AU idea :

Our dear Mr. Graves is a wedding planner. His new clients are a young couple, Mr. Scamander and a Miss Goldstein, soon-to-become Mrs. Scamander. 

Mr. Scamander (”Please, call me Newt”) always seems a bit distracted, and sheepish, like he’s done something wrong. Tina Goldstein is shy in front of Mr. Graves, but once he’s put them at ease she proves to be a very strong minded person, much more energetic and straight forward than Newt. Somehow, the two of them fit well together. Tina softens when she’s with Newt, and Newt lightens up and pays more attention to his surroundings.

Graves talks them through the process : what questions he’ll have to ask to get an insight into what they want, what he’ll be taking care of, when their input will be asked for, how long and how often they’ll be seeing him until the wedding, etc. They get into it right away. Graves learns how they met (turns out Tina arrested Newt for breaking the law), how they ended up solving a case together and how they fell for each other in the process. How they then kept a long distance relationship for a while before seeing each other again, and how Tina finally proposed, fives years after they met, three after they moved in together in New York. Graves likes their story - it’s more unusual than most couples - and decides he’ll do his job perfectly for them. 

He always does, but this time he finds himself weirdly invested in it.

They see each other quite often, at least once a week, and if they can’t, they call. Newt and Tina seem very at ease with him, and so does he. Conversations about the wedding turn into casual conversations about daily life without Graves even noticing it.

Fast forward a few months and our dear Percival Graves comes to the realisation that he might have a crush on one, or both (depending on who you ship) of his clients. I love Goldgramander, so we’re gonna go with both of them. (If he’d just fallen for Newt, or Tina, and it was reciprocated, I feel like the story would be angsty, and we don’t need angst.) 

So. Graves comes to the realization that he likes Newt and Tina much more than he should, and that at some point, the professionnal boundaries have begun to blur on both sides. He knows Newt doesn’t get along with his brother, he knows the names of their four cats and two dogs, he knows Tina got demoted at some point, knows that according to Newt sometimes she snores and it’s adorable, and so on and so forth. Much more intimate details than he should ever know. And he can’t help but visualize it, visualize them, in the intimacy of their home, and how he’d fit in there if he could. 

So he flirts. He can’t help it. And shockingly - they flirt back. Well, at least he thinks they do. Tina certainly does. With Newt it’s hard to tell - he once said Percival’s eyes were like those of a salamander’s, was that flirting? - but Percival thinks he might be. It’s fun. It makes Percival all flustered when they do it. 

But the wedding is fast approaching. Percival knows he’ll have to let them go, no matter how fond of them he feels. Then they invite him to the wedding. He refuses. That’s way too much. He’s supposed to fade in the background now. His role is done. 

So for a while he does. The wedding goes perfectly. He knows because a couple weeks later he gets an email, from Newt and Tina, with attached pictures of their marriage. They look very good together, and incredibly happy. His heartache renewed, Graves sends back a perfunctory congratulations email and says he’s glad they were satisfied with his services. 

And then maybe, just maybe, they reply back and say they’d like to invite him to dinner as a more personnal thank you. 

Or maybe, just maybe, straightforward and daring Tina comes see him at work one day and asks him out. Says Newt agrees, says they both discussed and found they really liked him, say he’s free to refuse, etc. And Graves is shocked at first, but then - very very happy. He accepts the invitation. They end up having dinner at his house, where he admits that he has liked them for a while too, but well - it was complicated. They were gonna get married, and he’s an old man, and -- 

It’s at this point that one of them kisses him, he’s not sure which, maybe both, oh that’s Newt, so the one coming up behind him must be Tina, and oooh, oh, oh dear. The wine makes his head swim. Or maybe it’s the kisses. Tina’s lipstick is smudged. Newt is making bedroom eyes at him. 

Uh. Maybe this could work after all. 

(and that’s the story of how a lonely, middle aged handsome wedding planner fell for the couple he was working for, and how they all ended up happy together. the end.) 

