summary: After waking up from surgery still under anesthesia, you meet a ridiculously pretty stranger who claims to be your boyfriend. Convinced he's too perfect to be real, you spend the next hour flirting with him.
word count: 2.1 k
warnings: fluff, post-surgery / anesthesia humor, memory loss (temporary), established relationship, bucky barnes being soft, tooth-rotting fluff, mild embarrassment, idiots in love.
a/n: how crazy is that there's already +400 people following me now? I started working on this thing when I was a bit under 300 and timing was crazy. So I saw this tiktok & came with this silly idea lol not used to writing this much fluff, but I hope you enjoy it. (Also, update on rockstar!Bucky coming soon.) | dividers by @enchanthings
You blinked down slowly, the world swimming into focus in patches of white and blue. Hospital room, beeping machines, andâ oh.
There was a man sitting beside your bed. A really really pretty man. Dark hair, sharp jaw, shoulders that looked like they were personally crafted by Michelangelo. And his eyes, of the most ridiculous shade of blue you've ever seen.
"Hi," you breathed, the word slurring slightly. "Are you real?"
The pretty man's lips twitched into a smile. "Yeah, sweetheart, I'm real. How you feeling?"
"Floaty," you admitted, trying to lift your hand but it felt like it weighted a thousand pounds. "Everything's⊠soft. Are you a nurse? You're the prettiest nurse I've ever seen."
He laughed and the sound made your fuzzy brain light up. "I'm not a nurse, baby. I'm Bucky, your boyfriend."
You squinted at him suspiciously. "No."
"No?"
"No," you said firmly. "Because if you were my boyfriend I'd definitely remember. I would remember so hard you'd be all I ever thought about. I'd be insufferable about it."
"You're insufferable about it," he said, grinning now. He reached out and took your hands, his thumb stroking over your knuckles. One hand was warm, the other was cool metal. "You literally have a folder on your phone called 'Bucky being pretty' with like three hundred photos in it."
Your eyes went wide. "I do?"
"Yes, you do."
"âŠcan I see?"
"After you're more awake." He was trying so hard not to laugh. "The nurse said you'd be loopy for a bit."
"I'm not loopy," you insisted, then immediately contradicted yourself by reaching up to poke his face. "You're loopy. Your face is loopy. Too pretty, not fair." Your finger booped his nose. "Boop."
Bucky caught your hand before you could poke him again, pressing a kiss to your palm. The gesture was so tender it made your drugged heart skip. "You tell me that a lot."
"Well, it is true." You tried to sit up and failed spectacularly. Bucky immediately stood up, his hands gentle as he helped adjust your pillows. "Woah, you're really tall too. How tall are you? Like eight feet?"
"Just six feet, baby."
"That's so many feet." You grabbed at his jacket as he tried to sit back down. "Wait, come back. I need to look at you more."
"I'm right here." But he stayed standing, letting you stare up at him with unbashed wonder.
"Your eyes are blue," you announced, like you'd discovered something groundbreaking.
"They are."
"Like⊠aggresively blue. Who gave you permission to have eyes that blue? That's illegal, you should be arrested." You gasped suddenly. "Wait, are you a criminal? Is that why you're in the hospital? Are you on the run?"
"I'm not on the run, I'm here because my girlfriend had surgery and I wanted to take care of her and make sure she was okay."
You processed this slowly, then after a minute of silence, you said: "Your girlfriend is so lucky."
"Yeah?" His smile was soft, affectionate in a way that made your chest warm even through the drug haze.
"Yeah. I hope she knows how lucky she is, if I had a boyfriend that looked like youâ" you sighed dreamily. "I'd never let you leave, I'd just stare at you all day. I'd cancel plans, I'd call in sick to work 'sorry, can't come in, too busy looking at my boyfriend's face."
Bucky actually had to cover his mouth to hide his laughter. "That so?"
"MmhmmâŠ" You tried to focus on him but everything kept going a little fuzzy at the edged. "What's your girlfriend like? Is she pretty? She's probably pretty, you seem like you have good taste."
"She's beautiful," he said quietly. "Smartest person I know, funny, brave as hell, a little reckless sometimes, which gives me heart attacks. But yeah, she's pretty perfect."
Your drugged brain felt emotions about this that you couldn't quite name. "Wow, you really love her."
"More than anything."
"That'sâŠ" your eyes were getting misty. "That's so nice, everyone should be loved like that. I wanna be loved like that." You looked up at him with the saddest eyes. "Do you think anyone will ever love me like that?"
Bucky's expression did something complicated. He sat back down on the edge of your bed, taking both of your hands in his. "Baby⊠sweetheart, I'm talking about you. You're my girlfriend."
You blinked slowly. "âŠI am?"
"Yes."
"ButâŠ" You looked down at your hands, then back up at his face. "But you're so pretty."
"So are you."
"And nice, you seem really nice."
"You're nicer."
"And you have good hair." You reached up to touch it and he let you, patient as a saint while your clumsy fingers carded through the strands."It's so soft, do you condition? What's your routine? I need your routine."
"You bought me the conditioner," he said, amused. "You did a whole presentation about hair care."
"I did?" You perked up. "Was it good? Did I use a PowerPoint?"
"It was very thorough, had charts and everything."
"Past me is so smart." Your hand dropped from his hair to his face, cupping his cheek. Your thumb traced his cheekbone, then down to his jaw. "You have a really good bone structure, like⊠really good. Are you a model?"
"Not a model."
"You should be, you'd be great at it. You'd just stand there being pretty and everyone would throw money at you." You gasped dramatically. "Do you even have a job?"
"I'm an Avenger."
Your jaw dropped. "Like⊠the superheroes?"
"Yep."
"Oh my god, you're a superhero! A pretty superhero." You looked at him with renewed awe. "What's your power? Is it being pretty? Because that should count."
He was fully grinning now. "I've got a vibranium arm. Super soldier serum."
"Can I see the arm?"
Bucky glanced at the door, then shrugged off his jacket and rolled up his sleeve, revealing the black and gold vibranium arm. Your drugged gasp was deeply gratifying.
"That's so cool!" You grabbed at it, running your fingers over the plates. "It's pretty. You're pretty. Everything about you it's pretty⊠do you sparkle in the sunlight?"
"That's vampires, baby."
"Are you a vampire?"
"No."
"Are you sure? Because you look like you could be a vampire. A really hot vampire." You squinted at him. "Smile, let me see your teeth."
He humored you, smiling wide. You peered at his teeth very seriously. "Okay not a vampire, just a regular pretty person." You seemed satisfied with his conclusion. "Can I tell you a secret?"
"Always."
You leaned in conspiratorially, nearly falling out of the bed. Bucky caught you easily, steadying you. "I think I have a crush on you."
"Do you now?"
"The biggest crush. An embarrassing crush." You bit your lip. "But you have a girlfriend so I shouldn't be saying this⊠that's not good etiquette, I apologize." You tried to look serious. "I respect your relationship, even though I'm dying inside.
"Noted," he was shaking with silent laughter now. "What if I told you that you're the girlfriend?"
"Then I'd say you're lying because there's no wayâ" you gestured vaguely at him. "âthat someone who looks like that would date someone like me."
"And what's someone like you?"
"You know, regular, average⊠not a superhero. Probably have weird hobbies." You paused. "Do I have weird hobbies?"
"I don't thinks is weird, but you enjoy collecting vintage objectsâ"
"See? Boring."
"I think it's cute."
You stared at him. "Okay, but if we're actually datingâwhich I still don't believeâbut IF we are, then I need to know some thingsâŠ"
"Shoot."
"Have I kissed you?"
"Many times."
Your hand flew to your mouth. "Oh my god."
"Just yesterday you kissed me goodbye like five times because you kept forgetting things and having to come back inside."
"What else? What else have we done? Have weâ" You lowered your voice to a whisper. "âheld hands?"
"We live together."
The machine monitoring your heart started beeping faster. "We what?"
"We share an apartment⊠have for three months now. We meal prep on Sundaysâ"
"That's so domestic!" You clutched his hand tighter. "Oh my god, am I living my dream? Is this real life?"
"Very real life."
"Prove it. Tell me something only my boyfriend would know."
Bucky thought for a moment, his smile going soft. "You talk in your sleep, usually about work, but sometimes you just say random stuff. Last week you had a full conversation whether cats understand democracy. You also steal all the blankets and I have to burrito wrap you to get any covers. And when you're really tired, you make me play with your hair until you fall asleep."
Your eyes were getting watery again. "That sounds nice."
"It is nice, the best part of my day."
"Even the blanket stealing?"
"Even that."
A nurse peeked in, smiling at the scene. "How's our patient doing?"
"She's very high," Bucky said.
"I'm in love," you corrected, squeezing his hand. "With him, this pretty man. He says he's my boyfriend but I think he might be a hallucination because he's too perfect."
The nurse laughed. "He's been here since they brought you in, hasn't left your side."
"Really?" You looked up at Bucky with wonder.
"Really," he confirmed.
The nursed checked your vitals, adjusted your IV and gave you some ice chips to suck on. "The anesthesia should wear off in another hour or so. You'll probably be pretty tired though."
After she left, you went back to staring at Bucky. "Can I ask you a question?"
"Anything."
"If we're dating, can I kiss you?"
His smile could've powered the sun. "You don't have to ask for permission, sweetheart. But maybe wait until you're a little less loopy?"
"What if I forget? What if the drugs wear off and I forget that I'm allowed to kiss you and I just pine forever?"
"Then I'll remind you. Like I do every morning."
"Every morning," you repeated dreamily. "We have mornings together. Plural mornings."
"So many mornings." You yawned suddenly, the exhaustion hitting you. Bucky stood and adjusted your bed so you could lie back more comfortably. "Get some rest, baby."
"Will you stay?"
"I'm not going anywhere."
"Promise?"
"Promise." He settled back into the chair, but kept hold of your hand.
"Bucky?"
"Yeah?"
"When I wake up and I'm not high anymore, will you still be this pretty?"
He brought your joined hands up and kissed your knuckles, his eyes crinkling with tat smile you'd apparently been cataloging in a folder for months. "Guess you'll have to wait and see."
"Can't wait," you mumbled, eyes already drifting closed. "Gonna wake up with the prettiest boyfriend in the world."
"Get some sleep, sweetheart."
"Okay, but just so you knowâ" you forced your eyes open one more time to look at him. "âif we really are dating, then I'm the luckiest person alive."
"Funny, I was thinking the same thing."
You fell asleep with his hand in yours, the steady beep of the monitors, and a smile on your face.
Two hours later.
You woke up slowly, the fog clearing from your brain. Everything came back in piecesâthe surgery, the recovery room, and oh god, Bucky. Your boyfriend Bucky. Who you'd apparently hit on while high.
He was still there, slouched in the in the uncomfortable hospital chair, scrolling through his phone. When he noticed you were awake, his whole face lit up.
"Hey," he said softly. "Welcome back, how you feeling?"
"Mortified," you croaked. "Please tell me I didn't say anything too embarrassing."
His grin was evil. "Define too embarrassing."
"Buckyâ"
"You told me I should be arrested for having blue eyes. You asked if I sparkled in the sunlight. You said you had a crush on me and then apologized because you didn't want to disrespect my relationship."
You covered your face with both hands. "Oh my god."
"Oh and you called my face 'loopy'". He was definitely laughing now. "And you said you'd call in sick to work just to stare at me all day."
"I hate you."
"No you don't. You love me, you told me so multiple times, very emphatically." He stood and came to bed, gently pulling your hands away from your face. "For the record, I recorded about five minutes of it."
"You what?!"
"For posterity." His eyes were sparkling with mischief. "And for the next time you try to say I'm not pretty."
"I didn'tâI don'tâ" You couldn't even form a defense. "You are pretty."
"So you keep telling me." He leaned down and kissed your forehead, then your nose, then your lips. "Feeling better?"
"Physically, yes. Emotionally, destroyed."
"Well the good news is the surgery went great. The bad news is I'm definitely showing that video at our wedding."
"Bucky!"
But you were smiling, and so was he, and honestly? You'd embarrass yourself a hundred times over if it meant waking up to that face. Even if you already knew you were allowed to kiss it.
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That was odd. No one wouldâve guessed that Bucky Barnes even liked flowers.
What was even odder was that this infinitely grumpy, emotionally constipated, âI hate peopleâ supersoldier â would be capable of flirting.
With the florist.
With you.
âAre we seeing this right?â Yelena whispered, elbowing Alexei as they peered through the shop window after Bucky made them wait outside.Â
They watched as Bucky stood by the counter, leaning in ever so slightly, a charming grin tugging at the corner of his mouth as he watched you wrap a bouquet.
âHeâs smiling,â Alexei muttered, horrified.
Inside, Bucky reached for the bouquet you were tying up, his gloved fingers brushing against yours. You playfully smacked his hand away, laughing. He laughed, too, and that was enough to send Yelena spiraling into an existential crisis.
Yelena squinted. âHeâs flirting.â
Alexei frowned. âBucky does not flirt.â
âI know. Thatâs why Iâm freaking out.â
They watched as you handed him the bouquet, and in return, Bucky gave you a wink. And then he turned, walking out like he hadnât just transformed into a different person.
That was when Yelena, utterly horrified Yelena, caught a flash of gold on your ring finger. She squinted her eyes. It was unmistakable. âWait a secondââ
As soon as he got back to them, Alexei folded his arms. âYou were flirting.â
Bucky scoffed. âI was not.â
âSheâs married!â Yelena accused, pointing dramatically. âShe had a ring! You flirted with a married woman!â
Bucky didnât even blink. He simply shrugged, tucking the bouquet carefully under his arm. âI didnât see a ring.â
âShe was literally wearing itââ
âI didnât see a ring,â Bucky insisted, tugging absentmindedly at the chain around his neckâ the one that held his dog tags, hidden under his shirt.
Yelena and Alexei exchanged a deeply disturbed look.
Bucky Barnes was flirting with a married florist.
What was the world coming to?
â
Bucky knew heâd fucked up the second he stepped back into Thunderbolts HQ.Â
Alexie had just looked confused, while Yelena had been simmering the entire walk back, her arms crossed so tightly over her chest it was a miracle she hadnât snapped a rib.Â
She lasted exactly two seconds before she exploded. âYou are jackass, Barnes!â
Bucky barely had time to sigh before she stomped closer.
âWhatâs so wrong with what I did?â he muttered, placing the bouquet of flowers in an empty vase
Yelena let out an incredulous laugh, pacing in front of him like a caged tiger ready to strike. âWhatâs wrong?â she echoed, her accent thickening with rage. âYou flirted with a married woman! I should punch you in the face on principle!â
From the lounge, John Walker looked up from whatever government-issued nonsense he was pretending to read. His brows immediately furrowed, his eyes twisting into the signature disapproving dad look heâd perfected. âWait, what?â
Ava, who had been drinking tea in the corner, raised an eyebrow. âThis is scandalous,â she murmured, eyes brightening with intrigue.
Alexei, who was now plopped on the couch like some washed-up, Soviet-era king, said, âIf a man had flirted with my wife like that, I would have hunt him down and mount his head on wall.â He crossed his arms, nodding to himself in approval. âAs is tradition.â
Bucky scowled. âI wasnât flirting.â
âOh?â Yelena snorted, âSo you were just undressing her with your eyes for fun, then?â
Bucky rolled his eyes. âThatâs just how I look at people.â
Alexie shook his head. âSo you look at us like that?â
Bucky opened his mouth. Then immediately shut it.
Yelenaâs hands curled into fists. âYeah. Thought so.â
Johnâs arms crossed over his chest in that holier-than-thou stance that he was so famous for. âLook, man, Iâm married. And if someone flirted with my wife, weâd have a problem.â
âOh, fuck off,â Bucky groaned, dragging a hand down his face. âYou guys are making a big deal out of nothing.â
âNothing?â Yelena threw up her hands. âSheâs married, Bucky!â
âOkay, even if I was flirting,â Bucky turned to her, exasperatedâ âI didnât see a ring.â
Yelenaâs hands flew to her head, fingers digging into her scalp like she was resisting the urge to rip out her own hair. âYou probably chose to look away!â
John sighed like a disappointed youth pastor. âThis is unbelievable.â
âNo,â Bucky still insisted, âI didnât see a ring.â
Yelenaâs jaw dropped. âIt was a thick gold band, Barnes. How could you not see it?â
Ava, who was clearly enjoying the drama more than anyone, sighed. âThat is inappropriate behaviour, Barnes.â
Alexei shook his head again, âYou should apologise.â
âIâm not apologising,â Bucky scoffed, âBecause I did nothing wrong.â
His fingers toyed absentmindedly with the chain that led to his dog tags, and Yelena immediately locked onto the movement. Every person has a tell, a habit they did when they were nervous. And being a super spy, Yelena knew this was his.
She narrowed her eyes. âYou are gaslighting us,â she muttered, pacing again like she was mentally weighing the pros and cons of strangling a super soldier.
âI didnât see a ring,â Bucky repeated, his voice steady.
âYouâre lying,â she snapped.
He shrugged, maddeningly casual in all of this chaos. âGuess weâll never know.â
Ava laughed cynically. âI canât tell if youâre a complete scumbag or if this is just really fun for you.â
Bucky just popped a beer from the fridge, flicking the cap off with his metal hand. âWhy not both?â
He took a long sip of his beer, completely unbothered.
And maybe, he looked a little bit too smug.
â
Three weeks later, Bucky led Yelena and John on a mission to take down a high-scale arms dealer.
And, as always, the mission had gone sideways.
It was too late for any shops to be open, too late for anyone with a shred of common sense to be out on the streets.Â
Yelena was bleeding, pressing a torn scrap of fabric against a deep gash on her arm. John had a busted lip and a slight limp. Bucky was sporting a few cuts and bruises himself, but nothing he hadnât shaken off a thousand times before.
âGuys,â Yelena managed a grunt, shifting her grip on her makeshift bandage, âwe need to get ourselves patched up before one of us drops dead.â
âWe ran out of antiseptics back at HQ,â John reminded them.
Yelena groaned, throwing her head back in despair. âSo what are we supposed to do?â She gritted out, âJust bleed out in the street like sad little orphans?â
John scowled. âThatâs a little dramatic.â
Yelena turned and glared at him. âYour face is dramatic.â
Bucky let out a deep breath through his nose, running a hand along his damp hair. He glanced around the street, making sure they werenât being followed before whispering to himself, âGuess weâre doing this now.â
Yelena tilted her head. âDoing what?â
Instead of answering, Bucky turned on his heel and started walking.
John and Yelena gave each other a wary look.
âI donât like when he does that,â John said.
âNo one does,â Yelena agreed, but they both followed anyway.Â
It didnât take long for them to recognise the routeâ ââIt was the neighbourhood where the team usually got coffee.
They rounded the corner, and suddenly John stopped dead in his tracks.
It was a closed floristâthe very one where Bucky had, allegedly, been trying to charm his way into a married womanâs bed.
To Johnâs absolute horror, Bucky walked right up to the door and knocked.
âBucky.â He said, voice strangled. âWhat the hell is this?â
Yelena blinked. âI donât think we need to seduce a married florist to get medical supplies.â
Bucky sighed, rubbing his temples like he was already regretting this decision. He turned to them, leveling them both with a look. âAlright, listen up,â he said through gritted teeth. "The secretâs out now, so you two gotta keep your mouths shut.â
Johnâs brows furrowed. âWhat secret?â
Before Bucky could answer, the door to the flower shop clicked open.
And there you were, standing in the doorway, wrapped in one of Buckyâs hoodies, looking exactly how heâd expected: exasperated but unsurprised. He knew youâd still be up, cataloguing the latest floral shipment for tomorrowâs arrangements.
The second your eyes landed on a bruised and bloodied Bucky, and flanked by two wounded Thunderbolts, no lessâyou let out a sigh.
âJames,â you said knowingly, your voice laced with fond irritation. âWhat did you do?â
Yelena and John froze in their tracks.
James?
James?
No one called Bucky by his first name. No one. Not unless they had a death wish.
Bucky, unfazed, just stepped inside. âWe ran out of antiseptics, honey.â
Yelena and John exchanged a wide-eyed look.
Honey?
You pinched the bridge of your nose. âAgain?â
Bucky shrugged like this was a perfectly normal Thursday night occurrence.
You muttered under your breath, âI shouldâve known this would happen when I married an ex-assassin.â
Oh.
Yelenaâs mouth opened, closed, then opened again. âMarried.â she repeated
John blinked rapidly. âThis is why we can never go to your place?â
Bucky could only shrug. Of course it wasâ they would have seen the evidence of how much love in his home was carved out for just you.
John let out a wheeze.
Yelena pointed between you and Bucky, motioning erratically. âWait. WAIT. Soâso sheâs your wife? She married you?â
Bucky nodded. âYup.â
âLikeâactually married?â
âMhm.â
Yelena gasped, clutching her chest like sheâd been personally betrayed. In a way, she had. âAnd no one knows?â
Bucky thought for a second. âSam does.â
âAnd Joaquin,â you added, trying to be helpful.
Bucky nodded. âRight. Joaquin.â
âOh, and Isaiah and Elijah Bradley.â
âYeah, they were at the wedding.â
âA teenager knew about this,â Johnâs eye twitched, ââand we didnât?â
Bucky could only nod again.
Yelena rubbed a hand down her face, âYou gaslit us,â she accused, jabbing a finger at Bucky. âYou let us believe you were a homewrecker for weeksâwhen you were married the whole time?!â
You snorted, glancing at Bucky, who had the audacity to look smug. âYeah, that sounds like my husband.â
Yelena let out a string of very creative Russian curses.
John looked like he was about to have a stroke.Â
âAll secrets aside,â you said, welcoming the two disoriented Thunderbolts in and locking the door behind you, âItâs good to finally meet you both.â
John still looked like he was buffering. Yelena, on the other hand, was vibrating with adrenaline, looking like she was trying to solve a conspiracy theory in real time.
âThis isâthis is insane,â she muttered, pointing aggressively at Bucky, then at you, then back at Bucky. âYouâreâyouâre so normal.â
You laughed, shaking your head. âIâd like to think so.â
Bucky just hummed. âSheâs perfect.â
Yelena actually sputtered like an old car engine.
John made a noise that was somewhere between a groan and a strangled laugh. This was all too much.
But there wasnât time to let them spiral further. Bucky, gently nudged you toward the others. âTake care of them first, darling. Theyâve got worse injuries.â
You frowned, wanting to protestâbecause, really, Bucky should always be your first priorityâbut your husband was nothing if not stubborn. You knew better than to argue when he had that look in his eyesâ you knew that fighting him on this would only drag things out longer, and right now, time was precious.
You turned your attention to Yelena and John, motioning for them to follow you deeper into the shop. The scent of lavender, roses, and freshly cut stemsâclung to the air as you led them toward the back, where your little work table stood tucked in the corner.
Years of practice had made you quick. You moved with quiet efficiency, gathering supplies from neat shelves: you cut and split an aloe vera plant for burns, grabbed bandages, and a mix of balms youâd perfected over your time tending to Bucky. It wasnât the kind of sterile, military-grade first aid they were used to, but it would have to do for now.
You started tending to Yelenaâs arm, gently dabbing the wound with fresh aloe. She hissed through her teeth before narrowing her eyes at you.
âSo how long has this been a thing?â she demanded. Bucky, now leaning lazily against the counter with his arms crossed, barely spared her a glance. âA while.â
John scoffed, âA while?â
You bit back a grin as you smoothed a bandage over Yelenaâs arm, âThree years.â
Yelenaâs jaw dropped.
âThreeââ She turned to Bucky so fast it was a miracle she didnât give herself whiplash. âYouâve been married for three years?!â
John let out a long, defeated groan,This was simply too much to process. âFuckâs sake.â
Yelena shook her head. âI thought you were a loner who hated people."
Bucky only shrugged, unbothered.Â
You chuckled as you pressed the last piece of medical tape into place on Yelenaâs arm. âAlright, youâre done.â Then, glancing at John, you motioned for him to sit. âYour turn.â
John sighed but still plopped down. You took his hand gently, turning it over to examine his bruised knuckles before moving to his busted lip.
Meanwhile, they kept peppering you with questions, barely giving you room to breathe.
âHow did you meet?â
âHow do you put up with Buckyâs brooding?â
âDoes he ever actually smile?â
At that last one, you paused, dabbing at Johnâs lip carefully. âHe smiles all the time.â
John let out a scoff. âNo, he doesnât.â
You glanced over at Bucky, knowing he showed that part of him to you and no one else. âOh, he does.â
And then, finally, it was Buckyâs turn.
You turned to him, your brows knitting together as you studied the little cuts on his cheek, the dried blood near his brows. He looked a little tired, a little worn around the edges.Â
Your fingers found his chin, tilting his face toward you as you inspected the damage. Your touch was so featherlight, so incredibly careful. There was no missing the way your thumb brushed over his cheekboneâ how incredibly gentle it was.
âYou shouldâve let me do you first,â you murmured, half-scolding, half-concerned.
Buckyâs lips curved into a small smile, a flicker of mischief lighting his tired blue eyes. âThatâs exactly what you said last night, sweetheart.â
John choked.
Yelena groaned, grabbing the nearest pillow from the nearest chair and hurling it at Buckyâs head. âYou two are disgusting.â
Bucky caught the pillow effortlessly, giving her a smug grin before setting it aside. When his eyes found yours again, his shit-eating grin turned⊠lovely. The tension in his brows eased as you dabbed gently at his cut.Â
For all the blood, for all the bruises, you handled him like he was glass.
And then, without thinking, you leaned in.
It was meant to be a brief kissâ a quick reassurance, a way of saying Iâve got you. But the moment your lips brushed his, you couldnât help but linger.
Your fingers curled instinctively against his chin. His hand found your waist without hesitation, as if he needed you closer. As if the world shrank down to just the two of you.Â
John and Yelena exchanged a look, the previous horror of their teammate hiding a secret wife momentarily forgotten because this was⊠weirdly cute.
You giggled as you pulled away, seeing Bucky looking at you like you hung the moon for him.Â
âAnywhere else?â you asked, brushing your thumb over his lips.
Bucky hesitated just for a second. Then, a little sheepishly, he said, âGot a cut on my ribs.â
You exhaled, shaking your head. Of course he did. Before he could argue, you reached for the hem of his shirt and tugged.
âOff,â you said simply.
Bucky huffed but didnât fight you. He lifted his arms, letting you strip the fabric from his skin, and goddamn.
Bucky, half-naked, was unfairly, ridiculously beautiful. Even now, even after all this time, seeing him like this still knocked the breath from your lungs. His body was a roadmap of battles fought and survived, scars carved into the expanse of his chest and ribs that told stories only he could say.Â
John made a strangled sound, somewhere between âJesus Christâ and âI need to leave the room,â but you ignored him completely. Yelena let out a dramatic sigh and whispered âthey are one second away from sucking each otherâs face off,â to herself.
You tuned them both out, fingers dragging carefully over Buckyâs ribs, searching for the wound. When you found a thin jagged cut just below his ribsâ you sighed softer this time and reached for the aloe.
âYou need to stop getting hurt, my love,â you said, smoothing the cool gel over his skin.
Buckyâs voice came quieter. âLucky I have someone to take care of me, then.â
And thatâs when Yelena finally noticed it.
The thin chain around Buckyâs neckâone sheâd always assumed was just for his dog tagsâheld something else, too.
A ring.
A simple wedding band that matched yours, worn from years of resting against his skin.
She blinked, realisation hitting her like a freight train. Oh.
Thatâs why he always played with it.
Every time Bucky was nervous, every time he was uncertain, his fingers would move to that chainânot just to fiddle with his tags, but to remind himself of you.
