why you’re freaking out?” he asked gently, his voice laced with quiet skepticism.
Y/N felt her stomach twist, the question catching her off guard. She hated how easily he could see through her, but she wasn’t about to crack. Not when it came to her deeper feelings. So, she nodded quickly, clutching onto the family wedding excuse like a lifeline. “Yes, it is. It’s a big issue, Harry. Every time I visit my family, it just… it tears me down a little more. They make me feel like I’m somehow falling behind because I don’t have someone. It’s exhausting.”
He sighed softly, his eyes softening with sympathy, though there was still a trace of doubt in his gaze. Without saying anything more, he leaned back against the couch and picked up his book again, his fingers absently running along the spine.
For a few minutes, silence fell between them, the crackling of the fire and the soft rustle of turning pages the only sounds filling the room. Y/N watched him out of the corner of her eye, heart still racing from the close call. She didn’t know what she’d do if he pushed further—if he managed to pry open the lid she’d been keeping on her feelings. She shifted in her seat, trying to focus on her book, but the words refused to make sense.
Then, just as she was beginning to lose herself in her own anxious thoughts, Harry broke the silence.
“I’ve got an easy solution,” he said suddenly, his voice calm and casual, like he hadn’t just spent several minutes in contemplative silence. He didn’t even look up from his book. “I’ll go with you.”
Y/N blinked, his words not quite registering at first. “What?”
He glanced over at her, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “I’ll be your date. To the wedding,” he clarified, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Problem solved.”
Her heart skipped a beat, her mind racing to catch up. “You… you’re serious?” She could hardly believe what she was hearing. Harry Styles, her best friend—and secret crush—offering to be her date to her cousin’s wedding?
“Of course,” he said, shrugging as if it were no big deal. “If it’ll make things easier for you, I’m in. I’ll go, smile for the family, and be the perfect distraction. You won’t have to deal with any awkward questions about being single.”
Y/N stared at him, stunned. He made it sound so simple, like it was no trouble at all. But for her, it was anything but simple. Having him at her side, pretending to be her date, while she tried to keep her feelings under control… It sounded like both a dream and a nightmare all at once.
She swallowed hard, trying to find her voice. “Harry, you don’t have to—”
“I want to,” he interrupted, closing his book and turning his full attention to her now. His gaze was steady, sincere. “You’re my best friend, Y/N. If this is stressing you out, let me help. I’d be happy to go with you.”
Her heart swelled at his words, warmth spreading through her chest at the thought of him being there, by her side, at a time when she felt most vulnerable. But at the same time, the reality of pretending—of standing next to him, feeling things she shouldn’t, knowing it was all just for show—made her feel dizzy.
“Are you sure?” she asked, her voice quieter now, almost unsure.
Harry’s smile widened into that familiar, mischievous grin. “Positive. And besides, who wouldn’t want to show off a date like me?” he teased, his tone light, but his eyes still holding that warm, comforting sincerity.
Y/N couldn’t help but laugh, her anxiety easing just a little. Maybe, just maybe, having Harry with her wouldn’t be so bad. It might even be the perfect distraction—from her family, and from her feelings. If she could keep them in check, that is.
“He’s going with you?!” Maddie’s voice echoed through the apartment, loud and full of disbelief.
Y/N, sitting cross-legged on the floor in her bedroom, groaned and yelled back, “I know!”
Maddie appeared in the doorway a second later, her eyes wide with shock and excitement. “Harry Styles—your best friend and international superstar—is going to a wedding with you. As your date. This is… this is insane!”
Y/N let out a half-laugh, half-sigh as she flopped back onto her bed, staring up at the ceiling. “Trust me, I’m still trying to process it.”
Maddie crossed her arms, leaning against the doorframe. “Okay, let’s go over the logistics because this is a lot to unpack. First of all, the wedding is a whole weekend, right?”
“Yeah,” Y/N muttered, sitting up and running a hand through her hair. “It’s in Edinburgh, so we’re going up on Friday, staying until Sunday. Two full days of family, dinners, receptions, and a ton of small talk.”
“And Harry knows this?” Maddie asked, raising an eyebrow skeptically.
Y/N bit her lip, her voice dropping to a quiet murmur. “No, not exactly.”
Maddie’s eyes widened even further. “Wait, so you haven’t told him it’s a whole weekend thing? What if he backs out when he realizes it’s not just a one-night event?”
Y/N sat up straighter, her anxiety returning in full force. “I mean, I hope he won’t. He offered so casually, but I didn’t get into all the details.” She winced, feeling a bit guilty for not being completely upfront. “It’s just... he said yes so easily, and I didn’t want to overwhelm him with everything all at once.”
Maddie shook her head, pacing the room in thought. “Okay, well, you’ve got to tell him. He’s going to need to know what he’s signing up for. The last thing you want is him backing out last minute.”
“I know,” Y/N agreed, sighing. “I’ll tell him tomorrow. I just… I really hope he doesn’t change his mind. It’s already going to be awkward enough dealing with my family, and having Harry there is the only thing keeping me sane.”
Maddie stopped pacing and turned to her with a mischievous smile. “Well, there’s something else we need to focus on.”
“What’s that?” Y/N asked, dreading the answer.
“Your outfits!” Maddie exclaimed, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “This is a wedding weekend in Edinburgh with Harry as your date. You need to look absolutely perfect every single day.”
Y/N groaned, burying her face in her hands. “Maddie, please don’t make this into a fashion show. I’m already freaking out as it is.”
Her roommate crossed the room and sat down on the bed beside her, nudging her playfully. “Listen, if you want your family to shut up about you being single, you’ve got to show up looking like the best version of yourself. And besides…” She shot her a knowing look. “It wouldn’t hurt for Harry to see you in a new light.”
Y/N peeked up at her through her fingers. “What do you mean?”
Maddie grinned. “Come on, Y/N. You’ve had a crush on him for as long as I’ve known you. Maybe this is the chance to finally turn his head, you know? If he’s going to be by your side all weekend, you might as well look stunning while you’re at it.”
Y/N’s heart fluttered at the thought, but she quickly shook her head. “Harry doesn’t see me that way, Mads. He’s going because he’s a good friend. That’s it.”
“Maybe. But maybe not,” Maddie said with a wink. “Either way, we’re going to make sure you look incredible. Now, where’s that suitcase of yours? We’ve got some planning to do.”
The next day, Y/N stood outside Harry’s house, a small bouquet of flowers in her hand. She smiled as she reached for the familiar key in her pocket, the one Harry had given her ages ago. She slipped it into the lock, the click of the door unlocking bringing a sense of comfort. Harry’s house had always felt like a second home to her—sometimes more of a home than her own apartment, if she was honest.
Walking inside, the familiar scent fresh linen greeted her, making her feel instantly at ease. She made her way into the kitchen, glancing around at the cozy space before setting the flowers down on the counter. After a quick search for a vase, she arranged them carefully, letting out a satisfied sigh once they were settled. The bright colors of the flowers added a little warmth to the room, something she liked doing whenever she visited.
“Harry?” she called out, already heading towards the back of the house and into the familiar hallway that led to his bedroom.
“Closet!” his voice echoed, slightly muffled, from somewhere in the bedroom.
She stepped inside, smiling to herself. His bedroom looked like it always did—neatly chaotic, with a mix of designer clothes and random bits of his life scattered about. But one thing caught her eye immediately: his Gucci suitcase, already lying open on the floor, ready to be packed.
He’s really going through with it, she thought, a mixture of excitement and nerves bubbling up inside her.
As she approached the closet, Harry emerged, fresh out of the shower, a towel slung low around his hips. His damp curls clung to his forehead, and water still glistened on his skin. He caught her eye and grinned.
“Didn’t hear you come in,” he said, toweling off his hair as he glanced down at the suitcase. “I figured I’d start getting things ready for this weekend. here we come.”
Y/N chuckled, leaning against the doorway of his closet. “You’re already ahead of me. I haven’t even started packing yet.”
Harry shot her a playful look. “Don’t worry, I’ll help you choose your outfits. You know I have opinions.”
Y/N rolled her eyes, her heart lightened by his teasing. But as she looked at him—standing there so casually, like this whole wedding weekend was no big deal—a knot formed in her chest. It was all starting to feel very real, and the idea of spending an entire weekend with him, pretending he was her date, was starting to feel overwhelming. Still, she couldn’t deny how good it felt to be in his presence, the one place where everything seemed a little less complicated.
Y/N lingered by the doorway of Harry’s closet, watching as he continued to dry his hair, the smell of his cologne mixing with the steam from his shower. She glanced again at the Gucci suitcase on the floor, neatly positioned and ready to be packed. A wave of guilt hit her. She hadn’t told him everything yet—about the wedding being an entire weekend event.
Clearing her throat, she shifted her weight. “So, uh, Harry… there’s something I need to mention about the wedding.”
Harry raised an eyebrow, still toweling his hair, his grin never faltering. “What’s that? Do I need to brush up on my dance moves?”
She let out a small laugh, then bit her lip. “It’s not just the wedding ceremony, you know. It’s kind of… a whole weekend thing.”
He stopped drying his hair, the towel resting on his shoulders as he turned to face her fully. “A whole weekend?”
Y/N nodded, her heart picking up its pace. “Yeah. It’s in Edinburgh, and there’s a dinner on Friday, the ceremony and reception on Saturday, and a brunch on Sunday. It’s like… a three-day event.”
For a moment, Harry just stared at her, blinking. His eyes searched her face, processing what she’d just said.
“Wait, so it’s a full-on wedding extravaganza?” he asked, his voice tinged with amusement.
Y/N nodded again, suddenly feeling sheepish. “Yeah, I should’ve mentioned that before. But I didn’t want to scare you off.”
Harry let out a low chuckle, shaking his head. “Scare me off? Y/N, I’m already committed to this. You’re not getting rid of me that easily.” He tossed the towel aside and crossed the room, leaning casually against the wall beside her. “A weekend in Edinburgh with you? Honestly, that sounds like a good time.”
Y/N’s eyes flickered with relief, though a part of her was still nervous. “You sure? I mean, it’s a lot—my family, the pressure… all of it.”
