...

Cass couldn’t help the small frown that crossed her face or the way her brow furrowed at his words. She was glad Paloma had someone, too, but that someone should have been Alex. If he wasn’t with Paloma during this point in time, she knew without a doubt that it was Paloma’s choice, not his. Still, she kept her thoughts to herself no matter how loud. This was between Alex and Paloma. Something she just had to keep reminding herself of. 

“Maybe it’s somethin’ you should start looking into? There’s nothin’ saying you can’t renovate or add on later if you realize you want something different.” The stables weren’t going to make him a rich man, but it wasn’t like their parents or Cass herself wouldn’t chip in if he needed something. Hell, Cass would pay for his whole house if she thought he would let her. “You also don’t have to rush into it. You know the guest house is still yours as long as you want it. Once it gets fixed up, too, anyway.” Even if there were no sides in all of this, she had meant it when she said he would get whatever support from her that he needed. 

While Cass wasn’t quite ready to shift topics, she could tell Alex wanted out of his own head for awhile, so she shrugged in response. “Good. Really good, actually. Therapy seems to be helpin’ him a lot more than either of us anticipated. It’s kind of weird that I’m going to be living at his place full time, even if I did spend half my time there anyway. Hasn’t been much to miss though. He’s been busy at work helping with clean up all over town, plus trying to keep tabs on all his family. We’ve kind of put off any of the wedding planning for now, which is fine by us. Neither one of us needs something huge and fancy. I did want to ask though… Would you be my ‘man’ of honor?”

Part of Alex desperately wanted to ask what Cass was thinking, because there was no way he could get a decent grip on what was happening at the moment. He needed someone who was at least not quite as personally involved in the situation. He was so lost on what to do. If he had thought waiting to get the DNA test back after Anna had cheated was difficult, it was nothing compared to the torture this was. His stomach wouldn't stop churning. "Alright. I'll think about it," he said, though he doubted he would anytime soon. The only scenario where he would included Paloma keeping the baby and agreeing to live with him on the property as well. He knew Cass was only trying to help. 

Alex felt there wasn't much to say on the pregnancy topic anymore, and he was happy to switch gears. If nothing else was going right in his life, he was glad to know that Cass was happy. "I'm glad everything's goin' good." He gave Cass a small smile. Cass asked her question. Despite everything, his small smile turned into a wide grin. "I guess I can clear my schedule to fit it in," he teased. "Although I'm not sure how well I'll be able to do all the traditional 'duties'.  You might wanna hire someone else to plan your bachelorette party. And I can't pull off dresses very well."

The fear was understandable. Pregnancy was life changing for all involved, and she was pretty certain that even planned pregnancies caused more than their fair share of fear in people. The thought of Paloma dumping Alex over this honestly hadn’t even crossed Cass’s mind. Why would it? Of everyone she knew, Alex was the best man for Paloma to have by her side through all of this. He was a genuinely good man who would support her, and he would be an amazing father. Cass’s eyebrows raised in surprise at the revelation that already Paloma had shared more about herself with Alex than she had with Cass, though it made sense. Hearing that only confirmed that gut feeling she had about the likelihood of Paloma keeping the baby. “I know there aren’t, but I just want you to know that you have my support, no matter what.” It wouldn’t be a choice, not in her opinion. Alex was her brother. Of course Paloma would have her love and support as well, but it was still different. And if she was honest, it would take awhile for Cass to move past it if Paloma broke Alex’s heart. “You said she’s staying with her cousin for the time being?”

It would be a good idea to know where her friend was staying, because it seemed likely that this would be one of those times that she would have to go to Paloma to show her support for her friend. Cass let her eyes move across the horizon, and even though she couldn’t see the empty plots of land at the edge of the property, she could imagine them in her mind. “Y'know… The guys working on the house are good. And quick. Have you thought much about a layout for your own place?” There was no telling how long it would take for Paloma’s place to be cleaned up and rebuilt, but Cass was willing to bet money that this crew would be able to build a house from scratch on less time. She had already gotten all the permits and paperwork taken care of to be able to build on any of the empty plots, so it would really just be a matter of Alex choosing where he wanted to build before a crew could begin construction. She knew he would have planned to take his time with his house, but Cass also knew he would want to be able to support Paloma through all of this.

"Yeah. I'm glad she had someone with her for the time being." Paloma might want to be alone, but Alex didn't want her to be alone. If he couldn't be there to comfort her if she needed it, he was happy that Mariana was. Paloma needed the support even if she didn't believe it herself. There was already too much on her plate, and now this. 

