Best friends. A fake relationship. One weekend in Edinburgh—and maybe a shot at something real.
Author's note: This is a repost of the original story I first shared on Patreon. I’ve done a bit of light editing throughout—tightening up the prose, tweaking a few lines, and adding in some original text that was previously only on Patreon (including a few extended moments I really loved). Thank you so much for reading (or re-reading!)—your support means the world. I hope you enjoy this version just as much, if not more. 🤍
wc-> 4.5K
📌 pls, let me know if you would like to be tagged!
📌 Please consider joining my Patreon -> Patreon
The soft hum of the evening surrounded them as they sat on Harry’s plush couch, nestled in the heart of his spacious home. The minimalist decor of his living room reflected the careful balance between his hectic life in the spotlight and his need for peace. His house, though large, was warm, with low lighting that gave it a cozy, intimate feel. The air was thick with the scent of the coffee table candles he’d lit earlier—notes of sandalwood and something sweet.
Harry sat next to Y/N, his body half-turned toward her as he read a book, legs tucked beneath him like a cat seeking comfort. There was a distinct softness about him when he was in his own space, away from the flashing cameras and curious eyes of the public. His hair, dark and messy, tumbled over his forehead, catching in the dim light, giving him a boyish charm that contrasted sharply with his usual confident and polished public persona.
He wore a simple white t-shirt, the fabric clinging loosely to his lean frame. His broad shoulders spoke of strength, but his posture, slightly hunched as he leaned into his book, gave off an air of vulnerability. His long fingers traced the edges of the pages absentmindedly, and now and then, his green eyes flicked up from the book, studying Y/N with a kind of quiet amusement, like he was aware of the unspoken understanding that lay between them.
Harry had always been attentive, almost in a way that felt second nature, as though he knew more about her moods than she did. There was something undeniably magnetic about him—his laugh was a little softer here, his voice a touch lower. His fame could never overshadow the gentle heart he showed her when they were alone.
Y/N’s eyes hovered over the same paragraph for what felt like the hundredth time. The words blurred together, the meaning lost as her mind wandered to the man sitting beside her. She was supposed to be reading a novel on leadership—something meant to inspire her as she navigated her demanding corporate job—but her thoughts kept drifting back to him. It was ironic, really. The book talked about control and decisiveness, yet here she was, lost in the one thing she couldn’t control: her feelings for Harry.
She had always found him attractive. No—more than attractive. Beautiful in the kind of way that felt effortless. His messy hair, the way his lips quirked into a half-smile, those green eyes that seemed to see straight through her… It all added up to someone she could never quite believe was real. He’d always been larger than life to her, even before the fame. Back when they were younger, when they were just two young adults with dreams and no idea where life would take them.
But then, his life had soared into stardom, and hers had stayed grounded in the corporate world. He became Harry Styles—the Harry Styles—and she remained his best friend, hidden away from the glamour of his world. She had watched as women swooned over him, throwing themselves at his feet, and she had silently swallowed her feelings. She knew she could never compete. He was out of her league, in every possible way.
And yet, sitting here next to him, as close as they were, it was impossible not to be reminded of just how deep her feelings for him ran. His presence had always had this effect on her, an electric undercurrent that made her skin tingle and her heart pound just a little harder. She stole a glance at him over the top of her book. He was engrossed in whatever he was reading, completely unaware of the thoughts swirling in her mind.
That’s what made it all so painful—he would never see her that way. She was just Y/N, his best mate, his confidant. The one person who was always there, but never the one he looked at with desire. She felt a knot tighten in her chest as she allowed herself, for just a moment, to imagine what it would be like if things were different. If she were someone else. If he saw her the way she saw him.
As if sensing her gaze, Harry suddenly looked up, catching her in the act. His lips twitched into a small, knowing smile, and he set his book down on the coffee table.
“What’s going on in that head of yours?” he asked, his voice low, breaking the silence between them. His eyes locked onto hers, and the way he studied her made her feel exposed, as though he could read her thoughts without her saying a word. “You’ve been staring at that same page for ages.”
Y/N quickly dropped her gaze, closing the book to avoid his probing eyes. “It’s nothing,” she mumbled, though the heat rising to her cheeks gave her away.
He tilted his head, not buying it for a second. “Come on,” he coaxed, a teasing edge to his voice. “Spill it. I know you. You’ve got that look.”
She shifted uncomfortably, trying to laugh it off. “What look?”
“The one where you’re overthinking everything,” he said, leaning back against the couch, still watching her closely. His gaze softened. “Talk to me, Y/N. What’s going on?”
Y/N’s breath hitched in her throat as Harry’s green eyes bore into hers, his expression filled with gentle concern. She had always struggled to lie to him. Whenever he looked at her like that, like he truly cared, she felt like he could see right through her. The panic rose quickly, threatening to bubble over, and she knew she had to say something—anything—to steer the conversation away from the thoughts that were tangled up in her mind.
She blurted out the first thing that came to her. “My cousin’s getting married.”
Harry raised an eyebrow, clearly taken aback by the abrupt change of subject. “Which cousin?”
Y/N let out a long sigh, glad for the distraction, though the topic she’d chosen wasn’t much better. “The worst one. Out of the three, I mean. You know, the one who’s always got something to say about everything. Perfect life, perfect fiancé, perfect job… perfect everything.”
Harry’s expression softened into one of amused sympathy. He knew exactly the kind of family pressure Y/N was talking about. He stretched out his legs, making himself more comfortable, as if settling in for a story. “Ah, her. That sounds like fun,” he teased, his voice laced with sarcasm.
Y/N rolled her eyes, tucking her legs beneath her as she faced him. “It’s not just her. It’s the whole family. They’re all so excited, and for some reason, they’re all hell-bent on me bringing a date.” She threw her hands up in frustration. “I don’t even have a boyfriend, but everyone keeps asking if I’m bringing someone. They’re already assuming I’m going to show up with a ‘plus one,’ and I just… I don’t want to deal with the humiliation of telling them I’m still single. Again.”
Harry’s brow furrowed slightly as he listened, a small frown tugging at his lips. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees as he looked at her thoughtfully. “Y/N, you don’t owe anyone an explanation. If you don’t want to bring someone, then don’t. Your family’s expectations shouldn’t dictate your happiness.”
Y/N smiled weakly, appreciating the sentiment, but her heart was still heavy with the weight of the situation. “I know, but it’s just… hard. It’s like they see me as incomplete because I don’t have someone.” She let out a bitter laugh. “They don’t understand that I’m happy with my life. But at a wedding, it’s like a flashing neon sign that I’m alone.”
Y/N smiled weakly, appreciating the sentiment, but her heart was still heavy with the weight of the situation. “I know, but it’s just… hard. It’s like they see me as incomplete because I don’t have someone.” She let out a bitter laugh. “They don’t understand that I’m happy with my life. But at a wedding, it’s like a flashing neon sign that I’m alone.”
The room fell silent for a moment as Harry absorbed her words, his gaze softening even further. He opened his mouth, about to say something, but then paused, seemingly deep in thought.
Y/N bit her lip, realizing she was rambling, but it was easier to talk about this than the real issue she was trying to avoid. And with Harry sitting so close, his concern for her so palpable, it made her feel even more off-balance. Every time he cared, every time he listened so intently, it reminded her of how much she longed for something more than just friendship.
But that wasn’t an option. Not with him. So, she buried it all under the wedding invitation and the pressures from her family, hoping it would be enough to keep him from asking more.
Harry studied her for a long moment, eyes searching her face like he could sense there was something more she wasn’t saying. He tilted his head slightly, lips pressing together in that way he always did when he was thinking hard.
“Is that really why you’re freaking out?” he asked gently, his voice laced with quiet skepticism.
Y/N felt her stomach twist, the question catching her off guard. She hated how easily he could see through her, but she wasn’t about to crack. Not when it came to her deeper feelings. So, she nodded quickly, clutching onto the family wedding excuse like a lifeline. “Yes, it is. It’s a big issue, Harry. Every time I visit my family, it just… it tears me down a little more. They make me feel like I’m somehow falling behind because I don’t have someone. It’s exhausting.”
He sighed softly, his eyes softening with sympathy, though there was still a trace of doubt in his gaze. Without saying anything more, he leaned back against the couch and picked up his book again, his fingers absently running along the spine.
For a few minutes, silence fell between them, the crackling of the fire and the soft rustle of turning pages the only sounds filling the room. Y/N watched him out of the corner of her eye, heart still racing from the close call. She didn’t know what she’d do if he pushed further—if he managed to pry open the lid she’d been keeping on her feelings. She shifted in her seat, trying to focus on her book, but the words refused to make sense.
Then, just as she was beginning to lose herself in her own anxious thoughts, Harry broke the silence.
“I’ve got an easy solution,” he said suddenly, his voice calm and casual, like he hadn’t just spent several minutes in contemplative silence. He didn’t even look up from his book. “I’ll go with you.”
