Im struggling with school. Assistance has always been an issue considering how much the place drains me, both physically and mentally. Now they have this stupid rule where you need a 90% assistance in order to be able to take the final exam. I've been trying to go every day but Im so tired and I really need to take a day off but Im just terrified about failing and people worrying about me again.
I am really sorry that you are struggling so much right now, but hopefully Iâll be able to give you a little advice. I just want to start by saying that iâm really proud of you for reaching out to us for help, I know how hard it can be to talk about things like this, so youâve done so well <3
Just before I actually answer your ask, I just want to check something - I am presuming that you are talking about your attendance, instead of âassistanceâ? I am going to answer talking about attendance, but please do correct me if iâm wrong and I will edit my answer immediately!
Keeping such a high attendance record can be especially hard when experiencing an kind of mental health issue. It may be possible for your school to put in special measures for you, so that you can still sit your exams even if your attendance is a little lower than the rule says. Is there someone that you trust at your school, like a teacher or counsellor, who might be able to discuss the options with you and help you to put some measures in place? I also recommend discussing any concerns you may have about the exams with your tutors or another member of staff as they may be willing to help you out with learning the content etc.Â
Are you currently receiving any professional help like seeing a therapist? If not then it may be helpful for you to do so as they may be able to diagnose and treat any mental/physical health issue you are experiencing. Seeing a therapist may also be helpful because you will have someone who you can talk to ongoing about what you are facing and going through in life. I also want you to know that you can also contact a helpline or try web counselling if that is easier for you. If you click here you can read our page on getting help which you may find helpful to read.
I think taking a day off is a good idea, especially if it is what your body is telling you it needs - there is absolutely no shame in having to take a day for yourself!
Self-care is really important for you right now. I realise that you have a busy schedule, but try to take at least an hour or two a day for yourself; fill that time with doing things that you enjoy and make you feel relaxed and at peace. For example, I take the two hours before I go to sleep and try it fill that time with things like art and music, Iâll also take the time to have a bath, wash my hair, look after my skin, etc. Practising self-care also involves things like making sure you are getting enough sleep, eating well, and staying hydrated. Spending time with your friends is also key so that you donât begin to feel alone and isolated. Your friends can act as a strong support network for you. Try to take at least a couple of hours off everyday, away from your work, and fill that time with things you love and enjoy - maybe baking, or seeing friends, or exercise? Whatever it is, it is necessary to give yourself a break from the pressure of school and allow yourself to recharge with the positive energy that comes from doing the things you enjoy. It is key to take breaks whilst you are studying too, otherwise you become overwhelmed and feel isolated. It is recommended by professors that you should study for between 60-90 minutes at a time, taking at least a 10 minute break in between. In those 10 minutes (take longer if you need it!) try to do something that doesnât take too much brain power, but preferably involves being active; go downstairs and make a cup of tea, dance around to a song in your bedroom. I also think it is really important to stay in contact with your friends; they are likely feeling lonely and some degree of anxiety too, a cheerful message asking how they are, or just a joke, or a discussion about your plans for after exams, will hopefully make you both feel better and less alone.
Something I really want to make clear, is that you always come before education! Your health is so much more important than some grades. You can be incredibly successful with or without a degree, and you can be successful if you get 100% or 0% on an exam - success is more about your passion and drive for your career than about a few letters on a piece of paper. You are going to get so far in life, lovely, and I will be here cheering you on all the way! Your grades do not define you! <3Â
I hope this has been of some help and reassurance to you, love. Please donât hesitate to get back in touch if there is anything else that we can help you with. Also good luck with your exams, I know you can do this! <3