Maybe he wasnât a complete jackass after all.
-end.
Note: Hope this doesn't bite me in the ass when the movie comes out.
pairing: new avenger!bucky barnes x abused!fem!reader
warnings: mentions of abuse, domestic violence (not committed by bucky!) mentions of trauma, themes of fear and recovery (please read the warnings)
summary: bucky notices the bruises before you ever say a word. as the truth unravels, he steps inânot just to protect you, he makes sure you're never hurt again.
word count: 5.3k (i went a little overboard)
author's note: i have been wanting to write this for quite a while, and i'm glad i did. enjoy my loves, your feedback and thoughts are always appreciated!
It started small.
A shift in the way you smiledâno longer bright and easy, but tight-lipped and fleeting, like you were trying to convince yourself it still came naturally. A hesitation in your laughter, once the sweetest sound in the Watchtowerâs echoing corridors, now muffled, forced, or absent altogether.
The others chalked it up to stress. Missions have been tense lately. The team didnât exactly operate in peacetime.
But BuckyâŠBucky saw more.
You were the teamâs secretary. The one constant in a whirlwind of chaos. Efficient, organised, always one step ahead of everyone else. You had memorised every operativeâs dietary needs before the kitchen staff had.
You knew how to read between lines of mission reports, handle fallouts with the media, and you were the only person Yelena trusted to refill her coffee exactly right. Your desk, tucked near the central hub, was where people came to decompress, vent, even smile.
You made things work. You made the team work.
You were the light that steadied them all.
But lately⊠that light had gone out.
Bucky noticed first. He always did. Watching people wasnât just habitâit was an instinct. A soldierâs reflex, sharpened by a lifetime of reading danger in the twitch of a hand or the flicker of a glance.
He noticed how your shoulders curled inward like you were trying to disappear into yourself, or how your arms folded across your stomach, elbows tucked in tight as if they were armour.
You flinched when anyone passed too closely behind your chair. You stopped walking through the halls with your usual springâstarted hugging the walls, choosing longer routes that avoided high-traffic zones.
When Yelena clapped a hand to your shoulder in greeting, a simple, affectionate gestureâyour entire body jolted like youâd been hit. Not just startled.Â
Terrified.
The room had gone quiet at that moment. Even Alexei paused, a half-eaten sandwich frozen in his hand. Ava had gone still beside the mission board, her eyes narrowing slightly.
You recovered too quickly. Smiled too fast. âSorry, nerves,â youâd said, brushing it off, grabbing the nearest file and practically sprinting from the room. But Bucky had already seen too much.
And then the bruises.
They started subtly. Shadows beneath the cuff of your blouse that could be passed off as bad sleep, maybe a knock against a desk corner.
You were clumsy sometimesâeveryone knew that. A walking hurricane in heels, Yelena liked to tease. You once tripped over your own shoelaces in front of Val, and no one had let you live it down for a week.
But these werenât accidents.
There was a splotch of purple just visible beneath your collarbone, dark and irregular. Faint, yellowing fingerprints on your wrist that looked like they were trying to fade, but kept stubbornly coming back.
A raw, angry mark that peeked out from your hairline one morning, like someone had gripped your jaw too hardâsomeone tall enough, big enough to loom over you, strong enough to leave a handprint in their wake.
Bucky saw that one when you bent down to pick up a report youâd dropped. Your blouseâs collar dipped slightly, just enough to reveal a line of bruising that trailed from your neck toward your shoulder like a hand had wrapped around you and squeezed.
His hand clenched into a fist on instinct.
He didnât say anything right away. He knew better. But he watched. Quietly, intensely. Not just because he cared, but because something inside him roared with the need to protect you, something deep and territorial and dangerous.
The same thing that made him stare holes into the security cameras when you left the compound for lunch, or that made him scan every incoming message with a new, sharpened edge.
He began checking your schedule.
Not overtly. Just⊠looking. Noting when you left the compound. Who signed you out. When you came back, and what your face looked like afterward.
You used to return from errands with little smiles and tiny storiesââThe deli guy gave me an extra pickle today,â or âSome lady on the street said I had pretty earrings.â But lately, you came back quieter. Shoulders tighter. And you always avoided his eyes.
One afternoon, he asked you if you were okay.
You smiledâagain, that damn smile. So polite, so practiced.Â
âYeah. Just tired. Thanks for asking Buckyâ
But being tired didnât leave marks on someoneâs throat.
And when you walked away, Bucky watched you disappear down the hallway and felt something cold curl in his gut. Something he hadnât felt in years.
He knew pain. Heâd lived it. Breathed it. Worn it like a second skin. But there was something worse about watching you endure it.
Something far more dangerous.
And whoever had hurt you?
Theyâd just reminded him exactly what he was willing to protect.
Still, Bucky didnât act rashly. He waited. Watched. Gathered more than just bruises and broken glances. He needed to be sureâof what you were dealing with, of who was doing this to you, of how to approach without sending you further into yourself.
The wrong move could make you shut down entirely. He knew trauma didnât unravel with questionsâit needed patience.Â
Stillness.
Safety.
So he waited until the Watchtower cleared out for the evening.
The others had trickled out one by oneâYelena dragging Alexei into a sparring match he didnât ask for, Ava and John disappearing into the training room, Val locked in her office for a late-night debrief.
The corridors fell quiet, fluorescent lights humming low overhead. Bucky lingered near your office, watching the shadows stretch along the floor, the door slightly ajar with the warm glow of your desk lamp spilling out into the hall.
You were still there. Of course you were.
You always stay late now.
âHey,â he said softly, stepping into your office once the others had gone.
You didnât jumpâbut he saw the way your shoulders stiffened. How your fingers paused on the keyboard, curling slightly as if preparing for something.
Your eyes stayed locked on the screen for a moment too long, and when you did glance up, they were wide and glassy with that familiar, haunted look.
The one he recognised too well.
The one he used to see in the mirror.
âCan I talk to you?â His voice stayed quiet, gentleâlike coaxing a wounded animal out of hiding. He stood just inside the door, hands in the pockets of his black jacket, posture non-threatening but steady. He wouldnât crowd you. He wouldnât touch you. But the one thing he wouldnât do is walk away.
You swallowed, throat tight, and gave a small nod.
âSure.â
But the word was fragile. Like it had been stitched together with effort.
He crossed the room slowly, pulling the door shut behind himânot all the way, just enough to give the illusion of privacy without making you feel trapped. Then he moved to the chair across from your desk and sat, leaving space between you. Letting you decide what came next.
You glanced back at your screen, like you were searching for a reason to stay distracted. Like if you just kept typing, none of this would be real. But your hands didnât move.
He waited a beat, then spoke, low and careful. âIâve been noticing some things.â
You didnât answer.
âI donât mean to scare you,â he added. âI just⊠Iâm worried about you dollâ
Your shoulders tensed again. That flinch. That tell. He saw it before you could mask it. And when your arms folded across your stomach, hiding your bruised wrist, he knew.
You were protecting yourself from more than just a conversation.
âI know somethingâs going on,â he said. âAnd I donât need the details if youâre not ready. But I need you to know that⊠you donât have to do this alone.â
Still, silence. But your eyes were starting to shine, tears gathering at the corners as you stared down at your keyboard like it held all the answers.
âYouâve been flinching at every touch,â he went on, his voice nearly breaking. âYou donât smile anymore. You avoid everyone like theyâre gonna hurt you. And those bruisesââ
âDonât.â Your voice cracked as the word came out, sharp and desperate.
Buckyâs breath caught. But he didnât move. âOkay,â he said immediately. âI wonât push. I swear.â
The silence that followed was thickâtrembling between confession and collapse.
And then your lip quivered. You shook your head once. âI didnât mean for anyone to notice,â you whispered, voice so soft it almost didnât reach him.Â
âI thought I could handle it.â
Bucky leaned forward, slowly, carefully. âYou shouldnât have to handle it.â
Your chin trembled. âI didnât want to be a burden. Everyoneâs got their shit. Missions. Scars. Who wants to hear about the secretary who made the mistake of falling for the wrong guy?â
His jaw clenched so tightly he thought he might crack a molar. âWho did this to you?â
You didnât answer.
But your silence was answer enough.
His tone darkened, low and steady like steel cooled in ice. âTell me who put their hands on you.â
You shook your head again, fast this time, panic blooming across your features. âBuckyâdonât. Please. Itâll just make it worse.â
He stood up, jaw rigid, fists clenched at his sides. The chair scraped quietly behind him, but he didnât move toward you. Didnât crowd. Just stood there, vibrating with barely contained rage.
But it wasnât at you.
âI would never let anyone hurt you again,â he said, his voice rough now, fighting to stay gentle. âBut you have to let me help.â
Your eyes met his cerulean irises then.
And something inside you cracked.
Because he didnât look at you with pity.
He looked at you like you mattered. Like your pain mattered. Like he saw youâreally saw youâand it didnât make him walk away.
And something about the way he said it, like a lifeline broke you.
You told him everything.
From the first time it happened, when your ex shoved you against a wall during an argument over a text message. To the second time, when he slapped you so hard your lip split open. The cycle became normal. You had started covering up bruises like second nature, lying to your friends, flinching at shadows.
Two nights ago, heâd come home drunk, angry. He dragged you by your hair into the bedroom, wrapped a hand too tight around your neck, and left purple thumbprints beneath your jaw.
You had to call in sick the next day. Told Val it was the flu. She didnât question it.
Tears streamed silently down your cheeks, but Bucky never looked away. His face was tight with rage, his jaw clenched so hard you thought he might break a tooth. His metal hand had curled into a fist again, knuckles whitening where they met synthetic plating.
âI'm gonna kill him,â he said, barely above a whisper.
âNo,â you croaked, your hand reaching to grip his wrist. âJust⊠just get me out of there.â
âYou donât have to ask,â he said.
He helped you out of the office, holding your arm with such care, like you might shatter if he used too much strength. He led you to his motorcycle, the matte black vehicle parked beside the Watchtowerâs bay doors.
You hesitated. âI donâtââ
He handed you his helmet and said, âYouâre safe with me.â
And you believed him.
The wind was sharp against your face, your arms clinging around his waist as he drove through the dusky streets toward your apartment. Your heart thundered the entire rideânot from fear of falling, but from the feeling of escape.
At your place, you let Bucky in and stood frozen in the doorway. Your keys shaking in your hands.
âTell me what you need,â he said.
You walked numbly toward your bedroom and began pulling a small duffel from the closet. Bucky followed, surveying the apartment with quiet calculation.
The broken picture frame on the floor.
The hole punched in the hallway drywall.
The cracked phone screen beside your bed.
You gathered clothes, toiletries, your journal, a worn copy of Pride and Prejudice. Bucky packed in silence, folding your shirts neatly, rolling your socks with care.
When you turned to get your toothbrush, your hands were trembling too badly to hold it.
âI canâtâŠâ you whispered, finally falling apart.
Bucky was there in an instant, arms wrapping around you, pulling you into the solid warmth of his chest.
âItâs over,â he murmured into your hair. âYouâre not going back there. I wonât let you.â
You sobbed into his shoulder, your body wracked with grief and relief all at once. For the first time in years, you believed it.Â
You were leaving.
Bucky had decided to take you to his apartment, given how late it wasâand how you didnât want the rest of the team knowing about any of this. You couldnât bear their questions or the way they might look at you differently if they knew the truth. What you needed right now wasnât a spotlightâit was safety.
And Bucky, somehow, had understood that without you ever having to say a word.
Tucked away in a quiet corner of Brooklyn, it felt like a sanctuary: minimalistic but lived-in, with dark wood furniture, shelves lined with old books, framed black-and-white photos, a few of them being Steve's, and soft lighting that bathed the space in warm, golden hues.
There were blankets folded over the back of his couch, plants that looked surprisingly healthy, and a record player in the corner with a small stack of vinyls beside it. The scent of sandalwood lingered in the airâwarm, masculine, grounding.
âBathroomâs through there,â Bucky said gently, âand the guest roomâs yours for as long as you want it.â
You nodded, wiping your face with your sleeve.
He handed you a folded pile of clothesâone of his blue Henley shirts and a pair of grey boxer briefs that would sit loosely on your frame.
âYou can sleep in these,â he said. âIâll set up fresh towels, and if you need anythingâanythingâyou come get me.â
You changed in the bathroom, staring at yourself in the mirror. The bruises on your neck looked even more vibrant in the soft light. You touched them lightly, then pulled Buckyâs shirt over your head. It was warm from his hands, and it smelled like cedar and something unmistakably him.
You sank into the bed that night with clean sheets, the window cracked open just enough to let in the cool night air. Buckyâs home felt quiet in a way yours never had. Not silent from tensionâbut peaceful. The kind of quiet that comes with safety.
You curled into the soft mattress, wrapped in a blanket that smelled faintly like him, and for the first time in two years, you slept without fear.
Safe.
Protected.
Free.
You woke up with a gasp.
The remnants of the nightmare clung to you like cobwebsâsuffocating and sticky. Flashes of fists in the dark. That voice slithering in your ear, venomous and cruel. The oppressive weight on your chest, the cold dread of being trapped with no way out.
Your heart thundered, breath tearing in and out of your lungs like you were still running, still being chased. Your skin was damp with sweat, your hands shaking uncontrollably as you pushed the covers away and bolted upright in bed.
The room swam around youâfamiliar and unfamiliar all at once. Dimly lit by the glow of a streetlamp outside, walls painted in shadow. The silence rang too loud.
You couldnât stay.
Before you even registered the movement, your bare feet found the cool hardwood floor, each step down the hallway echoing softly. You didnât knock. You didnât need to.
Buckyâs door was cracked open.
He was awake. Sitting at the edge of his bed, elbows braced on his knees, his metal hand cradling the back of his neck like it ached. He looked like he hadnât slept at all. The soft light from the city cast silver lines across the sharp angles of his face, tracing the tension in his jaw, the furrow of his brow.
Your voice trembled, more breath than sound. âI had a nightmare.â
His head snapped up immediately, eyes locking onto yours. The shift was instantâsoldier to protector. In two strides, he was in front of you.
âHey,â he murmured, voice low and soothing. âYouâre okay. Iâm right here.â
His hands came to your shouldersânot forceful, just present. Anchoring. His touch was warm and steady, and it sent a tremor through you that wasnât from fear this time, but release. Like your body finally allowed itself to feel how shaken you were.
Your lip quivered. âCan I stay?â
He nodded before you even finished the question. âAlways.â
You didnât hesitate. The bed welcomed you like a long-lost memoryâsoft sheets, a comforting dip in the mattress, the faint scent of his soap clinging to the pillow.
You curled into the center of it, small and tentative, feeling like a ghost of yourself. Like you might disappear if the shadows swallowed you up again.
Bucky moved with care. He didnât rush. He pulled the blanket up over your trembling frame, tucking it gently around your shoulders. Then he slid into the bed behind you, close but not suffocating, the heat of him already beginning to thaw something frozen inside you.
His arm hovered behind you for a moment. He didnât assume. Didnât take. Just waited.
When you shifted ever so slightlyâjust enough for your back to press lightly against his chest, his arm came around you. A quiet, protective barrier. His metal fingers splayed carefully against your stomach, grounding you in the here and now.
You exhaled a shaky breath, your eyes slipping shut for the first time all night. The tension in your body began to unwind, thread by thread. His scent, clean and faintly earthy filled your nose, mingling with the sound of his heartbeat against your spine and the steady rhythm of his breathing.
And then he whispered it, his voice barely brushing your ear, soft and sure and steady.
âIâve got you.â
The words sank into your skin like warmth, like truth. No promises he couldnât keep. No hollow reassurances. Just a vow, solid and unspoken, in the way he held you like you were something worth protecting.
You blinked slowly, a tear slipping free and soaking silently into the pillow.
For the first time in as long as you could remember, you believed it.
You were safe.
Not because the nightmares were goneâbut because Bucky was here when they came.
The morning sun filtered gently through the blinds of Buckyâs apartment, casting warm strips of gold across the hardwood floors.
For the first time in over a year, you hadnât woken up with your heart pounding in fear. No yelling, no slamming doors. Just the subtle hum of city life beyond the window, and the distant sizzle of bacon in a skillet.
You padded out of the bedroom in Buckyâs oversized shirt and boxers, clutching the sleeves around your palms. The faint scent of him lingered in the fabricâcedar-wood, leather, and something warm, like late summer.
Bucky stood by the stove, his hair damp from a quick shower, grey T-shirt clinging to the breadth of his shoulders. When he heard your footsteps, he turned slightly and gave you a soft smile.
âHey, sweetheartâ he murmured, voice low and scratchy from sleep. âHope youâre hungry.â
You nodded, grateful, eyes stinging. It was in the little thingsâthe way he slid a cup of coffee toward you without asking how you liked it, because he already remembered.Â
Later that day, the team found out.
Yelena had noticed first. She cornered Bucky in the Watchtowerâs armoury after morning briefings. âWhatâs going on with (y/n)?â she demanded, arms crossed, eyes sharp. âShe barely said five words. She jumped when Alexei dropped his water bottle. I know bruises when I see them.â
Bucky hesitated, jaw tightening. But when Yelena added, softer this time, âI care about her too,â he gave her the truth.
Word spread in a ripple. Quiet, but powerful. By the end of the day, the team was different.
It started with your phone. You were sorting through mission reports in the comms room when it buzzed beside you, and you flinched hard enough to drop a pen because without looking, you already knew who it was. Him.
John, usually, cocky caught the look on your face and immediately picked the phone up himself.
âGive me your passcode,â he said steadily.
You hesitated. âWhy?â
âBecause if this assholeâs still texting you, Iâm blocking him. And if heâs tracking you, weâre disabling it right now.â
You blinked at him, lip trembling. John just held your gaze, patient. Protective.
âOkay,â you whispered.
Ten minutes later, your ex was blocked. His number, emailâgone. John handed the phone back like it weighed nothing, but you knew it had been a thousand-pound chain.
Bob, quiet and sweet, began programming something on the sideâa digital firewall. One you didn't even ask for, but he gave it to you anyway.
âIf he tries anything online, youâll be notified. But he wonât get through. I made sure of it.â
You couldâve cried.
Ava began walking with you more often. No words. Just always thereâon your way to the labs, when you stopped by the kitchen, even when you headed out to grab lunch across the street.
âI know what itâs like,â she said one day while the two of you sat on a park bench eating sandwiches. âTo feel hunted.â
You looked at her, stunned. Her face was unreadable, but her hand brushed yours for a moment, just enough to remind you that you werenât alone.
Then there was Alexei. Loud, boisterous, intimidating. He walked into the common area one afternoon with three grocery bags in hand and plopped them dramatically onto the table.
âYou like those little orange cracker fish?â he boomed showing you the goldfish crackers he had gotten. âI bought five bags. And some juice. Juice is important.â
You stared at him, stunned.
âI donâtââ
âShush little one,â he said, winking. âYou part of us. Thunderbolts always feed Thunderbolts.â
Your laugh broke out before you could stop it. It felt foreign. Strange.Â
But real.
Alexei beamed like heâd won a medal.
Slowly but surely, the team wrapped you in something new. Something stronger than fear. Stronger than pain.
When you needed to go to the mall for more clothesâthings that werenât tainted with memoriesâYelena and Bob went with you.
Yelena stuck close to your side, pretending to be indifferent but always scanning the crowd. Bob carried all the bags with a goofy grin. He even helped pick out a new hoodie. It was soft and warm and maroon.
âYou should feel safe in your skin,â Yelena said simply, handing you a matching beanie. âEven if youâre still growing into it.â
Back at the Watchtower, life began to feel... lighter.
You started laughing again. At Alexei's terrible jokes, at Yelenaâs savage sarcasm, at Bobâs quiet mutterings when tech didnât work. Even John, in all his arrogance, could make you smile.
There was a movie night every Friday now and Bucky always sat next to you, sometimes with a pillow between you both to give space, other times with his shoulder a solid warmth at your side. Youâd found yourself leaning into him more. Not because you had to. But because it felt right.
And he never pushed. Never demanded. Just let you exist next to him. Sometimes heâd hand you a blanket without saying a word. Sometimes heâd offer half his popcorn. Sometimes, his fingers would brush yours, warm and careful, and linger just a second longer than necessary.
You slept more. Ate more. Laughed more.
One day, Ava caught you humming in the hallway, arms full of supplies. She stopped in her tracks.
âWhat?â you asked.
âYouâre glowing,â she said quietly.
You blinked. âIâI am?â
She gave a rare, small smile. âLike someone who remembers what sunlight feels like.â
One night, after Yelena dropped you off, you returned to the apartment Bucky always insisted was open to you. You let yourself in with the spare key. It was late, and he was half-asleep on the couch with a book in his lap. He stirred when you closed the door.
âYou okay sweetheart?â he mumbled.
âYeah,â you said.
He nodded, eyes drifting shut again.
You sat beside him, curling your legs up, and rested your head against his shoulder.
He didnât move. Didnât ask. Just reached for the blanket draped over the armrest and pulled it gently over you both.
It was the safest youâd ever felt.
It had started out as a good night.
One of those rare moments where the city lights felt warm rather than harsh, where laughter didnât feel like something you had to fake.
The team had dragged you outâgently, persistently, lovingly.
âCâmon,â Yelena had said, slinging her arm over your shoulder. âBurgers, milkshakes, greasy fries. We deserve it. You deserve it.â
You hesitated. It had been a while since you went to any public diner. Too many memories. Too many shadows. Too much risk of seeing him.
But tonight? You nodded. Just once. Just enough.
The diner was loud with neon buzz and the clatter of plates, the kind of classic joint with red booths and checkered floors. Bucky slid into the booth beside you while Yelena and John sat across. Bob and Ava took the seats at the edge, Alexei immediately requesting the biggest burger they had.
Jokes flew easily. John was ranting about ketchup crimes. Yelena argued that mayonnaise was the superior condiment. Bob kept trying to order fries but the waitress only seemed to hear Alexeiâs booming voice.
You were laughing. Honest, soft laughter that made your chest ache.
Then the door jingled.
And just like that, the warmth bled from the room.
Laughter dimmed. The sizzle of the grill and clatter of dishes became distant, muffled by the sudden roar of blood in your ears.
Bucky stilled beside you.
Your ex stood in the doorway, flanked by two men you didnât recogniseâthick-necked, sneering types with clenched fists and hooded eyes. But it was him you saw. Him, with that awful smirk, like nothing had changed.
Like he still owned the air you breathed.
Bucky noticed the way your body tensed, your fingers gripping the edge of the table. âHeyââ
Your exâs eyes landed on you, and he stepped forward, raising his voice.
âWell, look who it is. Didnât think youâd crawl this far downtown. Guess word spreads when youâre spreading your legs for every man in New York now, huh?â
The sound of the booth creaking was the only warning before Bucky stood.
Yelenaâs fork clattered onto her plate.
John was on his feet in seconds, positioning himself directly between you and your ex.
âTake that back,â Bucky growled.
Your ex only sneered, moving closer. âWhat, you gonna fight me in front of your new playgroup? Cute. Didnât think the Winter Soldier was into charity cases.â
You flinched.
Bucky didnât.
âI know what you did to her,â Bucky said, low and lethal.
Your ex chuckled, but there was unease in his posture now. âWhat? You mean the bruises? Bitch liked it rough. Donât tell me you havenât noticed.â
Yelena stood up behind John, her face carved in steel. âThe next time you touch her,â she said flatly, âwill be the last time you have hands.â
Your ex stepped forward as if to challenge, but John didnât move an inch. âTry it,â he warned. âGive me a reason.â
You saw itâthe twitch in your exâs jaw, the way he coiled his fist. He swung at Bucky.
But Bucky didnât just dodge. He caught the punch mid-air.
With his metal hand.
The crunch of bone was audible and a gasp ran through the diner.
Before anyone could react, Bucky gripped your ex by the front of his jacket, lifting him clean off the floor. The metal arm locked around his throat with frightening precision. The air stilled. Your ex's feet dangled.
âIf you ever look at her again,â Bucky snarled, voice sharp and shaking with rage, âif you so much as breathe in her goddamn directionâI will rip your spine out and hang it from the Watchtower gates.â
His voice didnât rise. It didnât need to. It was full of restrained fury. Of violence barely held back. His eyes had darkened, steel-gray and burning.
Your ex gurgled, his hands clawing at Buckyâs grip.
âDo you understand me?â
A choked nod.
Bucky dropped him like trash.
Alexei stepped forward then, looming over the two henchmen. âYou want to try luck?â he asked them casually. âI havenât punch anything in weeks.â
The men looked at each other, then down at your ex, now coughing on the floor. They backed away.
âYouâre not worth it,â one muttered, and the other practically dragged your ex toward the exit.
Your heart was thundering. Your breath short.
Bob slipped into the seat beside you. Ava stood near the door, eyes scanning the street for any lingering threat.
Bucky turned to you, jaw tight, shoulders still trembling with adrenaline. But when he looked at you, his expression softened immediately.
He crouched in front of you, hands open. âYou okay?â
You nodded shakily, tears welling.
Yelena handed you a napkin. âHeâs gone,â she said quietly. âHeâs never coming near you again.â
John was still standing like a human shield, arms crossed.
And Bucky... Bucky cupped your cheek with his hand. It was warm, comforting, his thumb brushing away the tear that escaped.
âHe doesnât get to touch you. Not now. Not ever again.â
You leaned into him, trembling.
âI was so scared,â you whispered, barely audible.
Bucky pressed his forehead to yours. âI know, sweetheart. But itâs over. He canât hurt you anymore. Not while Iâm breathing.â
And for a moment, even in the shattered remains of what should have been a peaceful night, you were wrapped in a shield stronger than steel.
You had them.
You had him.
You were safe.
You didnât speak on the way home.
No one made you.
Bucky drove, one hand on the wheel, the other occasionally brushing against your thighâanchoring, grounding. The rest of the team took a second vehicle, giving you space. After what happened, you needed it.
You stared out the window, watching the neon blur into streaks of yellow and red, feeling like you were floating somewhere outside yourself. Somewhere between fear and relief.
The silence between you and Bucky wasnât heavyâit was steady. Like the calm after a storm. Like quiet waves still curling back from the shore.
When he parked outside the compound, he turned to you slowly.
âDo you want to be alone?â
You shook your head.
He didnât ask again. Just took your hand gently, led you through the compound, through the hallways, up the stairs. When you reached your room, he hesitated at the door.
âCan I stay?â
You nodded.
Inside, the room felt untouched by the chaos of earlier. Soft lamplight, a rumpled blanket on your bed. Familiar, safe.
You kicked your shoes off and sat on the edge of the bed, fingers twisting in your lap. Bucky crouched in front of you again, like at the diner, his hands resting on your knees.
âYouâre not weak for being scared,â he said. âYou know that, right?â
Your throat tightened. You nodded.
âBut heâs never going to get to you again. I wonât let him. None of us will.â
You looked at him. The way his eyes held yours, soft but strong. The way his presence wrapped around you like armor. The way his touch was always careful, like you were something breakable but worth protecting.
And then you whispered, âI donât know how to stop being afraid.â
Bucky leaned forward. Pressed his forehead gently to yours.
âYou donât have to. Not right away. But youâre not alone anymore. Weâll fight it together.â
You closed your eyes.
And when he climbed into bed beside you, when his arms wrapped around you and pulled you against the steady thump of his heart, you believed him.
Not because the fear was gone.
But because for the first time in so long, you werenât carrying it alone.
He pressed a kiss to your temple. Whispered something you didnât catchâbut it didnât matter.
It sounded like safety.