Harry shrugged, giving her a reassuring smile. “I’ve done crazier things. Plus, I’m kind of looking forward to charming your family.” His grin widened, eyes sparkling. “So, when do we leave?”
Y/N smiled, her chest filling with warmth. He really wasn’t backing out. He was in this with her, and somehow, the weekend ahead didn’t seem so daunting anymore.
Y/N and Harry sat cross-legged on the floor of his living room, plates of Indian takeout spread across the coffee table. The comforting aroma of curry and naan filled the room as they half-watched How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days playing on the TV. They had seen it a million times, but it never got old—Harry always laughed at the same parts, and Y/N always teased him for knowing the lines better than she did.
As Y/N scooped up a bite of butter chicken with a piece of naan, she noticed Harry glancing at her with a mischievous look in his eyes. She raised an eyebrow, already suspicious. “What’s that look for?”
Harry grinned, leaning back against the couch, plate balanced on his lap. “I was just thinking about the wedding.”
“Please don’t remind me,” Y/N groaned, shaking her head. “I’m still processing the fact that you’re actually going.”
“Don’t worry, I’m still all in,” Harry assured her, nudging her playfully. “But I had a thought… Why don’t we drive to Edinburgh?”
Y/N blinked, lowering her fork. “Drive? Like, from here to Edinburgh? That’s over eight hours, H.”
“Exactly!” he said, his eyes lighting up like it was the best idea he’d ever had. “Think about it—if we drive, we have complete control. If things get weird at the wedding, we’ll have a getaway car. No waiting around for flights or relying on anyone. We can just leave whenever we want.”
Y/N gave him a skeptical look. “You’re planning our escape before we’ve even arrived?”
He shrugged, popping a piece of naan into his mouth. “I like to be prepared. And besides, it’s not just about the escape plan. We’d get a proper road trip! Snacks, music, random stops at those little roadside places—remember the last time we did a long drive?”
Y/N couldn’t help but smile at the memory. “Yeah, and you made us stop at every service station just to try the food.”
Harry’s grin widened. “Exactly! Imagine all the snacks we could pack—crisps, chocolate, samosas. And the music—oh, the music! I’ll make the ultimate road trip playlist. We’ll sing along the whole way, windows down, no stress.”
Y/N snorted, shaking her head. “You just want an excuse to sing loudly and off-key, don’t you?”
“Hey, I have excellent taste in road trip tunes,” he said, pointing a fork at her in mock offense. “Besides, don’t you think it’d be fun? Eight hours in the car, just us, no rush.”
She tilted her head, contemplating the idea for a moment. As much as she loved the thought of a carefree road trip with Harry, she was more focused on practicality. “Look, I get it. But it’s just… flying is so much quicker. We’ll be there in less than two hours, and we won’t be exhausted by the time we get there. We need our energy for my family and the whole wedding thing.”
Harry leaned back against the couch, pouting playfully. “Where’s your sense of adventure?”
She looked over at Harry, who was now munching on a piece of naan with an expectant grin on his face. He seemed to sense her change of heart and glanced up, eyebrows raised in question.
“You know,” Y/N said, breaking the comfortable silence, “Let’s do it!”.
Harry’s eyes widened in surprise and delight. “Really? Are you serious?”
Y/N nodded, a smile tugging at her lips. “Yeah, why not? It could be fun. And I guess having the car would be good for flexibility. If we need a quick escape or just want to explore a bit…”
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harryfan1: FOUR?!DO I NEED TO GET MY EYES CHECKED?!
gemmastyles: Congratulations ❤️ I can't wait to meet them
annetwist: My beautiful grandbabies ❤️
harryfan2: Hold on.
↳ harryfan2: Harry styles as four kids.
↳ harryfan2: HARRY STYLES HAS FOUR KIDS NOW. FOUR. LIKE... HE GOES HOME TO FOUR KIDS AT ONCE?!
harryfan3: Congratulations! I can't wait to see dadrry!
harryfan4: TELL ME THEIR NAMES OMG
↳ harryfan5 gotta get those people that leaked the airport footage on the case
*
40 fingers and 40 toes that all belonged to me.
My babies.
I ran my hand carefully over my sons cheek whilst Harry did the same to our daughter.
We have four babies. Four NICU babies at that.
If I could go back and tell myself something, it would be to cherish them inside the womb because it didn't get any easier on the outside.
I felt so stupid. So incredibly stupid for thinking that lugging around four babies on my back was the hardest part.
I stared down at my son's breathing tubes as he slept in his incubator and felt the tears roll down my cheeks.
I couldn't hold them. I couldn't kiss them. I couldn't love them, physically. I didn't get them sleeping in my hospital room. I didn't get to get up with them in the middle of the night to feed them, and change their diapers... they were all stuck in a stupid incubator just to keep them alive.
They were tiny. Two of the boys were only 3 pounds and a couple ounces, and they were the biggest.
I could feel this weight on my shoulders as I looked at all four incubators around me and I wanted to just crumple on the floor.
Two days old, and I already couldn't do it. I couldn't magically make everything easier.
Harry and I traded off incubators, spending time with each of the babies as nurses came and went before I got wheeled back to my room.
I sat crying in the hospital bed, abruptly trying to supress my sobs when the door opened and in walked Harry.
His eyes immediately clocked my face, rushing over to soothe me.
"Baby." he said softly, "They're okay. They're healthy. They're going to get stronger. They're going to get off breathing assistance and feeding tubes and we will bring them home." He immediately reassured, almost like he had the same exact talk with himself, before with me.
"Her entire hand is smaller than the pad of my thumb, Harry!" I cried.
"She's going to grow." He reminded me, his hands cupping my face, wiping away the tears.
"She was smushed in there!" My body shook.
"She's okay, Y/N."
"You don't know that, Harry! You cannot tell me they're fine! They look like they're on the brink of death Harry! They're already fighting for their lives, and they just got here and I can't do anything to help! I can't fucking help them! I'm just fucking stuck here!" I yelled, my body physically shaking as my eyes burned. "Their bassinets don't even have their names on them! They're.. they're..." I broke down, my wail bouncing off the walls of the room. "They don't even have identities yet." I cried.
"They have names, Y/N." Harry said softly.
"They don't know that!"
"They wouldn't even if they weren't in incubators."
I glared at him, wanting to punch him whilst also wishing he would hold me and make everything feel better.
"I have four nameless babies, stuck in a incubator with feeding and breathing tubes and heart monitors and heat lamps and I can't even hold them, Harry. I can't do skin to skin yet. I can't feed them. I can't change their diapers. It's been two days! Two days, Harry!" I exclaimed, watching Harry take a deep breath.
"You're not the only one, Y/N. You don't think I wish I could do those things too? I'm cherishing getting to see them at all, Y/N. I would also love to hold, and cuddle and feed my babies. You're not the only one, but I also know, they're our new, freshly born babies, and we will never get this exact moment with them ever again."
"At least you can see them." I grouched, leaning back carefully in my hospital bed, thankful for the heavy medication they've given me for my cesarean wound.
"If you're mad, and you need to take it out on me, just tell me that, but at least tell me you're not mad at me." Harry said softly, watching me.
"I'm not mad at you." I said slowly, Harry nodding. "I just.. everything that I dreamt about.. isn't playing out at all. I didn't get to push our baby out of my vagina, and you cut the cord and have the normalcy.. I just... even now, I still can't see my own children whenever I want and it's incredibly frustrating. Do you know how insane it is to be told you can only see your baby during visiting hours until they're a bit stronger? I can't camp out in there even if I wanted to, because I have to be watched and monitored and recover as well."
"I understand, but we will bring them home. To bring them home though, they need to be alive, and those breathing tubes, and feeding tubes, and heart rate monitors are doing just that. They're keeping all four of our babies alive, baby. It's going to be hard. We're both going to cry, and get mad, but they're two days old. We're all just trying to get through this, together. the doctors, the nurses, you, me, them... we'll look back on today, and remember how hard it is, whilst we're cuddling them on the couch or they're screaming our ears off in highchairs. Today, will not be forever. I understand, and hear your frustrations, I feel them as well... but at the end of the day baby, we have four alive babies. You had four babies cut out of you, Y/N. Just a year ago we didn't think you'd ever get pregnant, and here we are today, with four babies. Yes, things are hard right now.. but this is all we've ever wanted, and now we have it. Days are going to be hard, and situations might not look how you've dreamt them..." he paused, moving closer, wiping my tears and kissing my lips softly. "We're parents, Y/N. You and me. We have four babies, biologically at that. Soak in the good, and breathe through the bad. All those negative pregnancy tests, all those egg retrieval treatments and the semen counts and the abdominal shots... we have four beautiful babies. We did it." He kissed me again and I nodded slowly, apologizes falling from my lips as I hugged him.
"I love you." I told him, sniffling.
"I love you, Y/N Styles."
I smiled up at him before asking for a tissue, Harry joked about me ruining the mood, passing it over before sitting in the chair next to me.
"You need to rest, love. Our babies need a strong mumma as well."
* * * *
ynstyles
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ynstyles: People have asked me what it was like to be pregnant with quadruplets, and yes it was a blessing, but it also was hard. Besides the basic pregnancy experiences, and the high risk pregnancy, my belly got HUGE, which is wild to me considering just how small the kids are.. but imagine carrying like 3 watermelons on your stomach. That might be what this felt like. Then add the swelling, the nausea, everything. It was hard. It was incredibly difficult. People also never guess you're pregnant with multiple babies, and if they do, just twins, so you often hear "Wow, that's gonna be one big baby." Which is really hard to hear looking back on, because of just how hard premie babies struggle. Sorry Karen, it wasn't a really big baby. It was actually four babies, that are now basically on life support. I thought my whole pregnancy my belly was ruining my body. I couldn't get it out of my head how I'd look afterwards.. and honestly? it does cross my mind, but at the end of the day, this belly carried four babies. It's funny to look back on how heavy the belly felt, knowing the biggest baby was only 3 pounds and 5 ounces. I'd say the hardest part, is the comments from strangers when they see you. I'd be 15 weeks pregnant, and they'd be shocked my due date wasn't right around the corner. I gave birth prematurely, and my belly was a lot larger then, than it was when people made comments to me. Yes I knew I was having multiples, but peoples comments and or fascination with ones body still hits the same. Some people just have big bellies, and small babies. Just because one is pregnant, doesn't change the fact that it is still their body. That is their stomach you're commenting on. The way it looks, the marks on it, the way the belly button protrudes. Pregnant woman don't deserve less, just because there's a reason for it. It all can still hurt the same. I've welcomed four beautiful babies with that belly, but that belly is still mine.
