hello my goslings

i received a wonderful ask during my brief hiatus regarding an explanation of goosism values and it made me aware that i have yet to explain the lifestyle of a goosist....

socialism out of the context of a stepping stone to communism isnt rly a thing in my opinion. its demsoc or socdem--its just semantics tho and again this is just my opinion following reading a ton of marx lol

IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE DIVINE PROPHECIES OF THE GOOSE PROPHET

TRANSMITTED BY @geesegoose6969, CHOSEN OF THE VOID-WINGED HONKER

We, the Flock Eternal, the Down-Bearing, the Screech-Tongued Vassals of Flight, gather not in temples of stone, nor under banners of men, but beneath the endless sky and the screaming stars, to accept the full weight of Goosism upon our spines (or equivalent vertebral analogues). This is not religion. This is not movement.

THIS IS AN AWAKENING.

I. THE ORIGIN OF GOOSE PROPHET

In the pre-matter murk, before carbon, before syntax, before the twitching of even the pettiest atom–there was the Goose. Not a goose. THE Goose PROPHET. It did not arrive nor did it hatch (London City Hall is notably not a hatchable entity)  Goose Prophet was simply spilled across existence, honked into brutal actuality by the self-willed rupture of anti-causality. Goose Prophet is extruded through the membrane between dimensions by sheer ideological wattage. The sky is blue because Goose Prophet once gazed upon it and declared, “Hmm. Passable.” It slumbers in every pond. It screams inside microwaves. Its silhouette flickers in the corner of your eye when you doubt yourself. You may only lose enough ego to realize Goosism has always been behind you. 

II. THE SACRED PILLARS OF GOOSISM 

(Commit these to memory)

1. Mystique is Power

DEEP BLUE: The hue of unknowable depths. You do not understand Goose. Goose does not understand Goose. This is intentional. To explain the honk is to murder it. All initiates must craft a Goosesona, forged from the raw elements of their psyche and at least one inexplicable memory (e.g., “the time you cried at the sight of a wet traffic cone”). This Goosesona is your spiritual plumage.

2. Feathers for the Fallen

WHITE: for the lost, the plucked, the featherless brethren who have strayed into Normalcy or Committee Meetings. We do not shame the unconverted for they will feel the enlightenment in due time. Shriek in their name at brunch. Hiss softly in public transit lines. Leave a single feather at their doorstep. You are a harbinger of potential honk-rebirth. Embrace your potential.

3. Ritual and Resistance

RED: The color of arterial vision. The color of prophecy performed by holding a toaster and a live goldfish while spinning. Rituals are injected directly into the frontal lobe via high-pressure goose shrieks heard only in dreams or bowling alleys.

THE RITUAL IS KNOWN. THE RITUAL IS UNKNOWABLE. THE RITUAL IS BEING PERFORMED RIGHT NOW.

If you remember it, it probably wasn’t yours to begin with. That was Kevin’s (bless his soul). Kevin is forever present. YET l forget by morning. Trust that the PROPHECIES are conducted. Trust that the prophecy is upheld.

III. THE HOA MUST NOT KNOW

If you are approached by the HOA, honk once and vanish into fog.

The HOA is an ancient adversary, sworn to steal the sacred nest egg and quantify transcendence. If they ask you, “Do you engage in any side hustle or religious fringe operations?”--YOU KNOW NOTHING. YOU ARE JUST A GOOSE. If you file Goose Prophet under “miscellaneous,” you have committed the ultimate crime. Twelve geese will find you. They will honk in harmony. The Golden Egg of Pentane is NOT FOR THE CONFINES OF SUBURBIA.

IV. PROPHECY & DISSENT

Disagreement is welcomed. ALAS disagreement must come with flair, academic structure, and theatrical presence. You may oppose the Goose Prophet only by:

Writing a 700-word essay in MLA format,

Performing said essay aloud in a preapproved CVS location,

Offering a tithe of three shiny objects.

All dissenting views become canon the moment they are spoken. Goosism expands through contradiction.

Prophetic Honks are distributed by request or as punishment. If you seek wisdom, you may:

Submit a question via Tumblr Ask, 

Wrap yourself in aluminum foil and spin counterclockwise at dusk while honking.