It felt like home.
a/n: this fic is one i hold close, because i have experienced abuse/dv in my previous relationship, and i had no idea how to leave, and writing this helped, a lot. i do hope that every person that is trapped in this cycle will find their buckyâsomeone who makes them feel safe and loved. i am grateful i found mine. if you're a victim or know someone who is struggling, please don't be afraid to seek for help. i promise it does get better once you leave. (google dv helpline, your country's hotline should appear)
Synopsis: Bucky never thought heâd get married. But, then he did. He never thought heâd have kids. Never knew he even wanted them. Until he saw you with one. Now, itâs all he can think about.Â
Warnings: Fluff, ft. the wilsonâs, buckyâs a yearner, no use of y/n, SMUT, MDNI, kids loving bucky (and you), baby fever, ovulation kink?, kissing, cursing, all consensual, lots of terms of endearment, oral (f. rec), unprotected sex (do not), vocal & yapper buck, crying, overstimulation, porn with no plot, multiple rounds, creampies, cockwarming, breeding kink, rough sex, praise kink, spanking (once), marking, pussy worshipping, pregnancy, aftercare / WC: 5.6K
A/N: Ahh, thank you, anon, for indulging in baby-fever Bucky with me! I think I might be ovulating, tbh. But anyways! I love baby-fever ridden Bucky Barnes. Comments & Reblogs appreciated!
The late afternoon light bled gold through the windows of your shared apartment, catching in soft patterns across the wooden floorboards. You stood by the hallway mirror, twisting your earrings in with careful fingers, humming faintly under your breath. That sundressâthe pale blue one with delicate little strapsâfit you like a whisper.Â
Bucky leaned against the doorway, arms crossed, watching you run your fingers through your hair. His heart squeezed. A year into the marriage and he still couldnât believe it some days. You looked so calm, so beautiful, so easy in your movements and skin. The way the afternoon sun painted you golden made him ache.Â
You caught his eyes in the mirror and smiled, a knowing little curve of your mouth. âYou keep staring at me like that, weâre going to be late,â you said, adjusting the neckline of your dress.
He pushed off the doorway and came to stand behind you, metal hand resting lightly at your waist. âIâm not staring,â he murmured, lips brushing your shoulder. âIâm admiring.â
âYouâre trying to get us out of going.â
âCan you blame me?â he asked, turning you around slowly until you were facing him. His eyes swept over you like a man starved. âYou in this dress⊠Jesus. I didnât know you were gonna wear this. You couldâve warned me.â
You rolled your eyes, but you were smiling. âBuckyââ
âJust five minutes,â he said, leaning in, kissing your jaw. âLet me take this off you. Iâll be fast, promise.â
You giggled, brushing your nose against his. âYouâre never fast.â
âThatâs not true,â he mumbled into your neck, already pushing the hem of your skirt up.
You grabbed his face in your hands and kissed him onceâslow, deep, enough to make his knees buckle. Then you pulled away. âYouâre going to behave at Samâs. Thereâs kids there. Food. Community.â
Bucky groaned, head tipping back. âYouâre cruel.â
You raised an eyebrow. âI can be crueller.âÂ
He blinked and stepped back, smiled and grabbed your purse. âNo need. Iâm moving. Practically in the car.âÂ
You snorted, shaking your head at his antics. You followed after him, shutting and locking the door behind you.Â
He slipped his hand in yours.Â
The Wilson house was already alive when you pulled up. Music floated from the backyard, mingled with laughter and the high, excited squeals of children.Â
The scent of something grilled and delicious hung in the air. Bucky leaned over to open your door, hand immediately on your lower back as you both stepped out.Â
âReady?â you asked.Â
âNo,â he answered, eyes lingering on your legs. âBut Iâll survive.âÂ
You patted his chest in mock sympathy. âYou can do it, Buck. I believe in you.âÂ
Sarah greeted you both with warm hugs and lemonade. A shout from one of her kids pulled her away and you waved her off, told her to go check on them and youâd find her in a bit. Sam, already one beer in, sauntered over.Â
âTook you long enough,â Sam said, clapping Buck on the back. âLemme guess. You were trying to talk her out of coming?âÂ
You laughed as Sam hugged you, soft, like an older brother might.Â
âSomething like that,â Bucky muttered, eyes scanning the crowd. You laid a hand on his arm and he relaxed slightly, eyes crinkling softly at you as Sam handed him a beer.Â
Cass and AJ were mid-sword fight in the yard and immediately hollered when they spotted Bucky.Â
âUNCLE BUCKY!â
âOh no,â Bucky sighed as they charged. He gave you one last look, smirk tugging at his lips as AJ grabbed his hand and dragged him toward the grass. You and Sam laughed as Cass hugged you hello before darting after them.Â
You caught Buckyâs eye just as he slowly fell on his back, exaggeration bleeding out of him as he beamed at the kidâs laughter.Â
Pray for me, he mouthed.Â
I love you, you mouthed back, turning before you could see his eyes turn into hearts.Â
Pulled into a conversation, Sam walked away after squeezing your shoulder and you wandered off to find Sarah and help her in the kitchen.Â
It was good, easy. Everything always felt so light here, like the weight of the world drifted into the harbour and all that was left was softness and laughter.Â
Later, Sarah brought out one of her friendsâa woman named Candace. Sheâd just moved into the neighborhood with her husband and their baby girl.Â
âOh, you have to meet her,â Sarah told you, dragging you toward the couch. âSheâs an angel. And I have a feeling sheâll love you.âÂ
Youâd always liked kids. Talked about them in soft, tentative tones late at night with Buckyâsome day, not now.
But when Candace placed her daughter in your arms, something inside you settled. Something ancient and quiet. You shifted her gently, feeling the sweet weight of her body, and you were a goner. She had the chubbiest cheeks and the softest fuzz of dark curls on her head. You chatted and cooed, drawn to the little one like it was instinct.
Sarah and Candance looked at each, a look of knowing passing between them. A look only a mother could understand, could decipher. They slowly moved away, like they knew how important this was for youâhow life changing it could be.Â
Bucky looked up from the grass where heâd been tackling Cass to the ground in a mock wrestling move. He caught your laugh first. That soft, fluttering giggle you always gave when something melted you. He turned from where Aj was trying to tie his metal arm behind his back like a superhero capeâand he froze.Â
You were holding a baby.Â
Your arms curled around her like you were made to carry her. You rocked her gently, one finger tracing her tiny cheek as you spoke to her in that quiet voice that did things to him. There was a smile on your face that Bucky hadnât seen before. You were glowing, soft, peaceful, the kind of beauty that wasnât just physicalâbut something else, something foreign and familiar all the same.Â
And Buckyâsomething shifted. He felt it deep in his chest. A low, unfamiliar ache. An instinct heâd never let himself entertain. Not in this life. Not with his past.Â
He felt like something in him snapped.Â
He didnât want to want kids. He never thought he would. He never thought it was even possible for him to live a life that normal, that good. He already had youâhad something so pure and good that he constantly pinched himself to make sure it was real.Â
But now he couldnât unsee it. Couldnât unfeel the way his chest pulled and clenched with a sudden need, a new type of longing. You were his wife, his beautiful, perfect wife, and now he wanted to make you a mother.Â
Sam walked by, caught him frozen mid-step, his nephews giggling on the grass.Â
âYou alright there, Buck?â Sam came up beside him, grinning.
Bucky blinked. âHuh?âÂ
Sam followed his gaze and nodded, grinning wider. âAh, I see.â
âShut up,â Bucky grumbled, mindful of the kids around him.Â
Sam raised a brow. âYou got it bad.âÂ
âDonâtââ Bucky started, but Sam just laughed, bumped his shoulder.Â
âRelax. Iâve seen that look before. Youâre gonna be insufferable the rest of the night, arenât you?âÂ
Bucky didnât answerâcouldnât. Because you were looking up at him now, smiling that sweet, private smile, and the baby was still curled against you like she belonged thereâand Bucky felt his cock twitch in his jeans. A primal and unwarranted reaction, but a natural and unstoppable one, nonetheless.Â
Jesus Christ, it was going to be a long day.
Later, near sunset, the kids were winding down and the adults were camped on the porch. You sat on a rocking bench with the baby girl in your arms again, after Sam had gently given her to you when Sarah called him, now sleepy and burbling as you gently hummed a lullaby. Bucky came to sit beside you, his thigh brushing yours, his fingers itching to touch.Â
âTired?â you asked, quietly.Â
Bucky hummed, shifting closer to you. âYeah, a bit. Those boys sure know how to play.âÂ
You laughed, fond. He pressed his shoulder into yours. âWhat about you?â he asked, just as quiet. âHad fun?âÂ
You looked down at the baby in your arms and nodded, briefly overcome with feeling. âSheâs so good,â you whispered. âJust look at her, Buck.âÂ
He didâcouldnât look away. âYouâre so good with her.â
Your eyes found his, something soft and fragile between you. She grabbed his metal finger, tiny fist curling tight, and Bucky swore his heart cracked right open.Â
You watched him carefully, watching as the tension in his body melted and how his breath hitched. His eyes were wide, filled with curiosity and hesitation. You felt your heart swell, the ache in your stomach grow,
You swallowed, trying to reel in the flutter between your legs, in your gut. âI never thought itâd hit me like this.âÂ
Bucky didnât look at you, eyes on the tiny, flesh hand wrapped around his metal one. âLike what?â
You looked down. âWanting one. Our own.â
Bucky looked up and stared at you.Â
You didnât see the way his throat bobbed, the tension in his jaw. But Sarah did, from across the porch. She elbowed Sam with a grin, and he barely stifled a laugh.
The car ride home was silent.Â
Thick with heat and want and emotions and need.Â
Buckyâs hand was on your thigh the entire time, thumb rubbing circles just below the hem of your dress. You shifted, breath catching. He pressed harder and you clenched your thighs together.Â
There were no kids, no Sam or other other adults to behave around. Just you and Buckyâalone, driving home. It was different today, the air in the car. Usually, Bucky would be mumbling about something; the food or the people or Sam or simply how he missed touching you, but there was none of that.Â
Just silenceâheavy and warm, wrapping around you both like it knew, knew that the ache inside you both would only grow in the quiet comfort of each other.Â
Bucky could smell itâthe shift in your hormones. Your body calling him. He didnât know much about ovulation, but he knew you. Knew your scent, your taste, the pulse of want that beat through you when you were aroused. His senses werenât that enhanced but he knew your body, completely in-tune with you.Â
You were ovulating. It explained how you jumped him last night in bed and it sort of explained the situation nowâhow you were turned towards him, clenching your thighs together with a far away look in your eyes. It leaked out of youâout of your pores and your cunt, probably pooling in your panties and soaking his seats.
Bucky was losing his mind. His thumb pressed into your skin and you sighed. His cock twitched and he almost groaned out. All he wanted was to sink into you but he had to drive, had to get home and take care of you properly.
The door barely shut behind you before Bucky had you pinned against it, breath hot and heavy against your cheek. His hands gripped your hips, rough and desperate, as if grounding himselfâlike if he didnât hold on, he might float away.Â
You barely had time to gasp before he kissed you.Â
It was brutal in the way only love could beâall tongue, all teeth, all reverence. Bucky kissed like he was starvingâlike every second spent not inside you was one wasted. His metal hand slid up your spine, fingers fisting in the back of your sundress, dragging the fabric up your thighs as he pressed his body flush to yours.Â
âYou donât know,â he rasped against your lips. âYou don't know what you did to me today, baby.âÂ
You blinked up at him, lips plump and dazed. âWhatâŠwhat did I do?âÂ
He groaned, forehead dropping to yours as he pressed his hips against yours. âYou holding that baby,â he said, voice breaking. âYou smiled and I saw itâsaw you glowing, glowing like you were meant to be someoneâs mama. Like you were meant to carry my baby.âÂ
Your breath caught, eyes fluttering.Â
âI couldnât think straight,â he admitted, lips brushing your jaw, your cheekbone, the shell of your ear. âSam caught me starinâ. Said I looked like a lovesick idiot but I didnât care. All I could think wasâfuck, sheâd be the most beautiful mama.âÂ
He nibbled the skin under your ear. âI want you full of me, sweetheart. Want you round and glowing and pregnant.âÂ
Your knees buckled at his words, at the heat in his voice, at the trembling in his hands. You clutched at his shirt, dragging him closer, whimpering when his thigh slotted between yours.Â
âBuckyââÂ
âI know we haven't had a proper conversation," he murmured, kissing down your neck. âBut I saw how badly you wanted it. And I want it too, want you. Tell me to stop and I will but I want this.âÂ
You swallowed thickly, your heart pounding so hard it hurt. You looked into his eyes, blue and black, filled with love and affection.Â
âI want a baby, Bucky,â you whispered. âI want a baby with youâyours.âÂ
He was right, you hadnât had a proper conversation, just that youâd wait a bit, but it wasnât like you werenât ready. You knew you wanted a future with him after your first date and he knew long before heâd even asked you on that date.Â
Besides, you knew this wasnât something you wanted to plan. You wanted it to happen for you and him naturally, and whatâs more natural than immense lust and want.Â
Bucky frozeâjust for a secondâand he snapped, letting go of the reins completely.Â
His mouth crushed yours again, more desperate than ever. Tilting his head, he deepened the kiss and slipped his tongue into your mouth. Tongues, teeth, and lips crashed together in perfect harmony.Â
Bucky lifted you into his arms with ease, your legs wrapping around his waist as he stumbled down the hall, barely making it to the bedroom before throwing you onto the bed. You laughed as your back hit the mattress, legs immediately parting.Â
âKeep the dress on,â he growled, crawling over you, yanking your panties down your thighs. âFuckâthis fucking dress.â He shoved the hem up to your waist, staring down at your glistening cunt like it was holy.Â
âYouâre so wet,â he groaned. âGod, baby, youâre dripping.âÂ
âFor you,â you breathed, pussy fluttering as the cold air brushed against it. âAlways for you.â
He smiled, something wicked and promising. He surged forward, lips on your neck and you arched into him, giving him more access to your neck. He kissed down your body, shifting himself as he kissed down your clothed breasts, sucking and biting through the flimsy material.Â
You whimpered when his tongue poked and prodded your sensitive nipples, hot tongue against your skin. He unbuttoned your dress and kissed your exposed breasts, tongue swirling against your hardened nipples.Â
He kissed down your stomach, gentle as he continued to unbutton your dress. âSo fucking pretty,â he mumbled, staring down at you with heated eyes.Â
âBuckâ you practically whined, needing him, anything.Â
âI know,â he mumbled, and he did. He needed this as badly as you did, if not more. But he was a dutiful husband, and heâd take care of you, satisfy you. All you had to do was be patient.Â
Bucky laid on his stomach and looked up at you. Head propped up on a pillow, you stared down at him and smiled, nodding slightly to his non-verbal question.Â
Gently, Bucky lifted each of your legs and placed them over his shoulders, forcing you to open yourself for him completely. He leaned in and pressed his nose against your cunt, your hips jerking upwards at the feeling of him nosing your clit but he held them down.Â
âSo wet, baby,â he breathed out, rubbing his nose further into you. âNaughty little wife,â he grinned as he brought his metal hand to your pussy and rubbed your arousal all over clit.Â
âGetting so wet while holding someone elseâs baby girl.â You whimpered when he kissed your slit. âYou want your own, donât you? Iâll give you one.âÂ
Before you could say anything, he planted a hot, wet, open-mouthed kiss on your clit and he moaned as his tongue slipped inside your pussy. Crying out, you arch your back in response as his nose nudged against your swollen folds. A low hum reverberates through him as he licks, sending delicious shivers down your spine.
Bucky moaned when you tugged on his hair, his name slipping quietly from your lips. He licks one long stripe up your slit and you nearly screamed as he pushed his nose further into you, his tongue fucking in and out of your sopping hole.Â
His hands were everywhereâgripping your thighs, spreading you wide, holding your still as he devoured you. Tongue thrusting inside, slurping and sucking, groaning like he was the one being touched.Â
âFuck, Buckyâoh my godââ
He sucked your clit, flicked it with the tip of his tongue in tight little circles, your body shaking as heat coiled deep in your belly.Â
âGonna make you come like this,â he growled against your cunt. âGotta make you fall apart on my tongue before I fuck a baby into you.âÂ
The pressure of your pleasure built and snapped inside you as he wrapped his lips around your cunt and pressed his thumb to your clit. You sobbed out his name, clenched your eyes shut as your nerves lit on fire and your vision went white.Â
Bucky moaned, drinking you down, licking through your orgasm like he needed it more than life. âThatâs it,â he panted. âCum all over my face.â The bottom half of his face, his beard, was shiny with your cum and slick as he continued to lick at you, his tongue working its way from your entrance all the way to your clit.Â
When you collapsed, boneless and gasping, he pulled away from your cunt and looked at you like you were made of starlight, something magnificent and out of this world.Â
You were breathing hard, fucked out. Bucky watched you carefully as he strippedâsweater, pants, briefsâall gone in a blur.Â
You opened your eyes to the sight of him staring at you, a predatory look in his eyes. His cock was leaking, flushed and hard and thick, precum leaking from his swollen tip. He knelt between your legs, stroked himself with one hand while the other cupped your jaw.
âLook at me, sweetheart,â he murmured, all gentle. âYou sure about this?âÂ
You nodded, eyes glassy. âYeah, I want it.â You curled your finger around the chain of one of his dogtags, pulled him flush against you. Pressing your lips against his, you mumbled into his mouth. âMake me a mama, Buck.âÂ
Bucky groaned against your mouth, tongue teasing your bottom lip as he pressed his cockhead to your entrance, swallowing your moan when your hips tilted up. You held your breath as he pushed inside, moaning out his name as your pussy sucked him in.Â
âFuck, Iâm gonna fill you up, sweetheart. Gonna cum so deep in you itâll have no choice but to stick. Youâll be so full of meâmy come, my baby.â He kissed your forehead. âMy pretty girl.âÂ
You moaned at the stretch, arching your back so your ass pressed flush against his hips. Bucky bit your shoulder, slowly rocked his hips against yours, sliding his dick in and out of you at the most delicious pace. He bottomed out slowly, burning himself to the hilt.Â
He stayed there, forehead to yours, panting.Â
âYouâre so tight,â he choked. âSo fucking perfect.âÂ
You whimpered, nails digging into his back as he pressed into you, thick and pulsing inside you.Â
Pressing a kiss to your nose, he lifted his hips and started fucking youâdeep, slow, intentional. Every thrust was heavy, hot, full of claim. His hand slid under your neck, cradling it. The other gripped your hip, grounding himself as he slammed into you, muttering against your mouth.
âTake it, baby, take all of me. Gonna fill you up so good. Youâre gonna be such a good mama.â
You were crying nowâoverwhelmed, wrecked, unraveling from the intensity of it all.Â
âI love you,â you sobbed, babbling. âI love you so much, Buck.â It all felt like too muchâhis cock, the intentions of the way he pressed into you.Â
He kissed your tears away, hips stuttering as your nails raked down his back. âI love you too, baby. So fucking much. Youâre my everything.âÂ
Your cries echoed through the room as the pressure inside you snapped and you climaxed, your cum coating his cock. Your body convulsed uncontrollably, your walls tightening around him. Buckyâs own moaning mingled with yours as he bit down on your neck, cumming inside you.Â
With a strangled growl, Bucky shoved as deep as he could and spilled inside youâhot, thick ropes of cum flooding your cunt as he trembled over you, gasping your name like a prayer. He continued to thrust, filling you completely, his gaze transfixed on the sight of his cock disappearing into your white, creamy warmth.Â
Amidst your incoherent babbling, Bucky was lost in the depths of your pussy. His movements were relentless, driven by an urge he couldnât deny. Tears streamed down your cheeks, a mixture of overstimulation and raw emotion overwhelming your senses.Â
As the final drops of his cum dripped into your core, Bucky gradually slowed his pace, pressing tender kisses to your neck and shoulders. He wrapped his arms around you, smiling against your skin when your limp legs wrapped loosely around him.Â
He kissed you, gentle and soft, cock softening a bit inside you as you both caught your breath. Slowly, gently, he pulled out and your pussy fluttered around nothing, clenching at the loss. His cum dripped out of your cunt, dripping down your thighs and Bucky watched, mesmerized.Â
He groaned as he spread your thighs wider, fingers dragging through the mess he left inside you, gliding over swollen folds, watching them glisten.Â
âFuck, baby,â he rasped. âYouâre leaking all over the bed. Think Iâm losing my mind.âÂ
You blinked, breath catching. âMhm.â You were fucked out, mind hazy, but the emptiness between your legs was evident.Â
âI got you, sweetheart,â he murmured, thumb circling your clit. âJust lay back. I know what you need. Let me fuck it back in.â
And he doesâpushes two fingers into you, slow and deep, and you gasp, hips twitching. You're sore but your cunt clenched around him like you needed more, wanted moreâand you do.
âYou feel that?â he panted. âThatâs all mine. Youâre fuckinâ full of me, baby.âÂ
âNeed more,â you whimper. âPlease, Buck.âÂ
âI know.â His mouth is against your belly now, kissing, worshipping. He whispered praises against your skin. âFeelinâ empty, arenât you?âÂ
He kissed your mound and then licked a slow, wet stripe from your hole to your clit. You jolted, breath stuttering. He hands pinned your thighs open as he pushed his tongue inside you, moaning into your cunt at the taste of his cum mixed with yours.Â
Shameless, he devoured you. His beard scratched at your sensitive thighs, tongue curling deep inside until youâre begging.
âBucky, fuckâsâtoo muchââ
âTake it, sweetheart,â he growled, voice slurred with lust. âYou taste so fuckinâ good. Gimme that pussy, come on, I need itââÂ
You cry out when he slapped your thigh, rough and sweet at the same time. He pulled back, eyes fluttering open. âSit on my fuckinâ face.âÂ
âWhat?â you breathed out, dazed and on the verge of tears again.Â
âYou heard me,â he grinned, licking his lips. âRide my face, pretty girl. Wanna feel you grind all over me.âÂ
You let him flip you over, straddled his face as his hands guided you down until your pussy was flush against his mouth. He moaned like heâs been depraved. His tongue lapped into you greedily, fucking into you as you rocked on him, thighs trembling.Â
Bucky knows heâs on a high right now, pussy drunk, completely lost in itâgripped your thighs tight, pulled you down like he wants nothing more than to drown in you.Â
Your thighs burned as you gripped the headboard for dear life. The pleasure is too great, it snapped too quickly and you screamed, cumming all over his face.Â
Bucky licked and sucked even as you tried to pull away. âCanât,â you sobbed. âBucky, IââÂ
Bucky whined and flipped you again, settling between your legs. Heâs ripped the dress off you, threw it somewhere unimportant. His cock is hard again, thick and red and he pushed the leaking head of his cock to your entrance again, slapped it against your folds and grunted.Â
He pushed inâslow and so fucking deep, and you cry out at the stretch, at the burn, the fullness.Â
âThatâs it,â his eyes are squeezed shut. âSuch a good fuckinâ girl, taking my cock again.âÂ
You moaned, legs wrapping around his waist. He thrusted, dragging every inch of his veiny cock against your plush walls. He leaned down, kissed you hardâtongue in your mouth.Â
âBuckyâ!â Itâs all you're left capable of saying, just his name, over and over again.Â
âGotta fuck my cum into you, baby,â he reasoned with you, sweat glistening his chest. âYou want that, donât you? Want me to fill you again? Want me to fuck a baby into like I promised?âÂ
âYesâplease, Bucky.â you were panting. âI need itââÂ
âSay it,â he growled, slamming into you, his fingers bruising your hips. âTell me you want it.âÂ
âI want it,â you sobbed, clawing at the sheets. âWant your babyâdonât stop, please donât stopââ
Heâs rabidâtongue dragging down your neck as his teeth grazed your skin, biting as he pounded into you. The lewd slap of skin against skin is filthy, mixed with your wet cries as his broken grains. He slapped your cunt with his metal handâhardâand you screamed into his mouth.Â
âFuck, good fuckinâ girl. Look at youâso fuckinâ needy. All this âcause you wanna be bred.âÂ
He pulled your hips higher, flush against his pelvis. Youâre full on sobbing now, begging for it. You pussy fluttered and clenched around him with every thrust and he hissed, pressed into you deeper.Â
His hand pressed into your skin and slid down your body until it reached your pussy. His thumb circled your clit, pressed into it as he drove his cock deep, hips slammed into yours again and again untilâ
Your vision goes white completely, stars dancing as you cummed. Your whole body trembled, legs giving out as your pussy milked his cock. Bucky gritted his teeth and slammed into you one more time and groanedâdeep and brokenâin his chest as he cummed inside you, cock throbbing.Â
âFuckâfuck, baby, take itâtake it all,â he moaned, buried himself deeper, grinding into you. âSo good for me. So fuckinâ perfect.âÂ
He pressed into you, panting, before he pulled out just a little. Your thighs are soaked, your cunt swollen and leaking all over his thighs and the sheets. âShit,â Bucky whispered, dazed, drooling.Â
âLook what I did to you.âÂ
You blinked up at him, smiling dumbly. He leaned down, kissed your trembling lips. Tender and slow, one hand brushed the hair off your sweaty face.Â
âThink we just made a baby,â he whispered with a grin, voice warm and low.Â
You laughed, breathless, fucked-out, completely wrecked.
You were barely consciousâjust boneless warmth draped over him, your thighs trembling, lips swollen and bruised, and still, still he hadnât pulled out.Â
Bucky stayed buried deep inside you, both arms wrapped tight around your back, your cheek pressed against his chest where his heart was still pounding like a war drum.Â
His cum was thick inside you, heat pooled low, locked in place by the gentle grind of his hips, cock twitching every time you shifted in your sleep. His hand stroked up your back, across your spine, then curled under your ass, squeezing softly.Â
He couldnât bear to let go. Didnât want to risk a single drop slipping out.Â
âDoinâ so good for me, baby,â he whispered, kissing your eyelids. âGonna keep it all inside, yeah? Gotta keep you full.âÂ
You mumbled something unintelligible against his skin, barely more than a sigh, and he felt you melt even moreâhis cock twitched again.Â
He wanted you pregnantâneeded it in his bones. And it wasnât just the thought of breeding youâof cumming inside you so deep it tookâbut the life of it. Of you and him expanding your family. He could see it as clear as day; you holding their baby at your hip, glowing with that softness only he got to see, wrapped up in something warm and soft.Â
âIâm gonna be good,â he whispered into your hair, voice cracking. âIâll be so good for you. Gonna take care of both of you. Youâll never lift a damn finger, sweetheart. I swear.âÂ
He stayed inside you for as long as your body would let himâuntil your breath evened out completely, and your hand went limp over his chest.Â
Only then, carefully, slowly, did he slip out of you, hissing as his cock left that warm, soaked haven. He cupped his hand over your cunt instantly, thumb brushing the slick mess between your thighs, murmuring, âThatâs it, baby, hold it in for me.âÂ
He kissed your temple, then your shoulder, then finally eased away from the bedâjust long enough to wet a warm cloth and come back to clean you up, gentle as anything.Â
You didnât even stirâtoo fucked out and too loved.Â
Bucky smiled as he tucked the blanket around your waist, crawled back into bed, and curled around your body like a shield. His cock was already hardening again where it pressed between your thighs, but he didnât moveâjust held you.Â
âI love you,â he whispered, kissing the shell of your ear. âSo much. Youâre my heart.âÂ
You made a soft, sleepy noise, and he smiled into your hair.Â
âYouâll see,â he promised, already picturing itâtiny baby fingers curling around yours, soft coos in the middle of the night. âIâll be the best dad. The best husband. Iâll be good.âÂ
And he meant it. More than he meant anything else.
