#gaugau

Name: Gaugau

Debut: Wario Land: Super Mario Land 3

Goodness! I haven’t posted here in over a month, I’m sorry, everyone! A lot going on with me, now that I have an actual job, and also because my brain has been fully occupied by the fact that a new Wayside School book is coming out tomorrow. Consider it free advertising, HarperCollins!

Anyway, where was I? What was I? Who was I? Oh right! Mod Hooligon of Peculiar Mario Baddies Dot Neocities Dot Edu! Right! While I was gone doing whatever I was doing, I missed all of Rat Week. I meant to make a post, but I just... forgot! And by the time I was going to, it was over!

To be honest, I found this guy by searching “Rat” on the Mario Wiki and seeing where it took me. They’ve changed the redirect since, now leading to Sewer Rat, which is a much better rat at being a rat than this guy! That snout, those ears, this is 15% rat at best! This is almost certainly a wolf. This wolf has no place on the blog during Rat Week.

But it’s not Rat Week so let’s talk about Gaugau! This knife-slinging wolfrat... slings knives! At least, that’s what they did back in Wario Land: Super Mario Land 3. Back in those days, Wario was mortal. While throwing a knife at him nowadays would probably just lead to some hilarious transformation, back in those days it was deadly! You’d make Wario small, then you’d make him lose a life! These pi-rats mean serious business! Er... piwolves?

But by Wario Land II, Wario finally ascended beyond us measly humans and gained immortality of the likes of gods. Needless to say, knives are OUT as a method of killing Wario. Everything is out as a method of killing Wario. So Gaugau had to find the next worst thing for him, which as we know is “losing money.” Instead of throwing knives, they throw bottles, and instead of killing him, he just loses coins! But in the end, isn’t it all the same for Wario? If your only values are your greed, then what does it mean for you when you have no money?