Y/N blinked, his words not quite registering at first. “What?”
He glanced over at her, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “I’ll be your date. To the wedding,” he clarified, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Problem solved.”
Her heart skipped a beat, her mind racing to catch up. “You… you’re serious?” She could hardly believe what she was hearing. Harry Styles, her best friend—and secret crush—offering to be her date to her cousin’s wedding?
“Of course,” he said, shrugging as if it were no big deal. “If it’ll make things easier for you, I’m in. I’ll go, smile for the family, and be the perfect distraction. You won’t have to deal with any awkward questions about being single.”
Y/N stared at him, stunned. He made it sound so simple, like it was no trouble at all. But for her, it was anything but simple. Having him at her side, pretending to be her date, while she tried to keep her feelings under control… It sounded like both a dream and a nightmare all at once.
She swallowed hard, trying to find her voice. “Harry, you don’t have to—”
“I want to,” he interrupted, closing his book and turning his full attention to her now. His gaze was steady, sincere. “You’re my best friend, Y/N. If this is stressing you out, let me help. I’d be happy to go with you.”
Her heart swelled at his words, warmth spreading through her chest at the thought of him being there, by her side, at a time when she felt most vulnerable. But at the same time, the reality of pretending—of standing next to him, feeling things she shouldn’t, knowing it was all just for show—made her feel dizzy.
“Are you sure?” she asked, her voice quieter now, almost unsure.
Harry’s smile widened into that familiar, mischievous grin. “Positive. And besides, who wouldn’t want to show off a date like me?” he teased, his tone light, but his eyes still holding that warm, comforting sincerity.
Y/N couldn’t help but laugh, her anxiety easing just a little. Maybe, just maybe, having Harry with her wouldn’t be so bad. It might even be the perfect distraction—from her family, and from her feelings. If she could keep them in check, that is.
“He’s going with you?!” Maddie’s voice echoed through the apartment, loud and full of disbelief.
Y/N, sitting cross-legged on the floor in her bedroom, groaned and yelled back, “I know!”
Maddie appeared in the doorway a second later, her eyes wide with shock and excitement. “Harry Styles—your best friend and international superstar—is going to a wedding with you. As your date. This is… this is insane!”
Y/N let out a half-laugh, half-sigh as she flopped back onto her bed, staring up at the ceiling. “Trust me, I’m still trying to process it.”
Maddie crossed her arms, leaning against the doorframe. “Okay, let’s go over the logistics because this is a lot to unpack. First of all, the wedding is a whole weekend, right?”
“Yeah,” Y/N muttered, sitting up and running a hand through her hair. “It’s in Edinburgh, so we’re going up on Friday, staying until Sunday. Two full days of family, dinners, receptions, and a ton of small talk.”
“And Harry knows this?” Maddie asked, raising an eyebrow skeptically.
Y/N bit her lip, her voice dropping to a quiet murmur. “No, not exactly.”
Maddie’s eyes widened even further. “Wait, so you haven’t told him it’s a whole weekend thing? What if he backs out when he realizes it’s not just a one-night event?”
Y/N sat up straighter, her anxiety returning in full force. “I mean, I hope he won’t. He offered so casually, but I didn’t get into all the details.” She winced, feeling a bit guilty for not being completely upfront. “It’s just... he said yes so easily, and I didn’t want to overwhelm him with everything all at once.”
Maddie shook her head, pacing the room in thought. “Okay, well, you’ve got to tell him. He’s going to need to know what he’s signing up for. The last thing you want is him backing out last minute.”
“I know,” Y/N agreed, sighing. “I’ll tell him tomorrow. I just… I really hope he doesn’t change his mind. It’s already going to be awkward enough dealing with my family, and having Harry there is the only thing keeping me sane.”
Maddie stopped pacing and turned to her with a mischievous smile. “Well, there’s something else we need to focus on.”
“What’s that?” Y/N asked, dreading the answer.
“Your outfits!” Maddie exclaimed, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “This is a wedding weekend in Edinburgh with Harry as your date. You need to look absolutely perfect every single day.”
Y/N groaned, burying her face in her hands. “Maddie, please don’t make this into a fashion show. I’m already freaking out as it is.”
Her roommate crossed the room and sat down on the bed beside her, nudging her playfully. “Listen, if you want your family to shut up about you being single, you’ve got to show up looking like the best version of yourself. And besides…” She shot her a knowing look. “It wouldn’t hurt for Harry to see you in a new light.”
Y/N peeked up at her through her fingers. “What do you mean?”
Maddie grinned. “Come on, Y/N. You’ve had a crush on him for as long as I’ve known you. Maybe this is the chance to finally turn his head, you know? If he’s going to be by your side all weekend, you might as well look stunning while you’re at it.”
Y/N’s heart fluttered at the thought, but she quickly shook her head. “Harry doesn’t see me that way, Mads. He’s going because he’s a good friend. That’s it.”
“Maybe. But maybe not,” Maddie said with a wink. “Either way, we’re going to make sure you look incredible. Now, where’s that suitcase of yours? We’ve got some planning to do.”
The next day, Y/N stood outside Harry’s house, a small bouquet of flowers in her hand. She smiled as she reached for the familiar key in her pocket, the one Harry had given her ages ago. She slipped it into the lock, the click of the door unlocking bringing a sense of comfort. Harry’s house had always felt like a second home to her—sometimes more of a home than her own apartment, if she was honest.
Walking inside, the familiar scent fresh linen greeted her, making her feel instantly at ease. She made her way into the kitchen, glancing around at the cozy space before setting the flowers down on the counter. After a quick search for a vase, she arranged them carefully, letting out a satisfied sigh once they were settled. The bright colors of the flowers added a little warmth to the room, something she liked doing whenever she visited.
“Harry?” she called out, already heading towards the back of the house and into the familiar hallway that led to his bedroom.
“Closet!” his voice echoed, slightly muffled, from somewhere in the bedroom.
She stepped inside, smiling to herself. His bedroom looked like it always did—neatly chaotic, with a mix of designer clothes and random bits of his life scattered about. But one thing caught her eye immediately: his Gucci suitcase, already lying open on the floor, ready to be packed.
He’s really going through with it, she thought, a mixture of excitement and nerves bubbling up inside her.
As she approached the closet, Harry emerged, fresh out of the shower, a towel slung low around his hips. His damp curls clung to his forehead, and water still glistened on his skin. He caught her eye and grinned.
“Didn’t hear you come in,” he said, toweling off his hair as he glanced down at the suitcase. “I figured I’d start getting things ready for this weekend. here we come.”
Y/N chuckled, leaning against the doorway of his closet. “You’re already ahead of me. I haven’t even started packing yet.”
Harry shot her a playful look. “Don’t worry, I’ll help you choose your outfits. You know I have opinions.”
Y/N rolled her eyes, her heart lightened by his teasing. But as she looked at him—standing there so casually, like this whole wedding weekend was no big deal—a knot formed in her chest. It was all starting to feel very real, and the idea of spending an entire weekend with him, pretending he was her date, was starting to feel overwhelming. Still, she couldn’t deny how good it felt to be in his presence, the one place where everything seemed a little less complicated.
Y/N lingered by the doorway of Harry’s closet, watching as he continued to dry his hair, the smell of his cologne mixing with the steam from his shower. She glanced again at the Gucci suitcase on the floor, neatly positioned and ready to be packed. A wave of guilt hit her. She hadn’t told him everything yet—about the wedding being an entire weekend event.
Clearing her throat, she shifted her weight. “So, uh, Harry… there’s something I need to mention about the wedding.”
Harry raised an eyebrow, still toweling his hair, his grin never faltering. “What’s that? Do I need to brush up on my dance moves?”
She let out a small laugh, then bit her lip. “It’s not just the wedding ceremony, you know. It’s kind of… a whole weekend thing.”
He stopped drying his hair, the towel resting on his shoulders as he turned to face her fully. “A whole weekend?”
Y/N nodded, her heart picking up its pace. “Yeah. It’s in Edinburgh, and there’s a dinner on Friday, the ceremony and reception on Saturday, and a brunch on Sunday. It’s like… a three-day event.”
For a moment, Harry just stared at her, blinking. His eyes searched her face, processing what she’d just said.
“Wait, so it’s a full-on wedding extravaganza?” he asked, his voice tinged with amusement.
Y/N nodded again, suddenly feeling sheepish. “Yeah, I should’ve mentioned that before. But I didn’t want to scare you off.”
Harry let out a low chuckle, shaking his head. “Scare me off? Y/N, I’m already committed to this. You’re not getting rid of me that easily.” He tossed the towel aside and crossed the room, leaning casually against the wall beside her. “A weekend in Edinburgh with you? Honestly, that sounds like a good time.”
Y/N’s eyes flickered with relief, though a part of her was still nervous. “You sure? I mean, it’s a lot—my family, the pressure… all of it.”