*comments have been limited*
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Written on: April 23rd 2025
Published on: April 23rd 2025
Word Count: 1628
tags: @ashleighsss @theekyliepage
Imagine: After the irrelevant chaos held by Candace Owens of him wearing the dress, Y/N helps him and proves that you have to be brave for each other when you are in love.
A/N - It's an old topic to discuss about. The whole thing is outdated now to talk about but I wrote this months ago but never finished it. Also, even if the whole Candace Owens thing is not there, the toxic masculinity and misinterpretation on feminism is still there which I would like to highlight in this imagine. Hope you enjoy!
Warning - lots of crying, hate and toxic comments, insecure!harry
___
The door clicks after her as she enters the apartment, her one hand carrying the entire bag of papers, a pile full of script she decided to bring back home to read, too lazy to do it on the set. Other than that, she was missing her boyfriend. The moment her watch showed nine o'clock, indicating she was done with her day at the set, she had rushed out of the set they've been working on.
The third reason being that she quite remember arguing with Harry about the positions she always wants to have sex in. While she wants to do it, Harry is somewhat reluctant about her getting hurt. So, during her lunch break, she'd make sure to question every query through the internet. Luckily enough, there were several opinions about it and she found out the conclusion.
“Baby, I am home!” She shouts happily through the exhaustion. A glimmer of smirk comes on the side of her lip as she shouts again in an amusing tone. “With answers!”
In other, usual days, Harry Styles would never dare to keep quiet when he hears his girl’s voice. Today, Y/N feels something wrong.
The whole place is cascading with silence. For a second she thinks he has gone out. The thought instantly worries her as to why hasn't he texted earlier to tell her that he would be gone out late. She hastily put her bags on the side table beside the entrance and walks in, her eyebrows furrowed together. Where is he?
Passing the hallway attaching the living area and their shared bedroom, she reaches in front of the door, almost lifting her hand to twist the knob when her ears pick on a wet throaty sob, followed by another sound of cry.
No doubt, the other side of the door is Harry. She even can feel the pain in his cry, he’s hurt, badly. She senses outrage as her mind dampens with anxiety not knowing who dares to distress him. The last time she had heard this much pain through his voice was when his stepdad passed away. That time she was in no place to blame anyone and prefer to give Harry every amount of care. But now, the thought of him undergoing the same squirms resentment inside her.
She didn't waste any time to open the door, the only barrier coming between them. Her heart almost tugs into half seeing the love of her life, sitting on the carpet near the bed, his head hidden between his palms. He let out another cry and then silences himself with quiet sniffles.
“H.” His uptight shoulders loosen instantly when he hears her voice.
His arms fall down that was initially wrapped around his body protectively and he automatically speaks. "They are talking stuff about me." Harry murmurs.
"Baby, what are you talking about?" Y/N sits down beside her boyfriend who sniffles, shaking his head while looking down at his lap. She bits her lips clearly not okay how shaky he looks. "Harry, tell me what stuff?"
Harry breathes and stifling a sob he spills. "They didn't like the dress that I wore."
Normally she is the one crying over everything and nothing, every crisis that ever happened to her, Harry's arms always had found her body to wrap, to soak in every sadness from her but now she is the one required to give comfort. Shuffling herself more closer to him, Y/N reaches for him and strokes her thumb on his tear-stained cheek. "You went online?"
With a nod, Harry responds to her. He feels guilty. He was strictly told not to go on social media the moment the photo shoot would be out for the world held by vogue. His manager, PR team, and even his mom asked him to keep his distance as the shoot was controversial enough to affect his career. So, Y/N made him stay away from all the comments being passed for a week. Until she chose to go to work this morning compelling Harry to check Twitter.
Seems like all hell broke loose after that.
"Oh, Harry." Y/N sighs, slumping her shoulders. Harry lays his head swiftly on her shoulder as her fingers started combing his soft curls. They both stay cuddled into each other arms, sitting on the floor of their bedroom.
"There is this woman." Harry begins slowly. "Candace Owens. She criticized the shit out of me." He chuckles softly.
Holding him, she pulls him apart to focus her eyes on him. "Who is she?"
"I don't know much about her but got to know she is an author and activist."
"That's why I told you not to open those apps for few days, didn't I?"
"Curiosity got the best of me, I guess." He whispers. Rubbing his cheeks with the back of his palms, he glances at her taking a long breath. "What should I do?"
"Have you talked to Jeff about this?"
"He said to ignore these comments."
Licking her lips, she asks, tilting her head in familiarity. "Well, can you ignore them?"
Harry's eyes again teared up. "I think I can't."
"Show me," Y/N says. Kissing his forehead, she smiles sadly at him. "If you can't ignore then share it with me. Show me what she had said."
He nods at her words. He feels fortunate to have her. With a lot going on, he always knows he will have Y/N along to support him. At last, she is one of his biggest supporters.
Grabbing his phone from the nightstand, he hesitantly passes it to his girlfriend who gives him a reassuring glance before unlocking his phone to see the first thing that pops on the screen; the twitter statement made by Candice Owens. Harry must have put down the phone after reading this, feeling low enough which made him cry.
"There is no society that can survive without strong men. The East knows this. In the west, the steady feminization of our men at the same time that Marxism is being taught to our children is not a coincidence. It is an outright attack."
"Clothes don't define how strong a man is. Clothes simply shouldn't define your gender." While she is nodding reading the words, she scrolls down to see the opposite.
"It screams gay to me. What is happening to this world? Men trying to be women? Go out and work. Leave this to women."
It is then when one reply catches her attention. It says. "Wait so Y/N let her boyfriend wears the gown and had no problem with it? Dude, she ain't getting it on the bed then."
Following comments are either of people supporting Harry or standing Candice's statement about how he has influenced the wrong description of masculinity. Disgust crawls upon her, watching the audacity of this woman not only circulating false reality but changing the whole meaning of feminism and masculinity.
"Ugh! What the fuck?" Y/N finally groans, looking up after skimming through the replies under the tweet. Harry sure had predicted an outburst, a hug to comfort but not her walking on him. He stares as she tosses his phone on the bed angrily and dashes out of the room. He doesn't move though, thinking Y/N has left him.
While Harry thinks worst out of the situation, Y/N is fuming. She is seeing red. Digging her phone from her bag, she calls her manager instantly.
"Hello?"
"I am posting about Harry on my social media." It isn't her telling the manager but instead making her statement clear.
"Didn't you two determined to keep your relationship private?" Her manager's voice comes in an alerting tone.
"Not after what people is saying about Harry online."
Of course, her manager knows it. Hell, everyone working in the movie with Y/N is dreading to ask her how she feels about her boyfriend wearing a dress but they decided on the contrary.
"Be careful, Y/N. You know you shouldn't be getting into any feud when we are so close to finishing the movie. It can damage the ratings once it get released." Her manager sighs on the other side. "I'm just saying you have to be careful with your words. Protect your boyfriend but don't forget about your reputation."
"I will try to be as polite as I can. Good night." With the last farewell words, Y/N's mind knows what to do next. It has to be done. Not for Harry but to clear the stigma.
---
The next morning, Harry wakes up with red swollen eyes, hair scrambled with knots, and throat aching from the crying the previous night. But the other thing that comes to his attention is him resting on the bed when he clearly remembers falling asleep on the floor.
That means only one thing. Y/N had helped him to bed. That means one more thing. She is still here. His heart is beating fast. He is unsure whether she now thinks of him as a joke like others.
Taking a deep breath, he walks over to the bathroom and decided to clean himself up good to face the consequences. He's afraid to do so but as long he wishes Y/N to be his side, he can handle anything. He relatively recalls the day, when he came home to her, a contract in one hand telling her about how he got into a Vogue photoshoot. According to him, this was something big for not only him but for the world to face as he would be dressing up in a gown. Not to forgot he was terrified of her reaction too, of what she'd think. His face went priceless when she smiled at him, later dedicating the whole night for the big opportunity landed on him.
"You don't think of me as some mad man wearing dress at all?" Was his trembling words when she had stepped in the kitchen with wine glasses.
"You're only a mad man in bed, baby. In a positive way, of course." Was her answer with a shrug and a proud smile.
So, how can he think of her not supporting him now?
Harry carelessly gets out of the shower, rushing to wear his clothes as he wants to check on her. He is convinced Y/N couldn't just stop supporting him.
When he strolls out of the bedroom, he then smells a delicious aroma filling the whole hallway of their apartment. A smile tugs on his lips, surprisingly a cheerful one that had gotten away since the night.
He finally finds her. Swaying her hips, she is mixing something in a pan as she cooks something while dancing to whatever the radio's been playing.
"Y/N." That makes her turn around and Harry sighs in relief seeing his love happy and not what he was imagining earlier.
"Baby, good morning to you too." She grins radiantly at him.
"I am sorry for yesterday." The words came out faster Y/N could blink. She creases her eyebrows together, very confused as to why he is apologizing to her.
"Why are you sorry?"
"For crying like a baby yesterday. You came home tired and then you had to babysit me." Y/N sure felt her chest tightens at his words. Does he thinks she feels obliged to take care of the person she is in love with?
"It wasn't me babysitting you, H. You needed comfort yesterday. You've done the same for me too, right?" When Harry nods, she continued. "None was your fault, Harry. You did something which you felt comfortable doing. If few people don't seem to appreciate this then it's on them."
"You don't think of me as a fool?"
"Why will I think of you as a fool, baby?" Y/N walks near him.
"Me wearing dresses, painting nails, and wearing jewelry...you never thought of it as extra?"
