#gilajames

Wow, another amazing question.

There's a lot of media from my childhood that I think I'd love if I were encountering for the first time today. Both Star Wars and Star Trek, for instance, were experiences that I was far too young to really grasp the implications of (I was like 5 or 6 when the A New Hope was in theaters) until I was much older.

If I'd hit Star Wars like 10-12 years ago I would've written SO MUCH Luke/Han fic -- but instead my neighborhood friends and I played Star Wars together (I was always Leia and my best friend was always Luke and when he spoiled the "they're siblings" thing for me after Empire came out I was SO UNBELIEVABLY MAD AT HIM) and those are memories (vague as they are, 40+ years later) that I don't think I'd want to give up if someone offered to erase Star Wars from my brain so I could come back to it fresh.

I do wish I'd encountered fanfic earlier in my life, though. I didn't actually get into reading fanfic until... 2013? Ish? I know I didn't try my hand at writing fanfic until 2014. But before that there were so many things that I got so unbelievably excited about and at the time I had no idea what to do with that energy and excitement. I had crushes on a ton of fictional characters (most of them really embarrassing to think about now 🙃) that could've been channeled into a stupid number of terrible marysue writer-insert fics. Though to be fair, I'd already written a stupid number of terrible marysue writer-insert fics about my D&D/RP characters, so...

Written by @gilajames, recorded by me as part of the @summerpodficswap 2024, for @flowerparrish!

15 minute mp3, rated G, humor, no warnings

Summary: Parker has a new job for them. Alec isn't sure this is what he signed up for...

I don't have a Leverage tag list yet - let me know if you want to be notified if/when I post more!

Different versions of the cover image below the cut!

gilajames replied to your post “Prompts”

Jaskier/Geralt, feral disaster bard getting into street/bar brawls

Yennefer of Vengerberg looked around what remained of the bar. She hitched up her skirts and stepped between downed men, pools of ale and blood, smashed furniture, until she reached the only still-standing table in the place.

Or maybe it was standing again. Geralt might very well have put it back, after using it to smash someone’s head in. It could happen. Probably. The man never remembered to put a lid on the chamberpot, so maybe he hadn’t.

“Do I even want to know what happened here?”

“Hmph,” Geralt said. 

“Don’t wear out your multisyllabic vocabulary, Witcher,” Yenn said. “Jaskier?”

Jaskier was a little worse for wear. His pretty yellow jacket was torn and stained. Not that unusual. Getting dirty was all part and parcel of traveling with a Witcher. 

Or a bard. 

Sometimes Yenn wasn’t certain who caused more destruction.

“I think there’s an unbroken barrel here, would you like an ale?”

He brought it to her -- the mug was cracked, and dripping out the bottom, but it was good ale, so Yenn decided to just drink it, rather than comment.

“So, were they at least monsters?”

There were well over a dozen downed men -- drunk or dead. Hard to tell. Geralt got carried away sometimes.

“No, worse,” Jaskier said.

“What’s worse than monsters?”

Going down the list, it’s: Steve (he actually does! His momma makes sure of it,) Bruce, (possibly) Bucky, Pepper, Jane, Peggy, Sam, Kamala, and Jan. They have a combined 98.3% chance of turning in every assignment on time and getting at least a B on it

I need someone to send me a bunch of diet dr pepper & cream soda, except I think they stopped making it.

You had me at Hello

“I just don’t get it,” Buckysaid, disgusted. He took a handful of popcorn and clearly considered throwingit at the screen, but Steve quelled that with a look. Just because Tony hadmade custom ‘bots that vacuumed the carpet was no reason for Buck to waste foodlike that.

“Don’t get what?” Natdidn’t even look up from her book, paying no attention at all to the movie.“It’s an action movie. It makes almost no sense, follows no laws of physics,and mostly exists to show off good looking people in improbable situations.”

“I… don’t get how thatguy-- that one, right there, like, he’s not even hot at all -- isgetting laid every time we switch scenes. I mean, I was smooth, back in theday. Wasn’t I smooth, Steve?”

Steve rolled his eyes.“If you could call it that.” Buck had been very popular with his dates, back inthe forties, even when Steve considered that he was constantly being dragged ondouble-dates. The ladies knew Steve was tagging along, and they still agreedanyway, so Bucky must have been some sort of smooth.

“And I was not shakingout the sheets like that,” Bucky gesticulated wildly. “What is he saying to getthat much quality ass?”

“I don’t know, Buck,”Steve admitted. “Sorry, I don’t speak skank.”

“I do!” said Tony as hecame in the room, his own bowl of popcorn balanced precariously on theomnipresent coffee mug. “What skank are we speaking to?”

“James wishes to knowhow he can have the sex appeal of Jason Statham,” Nat said. “I think it’s ahopeless case and he should just give up.”

Tony turned toward themovie and watched for a moment as Statham scored yet another pretty girl. Stevehad to admit, Bucky might have a point. Maybe he had a mutant power that wouldbe revealed later? No, too subtle for this sort of movie.

“Oh, well, that’s prettyeasy, really,” Tony said. “It’s only about fifteen percent actual sex appeal.The secret is in saying the right things, in the right way.”

“I have actualsex appeal,” Bucky protested, flexing just a little harder than usual. The wayhe always did when Tony was in the room. “He doesn’t. So what the hellis he saying that’s getting him into everyone’s pants?”

Tony set his bowl andmug on the table. “I imagine it’s something like...” He leaned over the couchuntil his lips were brushing right against Bucky’s ear -- which was totallyunnecessary; Bucky’s hearing was as enhanced as the rest of him -- andwhispered something, low enough that even Steve couldn’t hear it.

Bucky’s neck turned red,and then his ears, and then his whole face. He looked like a tomato that wasabout to combust. His mouth opened, but no sound came out.

Tony straightened, justa hint of a sly smirk on his lips, and winked at Bucky. “A little bit likethat,” he said, his tone easy and unaffected. He plopped down onto the couchbetween Bucky and Nat, and grabbed his popcorn.

Bucky swallowed hardenough that Steve could hear it from across the room. He couldn’t decide ifBucky had been turned to stone, or if his pants were going to spontaneously goup in flames.

“Really, Tony?” Natasked, nudging him with her elbow. “You’re being unkind to James. I mean,usually you just need to say hi.”

I can see Venom trying to do this food sex thing he has heard of? Eddie wakes up on the couch to find tater tots on his legs?? A chocolate bar balanced on his face?? WTF, Venom???

ooof.

Goose, Scott, Groot

Scott and Goose are tied.