Harry shrugged, giving her a reassuring smile. “I’ve done crazier things. Plus, I’m kind of looking forward to charming your family.” His grin widened, eyes sparkling. “So, when do we leave?”
Y/N smiled, her chest filling with warmth. He really wasn’t backing out. He was in this with her, and somehow, the weekend ahead didn’t seem so daunting anymore.
Y/N and Harry sat cross-legged on the floor of his living room, plates of Indian takeout spread across the coffee table. The comforting aroma of curry and naan filled the room as they half-watched How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days playing on the TV. They had seen it a million times, but it never got old—Harry always laughed at the same parts, and Y/N always teased him for knowing the lines better than she did.
As Y/N scooped up a bite of butter chicken with a piece of naan, she noticed Harry glancing at her with a mischievous look in his eyes. She raised an eyebrow, already suspicious. “What’s that look for?”
Harry grinned, leaning back against the couch, plate balanced on his lap. “I was just thinking about the wedding.”
“Please don’t remind me,” Y/N groaned, shaking her head. “I’m still processing the fact that you’re actually going.”
“Don’t worry, I’m still all in,” Harry assured her, nudging her playfully. “But I had a thought… Why don’t we drive to Edinburgh?”
Y/N blinked, lowering her fork. “Drive? Like, from here to Edinburgh? That’s over eight hours, H.”
“Exactly!” he said, his eyes lighting up like it was the best idea he’d ever had. “Think about it—if we drive, we have complete control. If things get weird at the wedding, we’ll have a getaway car. No waiting around for flights or relying on anyone. We can just leave whenever we want.”
Y/N gave him a skeptical look. “You’re planning our escape before we’ve even arrived?”
He shrugged, popping a piece of naan into his mouth. “I like to be prepared. And besides, it’s not just about the escape plan. We’d get a proper road trip! Snacks, music, random stops at those little roadside places—remember the last time we did a long drive?”
Y/N couldn’t help but smile at the memory. “Yeah, and you made us stop at every service station just to try the food.”
Harry’s grin widened. “Exactly! Imagine all the snacks we could pack—crisps, chocolate, samosas. And the music—oh, the music! I’ll make the ultimate road trip playlist. We’ll sing along the whole way, windows down, no stress.”
Y/N snorted, shaking her head. “You just want an excuse to sing loudly and off-key, don’t you?”
“Hey, I have excellent taste in road trip tunes,” he said, pointing a fork at her in mock offense. “Besides, don’t you think it’d be fun? Eight hours in the car, just us, no rush.”
She tilted her head, contemplating the idea for a moment. As much as she loved the thought of a carefree road trip with Harry, she was more focused on practicality. “Look, I get it. But it’s just… flying is so much quicker. We’ll be there in less than two hours, and we won’t be exhausted by the time we get there. We need our energy for my family and the whole wedding thing.”
Harry leaned back against the couch, pouting playfully. “Where’s your sense of adventure?”
She looked over at Harry, who was now munching on a piece of naan with an expectant grin on his face. He seemed to sense her change of heart and glanced up, eyebrows raised in question.
“You know,” Y/N said, breaking the comfortable silence, “Let’s do it!”.
Harry’s eyes widened in surprise and delight. “Really? Are you serious?”
Y/N nodded, a smile tugging at her lips. “Yeah, why not? It could be fun. And I guess having the car would be good for flexibility. If we need a quick escape or just want to explore a bit…”
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
in which, your fiancé’s off touring europe for the last leg of his tour, and you’ve had to stay at home because work wouldn’t give you the time off, so a nice face time call makes you feel just that much better about not being in his arms.
You were missing him.
As you were sat in yours and his house in Los Angeles, you couldn’t help but miss your fiancé, the man who owned your heart and the man that would forever own your heart.
You were feeling a little bit lonely, even though your shared dog Max was cuddled up at your feet.
Harry was touring around Europe, performing the last leg of his three year tour, and as much as you would have loved to have toured with him, work simply wouldn’t let you have the designated time off.
You couldn’t help but feel slightly resentful, not at the fact he was touring, but the fact that you couldn’t go with him.
You missed his touch, his jokes and most importantly his love.
As you sat on yours and his double bed, laying on his side just to feel they little bit more closer to him, scrolling through Harry Florals instagram page and seeing what your fiancé was up to, your dog licking its paws below you, the thought of him having the time of his life was enough for you to throw your phone down on the mattress, and decided to try and watch some TV.
Catching up on the soaps, Coronation Street, Emmerdale and your and Harry’s personal favourite Eastenders.
The sound of a notification emitting from your phone was enough to make your heart skip a beat, hoping and praying that it was the man you loved.
Maybe it was him, calling to say goodnight even though there was a clear time difference in Europe to the states.
You grabbed a hold of your phone, flipped it over and saw a FaceTime call from him appearing on the front of your phone, a picture you took of him cuddled with Max, his contact photo.
You answered the phone with eagerness seeping from your veins, holding the phone in your hand as his face appeared on the screen.
“Hey, love,”Harry greeted, running a hand through his hair. “— how’re you?”
Instead of saying how you really were, all you could mutter out were the two words littering the end of your tongue.
“I miss you,”You told him, feeling your eyes gaining a little bit of moisture. “God, I miss you so much, baby.”
Harry explained that he missed you as well, and that things weren’t the same without you by his side. He felt sick at the end of every show knowing that you weren’t waiting for him backstage, or back at the hotel.
He missed falling asleep in your arms.
“Are you sure everything’s okay, m’love?”Harry asked, head tilted to the side as he looked at you through the screen.
What were you meant to say to him?
Your emotions were all over the place.
“I’m not sure,”You told him, stroking a hand through Max’s fur who was now sitting at your side, panting softly at the sound of his daddy’s voice. “— works just been long, there’s loads of new people and I’m starting to feel as though I don’t belong there anymore. Like I’m not good enough to be working there anymore”
That and you felt completely alone.
Like this was a one way relationship.
“That’s not true,”Harry told you firmly, head shaking. “You're amazing at your job, don’t let other people drag you down and certainly don’t let people tell you otherwise.”
It felt nice to hear him say that.
But it would feel even nice if he was saying it straight to your face and not through a phone screen.
“I know,”You sighed, blinking back the tears. “—it’s just really hard sometimes.”
“I understand that, love,”He assured you. “But just remember that you’re stronger than you think you are, you’ll always have me defending your corner.”
“I’m so lucky to have you.”You told him, feeling even more emotional.
“No, I’m the lucky one,”His voice was warm and comforting, something you had missed. “I can’t wait to come home and see you.”
“I love you.” His voice was one full of love.
A tear fell down your cheek. “— I love you, too.”
“G’night, darling.”
“Goodnight baby.”
The screen went dark and you placed your phone down on your nightstand with a bated breath, Max was now cuddled even more into your side, head laying on your stomach.
You felt a little more centred now that you had had that conversation with your fiancé, knowing that he missed you just as much as you missed him.
Warnings: swearing, a tad bit angst, mention of death/murder
"Get in the car," Styles says as he pushes me towards the passenger door. He starts to walk in front before quickly stopping to look at me when he realizes that I haven’t moved an inch. "I'm not going to tell you again, get in the damn car." His eyes were dark, barely visible against the dim alleyway.
My body stays rooted to the pavement and silence takes over us. I have no idea where this newfound confidence and stupidity came from, but my body is refusing to listen.
His body tenses at my refusal. "Either you willingly get in the bloody car or I'll force you. Either way, you're going to get in the car," He says as he clenches his fist and takes a step closer to me towering over me once again. This time I can not only feel the heat radiating off his body, but I can also feel his chest heaving up and down.
Slowly moving my eyes up his body to meet his dark ones only one thought crosses my mind. I do not want to get in the car or go anywhere with this man. I’m beyond scared and terrified for my life, but I stand firm.
"No," I manage to spit out, surprised at how calm and collected my voice sounded. I have to stand my ground, even though he could easily send a bullet right between my eyes, leaving me just as lifeless as the man behind me, “I’m not going anywhere with you.”
He takes another step closer to me, if that was even possible. Our bodies are basically one as he stares down at me. He clenches his fist so tight that I see his knuckles turn snow white. He swipes the tip of his tongue across his lips. His body posture is rigid and hard. Bending down so his face is right in front of mine. He seethes through his clenched teeth, "It's not a fucking option. Get in the bloody fucking car."
I stare into his dark, cold eyes. "I said no." He takes a deep breath before running his fingers through his untamed, curly hair. He turns quickly to face the dead man. Before I know what was happening, he turns around grabbing me and drags me over to the dead body in front of us.
"Do you want to end up like him?! Do you want to end up with a bullet through your fucking head all because you won’t follow simple instructions?!" He forces me to really look at the lifeless man on the ground. My heartbeat pounds in my ears as I feel my face drain of blood. I suddenly feel my lungs constricting against my chest as I try to fight the panic inside me.