Alex shrugged. "Not really. I hadn't had the time since the hurricane, and now.... If Paloma does keep the baby I don't know what the living situation will be like in a few months." Perhaps Alex had settled more on the idea of her terminating the pregnancy than he had thought. It felt impossible to imagine what would happen if she kept the baby. They would be parents. The best case scenario was Paloma kept the baby and decided she still wanted to be with him. He understood wanting to take it slow, but he would hate not to live together, at least by the time the baby was born if not earlier. He didn't mind not sharing a room or bed, but he wanted to be there. Alex wanted to be with Paloma, but ultimately their baby came first if Paloma went through with the pregnancy. Not living in the same space with his child was unfathomable. There were few things Alex would fight Paloma on, but he refused to not live together with the baby. Even if Paloma refused, he could still get half custody. God, the thought was awful. He didn't want half custody. He didn't want any of this bullshit where he felt like Paloma didn't want him or their child. More than anything, he wanted this to be a good thing. For himself, for Paloma, for their relationship. 

Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, he looked back to his sister. "So what have I missed? You and Niko doin' okay?"

Brayden was thankful for Alex bringing up something other than what a total fuck up he was. It was all anyone wanted to talk to him about these days, what a mistake he’d made and how hard things were gonna be now. He knew what he’d done and who he’d screwed in the process. “Well I’m glad you and Cass are alright. Everything else can be rebuilt but lives can’t be replaced.” He leaned back in his chair and rubbed at the back of his neck with a sigh. “It’s gotta work out. I hear you saying it isn’t the end but…if I don’t get my life in order then it kind of is for me. If I don’t figure things out and get clean for good then I don’t have much left for me here…or anywhere.”

“Amen to that. Guess all this puts everything in perspective.” One moment he was meeting Paloma’s parents and thinking about how he was going to get along with them, and in the blink of an eye they were gone. He knew he was lucky that he hadn’t lost anything of true value in the storm. “All I’m saying is even if this one thing doesn’t work out, it isn’t the end. You shouldn’t give up even if you end up relapsing somewhere down the line - not that I’m saying you will. I can’t promise you’ll get forgiveness from everyone or anything like that, but even if you don’t that doesn’t mean you should just give up and accept things for how they are. No matter how many times it takes, you have the chance to get back up.” Of course Alex wanted things to go well the first time, but on the chance they didn’t he didn’t want Brayden to give up immediately.

“No! It’s okay.” She took a step forward but didn’t reach for him just yet. She wanted him to know that she wasn’t going to harbor any ill feelings towards him because she loved him. Even if she wasn’t willing to admit that to herself or to him so quickly. Plus, she was pregnant so part of it could have been the heightened hormones. Holy fuck she was pregnant! “This is the second time I hear you, Alex Brookes, call yourself an idiot. Let’s hope it doesn’t happen again.” At least not any time soon. She looked at him with a fondness she had only for the shaggy-haired man in front of her despite her words. He explained his feelings away and none of it was a surprise because she had figured as much. Having an unplanned child was a big step to take and she knew even back then that she shouldn’t have expected anything more than what he gave her. In fact, Alex had been wonderful this entire time. He had given her the support she needed and time to think things through. It was more than she could have asked for from anyone, but he wasn’t just anyone. Not to her. Not at all. That thought made her smile. 

 A comfortable but expectant silence filled the room when Alex stood and closed the space between the two. She let her cheek fall into his hand when he held her. In a matter of months, the man in front of her had become his happy place. There was an audible gasp in the room when he confessed what he had been feeling. Paloma blinked a couple of times, taken aback by the confidence in Alex’s statement. But no, she didn’t say it back because like everything else in her life, she needed time to think about the commitment those three little words meant. She knew Alex enough to know he would understand. She felt it too, she loved him, but feeling those things and wishing them into existence were two different ball games. She let a hand fall softly on his chest. “I think we come in one speed."She leaned up on her tiptoes and pressed a kiss on his lips, it was soft at first and then more passionate and filled with excitement she never knew existed. "I can’t believe we’re doing this!” Paloma wrapped her arms around him, throwing herself into his arms in a hug. “We should celebrate! What are you feeling? Oh god, I feel like puking.” She said, still hugging him. “But in a good way!” She would thank him more properly later, maybe write him a letter or something. 

He smiled sheepishly. While he knew she meant it in a teasing manner, he did feel bad that he hadn’t been thinking clearly enough to understand her and their relationship. “I’ll try. Maybe if you spared a little intelligence for the rest of us it would be easier,” he laughed. Alex waited nervously to see her reaction at his use of the L word. He didn’t need her to say it back. The fact that she was here with him, that she wanted this baby with him, meant the world. Even if she didn’t feel like she was in love with him yet, her actions spoke louder than her words. He promised to himself to show her how much this meant to him.