You stared at the little plastic stick in your hand like it was a live wire. The bathroom was quiet except for the soft hum of the fan and the pounding of your heartbeat in your ears.Â
Three minutes.Â
You hadnât told him you were late yetânot until this morning, when youâd woken up with your face buried in his neck and an unease in your stomach and whispered, âBuck? I think I might be pregnant.â
His eyes had shot open instantly. No sleepy blink, just a rush of warmth and wonder in this blue eyesâfilled with excitement and caution.Â
You sat on the closed toilet lid, test in hand, and he crouched in front of you, both of his huge hands wrapped around your knees. You could feel him vibrating with nerves, with hope. You hadnât even looked yet.Â
âBaby,â he said, quiet and so fond.Â
You looked up at him. âMm?âÂ
He smiled, gentle and promising. âWhatever the test says, itâll be okay. If youâre not pregnant, I donât want you to worry. Itâll be okay.âÂ
You swallowed the lump in your throat and nodded, love and anxiety swimming down your throat. It would be okay, but you wanted this so bad.Â
âYou ready?â he asked, softly.Â
You nodded once.Â
Then, you slowly turned the stick.Â
Pregnant.Â
The word stared up at you in tiny digital lettersâso simple, so final.
You barely had a second to process it before Bucky exhaled a shaky breath and grabbed you, arms winding around your waist so fast and tight you dropped the test and laughed into his shoulder.Â
âOh my god,â he whispered into your neck, kissing you, eyes wet. âYouâre pregnant. Baby. Babyâwe did it. You did it.âÂ
You smiled so wide your cheeks hurt, threading your fingers through his hair as he pulled back just enough to look at you.Â
âYouâre really happy?â you asked, voice thick.Â
Bucky let outa breathless, wet laughâthen dropped to his knees on the tiled floor, lifting your shirt with shaking fingers.Â
âHappy?â he whispered. âSweetheart, Iâve never been this happy in my whole damn life.âÂ
That wasnât all that true, since the day he married you would always be the happiest day of his life, but this was such a close second.Â
He kissed your bellyâsoft and reverent. Once, then again. He pressed his forehead to your stomach like he was praying.Â
He looked up at you, eyes shiny. âAre you happy, baby?âÂ
You blinked and then your lips wobbled and Bucky stood instantly, catching you just as you collapsed in his arms. He cooed in your ear softly, encouraging you to cry, to let it out.Â
âIâm so happy,â you mumbled through tears. You looked up at him, beautiful and glowing he was undone. âIâm gonna be a mama, Bucky.âÂ
âYou are,â he choked, nose brushing against yours. âYouâre going to be such an amazing mama,â he said, voice wrecked with love and emotion. âLuckiest kid in the world.âÂ
You stroked your fingers through his hair as tears slipped down your cheeks. His arms wound tighter around your waist, like he couldnât get close enough. âWeâre gonna be parents.âÂ
You nodded, choking out a laugh. âYeah, Buck. We are.â You kissed his cheek. âYouâre gonna be such a good dad.âÂ
He leaned down and kissed youâslow, deep, trembling with joyâand in that tiny bathroom, hearts pressed together, everything in the world felt right.Â
marvel au
bucky x reader
alpine barely tolerates anyone but bucky, so when she curls up in your lap without a second thought, the team is left reelingâespecially when it leads to the not-so-subtle revelation that you and bucky have been sneaking around for months.
Warnings: fluff, so much fluff, alpine is a troublemaker, secret dating, swearing, kissing, alcohol, tony knows all, natasha too, no use of y/n, lmk if i've missed anything
Word Count: 2.2k
A/N: hello! once again a fic no one asked for lol. i'm supposed to be on hiatus buuut i took some time this afternoon to write this because i'm procrastinating a uni assignment. i'm sure this concept has been done before, but i was thinking about that scene in rivals with the dog (iykyk) and yeah! step away from the usual angst and heartbreak i normally provide you all with. sorry for any typos - not proof read.
main masterlist
You were careful.
Or at least, you thought you were careful.
For months, you and Bucky had kept your relationship under wraps. It wasnât that you wanted to keep secrets from the team, but there was something thrilling about stolen moments and hushed conversations. About Buckyâs hand on the small of your back as he guided you through a crowded room, or the way heâd brush a kiss against your temple before disappearing down the hall.
You figured no one had noticed.
Until today.
It all started with one of many white hairs stuck to your t-shirt.
Natasha plucked it off you mid-conversation one morning in the kitchen while you were prayingâdesperatelyâto whatever all-seeing god might finally make the coffee machine work faster. Between the groaning, spluttering sounds and the blinking lights, it felt like the damn thing was possessed. With flawlessly manicured nails, Natasha held the hair up to the morning light filtering through the floor-to-ceiling windows of the compound.
âIs this Alpineâs fur?â she mused aloud, twirling the long, pale strand between her fingers.
âProbably.â you replied absently, more concerned with the coffee machineâs latest refusal to cooperate. You jabbed the buttons harder, ignoring the way Natashaâs eyes flickered with something dangerously close to amusement.
âFor all of Tonyâs money, youâd think weâd have a coffee machine that actually works,â you grumbled.
âTurn around?â Natasha asked. There was a particular lilt to her voice, that barely concealed intrigue she triedâand failedâto mask whenever she was onto something. It set you on edge instantly, the tone that meant she was clicking a mystery into place, giddy with excitement beneath a thin veil of indifference. You didnât trust it for a second.
âNo, justââ You smacked the machine in frustration. It whined pathetically before the lights blinked off entirely. You let out a long, exasperated groan. âWhy wonât this stupid fucking thing ever workââ
âJesus, youâre covered in itââ
You froze mid-motion as Natasha yanked at your shirt, effectively grooming you like a monkey. Her sharp lips had turned up into a wicked smirk, the type of smirk that made dread pool in your gut.
âEverything is covered in her fur,â you said quickly, still trying for casual. You reached for the plug, praying Natasha would drop it. âShe sheds everywhere, especially on the couch.â
âMm.â Natasha tilted her head, her smirk deepening. âAnd yet, I thought Tony hired cleaners for that? Especially with Kate always bringing Lucky around?â
You yanked the plug from the socket a little too forcefully. âHonestly, Nat, I donât know. I just want this damn machine to work.â
Right on cue, a familiar voice rumbled behind you.
âMachine giving you trouble again?â
Your heart stuttered in your chest before resuming its normal rhythmâthough maybe a little faster. You turned just as Bucky strolled in, looking frustratingly good despite the early hour. His hair was a little dishevelled, sleep still clinging to him in a way that made him look too soft for someone who could snap a manâs spine in half.
âThereâs a trick to it, remember?â He stepped in close beside you, skin brushing yours as he reached for the machine. The scent of his aftershave lingered, warm and familiar. You triedâand failedânot to watch the way the muscles in his forearm tensed, veins shifting beneath his skin as he pressed a series of buttons.
âBarnes, youâve got cat hair all over you,â Natasha noted, not even bothering to be subtle. You didnât dare look at her. Instead, you busied yourself wringing your hands, pretending you werenât hyper-aware of Bucky standing so damn close.
âHuh?â Bucky barely spared a glance at his shirt, where Alpineâs fur was unmistakably clinging to the fabric. âOh. Yeah, guess I do. She always wants attention in the morning.â
Then, with one final smack, the machine roared to life. The rich aroma of coffee filled the air as liquid finally poured into your mug. You sighed in sheer relief.
âThere you go,â Bucky said, looking down at you with a small smile, a few strands of dark hair falling across his forehead.
Your stomach did a stupid little flip. You smiled back, warmth creeping into your face. âThanks.â
The machine beeped again, snapping you back to reality. You quickly grabbed the mug with both hands, muttered another thanks, and let Natasha tug you away.
âWhat was that?â She hissed, voice low as she turned to you with narrowed eyes.
âHuh?â You werenât entirely listening to her words. You found yourself glancing over your shoulder, a ghost of a smile tugging at your lips. You could still see Bucky standing in the kitchen, both hands braced on the counter as he waited for his own coffee. His back was turned, but even through the thin material of his fur-covered t-shirt, you could see the way his muscles shifted beneath itâ
Natasha didnât even humour your innocence. She crossed her arms. âYou and Barnes?â
âWhat about him?â You mumbled, pulling your gaze away as the elevator dinged, doors sliding open.
Her lips twitched, amusement clear. âAre you two*â?*â
You made a face at her. âWhat are you on about?â
Natasha didnât look convinced, but she let it go.
For now.
As the elevator hummed and Bucky was cut from your view as the doors shut, you took a sip of coffee, the liquid a few degrees between too hot and burning. It scalded your tongue, and with the phantom smell of Buckyâs aftershave no longer haunting you, you felt your mind snap back into action.
Right. Focus.
âWeâre going to be late for the meeting,â you declared, shaking your head. âAnd that damn machine is the reason. You know what? Letâs take a detour to Starkâs lab and demand a better one.â
Natasha chuckled, pressing the button for a different floor.
âI like the way you think.â
â
You knew Alpine would be your downfall.
The little white menace was notoriously selective. If you werenât Bucky, she wanted nothing to do with you. Everyone at the compound had suffered her wrath at least onceâSam even had the scars to prove it. Alpine liked to play dangerous games that usually ended in blood or a yowl of pain. You swore the Avengers bled more dealing with the feline than fighting aliens, wizards, or whatever else tried to obliterate Earth every other week. She was a cunning little creature, lurking around corners, hiding under tables, prowling along bookshelves. And just when you least expected itâbam. Teeth and claws bared, she would pounce, latching on like a tiny, vengeful spectre. This was her idea of fun. The Avengers had learned to tread carefully, tip-toeing around the compound whenever they knew she wasnât safely curled up in Buckyâs room, where she ruled with an iron paw.
So, when you sat down on the couch one evening, and Alpine immediately hopped onto your lap, you knew you were fucked.
She didnât hesitate, didnât so much as sniff at you in consideration before curling right up, purring loud enough to be heard over the football game droning on in the backgroundâwhich you were only half paying attention to.
You stiffened, caught between awe at the rare privilege and sheer dread at the witnesses currently gaping at you.
Bucky, for his part, had been sitting at the other end of the couch, flirting with danger in his usual wayâstolen glances, conveniently placed touches as he shifted in place. Alpine, just as obsessed with him as you were (Bucky had taken to calling you both âhis girlsâ in private, which always managed to make you swoon.), had immediately perched in his lap when he sat down. Only when he carefully pried her off to grab another round of beers did the little white she-beast decide you were a worthy substitute, strutting over with lazy, languid confidence before settling down, blissfully unaware of what she had just unleashed.
The room fell into stunned silence. Several pairs of eyes locked onto you, breath collectively held. They were waiting for the yowl, for the inevitable attack, for you to tense up and leap to your feet in pain. But to your horror, the little sadist simply settled in. Cosy, unbothered, as if this had been the plan all along.
âOkay, what the hell is this?â Sam finally demanded, pointing an accusing finger.
You blinked down at Alpine, then up at Sam, stroking the soft fur like nothing was amiss. âUh⊠a cat?â
You were foolish and desperate enough to pretend this was completely normal, to gaslight the others into believing Alpine was a perfectly gentle and affectionate cat. A sweet, loving companion. Not a tiny, vengeful menace who had terrorised them allâand definitely not a creature who had only warmed up to you in recent months because you spent more time in Buckyâs bed than your own.
âThe same cat that tried to claw out my eyeball for getting too close? And now sheâs justââ He gestured wildly at Alpine, who flicked her tail with the smugness of a queen on her throne. ââcuddling with you like youâre her best buddy?â
âShe likes me, I guess.â You blinked innocently, turning back to the TV, hoping he would drop it, but Sam, ever the dramatic, was not satisfied.
âAre you kidding me? That cat has tried to kill me.â
Natasha snorted into her drink.
Alpine smugly licked her paw before resting her head upon your thigh and blinking her wide blue eyes at Sam, who shook his head with an exaggerated shudder. âThis is bullshit, and you know itââ
âMaybe she just doesnât like you, Sam.â You huffed, scratching Alpine behind her ears. âSheâs always been fine with me.â
âThat is not true!â
âShe took a chunk out of my arm once,â Natasha added, ever the instigator.
âRemember when I gave her a treat and she bit me?â Steve piped up.
Bucky returned at that moment, frowning as he saw the conversation unfolding before him. You turned to him with wide, desperate eyes, silently pleading for help. Alpine, the little traitor, merely pressed her pink nose to your hand, rubbing her face against you with a contented sigh.
âShe only likes people sheâs comfortable with,â Bucky offered, setting the beers down with a clink, but his pitiful attempt to be helpful only added fuel to the fire.
The room exploded into a series of overlapping voices.
âI didnât realise you spent so much time with Alpine?â Natashaâs sharp gaze flicked between you and Bucky, her smirk primed to taunt you both.
âBuck, doesnât she spend all her time in your roomâ?â Steve leaned forward, forearms braced against his thighs, invested now.
Sam jolted upright like heâd just solved a murder case. âNow, hold on a secondââ
âYou have been covered in cat fur a lot lately,â Natasha mused. âAnd you two have been suspiciously closeââ
As you glanced over at Bucky, you couldnât tell if his repeated blunders were intentional or borne out of genuine panic. He cleared his throat, his brows raising as he casually popped off the cap of one of the beers with his vibranium thumb in faux nonchalance.
âCoincidence.â He muttered with a shrug, tipping back a mouthful of the brew.
Alpine, completely oblivious (or entirely aware of the chaos sheâd caused), didnât budge as Bucky sat back down beside you, levelling you with a look that screamed we are so screwed.
âYou two arenât even going to try to lie?â Natasha pressed.
âLie about what?â You feigned innocence, but the act was flimsy at best. The jig was well and truly up.
Bucky, clearly done with this little charade, let out a long-suffering sigh that mightâve sounded exasperated if not for the telltale smirk tugging at his lips. Without another word, he slung an arm around your shoulders, pulling you effortlessly against his chest, Alpine still coiled contentedly in your lap. The smug little she-beast didnât even stir. She just purred loudlyâtoo loudly, like she was taking credit for the entire thing.
âWait a second!â Sam pointed a dramatic finger between the two of you. âHow long has this been happening?â
âHow long has what been happening?â Tony strolled into the room, a glass of amber liquid that looked suspiciously like whiskey in hand.
âHer,â Steve announced, gesturing between the both of you. âAnd Barnes.â
Tony didnât even blink. âOh, I already knew that. You didnât know that?â
Bucky turned so fast you were surprised he didnât give himself whiplash. âYou what?â
âOh, come on,â Tony drawled, making himself comfortable on the armrest of the couch like this was all just another day at the office. âYou really thought I wouldnât notice her sneaking out of your room at ungodly hours for the past six months? F.R.I.D.A.Y. kept flagging intruders, and, shockerâit was just you two, utterly failing at stealth.â
Sam threw up his hands. âDid you say six months?!â
Bucky rolled his eyes, but instead of answering, he just turned to you and, without hesitation, kissed you.
It was sudden but warm, his lips soft against yours like heâd been waiting for an excuse. The room erupted into even more noise, Sam shouting something unintelligible, Natasha making a sound of smug satisfaction, and Steve groaning like he shouldâve known, but it all faded into the background.
You laughed against Buckyâs lips, breathless but entirely unbothered. âThis is definitely her fault.â
Alpine, still purring in your lap like the devious little mastermind she was, flicked her tail.
Bucky just hummed, brushing his nose against yours. âYeah,â he muttered. âNot complaining, though.â
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Thought to myself: Oh, I'll just bang out a quick one-shot and try writing smut for the first time, and it somehow turned into this monstrosity (sorry for the word count)
Pairing: Avengers!Bucky x Scientist!Reader
Summary: The experimental neurobond was an accident. Getting stuck with Bucky Barnes was just your luck. Now youâre linkedâbody, mind, and something worse: sexual tension. Youâve got 72 hours to resist him. And every hour, it gets harder to remember why you should...
Warnings: 18+ (mdni!). Explicit Sexual Content. Enemies to Lovers. Forced Proximity. Accidental Neurobond. Shared Dreams. Shared Physical Sensations. Angst. Mutual Pining. Female Masturbation. Oral Sex (f receiving), Dirty Talk, Vaginal Sex. Praise Kink. Creampie. Multiple Orgasms. Post Thunderbolts Setting. Fluff.
Word Count: 16k
Youâre three sips into your too-hot coffee when you see him.
Heâs leaning against the wall outside Lab 4, all broad shoulders and brooding posture, like some kind of noir detective who wandered into a government facility and refused to leave. Tactical black from neck to boots. That infamous metal arm crossed over his chest like it has something to say and no one brave enough to contradict it.
Tall. Sharp. Sullen.
James Buchanan Barnes.
You stop mid-step. Your brain short-circuits just long enough for the lid of your coffee cup to betray youâa small dribble of liquid lava hits the edge of your hand.
âShit,â you hiss, wiping it on your lab coat. Not the best look, but frankly, itâs not like he can judge. You have your flaws. He has a kill count.
Captain Americaâs ex-best friend. The Winter Soldier turned Avenger. The human embodiment of a sealed file. Exactly what your overclocked nervous system needs at seven in the damn morning.
You donât hate him. That would require too much emotional investment. What you feel is more like⊠persistent irritation mixed with a healthy dose of distrust. Heâs everything you resent about agents: cocky, haunted, prone to unpredictable violence, and somehow still glorified in every agency briefing and classified report.
But more than thatâitâs the Budapest symposium.
Two months ago, you were presenting a closed-door session on the ethical implications of biometric surveillance overlays in the field. Youâd made a case for data-limited neural interface protocolsâno deep emotion-mapping without consent, no unconscious tracking. You had charts. Citations. A damn good argument.
And Bucky Barnes? He was in the back row, arms folded, face unreadable. Before the time even came for questions, he stood up and askedâin front of a dozen international regulatorsâ
âArenât you just trying to build a better leash?â
The room had gone quiet. Youâd gone cold. Because the worst part wasâhe hadnât been wrong.
He walked out before you could answer, leaving you to field the fallout with a thin smile and a throat full of fury. You spent the next week drafting three different sarcastic emails you never sent.
So no, youâre not thrilled to see him outside your lab. Especially not looking like a government-issued mistake youâd almost make twice.
âYouâre here,â you say once your voice decides to cooperate. You hold your coffee like a weaponâor a shield. âAnd scowling. Which I think breaks at least two of our site protocols.â
He turns his head slightly. Those icy blue eyes flick toward you, unreadable behind the scruff and the perpetual shadow of something heavier than war. Youâve read the file. But seeing him again in person is different. Less haunted soldier, more statue carved from tension.
âSecurity assignment,â he says, voice low and gravel-rough. âIâm with you today.â
You blink. âExcuse me?â
âProtocol says highest-risk assets get an escort during internal breach investigations.â
And by âprotocolâ, he means Val.
You stare at him. âI thought that meant someone like Ava. Or Lena. NotâŠâ You gesture vaguely at all of him. âThis whole glowering thing.â
He doesnât answer. Just steps forward, pushes the door open, and holds it for you with exaggerated politenessâlike a gentleman or a prison warden. Youâre not sure which is worse.
You walk past him muttering, âIâm not a high-risk asset. Iâm a scientist who got stuck in the crossfire of a bureaucratic dick-measuring contest.â
He follows close behind, boots heavy on the linoleum. âYou designed a compound that links neural responses across two brains. Thatâs high-risk by definition.â
You spin on your heel to face him. âIt was theoretical. You know what theoretical means, right? No human trials. No deployment. No volunteers. The compound is locked down in cold storage with three redundant containment protocols.â
Thereâs a beat of silence.
âYou sound defensive,â he goads mildly.
Your jaw drops. âI sound correct.â
He raises one eyebrow, expression neutralâwhich somehow makes it worse. âYou always this wound up?â
You glare. âOnly when former assassins are breathing down my neck before breakfast.â
He gives the faintest shrug, like itâs not worth arguing. You turn away again, heels clicking faster now as you head for the secure wing, hoping you look more in control than you feel.
God, you havenât even had time to check your email.
The corridor stretches long and bright and sterile, lined with reinforced doors and retina scanners, every square foot designed to scream classified. You reach the final keypad and punch in your code, a practiced sequence that usually calms you. But this morning it just makes your fingers itch.
The door slides open with a quiet beepâ
And the air hits you like a punch to the face.
Your nostrils flare instinctively. Sharp. Acrid. A faint metallic tang riding the edge of the ventilation.
Chemical.
You freeze. One second. Two. Your brain connects the dots a hair too late.
Gas.
âNo, no, noââ
You drop your coffeeâcup and allâand sprint into the lab. Your eyes lock instantly on the containment cabinet against the far wall. The red emergency light above it pulses in warning, casting the walls in sickly, flickering hues.
The cabinetâwhere the prototype compound is stored under triple-sealed cryo-containmentâis open. Not wide. Just⊠cracked. A whisper of vapor hisses from its seams like breath from a sleeping monster.
You spin toward the door. âBarnes, get the door sealedââ
But heâs already inside, scanning the room, eyes sharp and military-fast, and itâs too late anyway.
The soft whoomp of emergency ventilation kicks in, the system responding to your alert. You stagger as the remaining aerosolized compound bursts into the air in a rapid pressure releaseâmicroscopic particles blooming invisible around you like a deadly fog.
You cough. Once. Twice. The taste hits the back of your throat. And then you feel it.
Not panic. Not exactly. More like a tug just behind your ribs. A subtle wrongness threading through your consciousness like a splinter sliding in the grain.
Not pain. Not fear. Something else. Something other.
You turnâand Bucky Barnes is staring at you like youâve both just heard the same gunshot.
His pupils are blown. His stance off-kilter. He looksâ
Connected. Like he feels it too.
âOh shit,â you whisper.
Because thereâs only one thing in that cabinet capable of inducing a shared neuro-emotive feedback loop between two human brains.
And now it isnât theoretical anymore. Itâs happening.
To you. And him. Together.
â-
Youâre ushered into quarantine within six minutes of exposure.
By minute seven, your blood pressure has been taken, your pupils checked, and your ego thoroughly trampled by a flurry of panicked lab techsâand one very smug containment officer who keeps muttering, âTold you this was going to happen,â like your entire lifeâs work exists solely to vindicate his mediocre career.
By minute ten, youâre sitting on the edge of a cot in Isolation Chamber A, glaring through the reinforced glass at James Buchanan Barnes in Chamber B like you can will his lungs to stop working out of sheer spite.
He, unfortunately, looks fine.
âYou donât look like youâre dying,â he says blandly.
You fold your arms. âNeither do you. Tragic oversight.â
He doesnât smile. Of course not. He just leans back on his cot with that frustratingly composed, ex-assassin posture. Like stillness is a performance and heâs performing it at an Olympic level.
It makes your teeth itch.
âYou feel anything?â he asks, casually. Too casually. As if heâs not currently entangled in a theoretical neural tether that was never supposed to reach human trials, much less him.
You hesitate. âNot really.â
Which isnât a lie. But it isnât the whole truth either.
Physically, you feel fine. No nausea. No tremors. No limbic misfires. But thereâs something else. A buzz under your skin. Familiar, because you modeled it. Dismissibleâuntil it isnât.
A quiet frequency, just at the edge of perception. Like pressure. Or breath on the back of your neck.
Mental static. Not yours.
âI feel something,â Bucky says. He frownsâan actual expressionâand taps his chest once, distracted. âNot pain. Just⊠something else.â
You arch a brow. âLet me guess. Low-level irritation and the overwhelming urge to be left alone?â
His eyes flick to yours. âExactly.â
You scowl. âThatâs me, genius.â
He blinks. Then frowns harder. âShit.â
You groan. âNope. This cannot be happening. Absolutely not. No thank you.â
You stand up abruptly and start pacing. The cot creaks behind you like it also hates this.
Because this is bad. Not theoretically bad. Functionally. You know what the compound is designed to doâand how unstable it gets at full potency. This isnât an accident. Itâs a worst-case scenario.
The door hisses open.
Dr. Yen, the Chief Medical Officer of your division steps in, tablet already lit, lips pressed thin. Youâve seen that look before. It means the results are in, and youâre not going to like them.
âVitals are stable,â she says. âNo visible cellular breakdown. But limbic scans are confirming cross-resonance.â
You close your eyes. âSo itâs real.â
âItâs real,â she confirms. âYouâre linked.â
Across the glass, Bucky sighs. âLinked how?â
Yen barely looks up. âEmotionally. Neurologically. The aerosolized bond agent was absorbed via mucosal membranesâeyes, nose, mouth. Maximum contact.â
âYouâre saying weâre⊠what? Reading each otherâs minds?â
âNot minds,â you say automatically. âEmotional states. Neural fluctuations. Maybe low-level somatic impulses.â
She nods. âShared dreams are possible. Mirror physiology. Elevated empathy. Possibly even localized reflex responses.â
Bucky raises an eyebrow. âSo if she stubs her toe, I feel it?â
âNot unless your motor cortex overcompensates. Which is unlikely. For now.â
You sit back down, hard. âThis wasnât supposed to happen.â
Yen gives you a dry look. âNo, but your nameâs still at the top of the protocol. I believe the phrase you used in your original paper was âtemporary adaptive tethering of live-state neural patterns via synthetic limbic resonance.ââ
You mutter, âGod, I hate myself.â
âYou invented the scientific version of a psychic handcuff,â Bucky says.
You glare at him. âTrust me, if I could break it off and throw it in a volcano, I would.â
He leans back again, exasperated, like this is just another mission gone sideways. But you see it nowâunderneath the irritation. Not just annoyance.
Curiosity. Amusement. And something quieter that you canât place yet.
Dr. Yen taps through her readings. âWeâre transferring you to Observation Room One. Together.â
âWhat? Why?â you ask.
âBecause separating you could intensify the neurological drift. The bond is responding to proximityâremoving it might trigger feedback escalation.â
You blink. âEscalation?â
âIncreased bleed. Emotional volatility. Uncontrolled synching. You remember, the time we tested on mice, one started trying to dig a tunnel with its face when the other was removed.â
You stare.
Bucky sighs. âGreat. Canât wait.â
Dr. Yen continues, already halfway out the door. âIâll monitor for spike activity. Try not to kill each other.â
The door hisses shut behind her.
You look at Bucky. He looks at you. And just like that, the hum gets louder. Not in the room. In your chest. Like the tension between you has grown teeth.
âDonât talk to me,â you mutter, grabbing your duffel.
He smirks. âI donât have to. Youâre already broadcasting loud and clear.â
âThen prepare to suffer.â
You follow the guards out of the chamber, still vibrating with dread, loathing, and a pressure you absolutely refuse to call attraction.
He falls in step beside you.
And just before the door closes behind you, you hear him mutter, âCould be worse.â
You donât look at him.
He finishes anyway. âYou could be stuck with Walker.â
â
The room isnât big. Two cots. One bathroom. A table with bolted-down chairs. A surveillance camera blinking red in the corner like a passive-aggressive metronome. The airâs too cold, the lights too bright, and the fluorescent hum drills straight into the base of your skull.
Everything about the room says safe and neutral. Which really means sterile. A trap.
You sit across from Bucky at the table, arms folded tight across your chest, as if sheer compression might keep your thoughts from bleeding into the air between you.
It doesnât work.
Thereâs that tug behind your ribsâlow, persistent, off. Not pain. Not even discomfort, really. Just⊠dissonance. Like your bodyâs tuned to the wrong frequency and canât stop resonating. Or, more accurately: someone else is doing the vibrating, and youâre just along for the ride.