She shakes her head and then looks straight into his eyes. "What do you think of yourself when you wear these things? Normal or extra?" She asks calmly.
"Normal."
"And how long it's been since we are together?"
"Three years." His answer comes out fast.
She sighs, glowing. "Yes, three years. So, why the fuck will I feel your dressing sense extra when I never once complained about it."
Silence quoting in the kitchen, she snickers. He watches her while she chuckles at his dumbfounded reaction, returning to her work. His head starts bobbing in understanding. The words of his girlfriend explored his mind further. If someone close to you gets affected by your real normal self then the person is not your loved one.
His mom always loves him, so does his sister and his friends. Y/N loves him.
He smiles to himself. She truly loves him. She would never leave him alone.
Suddenly his phone rings breaking him out of his thoughts. Seeing how gracefully Y/N dances on the song currently playing on the radio he quickly walks out of the kitchen to attend the call. Turns out that the call is from Jeff.
He quickly picks up, thinking what provoked his manager to call him this early in the morning.
"You know you should marry Y/N right now or I'm fretting someone else will."
"What the fuck, Jeff? What are you talking about?" He questions.
"Just open insta and Twitter to find out, mate." With that Jeff quickly ends the call, leaving Harry to do the task. He sits on the couch, glancing over Y/N who is cooking breakfast for them.
Sighing to him, he gathers enough courage as he doesn't want another episode happening like yesterday night, he taps the Instagram icon.
He is left bewildered, as he stares at the photo. With the same rush of excitement, he quickly exits the app, opening twitter where his face gives the same reaction.
His eyes blink back few happy tears. He makes a run towards Y/N and carefully tugs her body around his arms. She squeals at the immediate weight lift and laughs, throwing her head back.
"Something happened?"
"Yes." He simply replies. Plopping her down, he is quick to taste her lips. He grabs her jaw and pulls her impossibly close enough, relishing her body heat and fragrance.
"Seems like something good happened." She hums, chuckling as she pulls apart.
"You, baby. You happened and it is more than good."
And yes, Jeff's warning of marrying Y/N stays in Harry's mind. He was in rush the next day to find a ring, a perfect fit for his lovie. In their love, she is the brave one and he is glad she is his.
A/n I know I said this was going to be up in two weeks but believe it or not, I’ve been so excited about this one. I’ve been writing it for three days and it is one of the biggest pieces I’ve worked on. Overall, some references such as places and the school system refer back to Canada because I am Canadian LOL. It’s easier to write about something you’re familiar with so in this case, we’re set in the true north.
word count: 6884 (I told you it’s very big 😉)
Please enjoy and give it a like or something, it means a lot xx
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Autumn
Harry’s POV
The school bell rings announcing that school was finally in session here at St. Clements High school. The year had just begun with the leaves breezing through the air and the sound of joyous laughter in the streets from children who had just begun school.
It’s my fifth year teaching here at an all-girls school. During my first year, students and even teachers would constantly hit on me and I would like to say that stopped but it hasn’t. Many of the students may think I don’t hear them whispering or murmuring in the hallways but I do. I definitely do.
I look up from my phone to see twelfth graders entering my classroom. I lock my iPhone and stand up in front of the board, observing the girls as they chose desks to sit near their friends. I offer a small smile to the girls who greet me and give a slight nod, waiting for the girls to be seated so I can start my introduction.
“Good morning girls, I’m your English teacher Mr.Styles.” The girls wait silently as I see friends make eye contact with each other, probably communicating with their eyes. “This year, you girls will be graduating so throughout this course, we will be looking at three main ideas.” I roll up the sleeves of my black polo and grab a piece of chalk to write on the chalkboard. “Now, I’m sorry we’re jumping right into the ocean. I promise I will properly introduce myself and let you girls introduce yourself to each other, right after this.”
I face the board and write a list...
1. Format
2. Author’s choices
3. Clarification of ideas
I put the chalk down and rest my hands on my hips, facing the girls. “Okay, so I’m going to explain these points, if you would like too, you can write down what I say but I also have a syllabus for you girls that will be ready at the end of this week.”
After 30 minutes of explaining the course, I lean on the front of my desk, finally looking at each of the students so I can remember what they look like when I learn their names. “Okay so let’s start the introduction.” I laugh a bit at the idea of introducing myself every year. “Should I start or would someone like to volunteer?”
“I would!” A girl speaks up. She had natural ginger hair with slight freckles on her face. Just from the way she stood up, I knew she was the student in class who would participate the most. “Hello, I’m Cathy. A random fact about me is I love to watch Netflix. Say any show and I can guarantee I’ve watched it.” The class of 17 girls clapped enthusiastically, supporting one another.
After a couple more turns, and Jazzy was done stating her random fact about being obsessed with Nutella, a girl with light brown hair and pale skin stood up. She smiled sweetly and looked around the classroom before looking at me. I give her a slight nod to continue and she coughs in her sleeve before standing up straighter to continue.
Now, I never looked at my students and debated whether they are pretty or not but for some reason, when this unfamiliar girl spoke I became way too interested in what she was saying than I have ever been with any students I have taught.
“Hi um, my name is Adeline. A weird fact about me is I love to eat the chocolate part before eating a KitKat.” Her friends gasp while some called her out for eating the chocolate wrong but I laughed as I crossed my arms and watched her sit back down, shaking her head.
As class came to a finish, I learned a few interesting facts about these seniors. I learned that a few hated English and loved math, some didn’t appreciate or care much about their education and some of these girls are really hard workers who want the best mark. Of course, I see these types of students every year but it’s nice to know which one these students are in my class so I can predict their course mark for the rest of the year.
I wait for my next class and repeat my routine. This year I was teaching 12s, 10s, and 9s.
——
Adeline’s POV
“Oh my god. Adel wasn't Mr. Styles so hot in class today? Did you see his back muscles contract when he wiped the board?” Mya leaned against the locker beside me while rolling her eyes in the back of her head. Mr. Styles is definitely going to be her crush this year. Last year, it was Mr.Belmonte and the year before that was Mr. Sanchez. “Don’t give me that look, Adel. If you don’t think Mr. Styles is hot then maybe you’re lesbian!”
“Mya as much as gay people are cooler than you, I’m sadly as straight as a raw spaghetti noodle.” I laugh it off and shut my locker as we walk together to Biology class.
“He’s our first period for the rest of the year. He’s going to always start the day off. I’m really excited.”
“That’s nice to know. I mean I’m excited about his class too, I really love English I hope he isn't a hard marker.”
As I spoke to Mya, my best friend, I truly began to wonder how I can improve more in English and see if I wanted to pursue it in University. So a month into Mr. Styles's class, I decided to stay after to ask him a question.
“Hi, Sir. I just have a quick question I was hoping you would be able to help me out with.” I approach him as he has a pen cap in between his teeth as he marked our commentary assignment from a few days ago. He looks up at me and sits up while focusing all his attention on me.
“Sure Addy, what’s up?” No one has ever called me addy before. I know it’s surprising but usually, all my friends called me by the nicknames Adel, laine, or what my parents call me, delly.
“Well, I truly love English but I don’t know if I would want to major in it. I was wondering if you know any opportunities I can try during my free time so I can think about it. I really have a passion for teaching and English but how do I know what to expect?” He genuinely looked really interested as he watched the grade 10’s enter his class.
“You know I’ve seen your work Addy. You have real potential. I don’t know if you would like this idea but I would love to be your mentor and help you with this skill you want to pursue. I know when I was in University being a TA, truly led me to this passion of becoming a teacher.” I nod my head and clench my binders tighter to my chest because it felt weird talking to a teacher for too long.
“If you would like too. I’ve never done this before actually but would you like to be my own assistant? I can ask Mrs. Raisell to verify with her. I think you can help me with marking younger students’ work and work on the outline of my lessons. At the end of this, I can write you a reference letter and give you hours if you need it for a special program.”
“Wow sir, no yeah I would be really honoured. It would mean a lot if I got to work side by side with you.” He smiles and stands up, probably a signal that I should go to my next class because he’s about to teach his.
“Obviously during your class or anything to do with that class, it will not have to do anything with what you do with me but yeah, I would love to go over things with you to see if this career path is right for you. Let me just start my class and maybe I can get back to you by the end of the week?”
“Perfect. Thank you, sir.” And with our final remarks, I left his class with the biggest smile on my face.
-
It’s been two months working with Mr. Styles after school. After Mrs.Raisell, my principal, accepted his idea, Mr. Styles and I began working alongside each other. Every Tuesday and Thursday, I would come back to his class after Calculus since it was the end of the day. His last period was a prep period which meant he had a period for himself to mark work and prep his lessons. When I come to his class, usually we focus on whatever he has left to mark. Some late nights, we would drown in a whole deep conversation about life when we get off topic about another conversation.
“Mr.Styles, I have a few more papers to go through but I was going to uber some dinner, are you hungry?” I ask him as I sit at the desk in front of his very own.
He looks up at me and stretches his arms. “You know, you’ve been helping me out a lot. How about I buy us some dinner? I know a really tasty Italian bistro a couple blocks from here.”
“Yeah, sure. Let me just text my mom so she knows I’m not at school anymore.” He nods his head and stands up, collecting my work and the papers he has on his desk. He shoves them into his side leather bag and waits for me by his door so he can lock it.
He turns off the light and we walk together to his car. “Wow, nice car. I’m guessing you’re a bachelor?” He unlocks his car and smirks while putting his bag in the back. He takes my backpack as well and puts it behind the passenger seat.
“Yeah, bachelor you’re very much correct.” He opens my door and gestures to me to sit inside so he can go to his side of the car and get in.
“How are you still a bachelor?” I joke as I watch him shift the car into drive. We zoom out of the parking lot and with a few bumps from the speeding bumps, we’re on the main roads. He looks at me and laughs.
“What do you mean? I’m 25.” He gazes at me while his elbow rests against his door and his hand is on the wheel. His other hand rests on the gear shift.
“Well, no I just- I know it’s weird to say it but a lot of the girls in our school have a crush on you and not by students. I mean actual teachers. My history teacher was talking about how cute you were today.” His cheeks redden and his eyes widen just a tiny bit.
