#gender perceptions

This is a poll on perceptions and assumptions of transmasculinity open to people of all genders. Do people around you tend to assume you’re transmasculine? Feel free to share relevant experiences in the notes.

"Heteropessimism" is a new term for me, but I have witnessed the phenomenon. I haven't had a chance to read all the linked sources/articles, yet, but some interesting food for thought on gender roles, sexuality and feminism here.

(Note: my experience of changing gendered perceptions has been largely positive, and that is related to the fact that I am afab, white, and living in a liberal city. However, I believe that a lot of what I’m saying here also applies, in a different way, to more negative experiences that more marginalized trans people encounter. A trans woman or trans femme enby doesn’t have to “pass” as cis to receive shitty treatment for being trans femme, lord knows. She doesn’t have to change her appearance or presentation at all to begin receiving awful treatment. Many many trans women and trans femme people have spoken to this far better than I ever could, of course.)

In an exclusive conversation with Human Capital, Mr. Suresh Bose, Head- Group Human Resources, Vedanta Limited says, “Vedanta Limited, India’s only diversified natural resources company, is leading by example and defining practices that are best in class in the industry. Vedanta, an equal opportunity employer, has respect, care and excellence as key values in its DNA and is committed to the highest level of integrity and global benchmarks. We have some unique people practices, which are in line with our core philosophy of nurturing and developing talent”.

Yesterday I was presenting pretty masculine. I wasn't binding, because I'm breastfeeding, but I had in my packer, was wearing masculine clothes, was typically speaking in a slightly lower register (I've been practicing, and while to my ear I still sound female, it gets good reactions), and probably had somewhat more masculine body language. Because it was cold, I was wearing an oversized flannel shirt, which had the added bonus of muting my breasts. So, late in the evening, I walked into a grocery store to buy some snacks for the drive home (I had a 1.5 hour drive ahead of me and nothing in my belly), while my husband and the kids waited in the car. So there I was checking out with my snacks, and the cashier was being really friendly with the woman in front of me in line. That was all the cue I needed to be friendly to the cashier when it was my turn, only her attitude toward me was decidedly cool. She wasn't rude, but she wasn't the same cheery, joking, lively person I'd been observing mere seconds before. She checked me out very quickly, and somewhat grudgingly responded to my polite attempts at small talk. I thought about complimenting her (lovely) pendant, or asking her about football (she was wearing a jersey, and it was the Superbowl after all), but decided not to because she obviously didn't want to talk to me, so most of my checking out was done in silence. A sharp contrast to the woman who checked out before me. So I gathered my bag and made my way out to the truck, where my family were waiting, and found that my son had to go potty. He's 3, and public restrooms scare him, so I talked to him cheerfully and encouragingly as we walked back in, and lo and behold, the restrooms were just past that cashier's lane. She smiled at Duck as we walked toward the restrooms, but gave me another cool look, which I returned with a bright smile as I continued to chatter at my son. We walked into the women's, because I am still not yet comfortable enough in my presentation to walk into the men's, no matter how masculine I'm feeling or feel like I'm presenting. Well, Duck did his business, and we walked back out, and that cashier caught my eye with a huge, cheery smile and a small wave. I smiled back and have her a slight nod, and Duck and I went back out to the truck. Let me repeat that for those of you who didn't hear me: as soon as the cashier decided I was a woman, she was friendly to me. All of the coolness disappeared. Now, it could be that she was confused about my gender and was embarrassed, and that's why she was cool toward me at first. Maybe she didn't think I was a man, maybe she thought I was androgynous. It could be that her change in demeanor was due to my obvious care for my son (though I doubt that's it, as that kind of change typically occurs sooner in this kind of scenario). There are many reasons her attitude could have changed. But I tend toward thinking it had something to do with her perception of my gender, and how it changed.