I can’t seem to tear my gaze away from the scrawny man's body. Tears pool in my eyes and my body begin to tremble as his grip gets tighter. "I asked you a question. Do you want to have the same fate as him?" He asked as he yanks me closer to him. My back smacks into his front causing me to slightly lose my balance as I shake my head no. Tears pour down my cheeks like waterfalls.
"Then I suggest you get in the car and quit being stubborn.” He pushed me towards the sleek black Mercedes once again. He loosens his grip on my upper arm as we walk back. "Don’t even think about running. I will catch you." He walks to the driver's side and opens the door. He climbs in and I unwillingly copy his actions and slowly climb into the passenger side.
Locking the car doors and turning on the engine, he pulls out. My fingers turn to ice as reality really sets in that I may not live through tonight. "It's me again. I need to speak with Robin," He grumbles as he whips the car into the road and tightens his hand around the steering wheel. His deep voice startles me. My body is jerks around as he speeds down the open and empty road. "I don't give a fuck if he is in a fucking meeting. Tell him that it is urgent, and I need to speak with him right this bloody second." He shouts as he completely ignores the red lights in front of him and drives right through them.
Gripping onto the door handle I try to calm down my breathing, but all I seem to be able to do is stare at the man who just committed cold-blooded murder. My mind is racing and my body shakes in fear.
Who did he call before he saw me? How is he going to cover up the fact that a man is dead in the back alleyway of the book store I work at? What is he going to do with me? Surely I'm going to be dead soon. I’ve never heard of anyone else getting let go after witnessing someone murder someone else. Most importantly, who is Robin?
"Robin, it's Styles." He pauses as he whips the car left without even looking for oncoming traffic. Maybe he's trying to kill me via car accident so that way he doesn't have another murder on his hands. Surely he can make something up about the car rolling me to my death. That is if he doesn't flee the scene first. I mentally roll my eyes at the thought. "Yes, the job is done. I made sure he won't be an issue anymore for you." Silence fills the car for a moment. His eyes squint and his hands grip the steering wheel even tighter, "Because we have another issue on our hands." His gaze moves to me, his eyes are dark. His face flashes with unreadable emotion before turning stone and moving his gaze to the road in front of us. "I understand. I will be there in five." Without another word, he hangs up the phone.
"Wh-where are you taking me?" I stutter as I try to compose myself. He doesn't answer. Instead, he just keeps his eyes on the road and continues to increase the speed of the car.
"You know you aren't going to get away with this. You can't just kill an innocent man and then kidnap someone. I have people who will come looking for me, ya know." My voice rises as I start to really realize what is going on.
A soft chuckle is the only thing that leaves his lips. Another sharp turn right and I'm thrown back into the seat as he goes even faster than I could have imagined. "What do you find so funny? You aren't going to get away with this. Gloria has cameras all around the building. They have you on tape not only murdering that man but forcing me in your car."
"I for one think it's funny how you think that low life was innocent. I don't kill innocent people. Secondly, how you think I am stupid enough to believe you when you say that there are cameras in that god-awful alleyway. Do you think that I would be that naïve and gullible to believe that bullshit lie about Gloria having cameras up in the alleyway when that bookstore is barely making ends meet? You think that I didn't have every single detail worked out for tonight's events." Styles sneered as he came to a sudden stop.
"Clearly you didn't think of everything as I am an issue for your little plan," I state as I roll my eyes and stare him down.
"You don't know who I am and why I do the things I do. I advise that you rethink your smart-mouth responses before you have me do something that you will regret." He spits before quickly getting out of the car. He walks over to my side and opens the door. "Get out. If you know what is good for you, don't speak a word. You're giving me a damn headache with all your chit-chat."
He grabs my arm and leads me to a dark walkway. Glancing around at my surroundings, it's hard to tell where It’s pitch blackout. All I can tell is that there is a narrow walkway that leads to a white door. Dear god. Deep breaths, Raeelynn. We get to the white door and he quickly types in a code I don’t quite catch. That's when it hits me.
"Wait! In the car, you said that you only kill things that are not innocent. I didn't do shit. I was an innocent bystander. "Panic starts to set in. I realize something far worse than death waits for me on the other side. "If you don't plan on killing me then what do you plan on doing with me?" I ask pulling back on his grip. He drags me through the open doorway against my will. I fight against him. His grip tightens, but I don’t stop. I fight for my life.
"I never said I was going to be the one to kill you," He growls in my ear as he drags me further into the unknown building. Silence drapes over us and I force myself to accept the inevitable. I am going to die.
"Well, well, well, look who finally decided to show up to the party." The voice belonged to a tall, quite slender, but very attractive, male. He pushes off the wall that he was leaning on as he eyes the both of us up and down; more so me than my kidnapper. "And who do we have here? Someone who clearly shouldn't be here. Were the directions not clear enough for you, Styles?" He gloats as he begins to circle around us. He squints. His eyes are dark as coal. He traces his lips with his fingertips and a chuckle escapes.
"Oh for fucks sake Malik, shut up. Where's Robin?" Styles asked, his voice booming with annoyance. His body goes rigid and he slightly pulls me closer to him. "He's about to leave for a run. Probably to clean up the mess that you just made. Not only for yourself, but the whole damn pack." The raven-haired boy spits as he stops right beside me. I can feel his chest moving up and down as he takes multiple breaths.
"Back the fuck up before I make another mess, and this time I'll make sure the pack can't identify which body part belongs where,” He yanks me back and gets in between me and Malik.
"Why are you getting so defensive, Harry? You're the one who brought her back here. You know Robin won't approve of this. You know his rules. It doesn't matter who they are. The end game is always the same. It's only a matter of time before Robin and everyone else find out the truth." An evil smirk plays across his face. Truth?
"Don't make me repeat myself, Zayn. I swear I will gut you like a fish and I will enjoy every second of it. Don't test me." Harry takes another step closer to Zayn, towering over him. My spine tingles as the nauseous feeling works its way through my body. I don't know what comes over me, but I grip onto Harry tighter. I shield my body with his as Zayn's stare never leaves mine. There’s a sense of protection radiating off Harry as he grips my arm tighter. Not enough to hurt me, just enough to let my delusional mind convince me that he won't let this Zayn guy hurt me. Almost like Harry and I are connected in some emotional, sensual way. Which is hard considering I just witnessed him kill a man. There is also the whole kidnapping part.
"Alright, enough with the pissing contest, mates. C'mon, Harry. We both know you aren't going to do anything under the circumstances," A gentle voice echoes through the empty room. We turn towards the direction it came from. Neither Harry nor Zayn budges from their standoff stance. Harry has an inch or two on Zayn. He might be able to get a few good hits in, but Zayn seems like someone who fights dirty.
"Malik, you're needed at the docks. Both Tommo and Payne are down there waiting on you," The voice says, but this time he is much closer. Finally stepping into the light is a pale, blonde haired cutie. His eyes are soft and his smile radiates throughout his entire face. With a huff, Zayn spins on his heel and makes his way across the room and through the door that's on the opposite side of the room. The blonde glances at us before he stuffs his hands into his pockets.
"C'mon, lad. We don't have much time before they come back so ye better make it quick." His thick Irish accent rings through the empty room. Harry redirects me and pulls me in the direction of where the Irish man is standing. "Keep 'em busy for as long as you can, Horan," Harry sighs as we walk past him. We come to a sudden stop as Horan wraps a hand around Harry’s elbow.
"Are you going to tell me what this is about since I'm getting dragged into it? He's going to find out, and when he does, he will have both of our heads, mate," Horan says, causing Harry to straighten up in his stance and look down at him. His tenses again and his fingers tighten around my arm. I silently wince. Well, that is going to bruise.
"I already explained this to you. I can't tell you any more. I gave you an out and you chose to stay," Harry pauses for a second. A chuckle leaves his lips, "And please let him try and lay a hand on me. I'm not afraid to repeat history." He shoots a quick glance down at me before returning to the blonde Irishman. “I need to deliver the package. Either you help me or I will do this on my own. We both know that I don’t need your help, nor did I ask for it.”
Horan doesn’t bat an eye before he lifts his hand up towards Harry, “thick and thin, mate. Thick and thin.” His Irish accent runs deep as Harry lifts his hand to fist bump him.
“Thick and thin,” Harry whispers back before he quickly grips my arm and leads me through yet another door.
Harry leads me down a small hallway before stopping and pushing me against the wall. His arms on either side of my head blocking me in, and his eyes trace over my face. He doesn’t say anything for a moment. The silence feels suffocating.
“Please just let me go. I swear I won’t-” He slams his hand down beside my head. I fight back my tears. I can not show weakness.
“Stay here. Don’t move or make a peep. Got it?” He whispers as he adjusts the curls that have fallen into his eyes. He looks at me once more before sidestepping around me and makes his way a few feet down the hall, and disappearing into a room.
My heart races, starting its own chorus against my chest. My eyes wander the hall. There are two possibilities. One, I find a way to slip off and get as far away from here as I can. Or two, I make the dumbass choice to run and end up getting caught. Then my fate is settled. Death. Looking towards where Harry disappeared and then at the door he led me through, my mind made the easy decision.