Barnes stretches out in his chair like heâs got nowhere better to be, shuffling a deck of cards with infuriating calm. His hands move slow and steady. Like heâs done this before. Like it centers him.
You donât want to know what he needs centering from.
The silence builds, heavy and electric. Until finally, you crack.
âSo,â you say, deadpan. âThis is awkward.â
He doesnât look up. Just keeps shuffling. âYou think?â
âYouâre taking this very well for someone who just got mentally handcuffed to basically a complete stranger.â
His jaw flexes but he only shrugs. âNot the weirdest thing thatâs happened to me.â
Thereâs no bravado in it. Just tired truth.
You sigh. âGod. What a comforting standard.â
He cuts the deck with a flick of his wrist, then holds a card out toward you without even glancing up. You narrow your eyes. Then take it anyway.
Blackjack. Of course.
âIs this how you pass time in high-security quarantine?â you mutter. âGambling with unwilling civilians?â
âYouâre not unwilling,â he replies easily. âYouâre just pissed itâs your own fault youâre stuck with me, Doc.â
You open your mouthâthen close it again. Because the second he says it, you feel it: a jolt of annoyance. Not just yours. A flicker of his, folded inside something steadier. Something infuriatingly composed.
Your irritation rebounds like a ricochetâhits something calm. Anchored. And softens.
You feel it. His quiet, bone-deep stillness sliding under your skin like heat through a vent. Not comforting. Not invasive. Just there.
You stare at him, breath catching. Then drop the card on the table. âGod. This is real.â
He finally meets your eyes. âYeah. It is.â
âIt was just a theory. I never meant for it to get to this⊠But yâknow, Val.â
He jerks out a nod. Your pulse kicks. âYou can feel me.â
He nods once. âAnd you can feel me. Canât you?â
You donât answer right away.
Taking stock of whatâs resonating through your body. A pressure you want to think is just the room, the strangeness of proximity, the humiliating weight of a containment protocol gone wrong.
But itâs not the room. Itâs him.
You can feel his focus when he watches youâthat heavy, unblinking heat of attention, like standing too close to a silent engine. You can feel his amusement when you snap at him, like your temper tickles something buried and patient beneath the surface. You can feel the effort it takes for him to stay backâto keep his emotional distance while youâre sitting three feet away. Like heâs building a wall in real time, plank by plank. You can feel him trying not to feel you.
Biting your lip, you take a few deep breaths, trying to calm your rapidly rising pulse. Itâs intimate in the worst possible way. The kind that makes privacy a joke and pretending pointless.
Every flicker of discomfort. Of defensiveness. Of attractionâ
Wait.
Your stomach flips. That wasnât yours.
It comes in hot and sharp, a spike of want so visceral it knocks the breath out of you. Frustration tangled with something lower. Needier. You havenât felt anything like that in months, maybe years.
For one stupid second, you want to crawl out of your skin. And then itâs gone. Or suppressed. Or masked. Orâ
âYou okay?â he asks.
His voice is lower now. Cautious.
You nod too fast. âFine.â
You can tell he doesnât buy it. Doesnât need to. He probably feels the spike in your chest, the flicker of your pulse when it jumps. Youâve lost your poker face. And not because of the cards. God, you are never going to survive this.
âSo we're just stuck here?â you ask, trying to steady your voice. âWe just sit here for three days and try not to think about anything incriminating?â
He tilts his head, the corner of his mouth twitching. âThatâs not really how brains work. And just a gentle reminderâyouâre the one who built this little science fair nightmare.â
You groan and bury your face in your hands. âI am going to kill Dr. Yen.â
âShe said itâs temporary.â
âShe also said we might share dreams.â
Bucky makes a face. âDonât dream much anymore.â
âWell, I do,â you mutter. âAnd I donât need you wandering through my subconscious.â
A beat.
âYou think I want you in mine?â
That shuts you up. Because no. You donât think he wants anyone in there. Not even himself.
The silence settles again. But itâs not empty.
You can feel his discomfort now. Quiet and low-grade. But there. Wrapped around something denser. Guilt, maybe. Something that sticks. And underneath itâjust barelyâcuriosity.
You sit back, exhaling. âWe need ground rules.â
âLike what?â
âLike no thinking about sex. Or trauma. Or childhood pets.â
He snorts. âIn that order?â
âEspecially in that order.â
You catch the edge of a smile before he looks down again, resuming his slow, steady shuffle. The cards whisper against each other like theyâre in on the joke.
You try not to notice how your chest feels a little less tight. How the noise in your head quiets when his focus drifts. How the hum beneath your skin feels less like static and more like something alive, because youâre feeling him. AndâGod help youâheâs feeling you.
âÂ
The lights never fully shut off. They dim, sure, but the surveillance camera stays on, its little red eye blinking in the corner like itâs watching your soul unravel in real time. The overhead fluorescents are on a slow cycle, just soft enough to lull your brain into thinking it can restâuntil the second you close your eyes and they flicker again.
Youâre not sleeping. And judging by the restless way Bucky shifts on his cot every few minutesâblankets rustling, jaw grindingâhe isnât either.
The silence is loud. Not peaceful. Not companionable. Just dense. Like the air itself is waiting for one of you to say something that will tip the whole room over the edge.
Youâve tried reading. Tried meditating. Tried breathing exercises, even though you usually hate those with a passion reserved for line-cutters and PowerPoint animations.
None of it helps. Because whatever thin emotional boundary once existed between you and Bucky Barnes has long since dissolved.
His emotions creep into you like fogâquiet, heavy, invasive. You donât get specifics, not clearly, but the mood is unmistakable. Guilt. Anger. A bone-deep ache compressed into something sharp and humming under the surface.
You feel it. And worseâyou can tell heâs trying not to let you.
You roll over for the hundredth time, then give up. Sit up. Rub your hands over your face. The room feels like itâs shrinking. Or maybe itâs just the part of your brain still screaming about boundaries.
From across the room, his voice finally cuts through the quiet.
âYou feel that too?â
Itâs rough. Quiet. Worn raw from disuse.
You blink into the dim. âThe⊠what? The vague, awful sense that Iâm about to start crying for no reason?â
A beat.
âYeah,â he says. âThat.â
You press your fingertips to your temples. âGod, is that you or me? I canât even tell anymore.â
âMe,â he says immediately. âSorry.â
You shake your head, rubbing your hands down your thighs. âDonât be.â
And you mean it. Sort of.
âDo you wanna talk about it?â you ask, still not looking up. Youâre not sure which one of you will flinch harder at the offer.
Heâs quiet long enough that you figure itâs a no. A nerve hit. A wall closed.
Then, âNo.â
You nod, the cot creaking beneath you. âFair.â
A breath passes.
âBut I might anyway,â he mutters, so low you almost miss it.
That makes you look. Heâs sitting now, hunched forward with his elbows on his knees, staring at the floor like it might disappear if he looks hard enough. His vibranium fingers twitchâabsent, reflexive.
âItâs likeâŠâ he starts, then stops. You wait. âWhen I was the Soldier, there were days I didnât feel anything. Years, probably. Just⊠silence. Nothing in my head but orders.â
You stay still. Hold your breath.
âAnd then it all came back. All at once. Like my brain had been hoarding it in a box and someone finally kicked it open. And I couldnât breathe under it.â
The weight of it lands between you like ash.
âAnd this?â He looks up at last. His face isnât cold. It isnât angry. Itâs just tired. Raw.
âThis feels like that. Too much. Too close. Like I canât shut the door.â
Your throat tightens. Because you feel it tooâhis overwhelm, his fear of being seen, his instinct to slam every door before someone gets inside. It isnât unfamiliar.
His jaw ticks. His eyes stay locked on yours. âAnd now youâre in my head."
âAnd now Iâm in your head,â you echo.
Thereâs a beat before a low, dark laugh escapes him.
âWell. Fuck me.â
You smileâtiny, reflexive. âTempting.â
His gaze sharpens at that. And instantly, you regret itânot because of the joke, but because of the response it pulls.
Want.
It hits like a shock to the chest. Sudden. Warm. Unmasked. Not lust. Not crude. Longing.
You flinch. Inhale sharply.
He looks away fast. âShit. That wasnât on purpose.â
You shoot to your feet, pulse kicking. âYouâre not supposed to broadcast things like that.â
âI wasnât!â His voice risesâgritty, strained. âIâve been locking everything down since this started. But apparently your brainâs running on the emotional equivalent of a glass wall.â
You stare at him, heat rushing up your neck. âJesus, Bucky.â
âYou think I want you to know that Iââ He cuts himself off, jaw clenching hard. Shakes his head like heâs trying to shove the feeling back down his throat.
You cross your arms tightly over your chest. âI donât want to feel this.â
âYeah, well, me neither.â
The silence snaps tight. You stand there, two hearts hammering in unison, locked in some terrible emotional feedback loop neither of you asked for. It doesnât break. It pulses harder.
âI think I need a wall,â you mutter. âA mental one. Like an internal firewall.â
âI tried that already,â he says. âDidnât hold.â
You look at him. Heâs watching you again. Still. And itâs not anger on his face anymore. Itâs grief.
âThis is a violation of literally every HR protocol in existence,â you mumble, arms still crossed.
âGood thing I donât work here.â
You snort. It escapes before you can stop it. And you feel itâthat flicker of relief from him. Small. Fleeting. But real.
You sit down hard on the edge of your cot. âIâm not good at this.â
âNeither am I.â
âI donât want you to feel what Iâm feeling.â
âI already do.â
You fall quiet. Because, for better or worse, youâre in this together now. You donât know whatâs scarierâthat he can feel your loneliness. Or that you can feel his.
â
Youâre dreaming.
You know it without knowing how. Itâs the stillness that gives it away. Like the air is too weightless, the light too diffuseânothing casting shadows, nothing fully real. The kind of hush that doesnât exist in waking life.Â
Youâre standing in a field youâve never seen before. Itâs not specific. Just green. A meadow with no wind, no scent, no sound. Every color softened at the edges like an unfinished rendering. It doesnât feel like anything.
And thatâs what tells you itâs yours. A liminal space. Peaceful. Barely conscious.
You close your eyes. And thatâs when you feel it. A presence. A pulse.
Not in the dreamâin you. Tapping against your thoughts like someone knocking softly on the inside of your skull.
Not words. Not movement. Just pressure. Steady. Coiled. Heavy with something unsaid.
Your eyes open. You turn in place, scanning the edges of the field, expectingâNothing.
But the weight gets stronger. You feel it in your chest. Low. Familiar. Tense.
Bucky.
But you donât see him. You just know heâs close. Or maybe not even close. Maybe just⊠bleeding in.
Your dream flickers.
A breeze picks upâimpossible in a dream thatâs never moved before. The grass ripples once, unnatural and out of sync, like the physics here are starting to break.
Your pulse stutters. And thenâ
It hits.
The air tears. The color drops. The field vanishes like someone cuts the feed.
And suddenly youâre underground.
A corridor. Narrow. Stained concrete walls. The ceiling is low, the light sharp blue and sterile. The air tastes like iron and rust. You stumble. Your knees scrape. You catch yourself on a wall that shouldnât be cold, but is. Itâs disorienting. Wrong. You know this isnât your dream.
Itâs his.
âBucky?â you call out.
No answer. But the pressure behind your ribs spikes. You push forward anyway. Each step echoes. Your own, but alsoâhis. Mismatched. Heavy. You turn a corner and see him.
Heâs not looking at you. Heâs walking in the opposite direction, body rigid, head bowed, like heâs being led. Or dragged.
Heâs not dressed like the man you know. No tactical black. No soft tee and boots. Just bare arms and restraints. Fresh bruises. The remnants of blood not his own.
Heâs not Bucky. Not here.
You try to speak but your voice fails. He turns the corner ahead. You follow.
The room you enter is stark. Cold. A chair in the centerâstripped down and inhuman. Restraints hanging like dead vines. A spotlight fixed directly above it.
Heâs standing beside it now, still not looking at you. The air is too still. Too thick. The bond hums so loudly you want to scream. And then he speaks.
âDonât look.â
You freeze. His voice is quiet. Barely audible. But itâs him.
He still wonât face you.
âBucky, this isnâtââ
âI said donât look,â he says again. Sharper this time. A commandânot to control you, but to protect himself. To hide. âYou donât want to see this.â
But itâs too late. The dreamâhis memoryâwraps around you like wire. Sharp and invasive. You feel it like itâs your own. Not a picture. Not a scene. A flood.
Pain. Control. The snap of identity stripped away. Screams that echo without sound. The weight of command phrases burned into neural pathways like rot beneath the skin.
You stagger backward. But the bond holds. You feel it all. The moment he gave up trying to remember his name. The moment he forgot why it mattered.
âPlease,â he says. Heâs still facing away from you. Shoulders tense. Fists clenched.
âIâm sorry,â you whisper, tears blurring the edges of the dream.
âThis isnât yours,â he grits out. âYou shouldnât be here.â
You take a step closer anyway. That makes him turn. Not all the way. Just enough for you to see itâhis face. Younger. Blank. Terrified.
âI didnât want you to see,â he gestures to himself. âThis.â
âI didnât mean to,â you say, voice shaking. âI fell asleep and⊠you pulled me in.â
He winces. Like that makes it worse.
âI tried not to,â he admits. âIâm sorry.â
You reach out, slowly, not to touch himâjust to offer your hand. Because right now, youâre in this together. And the bond doesnât care what either of you want.
His gaze flicks to it. Then to you. His jaw flexes. And he takes it.
The second your fingers touch, the dream shudders. The restraints flicker. The chair vanishes. The floor beneath you cracksâjust hairline fractures, like the nightmare is losing hold.
âIâm still here,â you say.
âI know,â he says softly.
And thenâ
â
You jolt upright in your cot, heart hammering. Breath sharp. Palms sweaty.
Across the room, Bucky sits up just as fastâlike something yanked him out of deep water. Heâs already breathing hard, sweat darkening the collar of his shirt, jaw clenched like it might hold something back if he just bites down hard enough.
You lock eyes. Neither of you speak. Not at first. The air is thick with something raw and invisible. Or the kind of silence that settles after a confession neither of you wanted to make.
He runs a hand over his face. âSo. That happened.â
âYeah,â you rasp.
You donât say what that was. You donât need to. You felt it. Lived it. Not as a witness. Not even as a passenger. As a part of him. And now you canât un-feel it. Canât shove it into a clean corner labeled âhis problemâ. Itâs in you now. In your chest. Threaded through your ribs like something grafted there on instinct.
You shift slightly, fingers curling into the edge of the blanket, grounding yourself in anything that isnât his memory. But it doesnât help. The emotional weight is still there, even as the dream fades. A dull ache under your skin. The echo of metal restraints and too-bright lights.
He exhales, rough and low. âI didnât want you to see that.â
You donât answer right away. Instead, you lie back slowly, eyes on the ceiling. Cold. Pockmarked. Real. And for the first time since this started, you stop trying to block him out. Because the truth is, you donât want to. Even now, with the weight of what you saw still lodged somewhere between your lungs. You donât want to pretend you didnât see him.
âItâs not your fault,â you murmur. âThat I saw it.â
âNo. But itâs still mine.â
You turn your head. Heâs staring at the floor now, hands braced on his knees, elbows sharp beneath the sleeves of his shirt. His metal fingers twitch slightly. Barely a motion, but it radiates with tension. You feel that, too. Of course you do.
âDo you think if we sleep againâŠâ you start, then trail off.
He finishes it. âWeâll go back?â
You nod once.
He shrugs. âDonât know. Iâve never had to share a nightmare before.â
You breathe in. Then out. Neither of you moves.
The hum of the overhead lights seems louder now. The surveillance camera ticks faintly in the corner. Somewhere, two hearts beat in rhythm without trying.
âIâm not tired,â you say.
He glances up at you. âMe neither.â
Itâs a lie, on both ends. You can feel it in your body. The ache. The heaviness. The way your limbs sink just a little deeper into the mattress. But sleep isnât safe now. Not when it might mean pulling each other into things neither of you are ready to carry, let alone share.
You sit up again. Curl your legs under you. Bucky shifts to do the same. Itâs not planned. It just happens.
No one speaks for a while. And thenâ
âIâm sorry you had to,â he starts, so quietly it barely lands. âFeel that.â
The words linger, fragile but deliberate. They hang in the air like breath held too long.
Bucky doesnât look at you. Not right away. His shoulders stay tight, his stare pinned to the floor like heâs trying to unsee what he knows you saw.Â
You study him. And something shifts in your chest. Itâs not sympathy. Not even admiration. Itâs deeper than that. Stranger. Something close to aweâand not the clean kind. The complicated kind. The kind that unsettles.
Because now youâve seen him. Not the soldier. Not the sarcasm and shadow. The person. The fear. The memory. The grief.
And somehow, that makes him feel⊠real. Not more fragile. Not smaller. Just clearer. Youâre seeing him now in a way you hadnât before. And itâs doing something to you.
Is it the link?
You want to say yes. Want to blame the synaptic bleed, the proximity, the dream. Want to label it as data and side effects and bad timing. But deep down, youâre not sure. Not anymore.
You shift. Your voice, when it comes, is quieter than before.
âDo you have them a lot?â
He stills for a beat too long. Then he exhales, the sound low. âUsed to. Nightly. For years.â
You nod, eyes tracing the seam of your blanket. âBut not anymore?â
âNot like that,â he admits.
Something in your chest lifts, but only a little.
âSoâŠâ you hesitate, careful not to make it sound like anything more than what it is.Â
âWas it easier this time? With me there?â
This time, he looks up. Direct. Steady. No evasion. His voice is quiet. Almost reluctant. âYeah.â
You blink. It shouldnât matter. It shouldnât land the way it does. But it does. Because it means something. Or it might. Or maybe it only feels like it does because your brain is lit up on synthetic empathy and shared neural architecture. But still. It means something.
You nod, barely. âOkay.â
You donât say whatâs spinning in your chest: I see you now. I donât want to look away. I donât know if thatâs you or me or both.
You can feel that he doesnât want to ask either. Not yet. So neither of you does.
You both just sit there, in the dimmed silence. The bondâa quiet, pulsing presence between your ribs. And this time, you donât try to shut it out. You just let yourself feel it. Feel him.
â
You wake up suddenlyâhot, restless, throat dry. Your skin is flushed. Your pulse a little too fast. Your legs tangled in the blanket like you were shifting more than sleeping. It takes you a second to orient. The cot. The hum of the lights. And the slow burn pulsing under your skin.
You press your palms to your eyes. Shit.
Youâre not dreaming anymore, but your body hasnât gotten the message. Everything feels hypersensitive. Like someone turned up the volume on every nerve ending and forgot to turn it back down.
You exhale. Try to steady your breathing. But then your gaze shiftsâand you see him.
Buckyâs still sitting where he was when you drifted off. Back against the wall. He looks calm, but thereâs a sharpness in the set of his jaw, a tension in his posture.
He never went to sleep. Heâs watching you now. Quiet. Steady. Like he already knows what youâre feeling.
You shift upright on the cot, trying to tamp it downâthe warmth low in your belly, the ache that has no business being this loud, this early, in a lab-grade holding cell with your unintentional telepathic security detail.
âDid IâŠâ you start, voice scratchy, âdid I fall asleep again?â
He nods, slow. âAround four. You didnât mean to.â
Your mouth goes dry. âDid youâŠ?â
âNo. You didnât dream loud enough this time.â
Itâs a joke. You think.
But then he tilts his head a fraction, brows drawing slightly together. âYou feel⊠okay?â
You hesitate. Because yes. You do feel okay. You feel too okay. Your heart is kicking a little faster than it should and you know without looking in a mirror that your pupils are probably dilated.
Thereâs no fear. No adrenaline. Justâ Want. Need. Aching. And youâre not entirely sure where itâs coming from.
âI feel⊠weird,â you murmur.
He shifts a little. You feel the ripple before you see it.
âYeah,â he says. âSame.â
You glance at him again and your stomach flips. Because now that youâre paying attention, you can feel it. The thrum. The tension. That low, slow ache in your bloodstream that isnât just yours anymore.
You clear your throat. âThis doesnât feelâŠemotional.â
âNo,â he agrees. His voice is lower now. Rough. âIt feels physical.â
Your breath catches. You both look away at the same time. The air thickens.
And then the door hisses open.
Dr. Yen steps in like a fire alarm, holding her tablet like a shield. âMorning,â she says briskly. âVitals check.â
You sit still while she scans you. Bucky does too. Her eyes narrow slightly as she reads, her mouth pressing into a thin line.
Then she sighs. âOkay. So. Bit of a development.â
You wince, already bracing for whatever comes next.
âThe bondâs progressing faster than expected. Your convergence scores are spiking well ahead of baseline. Youâre already presenting signs of full-spectrum neural and somatic reciprocity.â
You blink. âSomatic?â
Yen nods. âBody-based responses. Sympathetic systems syncing. Neurochemical fluctuations. Endocrine bleed.â
You just stare.
Bucky crosses his arms. âTranslation?â
âYouâre not just feeling each otherâs moods anymore,â Yen says. âYouâre reacting to each otherâs hormones.â
You freeze.
âSo thisâŠ?â you ask, gesturing vaguely to your whole overheated, vibrating situation.
She nods. âElevated oxytocin, dopamine, serotoninâboth of you. Youâre experiencing mutual physiological⊠arousal.â
You swear under your breath. Bucky exhales through his nose, sharp.
Yen scrolls. âThis is accelerating. You may experience projection next. Sensory cross-talk. Physical feedback from imagined stimuli.â
You and Bucky donât move.
âYou meanââ you start.
âYes,â she says. âIf one of you starts thinking about something⊠the other might feel it.â
You shut your eyes. Hard. Bucky shifts.
Yen closes the tablet. âWeâre working on a counter-agent. In the meantimeâstay calm. Avoid escalation. Try not to, yâknow, spiral.â
She gives you both a tight smile thatâs not a smile and ducks out the door.
The moment it hisses shut, silence slams back into place. You donât look at him. He doesnât look at you. But you feel each other. Your blood still buzzes, warm and quick, like something is sparking just under the surface.
âI need a cold shower,â you mutter.
âIf youâre feeling what Iâm feeling,â he says, voice low and tight, âthatâs not gonna help.â
Neither of you laughs. Because itâs not funny anymore.
You donât move and neither does he. You stay on opposite cots, both too still, both too aware. You can feel the bond buzzing like a live wire behind your ribsâno longer subtle, no longer background noise.
Not just his mood. Not just tension or restraint. His thoughts. Vague, half-formed shapes brushing up against your mind like fogged glass. You donât get detail, not reallyâbut thereâs pressure behind it. Focus. Heat.
You swallow. Hard.
He shifts again, one leg stretching out, and your eyes flick to the motion without meaning to. Just his hand. Just his thigh. Just some insane amount of muscle in a pair of extremely not regulation sweatpants. And thatâs when it hits you. A spike of awareness.
Low. Sharp. Direct.
Not yours. Yours now, but not originally.
Your breath stutters. Because that wasnât your thought. That was his. You close your eyes, but it doesnât help.
Now you can feel it more clearly: the way his thoughts catch on your bare legs, on your neck, on the way you just bit your bottom lip without realizing it.
The image forms before you can stop it. Your body reacting to his body. His gaze. His mind. A flash of heat coils low in your stomach. You shift suddenly. Sharp, fast, like that might reset something. It doesnât.
He feels the shift in you. You know he does. You feel his whole body tense in response. The link thrums, nearly audible in your skull.
âStop,â you whisper, breath catching.
âI didnât mean to,â he says, voice hoarse.
You press your palm to your sternum. Itâs like trying to press out a heartbeat that isnât even yours.
âI can feel it when you look at me like that,â you mutter.
âIâm trying not to,â he says through gritted teeth.
âWell, try harder,â you snapâbut itâs shaky, breathless.
Your thighs press together unconsciously. And that, he feels. He lets out a breathâlow, ragged, like it hurts to hold it.
âDonât do that,â he says.
âDonât what?â you snap, voice high and tight.
âThat. The thing with your legs.â
You go still. And the heat spikes. The thought now forming in your head is yours. Itâs real. Immediate. Something to do with him between your knees, his hands on your hips, his mouth at your throat. The sound heâd make if you pulled his shirt off. The look in his eyes whenâ
He jerks upright like heâs been electrocuted.
âJesus Christ,â he mutters, scrubbing a hand over his face.
You slap a hand over your own mouth, mortified. âI didnât mean to think that.â
âI know,â he growls.
And stillâyour body pulses. That awful, exquisite feedback loop. Want ricocheting back and forth until you donât know whose it was to begin with.
You drag your blanket up like its armor. âWe canât do this.â
âNo,â he agrees immediately. âWe canât.â
You lock eyes. And donât look away.
The silence that follows is different now. Charged. Taut. Itâs not that the attraction is new. Itâs that thereâs nowhere left to hide it. No denial. No wall. Just each other. You lie back slowly, exhaling through your nose. Trying to calm your heart. Trying not to think of him. It doesnât work.
Buckyâs breathing is heavier now. Not dramaticâbut deeper. Controlled. You feel it against your own skin. You knowâyou knowâheâs thinking about you too. But neither of you moves. Not yet.
Your heart wonât settle. It keeps pushing against your ribs like it wants to say something first. And then, before you can stop yourself:
âYou drive me insane.â The words hang there. Blunt. True.
Bucky shifts slightly on his cot, but doesnât speak.
âNot in the way youâre thinking, but okayâin that way too.â You pull the blanket tighter around you, trying to hold your voice steady. âYouâre cold. Condescending. You donât say anything unless itâs to poke a hole in something Iâve spent months building.â
His mouth twitches. âYouâre a scientist whoâs not used to people poking holes?â
âIâm not used to people doing it like you.â You glare at the ceiling. âYou justâshow up. And stare. And judge. And then disappear before I can even argue back.â
He exhales through his nose. âAnd you like arguing.â
âThatâs not the point.â
âIt feels like the point.â
You turn your head and look at him. âYou didnât even stay for the full hearing. Just blew it up and walked out.â
He meets your eyes. âDidnât need to.â
Your chest tightens. âGod. Youâre impossible.â
Thereâs a long pause.
And then he says, quieter: âYou were right, though. About the link. About what it could be.â
You blink.
âI didnât go to that hearing to get in your way,â he says. âI went because what you said scared the hell out of me.â
âRight,â you mutter. âThanks.â
He shakes his head. âNo. I meanâit was good. You were right. You had every angle covered. You didnât flinch. And the more I thought about it afterwardâŠâ
His eyes lift to yours.
âAbout you.â
Your stomach flips.
He leans forward slightly, elbows on his knees. âSo when Val mentioned they needed an internal breach detail at the siteââ
âYou asked for this assignment,â you state, stunned.
He nods once. âYeah.â
Silence stretches againâbut now itâs different. Thereâs heat in it. Yes. But also something else. Something real.
Your head falls to your hands in defeat. âI donât want to like you.â
âYeah. Thatâs not working out too well for me either,â Bucky mutters lowly.
You peek up at him through your fingers. âThis is a disaster.â
His mouth twitches. âA highly classified, emotionally compromising disaster.â
You stare at him. And he stares right back. Something hums between you, low and molten. Not as sharp as beforeâbut deeper now. Grounded in knowing. Seeing. Feeling. Your eyes flick to his mouth. Just for a second. Just long enough to make it dangerous.
He sees it. Of course he does.
âDonât,â he says softly.
âDonât what?â
âThat.â
You blink, innocent. âLook at you?â
âLook at me like that.â
You tilt your head, heart pounding. âLike what?â
âLike you want to see what else Iâm hiding under these very official sweatpants.â
You suck in a sharp breath. A flush climbs up your neck before you can stop it.