I’d do it today, but there are a few back-end things I need to do first, so I’m scheduling it for Saturday night or Sunday morning. I will have a shiny new list of ships for you all (yes, I’m expanding my boundaries!) as well as an updated squick/will-not-write list which will hopefully work on mobile. The plan is to do a drabble a day for November but if I get enough prompts and the muse cooperates, maybe I can do it for October as well! :D

Tina: I should be the one that's upset. It's supposed to be me and Newt. Or me and Mr Graves. Or Newt and Graves with me watching!

(Parks and Recreation; Season 2, Episode 21: 94 Meetings)

“There, that’s it - hold her just like that, Mr. Graves. You’re doing splendidly.”Newt strokes the baby occamy’s head with the pad of one finger, grinning at Percival like he’s just lit up the sun. The tiny creature, fragile and still wet from the egg, cheeps happily and curls itself more securely around his forearm. “What are you going to name her?” Newt asks. He’s so close Percival can feel the heat radiating off his skin, can take in the soft scent of hay and horses and other creatures, undercut by Newt’s own gentle musk. He catches himself just in time - stopping himself from inhaling too deeply and embarrassing them both. “Oh! I umm…” Percival falters, “Perhaps… Elise? It suits her.”Newt’s chuckle is bright like sunshine. The sound works its way into the place just under his heart and warms his entire chest. When Percival looks at Newt - he finds the magieoologist’s blue-green eyes crinkling, his mouth drawn up in a happy grin. It makes Percival happy. He realizes he wants to see that smile more - he wants to be the root of that smile. And then shock sets in. Elise churrs in his hand, as if sensing the change. 

Oh no.

A coffee mug clinks down on Percival’s desk. He cranes his head up, blinking blearily. When the fog finally fades, he realizes Tina Goldstein is standing before him, a plate in hand, and is the reason there is now a mug of steaming coffee on his desk.The glow from the hall backlights her splendidly - causing her hair to shimmer and the shadows to play across the soft plains of her face. She looks almost Fae in this light - jaw sharpened, eyes dark and liquid. “I don’t have the authority to make you go home,” she says, tight and unsure of the line still drawn between them, “But I’m not going to let you go another twenty four hours without eating. So eat.”It’s a plate of what Percival assumes is what Tina had for dinner - roast beef and mashed potatoes and peas. His stomach takes the moment to remind him that yes, he is hungry. Tina chuckles when he clasps a hand to his belly, fighting down the instinct to flush and make up excuses. “Thank you,” he says softly, accepting the plate and the offered cutlery. Tina just smiles, ducking her head in that shy little way of hers - the way she does when she receives praise. Then, she pulls up a chair and curls herself into it. Her movements are elegant and refined when she’s relaxed, Percival has noticed. He enjoys seeing Tina like this, where she doesn’t feel the need to justify her existence to everyone. “It’s no fun to eat alone,” she explains, gesturing to the plate. Percival’s eye follows the sleek line of her pale wrist, before swallowing dryly. “It isn’t,” he remarks. Percival’s heart goes tight at the sadness that suddenly crosses Tina’s beautiful face, before that familiar shock comes back.

Oh no. Oh no. 

Percival dreams about them. He wakes in the morning with a tightness in his chest - and sometimes other places, feeling very much like he’s still a schoolboy with a schoolboy crush. 

Is that what this is? A crush? Crushes? On a subordinate and a consultant, both of which he’d been partly responsible for harming last year?

“Pull yourself together, old man,” he growls to himself, yanking back the covers and flinging himself from the bed. They wouldn’t want you anyways. Percival goes to work with a sense of longing which has become a shadow - an old friend that follows him around and makes his chest ache. 

When he accidentally spots them together, on lunch break when he’s just nipped out to grab some takeaway, that ache morphs into a lance which pierces his bruised and battered heart. Percival ducks behind the wall, pressing his back up against it and listens to them speaking to each other softly. Just little things - little sweet nothings and muted conversation. But it’s enough to drive a man mad, Percival thinks. And yet, he’s always been a glutton for punishment. So he stays, and listens, and maybe he loses whatever vestige of his sanity is left. Maybe if he stays long enough, he can make himself not care. (Who is he kidding?)Oh no. Oh no. Oh no-oh  no-oh no.