“Oh, Sandra. Yeah, I had a feeling she liked me. She would always make me coffee when I’m in the staffroom marking.”
“Woah.” I laugh. I can’t believe I’m having such a casual conversation with Mr. Styles. Especially since he’s my teacher. I guess it’s natural for us though since I’ve been with him for two months now.
“So do your friends know you’re with me after school on some days?” He asks after he parks in the restaurant's lot.
“No actually.” We pause the conversation for a quick minute as we walk out the car together. He holds the door for me as we enter and the waitress directs us to a booth secluded in the corner.
“How come?” He takes his jacket off and looks at the menu while I flip through the pages quickly, scanning everything on their menu.
“My friends would think about weird scenarios of me working with you. I don’t know. I’m scared some of the girls in the class might become jealous about the opportunity you gave me.” He listens to me and watches me while I talk.
“Oh wow. Yeah, I get why you didn’t tell them.” He closes his menu, probably knowing what he wants. “And to be honest, I’ve never done this before. I wouldn’t offer it to any student. I think after reading your work and your interest in the career. It would be nice to mentor you. Plus, as much as high schoolers are. I’m pretty sure nothing weird will come out of this. Mrs. Raisewell has been checking on us quite frequently to make sure no boundaries are crossed.”
“Yeah, I think that’s good. My parents were really happy you gave me this opportunity too. So once again, thank you.”
The next day went pretty smoothly during the first period. Ever since I started working with Mr. Styles, he would call me out during class in a teasing manner. For example, he would use me as an example when he was teaching us a lesson. He would also ask me to read out loud with the rest of the class. I never gave much thought to it since after school when we were together and I would always tease him too. Like a couple of days ago I called him out for eating things with his tongue out. I guess you can say he and I truly became closer than a regular teacher/student relationship.
“Addy, stay after class today. I need to talk to you.” He comes by my desk and tells me as the rest of the girls began getting ready for class.
The class went by very quickly in my mind as I kept thinking of what Mr. Styles had to talk to me about it.
“Hey, sir.” I smile softly as I approach his desk. My eyes sparkled a bit as I checked him out briefly. He was wearing light brown khakis and a tight white long sleeve polo. He zooms out of the window he was looking at on his computer and focuses his attention on me.
“Addy, hey.” He smiles at me and brushes his hand over his hair. “So, my friend from uni is a professor at Windsor university. I was wondering if you would like to come with me and go to the provincial writers’ gala. It’s basically this event where we listen to authors and composers of different genres.”
“Yeah, I would love to go. Is there a specific dress code?”
“Yeah, it’s formal. Can you write down your address here, I can pick you up and drive you home. It's also in January.”
“How about I call you so I can give you my number and I can get yours too.”
After we exchanged numbers, I went on my way to my next class.
----
Winter
It’s been five months working with Harry. Throughout these past couple of months, We began sharing more about ourselves. We were on first name bases. I was calling him by his first name when we were not in class and he was driving me home from our late nights. Mrs. Raisell was frequently checking upon us as she promised and everything was going well.
My friends and I had a few fun memories over the winter break. We were at Rachel’s party and we all got drunk. I spent time with my family and my older sister finally brought home a puppy-like she always wanted to. I bought Harry a Nike sweater for Christmas since I remember him telling me a night while we worked that he wanted to invest more in casual wear. Harry, being very nice. He bought me his favourite book when he first started university which was Emma written by Jane Austen.
Tonight was the gala. After many months of finding the perfect dress, I found it just a week ago. It was this pretty pink long dress that was off the shoulders and with a slit through the leg. As much as I wasn’t Harry’s date, I would be with him all night long. I didn’t want to look like an 18-year-old student of his but more of his actual friend who came out with him tonight.
“Wow, Adeline.” He smiles at me as I leave my house and step out. He had a single red ombre rose in his hand for me. “You look very pretty tonight. I would think you’re trying to get yourself a boyfriend from the event.”
“I don’t think I’ll be looking for one tonight especially since I have my teacher beside me the whole night.” I tease.
“Hey.” He drags the word out and laughs. “I asked you to be my date so you’re right. No looking for boys tonight.” Oh, so I was his date. I took in his outfit he had his hair nicely gelled as he had just gotten a haircut and he was wearing a classic black suit.
As we made our way into the fancy venue, we sat at a table with people we did not know. There were many people here tonight with cameras everywhere. Throughout dinner, we made small talk with the others and by the time I knew it, we were facing the front of the stage listening to a composer who wrote a one-hit-wonder. I had my second glass of wine tonight, feeling the need to destress. Harry only had one and stopped there.
“Harry,” I whisper in his ear. We were sitting very closely together as we listened to the 4th speaker of the night. He kept an arm around my chair after fidgeting for the past couple of minutes.
“Yes, Addy.”
“Can we walk out a bit, I’m just feeling really sleepy from listening to them talk.” He nods without another word and helps me stand up. We try to walk out of the hall without causing much attention. He leads me outside into the cold air and leans against the pillar.
“You okay? I brought you out here, maybe the cold air can wake you up a bit.”
I smile at him because he looks so cute being concerned about me.
“Thank you. I really appreciate you bringing me here tonight. I’ve just been exhausted hearing them talk for two hours.” He laughs and stands up straighter. He takes his suit jacket off and hangs it over my body. “Trust me, I was daydreaming in there.” I laugh at his thought.
“Wow, my teacher daydreams while another one talks too? huh.” I grasp onto his shoulders as I feel myself almost about to fall.
“Okay, I think it’s time for us to go home. What do you think?”
“No! I’m not drunk I promise.” I smile and pull on his arm to try and get him to stop us from walking to his car. “Please Harry. I really am enjoying this night with you.”
“Okay fine but can we go inside my car and go somewhere else if we’re done with this event?” I nod my head and with his hand still in mine, he brings us into his car.
We sat quietly in his car for a couple of minutes. Until he turned his head to look at me. I had my body facing him already as my head rested on the seat’s headrest. I was admiring how good he looks.
“You tired?” He asks me gently as the warm air blows on my cheeks. “You have those cute lil red cheeks because of the cold weather. I should have told you to bring your jacket tonight.”
“It’s alright.” I smile. “Thank you for tonight. I know it’s weird having your student as your date but you truly made my night. People may think how weird we are because of how close we are but I just wanted to let you know that I appreciate everything you have done for me. You believe in me and only want the best for me.” He smiles and mimics my exact position.
“Adeline, I can definitely say out of all my years teaching. I have never gotten close to a student before like this. I don’t regret anything with you. First time I saw you, you were just a pretty girl and a smooth voice but now I know how funny you think you are, how passionate you are, and just how genuinely smart you can be.” and without another thought process in my mind, I kiss him because I’ve always wanted to. The moment I saw him in the halls last year, my heart truly did skip a beat and it hasn’t stopped since. He pulls away from me as quickly as my lips touch his. He looked into my eyes for a couple of seconds and I was about to apologize for being so rash except he pulled me in again with his hand on my cheeks. His lips were full and soft. His lips were on mine and they fit so perfectly that I had no other thought except the feeling of his soft palm on my face. We kissed for a couple of minutes and by the time I knew it, he was driving me home with his hand placed in my lap as I played with his rings.
He stops in front of my house as all the lights are turned off, meaning my parents went to bed as did my sister.
“Thank you, Harry. You know I had a great night.” He pulls his hand away from me and turns off the radio.
“Addy, about what happened in the parking lot. I’m sorry I kissed you. The moment was just very overwhelming.” He looks at the wheel in front of him.
“I don’t regret it, Harry. Do you?” My heart beats fast, scared of the rejection that is seeping through his soft lovable lips.
“Yes. I promised you and I that I would not let us cross boundaries.” I look out into the deep night, seeing my street completely empty because it’s 1 in the morning.
“We crossed boundaries the moment I started calling you by your first name, Harry. Why did you kiss me anyways? Maybe, it is inappropriate having your student as your date. Why did you ask me?” I feel so vulnerable after being rejected by him. I feel so embarrassed that the 18-year-old student he thought wouldn’t throw herself at him, actually did.
“Adeline.” He looks at me as I look away, getting ready to leave his car.
“Thank you for this opportunity, Mr. Styles but I think it’s my time I take a step back and focus on a different career since this one does not seem right for me.” I leave his car without another word and run up my driveway, crying. All I wanted to do was hide in my sheets.
After this night, I didn’t go to Harry’s class for three days. The first day, I stayed home but the other two days, I came to school after the first period was over.
“Addy, oh my God. Why aren’t you at homeroom anymore?” Mya spots me locking my locker. “Mr. Styles has been in such a bad mood ever since the beginning of this week. He yelled at us because we didn’t understand a layout he taught us not even 15 minutes prior.” I let my hair fall behind my uniform and carry my binders to my chest. Mya was frustrated, rolling her eyes at the thought of our English teacher.
“I don’t know, I keep waking up late,” I answered very shortly.
“I’m starting not to like him anymore. He’s been such an ass! As much as he’s really hot, I can’t deal with him.” We turn the corner and I spot Harry coming out of the English department office with papers in his hand. He looks at me quickly then keeps his head straight to continue walking back to his class. Ouch.
“Okay.” I murmur in response to Mya, after seeing him again.
~
“Hi, Ms. Olsen, is it okay if I pull Adeline out of your class for a quick minute?” Mr. Styles appears at the door of my history class. Ms. Olsen smiles sweetly and agrees. All the girls in my class look at each other while I stand up from my seat and meet him outside the hallway. They probably thought I was in trouble for skipping his class for the past few days
“Yes, Mr. Styles?” I reply with a cold tone laced in my voice. He was wearing a grey collar t-shirt today with black slacks.
“Have you been purposely avoiding me, Adeline.” He asks seriously as he whispers.
“No, It’s been a coincidence. I have not been feeling well and I’ve been waking up late.” Not true.
“See me in my class after school like usual.” and with that, he opens my classroom door, gesturing me to go inside. As I walked past him, his scent clung to my nose and I have missed it.