âI wasnâtââ
âYou were.â
You narrow your eyes. âYouâre imagining things.â
âYouâre broadcasting things,â he says, voice low and rough around the edges. âLoud.â
You shift on the cot and feel his breath hitch now.
Itâs too much. Too close. And itâs not the bond anymore. Not entirely.
âYou think about it too,â you say quietly.
He nods, once. âAll the time now it seems.â
You donât know if you want to slap him or kiss himâor let him press you back against the wall and do everything youâve already imagined and more.
âSo what the hell are we supposed to do about it?â
He smilesâjust barely. Itâs crooked. Dangerous.
âNothing reckless.â
You lift a brow. âYouâre telling me not to be impulsive?â
âIâm telling you not to do anything youâll regret.â
You lean forward, like youâre settling into something casual. But you know what youâre doing. You canât help yourself. You know he can feel itâyour heat, your hunger, your restraint wrapped in silk.
âThen maybe stop giving me reasons to want to,â you murmur, voice light. Teasing.
His jaw ticks. His eyes darken. The silence that follows is sharp. Not a pause. Not a delay. A held breath.
You smile, small and smug, and stand up slowlyâtoo slowly.
âAnyway,â you say, heading toward the small attached bathroom, âIâm going to take a cold shower and try to remember Iâm a professional with several advanced degrees.â
You stop in the doorway. Look back over your shoulder, just enough to make sure heâs still watching.
He is.
âTry not to think about me while Iâm in there,â you add, voice all fake innocence. And then you shut the door behind you.
â-
The water is cold. Brutally so. You step into the spray like itâs punishmentâhands braced against the tile, jaw locked, breath held.
Because youâre still trying to wrap your head around the words that just tumbled out of your mouth a minute ago and why the fuck you even said them. The heat in your body needs to burn off or be drowned, and freezing water feels like your last rational defense.
It doesnât work.
You gasp as it hits your skinâtight, cutting, and sharp. Your nipples pebble instantly. Your muscles tighten. But the cold doesnât pull you out of it. It sharpenes it.
Every drop feels like a shock, like a wire pulled taut under your skin. Your thighs clench. Your breath trembles. Because Bucky is still out there.
And you can still feel him. Not with your hands. Not with your eyes. But with your mind. Your body. The thread still connects you. Hot under the cold. Deep under the logic. It pulses low in your belly, electric and alive. Dragging your thoughts right back to him.
You try to redirectâtry to count the tiles on the wall, name the amino acids in a protein chain, recite your grant proposal backwards.
But your body betrays you. Your hips rock, searching for friction that doesnât exist. Your hand drags down your chest without permission, sliding over wet skin, slick nipples, the curve of your stomach.
And suddenly heâs there. Not really. Not consciously. But you feel him. Watching. Wanting.
And worseâyou want him to.
You bite your lip, hard. Try to shut it down. But your hand keeps moving. Between your thighs now. Water trailing down your skin like a thousand fingertips. The ache blooming sharp and impossible. You press your palm to yourself, just for a moment. Just to quiet it.
But something flares like itâs hungry too.
Your legs almost buckle. Shit. Shit. He felt that. You pant against the tile, eyes squeezed shut.
You can feel his attention spike like a spotlight behind your eyesâhis breath, his pulse, the jagged edge of his restraint grinding against yours. You try to pull back. You try. But now youâre imagining it.
The wall behind you pressing into your shoulder blades. His mouth dragging heat up your neck. One hand on your hipâno, both hands. One flesh, one metal, holding you still while he whispers how much heâs been thinking about this.
How he knew you were going to touch yourself in the shower. How he wanted to be the reason you couldnât help it.
Your breath hitches. A whimper escapes you. Just a sound, high and desperate and real. A surge.
The sensation that hits you is dizzyingâlike your nerves are suddenly on fire, like your own want is being echoed back tenfold.
You slap the water off fast, heart hammering. Your skin prickles as the cold air licks over it. You lean your forehead against the tile, panting. Youâre shaking. Not from the cold. Not from fear. From restraint. From everything you didnât let yourself do. And everything you know he felt anyway.
You press your hands over your face.
âFuck.â
You stay like that for a long moment. Trying to breathe. Trying to pull yourself back into your body. Into the present. But even now, with the water off and your hands gripping the edge of the sink, you can feel the bond pulsing low behind your navel like itâs waiting. Like heâs waiting. And worst of allâ Youâre thinking about opening the door.
You want to know if heâs sitting there as wrecked as you are.
But you donât yet. You reach for the towel. Wipe your face. Pull it tight around your body like it might hold you together. And you promise yourself youâll be calm when you step back out there.
You wait a full minute before stepping out of the bathroom. You make sure your skin is mostly dry, your breathing sort of steady, and your towel tightly secured like a barrier that might still mean something. You open the door like youâre composed. Youâre not. But it doesnât matter.
Because the second you step into the room, you know. Buckyâs posture is wrecked. No more monk-like stillness. No more composed soldier routine. Heâs pacing. Shoulders tense. Shirt clinging to him in places like heâs been sweating. His jaw is tight. His handsâboth of themâare curled into fists like heâs holding back from breaking something. Or doing something.
His head snaps up the second he sees you. And thenâhe stops moving altogether. Freezes.
You feel it before he says a word: the punch of arousal, the crash of restraint, the friction of denial and desire grinding together behind his ribs like a blade.
His eyes sweep over you. Just once. Slowly.
The towel. The water still glistening along your collarbone. The flush on your cheeks that has nothing to do with temperature.
You feel his restraint falterâjust for a breathâand it slams into your chest like a jolt of electricity.
âYouâŠâ he says, then stops. Swallows. His voice is hoarse. âThat wasnât fair.â
You blink, playing innocent. âWhat wasnât?â
He steps forward once. Not touching. Not even close. But the bond pulls at you like gravity.
âSo you felt that,â you say lightly, trying not to lose your footing on the slick edge of this moment.
He lets out a sharp breath. âYou think I somehow didnât feel that?â
The tension crackles between youâraw and thick and already past the point of pretending.
âI tried to shut it down,â you murmur.
He laughs. Just once. Bitter and breathless. âYeah, I could tell ya tried really hard, sweetheart.â
You grip the edge of the towel a little tighter. âSo what, you just sat there andâŠ?â
His gaze drops to your mouth. And stays there.
You feel the burn of it behind your knees, in the pit of your stomach, deep between your thighs where the ache hasnât fully gone away.
Your voice comes out smaller than you mean for it to. âAnd?â
His jaw clenches. His nostrils flare. You feel him fighting it againâfighting you. But he doesnât lie.
âI wanted to come in there.â
The breath leaves your lungs in a shudder.
âI wanted to touch you,â he says, stepping closer. His voice drops lower. âEverywhere you were touching yourself.â
You swallow hard.
âBut I didnât,â he adds roughly.
You look up at him. âWhy?â
His eyes search yours. Not angry. Not even pleading. Justâholding back.
âBecause if I hadâŠâ He exhales, jaw tight. âI wouldnât have stopped.â
The silence that follows isnât empty. Your body hums. Your fingers dig into the towel like itâs the last shield between you and a decision you might not be ready to unmake. And all you can do is whisper:
ââŠOkay.â
He doesnât move. Doesnât touch you. But something shifts in his postureâlike heâs caught between instinct and decision, body wired forward even as his mind throws up a stop sign.
You see it all happen. The way his eyes flick to your mouth. The way his breaths become deeper. The way every muscle in him says yes while the rest of him fights to say no.
And then, finallyâhe steps back. One short, sharp step. Like distance will save either of you.
âShit,â he mutters, dragging a hand through his hair. âWe canât.â
Your heart punches your ribs. âWhy not?â
He doesnât look at you right away. Just shakes his head, pacing once, hands flexing.
âYou just came out of the shower like that, thinking what you were thinking, and Iââ He stops. âI felt everything. You know that, right?â he repeats yet again.
âI didnât ask you to.â
âI know. And thatâs the fucking problem.â
You blink. âSo what, now youâre mad about it?â
âNo,â he snaps. âIâm not mad. Iâm trying not to lose my goddamn mind.â
You fold your arms over the towel. âYou think this is easy for me?â
âI think our minds are so fried that we canât tell whatâs ours and whatâs this,â he bites, gesturing between you two. âAnd if I touch you right now, I donât know whose choice Iâm making. Yours, mine, or the damn compoundâs.â
That stops you. Because heâs right. Because you donât even know anymore.
His voice drops. Still rough. Still wrecked.
âIâm not gonna take advantage of something thatâs most likely not real. Not with you.â
You shift your weight, heartbeat hammering. You want to argue. You want to push. But part of you respects the hell out of it. So you just nod once. Clipped.
âFine.â
His mouth twitches. Not quite a smile. More like restraint in physical form.
âFine.â
And thatâs it. You donât close the distance. You donât say anything else. You just turn away, heart still racing, skin still hot, towel still clutched like armor, and try like hell to pretend your body isnât already halfway to betraying you again.
â-
Just perfect. Now thereâs only a few more hours of pretending youâre not fully horny for the government-assigned menace in the corner.
Youâre sitting cross-legged on the cot, earbuds in, blasting white noise loud enough to drown out your own thoughtsâand hopefully his. It doesnât work.
You can still feel him pacing. The slow, deliberate kind, like heâs working something out of his system. Like heâs hunting a problem he canât solve. You can feel the heat of his attention every time your shirt rides up when you stretch. Every time you shift just a little too far sideways and your thigh brushes bare against cool air.
Every time your breath catches and his does, too. You know what heâs thinking. Or trying not to think.
So you decide to mess with him.
You think louderâsweet and smug, like youâre painting it across the bond on purpose: That shirt looks really good on you, soldier.
He flinches. Physically. And then stops pacing.
You smirk, tug the hem of your shirt down with exaggerated innocence. Small victories.
But then he drops to the floor and starts doing pushups. Which is so not fair.
You glance over and immediately regret it. His shirt stretches across his back like itâs apologizing to no one. Sweat clings at the collar. His arms flex, contract, flex againâslow and steady. Every controlled breath pushes heat through the bond.
You are trying to read a report. You are actively attempting productivity. But itâs hard when every line blurs around the mental image of his hands braced on either side of your head. You close the file. Try again.
He switches to pull-ups on an overhead bar. You throw your tablet at the wall.
âYouâre doing that on purpose.â
He doesnât stop. âDoing what?â
âWeaponizing your arms.â
His mouth twitches. âMaybe Iâm just trying to stay in shape.â
You scowl. âThis is psychological warfare.â
âYou started it.â
You grab a pillow and launch it at his head. He dodges without breaking rhythm.
âUnbelievable.â
Later, you fall asleep. Not on purpose. Just long enough for your body to betray you. The dream is hot. Too hot. Lips at your throat, a mouth on your hipbone, hands everywhere you shouldnât want them. You wake up gasping, sweat pooling at the base of your spine.
And heâs watching you. Sitting in the corner, arms folded, expression like stone. Except for his eyes. His eyes are a slow burn. He doesnât say anything. But you feel it. The echo of your dream still pinging between you. Not graphicâjust emotional residue. A leftover ache.
And maybe the worst part is: you feel his too.
The loneliness under it. The way he felt it right along with you. The part of him that wanted it to be real. To be his hands. His mouth. His weight on top of you instead of the memory of a shared hallucination. You shift on the cot, heart still pounding.
âDid youâŠ?â you ask.
He doesnât move. Just nods once. âYeah.â
You pull your knees to your chest and try not to shake.
Five hours in, you almost lose it.
Youâre pretending to read again. Youâre biting the inside of your cheek to keep your breathing steady. Heâs sitting on the other cot now, towel around his neck, shirt wrung out and tossed somewhere in the corner like it wronged him personally. His skin is flushed. His forearms are braced on his knees. His head is tipped back slightly.
You can feel it through the bondâheâs trying not to think about how your skin looked glistening after the shower. Trying not to remember the sound you made. You try to be good. You really do. But then you snap.
âYou have to stop thinking about my mouth.â
You donât even look up. You donât have to. Thereâs a long pause.
âIâm not,â he says.
You glance over. Heâs biting his lip. You both groan.
He covers his face with one hand. âOkay, you have to stop doing the thing with your tongue.â
âWhat thing?â
He waves a hand vaguely. âThat thing you do when youâre concentrating. You lick your bottom lip slowly like youâre trying to kill me.â
You throw a blanket at him. He catches it with a smug little grin, but you feel the way his chest tightens under it. The way heâs fighting not to lean into the tetherâinto the pull of you.
You flop onto your cot face-first. âThis is the worst horny hostage situation Iâve ever been in.â
âBeen in many?â
You scream a muffled âFUCKâ into the mattress.
His chuckle is low. Rough. Warm.
It rolls down your spine like a confession you werenât ready to hear. And when your hand slips between your thighs a minute later, just to relieve the pressure, just to breathe, you feel his breath hitch in your mind.
âStop.â His voice cuts through the air, hoarse. Strained. Not angryâpleading.
You freeze. But donât pull away.
âI canât,â you whisper.
A pause. Heavy. Loaded.
âYou can.â
You roll your head toward him, half-lidded, flushed, and exhale: âThen say it.â
He doesnât answer.
âTell me not to touch myself,â you say. âBut say it like you mean it.â
You feel his restraint buckle. The desire choking the back of his throat. You move your hand again, slow, under the blanket. The wet slide of your fingers deliberate.
âYou already know what Iâm thinking,â he grits out.
âSay it anyway.â
Heâs still across the room, sitting rigid on the cot, fists clenched on his knees like itâs the only way to stop himself from moving.
You close your eyes and moanâquiet, bitten-off. You canât help it.Â
And thatâs when it breaks him.
âGod,â he growls. âYou donât know what youâre doing to me.â
âI have some idea,â you tease back and squeeze your eyes shut.
And in your mind, you can feel a switch flip in his.
Thereâs a sudden metallic crackâa sharp, violent sound that echoes off the walls. Your eyes fly open. The security camera in the corner is shatteredâglass fractured, wires exposed, the red recording light extinguished. His chest is heaving, fists clenched like he didnât even think before moving.
âI want to be over there,â he rushes out hoarsely. âI want to rip that sheet off and watch you fall apart for me.â
Your breath stops but he keeps going, like his tongue is unable to stop.
âI want your legs open. Want your fingers soaked because you were thinking about my mouth.â
He rises, takes one step forward, then stops himselfâgrabbing the edge of the table like it might anchor him. You whimper.
âIâd put my hand between your thighs,â he says, lower now. Rougher. âPress my fingers into you until you begged me to fuck you.â
Your mind hums, white hot. You feel it in your ribs, your spine, your throat.
âYouâd take it, wouldnât you?â he murmurs. âAll of it. My fingers, my cockââ
You cry out softly, thighs twitching, chasing friction.
âIâd have your back arched and your hands in my hair and you wouldnât even be able to say my name without sobbing.â
You grind down harder now, pulse pounding in your ears. You feel him feeling youâhis hips twitching, cock hard and aching, brain flooded with everything youâre giving him.
âTouch your clit,â he commands.
You do. Gasping. The pleasure punches through your body like a current.
âJust like that,â he says, voice shaking. âRub slow. You donât need to come yet. I want to hear you say what you want.â
âYou already know,â you choke out.
âTell me, doll,â he says again, dark, wanting. âTell me how wet you are.â
You almost sob. âSo wetâJesusâBuckyââ
âThatâs it,â he says. âLet me hear it. I want every filthy sound youâve got.â
You move faster, breath catching, the heat coiling tight and hard and close.
âIâd eat you out so slowly youâd scream. Then fuck you with my fingers until you begged for more. You want that?â
âYes.â
âYou want my cock?â
âYes.â
âYou want me to come in you, fill you, make you feel it for hours?â
Your whole body locksâback arching, legs tighteningâ
And you shatter.
White-hot pleasure rips through you, shattering like glass behind your ribsâlouder and deeper than anything youâve ever felt. Itâs not just the orgasm. Itâs also his body responding to yours, his want echoing through every nerve ending like a second heartbeat.
You can feel what youâre doing to him. The hunger. The ache. The way his restraint unravels with every sound you make, every twitch of your fingers.
The bond lights up like an explosionâflooding both of you. Thereâs no separation. No inside or outside. Just youandhimyouandhimyouandhim in one long, gasping pulse of release.
His groan is feral. Raw. Wrecked. Youâre still trembling when you open your eyes. And heâs right there.
Closer than he was. Right in front of you. Breathing hard, eyes dark, hands clenched like it took everything in him not to touch you. Not to throw himself into the wreckage and keep going.
Heâs about to move. About to drop to his knees. About to make good on every filthy promise he just breathed into your bonesâ
Then a chime sounds at the door.
You both freeze. A beat. Then Dr. Yenâs voice comes crisply over the intercom.
âJust a heads upâIâll be entering the room in ten seconds for dampener prep. Try to look less⊠elevated.â
You let out a strangled noise and yank the blanket over your face, legs still shaking.
The door hisses open. Light spills in. Footsteps. Dr. Yen walks in like she didnât just catch you mid-meltdown.
âGood evening,â she says, clipboard in hand, eyes respectfully trained downward. âTime for neural dampener administration.â
Bucky turns away like heâs been gut-punched. You lie there in silence, half-covered, half-exposed, pulse still thundering.
Dr. Yen pauses. Looks up.
âIâm going to pretend I didnât just watch both your biometric readings spike like you ran a marathon while getting tased.â
You groan louder.
She sighs. âIâll return in ten minutes with the equipment. Maybe try some breathing exercises.â
She turns and walks out, boots clicking.
The door shuts, and the silence she leaves behind could crush a mountain. Youâre both wrecked. Glowing. Silent. Not comfortable. Not even heavy. But pressurized. You shift on the cot. Pick at the edge of the blanket, like youâre unthreading a thought. You cough once. Clear your throat.
âSoâŠâ you say. Then instantly regret it.
Bucky doesnât look up from where heâs now sitting, arms braced, jaw tight. His eyes are fixed on some invisible point across the room.
You try again, softer this time. âThat was⊠intense.â Still nothing.
You roll your eyes at yourself. âGod, sorry. That sounded like the end of a bad first date.â
Finally, his voice cuts through the silence. Low. Flat.
âI shouldnât have said what I said.â
You blink. âWhat, the part where you told me everything you wanted to do to me while I wasâ?â
He exhales sharply. âDonât.â
You pause. Watch him. âWhy?â
âBecause it wasnât fair,â he mutters. âI didnât have to make it worse.â
âYou didnât make it worse.â
He glances at you. Briefly.
And you feel itâwhat he wonât say. The guilt. The self-loathing. The fear that he wanted it more than he shouldâve, and the shame that he let himself say so.
You try to keep your voice light. âIt hasnât been all bad, you know. Feeling like this.â
Something flickers in himâshame, maybe. Sadness. But itâs gone before you can name it.
âItâs not real,â he says. âYou know that.â
You shift again. âYou think I canât tell the difference?â
âI donât know, Doc. But you should. You wrote the fucking book on it!â Heâs not angry. Just tired.Â
âYouâre reacting to a synthetic neurochemical tether.â He says it like heâs quoting a file. âIt wires your empathy straight into mine and floods your body with cross-sensory feedback. Of course it feels like something.â
âYeah,â you say. âIt feels like you. Like⊠warm static. I didnât think Iâd get used to it, but I have.â
His jaw clenches.
Something bracing inside him tickles through your bones. Like heâs locking the door before you even finish knocking.
You hesitate, before adding, carefully, âMaybe thatâs not so terrible.â
He turns toward you now, finally, and thereâs something in his faceâtired, closed off, already half gone.
âLook,â he sighs. âIn a few hours, youâre going to feel normal again. Thisâll wear off, weâll detox. And youâll go back to thinking Iâm a prick.â
You stare at him. âIs that really what you think Iâm going to walk away with?â
âItâs what Iâll walk away with,â he says.
How certain he is bounces back at you. The way heâs already convinced himself this was a mistake. Not just a misstep, but a flaw in his wiring. Something heâs trying to undo before itâs too late and your resolve starts to melt.
His voice softens, but not in a comforting way. In that quiet, beaten-down way that says heâs already written the ending and doesnât want to hear another version.
âI crossed a line,â he says. âAnd youâre going to wake up tomorrow and wish I hadnât.â
You feel it. In your ribs, your throat, your teeth. Not the tension from beforeâbut a dull, hollow echo of finality. He believes this.
You donât answer. Thereâs nothing left to say that wonât bounce off the wall heâs putting back up. You nod once. Slowly. Then lie back on the cot and turn your face to the wall. The link hums faintly behind your ribsâtender, uncertain. But you donât follow it. You just let the silence settle between you again. Thicker than before. Colder. Final.
â
Youâre sitting across from him when the door opens. Same cots. Same sterile walls. Same ten feet of silence between you. You havenât looked at him but you still feel him linked. Quiet, almost gentle now. Like it knows itâs dying. A breath too deep. A flicker of guilt. A spike of regret. It doesnât matter that he wonât meet your eyes.
Dr. Yen steps into the room with her tablet in one hand and a hard-sided case in the other. Sheâs in scrubs this time. Hair tied back. Movements clipped and practiced.
You donât speak. Neither does he.
The case opens with a soft click. Two injectors inside, small and sleek. She pulls one out and checks the dosage.Â
âOnce administered, the dampener will suppress all synthetic limbic resonance. Youâll feel a shift within thirty seconds. Disassociation. Numbness. Maybe a little nausea.â
You exhale through your nose.
âAnd then?â
She meets your eyes. âThen the link breaks.â
You nod. She walks to you first.
âRoll up your sleeve,â she says gently.
You do. The motion feels surrealâlike youâre watching yourself from somewhere outside your body. She presses the injector to the soft skin inside your elbow.
You take a breath, hold it. Click. A whisper of compressed air. Cold floods your arm instantlyâicy, clinical, creeping up your bicep like frostbite. It spreads into your shoulder, your neck, your spine.
And thenâ
Something inside you flickers. The hum. The warmth. Him. It begins to fade. Not all at once. It drains. Like light slipping out of a room. Like someone slowly turning the volume knob on a song you didnât know youâd memorized. You feel the difference before you can process it. Your thoughts stop echoing. Your heartbeat feels⊠alone.
Bucky says nothing when itâs his turn. He doesnât ask what itâll feel like. He doesnât hesitate. Just rolls up his sleeve, still pitched forward. Dr. Yen administers his dose with quiet efficiency. Click. Hiss. And then itâs quiet again. Except itâs not the same.
Because now, the silence is dead. No hum. No pulse. No emotional feedback or flicker of awareness. No him. Heâs still there, physically. Still sitting across from you. Still wearing the same black T-shirt, the same unreadable expression. But you canât feel him anymore. And the absence hits harder than you expect.
Dr. Yen checks the readings on her tablet. Taps a few buttons. Then nods.
âThatâs it,â she says. âConnection is terminated.â
You nod, slowly. Thereâs a ringing in your ears that wasnât there before.
Yen doesnât linger. She packs up and walks out without another word. The door hisses shut behind her. And thatâs it. Itâs over.
You look at him. Heâs not looking at you. Thereâs no warmth where your chest used to light up every time he almost met your gaze. Now itâs just empty space. You wait. A beat. Two.
He finally stands. Moves like heâs stiff. Or maybe heâs just trying to control the way his body reacts now that you canât feel it.
His eyes flick toward you, just once. And then away.
At the door, hand hovering near the panel, he pauses. Just long enough to let hope get in one last swing.
âYouâll feel like yourself again soon.â
You blink. Straighten slightly. But before you can respond, heâs already gone. The door shuts behind him. And this time, you feel nothing at all.
â
Two weeks later and you definitely donât feel like yourself again. Everyone said you would. That the dampener would work, that your neural pathways would recalibrate, that within a few days youâd forget what it felt like to share your mind with someone else.
They were wrong. The silence is worse than the bond ever was.
It isnât just quietâitâs hollow. There are no phantom thoughts, no flickers of static behind your ribs. No heat curling in your stomach when someone else walks in the room. Youâre not buzzing anymore. Youâre just⊠still.
Youâve tried to distract yourself. Buried yourself in lab reports. Filed updates. Pretended the whole thing was a chemical anomaly that didnât matter.
You havenât heard from him. You havenât reached out, either.
Mostly because youâre not sure what youâd sayâand partly because the last time you saw him, he all but told you that everything you felt was fake. You were still deciding whether to be mad or hurt when Valentina Allegra de Fontaineâs name lit up your encrypted line.
And now here you are. Walking into the new Avengers Tower for a mandatory debriefing.
You strut through the sleek white corridor with polished concrete floors, reinforced glass walls, surveillance cameras tucked into every corner. A place designed to look like freedom and security, while quietly reminding everyone whoâs in charge. And Valâs definitely in charge.
You press your thumb to the biometric reader. The door clicks open. And then youâre in the room.
Seven chairs. One long table. Your teamâs already thereâDr. Yen, Dr. Deenan, and Dr. Morales, seated stiffly with laptops open and half-expressed concern on their faces. You nod to them, then catch sight of the others.
The New Avengers. Avaâs leaning back with her boots up on the chair next to her, scanning her phone like sheâd rather be anywhere else. Yelena twirls a pen in her fingers while whispering something to Bob, who stifles a laugh. Alexei ie eating something from a foil pouch. John Walkerâs in full uniform, arms crossed, eyes narrowed like heâs waiting to be pissed off.
And at the head of the tableâValentina Allegra de Fontaine. She smiles when she sees you. It doesnât reach her eyes.
âDoctor,â she purrs. âRight on time. We were just getting to the fun part.â
You arch an eyebrow. âI didnât realize this was a party.â
Val gestures to the empty seat across from her. âTake a load off.â
You sit. The chairâs cold. So is the room.
She taps her tablet, and the wall monitor comes to lifeâschematics, biofeedback logs, simulated overlays of two bodies in sync.
Yours. And his. Your heart gives a tiny, involuntary jolt.
âWeâve reviewed your data,â Val says. âThe bonding agent was more successful than projected. Real-time empathic mirroring. Linked adrenaline response. Even synchronized aggression modulation. Fascinating.â
You glance at your team. No one meets your eye.
âFascinating doesnât mean safe,â you say.
âNo,â Val agrees, tapping to the next slide, âbut it does mean viable.â
Your stomach drops.
She keeps going. âWeâve had early conversations with R&D. We think we can refine it. Pull the limbic entanglement into tighter constraints. Give our agents an edge in the field. Total tactical unity. Real-time mental synchronicity in squads of two to five. Imagine it.â
âIâd rather not,â you say flatly.
Val tilts her head. âThatâs surprising. You invented it.â
You cross your arms. âI invented a theory. Not a weapon. That compound was never designed for field ops. It was meant to test artificial empathy synthesis in high-stress environments. I never signed off on deployment.â
âYou didnât have to,â she replies, sweet as poison. âYou tested it. Thatâs what matters.â
Your jaw tightens. âWhat do you want from me?â
Val smiles.
âI want you to stabilize it.â
The room goes quiet.
You donât answer.
Because your fingers have curled into fists under the table, and the muscle in your jaw is working too hard.
Valâs smile sharpens. âDonât make that face. Youâre not the first brilliant mind to regret what theyâve built. Thatâs why weâve brought in oversight.â
You glance around the table, pulse ticking higher. âThis is oversight?â
Val gestures lazily toward the door. âSpeak of the devil.â
It opens. He walks in. Bucky.
Same stride. Same black tactical pants. Same expression that says heâd rather be anywhere else. But not quite the same. Tighter. Like something inside him is coiled and hasnât uncoiled since the dampener. You sit straighter without meaning to. He doesnât look at you. Just nods to the room like itâs a formality. Takes the seat across the table from you, beside Ava, who gives him a quick look. You can feel the space between you stretch like a fault line.