Taking a step away from the wall, I turn on my heel and make my way back down the small hall in the direction we came from. The house looks huge on the outside, but the inside is a completely different story. Huge doesn’t even begin to describe it. Tiptoeing further down the hall in hopes that no one catches me, I pass the door we entered in. There's a small window in the middle of the door showing the dark garage. I see the blondie leaning against one of the tinted cars running his fingers through his locks as he looks down at his shoes. A very small sliver of hope radiates itself through my body that maybe I can find my way out of here.
Slipping past the door, I make my way deeper into the house, and find myself in a small room that is surrounded by old-fashioned leather furniture. The worn-out leather is slightly faded and you can see the wear and tear on the fabric. It’s surrounded in warm tones, mostly red and mahogany, filling the room as the bookshelves are filled from floor to ceiling, making the room seem bigger than what it is. There is a small desk lamp sitting on an old, wooden desk. It shows the room in a dim yellow light. Moving around the furniture, I quickly make my way through in hopes this room will lead to an exit.
I am met with another hallway; longer than the first. There are two doors on opposite sides of where I stand. The end of the hallway is nothing but darkness and I am worried that if I venture off that way, I will be met with a dead end. Perhaps there is no other way out than the way we came in? The thought alone fills me with dread. I am faced yet again with a decision I have to make. Left or right? Which door will lead to my freedom? Logically, it’s a 50/50 shot, but I don’t have time for mistakes. Grabbing the door handle on the right, I quickly turn the handle and swing open the door. My eyes scan the room in relief. I have never been so happy in my life to see a bathroom than I am right now. Right along the wall is a window. Taking a deep breath, I let the relief wash over me for a split second. I rush over to the window and my fingers fumble with the lock on the top. I quietly push the window up and step up on the toilet seat.
I work my way through the window and I can almost taste freedom. Swinging my leg out and across the window seel, I brace my hands against the sides of the window frame, willing myself to jump. Before I can make the decision, there is a firm tug on my ankle. Glancing over my shoulder, all the blood drains from my face. My heart feels like it stops beating altogether.
“Blondie,” I whisper. The taste of freedom fades away into the darkness of the night. Horan’s eyes nor hand leaves my body. Neither one of us dare to say a word as time seems to have come to a complete stop. Tears swell up in my eyes. Quickly wiping them away and adjusting myself on the ledge, I look outside. The moon is high in the sky and a dark orange. It lights up the entire backside of the house. The sound of water seems to be right behind me.
“I don’t know you, nor do I know what Harry’s fascination is with you. But what I do know, is that if you continue to try to go down this path, it will only end up in a world of hurt,” Blondie whispers as his grip on my ankle loosens but just barely. Chuckling to myself, I brush a piece of fallen hair behind my ear.
“You have no idea what my world is. You have no idea what happened tonight. The fact that I was simply at work, and witnessed a murder-” I huff, “fascination? You’re kidding me, right? He killed someone. He shot someone and their blood soaked into my shoes. I was- I was kidnapped and now I’m facing the same fate as that poor man in the alleyway. So, I will continue to go down whatever path I choose because, no matter what happens, I will end up with the shitty end of the stick. Not you, and especially not that bastard, will stop me from fighting ‘til the very last breath I breathe,” I spit, staring down at him before quickly lifting my leg and forcefully kicking him off of me.
Blondie fumbles backward as he tries to keep himself from falling. Taking my chance, I let myself fall backward out of the window. My back smacks the cold hard ground, knocking the wind out of me. I hear an Irish accent ring out from the window above.
“Bloody fucking hell,” Blondie yells as he stares down at me. He starts to push himself through the small opening.
“Shit,” I groan as I force myself up off the ground. I beg my legs to run faster. I don’t look back this time as I let the moonlight guide me to my escape.
Warnings: none except this is unedited and angsty. This is inspired from @hes-writer 's story Favorites, and a song called Lilith by Ellise. Have a happy read.
Synopsis: Harry and Y/N fuck up as parents to their eldest daughter. And by the time they realize, she is gone too far.
____________________________________________
Nobody can really pinpoint the exact date, month, or year; but it had started along the line. Lilith stopped playing football and clutched onto her books, while Eric started his basketball obsession and Erica got selected into the cheerleading team. Jake was a little art curator and Stella, she was just born to be special, no matter what. Harry and Y/N couldn’t be any prouder of their babies.
It was Saturday when Lilith came home tiredly, her bag slung from her shoulders in a tired posture, halfway to her elbows.
“Do you know what time it is?”, Harry asked, without looking up from his phone as Lilith entered the house. It wasn’t like Harry was waiting up for her. He didn’t even know that she was out. He just happened to be there when Lilith entered the house. He hadn’t even lifted his head to see which one of the pack was standing there, but as soon as he raised his head up, his neutral face fell to a scowl.
“Ten past one. I know well.”, she said tiredly, not having any energy to fight back with her father. “Then where the hell were you at? That too at this late in the night?”, he raised his voice slightly. Lilith looked at him through droopy eyes, throwing the phone on the couch. “There is the phone. Save the lecture. You can think I was at a party or anything that soothes you. I will just ground myself for the next week, month, or year… whatever suits you”, Lilith shrugged, taking tired steps towards the stairs.
Only if it had been someone like Eric or Erica, everything would have ended with ‘alright but beware next time.’
“No young woman, you aren’t going anywhere till you tell me where you were”, Harry didn’t really want to know where she was or what she was doing. He just wanted to see his offspring think that he could get quite scary when rules aren’t followed.
“In a library”, she curtly answered.
“And which library opens till 1 in the morning?”, Harry raised a slight brow.
“I don’t know, search on google”, Lilith shrugged.
“Young lady, you don’t give me that attitude”, he looked at her, giving angry eyes that she was used to by this point.
“If you don’t want this attitude, better let me go and talk in the morning. It’s just going to give you and me a headache and the house a sleepless night.”, she closed her eyes momentarily, pressing against the bridge of her nose.
Harry sighed. “Alright, but we aren’t done”, he spoke.
Lilith nodded and went upstairs, to her room. She knew Eric’s and Erica’s rooms, a little steps away from her must be empty. She saw both of them walk into Derek’s house after all.
Derek was a happy part of her life once he wasn’t. Now he just called her to show off his girlfriend and kiss her passionately. The thin strand of silk that bound their friendship was now completely snapped once his girlfriend asked him to choose either Lilith or her. Needless to say, blinded by lust, he let Lilith go. Lilith was just empty now. Her chest was void.
She just briefly closed her eyes, falling over her bed in the same sage green cardigan and black jeans, taking no time to change. But the next time she opened her eyes it was 7.34 AM.
She groaned internally, having to chug down the want to hole up under her blanket and disappear into thin air. Sometimes, she felt like she wasn’t supposed to be born.
As she walked down, no one except Harry and Y/N was present in the kitchen. She stood from afar and observed her parents. Her father had his head rested on her shoulders, holding her from back and humming some melody in her ear. Her mother just smiled.
When was the last time she smiled?
Feeling weak in her limbs, Lilith tried to walk forward, only to stumble on her way, startling both of her parents when they saw her trying to stand back up; none of them came forward to lend a hand.
“Morning”, Lilith rasped, grabbing a glass of water, bringing it up to her lips, gulping it down in one go.
“Lili”, her mother called out and she looked up, “your father said that you were home late last night and you were awfully rude to your father?”, Y/N started, Lilith just wanted to hurry back into her room. A grounding would just help her cause. “I was tired”, Lilith weakly mumbled. “That’s no reason to talk to your father the way you did”, Y/N frowned. “Just jump straight to the torture”, Lilith mumbled, feeling irritation bubble up from her lungs. “Do you understand the depth of your actions, Lili?”, her mother scowled a little, so she decided to give the only correct answer, “Yeah”, although her lips said so, her eyes were distant, emotionless, reflecting Harry’s eyes to her all through her life. Y/N didn’t know what to do anymore. “Your phone is confiscated. You are grounded for a week”, Y/N muttered. “It’s not like I had anything important or any plans anyways”, Lilith shrugged. She didn’t really have friends so she didn’t think anyone would text or call to check up on her. “Also your video games…”, Harry added and Y/N looked at him, a little surprised. “I’m not the other children. I don’t play video games”, Lilith muttered, standing across, leaning on the kitchen door. Harry’s illuminating face dropped a little dissatisfied with the reply.
“I will be upstairs if you need anything, though I am sure you won’t need me”, Lilith muttered the last part out of earshot.
Under her blanket, Lilith stared at the blank wall. There used to be trophies and medals hung up on the wall, Lilith just took them all down. They were of no use. The mathlete certificates and awards were also put in a cardboard box under her bed. They were of no use too. The science projects, music projects, dance recitals, none of them were of any use.