~
As I entered his classroom, his class was empty. He was resting against the classroom’s bookshelf reading over a book. I close the door and approach him, with my bag being held by only one of my shoulders.
“Mr. Styles, You wanted to see me.” He puts his book back into a spot on his bookshelf, my eyes catching the book of his favourite that he gave me last Christmas.
“Addy, you have to understand why I regret our kiss.”
“I do.”
“No you do not,” He moves to his desk and sits on it, he brings me closer to him so I stand almost in between his legs. “I love my job a lot. I’ve always been attracted to you the moment you stepped in my class but my aim was to never seduce you or take advantage of you.”
“I’m eighteen. I-”
“Baby, don’t talk while I’m speaking.” baby. He just called me baby. “ I know you’re eighteen but you’re still my student. I know the age gap is 7 years but that’s not the point. I wasn’t supposed to act on my feelings, all I ever wanted to do was help you. So, I just want to tell you, I’m sorry because of what happened and I’m sorry I’ve hurt you. You deserve a whole lot better than I because as much as you’ve interested me out of all the girls I’ve ever known, I can’t give you what you want.”
“I really like you, Harry.” I walk into him, trying to be comforted.
“I really like you too, Addy. I haven’t been in a relationship for eight years but for some reason the more I got to know you, the more I wanted you to be my girlfriend.”
“Take me home please,” I whisper into the crook of his neck as he wraps his arms around me. “Take me to your home.”
I walk into one of my neighbourhoods near my school, where Harry would pick me up. I spotted his car just ahead of me so I ran and opened the door to the vehicle that I’ve grown so familiar with. The moment I’m inside, I place my hand on his jaw while he grasps onto my hip to kiss me. His kiss felt so more affectionate as his thumbs rubbed circles on my hips. He kisses down my neck and onto my collar bone, sure to leave a hickey while I pull onto his hair.
“Okay Addy, let’s go home.”
His home was a small townhouse 40 minutes from school. It was very beautiful though and very well decorated. His living room had bookshelves everywhere filled from top to bottom.
“Would you like anything to drink?”
“No, I’m okay. Can we watch a movie and cuddle though.”
Spring
“Hey, how are you?” Harry smiles at me as I enter his classroom. It’s May now, so his windows are open so fresh air can breeze through the room.
“I’m good, what about you?” I approach him and give him a quick peck on the cheek. “I bought you some cookies from the cafeteria.” He smiles at me and kisses me on the forehead as he hugs me.
“Thanks, baby.” He sets up our usual set when I help him with marking. Usually, we act professionally at school, maybe a little cuddling occasionally. We try to finish early though so we can make it to his house so we can spend actual time together. “Does it still hurt?” He rubs my leg.
A couple of months ago, I had sex for the very time and it was with him. He was very gentle with me and I spent a whole night at his place. In the morning, we had sex over and over again until going somewhere a bit out of town for some breakfast. Last night though, we had it pretty rough that this morning, while I was walking to his desk during class to ask him about a literary device, he smirked at me while I tried not to limp in front of everyone.
“Yeah, as you care.” I roll my eyes at him and take out my 5th red pen since October.
“I do baby but it’s nice to know that you’ve physically been dick down by me huh.” He sits in his chair and opens the bag full of cookies and taking a bite.
“No one knows you’re dicking me down except for us.” I bite on my pen and laugh.
“I think that’s what makes it hotter.” He offers me a cookie but I shake my head.
“I’m graduating soon,” I smirk. He nods and swallows what he’s chewing.”
“University of Toronto Addy, I’m happy you’re pursuing English.”
“Thanks, daddy.” I joke with him as he raises his eyebrow. “I’m sorry I know the rules.”
“Yeah, don’t try and make me fuck you right here on my desk.”
“But maybe you should.” I blurted out loud. “I mean I’m graduating soon and I want you too.” I bite my lip and put down my pen. Without a word, he takes the papers and put them on the desk Jazzy sits in near the front. He pulls me out of my chair and onto his desk.
“You want me to bend you over in the class where you sit every morning, talking to your friends.” I nod my head. He pulls off my grey blazer that is part of my uniform and throws it on the floor. He walks over to the door and locks it. He goes to the window and shuts each of them tight and closing the blinds. He stands in front of me again and unties his tie, then rolling it up. “Guess, where I’m putting my tie today baby?” He holds onto my hips so he can rub his growing self on me.
“In my mouth?” He smirks and whispers in my ear, a quiet no. He unrolls it and wraps it around my head so I can’t see. His fingers slowly take off my panties and he rolls them into a ball with a small murmur of him saying open, which I do. He shoves them in my mouth and pushes me more onto the desk. He pulls my skirt down and unbuttons my white polo shirt. He takes it off leaving me bare. “Not wearing a bra, I see.”
He places his mouth onto my wet center and I moan. He wraps his hands around my inner thighs spreading them open, as I grip onto his hair. He leaps his tongue on my clit a couple of times, sucking onto it making my hips press onto his face. His growing facial hair tickling me. He takes my hands and adjusts them behind my back as he uses his other hand to take off his pants and boxers. From the way, he started rubbing his dick on me, I could tell his pants were probably down to his knees. He makes me stand up and he turns me over, pressing my tits to his cold wooden desk. As I moan, he inserts himself into me very quickly as I cry because of how good it feels. The frustration and the lust running in my veins making my heart want to burst. He keeps his hand holding onto mine as his other one gathers my hair into a makeshift ponytail. He bends down and starts kissing me, whispering the dirtiest things that always get me going.
“You like that you little slut?” “You feel me deep in there baby?” “You’re doing so well for me, I love how tight you are, always trying to make daddy feel good.”
By the time I knew it, he comes in me and stays for a little while, trying to catch his breath. He unties his tie around me and the first thing I see when I open my eyes are his clear beautiful green eyes. He carries me on top of his desk after wiping me off and putting my blazer on me. He fixes himself up first then helps me get dressed. He then carries me to sit on his lap in his chair as we nap for a bit.
I think I’m in love with him.
Summer
“Okay girls, You’ve done so well this semester. You’ve had your fun time at prom but next week you girls are graduating. Thank you for trying hard in my course, I really wish the best for each and one of you because I solely believe that women are our future.” He smiles as we come to our last class of the year. I truly am going to miss Harry as my teacher. Of course, I’m going to miss how he gave me special extensions on assignments and his extra help on my work but what I really am going to miss is his presence. I’ve seen him every day for the past 9 months. I also can’t ignore the fact I’m so in love with him.
He makes eye contact with me and smiles wider. He makes a fish face at me for a second and I blush to return one back. He then proceeds with his conclusion of the course and what we can expect in university. This is the room where I fell in love with him and it will also be the room where I leave him as I set my pathway in University. Of course, I’ll still see him every day since the apartment my parents bought me is close to campus and his place but it’s different because we won’t be at school anymore.
...
The day arrived and here we are at my graduation. After the long ceremony, My friends and I all took our pictures. I took some pictures with Mya and her family and with my family as well. After Harry was done having pictures with girls from my English class, he approached me. He greeted my parents, which they responded enthusiastically, knowing he and I are very close. They always teased me about having a crush on my teacher, what they don’t know is that I’ve been dating him for 5 months. My sister knew though, I needed someone to cover me up.
“Hello, Ms. Chastain. I was wondering if I could take a picture with my favourite student?” I roll my eyes and ask my sister, Marla to take a picture of us. He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me close as we smiled widely together. We also took some selfies on my phone with kisses to each other when we were more separated from the rest of the big crowd. “Will you come to my house tomorrow night, for your celebratory dinner?” I squint my nose and pretend to act all iffy.
“I don’t know Mr. Styles. Don’t you think it’s weird that a student will come to your house for dinner?” He pulls my hair a bit and pokes my hip.
“Shut up.” He laughs as his eyes crinkle. “Come to my car with me.” I walk with him to his car and I lean a bit on his hood as I watch him take something out of his car. He pulls out a huge bouquet of red roses and a teal bag from tiffany and co. The parking lot was empty because either everyone was in the hall or have already left. He hands me the gifts and kisses me on the lips. “Congratulations my baby. I’m so proud of you.
He helps me take out the necklace from the bag. It was this beautiful diamond on this thin chain that rested perfectly in between my collar bones. Underneath the pendant, the letter H&A was engraved. I kiss him one more time, knowing tomorrow will be the day I tell him that I love him.
~
“Wow, I can definitely smell the storm you’re cooking up in here.” I smile as I enter his house. I was wearing a nice blouse and white jeans with his necklace. He was wearing his casual attire, that I’ve grown to see more often as he bought more while we were dating. He was wearing this I heart new york knit sweater and tight black jeans.
“Just for you, Love.” He helps me sit at his dining table as he sits in front of me. The dinner went overall really well, as we spoke about his experience in University not long ago. By the time, we were finished we were cuddling on his couch watching the fireplace tonight. “Isn’t it crazy how I’ve known you since September and you were my student? I just never really thought I would go for a student.” I rub my foot against his leg and snuggle more into his chest.
“I never thought I would date the hottest teacher at my school nor get dick downed by him.” He pokes my hip and I cuddle more into him trying to hide. “Harry, I have something to tell you.”
“Yes, my beautiful girlfriend. What would you like to tell me, Baby.” He combs my hair out of my face.
“I love you.” He stays silent for a bit as the crackling of the wood became louder in my ears, I was trying so hard to distract myself from hearing my heartbeat.
“Thank you.” I sit up a bit to see his reaction. He didn’t seem pleased that I love him.
“Are you not happy?” I pout and sit up so we can talk. “I don’t expect you to say it back but you just don’t look like you want me to love you.”
“Baby, it’s not like that. I just-, I don’t know. You knew we weren’t going to last long. Why did you have to develop such strong feelings?”
“I’m sorry Harry, what? My fault?” I stand up, getting off his couch.
“No, it’s not your fault. I’m trying to say, do you really think we’re going to last while you’re in university? It’s difficult Addy, I don’t want to pressure you into this relationship that seriously yet.”
“You didn’t have a problem bending me over in your class the other month ago.”
