#taking breaks

I haven't been really motivated to draw my ocs, tbh I'm just some fictionkin loser that draws random stuff, I don't want to be a popular artist, I'm just here really. Being a creator is complicated, one mistake and you're gone in this day and age, you gotta be perfect. I've made jokes in the very past that haunt me and I thought it was ok because someone I looked up to does it, I don't anymore but I'm not perfect and I don't want to popular until I'm much much older and understand the world. I'm not quitting, I'm taking a small break and maybe occasionally making some drawings here and there. You guys are awesome, cya later

Somewhere in the neurospice of life, that gets mixed up (because our reward centers are bonkers). And we tell ourselves, "I'll sleep when I'm dead," as some kind of punishment for not getting something done.

But - I've learned - that's not how it works. Treats are rewards. Special engagements are rewards. Eating at a particular restaurant or tokens at the arcade are rewards.

Rest is self-care. Breaks are maintenance. Taking 5 minutes after an hour of study to rest the eyes and wiggle the limbs is like drinking water while out in the sun. Or warming up before a workout. Or using sunscreen. You Need Breaks To Function. You need breaks to prevent/minimize damage and/or illness.

So that’s what I’ve been doing lately. Actually for a long time. When will I come back? I don’t know in all honesty since it feels rather nice to not feel the need to post, and just do what you want to do or what you feel comfortable doing.

Sorry about not really posting about my sudden disappearance. It really happened suddenly and just you know.. Didn’t think much on it. Till I’m like let me just post about my current situation. It’s nothing bad or anything. Just focus on me.

This is because we often don't give notice to how much work we actually do in a day, because what constitutes as "work" for us is not "work" for others.

It requires me work to:

walk the dog

make a meal

shower

write a tumblr post

So of course taking breaks is going to require some work, too.

Here's how I've learned to plan for my breaks:

I give worry a time & place; this allows me to say, "now's not the time to worry" once I'm on break.

I accept all work as work (mentioned above)

I focus on doing the top 3 tasks in a day, not all of it; this combats the feeling that I need to do something to "deserve a break" (total bs, btw)

I listen to my body; it's not up to me to decide when it's "time" for a break

I have fun projects within my hobbies; this gives me a focus for my breaks, so I'm not spending time deciding what to do during my breaks

I know it seems convoluted now, but I promise you, this kind of forward planning for my breaks has allowed me to actually rest when it's time to rest.

I can finally rest on a daily and weekly basis without constantly solving problems in my head, ruminating on past conversations, or worrying about the future, because I gave worry a time & place.

I can accept that I do deserve a break every single day no matter what I actually accomplished, because I accepted everything as work, focused on my top 3, and listened to my body when it said it's time.

I can look forward to what I spend my breaks on, because I took the time to plan fun projects with other people, which holds me accountable to doing those things with my friends.

There's a quiet in the air,

Only soft breaths heard,

And a stillness in the space,

Nothing else preferred.

It seeps into my mind,

Soothes my racing heart,

Let's me relax at last,

No more scrambling to make art.

In all the days I'm thinking,

But here I can just breathe,

Let the peace embrace and cradle me,