#petrellicest

nathan so easily n frequently telling peter that he loves him + all the fucking pda really highlights the ways in which he does exercise restraint with him bc you can't write it off as nathan being stoic/distant in general. he's clearly comfortable (and/or unable to refrain from) engaging with peter in a very cozy intimate way (reallyy skirting the boundaries of brotherly conduct...often stepping over the line in a major way....i digress) but there's still so much more to their relationship that he feels the need to keep in check, that he can only bear to acknowledge when directly confronted by the possibility of the two of them being separated by death which is infinitely more terrifying (but also freeing in a way) than the vulnerability of being honest. "i don't know who i am without you" and "you go, i go" and all that. and the ✨️treehouse scene✨️ being the perfect example of how much he suppresses this shit bc, as revealing as it is, it's still a pretty oblique half-confession. you only get a sense of the transcendent incestuous goings-on by reading btwn the lines of the details he does share, how fucking tortured he is when he's talking about it, the fact that he IS talking about it Of All The Places To Go in that moment, etc etc......Anyways. just crazy how unsubtle he is and yet the effort he puts into playing it cool is soooo palpable. lol. let's all kill ourselves

I think in post-canon Nathan lives somehow au (which I enjoy dabbling in despite being the tragedy lover) there needs to be a real Reckoning for Peter as he realises just what a huge unstable needy insecure mentally ill mess Nathan is and just how close he actually is to collapse and honestly I think once Peter actually engaged with that and not with the idealised version of Nathan he has constructed, it would break his heart, he would put his all into protecting Nathan and taking care of him the way Nathan has protected him. But he would need to Engage with that first and I feel like there’s something so juicy about the concept. Yeah babe the man you love is a huge mess

the treehouse is soooo conceptually perfect. an elevated structure serving as thee pivotal jumping-off point (pun intended) for peter and nathan's transgressive relationship, which is consistently represented by liminal states of being on the edge, falling, flying.. the crossing of familial boundaries inside of an imitation of a domestic structure which originated as a childhood playhouse. the paradox of being securely held at a precarious height, existing on a threshold while simultaneously safe + grounded. the escapist fantasy of it all. the tension btwn civilization/control and untamed nature. the stark contrast btwn nathan's very public stifling life in the city and this private space in nature that he's desperately longing to get back to "of all the places to go." the mystical connotations of trees as a bridge btwn earth and heaven and how that connects to their soulmatism. a little sanctuary built by the two of them, for the two of them!! and it's the most important place in the world!!!!!! TREEHOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

luv how early-show Peter is big eyes cuteys uke sweet little bro like Nathan help me I am but a baby boy 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 then you start to get some more insight into what a mess Nathan is and by the end he’s a trembling broken mess of a person who the vastly more stable and competent (somehow) Peter needs to like gently hold and put back together lest he collapse like a fragile porcelain bird

Something Happened in the treehouse when Peter was ~16 and Nathan got him drunk and got himself drunk and let down his guard way too much and to Peter it was everything he'd ever wanted and a romantic dream come true and to Nathan it was the worst transgression he'd ever committed in his lifelong commitment to keep his precious baby boy safe and it Haunts him and the day after he insisted nothing happened nothing ever happened and Peter's memory was too hazy to really be sure but now Peter's 26 and he just wants Nathan to admit, to ADMIT that Something Happened and then, idk, then they can Be Together if Nathan would just stop being In Denial and now he's standing on the edges of rooftops threatening to throw himself off unless Nathan admits that it's real and Nathan tells him to stop, that they've Done This Before, and doesn't this all feel familiar

the way that peter has two (2) non-nathan love interests and with the first one his idea of flirting with her is to posit a scenario in which the two of them r siblings and with the second one their first kiss happens like two mins after her brother tells peter "you're family" . . . ok man

i will never get over petrellicest resurrective true love's kiss™ and how aggressively it underscores the show's pro-incest thesis. they said peter and nathan's love supersedes the natural order i said oh i'm sure