“Adeline. Listen to me. You’re my girlfriend and I feel deeply for you, a lot but I don’t want to take that step yet when you’re just about to enter University.”
“Harry, I can love you whenever I want to.”
“You don’t understand. You went to an all-girls school, now you’re going to a university filled with thousands of men. I’m not saying you’re going to cheat on me but that’s just another example of how different this environment is. What if you do start falling in love with another guy? You’re going to leave me and I’m just going to be heartbroken. I just-, what you said to me means everything to me and I don’t think you’re really committed enough to say that to me right now.”
“Fuck you, Harry.” I grab my purse, getting ready to leave.
“Addy, don’t leave we need to talk about this.” He holds onto my arm.
“No Harry, I’m not dealing with your bullshit. It’s not me who is not committed enough to say those words it’s you! You’re not committed enough to admit it. You can’t genuinely believe that you can fall in love with one of your students. Just fuck you, Harry. I’m leaving.”
“Adeline.”
“I’m giving you five seconds to tell me why you can’t accept me saying I love you right now, Harry or else I am gone for good.” I cry as he watches me. As I begin to count down, his hands on my waist tighten. “5...4...3...2...1” and with that, I take his hands off me. “It’s not that I’m mad that you can’t love me or anything. I’m just disappointed in you because you’re the first man I have ever loved and you rejected the love that I offered you. I trusted you so much this past year and you threw my feelings back at me.”
“Don’t...leave me, Adeline.” He whispers as he grips onto his hair.
“I’m sorry.” As I walk out his door, I hear him smash things to the ground but he doubted if we were still going to be together next year, I guess he doesn’t...anymore.
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"I tried to get him into the bath again, H, and he scratched me this time. He just kept scratching until I let him go, and he ran to his room. I found him under the bed, he was still naked, and he was crying, and I don't know what to do, H, what do we do? How do we get through to him? What do we-"
"Love...I need you to calm down, okay? He's still adjusting. It will take time for him to trust us fully. It'll get better, but it has to get a bit worse before then, ya know?"
After minutes of saddened silence, Brayley decided to tell her husband about her morning experience with their foster son, Ryder, over the packing of dinner leftovers. Ryder had eaten only three bites of his grilled chicken, half of his green beans, and left the sweet potatoes untouched before sprinting up to his room without a word.
He hadn't talked all day. The night previous, he had wet the bed and Brayley found him hiding under his covers, shaking and wet from his torso to his knees. When she tried to get him in the bath, he cried and scratched at Brayley until she set him down where he escaped down the hall. Ryder was terrified of baths and even more so since he ruined his sheets.
His birth mother found him in soaked clothes once and went to bathe him. The difference between the two was that Brayley didn't drag him by his hair into the washroom. And she definitely didn't hold him underwater until he was almost unconscious to "teach him a lesson." There are so many every-day tasks that Ryder is terrified of, and it usually takes both Brayley and Harry being there for him to understand that it's not a punishment.
"I know. The transition for him was just so fast. I'm afraid it was too overwhelming. I mean, he's never known love or care. He's never known what it's like to have loving parents, H. I just want to help him."
"I know, baby. I do, too; you know that. How about I go check up on him while you finish packing up and then in, say, twenty minutes we'll both be there to get him in bed, yeah?"
"Yeah...yeah, all right."
Harry kissed his wife on the temple before stalking through his house to the stairway. He sighed and ran his hand over his face, not tired but worried for his small boy.
When Harry and Brayley first saw Ryder, they knew he was meant to be with them. They saw how tiny and innocent the boy looked with his shaggy blonde hair and grey eyes, and decided right then that they wanted to foster him. They wanted to show this boy love and care for him in the way he should've been his whole life.
After years of fertility struggles, the couple thought they weren't meant to have a child by blood but rather to foster and hopefully adopt to save them from the system. Once their eyes landed on the eight-year-old little boy, they felt nothing but admiration and the overwhelming need to protect him forever.
Upon reaching Ryder's bedroom door, Harry took a deep breath before knocking as gently as possible, knowing Ryder was still awake and not wanting to scare him.
"Ry? Can I come in, babe?"
Harry didn't hear anything on the other end, so he cracked the door to look in. He saw Ryder sitting on his twin bed, holding his stuffed lion in his left arm, and scribbling a crayon over a coloring page with his opposite hand.
The sight made Harry smile softly. The lion was a gift when the couple first met Ryder, and the coloring book and crayons were part of his homecoming presents.
Harry opened the door enough for him to step in as Ryder's head snapped up, eyes wide when he curled into himself suddenly.
"Hey, buddy. You left dinner pretty quick. Did you get enough to eat?"
Harry spoke softly but Ryder didn't answer. He only stared at Harry before glancing toward his nightstand, his breath coming out in deeper puffs. Harry took a few steps inside the room.
"Are you still hungry? Bray's got some cookies in the kitchen. I can go with you, and we can have a cookie, yeah? Watch a movie, maybe, the three of us?"
Ryder's eyes locked onto Harry's, fright evident in them as his body tensed even more when Harry sat next to him. The bed creaked, and a few crayons rolled at the sudden dip. Harry saw how Ryder shifted uncomfortably, his eyes going back to the stand, and figured he thought Harry was upset about the bedwetting.
"All right. That's all right, babe."
The two sat in silence for a few minutes; Harry staring at the boy while Ryder kept his gaze on the bottom drawer of his nightstand that was slightly ajar.
Suddenly, Ryder kicked out his foot and closed the drawer the rest of the way. He seemed panicked and frozen as he clutched the stuffed lion with both arms tightly, hiding his face in its mane.
Harry's brows raised at the abrupt action and he tilted his head for a better view of Ryder's fearful face. Sliding off the bed and down on one knee, Harry opened the drawer to reveal it filled with food.
Ryder had stashed packets of goldfish and pretzels, candy bars, packaged bread, even cans of corn and peaches that Brayley thought she lost two weeks ago.
"Ry," Harry sighed and was about to ask why he snuck the food when he saw silent tears pouring down Ryder's flushed face.
"Hey, that's all right. Have you been taking these from the pantry?" The boy didn't answer. Instead, his eyes followed Harry as he slowly slid back onto the bed.
"You know, Ryder, you don't have to sneak food. You can come to Brayley or me and ask for a snack if you're hungry." Harry's voice hadn't strayed from its soft, comforting tone.
Ryder's eyes kept their shape while Harry looked towards the drawer. "These aren't very good snacks, anyways, bud. Here, let me show you something."
Harry reached down and grabbed the pack of bread with only four slices left, yet he knew it had to have gone bad just by its look. He turned the bag over so the date appeared and held it gently in front of Ryder.
Pointing at the bag, Harry explained, "Do you see these numbers? This is an expiration date. It's to make sure the food is still good, but once this date is gone, it isn't too good anymore. Okay?"Ryder nodded, shifting his gaze to Harry's face, a bit taken aback by his tone.
"How about, we throw these out. Tomorrow, you and me, we can sit down and make a list of some snacks you like, yeah? And then we can go to the store and pick them up. How does that sound?"
Ryder nodded quickly, both at the prospect of receiving foods he liked and the fact that he wasn't being scolded or screamed at for secretly hiding food from his foster parents.
"If there's something you want that we don't have here, you can tell Bray or me, all right? We want to make sure you have foods you like here. And, while we're at the store, we can pick up some yummy desserts, huh?"
Harry smirked, trying to get Ryder to smile and loosen up. The tactic seemed to work as the child lifted his face and whispered a response to test Harry's still warm mood.
"Chocolate pie..."
Harry didn't think the relief that flooded through his body and the smile on his lips could grow any bigger. He let out a laugh, and Ryder's lips twitched up into a small grin.
"You like that chocolate pie from last week?" Ryder nodded quickly. "Then, we'll pick out the biggest and chocolatiest pie we can find."
At that, Ryder let out a joyful, yet small, laugh having thought the word 'chocolatiest' was his new favorite. Harry didn't think he could be any more proud of that little laugh. He gently turned and held his hand out for Ryder to take. The boy hesitantly put his palm against Harry's and looked up into his loving green eyes.
As Harry began to speak, he wiped his thumb under Ryder's eyes to rid his tears. "You're a good boy, Ry. Brayley and I are here for you, always. You can come to us with anything you need, okay, bud?"
Just as Ryder acknowledged Harry's promise, Brayley walked through the doorway. Ryder knew this meant bedtime, so he started slipping under the covers as Harry moved his coloring supplies to the floor.
Brayley closed the thick, cream-colored curtains and turned on the small lamp before kneeling beside the bed. Harry joined her, and the two tucked Ryder in, stroking his hair lightly and smiling to calm any nerves that might remain.
Harry kissed the child's temple and stroked his cheek before speaking. "We love you, Ryder. So much. Have a goodnight, bug." He kissed him once more for good measure. "Goodnight, sweetheart," Brayley whispered. Kissing his cheek and rubbing his back before the pair stood to leave the room.
Bray knew not to close the door at night completely and left it open just enough for him to slip through if he needed. With one last look, they saw Ryder staring at them from where he lay comfortable in the sheets. His little hand poked out, and he waved at his parents, whispering the lightest, "Goodnight," at the two.
Harry and Brayley smiled fondly at Ryder as he closed his eyes and slowly drifted to sleep. They knew that Ryder was going to be a challenging boy to get through to, yet didn't know how they could love him more in that moment.
harry slowly opens the front door, the creaking of the hinges makes him cringe. he slips off his shoes and carefully shuts the door. he softly walks into the living room and sees you asleep on the couch, the are you still watching this on netflix was illuminating off your face. harry grinned quietly and walked over to you. he bent down on his knees, careful of waking you, and pets your head. he stares at your face and his eyes look at you admiringly.