Ship:  Newt Scamander/Percival Graves/Tina Goldstein For:  @katiehavok Prompt:  #27.  Renting a cabin (I tweaked this prompt a little.  It’s a Scamander family property instead of a rental.  But it’s still a cabin. ;) )

Newt set his case down on the dusty floor of the cabin, looking around excitedly. 

It was dark.  An almost peculiar darkness pervaded the entire space.  

Tina reached into her pocket for her wand.She wasn't the best with housekeeping spells, but anything was better than this.  

"So, Newt...when you said it had been a while since you'd been here, you weren't kidding…"  Percival looked around the dark room and flicked his own wand, illuminating the room and causing both himself and Tina to gasp.  

It was decidedly… larger than what the outside conveyed.  

Tina laughed.  "Oh I see. It's bigger on the inside."

"Indeed it is," Newt said proudly.  “Never judge a book by its cover.  Or a cabin by its size.”  

Send ‘✩’ for the following:

Disagreements:

Who is more likely to raise their voice?

Tina and Graves. But definitely Tina. 

Who threatens to leave but never actually does?

Tina

Who actually keeps their word and leaves?

Graves

Who trashes the house?

Tina which usually frightens and worries Newt when it happens

Do either of them get physical?

No. Never.

How often do they argue/disagree?

……….fairly frequently

Who is the first to apologise?

All of them. More so Newt followed by Tina and lastly Percival

Sex:

Who is on top?

They all switch about. But Percival tends to be the more dominant one.

Who is on the bottom?

Again, they take turns. But typically it’s Tina or Newt.

Who has the strangest desires?

Tina and Percival.

Any kinks?

Biting, scratching, occasional bondage, rope work possibly

Who’s dominant in bed?

See the answer for who’s on top. 

Is head ever in the equation?

HELL YES

If so, who is better at performing it?

…. *cough*Tina*cough*

Ever had sex in public?

…does at work count? Actually… yeah… there was that one time with Newt.

Who moans the most?

Tina or Newt

Who leaves the most marks?

All the above… (but totally Tina)

Who screams the loudest?

Tina.

Who is the more experienced of the two?

Percival

Do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’?

Both

Rough or soft?

Both

How long do they usually last?

It depends on the situation now doesn’t it?

Is protection used?

Absolutely. In some magical form or another.

Does it ever get boring?

Hell no.

Where is the strangest place they’d have sex?

Does in Newt’s case count?

Family:

Do your muses plan on having children/or have children?

Tina does

If so, how many children do your muses want/have?

At least one

Who is the favorite parent?

Newt

Who is the authoritative parent?

Percival

Who is more likely to allow the children to have a day off school?

Tina and Newt. But more so Newt

Who lets the children indulge in sweets and junk food when the other isn’t around?

Newt

Who turns up to extra curricular activities to support their children?

Percival.

Who goes to parent teacher interviews?

All

Who changes the diapers?

All

Who gets up in the middle of the night to feed the baby?

All

Who spends the most time with the children?

Tina and Newt (Not that Percival doesn’t want to it’s just that being a Director is very demanding work)

Who packs their lunch boxes?

Newt

Who gives their children ‘the talk’?

Newt and Tina

Who cleans up after the kids?

Tina and Newt

Who worries the most?

All of them

Who are the children more likely to learn their first swear word from?

Percival

Affection:

Who likes to cuddle?

Newt and Tina

Who is the little spoon?

Tina

Who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places?

Percival and Tina

Who struggles to keep their hands to themself?  

Percival and Tina

How long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable?

Is that even such a thing?

Who gives the most kisses?

Tina

What is their favourite non-sexual activity?

Reading in companionable silence.

Where is their favourite place to cuddle?

At home, in bed or on the couch

Who is more likely to playfully grope the other? 

All of them would totally do that.

How often do they get time to themselves?

Often enough.

Sleeping:

Who snores?

Percival on occasion

If both do, who snores the loudest?

N/A

Do they share a bed or sleep separately?

Share one massive bed.

If they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart?

Depends on the weather to be honest. In the winter they cozy up but in the summer they like having their space.

Who talks in their sleep?

Newt

What do they wear to bed?

Well that certainly would depend on what they got up to before bed

Are either of your muses insomniacs?

All of them are

Can sleeping pills be found by the bedside?

Nope

Do they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side?

