Aug 21
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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Went swimming for the first time since top surgery and the first time in like 5 years today and it was so much fun β€οΈ
I felt so much more aware of my body and it was actually so much fun and even relaxing to be able to just swim and mess around in the water without being painfully dysphoric about my body.
Sometimes transitioning (especially later in life) is less "fixes all your problems immediately" and more like finally having the courage to open the door to the abandoned basement you haven't dared to enter for decades, realizing it's somehow both flooded and on fire, and then spending years fixing it.
It's still better than keeping the door shut and having the whole house come crashing down on you one day, but it's still a lot of work.
Anyone who accuses you of "misgendering yourself" or not really being trans because you have a past that defined you in ways that still impact you (but isn't typical of the gender you identify as) is telling on themselves. Don't mistake what they're saying for having anything to do with you.
Until my early 20s, I fully believed my goal in life was to get married and raise kids. I wasn't pushed to be ambitious when it comes to getting a career, I was just kind of left to do whatever, because it ultimately didn't matter β I also fully believed that I'd have to always put my career second to my husband's. I never even questioned any of it. It was just the cards I was dealt. I wasn't ambitious because I wasn't taught that I could be. I didn't believe in myself. Nor did I believe that I had the freedom to do the things I wanted to do.
I was very lucky that I ended up meeting my partner (who I'm still with). He was not only not abusive, he was also willing to unlearn all of that garbage alongside me, and when we got to the point where I was ready to transition, he learned to support me and embrace the changes with me.
If it wasn't for him, I would not be where I am right now (not stuck in the lifestyle I was indoctrinated into seeing no alternatives to, fully living my life as a queer man, healing from my past). I might have never had the chance to get to know myself.
But just because it was a close call and I had to walk down many other paths before arriving here, that doesn't make me any less valid in my transness.
My story shows both the harm gendered socialization & misogyny can do, and is also proof that you can unlearn and healt from itβif you're willing to face it, self-reflect & grow.
You don't have to let your past define you, but being able to reflect on it is a good thing that more people should do. It will help you understand yourself, your beliefs & personality better, and identify the baggage that's still holding you back.
People who feel the need to pretend that their past never happened because it makes them dysphoric to think about it are just further behind in their journey than you are.
They're unwilling to face certain things about themselves, and they tend to react badly when they hear other trans people who have done the work talk about it in a casual way. It makes them feel threatened because they know that if they open that Pandora's box themselves, it will be uncomfortable for them. It's denial & projection and has nothing to do with you.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch β’ No registration required β’ HD streaming
Testosterone really will steal your hips while you're not looking, stay safe everyone
Status report 2 years 2 months & 22 days on T:
Facial hair? I wish.
Back hair? It's getting there.
Ankles to chest? One big connected patch of hair.
Head? Still full of hair π