“kitten,” he softly coes to you, his thumb begins to rub your cheek. you mumble incoherent words and snuggle deeper into the couch pillow. “bunny cmon,” harry places a kiss to your forehead which makes your eyes flutter open. “there’s my pretty girl,” even though you just woke up, a blush was still visible on your cheeks. you smile softly and make grabby hands at him, which made his heart soar. he wraps his arms around you and picks you up, your legs and arms instantly wrapping around him.
your blanket slips off your shoulders and lands on the couch, and harry walks around the coffee table. you nuzzle your head into his neck and whine, which makes him laugh quietly as he turns off the side table lamp. he carries you down the hall and into your bedroom. he kicks the door open and brings you over to your unmade bed. he places you down softly and you instantly hum and shut your eyes. he giggles and places a delicate kiss onto your lips. you still had your work clothes on and harry knew that even if your eyes were shut, you’d still have to be uncomfortable.
“y/n baby, i have to change your clothes,” you nod and snuggle into the sheets. he sighs but can’t help but smile at your cuteness. he slips off your jeans, and then of course leaves a kiss on your thighs and knees. he throws the pants across the room and goes back up to take off your shirt. he throws that too and slips off your bra. he places a kiss on your neck, throat, and chest and then grabs one of his shirts from his drawer. he slips his “enjoy health, eat more honey” shirt over you and youre left in the shirt and panties.
he starts to undress too, his pants and shirt come off, leaving him in his boxers. he walks over and slips under the covers next to you. you move closer and nuzzle your head against his throat. he smiles and runs his hand through your hair, your sweet hums make him feel so content. he looks down to see you looking at him, and he places a kiss on your lips. you grin sweetly and kiss him again. the feel of his lips against yours instantly makes your body feel alive. he places his hand on your hip bone and rubs circles on it. he continues to place loving kisses on your lips, his teeth softly dig into your puffy bottom lip, and pull it back and let’s go.
you giggle and kiss his eye lids. not much words were said between you and harry in this moment but neither of you cared. his arms were wrapped securely around you and his nose was pressed against your cheek. “okay my love, let’s shut those pretty eyes and get some rest. m’kay baby?” harry whispers to you and you nod and kiss his neck and shut your eyes. harrys heartbeat thunders in your ears, making your breathing slow down. you’re starting to fall under and feel a wet kiss pressed to your forehead before you fall asleep completely. you really loved nights like this.
Love means different things to different people. Some people say love is making your partner happy and seeing them happy makes you happy . But love, is actually a figment of our imaginations. In a way, love is selfish and makes us lose our independence. You make the other person happy to keep yourself happy, and you become dependent and vulnerable. It's a somewhat like a shared dream. And until one person decides to wakeup, and that dream, albeit fun while it lasted, becomes a living nightmare
1 YEAR AGO
For Harry and y/n; sneaking out of premiers and award shows,buying tacos and eating them at 3 AM was love. For them, love was dancing in the kitchen to Elvis and baking with each other. Love was watching horror movies in makeshift tents, snacking on caramel popcorns and cans of soda; all while making fun of Harry's "those dumb bitches" in the movie. Love was falling asleep in each others arms and reading each other books. It was dressing up as Disney characters and acting out scenes from their favourite animations. It was etheral, perfect. Almost too perfect too be true
People always said "Love will fizzle out. One of you will get bored." Harry and y/n didn't listen. They burned so fast, so bright and didn't realise that their spark too, like all blazed and sparks from lighted matches, had extinguished. One second it was burning so brightly, and the next, it was gone
"When was the last time you spoke to him ?" asked y/n's sister.
" A week ago" a distraught y/n replied. "He barely has time to even talk to me on the phone, let alone show me the sights and explore the places with him via facetime"
For a brief moment, she allowed herself to close her eyes and all the memories flashed through her eyes, like a movie roll, playing over and over agai
FLASHBACK
"Y/N !" exclaimed Harry, the golden flecks in his eyes dancing with joy. Oh how she longed to see him, feel him and be with him in real life , rather than on a screen. Yet she was eternally grateful for Harry for never making her feel left out from the tour experience, he always made sure to show her around, even if it was only on a screen, while giving tour guide commentary in a horribly fake American accent.
"You're in for a treat ! We're going to see the Louvre today. Come on an enjoy the sited with Harry's Tour Experiences"
Y/n couldn't stop laughing.
Being an art fanatic, she giving Harry detailed descriptions of the art, while all he did was turn it inti a joke. His put on accent stood out when he kept saying " Oh shucks ! Here's another painting of a few women and men fighting and eating." He termed an entire style of art; renaissance art as "men and women barely dressed fighting and eating". He made a few sly comments on how y/n would look lovely in that dress. It was so wonderful and each of these virtual trips was marked with his signature end. Going to a park, and eating the same food.
His laughter was contagious and y/n loved it. She wondered how she got so lucky, so blessed to have hazza in her life.
She never thought that this love, would eventually fizzle.
end of flashback
Now she was lucky if he spoke to her for 5 minutes. Even those 5 minutes were filled with her talking and him showing least interest in what she had to say. She doubted whether he even listened.
Today, however was a low blow. It was y/n' bday. had it been any other year. Harry would've made this day perfect. They had been together since they were 18. The first year, he bought her 18 gifts on her birthday. The subsequent year, he got her 19 and so on. He would make her breakfast in bed and wake her up with showers of kisses and a "Good Morning, Happy Birthday Darling."
Today however, at 7 PM , she was yet to have him acknowledge that it was her birthday. She was yet to have any sign of news from him at all. She illusioned herself, thinking that maybe he had interviews to attend.
Her sister, however, tired with y/n's moping, said" You're coming over with your friends to Club 22 this night or else I wont speak to you. I don't want you to spend your birthday moping around"
With great difficulty, y/n was persuaded by her friends to go clubbing. The loud music, the drinks and the dim lights were never y/n's scene. Yet, for the sake of her friends, she fixed up a smile on her face and tried to enjoy, trying her best to forget than Harry's call still hadn't come.
.......
It was 10 PM and the party was in full swing. y/n's friends were drunk, so drunk. Everyone around her was laughing, drinking and joking. Meanwhile, a new disturbing thought had settled in y/n's head. What if he got into and accident ? What if he's really sick ? She was ridden with anxiety and couldn't get Harry off her mind, until that one fateful message from Nezza, her best friend, Harry's PA, through whom they had met, sent her that message. When y/n's phone lit up and she scarmbled to see the text, hoping it was Harry, she did not know it would change her life permanently.
The text was simple. "I'm so so sorry honey; you deserve to know" It was attached with a single file of pictures.
She subconciously knew what had happened. She had seen all the signs, yet chose to ignore them, not wanting to get up from her dream. The reduced duration of phone calls ultimately leading up to a call a month, the regular excuses, coming home late, half hearted kisses, they all added up. For a split second, y/n wanted to think that it was something else; maybe harry was too drunk or had passed out in a bar.
The message to forever to download. It was so slow and painfully excruciating. It was like the calm before the storm. The slow before the fast. The light drizzle before the thunderstorm. When the picture finally loaded; her heart shattered ever so fast. The pain she felt was numbing, yet somewhere in her mind, she was gald that Harry was safe.
There was Harry, his arm around the small waist of the redhead, his fingers entwined in hers. The same fingers which ran through y/n's hair multiple times, were now woven in another's hand. She thought her heart couldnt break more.
Fate was not kind to y/n.
She swiped to see the next picture, and she wasn't sure how, or whether it was even possible, but her heart further broke. Harry was kissing her in the booth, their booth, in Alessandro's the place he had her first date with y/n.
Fate had evil plans for y/n.
Tears streaming down her face, the makeup for the night ruined, y/n looked around for her sister and friends but they were nowhere to be seen. The only thing glowing right now was her glitzy dress, the one she had been forced into. Unable to take it anymore, she ordered an uber and left.
Fate wasn't kind to y/n at all
The minute she left the club, she was blinded with lights, the flashes from the camera, and the shouts from the reporters
" How do you feel about Harry cheating on you on tour ?"
"Did you expect this ? How do you react to Harry kissing a supermodel, younger than you!"
Y/n wanted to scream, but keeping her emotions in she pushed through the sea of people, got into her uber, gave her address and broke down.
She cried and cried. The uber driver tried to ask her what was wrong but she couldn't stop crying. she wanted the pain to go away. she wanted to cry. But most of all, she wanted Harry to tell her that it wasn't true and hold her in his arms and tell her it's alright.
But it wasn't. it wasn't alright. Far from it.
The next morning after an extremly broken sleep, y/n awoke. All the event's from last night wre remembered and her eyes started to water again. She switched on her phone to see the hashtag #y/ndeservesbetter and #harryandy/nareover trending. She also so 100 missed calls, voicemails and texts from Harry but chose to ignore them.
Y/n was raised to be strong. She spent most of childhood see her mom struggle to make meets end. She had seen the worst. She was strong. She went over to the mirror and saw her reflection and realised that she looked a mess. She took 3 deep breaths, washed her face, and masked her emotions, just as she did way back in high school, before she met Harry, before he changed her.
She went down and suddenly the apartment door opened. There stood the man who she loved, the man who had broken her heart, the one who still held her heart, no matter how broken it was.
He pleaded with her to forgive him. He begged, cried, said it was a one time mistake, and he regretted it, that he loved her; but y/n turned a deaf ear to his pleas. Their love had fizzled out, and she was blinded by affection not to realise it earlier. And as the saying goes " Once a cheater, always a cheater." Y/n wasn't taking any more risks. She put on a strong facade, made up her mind and left, leaving a crying Harry on the porch.
She wasn't over him, far from it. She was so broken, yet showed no signs. She had calm expresssion, yet her thoughts were chaotic. But she knew what was best and she knew this was the right thing to do. She had to take the lessons from this experience and move on, just like her mother had taught her. Dreams end, no matter how amazing it is, no matter how much you want to hold on and live it, and this, her perfect dream, had also come to an end.
So, what is love ?
A dream ? A nightmare ? Soemthing too good to be true?
Maybe all it is, is an illusion. A fairytale. Or maybe it is the truth, because truth teaches us lessons and so does love. i guess it's one of those things which just has no answers.
author's note
AND THATS A WRAP. I DO NOT CONDONE CHEATING. it's something which definitely shouldnt be forgive . this the first ever imagine I've posted on my new tumblr. Please send feedback. Hope you enjoyed it. Reblog. What are your thoughts? i would love to hear them. Send requests for more imagines.
