Liam Gallagher, The Joker (2022)

By now, you should've somehow realised what you gotta do

I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now

And backbeat, the word is on the street that the fire in your heart is out

I'm sure you've heard it all before, but you never really had a doubt

I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now

And all the roads we have to walk are winding

And all the lights that lead us there are blinding

There are many things that I would like to say to you

But I don't know how

Because maybe

You're gonna be the one that saves me

And after all

You're my wonderwall

Today was gonna be the day, but they'll never throw it back to you

By now, you should've somehow realised what you're not to do

I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now

And all the roads that lead you there were winding

And all the lights that light the way are blinding

There are many things that I would like to say to you

But I don't know how

I said, "Maybe

You're gonna be the one that saves me

And after all

You're my wonderwall"

I said, "Maybe (I said maybe)

You're gonna be the one that saves me

And after all

You're my wonderwall"

I said, "Maybe (I said maybe)

You're gonna be the one that saves me (saves me)

You're gonna be the one that saves me (saves me)

So imagine this. You're at a small gig venue to listen to your brother perform. Everyone there is local and knows you two as these brothers who regularly get drunk and take drugs and don't really have a job. Everyone knows that he wants to impress you specifically. Everyone there is probably a friend or acquaintance and watching you.

He's not bad and you secretly think that he's cool and good-looking and stylish. But you're a bit of a cunt and won't let him know. So he's there on the stage and singing to you like "this one's for you Noely!" and everyone knows it. Then he starts with "Take me when I'm young and true, was it me or was it you" and you're like oh shit but he just continues "Take me when I'm not so strong, why has it taken you so long?". Well, it won't get worse than this you think only to hear him sing "Take me if you think I'm sweet, though my life feels incomplete. Take me when I wish to live, for I still have this to give". There's not enough alcohol to drown out this. Well, at least now it can't get worse but he's already started on "Take me ‘cause I’m feeling old, all my life I’ve been so cold" and you think it's finally over, we're back on normal terrain only for him to agonizedly belt out "Take me when I start to cry. Take me, take me don't ask why". And you just have to stand there like nothing's wrong.

Afterwards you say "Your music's shite but I'll join and write the lyrics. Actually I already have a tune for us". And then you record a song that basically says you're trying to hide your feelings but I know and we gotta lock the doors because nobody can find out. Now get down on the floor. You call it "Lock all the doors", a very appropriate and normal title, it's in the text. But that's not good enough you say. One title is not enough, we need a second one you say. And then you name it "Sister Lover". You don't have a sister but you insinuate in interviews that your brother is girly. It's jail for you.

And Bonehead, Guigsy and Tony are just there, experiencing this all in real time and thankfully for you not calling the police.