Val keeps going, too casual.
âAs most of you know, Sergeant Barnes was one of the two bonded during the prototype incident.â
No one speaks. Ava tilts her head, intrigued. Alexei is still chewing. John looks like heâs waiting to laugh. Bobâs the only one scribbling anything down.
Val turns toward Bucky, her voice silk-wrapped steel. âYou submitted a full statement. Care to summarize for the room?â
He doesnât move. Doesnât blink.
âItâs not stable.â
âDefine ânot stable.ââ
He looks directly at her now. âThereâs no shut-off switch.â
Val smiles like sheâs waiting for that. âThe dampener worked.â
âEventually.â
You feel a tug in your chestâbut not from the bond. Just memory. Just him.
Val leans back. âLetâs talk about the psychological aftermath.â
You freeze. So does he.
âI read your report,â Val continues. âThere were some⊠interesting observations. About your partner.â
You glance at him, breath catching. He doesnât speak. Val does.
ââResponsive. Precise. Too quick to hide discomfort behind sarcasm. Wants to be in control but softens under pressure. Harder to ignore than expected.ââ
You stare at her. Then at him. Heâs not meeting your eyes. His jaw is tight.
Val keeps reading, but her eyes are on you. ââI think she felt it too. I think we both wanted it to stop, and neither of us wanted it to stop.ââ
The room is silent. No one breathes.
She closes the file with a tap and smiles. âRomantic. Almost poetic.â
Bucky shifts in his chair. âThat wasnât meant for discussion.â
Val keeps going, tapping her tablet again. âOf course, Sergeant Barnes wasnât the only one who filed a report.â
Your eyes narrow. She scrolls casually. âLetâs see hereâŠâ
Your team shifts awkwardly. Ava raises an brow. Walker leans back, already skeptical.
âAhâfound it,â Val says, lips twitching. ââPost-dampener vitals returned to pre-bond baseline within 48 hours. No lingering physical effects. Subject reports successful cognitive decoupling.ââ She glances at you. âVery clinical so far.â
You say nothing. Your throat is tight.
Val continues reading, voice just loud enough to carry. ââSubject notes difficulty adjusting to emotional silence. Persistent phantom resonance. Reports occasional insomnia, sensory misfires, andâŠââ She slows. âââŠa recurring sense of loss with no identifiable origin.ââ
You feel the breath leave your lungs.
Val looks up, smile gone. Her tone shiftsâmocking, just slightly. ââItâs strange. I should be relieved to have myself back. But some part of me feels like itâs still looking for him.ââ
The silence in the room shifts. Heavy. Sharp. Bucky turns to look at you. Not subtly. Not just a glance. He looks at you like youâve just said something dangerous. Like youâve handed him a key he didnât know he was allowed to touch.
You look back. And for the first time since the bond brokeâyou really see him seeing you.
But then his expression shutters. Clean. Cold. Gone. Like heâs pulled the wall back up in one brutal breath.
Val closes the file with a flick of her fingers.Â
âWell. This answers my question. If it worked that fast on two unsuspecting individualsâone emotionally distant, the other the one who wrote the damn rules about boundariesâwhat do we think itâll do to a trained field team under fire?â
You exhale through your nose. âYouâre not trying to refine it. Youâre trying to weaponize it.â
Val shrugs. âTomato, tomahto.â
Your pulse spikes. âYou want to use forced bonding as a tactical tool. You want soldiers to feel each other die in real time, feel pain that isnât theirs, emotions that arenât theirsââ
âTheyâll be trained.â
âTheyâll be broken.â
Now the room shifts. Ava sits forward. Yelenaâs brow lifts. Even Walker glances sideways at Val.
Val only smiles. âEveryone breaks differently, doctor. Thatâs the point.â
You canât help it. You turn to Bucky. Heâs looking down. Still silent. Still locked. But you know that posture. Youâve felt it. The way he retreats. The way he steels himself before walking away.
Valâs voice cuts back in. âFinal reports are due in forty-eight hours. Including yours, Doctor. Whether you cooperate or not, this is moving forward.â
You donât answer. She rises. The others begin to move.
But Bucky doesnât. Not until the last chair scrapes back. Then he stands. And walks out without looking back. This time, you donât hesitate.
You catch him in the hallway just outside the briefing room.
âBarnes.â
He keeps walking, boots steady on the polished floor like youâre not behind him, like he didnât just bolt from a public dissection of your most private thoughts. You pick up the pace.
âI saidââ
âDonât,â he mutters without turning. âNot here.â
You follow anyway. Right past the security checkpoint. Into the common area of the residential wing.
Then you hear them. Voices behind youâlow, not subtle. Bob. Alexei. Youâd bet money Walkerâs loitering just out of view, arms crossed and dying for gossip.
âWow,â Yelena says from behind the coffee bar. âVery dramatic storm-off. Ten out of ten.â
Bucky still doesnât stop. You catch up beside him, matching his pace. âYouâre seriously going to act like none of that meant anything?â
âIâm not doing this in front of an audience,â he snaps, still not looking at you.
You ignore it. âWhat did you think was going to happen? You walk away and I just go back to being a line item in your report?â
He reaches the end of the hallway. Stops. Jaw locked. Hands at his sides.
âIâm not doing this,â he says again, quieter now. Less sharp. More tired.
You hesitate. And then you say itâjust low enough for him to really hear it.
âBucky, please.â
His head turns. Slow. Measured. Like he didnât expect you to use his name. Like it broke through something.
You stare up at him. One beat. Two. And then he grabs your wristânot rough, not rushedâand pulls you with him through the nearest door.
His quarters. The lock clicks behind you. He doesnât let go. Youâre both breathing too hard for how little either of you has moved. His fingers tighten around your wrist.
âI donât need a debrief,â he says flatly. âWhatever Valâs hoping youâll get out of thisââ
âDonât do that,â you say.
His shoulders go rigid. âDo what.â
âShut me out.â
He finally turns. And the look on his face makes your heart falter.
Heâs not angry. Heâs gutted.
âI told you, once this wore offââ
âI didnât say it because of the link,â you snap. âI said it because itâs true.â
He shakes his head. âYou think itâs true. Because itâs recent. Because youâre still sorting it out.â
âNo,â you say. âI said it because I miss you. Because I canât sleep. Because the silence feels worse than the noise ever did.â
He goes quiet. You take a step closer.
âAnd donât tell me itâs not real. Donât tell me itâs just feedback. Iâve been through every model of post-synthetic resonance in the literature. This isnât detox.â
Bucky stares at you like he wants to believe you. Like heâs aching to. But the wall is still up. Tighter than ever.
âIt doesnât matter,â he says. âYouâre going to walk out of here and get over it. And Iâm going to remember everything I said. Everything I wanted. And wish I hadnât said a goddamn word.â
That knocks the air out of you. You feel the urge to step backâbut you donât. You root yourself there.
âIâm not over it,â you say, quietly. âAnd I donât want to be.â
He looks at you. Really looks. And something shifts in him. But he still doesnât move. So you step closer. Not too close. Just enough to make it clear youâre not afraid of the space between you. Not anymore. You donât touch him. Not yet.
âIâve spent two weeks trying to shut you out of my head,â you murmur. âPretending I didnât miss you. That I wasnât checking every hallway and every email, wondering if youâd say something.â
He exhales sharply through his nose and looks down.
âAnd when you didnât,â you add, voice tighter now, âI told myself you were just being careful. That you were trying to do the right thing.â
A pause. Then, lower.
âBut maybe it was just easier for you.â
That hits. You see itâright in his eyes. Still, he doesnât speak. So you finish it.
âEither you felt what I felt or you didnât,â you say, chin lifting. âBut donât stand there and act like it was just some side effect. Like all of itâeverything between usâwas just my body misfiring.â
You take a final step closer to him.
âI know who you are nowânot just the version you show, not the file, not the soldier. You. I felt every part you tried to hide. And it only made me want you more. And if that was all fake, I donât know what the hell is real anymore.â
Thatâs when he moves.
Itâs not gentle. Itâs not rehearsed. Itâs like something inside him snaps, and before you can take another breath, his hands are in your hair, his mouth crashing against yours like heâs been holding back for yearsânot weeks.
You stumble into him with a gasp, grabbing the front of his shirt like you need it to stay standing. His kiss is rough, hungry, almost franticâlike heâs trying to erase the silence with his teeth.
He spins you, walks you backwards until your shoulders hit the door, and then heâs bracing one arm beside your head, the other sliding down to your hip like he needs to feel you, all of you, right now.
You kiss him back with everything youâve been holding in. Anger. Frustration. Hunger. Something dangerously close to relief. He pulls back just long enough to look at you, lips swollen, breathing hard.
âYou donât know what youâre asking for,â he says, hoarse.
âYes,â you whisper, dragging your fingers down the line of his stomach. âI do.â
His mouth reclaims yours. This time, the kiss is slower. Hungrier. Less desperation, more purpose. His tongue traces the shape of your lips, parting them before diving in. His hands move, rough and reverent. Skimming your jaw, down your neck, across your chest. They slide beneath your shirt, palms splayed wide like heâs trying to cover all of you at once, like he canât decide what to touch first. You feel the heat of him through every inch of fabric, and it lights you up from the inside.
He hesitates Just a little. Like it costs him something to stop. A breath caught in his throat. Fingers curling into fists where theyâd just been on your ribs. Everything is vibrating with want. No bond. No compound tether. Just this. Just him. And heâs shaking. Not visibly. But you feel it in his breath. In the way his hands flex when they grip your hips. Like heâs holding back with every ounce of control he has left.
âYou sure?â he rasps, low and wrecked.
You nod. He doesnât move. So you press your mouth to his ear.Â
âBucky,â you whisper. âIâve been sure since I looked you in the eye and told you not to think about sex.â
He exhales, a bit shaky, but lifts you, guiding you backward toward the bed. Walking you slow and blind, like heâs memorized every inch of you and heâs finally getting to touch what he learned.
You hit the mattress. Heâs on you a second later, crowding you down with the weight of his body, the strength of his stare.
âDonât move,â he murmurs, mouth brushing your cheek. âI want to see you.â
Your heart stutters as he starts to undress you. Slow at first, like heâs unwrapping something fragile. Fingers dragging over skin with intention. Mouth kissing every new inch he uncovers.
âYouâre fuckinâ beautiful, sweetheart,â he murmurs. âYou donât even know what you do to me.â
You whimper, hands reaching, but he pins your wrists lightly to the bed.
âLet me,â he says. âYouâve had your hands on yourself enough, havenât you?â
Your face burns but your thighs twitch. He clocks it.
âOh, you liked that,â he murmurs, voice like velvet. âLiked making me feel it. Every fuckinâ second.â
âBuckyââ
âYou wanna know what it did to me?â he asks, trailing his fingers down your stomach, your hip, your thigh. âThe way you touched yourself? Knowing I couldnât stop you. Couldnât help you. Couldnât taste you.â
Your breath hitches as his lips graze your inner thigh.
âI almost lost it, doll.â
He groans as he spreads you open, thumb teasing, mouth following. Heâs slow at first. Too slow. Licking soft circles like heâs memorizing the shape of your pleasure.
And then he dives in.
Moans into you like itâs the best thing heâs ever tasted. Holds your thighs apart, firm and unrelenting, while his tongue works in perfect rhythm. Watching you. Murmuring praise between licks and gasps. Your hips twitch, a whimper slipping through your clenched teeth.
âAlready?â he murmurs, breath hot against you. âYou that close, sweetheart?â
You try to answer, but itâs useless.
âGod, look at you,â he groans. âSo fucking wet.â
You arch up in response, gasping.
âNeedy little thing,â he laughs, brushing his fingers through your folds. âBet this is all youâve been thinking about the past two weeks, huh?â
He plunges a finger inside of you and curls, as do your toes while you rasp out.
âBucky, please!â
âYou gonna fall apart for me, doll?â he murmurs against you, the words so filthy and tender they almost make you cry. âI want it. Want to feel you shake. Want to taste every bit of it.â
He flicks his tongue in tight circles, then flattens it low and slow. Adding another finger to your weeping core. Your hips start to shake, lifting off the bed. He feels it and grips you tighter.
âDonât fight it,â he gasps into you. âDonât you fucking dare. Thatâs mine.â
He sucks hardâjust onceâand your vision whites out. You try to warn him. A gasp, a stuttered breath, a twist of your hips. But itâs already too late. You come with a cry, fists clutching the sheets, legs locked around his shoulders, everything inside you unraveling at once.
Itâs too much. Too sharp. Too good. And he groans into you like heâs the one coming. Youâre limp, gasping, still shakingâand heâs still there, mouth wet, fingers brushing your hip.
âShit,â you breathe. âThat wasâŠâ
He kisses the inside of your thigh. Then again, a little higher.
âYouâre not done yet,â he says, voice thick with hunger. âNot even close.â
He keeps going, softer nowâjust enough to draw the aftershocks out of you, murmuring things you can barely hear over your own heartbeat.
âSo perfect. So fuckinâ sweetâ
You blink through the stars behind your eyes, chest rising in fast, uneven bursts.
âBuckyââ
He finally comes up for air, his eyes are darker with something deeper than just heat as his gaze locks on yours. And for a second, neither of you moves.
Youâre still panting, still wrecked from his mouth and fingers, but thereâs something in the way he looks at you now. Like heâs trying to memorize you, even as his restraint starts to crack again.
âStill with me, sweetheart?â he murmurs, voice hoarse.
You nod, breath caught in your throat.
âGood,â he says, fingers sliding up your sides. âBecause Iâm not done learning how you fall apart.â
You whine when he pulls away. But when his own shirt comes off, followed by the rest, your breath stuttersâbecause even now, with the link broken, youâre still wrecked by your need for him.
Not like before. Not a shared mind or emotion. But like muscle memory. Like your skin knows him now. His mouth tilts upâbarely a smile, more like relief bleeding through restraint.
Then he climbs your body like he owns it, skin dragging over skin. Not rushing. Savoring. Like heâs been starving for you and doesnât want to miss a single fucking bite. His chest brushes yoursâbare, flushedâand you both exhale hard, the contact so electric it knocks the air from your lungs.
You reach for him, aching, but he catches your wristsânot to stop you. To feel you. To anchor himself. His thumbs press into your palms, grounding hard.
âYou still want this?â he murmurs.
You nod. But thatâs not enough. Not for either of you.
âYes,â you breathe. âI want you.â
He kisses you like he means to brand it into you, deep and claiming. His whole body comes down over yours, pinning you into the mattress with his weight like heâs trying to fuck the memory of him into your bones.
His hand trails down your side, over your hip, gripping your thigh with purpose. Holding you there, keeping you open for him.
âYou feel that?â he whispers against your jaw, slowly dragging his cock against your sensitive heat. âThatâs real. Not chemicals. Not the compound.â
You nod again, blinking up at him.
âI felt you before, doll,â he murmurs, pressing the head against your entrance. âBut now? Now I get to have you.â
Then he pushes in slowly. Inch by inch as it steals the air from your lungs, not realizing how you could ever feel this full. Heâs everywhere. Itâs not artificial. Itâs just him. Just this. And itâs overwhelming in a completely different way.
âGod, you feel so fuckinâ good,â he groans, as his hips finally meet yours. âLike you were made for me.â
He moves slow at first, watching your face, chasing every gasp, every arch of your body. Letting you relax into the stretch as he drags himself in and out of you. Your body answers him before your mouth can. Nails digging into his shoulder. The pressure already building, faster this time, hotter. And he feels it, responding with a low, rough growl in your ear.
âGot used to feeling everything,â he murmurs. âNow Iâve gotta earn it. Every sound. Every twitch of those perfect fuckinâ hips.â
You canât even speak. You moan, hips tilting up, greedy for more.
âThatâs right,â he breathes, rougher now. âShow me.â
He rocks into you again, harder this time. You gasp, cry out softly against his shoulder.Â
âBuckyâpleaseââ
âYou begging already?â he groans, continuing to pound you deeper into the mattress. âThought I was just a side effect.â
âYou werenât.â
He freezes, just for a moment. Kisses you again, softer now, but more desperate.
âSay it again.â His forehead presses to yours.
You touch his face, thumb brushing the hard line of his jaw. âYou werenât.â
He exhales like it hurts.
âYou gonna come for me again, sweetheart?â
You whimper, helpless as your walls begin to flutter around him.
âYeah, you are,â he breathes. âI can feel it. So tight around me already.â
And the way he looks at youâwrecked and reverent and just this side of feralâmakes your whole body stutter. You want it. Want to be ruined by him. Claimed by him.
You tighten around him again, and his hips snap harder. His hand slips between your bodies. Finds your clit. Zeroes in without mercy.
âGive it to me,â he whispers into your throat. âLet me feel you fall apart.â
It hits like a freight trainâloud and messy and devastating. Your back arches, your breath catches, and you cry out his name like itâs the only word youâve got left.
He fucks you through itâlong, dragging thrusts that keep you trembling. Your bodyâs oversensitive now, every nerve frayed, but he doesnât stop. Keeps going, holding you there like heâs afraid youâll vanish.
âBucky,â you moan, hand in his hair, nails dragging over his scalp.
He breaths into your mouthâkissing you like heâs starving.
âYou drive me fuckinâ crazy,â he pants. âYou know that?â
You whimper, thighs shaking.
âI tried to keep it together,â he growls, voice ragged. âI triedââ
Every thrust is brutal now. Precise. Shattering.
âFuck,â he breaths. âWhen you wereââ
âBuckââ
He kisses you again, biting your lip. His hand moves between you again, thumb rubbing fast and perfect.
âGod, babyââ His voice cracks. âYouâre gonna make me fuckinâ lose it.â
âThen lose it,â you whisper. âI want you to.â
He growls your name, broken and wrecked, hips jerking once, twiceâAnd you shatter. It slams through youâraw, loud, everything burning at the edges. Your body seizes, clenching around him, sobbing his name as you fall apart in his arms.
He buries himself inside you. You feel the heat. The flood. The way he tries to hold himself together and canât. Heâs trembling over you, muscles locked tight, jaw clenched as he pulses deep in you, riding it out with a low, wrecked moan.
Youâre both gasping now. Shaking. Tangled up and clinging. And stillâhe doesnât pull away. He stays. Forehead to yours, still buried deep, arms wrapped around you like youâre the only thing keeping him grounded.
âIâve never thoughtââ he starts, voice ragged. âThat wasnât justââ
You touch his face, soft now. âI know.â
Because you do. This wasnât adrenaline. Wasnât science. Wasnât the bond. It was him. It was you. He lifts his head slowly. Looks at you like heâs still afraid to believe it. So you cup his face, kiss his temple, and whisper, âDonât you dare vanish on me now.â
His throat works, jaw clenches. But he doesnât run.
He stays right where he is. Wrapped around you.
â-
The room is warm. Quiet. Youâre lying on your back, one leg tangled with his, the sheets kicked halfway off the bed. Buckyâs fingers skim slow circles over your hip, like he hasnât figured out how to stop touching you yet. Or doesnât want to. You stare at the ceiling.
âTell me again how this wasnât a terrible idea,â you murmur.
He huffs out a laugh. âIt was a terrible idea.â
âOh, good,â you say. âSo weâre on the same page.â
He shifts, rolling just enough to look at you. His hair is a mess, his chest still rising a little fast, like he hasnât fully come down. Thereâs a smudge of dried sweat at his temple and your teeth marks fading on his neck, and you have the completely inappropriate urge to kiss both.
âCanât believe I got to sleep with the woman who called me a glorified blunt object,â he says dryly.
You smirk. âWasnât planning to sleep with the guy who implied my lifeâs work was an emotional leash.â
You sigh. Close your eyes for a second. The weight of it allâwhat came before, what you just crossed intoâsettles somewhere behind your ribs. Heâs still watching you when you open them again.
âIâll deal with Val,â he says suddenly. âIf she tries to pull anything with the compound, Iâll shut it down.â
You blink. âYouâre serious.â
âI usually am.â
You study him for a beat. âYou donât have to fight my battles, Barnes.â
âNo,â he says. âBut I want to.â
Something about the way he says it. Casual and quiet, like it isnât a big deal, makes your stomach tighten. Heâs not pushing. Not performing. He just means it. You shift closer, resting your chin on his chest. âYou know, if youâd told me two weeks ago Iâd end up in your bedââ
âYou wouldâve laughed in my face.â
âI did laugh in your face.â
âYou told me I looked like a government-issued mistake.â
You snort. âWell. You kind of did.â
He smirks, fingers brushing a line along your spine. âStill think Iâm a mistake?â
You glance up at him. Heâs smiling, but itâs tentative. Like heâs not sure if youâll dodge or hit back. So you lean up, kiss himâsoft, but real. Honest.
âMaybe not a mistake,â you whisper against his mouth. âMaybe just⊠statistically improbable.â
He laughs against your lips. You both fall back into the pillows, tangled up and far too warm, but neither of you moves.
Eventually he murmurs, âThis thing between usâwhatever it isâitâs real now, right?â
You stretch a leg over his, sighing. âI mean, if itâs not, then Iâm still having incredibly vivid sex dreams while awake.â
âThatâs flattering.â
âThatâs science.â
He kisses your forehead and mumbles, âThen letâs see what happens without science.â
You let that settle. No neurobond. No link. No forced proximity. Just choice. You curl in closer. And this time, when you breathe him in, you donât feel afraid.
Just steady. Just⊠okay. You smile. And he feels it.
Summary: When Bucky's arm breaks down, his walls go up.
Warnings: during/post-tfatws, established new-ish relationship, insecurities about amputation, a little angsty, pop culture references, mentions of sam and joaquin being chaotic, talkative!gf x grumpy!bf
A/N: hi lovelies! trying to be consistent with writing and posting, especially one shots (i have a tendency to overcommit to writing series). my general tag list is open, and so is my inbox :) feel free to talk to me about anything! also, i know sam doesn't have access to a quinjet in the tfatws era, but he does in this fic x
Playlist: Sweater Weather- The Neighbourhood
Word Count: 2,145
...
The Quinjet hums steadily beneath you, the sound rumbling in your chest in the weirdly comforting way that you've come to associate with long rides back from missions. You'd collapsed into one of the seats opposite Bucky, still catching your breath, boots heavy with dust and grime, hands faintly trembling from the adrenaline refusing get out of your system. He sits across from you, jaw locked, eyes trained on nothing in particular, just that faraway look he sometimes wears when something has gotten under his skin.
At first you thought the faint clicking sound was part of the jet. A loose panel. One of Sam's Starbursts rolling around the cabin again. But then you noticed the sparks, tiny and furious, snapping from the seams of metal plating on Bucky's vibranium arm. It twitches once, vibranium fingers jerking against his thigh. His face barely shifts, just the smallest twitch of his eyebrows.
''Hey,'' you say softly, voice low and careful. ''You okay?''
''I'm fine.'' He flexes his fingers, testing the weight of it, the glow of the Wakandan tech reflecting the low light on the jet. Another stutter, another spark, and the arm slams against the wall beside him with a loud clang. The whole jet seems to echo the sound.
Your eyes widen. ''Buckyâ''
''It's fine.'' The words are clipped, as if the sheer force of his denial could override the reality of malfunctioning circuitry. He holds the limb tightly against himself like he can pin it into submission, like it's just a wild animal that needs restraining.
You raise an eyebrow. ''Uh-huh. Because most people's arms throw tantrums like that.''
The corner of his mouth almost twitches, but then another wave of sparks hisses, scattering in the dark like fireflies, and his whole body stiffens. His fingers uncontrollably curl into a fist, not budging even when he uses his flesh hand to pry it open.
''Okay,'' you say slowly, keeping your voice light. ''Are we going to ignore the fact that your arm's auditioning for The Exorcist?''
He shoots you a look that should've been withering but is softened by the desperation hiding behind it. Bucky Barnes, master of stoicism, sitting there like a man betrayed by the one part of his body he trusted not to betray him. He mutters something under his breath, you catch only fragments, the cadence sharp with frustration.
''Don't think Steve would approve that kind of language, Buck.''
Bucky exhales hard through his nose, dragging a hand down his face. For a moment he just sits there, still and rigid, until the next spasm jerks through the arm. He curses, low and bitter, then finally digs into his pocket for the slim Wakandan communicator he carries like a lifeline he never wants to admit he needs.
He stares at it too long, thumb hovering. You lean forward, elbows on your knees. ''If you don't hurry up, that thing is going to become sentient and kill us all. Like M3GAN. By the way, did you know that Sam almost cried watching that? Joaquin told me.''
His glare flicks up, but there's no real bite in it, just staring at you with a defeated fondness before pressing the button, and the holo-screen blinks to life with the golden image of Ayo's face.
''White Wolf,'' she greets. No wasted words, as usual.
Bucky clears his throat. ''The arm's⊠not working right. Glitching. I think it needs to go back. Is Shuri in?''
Ayo's gaze flicks over him, reading him more than he feels comfortable with. ''She will be shortly. It will have to be brought back to Wakanda for reparations.''
''How long?'' His voice is casual, like asking how long dry cleaning might take.
''Three days.''
He stiffens. Three days. You see it hit him like a punch to the gut. The hesitation, the way his hand curls tighter around the faulty arm like a child might clutch a stuffed animal. Three days without it.
Ayo doesn't wait for his reply. ''We will send someone to collect it. Be ready.'' And then she's gone, the communicator dimming, leaving only the quiet rumbling of the Quinjet again.
For a moment, neither of you say anything. You watch him carefully as he stares at the dark screen, shoulders tense, jaw set so tightly you half-expect to hear his teeth crack.
You try for levity. ''Hey, look on the bright side. That means you get to watch me struggling with every stubborn jar in the house for three whole days. You always say you find that very entertaining.''
It earns you a huff of air that might've been a laugh if it weren't laced with something heavier. He shakes his head, glancing at you, corners of his mouth subtly twitching. ''Not funny.''
''Kinda funny,'' you counter. ''Maybe we can train your left hook while we're at it. Get you ambidextrous. That's a real party trick these days.''
His eyes finally flick to yours, and there it is, that hint of self-consciousness you don't usually get to see, raw and almost boyish. Under the soldier, the retired assassin, the survivor, he's still just a human being terrified of being seen as less than he is.
You want to press. Want to tell him it doesn't matter, that he's not defined by a piece of tech, no matter how sleek and advanced. But instead you sit back, let the hum of the Quinjet fill the silence, let him enjoy the comfort of having his walls up for now.
If there's anything you've learned these past two months of being by his side, both in battle and at home, it's that Bucky always retreats into himself after a mission, a haunted look on his face, like he's struggling to separate the violence he commits for a good cause and his past with ruthless violence for all the wrong reasons.
You cross your arms, let your eyes close against the drone of the engines, and decided to let him have his silence. For now.
...
Bucky doesn't tell you when the Wakandan courier arrives. You only realize because his texts go quiet, and when you call, you can hear the faint static of silence before he mutters that he's busy. You give him a day. Out of respect. Out of love. Then another morning, though it gnaws at you. By the second night, you're pacing your living room like a caged animal, phone heavy in your hand, wondering if he's just sitting alone in the dark pretending the world outside doesn't exist. It wouldn't be the first time you found him in such a state.
Sam's words echo in your head. If he gets stubborn, you've got the spare key. You just hadn't thought you'd ever need it.
The stairwell leading to Bucky's apartment smells faintly of dust and old plaster. His door is closed, the hallway dim except for the sputter of the single overhead bulb.
You knock once, soft. No answer. You knock again, harder. Nothing.