They didn’t attract Harry’s apprehensive nod that he gives always to Eric or those sweet kisses on the forehead that were reserved for Erica. They didn’t attract the weekend off that was meant for Jake and Stella. Where did it all go wrong? What was her fault?
Maybe it was the only person that made her feel important who threw her out of his life, or her dad’s impeccable want to feel her terrorized by his angry stance, but it was reeling her back into her childhood. On sports day, the children’s parents would compete for their children, with their children; her dad was nowhere to be seen and her mom was heavily pregnant. So, she just sat down by the line and watched others have fun. Before her football matches, her parents were busy with one kid or the other, so she practiced by herself; throwing the ball to one end and running to the end to kick it some more. Her first singing competition and she saw Harry looking down on his phone annoyed, distracted, missing her whole performance. On her eighth birthday, none of her friends remembered; and her parents were busy nursing Jake and Stella. She felt stupid and dumb. She thought it must be the wrong date, but when she looked at the calendar, she broke down into sobs. It was the right date. That was the night she came to a realization, she was always alone, no matter what.
The twins were early to catch up to her age and while they did make her feel at ease, the twins were so close to each other, Lilith felt like she was always at the wrong timing. Jake and Stella were close too.
Where did she stand all this time?
The sun rose to head at noon and set in the evening, no one called her for lunch or dinner. The twins were sure to have had a hangover; the kids, well, who knows? Whatever it was, she knew she didn’t belong.
Monday. Everyone looked happy, like a picture-perfect family. Jake and Stella were on their high chairs, talking to each other, god-knows-what, and Eric and Erica were talking with their father about something important. Their mom was happily humming flipping the pancakes and swaying her hips with the song. If there was one dust on this picture-perfect timing, it would be Lilith. So she stealthily walked back to her room and got her polaroid. Maybe, at least Harry would smile looking at the picture? Staying behind the railing, she captured the happy moment of the family. It had a smiling Harry, laughing at something Y/N said as she served the plates. Eric and Erica were sharing laughs as well. Y/N was trying to conceal her smile and Jake and Stella, not understanding anything, continued babbling to each other.
The only thing that could spoil this picture was her presence. Everyone would shut down immediately on seeing her, and begin smiling again when she was absent. She felt like she was in school, living with people.
She didn’t want to be the one to spoil it, so she walked back into her room and grabbed some protein bars from her desk. She packed her school bag and walked away for school, nibbling on to the chocolate bar. She haven’t had actual food in so long, but there was only so much in her want or reach.
_____________________________________________
There was a supposed family dinner that night, and everyone was excited. Everyone except Lilith. She assumed everyone had already forgotten her forlorn, gloomy presence in the house. But just then Y/N barged into Lilith’s room, seeing the eldest at her study desk, studying her afternoon away. “We’re going for a family dinner, so put on some nice clothes”, Y/N said in a hurried voice. “Your and my definitions of nice clothes are different, just pick out one”, Lilith spoke removing her glasses and looking at her mother. Y/N all but sighed as she went to the 17-year-old’s closet. There was no dress, frock, or anything wearable according to Y/N. “We don’t even have time to go shopping”, Y/N groaned throwing her head back. Lilith sighed. “I’ll just put on what I wear every year so no one will notice me no matter what”, Lilith muttered, as Y/N sighed.
A black T-shirt and black jeans, always made her invisible, adding to the darkness of her smile or her mind. Her green eyes, a gift from Harry, would roam around, seeing everyone else, but never giving herself away.
“The kids are growing so fast, aren’t they? It was like yesterday when Lili, Eric, and Erica were just toddlers”, Gemma gushed, and that was supposed to be the only time her name was mentioned. “Eric and Erica are growing glamorously. They are so humble and talented.”, Harry smiled proudly at his babies. “What about Lilith?”, Gemma asked. “Well her, well-- I don’t know. She just doesn’t fit right into the picture”, Harry replied, as if he didn’t know that the eldest sibling was six feet away from him, head hung low, fingers fiddling with each other. She took the darkest corner; she took the darkest light.
“Harry? Y/N?”, Anne asked concerned, looking at Lilith’s already shrunken face. Lilith didn’t open her mouth, wanting to know actually what was her fault that everyone seemed to put her away from their life. “I mean, she has gotten a bit bitter; never talking to us the correct way and stuff”, Harry replied while Y/N pursed her lips.
If she was of no use, what was the reason to pretend?
The dinner was silent. Lilith’s presence was like a ghost; unnoticed.
That night when they reached back, she knew, she would change.
Tuesday dinner. Everyone had something important to share.
“I’m so proud of you, Erica”, Harry says when she completes saying how she became the cheerleader captain. Eric said something about helping a guy out with his project. Jake and Stella babbled about drawing something. When everyone’s story ended, there was little to no chance anyone would ask Lilith about her day. But Y/N did notice the obnoxiously quiet girl. “So Lilith, how was your day?”, Y/N asked. It would be pretty dumb to reply if no one would listen, especially since Harry and Eric were in a serious conversation. So She shrugged. “Nothing new. Smoked pot and had a threesome”, Lilith’s words caused a whiplash of heads. Harry’s head was the fastest. Erica tried to confine her amused smile and Eric was downright shocked. Y/N looked like she saw a ghost, the kids not understanding anything. “Just kidding. It was the same boring day, with boring lectures and angsty teachers”, Lilith slyly smiled as everyone let out a silent breath of relief. “I was seriously kidding”, she repeated aloud. “Or am I?”, that caused the second whiplash of heads. Lilith left them all perplexed.
Wednesday. A birthday. Her birthday. As usual, she anticipated no text, call, or presents. The breakfast table was impregnated with silence, because of Lilith’s obvious words. Lilith avoided everyone that day. No one questioned her.
Thursday. Lilith had to babysit her youngest siblings. Eric and Erica had willingly joined, sitting on to watch a movie. Alice in Wonderland played in the background. Harry was ecstatic to see his children bonding well.
He doubted Lilith ever loved the family as the other kids did. When he passed by her room, although he knew he shouldn’t, he welcomed himself in the spotless room. There lay a bunch of papers on the top of her desk, which he assumed was an assignment. The topic was “Parents and Teenagers”.
Eagerly, Harry flipped through the pages, enamored by the writing, by the way the words were put together. When he was nearing the end of the essay, he felt his lips droop down.
“... There is not much difference between how teenagers view the world and how parents view the world; each has their own opinion, own paints to brush the world with. When the parents heal and brush the world a bright color of yellow, the teenager could be in a dark place and paint the world black, to shut out light, to shut out noises. Even though the parents seemed to have passed this phase in a different light, the teenagers might worry about things that might not make sense to the older parents. A teenager can be depressed about their parents not loving them as much as their siblings, and a teenager can be worried about their parents loving them as if they’re an only child. However, the thought processes are different in each case. In the first case, it is obvious that the reason is wanted attention. In the second case, however, it could be the fear of resentment from the other siblings or in really dark vessels, the fear could be of causing grief to their parents when they are in the darkest corners of their lives. However, what they feel is real. People can only love as much as the amount of blood pumped by the heart, but to love beyond that, is what a parent is capable of. However, it’s a choice. Sometimes, the choice is difficult; and sometimes the choice just comes.
Movies and books should stop criticizing teenagers for the way they feel, when parents, the adults, don’t feel shame in abandoning children even if they are completely capable, refusing to heal, and passing on their demons to their kids. A gift is a gift, whether good or bad. If the good ones can be accepted with a smile, let the bad ones sink in too. The codes in DNA are already wired from the ancestors. It won’t be one's religion, color, race, or gender that decided one's action, but the way one received the code of genetics; the way one decided to get rid of the bad weeds and kept the good ones to be passed on. Therefore, if it's a defective piece you see, try to find their use rather than throwing them away. The world is getting filled with unnecessary junk anyways”
It was the first Harry had taken an insight into her thoughts. He saw a scribbly red A+ at the corner of the page. It fucking deserved that.
Harry placed the bunch where it was and took a look around. It looked awfully empty. Harry felt an icy foot of dragonfly settle in his chest, a ghost of realization hovering over him, of what he was losing certainly.
He walked back to the kitchen, where his woman was laying plates for dinner.
“Dad is really the best, isn’t he? Like he is always there to help me with projects and games. He has been so supportive of my decisions, you know?”, it was unmistakably Eric’s voice, and Harry smiled, eavesdropping a little more on his children’s conversation.
“I know right. Like he is the coolest father”, Erica gushed. “He reads us bedtime stories!”, Jake squeaked. “Plays dolls too”, Stella squeaked standing beside Jake. “Lilith… what about you?”, Erica asked the girl whose eyes were trained on the television.