Again it depends on the season

Who wakes up with bed hair?

Newt and Tina

Who wakes up first?

Newt and Percival

Who prepares breakfast in bed for the other?

Newt

What is their favourite sleeping position?

They don’t really have a single one they like the most.

Who hogs the sheets?

Tina.

Do they set an alarm each night?

Yup. Though Newt tends to be the alarm with how early he always gets up XD

Can a television be found in their bedroom?

Nope

Who has nightmares?

Percival and Tina

Who has ridiculous dreams?

Newt

Who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed? 

Tina

Who makes the bed? 

Newt

What time is bed time? 

It really depends.

Any routines/rituals before bed?

Dinner, personal grooming whatever that may entail for that evening, occasionally some hankey pankey, followed up brushing teeth and passing out.

Who’s the grumpiest when they wake up?

Tina and Percival

Work:

Who is the busiest?

Percival

Who rakes in the highest income?

Percival first and Newt second with Tina in the running for third place

Are any of your muses unemployed?

Nope

Who takes the most sick days?

Newt cause he doesn’t really have a BOSS to answer to XD

Who is more likely to turn up late to work?

Tina

Who sucks up to their boss?

*cough* XDDDDDDDDD

What are their jobs?

Director of Magical Security, Auror, and Magizoologist

Who stresses the most?

Tina followed by both Newt and Percival

Do your muses enjoy or despise their careers/occupations?

They all love their jobs

Are your muses financially stable?

Yup

Home:

Who does the washing?

Newt

Who takes out the trash?

They take turns with that

Who does the ironing?

Newt

Who does the cooking?

Tina and Percival

Who is more likely to burn the house down just trying?

Tina in the beginning and Newt

Who is messier? 

Tina

Who leaves the toilet roll empty?

Tina

Who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor?

Tina and on occasion Newt

Who forgets to flush the toilet?

No one

Who is the prankster around the house?

Mainly Newt and Tina

Who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere?

Newt (WE CAN BLAME THE NIFFLER FOR IT)

Who mows the lawn?

They have help for that

Who answers the telephone?

Percival and Newt

Who does the vacuuming?

Tina and Newt

Who does the groceries?

They all take turns with that.

Who takes the longest to shower?

Percival 

Who spends the most time in the bathroom?

Percival and sometimes on rare occasions Tina.

Miscellaneous:

Is money a problem?

Nope

How many cars do they own?

Cars aren’t really their thing… but I guess at least one

Do they own their home or do they rent?

Own

Do they live near the coast or deep in the countryside?

Just outside the city

Do they live in the city or in the country? 

The country more so. Less people

Do they enjoy their surroundings?

Well enough. 

What’s their song?

(I HAVE TO GET BACK TO YOU ON THAT)

What do they do when they’re away from each other?

Be individuals who can function in a healthy manner apart from their significant others.

Where did they first meet?

Good god that is far too long a story to sum up here.

How did they first meet?

See above

Who spends the most money when out shopping?

Percival

Who’s more likely to flash their assets?

Percival

Who finds it amusing when the other trips over?

All of them find it somewhat adorable.

Any mental issues?

PTSD for Graves, Stress/Anxiety/Depression/Panic Attacks for Tina, and lord only knows for Newt.

Who’s terrified of bugs?

Tina

Who kills the spiders around the house?

Percival (which upsets Newt greatly. “DON’T KILL LIVING CREATURES DAMN IT!”)

Their favourite place?

At home or in Newts case, away from people

Who pays the bills?

Percival

Do they have any fears for their future?

Who doesn’t?

Who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner?

Percival hands down

Who uses up all of the hot water? 

*stares at Percival*

Who’s the tallest?

Newt

Who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other?

All of them would to be honest.

Who wanders around in their underwear?

Tina

Who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio?

Tina

What do they tease each other about?

All sorts of things.

Who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times?

Percival is constantly exasperated by both Newt and Tina. But mainly by Tina.

Do they have mutual friends?

Of course.

Who crushed first? 

They’re not high schoolers. They’re grown mature adults.

Any alcohol or substance related problems?

*stares at Percival* Some folks like their Firewhiskey

Who is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am?

*cough*Percival*cough*

Who swears the most?