Paloma kissed him, and he eagerly returned the kiss. His hands drifted to her waist where his thumbs ran over the flat skin of her stomach. It wouldn’t be flat for too much longer. Holy shit. They were going to have a baby. They were going to be parents. She threw her arms around him and picked her up off the ground a couple of inches to kiss her before setting her back down again. “What do you mean, what am I feeling? I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy... ever. These past few days have been so crazy and now this. I don’t know how long it will take to sink it. God, we’re going to be parents. We’re having a baby.” Alex’s grin couldn’t get much wider than it already was. There was so much to think and talk about. All the things to get settled before the baby arrived. They still had several months to think about everything, so for now he felt it was okay to be happy and live in the moment. To try and wrap his brain around the fact that he was going to be a father. The one thing he had wanted more than anything in the world. It terrified him that their relationship was still so new and fragile, but he would go to the ends of the earth to make it work with her. Not just for their baby, but for the both of them. “So what do you want to do to celebrate? Think big. I will personally drive you to anywhere within a three hour radius.”

Mariana didn’t really have any friends who were likely to visit her at home, not yet anyway, so the knock on her door was surprising and the person on the other side of it made her smile as she realized the opportunity she had right now. “Hi Alex.” Mariana put a hand on her hip and cocked her head to the side as she smiled up at him. “She’s not here, went into work to do some paperwork I think. But come in, I’m hungry and I have a lot I want to know about you, Mr. Brookes.” She stepped aside to let him in and closed the door behind him, making her way into the kitchen. “You want a drink before or after your interrogation?”

“Oh. Uh, okay,” he said, prepared to drop the food off for Paloma to eat later, but Mariana was inviting him inside before he could do anything. While he would’ve preferred a bit more warning if he was going to have to talk to Paloma’s cousin, he didn’t mind doing so. The only problem was how much he wanted to have her approval. He hadn’t cared much about impressing her parents when he had briefly met them before their passing. Mariana was the only family Paloma had left for the most part, and he wanted her to at least tolerate him if not like him. Alex stepped into the apartment and followed her to the kitchen. “I’m guessing both is the wrong answer.” He put the bag on the table and took out the food before taking off his jacket. “I’ll go with before. Hope you like Mediterranean.”

There were more people in Paloma’s corner than ever before. She had the duo with Cass and Niko, the rest of the Vs by extention too. Then there was Samantha who had been a surprising connection derived from a common taste in all things fashion. Mariana, her best and closest confidant because they shared history and blood. Then there was Alex, her cowboy.  Just thinking about him made her heart pang and she’d hated to admit that for a long time. It took a couple of days, but Paloma had finally come to a decision so she mesaged Alex, told Mariana, and drove to the ranch just outside of town. “I do.” She smiled at him, but there was an underlying nervousness beneath. She took his hand and led him to his couch, then pushed down on his shoulders until he sat down but she didn’t follow suit. “Sorry. This feels like a situation where you should be sitting.” She balanced on her feet and toyed with her fingers as she took a step back and looked at him. “I know we’re skipping formalities and all but I really feel like I need to get it out there now, before anything else.” Paloma nodded a couple of times as if to convince herself of it. 

“I want to start off by saying that I don’t want you to feel pressured by anything, but also… I guess that’s a lie. I felt bad at the hospital… when we found out. You know, when a girl finds out she’s pregnant she expects her partner to be happy but you were kinda emotionless and it didn’t help the fact that I was freaking out. Like, at all.” She started talking with her hands again, the nerves getting the best of her. “I don’t blame you though. It’s not like we planned this or like you love me or anything. So, I guess I want to say that I know you want to be supportive or whatever because you’re a good person but if you don’t want this baby I’m not going to make you pay child support.” She laughed at the thought. “I want to keep it, Alex. I don’t know what that means for you and me, but I want this baby. And is my heart breaking at the idea of losing you because of it? A little. But it’ll be okay.” 

Paloma led him over to the couch and sat him down. Alex didn’t mind letting her take the lead. If anything it was kinda cute, and another reminder of how scared he was of losing her. He didn’t say anything so as to let her have the floor and talk as much as she needed to. Her speech left him, well, speechless. Any anger he’d held for her turned into anger for himself, for not realizing what she was thinking. The fact that he let her down killed him and he never wanted to let it happen again. When she said her heart broke at the thought of losing him he nearly broke down. It was a lot to process. She wanted to keep their baby, and she wanted to stay together. It was everything he had hoped for.

