#funny maps

A precise map of a polar vortex / bomb cyclone (aka the forecast for this Friday)

Such a simple plan, right? It’s only a couple of hours away. A bit longer since Boston isn’t quite a hub and Madison is distinctly second-tier so we’ll have to deal with a layover somewhere. And that’s how I’m writing this from a hotel in New Jersey on the first night we were supposed to be in Wisconsin. For those not overly familiar with US geography, here’s a map.

So, how did we get here. Apparently there was something wrong with one of the air pressure units. And something else wrong with some paperwork. So we were late leaving the gate, then we came back to a different gate, then we left again, then we came back to a gods-damned third gate, finally getting into the air approximately three hours later than we were supposed to. For a one-hour flight. We blew our first connection, then the second one that they’d automatically rescheduled me for, then ... oh, here’s the kicker.

The customer service line at Newark airport was so long and so slow that we blew through the third and last connection of the night while in line.

To United’s credit, they did try to “make it good” by paying for us to stay tonight in a hotel, plus a Lyft ride there (but not back in the morning). And that brings me to the final bit of fun. Where’s the hotel?

They claim that everything closer was booked up. I suspect that everything closer was more expensive (even with the Lyft fare). But hey, at least it’s not coming out of my pocket. Also, “not fucking Newark” is something usually said to condemn Newark itself - not the alternative. When Newark would have been an improvement, it’s time to reevaluate life choices.

Current schedule gets us to Madison only 18 hours late ... for what was supposed to be a 48-hour visit. Oh, and that’s where we reunite with our luggage, which we currently do not have for the night. Fun. So, two thoughts keep running through my head.

I’m glad we didn’t bring my wife on this trip. She would have gone Full Metal Karen by now, for sure, and it wouldn’t have helped.

I’m even gladder that we didn’t send dear daughter on her own. This is expert mode even for me. She probably would have melted and never wanted to travel again.

Atlas of Prejudice: Europe According to Serbia

informative, good

strangely threatening

cool freakin dragon, this person knew what the people wanted

the alt reality we need

where I’m moving