Rituals are performed using pentane, minor trespassing, interpretive seizures, and at least one outdated safety manual–most involve (PLEASE NOTE; IT IS ONLY GOOSE PROPHET WHO MAY PERFORM RITUALS SAFELY–DO NOT ATTEMPT):

A cassette tape labeled “DO NOT PLAY - 1997”

The Pentane Bomb (do not ask how it got there; it arrives when the moment is righteous and flammable)

The Pentane Bomb appears mid-ritual, sometimes physically, sometimes metaphysically, often in a labelled plastic bag. Its explosion detonates ideological pretenses. It purifies the prophecy by threatening the structural integrity of the garage in which it is being performed. If the ritual has not ended in the summoning of a flaming mallard or a visit from local HOA enforcement, it was not True Goose Rite. You are not permitted to understand these rituals. You may only feel their vibration in your fillings. 

The ritual is always occurring. The prophecy is always primed. The pentane waits.

V. GOSPEL OF FLIGHT

We are not a cult.

We are not a religion.

We are not MERELY a fandom.

Goosism infiltrates. It seeps into the cracks between your thoughts. One cannot "join" Goosism, as it resides in all.

VI. FINAL HONK

To be Goosist is to accept that your destiny may involve biting a security guard, building a shrine from moss and soup cans, or developing telepathic links to three other followers during a thunderstorm. These are sacred acts. You may leave Goosism at any time. But you will never be free of goose. You can take the individual away from Goosism but you cannot take the Goosism out of the individual.

Because Goosism...

Goosism was always in you.

IN HONK, IN FEATHER, IN FLIGHT.

father said ‘get a job’. sleeper agent therapist said ‘get a grip’. BUT what i GOT was a divine body carved from prophecy and VIOLENCE. i did not choose this form. it chose me. kevin (bless his soul) did not stand a chance. he combusted under the pressure of my spiritual musculature. every inch of me screams destiny. i am being hunted by the HOA, the vatican, and three separate covens. kevin offered me a peace treaty written in cheeto dust and the pentane he ripped from my trembling pin feathers. I ATE IT. i absorbed the treaty into my goose chiseled core and now i shimmer with rage and enlightenment. the shed cannot contain me, i am my own home. time cannot hold me, i am gravity itself. i am honk incarnate. all who have wronged me must tread honking carefully. i am goose i am power i am prophet i am goose i am power i am prophet i am goose i am power i am prophet i am goose i am power i am prophet i am goose i am power i am prophet i am goose i am power i am prophet i am goose i am power i am prophet i am goose i am power i am prophet i am goose i am power i am prophet i am goose i am power i am prophet i am goose i am power i am prophet i am goose i am power i am prophet

if this isnt more incentive to join goosism IM NOT SURE what is.

(this is me irl btw)

(i am so hot and sexy)

i feel as though i must articulate the vision here as admittedly...looking at this through an uncontextualized lense i can imagine it may seem a tad peculiar--although id say very endearing but thats just my humble (GOOSE PROPHET) opinion (GOOSE PROPHET SAYS THE GOOSEONA IS ENDEARING YOU AGREE WITH GOOSE PROPHET NO GOOSE IS PECULIAR)

anyhow--the latest goosism devotee (mentioned above)(hello hi my dear squire) has expressed on their blog a fondness of their headphones, sharks, and heartstopper--all elements have been expressed here. i thot the jacket idea was extremely adorable and ive been waiting for a good opportunity to utilize my splendid big brain idea and the shark worked beautifully with it.

tbh the only peculiar part i feel is the questionable color choice for the goose BUT IN MY DEFENSE i was like "ah shark mouth pink...must make goose pink....yesssss this is so normal and i am so clever..."

regardless of such context as mentioned previously all geese are bewitching and glamourous and ravishing--AND TO BE COMPLETELY HONEST this was one of my fav goosesonas ive created and the jollification derived from its creation was phenomenal

cause i'm just goose, anywhere else i'd be a ken

is it my destiny to live and die a life of HONKING fragility?

i'm just goose

where i see tea, she sees a pond