#ftm changes

so i have been absent from tumblr for a while so id thought id give an update on everything i have experienced on t. i’m just gonna kinda start from the emotions then go onto body. I am 8 months on t. I do IM shots every 2 weeks

emotions: for the first id say 3 months i went through this weird period where i started feeling emotions differently. where as before when i got irritated or angry it wasn't something i felt in my body. now when i get angry it's like i can feel my blood pressure going up and i tend to stay angry or irritated longer. i’m more likely to feel emotions in my body more than i was before if that makes sense. other then that i stayed the same. i feel more calm now and more confident now that i am on hormones and i am being seen as me more. i am less depressed and less anxious and my mental health has gone way up.i’m happier and less jealous at people who have cis-gendered bodies. oh and my sex drive is literally through the roof. no joke. my fiance wants to kill me because she says  i act like a 13 year old boy with how much i need sex lol

Physical: so first let me start by saying my first puberty was awful and not just because i was going through what i felt was the wrong puberty. my acne was out of this world bad(i had to take antibiotics my dermatologist prescribed me to clear up the breakouts and even then it didn't get rid of most of the acne i had) and so with starting hrt i was nervous that i would have to go through hell for at least a good 2 years which i was willing to do i just wasn't looking forward to the acne and body aches. but surprisingly this 8 months on t has been going better then i thought it would. so i'll break it down in categories of what has changed

hair: there is hair EVERYWHERE. Like apart from my back, thank god, i look like a bear. I was excited about growing things like a happy trail but i can't really tell what is happy trail and what is belly hair at this point lol i have a decent amount of facial hair. Like dark hair. Not just a mustache but a beard too and while it's still thin and you can see skin underneath its there and you can see it to the point that i need to shave. The hair on my head had grown in a more male pattern but i must have good hair genes because my hair hasn't started balding like so many trans men go through. Though my legs are growing hair weird in that on the front of my calves and knees i have tons but on the sides it's just starting to grow in. my thighs are also just starting to grow dense hair but my hair on my legs has always been weird where it grows in some areas and stays smooth in others.

Body/face: so my body fat has actually just started shifting and i have noticed my stomach becoming more flat, still chubby, but less rounded. My hips have also started to go away. My legs have really shed fat and while there is still some fat there i can tell where the muscle starts on my thighs. Now i do weight lift and am doing a lean bulk right now so i have been putting on muscle which has always been easy for me. But i have noticed it's easier for me to reach new PR’s and when i begrudgingly do cardio it's easier for me to go for longer times than before t. I very much look like i'm on my way to looking like a power-lifter with definite muscles but not shredded and still on the stocky side which is better than before where i had hips and more feminine thighs. Also my chest has gotten flatter and easier to bind. Its not smaller per say but i'll take it looking flatter to it getting smaller rather than my chest staying the same. Also i grew an inch which is strange since i'm 22 and haven't grow since 8th grade. My shoulders have broadened and the roundness in my face has leaned out. and while i have acne, its nowhere near as bad as i had before. i actually thing my acne has cleared up a bit since starting t. also my face isn't as oily as i thought it would be but still i am following a strict face regiment so that if it does start to break out it wont be so bad. Each day i like my body a little more.

bottom growth: this is the only thing i really don't like and that's because i haven't gotten a lot of bottom growth. Maybe half an inch. My doctor say this could just take longer or it could be genetics. I know i could try to use dht but with so many men saying that they lose hair after using it, i'd rather just wait it out. Plus i pack and i really don't find that i think about it most of the time because i pack. Yes when i focus on that part of my transition i am not happy with it but when i look at the big picture and all the other changes, it doesn't bother me. It might have more if i didn't pack.

Voice: so my voice has been gradually dropping since around 4 months. First it started with my singing voice dropping and i was able to hit the lower male pitches but my talking voice seem to stay the same. Around 6 months my throat started to hurt almost everyday and i was chugging water to keep it hydrated. Now at 8 months the cracking and squeaking is in full swing and my voice sounds like a rough version of a cali surfer dude lol but i am sir a lot more so i am more than ok with cracking if it makes people call me the right pronouns!

Appetite: i am never not hungry. Literally i am hungry right now as i write this. I have tried to help this and to make sure i don't over eat or under eat by making my lunches every Sunday so all i have to do is reach into the fridge and grab it. Also i drink a protein smoothie every morning for breakfast and for dinner i eat only turkey, chicken, or fish with a veggie side and a whole grain carb side. For snacks i try to eat oatmeal or Greek yogurt or a quest bar. This has really helped curb my hunger and make sure i'm not eating shit and not just eating anything i can get my hands on. Knowing what i eat everyday helps keep me healthy.