So you fish out the key from your back pocket. The lock clicks too easily, and you realize you could've definitely picked it with a hairpin. Not that it ever had to come to that, of course. You have the key. If Bucky even lets you keep it after barging in like this.
Inside, the air is stale, heavy with stillness. He hasn't turned on the lights, but the faint glow from streetlamps outside spills in from the kitchen window, painting the room in shadows. You spot him on the couch instantly. Back to you. Shoulders hunched. He doesn't startle when you enter, and you know he heard you. He always hears you.
''Breaking and entering,'' he says, attempting humor, his voice rough. ''That's a crime, you know. I'll have to arrest you.''
''Kinky,'' you retort, corners of your mouth tugging upward. You set your bag down by the door, toe off your shoes, trying to sound casual when the atmosphere feels anything but.
His right hand is curled on his knee, his left side angled away from you, the broad curve of his shoulder leading down to the blunt edge of metal where his arm should be attached. The plate gleams a little in the dim light, bare and exposed, and you realize that's why he hasn't texted you back, and why he doesn't look at you now.
You move closer. He shifts slightly, like he's trying to make himself smaller.
''Bucky.'' Your voice is soft, careful.
''Don't.'' It's quick, sharper than he intends, but his body is tight with shame, every muscle wound like a spring. ''Just not right now.''
You crouch beside the couch anyway, grounding yourself on the carpet, so he can't avoid you unless he walks away. ''I was worried about you. You're not answering my texts. You're not answering the door. And now you won't even look at me?''
He still doesn't move. ''It's better this way.''
''Better for who?''
The silence stretches. You study him, the hard line of his jaw, the way his right hand grips his knee like he's holding himself together. And then, gently, you rest your palm against his cheek, coaxing his face toward you. His stormy eyes shift to yours, hesitant.
You let your hand drift lower, thumb grazing along the line of his jaw, tracing the stubble that always grows faster than he bothers to shave. His chest rises and falls unevenly, like the simple act of being seen like this is too much weight to bear.
''Don't look at me like that,'' he mutters, voice breaking at the edges.
''Like what?''
''Like I'mâ'' His throat works. The words snag. ''You don't have to pretend like I'm not missing something.''
Your heart aches. He thinks the absence makes him less, when to you it only makes him more human. ''Bucky,'' you whisper. ''You're not broken because your arm is.''
His jaw clenches, looking away, but you don't let him hide. You keep your hand steady, warm against his skin. ''You're not half a man when it's gone. You're not less. You're still you. All of you.''
The silence that follows is heavy, charged. You can almost hear the thoughts spiraling in his head, the doubts, the insecurities he won't admit, the endless ledger of things he thinks he's lost.
So you lean in closer, pressing your forehead to his, grounding him with the simplest touch. ''I don't care about the arm. I care about the man who holds the door open for me, and teases me relentlessly when I cook another terrible dish, but still eats it because it makes me happy. The man who holds me when I've had a nightmare, and stays up to watch over me until I fall asleep again. If all of that hasn't changed just because you don't have the arm, then you haven't changed either. Then you're still the man Iâ'' You pause, searching his eyes, steady and unflinching. ''The man I love.''
His breath catches like you've yanked it from his lungs. ''I didn't want you to see me like this,'' he says finally, voice raw.
''Too late,'' you murmur, brushing your nose against his.
And then, because the conversation could use some lightheartedness, you let a small smile tug at your lips. ''Besides, I kind of like being the one with all the upper body strength for once, which is, like... as rare as a solar eclipse.''
That earns you a hoarse laugh, his forehead pressing against yours like he's anchoring himself to you, to the sound of your voice.
Your hand drifts lower, across his chest, lingering over the steady thrum of his heart beneath your palm. ''You're still you. All of you. And I wouldn't change a thing.''
He exhales shakily, tugging you a little closer until your knees bump the couch. His lips brush yours, tentative.
You tilt your head, catching his gaze in the low light. ''You don't have to hide from me. I love you like this, too.''
And maybe it's the way you say it, simple and sure, but something eases in him. He leans in, slow and cautious, until his mouth finds yours. The kiss is soft, almost tentative, but it sparks like kindling catching flame, spreading warmth through your chest.
When you pull back, you rest your hand on his shoulder, near the metal plate his vibranium arm would usually be attached. His brows pinch, breath stalling, but he doesn't move away.
''You're still a hundred percent man to me,'' you whisper against his lips, smile curling. ''Maybe even a hundred and ten.''
This time his laugh is real, deep, shaking loose some of the shadows clinging to him. He kisses you again, firmer now, his hand sliding to the small of your back and pulls you onto the couch beside him, holding you closer than he's allowed himself in days.
...
thank you so much for reading! i appreciate any and all support so remember to like, comment and reblog. requests are open! đ
pairing: bucky barnes x fem!reader
word count: 5k
warning: smut | PinV | blue pill | oral sex (both receiving) | overstimulation
summary: Bucky took something Sam gave him as a joke... turned out it wasn't a joke
a/n: i'll admit, this is purely porn with plot
The Tower was silent, eerily so.
Bucky liked it that way sometimes, when the others were off on assignments or out enjoying the city. Silence gave him space to think. Or not think.
Today, heâd planned on the latter.
A few days ago Sam, being the same and usual Sam, had slipped him some modern help laughing as he tossed a bottle into Buckyâs lap and winked. âYou're a hundred years old, Barnes. Might as well try what the rest of us use now and then.â
Bucky had scowled, rolled his eyes but yet shoved the little bottle into his drawer with no intention of touching it.
That morning was different.
His mind was too loud, his body tenser than usual, and thoughts of her hadnât stopped plaguing him.
Y/N.
She was everything he wanted and nothing he thought he deserved. Y/N was fierce, loyal, funny in a way that disarmed him, and way too good at dodging his awkward flirt attempts.
He tried so hard not to stare at her when she trained. Tried harder not to listen too closely when she laughed but most days, he failed miserably.
When he woke up he was already hard and aching, tons of thoughts of her were already tormenting his mind, he remembered Samâs stupid joke and he gave in. âJust to get it out of my system,â he muttered, swallowing the damn pill and dragging himself to the showers like a man on a mission.
No one else was supposed to be in the Tower anyway.
âWhat could go wrong?â He muttered to himself at the empty room.
Y/N stood in the kitchen in leggings and an old Stark Industries hoodie, barefoot with her hair damp from her own shower, sipping coffee and scrolling on her tablet. She had stayed behind from the latest op to recover from a minor sprain, nothing serious, but Tony had made a fuss and ordered her to âtake a break or face the wrath of Black Widow.â
The quiet was nice and peaceful.
She rinsed her mug and went back to her room. Until she heard a deep, muffled groan echo down the hall. Her head tilted. That was⊠definitely a male groan. Her brows furrowed. Only a few of the guys had voices that deep, and only one of them lived on the same floor as her.
âBucky?â She called.
Silence.
Then another low, frustrated sound almost like pain. OrâŠ
Her eyes widened. âOh my God.â She muttered.
In the privacy of his room, Bucky gritted his teeth and gripped the edge of the bathroom counter. This was not what he expected. He was used to⊠control. Training, pain tolerance, discipline. But this? The moment he wore his underwear, there was fire under his skin. But it wasnât due to the hot shower he just took.
The pill was working far too well and his body was strung tight, aching desperately. He leaned over the bathroom counter, sweat beading on his brow as he tried to breathe through it. He cursed. âIâm gonna kill Sam,â he muttered under his breath, palming himself through his boxers as another wave of heat rushed through him. âStupid, cock-â
He barely made it to the bed, panting as he laid back against the sheets, metal hand gripping the sheets while his flesh one wrapped around his cock. Underwear around his ankle but it wasnât working. Not enough. Not the person he craved. Not the skin to skin he really wanted.
He stroke himself fast and hard, precum dripping down his shaft, muscles tense and abs flexing with every thrust of his hand. His lips parted as low, desperate groans filled the room. âFuck⊠canât⊠fuck⊠not enoughâŠâ
Knock knock.
He froze.
âBucky?â
A voice.
Her voice.
Just outside the door.
His stomach dropped. Blood rushed to all the wrong places, the same wrong place. He scrambled on his feet jumping from the bed to the door, holding it closed. Boxer rushed on, painfully tight on him. âY/Nâwhat are you doing here?â
âI live here? What are you doing?â She paused. âAre you okay?â
âNo,â he groaned, forehead hitting the door. âI mean, yes. I meanâplease donât come in.â
There was silence for a beat. Then her voice, lower. âI thought I heard something. Are you sure?â
âMmff⊠yeah⊠Iâm fine,â he murmured, voice barely audible. Hearing her voice was killing him. Keeping his forehead against the door, his hand slid down his body inside his boxer. He gripped himself again, tightening the pressure.
Outside, Y/N frowned biting her lip. âYou donât sound fine.â
He swallowed hard, frustrated that he couldnât speak clearly. âJust⊠wait a sec,â he said, trying again, voice cracking. His metal hand pressing on his lips, trying to muffle the noise coming out of his mouth.
He tried so hard to calm himself. He moved toward the bed, sitting on the edge of it. Legs spread open and hand moving faster on his cock.
âIâm okay⊠I swearâŠâ
The door opened a crack. Heâd forgotten to lock it. Bucky didnât even try to lung forward or pushing it closed again.
She was already peeking in, eyes wide and lips parted and then she saw him.
Flushed, shirtless, wearing only a pair of very thigh underwear. Hair damp and sticking to his neck and very clearly⊠affected.
His hand was still around his cock, she glanced down smirking. He winced like youâd just caught him watching porn at work. âThis is not what it looks like.â
âAnd what does it look like, Bucky?â She asked, voice soft but tinged with something sharper. Teasing. Dangerous. He hesitated, sitting better on the bed.
She raised a brow. ââŠDid you take something?â
His face flushed red, ears burning and eyes on the floor, too ashamed of looking at her face. ââŠMaybe.â He growled. âYes, okay? Sam gave me a damn pill days ago and I thought I was alone, so I-â
âWhy?â
He swallowed. âBecause I couldnât stop thinking about you.â
âOh.â
âOh?â He snapped, embarrassed beyond reason.
She didnât look disgusted. Or scandalised. She looked⊠intrigued? A little smug?
The blue pills werenât meant for someone like him. Not officially. Not for a super soldier with an already enhanced everything, strength and reflexes and stamina and⊠libido. âYou look like youâre in pain,â she said softly.
âI am,â he grit. âI didnât think anyone was here. I wasnât gonna⊠hell, I donât know what I was gonna do.ââWell,â she said, locking the door behind her, âyouâve got a few options.â
He blinked at her. âWhat?â
She leaned against the wall. âYou could wait it out. Could take a cold shower. OrâŠâ She moved toward Bucky, he flinched a little once she sat on the bed near him, brushing against his hip. ââŠYou could let me help.â
His breath hitched. âY/N⊠donât tease me.ââIâm not,â she said, voice suddenly serious. âIâve wanted you for a long time, Bucky. If this is how the truth comes out⊠so let it be.â
The look in her eyes nearly undid him. Heat but softness at the same time. There was lust and even something else he didnât get immediately. It was something that burned even hotter than the pill in his system.
âSay the word,â she whispered.
He leaned closer, metal hand cradling her jaw, the human hand trembling slightly as it rested on her waist. His forehead pressed against hers. Sitting near each other, his fire rise. âYouâre sure?â
She nodded. âI want you.â
Then his lips were on hers, hungry and desperate holding many months of tension snapping like a live wire between them. She gasped into his mouth, fingers digging into his back as he backed her up against the mattress in a second.
He hovered her, grinding against her. Bucky kissed her like he was starving. Not rushed but yet devouring her. Lips slanting over hers, tongue sliding in with a low groan. His metal hand firm around her hip while the other roamed her skin like he couldnât decide what to touch first. Her neck, her waist, the swell of her breasts under her hoodie.
All of it was his to explore.
Y/N felt the weight of him between her legs as he pressed her back against the mattress, hips grinding with purpose. He was hot and hard and heavy against her, and there was no mistaking the effect of that little blue pill. âFuck,â she breathed as he kissed down her neck, nipping just beneath her jaw. âThis isnât going to wear off anytime soon, is it?â
His chuckle was low and rough. âNo. Youâre in for a long day, sweetheart.â She pulled his mouth back to hers, kissing him deeper this time, moaning when his fingers dipped beneath her waistband.
He found her soaked, already slick and swollen, and he hissed through his teeth. âJesus, youâre wet. For me?â
âAll for you,â she whispered, rocking into his touch.
âGimme a little show doll⊠strip for me,â Bucky ordered her.
She didnât wast a second. Rushing up from the bed, Bucky laid down resting on his metal arm. The flesh hand goes directly to his cock as he removed his boxer. Bucky was now fully naked, stroking his cock.
Y/N stood at the end of the bed, mouth open as he saw Bucky in his glorious state. She began playing with the edge of her hoodie, letting him seeing some skin. She lifted the hoodie, no bra nor shirt under it.
Her boobs peaked out and Bucky stroke himself faster. âGood, perfect boobs doll.â
He moaned the last word.
Not wanting to tease him more, she slid leggings and undies in a swift movement.
âCome here now.â
She knelt on the bed and crawled up to him. He slid his hand on her waist and pulled her down on the mattress. His finger circled her clit slow, deliberate and teasing. She tried to grind harder, closing her legs but he gripped her thigh and spread her open wider.
âPatience,â he growled into her ear. âWanna feel you come apart on my hand first.â
He sank two fingers inside her. Her head fell back, a choked moan escaping her lips as he curled them just right, finding the spot that made her hips buck involuntarily. âThere,â he murmured, thumb rubbing tight circles against her clit while he pumped in and out with slow, merciless rhythm. âThat feel good?ââYes,â she gasped, nails digging into his shoulders. âGod, BuckyâŠâ
He kissed her again to swallow the sounds she made, fingers never slowing. The metal of his other hand gripped her thigh, holding her open, strong and unyielding. She was about to came with a gasp, trembling, clenching around his fingers as her legs shook. He stopped and she grunted but he didnât even give her time to whine. He dropped to his knees in front of her on the floor, pulling her on the edge of the bed.
âWait⊠what are youâŠâ
His mouth latched onto her soaked pussy before she could finish the sentence. She nearly screamed. He licked her like a man possessed. Slow at first tasting her, then with more urgency. His tongue flicking over her clit in sharp, wet strokes. He groaned against her, hands gripping her thighs, keeping her open as he feasted on her like it was his goddamn job.
âBucky⊠fuck⊠I canâtâŠâ
âYes you can,â he growled, mouth shiny and wet. âGive me what I want.â
She came with a cry, hips twitching and thighs squeezing around his head as her vision went white. He stood quickly after that, lips slick and eyes blown black with lust. She could see how hard he still was as the pill hadnât worn off in the slightest.
His cock straight in the air, thick and flushed, leaking at the tip. âCondom,â he muttered, rifling through the drawer.
âIâm clean,â she panted, pulling her hair off her face. âAnd on the shot.â
His eyes darkened. âFuck,â he muttered. âYou sure?â
She nodded, kneeling on the bed close to the edge, wrapping her hand around his cock and stroking it slowly. âI want all of you. Nothing between us.â
Bucky jumped on the bed, just as she slid in the middle of it. She spread her legs, Bucky saw her pussy still glistening from his saliva. He took his cock in his hand, playing with her folds with his tip.
âBuckyâŠâ she whined.
âWhat?â Bucky replied smirking. His cock now slapping on your pussy. âDonât you like a little teasing first?â
You shook your head no.
Bucky looked at you. Eyes closed, hair tousled on the bed.
The first thrust stole both their breaths. He slid in deep, stretching her wide and they both moaned at the contact, at how good it felt. Raw and bare, heat against heat.
He paused only a second, breathing hard against her neck. âYou feel like heaven,â he whispered. âSo tight, fuck⊠so perfect.â Then he started to move.
Deep and smooth strokes, slow enough to make her feel every inch of him. His metal hand gripped her waist, holding her still while his hips snapped forward again and again, hitting that spot inside her that made her cry out.
âWanted this for so long,â he muttered, lips against her throat. âThought about you every damn night. Touching myself, wishing it was you.â
She whimpered, wrapping her legs around his waist, pulling him in deeper. âYou shouldâve said something,â she whispered, clenching around him. âI wanted you too.ââDonât say that,â he growled, fucking her harder now. âIâm barely holding on.â
But she wanted him to let go. So she clenched tighter, dragged her nails down his back, whispered filthy things into his ear and when she came, crying out his name, he lost it. He cursed, pulled her flush against him, and came with a growl, buried deep inside her. His hips jerked as he filled her with thick, pulsing heat.
For a long moment, they just breathed. His head dropped to her shoulder, her arms wrapped around his neck, and the world felt still. âBetter than your hand?â she teased after a while, voice breathless. He chuckled, kissed her cheek. âYou ruined me.â Then, something softer. âI think I love you.â
She smiled, brushing his hair back. âGood. Because I think I love you too.â
Bucky was still hard.
Even after blowing his load deep inside her, hips trembling with release, he hadnât softened in the slightest. âJesus,â Y/N mumbled with a dazed smile, her legs barely working. âThat pill really doesnât quit, huh?â
âItâs not just the pill,â he muttered, holding her close. âYouâre in my head. Youâve been there for months.â
She kissed his jaw, flushed and glowing, skin sticky with sweat. âWell, maybe youâll finally sleep after this.ââI wouldnât count on it,â he muttered, brushing a hand between her thighs. âStill hard as a damn rock. Youâre lucky Iâm not bending you over the sink right now.â
She shivered from the pleasure. âWhy donât we compromise?â
He looked at her, and lifted her in a second.
The bathroom was already fogged up from the earlier shower but now the steam was rolling thick again, curling around their naked forms as the shower sprayed hot against their skin.
Bucky stepped in behind her, arms snaking around her waist, cock already nudging against her ass.
âI should be tired,â she murmured, eyes fluttering shut as he nuzzled the side of her neck. âBut Iâm not.ââThat makes two of us.â He turned her slowly, pressing her back against the tiled wall.
The water ran down her curves, glistening across her chest as she looked up at him. His soaked hair sticking to his skin, lips parted, chest rising and falling in anticipation. âYou look like something out of a dream,â he muttered. âAnd Iâve had a lot of dreams about you in the shower.â She smirked, trailing her fingers down his chest, over the lines of his abdomen, until she was gripping his thick and still aching cock again.
âLike this?â she asked, stroking him slow under the water.
He growled low in his throat, eyes closing for a second. âExactly like that.â
Then she dropped to her knees.
The water cascaded over his shoulders as she licked the head tasting him. Her tongue teasing the tip before her mouth went down over him. He hissed, one hand bracing against the wall, the other threading through her wet hair.
âFuck, Y/N⊠your mouthâŠâ
She hollowed her cheeks bobbing her head slowly. Her tongue was dragging along the underside. Buckyâs thighs tensed, groans echoing in the tile chamber but he didnât stop her. He didnât dare, not until he was twitching in her mouth, dangerously close again. âBaby,â he gasped, pulling her up before he could lose control. âI wanna come inside you again. Please.â
She leaned in, kissing him deep. He picked her up and she wrapped her leg around his waist as he pressed her back to the wall. He lined up and thrust in her deep enough to made her clench.
Her moan was broken and breathless against his lips as he filled her again, sliding home to the hilt.
âStill so tight,â he growled, thrusting slow, grinding against her. âCan feel you clenching already.â
She clung to him, nails raking down his back. âYou feel so good, BuckyâŠso bigâŠâ He fucked her slow and wet, the sound of skin slapping echoing through the shower. His mouth moved over her throat and her collarbone, biting and sucking marks into her skin. âMine,â he whispered between thrusts. âYouâre mine now.â
âYours,â she panted. âAlways was.â
That broke him.
He slammed in harder and faster, arms flexing as he pinned her to the wall. Her cries grew louder, water running down their bodies as he fucked her through another climax. Y/N felt her legs shaking, as her nails digging deep inside his back. He came with a groan against her neck, hips jerking, cock pulsing inside her for the second time.
They stayed like that for a while letting the water wash over them. Bucky finally pulled back, brushing soaked hair from her face, his expression softer now. âYou okay?â
She smiled, resting her forehead against his. âBetter than okay. You?â
He nodded, though his cock still hadnât gone completely soft. His body was high on her. At this point it wasnât just the pill, it wasnât even just the sex itself.
It was her. It always had been.
âRound three,â he teased with a tired grin. âEventually.â
âGod help me,â she whispered with a laugh. âYouâre insatiable.â He kissed her gently, sweet and slow this time. âOnly for you.â
She should have been tired, really tired, but Buckyâs cock still semi hard for her along with his eyes absolutely stuck on her made her less tired. They dried themselves and got back in Buckyâs room. He let her pass first, as a gentleman but also taking a look at her ass.
âFeeling his eyes on me,â
âCan you blame me?â
She turned around. âDo you have something in mind?â
He took a look at the floor, then at her.
âBarnes do you wanna fuck me on the floor?â
âWould you let me?â He looked down, almost shy.
âIâd let you do anything you want,â
Bucky smiled as he moved closer, then kissing her. At last he knelt. He kissed her stomach, then her thighs. âYouâre addictingâŠâ
She lowered on the floor, lips to his ear. âHow do you want me on the floor?â
âLaying down,â a kiss. âOn your stomach,â another kiss. âSpread your legs a littleâŠâ one last kiss.
She rushed turning herself on the floor. Her ass fully in sight. Bucky let his finger slid on her body, then he lowered and kiss her back thighs. He gave her ass a little slap, kneading her cheeks with both hands. He spread them a little, licking her pussy. He positioned himself better, cock in his hand. As he did before, he tapped her pussy with his cock. He slid inside her. Her core still warm and welcoming. He grabbed her hips as he moved his weight on his knees. He pounded in her hard and deep.
âBuck,â she moaned as she tried to move her arm behind. âCome closer⊠crush me please⊠I need itâŠâ
âAre you sure?â He snapped his hips once more.
As she nodded, he lowered on her. His chest against her back. His hot breath in her ear. He licked her neck, nibbled at her lobe. He lifted her torso, just enough to grab both her boobs. His weight completely crushing her.
âFuck me harder BuckyâŠâ
He removed his hands from her chest, letting her down on the floor. He yanked her hair in a fist, pulling her head behind. As his hips snapped harder. Precise thrusts hitting her spongy spot inside.
âOh my god,â she moaned breathless, her nails on the floor like cat claws. âJust like this⊠donât stop please⊠donât stopâŠâ
He didnât, in fact he pounded more and more in her pussy. He felt a cramp but didnât stop. He knelt completely pulling her up with him. She was now on all four, exposed and sweaty. As he slapped her ass once more, she came. Her legs trembled, as her pussy clenched on him just as she wanted to keep him in there forever.
He followed her second later. Another flush of him inside her. He remained there hands on her hips, cock inside her and forehead on her back.
On the other hand, Y/Nâs knees threatened to break the balance but she stayed there feeling his weight on her.
Once their breath were calmer, he stood up. She lost balance and felt on the floor. Bucky immediately picked her up again.
He opened the shower, turning on the hot water. Sensing the heat he entered with her clinging on him like a koala.
âCan you stand?â
âIf you hold me yeahâŠâ she muttered, face crushed into his chest.
He kissed her head, picking the shampoo. He washed her hair, then his with the remaining foam. It was now time to take the body wash. He picked the bottle and squeezed some on his hands. Y/N was in a sleepy state, against Buckyâs massive frame. He slid his hand on her body, massaging and cleaning her. Her skin so soft.
âI can get used to this,â she said, caressing his hair once he lowered himself to wash her legs. âItâs nice,â
âI want you to get used to this,â
He stood and stole another kiss from her. He got out the shower first, picked a robe and put it on. Then he took the other robe and slid on her body. He stroke his hand on her clothed body, then circled her waist. She found again her spot on his chest, standing there in the foggy bathroom.
The tower was still empty when they eventually finished and they finally went to bed, cleaned and satisfied. Y/N laid on his chest, hand on his heart. Bucky felt her weight on his torso, as his arm circled her body protecting and keeping her there.
The morning after Bucky was whistling, actually whistling, as he padded into the kitchen barefoot. When he woke up, he kissed Y/Nâs lips first.
âWeâre gonna have to face the other⊠especially SamâŠâ he said, looking down at you.
âIâm gonna thank him so much. Best sex Iâve ever had,â she looked at him noticing an almost sad expression on him. âBucky⊠I know itâs not only the pill. Iâve dreamt about it for so longâŠâ
He smiled. âIâll let you know it was not the pill⊠100% youâŠâ She corked her eyebrow up. âAlright 80% you and 20% the pill,â
When you got up, he threw on a hoodie over his bare chest. He picked something from his wardrobe for her.
He was smiling like he hadnât done in months, maybe longer.
They both entered smiling and holding hands seeing the only one Bucky didnât want to see.
Sam Wilson.
He was seated at the breakfast bar eating his cereal and froze mid-spoonful. He blinked, lowered the spoon. Then slowly turned to look at Y/N, who trailed into the kitchen, wearing Buckyâs hoodie. ââŠNo fucking way,â Sam said, deadpan.
Y/N paused. âMorning, Sam.â
âYou,â He pointed his spoon between the two of them. âYou did not. You seriously?â
Bucky walked right past him to the coffee machine, not bothering to hide his grin. Sam dropped his spoon. âWhen?!â
âYesterday,â Y/N said cheerfully, grabbing a mug. âIn his bed. Then the shower. Then the floor.â
âThe floor?â Sam covered his ears. âStop. I donât need a play-by-play!â
Bucky chuckled, sipping his coffee. âYou did give me the damn pill.â
âI gave it as a joke!â Sam shouted, now half-laughing, half-horrified. âI didnât expect you to actually use it!â
âWell, you gave a super soldier a pharmaceutical-grade sex drug,â Y/N said, raising an eyebrow. âWhat did you think was gonna happen? The tower was empty.â
Sam slumped over the counter like a man in defeat. âI thought maybe heâd get a little action. Not that heâd break the fucking foundation of the building.â
âCâmon,â Bucky said, smirking. âYou should be happy for me.â
âI was until I realised I was gonna hear about your Olympic-level sex marathon over my Cheerios.â
Y/N leaned in, lowering her voice dramatically. âYou shouldâve heard him moaning⊠best sound in the world⊠I have to thank you, Sam.â
âOKAY!â Sam stood up, backing away. âThatâs it. Iâm moving out. Iâm done. I canât live like this.â
âYouâre being dramatic,â Bucky said, sipping his coffee.
Sam stared at him. âYou barked at me the other day for breathing too loud while you were watching The Crown and now youâre here walking around like itâs Valentineâs Day morning in a goddamn Hallmark movie.â
Bucky shrugged. âIâm relaxed.â
âToo relaxed.â Sam snorted.
Y/N was giggling now, leaning into Buckyâs side as he wrapped a lazy arm around her waist.
Sam gave them both a long, unblinking look. âFine. You guys are cute together,â he looked at them. âBut stop with the sex OlympicsâŠâ
âCanât promise you anything,â Y/N said laughing.
Sam smiled, seeing his best friend happy.
Once they were alone again, Bucky picked her up on the counter. She spread her legs and Bucky positioned himself between them. She circled his neck with her arms, pulling him closer.
âI love you, Bucky. I love you so much.â
âI love you too, doll.â He kissed her. âIâm sorry for this⊠this wasnât how I meant to let you know about my feelings.â
âI like how you let me know about your feelingsâŠâ she kissed her ear, the space on the neck above the ear. He flinched from pleasure, even tho the pillâs effects were completely washed out of his body.
âIâm gonna spend my life letting you know thatâŠâ