#geraskefer

jaskier: I’m sitting in a pool of blood.

geralt, frantically signalling yen for a portal: …Um, is it YOUR blood?

jaskier: I think so.

geralt: Do you know where the blood’s coming from?

jaskier: Probably the stab wound.

geralt: YOU’VE BEEN STABBED?!

ciri: jaskier— you— what—

jaskier: no time my dear, GERALT!

geralt: take a sword since you apparently know how to use it

jaskier: ah shit

yennefer: i’d laugh if it weren’t awful that i never knew this

jaskier: what? you never knew that i killed the man who dared hurt my child surprise?

geralt/ciri: your WHAT

jaskier: oh yeah! i wonder if he’s still alive! he better be after all the trouble i went through to keep him that way

yennefer: you ALSO have a child surprise?

jaskier: well he isn’t a child anymore, but yes

jaskier: this is why i told you you were making a mistake by never going back, geralt. i know what it’s like, especially when you called the law as a joke

~somewhere else~

aiden: *sneezes* fuck dad’s talking about me again

lambert: ???

aiden: well, i am his child surprise, but i call him dad as a joke

lambert: ?????

aiden: he did kill some guys for me though… maybe he does love me?

aiden: but why leave guxart to raise me then?