I guess I'm where I supposed to be
Something strange but beautiful is happening. I am overcoming anxiety. Or at least, I am managing it most of the time.
This period of uncertainty is difficult and I wouldn't have chosen it voluntarily, but perhaps I am exactly where I need to be. I have always struggled with low self-esteem; I am a people pleaser, and all my achievements have always been dedicated to others or done for others (especially my mother).
So losing my job meant feeling my worth diminish because I had tied my self-esteem to an external factor. Now I am working to turn the situation around.
My skills, my value, and my self-esteem must be something autonomous. I am lucky because I am surrounded by friends (and my girlfriend) who constantly affirm that I am valuable for who I am and love me for who I am.
They loved and respected me when I did a more "humble" job in a store just as much as when I became a Senior in a corporate role with a good salary.
Now, the next step is to internalize this truth and accept that, for now, it is better not to address the issue with my parents because it would upset them and me.
Meditation and positive affirmations are working; I feel increasingly confident in myself.
I am reprogramming my brain to have confidence in the future, to trust in my abilities, and at the same time, to trust in the universe, in this force that is within me and everyone and above all, that ultimately helps us find our way when needed.
I am sure that one day I will look back and think of this period, which initially seemed like the end of the world, as something precious that allowed me to grow, understand myself, and face life even better.
