#ft. cass

Two weeks had passed since Alex’s eventful arrival to Redwood. Things had calmed down once again for the most part. For him, at least. There was no telling what Cass was up to. She had managed to not get into any trouble while they were at the ranch during that first year of the outbreak, but it had just been them and their parents and Nate. Not much she could do with that. There were people in Redwood, and he was certain that Cass would be able to work her magic with them as she would any other group before the virus.

As for Alex, well... it was lonely in Redwood. And he missed Iris. More than he thought he would. Obviously he was happy to have Cass back, and he had talked to a few people during his time so far. It was hard being in a new place with all new people. He didn’t want to miss Iris. Iris had been a godsave during a time when he needed it most, but he couldn’t stay there. He never should’ve stayed long term. It meant that he had gotten too close and now it hurt knowing he would never see any of the people he loved ever again. 

Alex had thought he and Cass would spend hours and hours talking and catching up once he was settled in, but the two siblings had stayed relatively silent. Neither of them knew much about what had happened to the other while they were apart. Most of their conversations had been about the here-and-now. Alex knew most of it was his own fault - he had been distant as he acclimated to Redwood, and his relationship with Cass had suffered because of it. As much as he wanted their relationship to be fixed and go back to where it had been before Nate’s death and his kidnapping, there was a divide between them whether he liked it or not.

Part of it was the feeling that he had betrayed Cass in Iris. He had convinced himself that his life was now only worth living for others, yet he had found himself happy in Iris. Happy without her. Not happy because she wasn’t there, of course, but the fact that he could be happy without her.... There was a lot he never planned on telling her, which sucked. He didn’t like feeling like he was keeping secrets. But he didn’t want to start an argument and have her try to convince him otherwise with some of his current thinking. She would be upset that he felt he was living for her (and now Renee and the boys), not for himself. She would say that there was still hope, that he would find happiness, that things would work out in the end. At this point, he didn’t care if it was true. He didn’t want to hear it. He had been happy in Iris, and he had given it up to find her.

Cass would feel responsible if she ever found that out, like she had been the reason he had given up his life in Iris. And, to be fair, she was the reason, but it had been his choice. Cass hadn’t forced him to leave. How could he get her to understand that it hadn’t been a choice? Yes, he had been happy in Iris, but... he couldn’t explain it. Iris had given him a reason to live, but Cass was his reason to survive. And if the virus had taught him anything about humanity, it was that survival came before anything else. Every time.

Alex swallowed and forced his head up from the bed. Alone, as he probably always would be in Redwood. He turned to put his feet onto the floor and drink a few sips from the water bottle he kept on his new bedside table. Another nightmare, thought not as bad as it could’ve been. He couldn’t remember what had happened, but the anxiety in the pit of his stomach remained. He got up from his bed and padded into the living room of the farmhouse. Cass sat in the recliner. “Morning,” he greeted. “Sleep okay?”

After Alex dropped Paloma off at Mariana's, he went back to the ranch, texting Cass that he would be back in 15 minutes or so. He parked his truck in the driveway and hopped out. Alex had been fine giving Paloma her space. He hated that he wasn't able to comfort her since he had been the one who had caused the problem in the first place. Hopefully Paloma could at least come to a mental place she was comfortable enough to talk to him. Cass was in front of her house, clearing out some of the debris that had fell in the yard. He gave her a small smile when she saw him, giving her a hug and kiss on the temple. "Hey. Sorry I wasn't able to explain much on the phone, I know you've probably been worryin' the past couple of days. I picked up some food if you're hungry?" he offered, the 'can we talk?' being implied.

@cassandrabrookes​

ever since they could walk, cam and cass had always been there for each other. when cam fell off his bike and scraped his knee, cass was the one who helped him home and got him a bandaid. when cass went through her first breakup, cam had stayed home from school with her the next day, sitting at the foot of her bed while she was curled up there, crying on and off. and, when their stepfather had died, they took turns breaking down, because they didn’t know how to function if they weren’t able to lean on the other. so, as soon as cam learned that libby, cass’s roommate, was one of those missing, he all but ran to cass’s villa. 

it didn’t help that he’d been meaning to talk to her for a few days, ever since that night with sutton. when it became apparent that there was something big he’d need to tell her. obviously, she was the one he would need to come out to first, because he knew, down to his core, that cass would love him no matter what. but first, there was a more pressing matter that needed to be addressed. by the time he turned up on her porch, cam was nearly wheezing, and a tad too sweaty for comfort. “cass,” he pulled his twin into a hug as soon as he saw her, and said into her shoulder, “i heard about libby. god, i’m so sorry.” he pulled back, and hunched over immediately, still trying to catch his breath. “sorry, i ran here from the math building,” his expression pinched as he felt a cramp spreading up his abdomen. “and i have my chaos and fractals textbook in my bag.” which just so happened to be his biggest textbook.

Cici had already been tacked up from early in the day, leaving Alex to spend some time brushing her while he waited for his sister. A few minutes later and he saw Cass coming through the door to the stables. “At last. Blessing us with her presence,” he teased. Once Zodiac was tacked up the two began their ride, winding along the trail. He glanced over to Cass and gave her a smile. The past weeks had been stressful. Though it was nothing compared to what Cass was going through, Alex still felt more tired and lonely and off more than usual. It surprised him that for whatever reason he was in a better mood than he had been in quite a while. “You doin’ alright? Niko didn’t give you too much trouble?”

@cassandrabrookes