“What?”, Lilith asked. “Whom do you like more? Mom or dad?”, Eric repeated Jake’s question. “The correct answer is both of them”, Lilith muttered. Harry’s brows furrowed. “We’re asking you your honest answer not the correct answer”, Erica rolled her eyes. There was a fleeting moment of silence before Lilith replied, “Neither of them”
There was some more silence. “W-Why’d you think that?”, Eric asked. The conversation had started with Stella’s homework about writing an essay about their father. “He’s in games and performances, for you guys, not mine. He helped you out for your basketball practice, not me for my football ones. He helped you out for your chemistry exam, not my music exam. He held your hand till you were completely seated in your kindergarten for two whole months, for me, he left as soon as he could as if I suffocate him. Forehead kisses, gentle touches when you got hurt were reserved for you, for me it was the cold eyes and distant look. And mom, well, she made up excuses for him. He was busy. He was busy playing with you. He was tired. He was tired after playing with you. Every time I thought it was supposed to be just that way. You guys came along and he was a different father. Mom, even if she knew that dad didn’t quite like me, she left him to care for me. As if she looked for an escape too. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if he got up one day and said, I don’t want to be around you and disown me”, Lilith spoke her heart for the first time.
“And”, she continued, “Yesterday was my last birthday in this house. Can’t remember the last time anyone from my family wished me”
Harry’s heart completely shattered at the last statement. How could he forget? More likely how did he not notice?
“You know that they love you, right?”, Eric said, hesitantly.
“There is a difference between ‘supposed to love’ and ‘loving as much as the other children’. I know they are forcing themselves to love me because they aren’t supposed to have any other feeling other than love for their child. But their love for me won’t ever reach the height of the love they have for you guys.”, Lilith replied.
Y/N stepped up the stairs cheerily to call out for her happy family to have the last meal of the day, however seeing Harry on edge, Y/N’s smile disappeared.
She startled him to an extent where he slightly flinched at her touch. Not knowing what's going on, Y/N presses her ears against the wall, to pick up the conversations. “Yo--You know that they don’t hate you, right? They are the best parents in the world”, Erica asked, her voice quivering, not wanting to see this side of her parents. “I never said they were bad parents. They were just never supposed to be mine”, Lilith spoke, unapologetically, shocking everyone hearing on the conversation. “Yesterday was her birthday”, Harry murmured, looking at Y/N’s shattered face. She had tried hard to put past every negative feeling and be a good mother to Lilith. But, she failed terribly. “I would rather have them hate me. It’d be easier to accept their actions, rather than thinking that they loved me to such an extent that it got excessive and they couldn’t handle it. I don’t want my only definition of love to be ignorance and neglect. It won’t be fair, after all these years”, Lilith sighed. Y/N’s heart crumbled apart as she knocked softly at the door, the eyes on her. “Dinner’s ready”, it was as if she provided them with water while they were parching. Everyone was quick to leave.
That’s why Lilith hated to open up. No one could ever handle the bitter truth.
Lilith walked past her parents, no emotions in her eyes.
Given that Lilith was actually Harry's ex's child, who couldn't support the upbringing, Y/N was slightly jealous and Lilith stayed as the reminder of that jealousy. For Harry, she remained a constant reminder of the rough phases between him and Y/N. They never saw how bitter they went against her.
The dinner table was heavy. Jake and Stella didn’t know what was going on, but they thought it would be better just to be quiet. Harry cleared his throat. “So, Lilith, I remember you doing football, how’s it going?”, Harry tried to act nonchalant. But Lilith knew he knew. Lilith knew he overheard. Because if he didn't, he wouldn't remember. So she didn’t bother covering up her greens. “I stopped playing years ago”, she replied. “Why?”, Harry choked out. “Because people who were supposed to love me decided not to show up at a single game. And at last, it proved to be of no use.”, Lilith said, her snake green eyes choking everyone in the room. Harry didn’t lie when he said he remembered. He vaguely remembered the coach calling him to just say how good Lilith played and could represent the school in Nationals or Internationals even, only if she continued. He was disinterested and forced a clipped smile. Little Lilith’s heart fell and she left the team days after.
“So, what do you like nowadays?”, Y/N asked, trying to take matters forward, since she was the one who major fucked up!
“Nothing and No one.”, she shrugged.
Harry and Y/N sat defeated. “Dude, they are trying to talk to you, don’t be hard to get to!”, Erica rolled her eyes.
“Sorry that I’m not high so I can’t take a freaking conversation well.”, Lilith scoffed. Gasps fell from lips. It was an obvious lie, but the lack of humor at the dining table didn’t help factors. “It’s just less than a month. I will be out of your hair, so leave me out of your business”, Lilith said, feeding as little as she could, and got up to her room.
Harry touched the smooth picture he had found on Lilith’s table, with a small ‘picture perfect’ written under the polaroid; one where his family was happy; where he had a happy family, only that picture lacked one person, one person that never thought was deserving to be in that picture. He wasn’t aware when the picture was taken. He didn’t know why she took it. But it stung like a thousand wasps were feeding on his cut.
He felt fucking pathetic.
He remembers a few lines from her essay that he had read earlier. “Sometimes, people act like they love the other person in the row more than the person next to them. To teenagers, it's a replaceable lover. To parents, it's an irreplaceable child. But the effects sting just the same. This process just reveals the insecurity of people; they think that by making one jealous, they can make the bond stronger. Only this bond strengthens the bond as much as it weakens it.”
Perfect smiles don’t make a picture-perfect family. Shared secrets and tears do so too. But he failed a little too much in seeing both the tears and smiles.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
*includes fics about all three peter parkers, not just mcu spiderman.
Game of Thrones
Send requests for writings about whatever your heart desires! I will write only for the list above. If there are any characters I do not want to write for within those universes, they will be listed on the masterlist for that topic. I reserve the right to refuse any requests that I am not comfortable with.
Please check content warnings on each post before reading to make sure it is safe and suitable to read.
Minors, DO NOT INTERACT with any smut or smut-related writings. If you interact with anything 18+ or NSFW you WILL be blocked.
My work MAY NOT be copied or used anywhere without my permission and without crediting me within the post. This includes translations- please ask for permission first and we can discuss terms. You may, however, reblog and share links of my fics or my account- this is welcomed and appreciated!
DM me to be added to my tag list! PLEASE specify for which topics/universes you would like to be tagged, or else you will be added to the tag list for ALL fics posted on this account.
THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE! On this page, you are loved, accepted, and appreciated. I love you so much and I’m so happy to have you reading my writings!
warning: lots of fluff, written at 1:03 am, which explains the title, really short
(not proof read) <3 hope u enjoy
your hands slowly climb together, his finger tips against your palm makes you smile softly. your head lay against the plush white pillow, that’s soaked in your scent. harrys head lays next to yours on his pillow, his eyes up at the ceiling just like yours. your hands lay intertwined in the center of you. a white cord from your ear buds is laying cross your chest, and is plugged into your phone. the ear bud sits plugged into your ear and it’s twin is stuffed into harrys.
the music plays softly in your ear, your leg lightly shakes to the beat of the music. harrys unused hand is against your arm, and is tapping your skin along to the song. you softly lay onto your side and take a look at him, and harry still lays silently but now with his eyes shut. you stare at his face lovingly, admiring every dip and freckle on his face. leaned over and placed a soft kiss on his jaw, causing his eyes to flutter open. you’re now pushed against his side, your hands still intertwined between your legs. your separate hand lands onto his jaw and you start to rub circles in his face.
he hums in content and leans into your touch, which causes your heart to flutter. he turns slowly on his side and looks at you, as your finger continues to travel around his face. his hand wraps around your waist and he pulls you close, so your legs are pressed together. however, your chests aren’t touching so you can look up into his emerald eyes. your eyes search his and all you see is love and admiration. “what’s going on in that pretty head of yours,” harrys voice rumbles in your ear. you pause your music and take your earbud out, harrys coming along with it.
you place them on your bedside table beside you and then turn back to Harry. “nothing, just staring at your handsome face, my love” you respond as your hand goes back to touching his face. he smiles softly and nuzzles into your hand, a breath of air leaves his nose in comfort. your hand slides up and scratches his scalp softly. his eyes open and they stare straight into yours, which makes your cheeks redden slightly. “you’re so beautiful. an angel,” your cheeks definitely turn a bright red at harrys comment. you hide your face into his chest, and you feel it rumble from his giggles.
“are you shy now, princess?” harry asks you causing you to whine and hide your face deeper in his warm tattooed chest. he laughs again softly and kisses your hair, which makes you look up to him longingly. you stare into his eyes, “i love you bub,” you whisper up to him. he smiles and kisses your nose, “i love you too pet”. you slowly get up on your elbows and place a long kiss onto his pink lips. you place another one softly and pull away slowly. his eyes sparkle with love and he presses kisses all over your face. you let out hushed giggles and lay back against his chest.
your eyes start to shut slowly, which makes harry stare at you. he was so in love with you. he really knew you’re the one for him. “kitten?” harry whispers nervously, which causes your eyes to open again. “yes harbear,” the nickname that comes out of your mouth makes harry blush. his arms goes into the dresser on the side of his bed and he pulls out a little box, which makes your head tilt confusingly. “y/n im so in love with you. you’re my everything, and i want to spend every minute of my life with you. so will you please marry me honey?” harry asks anxiously.
you squeal and quickly straddle him, “yes yes yes of course I will”. harry quickly sits up and wraps his arms around your waist and places his head in your neck. “oh thank you baby, i love you so much. m’wanna see you in white.” you whimper and let tears fall against the skin of his neck. you pepper kisses all over his cheek, neck, and shoulder. he pulls away and shakily slips the ring onto your finger. you desperately grab at his face and smash your lips against his. you both smile widely into the kiss and squeeze each other firmly. “i can’t wait for you to be mrs.styles,” harry whispers as he squeezes your hips. your lip stay hovering above his. “i can’t wait either hubby”.
