#glossaries

maybe it’s an accent thing but it definitely sounds to me more like they’re saying more-RAIN, not mwah-RAIN 

and I had a moment of “Have I been saying her name wrong all these years???” But this is the glossary.

I will also say, though, that I think LGBTQ glossaries (that most basic of “resources” intended to help both cis straight people and those recently out or questioning) can actually do a disservice by simplifying the richness of our identities (the internal debates, developments, alternate understandings, complexities, intersections) into one-line soundbites. Not only that, but I think the expansive LGBTQ ones also promote standardization across terms, so that all terms are defined by the same variable (usually attraction) and potential overlap is reduced. I hope people understand that every glossary is an assertion of authoritative knowledge. Their compilation involves discarding some understandings in favor of others, and these selections tend to be based on one of multiple possible understandings of sexuality and identity, so that some worldviews but not others are reflected.

I think this may also help inform the conflict over “MOGAI” (and stereotyped ace/aro) approaches to identity. I feel like “MOGAI” is most associated with glossary blogs proposing many specialized identities. Specialized identities aren’t necessarily bad, but some (often including myself) find the imagined norm against which they are defined to be unrealistic, restricting, or insulting. There can also be a naturalizing effect in defining experiences as “sexual orientations,” which often suggests objectivity, social neutrality, and innateness. (An observation that applies to wider LGBTQ uses of “sexual orientation” as well.) Combined with technical-sounding formula of identity term constructions, the proliferation of specialized terms can appear to represent a more complete, updated, and “accurate” accumulation of knowledge compared to sources that omit them, putting other approaches on the defensive.

Here are a few glossaries you can utilize to help find a microlabel:

http://genderfluidsupport.tumblr.com/genderhttp://gender.wikia.com/wiki/Category:Gender_Identitieshttps://nonbinary.wiki/wiki/Main_Page

There’s also a bunch of blogs like @beyond-mogai-pride-flags​, @genderlist​, @imoga-pride​, and @variant-archive​ that are meant to help collect labels and be lexicon/pride resources.

You can utilize the search feature to help narrow down your search. ^^

The terms that immediately came to mind for me when I read your ask were: nonbinary, trigender, polygender, and genderflux. As for the boy adjacent part of your gender, you might be interested in the term proxvir.

Please note that there’s no rules as to how you have to label. You can choose:

One label

Multiple labels

Together/at the same time

Fluctuating/at different times

An umbrella/general term

A microlabel(s)

A microlabel(s) and umbrella term

A label that you have specially created to describe your experience/identity

No label whatsoever

Questioning as a label

I’m sorry this probably isn’t what you were hoping for, but no one can determine the right term(s) for you except you. Also, there is not always some magical ‘aha!’ revelation moment. Sometimes it takes some time to settle on a term. It took me a matter of years to come to accept that I was nonbinary and be totally comfortable thinking of myself as such. I spent months searching for the perfect term before accepting it was overwhelming me, backing off, and just sitting with nonbinary for a while. There wasn’t a time when the pieces just fell together at the same time or when the heavens opened up and sang to me. I grew into the terms. I fell into love with them, very, very slowly. The only sudden thing was realizing, years later, that I had actually, at some point I hadn’t even known, accepted I was nonbinary and that the term nonbinary felt right for me.

I hope this helped, and good luck finding a term you like!

I don’t know of a glossary organized in this manner, unfortunately, but that would be very useful to look through! My trick for looking through glossaries is just to use the browser’s find function and hit common, relative terms like: boy, man, and masc, and just focus on the identities with my keyword.

You could just drop the demi and go by agender man as another option, though! But also, try not to let yourself get pulled down by anybody who’s going to describe you as something like “male-lite”. 

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