#gaaaaaaaaaaah

All of the villains go to school together. They’re buds, and they’re complete opposites of their book counterparts. Because I thought it’d be funny to make Chameleon and Whirlpool besties, same with Darkstalker and Albatross.

And during this school year, Chameleon gets a scroll and a pen as a gift and he starts drawing like all of his other entities in the books, but as these dragons he made up. And those entities start following him around as his reflection and start talking to him in his head to warn him about what’s going to happen.

That is a lie; I do not. I do not make sense to myself and that makes sense to me. I am okay with being nonsensical with myself, but it sickens me to think I am that way with any other breathing being. I want nothing more than to be the me in my head, with others.

I want to be free enough to feel what I feel and to talk about it with no shame, because all I ever feel is shame. I have clogged myself up with no reason for it, and I don’t have the manual on how to fix it.

I don’t like writing about smoking cigarettes anymore; I’ve smoked four today. I have developed far too strong of a liking for the way the smoke fills my lungs and my vision. When my brain is finally quiet and resting.

藏色散人。the sanren part is fine. it’s one of those not-of-this-world/free spirited wander type things. But to be titled with “藏色”, I feel like she had to be smokin' hot.

藏 - to hide/conceal

色 - colors as in 色彩. But also countenance (like your face/expression. e.g. 怒色) and beauty (姿色). 

So her name is basically hiding her face or hiding her colors. In either way, I want to interpret it as hiding her beauty. I feel like BSSR saw the child, raised the child, and realized she would end up causing a lot of problems with her face alone. And so BSSR bestowed the name on CSSR in hopes that it would help guide her when she joined humanity. 

We know WWX is supposed to be super attractive. That’s why he was ranked 4th on the list of eligible bachelors without being in the direct line of succession in a sect. I would also like to propose his mom was even more attractive and a total gremlin. 

Think about how hard JFM fell for CSSR! To the point that YZY cannot see WWX and not see CSSR! and then take her jealousy out on WWX! 

and think about LQR’s reaction to her. How in the WORLD did she get away shaving his beard? (i don’t know why but when I first heard LXC talk about LQR’s beard’s mishap I assumed she lit it on fire. I actually like the version in my  head more.) And then in CQL after LWJ and WWX get drunk, remember what LQR said? “Don’t think just because your mom is -- ” and then he stops himself. 

I REALLY wanted more about this! LQR had STRONG feelings towards CSSR! And they weren’t simply “How dare she ruin my beard!” Also, what does this mean in terms of LWJ and LXC’s parents? Do you ever wonder how LQR feels about his brother imprisoning LWJ and LXC’s mom? Do you ever wonder if he thinks about CSSR when he sees his sister in law? Do you ever wonder if he misses what he thinks might’ve been?