#geraskier parenting

Lambert: Oh fuck, here he goes again

Geralt sits down at the table, grumbling: Hmmm

Jaskier: I don't know what you're talking about. I cannot just LEAF such a lovely man uncomplimented

Eskel: *undistinguishable groaning*

Jaskier: Are you all really not going to even CHAI to appreciate my genius?

Geralt: Jaskier, shut up

Geralt, picking up Ciri and putting her on the table: Your puns are TEAR-able

Ciri tears a piece of paper in her hands dramatically:

All other Witchers: OHHHHHH

Lambert: And with that, to practice

Jaskier: ... Five more minutes

Geralt: In that time she could set half of Kaer Morhen on fire

Geralt, putting something behind his back, blushing: Nothing

Jaskier: I know a lie when I see one, trust me, I do it all the time

Jaskier: You better share it or you know I will find unpleasant ways to reveal your secrets and you'll have to deal with your shame publicly

Geralt, groaning: ... fine

Geralt shows Jaskier knitting needles and thread: I wanted to make Ciri a scarf

Geralt: Kaer Morhen can get cold

Jaskier: OHMYGOD THAT'S THE CUTEST THING EVER!

Jaskier: How DARE you be so adorable

Jaskier: I made it for her

Geralt: Why would you do this?

Jaskier: Oh don't worry

Geralt: Our bedroom is above hers, Jaskier

Jaskier: Not anymore

Geralt: ???

Jaskier, smirking: Yennefer's is. I said Ciri would appreciate the closeness and the witch got all twitterpated. We'll see how she feels about it in the morning. Maybe she won't steal my fucking toast

Geralt: Did you do all of this just to-

Jaskier, covered in flour and globs of sticky dough: Going to ask Ciri a question

Geralt: That's not-

Geralt: And he's gone

Geralt: Should I see what the kitchen looks like?

Geralt: ...

Geralt: No, that's someone else's problem

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Geralt: No

Geralt: She was supposed to be with you

Jaskier, eyes widening: You know what, just... forget I said anything and I'll see you later

Geralt: Jaskier, wait-

Jaskier, running off: Don't worry, wolfie, I'll figure out where everything is! I won't lose another child in my care!

Ciri: Okay

Jaskier: They like being creepy and sticking dirt in their mouths and itching things publicly that they never should. And they can be very difficult with their emotions, just look at Geralt. You don't want to fall in love with that, would you?

Ciri: Cool with me

Jaskier: You're taking this disturbingly well

Ciri: I don't like boys that much

Ciri: Triss is very, very pretty though. I think I'm going to ask her to pick flowers with me

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Yennefer: How did scaring Ciri off dating go?

Jaskier: Oh, I just make pancakes but toss a handful of candies into them. She loves it

Geralt: She's absolutely not having those ever again, I'd like Ciri to live to adulthood with teeth and a functioning brain

Jaskier: Oh come now, my mother did that all my childhood and I turned out perfectly fine

Geralt, peering at Jaskier about to throw a spoiled orange at the back of Lambert's head: ...Hmmm