#gettingoverhim

Thank you to everyone who has commented/messaged and shared my request for healing heartbreak tips :) 

I knew you'd have good ideas! 

I am thinking of creating a book or something lovely to share and help the broken hearted. 

Today was fine.

Sure, there are times where I think about him, I guess.

But honestly, it’s mostly fondly?

And, to be fair, none of my head is going “god i want to get back together again” anymore, which I think is pretty big now!

Well, we hang in mutual friend circles, so bumping into him’s gonna be a problem.

Especially probably singling him out every time, but I can slowly cease doing that, probably.

I mention him nonchalantly now, I think i’m able to do that, at least.

I dunno, it did hurt a bit today, i won’t lie, but it was actually pretty okay. nothing bad.

i mean, i guess i’m getting better?

probably rushing into getting over it isn’t going to like help me out or anything. i should just take my own pace and stuff.

but god, any inkling of him and i’m just thinking back to him again, i guess.

i’ll get better with time, i’m sure!

now that i’ve sort of locked into my mind that, heck, you’re going to have to see him EVENTUALLY, youre’ going to bump into him inevitably.

and once i’ve like accepted that, things are better.

i think it’s correct that in my part 1 post, it just hurt a lot because I hadn’t imagined seeing him, nor imagined even like. being in the general vicinity.

i just need to work on acknowledging that we’re strangers now, which is weird cause 10 months of time had been spent together, but, god.

i’m sure i’ll be okay!

positive mindset is a good thing.

i think, when the breakup first happened, i was so taken over with “god it’s all my fault” and “how could this happen”

like i almost refused to believe it

but as time passes, i’m realising that maybe it WAS for the better, y’know?

like at first i was like, dying, almost, but now i see that it wouldn’t have worked anyways, but also that maybe this WAS for the better.

i dunno, it’s still too early to think much more in depth about this, i think, because it hurts to do that, i’m just now realising AHAHAHA.

this year i’ve decided to absolutely immerse myself in studies and whatnot, and make sure i’m so busy i won’t even have the time for anything.

that’s my goal, anyways.

it’s nicer that i’d imagined that i get to write my feelings out, actually.

So I’m giving myself 45 days to get over an ex? (wow 45 day challenge ahaha)

Just until the end of this September.

So until then, I’m just going to keep up this part series and write my feelings out, even if nobody really cares what i’m saying, cause, get it out there, y’know?

Honestly, I shouldn’t be moping so much, and I don’t even think I like him any more?

(honestly i’m just here to rant a bit ahaha) (i’ve been neglecting this site for so long omg i really shouldn’t)

The problem is, I can’t stand to be in the same room as he is?

Like over a month of not seeing him, I was like, “dude, i’m totally ready, i’m on top of the world”

except i see him and the wind is sort of knocked out of me and OUCH

I’ve decided that my best tactic is probably to avoid him as much as possible?

I just want to get better, honestly.

I might achieve that by having more me time.

I think the biggest problem’s possibly that I’m like.

I haven’t given myself a lot of time to grieve? God, that’s such a deep serious word, but I guess it works..?

God every time I see him, it hurts, except it really shouldn’t cause i’m 200% sure i’m over it. And literally reminders just pop up every day or something, and i’m just woah where did THAT come from??

Reconnecting with friends is gonna be hard, I think. But once I’ve given myself enough time to get back together, it should be fine, right?

i just want to be at the level where I can stop singling him out in crowds, or thinking about him regretfully, where I can just be myself again.

That’s gonna be hard seeing as we used to run in mutual friend groups, but maybe i’ll take some alone time for a while!

Just for a bit.

Sure, the break up isn’t really an EARLY thing, it happened, i dunno, a month? a month and a half? ago and honestly i should be over it maybe?

i dunno, i’ve been reading things and people are like, it differs from person to person

i’m going to give myself until september to get over this shit because this should NOT be negatively affecting me as much as it is right now, because, as horrible a human being i probably am, I still don’t deserve this, i think?

not even benefit of the doubt sort of things.

i’m probably gonna make myself really really busy.

...are hard.

i never thought about my boyfriend’s exs until 3 years down the line.

i guess i was naïve, thinking if you meet the one then obviously they are fresh for your taking. no, this was not the case for me. neither would it be the case for many people to be honest. how often do you hear about people marrying the one they lost their virginity to? apart from true christians, i would say 90% of successful relationships come after the two people have experimented on others. and even then, christians are eager to get down and busy so they get married like 2 months into dating lmao