Love means different things to different people. Some people say love is making your partner happy and seeing them happy makes you happy . But love, is actually a figment of our imaginations. In a way, love is selfish and makes us lose our independence. You make the other person happy to keep yourself happy, and you become dependent and vulnerable. It's a somewhat like a shared dream. And until one person decides to wakeup, and that dream, albeit fun while it lasted, becomes a living nightmare
1 YEAR AGO
For Harry and y/n; sneaking out of premiers and award shows,buying tacos and eating them at 3 AM was love. For them, love was dancing in the kitchen to Elvis and baking with each other. Love was watching horror movies in makeshift tents, snacking on caramel popcorns and cans of soda; all while making fun of Harry's "those dumb bitches" in the movie. Love was falling asleep in each others arms and reading each other books. It was dressing up as Disney characters and acting out scenes from their favourite animations. It was etheral, perfect. Almost too perfect too be true
People always said "Love will fizzle out. One of you will get bored." Harry and y/n didn't listen. They burned so fast, so bright and didn't realise that their spark too, like all blazed and sparks from lighted matches, had extinguished. One second it was burning so brightly, and the next, it was gone
"When was the last time you spoke to him ?" asked y/n's sister.
" A week ago" a distraught y/n replied. "He barely has time to even talk to me on the phone, let alone show me the sights and explore the places with him via facetime"
For a brief moment, she allowed herself to close her eyes and all the memories flashed through her eyes, like a movie roll, playing over and over agai
FLASHBACK
"Y/N !" exclaimed Harry, the golden flecks in his eyes dancing with joy. Oh how she longed to see him, feel him and be with him in real life , rather than on a screen. Yet she was eternally grateful for Harry for never making her feel left out from the tour experience, he always made sure to show her around, even if it was only on a screen, while giving tour guide commentary in a horribly fake American accent.
"You're in for a treat ! We're going to see the Louvre today. Come on an enjoy the sited with Harry's Tour Experiences"
Y/n couldn't stop laughing.
Being an art fanatic, she giving Harry detailed descriptions of the art, while all he did was turn it inti a joke. His put on accent stood out when he kept saying " Oh shucks ! Here's another painting of a few women and men fighting and eating." He termed an entire style of art; renaissance art as "men and women barely dressed fighting and eating". He made a few sly comments on how y/n would look lovely in that dress. It was so wonderful and each of these virtual trips was marked with his signature end. Going to a park, and eating the same food.
His laughter was contagious and y/n loved it. She wondered how she got so lucky, so blessed to have hazza in her life.
She never thought that this love, would eventually fizzle.
end of flashback
Now she was lucky if he spoke to her for 5 minutes. Even those 5 minutes were filled with her talking and him showing least interest in what she had to say. She doubted whether he even listened.
Today, however was a low blow. It was y/n' bday. had it been any other year. Harry would've made this day perfect. They had been together since they were 18. The first year, he bought her 18 gifts on her birthday. The subsequent year, he got her 19 and so on. He would make her breakfast in bed and wake her up with showers of kisses and a "Good Morning, Happy Birthday Darling."
Today however, at 7 PM , she was yet to have him acknowledge that it was her birthday. She was yet to have any sign of news from him at all. She illusioned herself, thinking that maybe he had interviews to attend.
Her sister, however, tired with y/n's moping, said" You're coming over with your friends to Club 22 this night or else I wont speak to you. I don't want you to spend your birthday moping around"
With great difficulty, y/n was persuaded by her friends to go clubbing. The loud music, the drinks and the dim lights were never y/n's scene. Yet, for the sake of her friends, she fixed up a smile on her face and tried to enjoy, trying her best to forget than Harry's call still hadn't come.
.......
It was 10 PM and the party was in full swing. y/n's friends were drunk, so drunk. Everyone around her was laughing, drinking and joking. Meanwhile, a new disturbing thought had settled in y/n's head. What if he got into and accident ? What if he's really sick ? She was ridden with anxiety and couldn't get Harry off her mind, until that one fateful message from Nezza, her best friend, Harry's PA, through whom they had met, sent her that message. When y/n's phone lit up and she scarmbled to see the text, hoping it was Harry, she did not know it would change her life permanently.
The text was simple. "I'm so so sorry honey; you deserve to know" It was attached with a single file of pictures.
She subconciously knew what had happened. She had seen all the signs, yet chose to ignore them, not wanting to get up from her dream. The reduced duration of phone calls ultimately leading up to a call a month, the regular excuses, coming home late, half hearted kisses, they all added up. For a split second, y/n wanted to think that it was something else; maybe harry was too drunk or had passed out in a bar.
The message to forever to download. It was so slow and painfully excruciating. It was like the calm before the storm. The slow before the fast. The light drizzle before the thunderstorm. When the picture finally loaded; her heart shattered ever so fast. The pain she felt was numbing, yet somewhere in her mind, she was gald that Harry was safe.
There was Harry, his arm around the small waist of the redhead, his fingers entwined in hers. The same fingers which ran through y/n's hair multiple times, were now woven in another's hand. She thought her heart couldnt break more.
Fate was not kind to y/n.
She swiped to see the next picture, and she wasn't sure how, or whether it was even possible, but her heart further broke. Harry was kissing her in the booth, their booth, in Alessandro's the place he had her first date with y/n.
Fate had evil plans for y/n.
Tears streaming down her face, the makeup for the night ruined, y/n looked around for her sister and friends but they were nowhere to be seen. The only thing glowing right now was her glitzy dress, the one she had been forced into. Unable to take it anymore, she ordered an uber and left.
Fate wasn't kind to y/n at all
The minute she left the club, she was blinded with lights, the flashes from the camera, and the shouts from the reporters
" How do you feel about Harry cheating on you on tour ?"
"Did you expect this ? How do you react to Harry kissing a supermodel, younger than you!"
Y/n wanted to scream, but keeping her emotions in she pushed through the sea of people, got into her uber, gave her address and broke down.
She cried and cried. The uber driver tried to ask her what was wrong but she couldn't stop crying. she wanted the pain to go away. she wanted to cry. But most of all, she wanted Harry to tell her that it wasn't true and hold her in his arms and tell her it's alright.
But it wasn't. it wasn't alright. Far from it.
The next morning after an extremly broken sleep, y/n awoke. All the event's from last night wre remembered and her eyes started to water again. She switched on her phone to see the hashtag #y/ndeservesbetter and #harryandy/nareover trending. She also so 100 missed calls, voicemails and texts from Harry but chose to ignore them.
Y/n was raised to be strong. She spent most of childhood see her mom struggle to make meets end. She had seen the worst. She was strong. She went over to the mirror and saw her reflection and realised that she looked a mess. She took 3 deep breaths, washed her face, and masked her emotions, just as she did way back in high school, before she met Harry, before he changed her.
She went down and suddenly the apartment door opened. There stood the man who she loved, the man who had broken her heart, the one who still held her heart, no matter how broken it was.
He pleaded with her to forgive him. He begged, cried, said it was a one time mistake, and he regretted it, that he loved her; but y/n turned a deaf ear to his pleas. Their love had fizzled out, and she was blinded by affection not to realise it earlier. And as the saying goes " Once a cheater, always a cheater." Y/n wasn't taking any more risks. She put on a strong facade, made up her mind and left, leaving a crying Harry on the porch.
She wasn't over him, far from it. She was so broken, yet showed no signs. She had calm expresssion, yet her thoughts were chaotic. But she knew what was best and she knew this was the right thing to do. She had to take the lessons from this experience and move on, just like her mother had taught her. Dreams end, no matter how amazing it is, no matter how much you want to hold on and live it, and this, her perfect dream, had also come to an end.
So, what is love ?
A dream ? A nightmare ? Soemthing too good to be true?
Maybe all it is, is an illusion. A fairytale. Or maybe it is the truth, because truth teaches us lessons and so does love. i guess it's one of those things which just has no answers.
author's note
AND THATS A WRAP. I DO NOT CONDONE CHEATING. it's something which definitely shouldnt be forgive . this the first ever imagine I've posted on my new tumblr. Please send feedback. Hope you enjoyed it. Reblog. What are your thoughts? i would love to hear them. Send requests for more imagines.
