#petrellicest

one of my favorite aspects of peter's super-amnesia being instantly cured by hearing nathan's name (moment of silence to reflect on such a bold display of soulmate magic................................................................................................................................................................................................................amen) and his resulting flood of memories of nathan is that one of them isn't even a memory of nathan, it's a memory of a dream peter had about nathan . . . which is just as real, and in many ways the realest, bc peter's subconscious perception of nathan is much closer to the truth than the Nathan™ that nathan is trying to be, and by extension more vulnerable about the intensity of his feelings for peter, which nathan is rarely able to express and peter is rarely able to believe on a conscious level ANYWAYSSSS point being i love how all the details of that scene emphasize the underlying emotions over the surface level state of their relationship, and how this ties into the rest of s2's consistent (& deeply unsubtle) framing of their relationship as romantic. nathan's behavior in the wake of peter's disappearance which reads in every conceivable way as the coping mechanisms of a grieving widow. repeated suggestions from the ppl in amnesiac!peter's orbit that he has a girlfriend back home who's looking for him, meanwhile nathan is the one back home looking for him. their wedding photo, which frequently and invariably highlights the significance + ambiguous nature of their relationship but is given extra weight in this context bc we're specifically primed to think of this item as a symbol of romantic devotion prior to its reveal ("maybe there's a love letter in there"). peter being torn btwn caitlin and the deeply buried memory of nathan, punctuated by peter kissing caitlin with one hand touching her face and his other hand in a death grip on the mystery box containing the wedding photo + his means to find his way home. peter being told to think about what matters most to him and immediately taking their wedding photo out of his pocket bc he may not know but he fucking Knows!!!! his name is nathan!!!!!!!

nathan so easily n frequently telling peter that he loves him + all the fucking pda really highlights the ways in which he does exercise restraint with him bc you can't write it off as nathan being stoic/distant in general. he's clearly comfortable (and/or unable to refrain from) engaging with peter in a very cozy intimate way (reallyy skirting the boundaries of brotherly conduct...often stepping over the line in a major way....i digress) but there's still so much more to their relationship that he feels the need to keep in check, that he can only bear to acknowledge when directly confronted by the possibility of the two of them being separated by death which is infinitely more terrifying (but also freeing in a way) than the vulnerability of being honest. "i don't know who i am without you" and "you go, i go" and all that. and the ✨️treehouse scene✨️ being the perfect example of how much he suppresses this shit bc, as revealing as it is, it's still a pretty oblique half-confession. you only get a sense of the transcendent incestuous goings-on by reading btwn the lines of the details he does share, how fucking tortured he is when he's talking about it, the fact that he IS talking about it Of All The Places To Go in that moment, etc etc......Anyways. just crazy how unsubtle he is and yet the effort he puts into playing it cool is soooo palpable. lol. let's all kill ourselves

I think in post-canon Nathan lives somehow au (which I enjoy dabbling in despite being the tragedy lover) there needs to be a real Reckoning for Peter as he realises just what a huge unstable needy insecure mentally ill mess Nathan is and just how close he actually is to collapse and honestly I think once Peter actually engaged with that and not with the idealised version of Nathan he has constructed, it would break his heart, he would put his all into protecting Nathan and taking care of him the way Nathan has protected him. But he would need to Engage with that first and I feel like there’s something so juicy about the concept. Yeah babe the man you love is a huge mess

the treehouse is soooo conceptually perfect. an elevated structure serving as thee pivotal jumping-off point (pun intended) for peter and nathan's transgressive relationship, which is consistently represented by liminal states of being on the edge, falling, flying.. the crossing of familial boundaries inside of an imitation of a domestic structure which originated as a childhood playhouse. the paradox of being securely held at a precarious height, existing on a threshold while simultaneously safe + grounded. the escapist fantasy of it all. the tension btwn civilization/control and untamed nature. the stark contrast btwn nathan's very public stifling life in the city and this private space in nature that he's desperately longing to get back to "of all the places to go." the mystical connotations of trees as a bridge btwn earth and heaven and how that connects to their soulmatism. a little sanctuary built by the two of them, for the two of them!! and it's the most important place in the world!!!!!! TREEHOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

luv how early-show Peter is big eyes cuteys uke sweet little bro like Nathan help me I am but a baby boy 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 then you start to get some more insight into what a mess Nathan is and by the end he’s a trembling broken mess of a person who the vastly more stable and competent (somehow) Peter needs to like gently hold and put back together lest he collapse like a fragile porcelain bird

Something Happened in the treehouse when Peter was ~16 and Nathan got him drunk and got himself drunk and let down his guard way too much and to Peter it was everything he'd ever wanted and a romantic dream come true and to Nathan it was the worst transgression he'd ever committed in his lifelong commitment to keep his precious baby boy safe and it Haunts him and the day after he insisted nothing happened nothing ever happened and Peter's memory was too hazy to really be sure but now Peter's 26 and he just wants Nathan to admit, to ADMIT that Something Happened and then, idk, then they can Be Together if Nathan would just stop being In Denial and now he's standing on the edges of rooftops threatening to throw himself off unless Nathan admits that it's real and Nathan tells him to stop, that they've Done This Before, and doesn't this all feel familiar