Alex took a moment to process, took a deep breath, and spoke. “Shit. I - god. I am so sorry. I’ve been such an idiot.” Again. “I had no idea what to think when we found out. I was trying to be emotionless so I didn’t pressure you into a decision you didn’t want. And more than anything I didn’t want to get attached to the idea of having a baby if you didn’t want to keep it. I know it was selfish. I can’t go through that, though. I don’t know how I would handle it if I thought we were having a baby together and then you didn’t want it.” Alex stood up, making the choice to be bold enough to touch her. All these hours and all he wanted to do was hold her. He cupped her cheek and brushed his thumb over her cheek. “I want you and I want this baby, okay? I know you wanted to try and take things slow and I have been trying so hard to do that. I’ve tried to hold back so I didn’t scare you off by taking things too fast.” Alex paused. Everything felt so fragile, but at the same time he couldn’t hold onto it any longer. “I love you. I know this baby wasn’t planned, but I do love you. You don’t need to say it back or anything. But I want you to know that I want to be there every step of the way. I want a family with you. I want to be a father. I want to be with you. I want all of it. I’m sorry if that’s going too fast, but I need you to know that. I will be by your side every second as long as you let me.”

"No. Yeah, but it’s not a bad thing to know who I am.” She frowned and rolled her eyes, unwilling to talk about it anymore, but Alex had other plans. She had to make the conscious decision to straighten her shoulders out as he started to compliment her. It wasn’t like she was new to flattery, in fact she was well versed with how beautiful she was and how funny and witty people said she was when they finally caught on, but Alex’s words were genuine in a way she wasn’t used to. She could practically feel her heart growing with every word and that couldn’t possibly be a good thing. He had left her speechless, that couldn’t be good either. Maybe she should go see a doctor to explain away her rapid heartbeat, but then she remembered that she was one and that she didn’t want to think about how Alex Brookes made her feel anymore. “Thanks.” Paloma could have palmed herself on the forehead for that one. “Good to know we’re past the hating thing and onto friendship level two, or is it three now since you’re telling me all about our dark and dreary past?” It couldn’t be helped, it was just who she was. Thankfully, Alex agreed to answer all of her questions about his ex-girlfriend. The more he told her about Anna the less she liked her, but the more she understood Alex. Her eyes were growing wider by the minute even though she was trying really hard to make her facial expressions behave, but by the time he got to the pregnancy part they were practically bulging out of their sockets. “Did you just.. laugh?” Paloma was queen of the deadpan right then. “That’s fucking tragic.” She felt horrible for him and wanted to both hug him and tell him that his past was the exact reason she only did hookups, but she did neither.

This was a good time to talk about her own life, to let him know that he wasn’t alone in the sad stuff. But if Paloma did that then she would be forced to remember all of the things she missed out on, the people she lost but never really had, and she would then have to wonder, for the billionth time, what it was about her that made her so easy to leave. It was time to change the subject and also her clothes. She put their plates in the sink and grabbed his hand. “Follow me, Alex. We’re going to turn that frown upside down.” They made it upstairs to her bedroom, another giant room that wasn’t really lived in for more than a couple of hours at night. It was spotless and cold. And Paloma headed straight to her closet. “Here, throw these on.” She tossed him a pair of trunks that she hoped he wouldn’t question and then opened a drawer with her bikinis. “The pool is temperature controlled, but if you don’t know how to swim we could always take the hot tub.” In less than a minute she was stripped down to her underwear. “Don’t just stare, Cowboy. Give me some privacy!” She pushed him out of the closet to change into the little white number.

"I never said it's a bad thing to know who you are. But I do think it's a bad thing when you don't give yourself the credit you should, especially if that keeps you from being happy." Alex was surprised about his little outburst of emotion and flattery. The only thing he was trying to say was that Paloma deserved to be happy. He braced himself for a snide remark or sarcastic comment, but nothing bad came. God, he wanted to know what she was thinking. "I told you at the party you were a solid level two already. I'd say we might already be going onto level four in fact." As if he had actually thought about their relationship in terms of levels. It had just been a silly excuse for him not to dance with her seeing as he was likely the worst dancer in Asteria if not North Carolina. There was something a little funny seeing her expression once he was done telling her about Anna. Plus, it was the only way he felt he could deal with things. To try and forget that it was him who had been in the situation, to pretend like it had been someone else entirely or that he didn't care. He shrugged, not sure what else to say.

Just as Alex thought Paloma might actually reciprocate the whole feelings-outpour, she took his hand and led him upstairs to what he could only assume was her bedroom. It was about as vacant as every other room in the place, without much of her in it. If it weren't for the full closet he would assume it was some sort of guest room. Before he could question anything she threw him a pair of trunks (why the hell did she have trunks?) and told him to change. Alex stood there, dumbstruck, not even realizing she was stripping down until she shouted at him. If it made her feel better, he had been so lost in his own thoughts he hadn't even thought to look at her to his dismay. Trying not to think too hard, Alex stepped out of her room and changed in the hallway, not thinking to worry about anyone coming by. He really didn't want to know where the trunks had come from. Without looking into her bedroom, he turned so his voice would carry towards her. "Um, I'm ready. And I can swim. But either one is fine with me," he rambled, waiting for her to get ready.

It was impossible to stop the waves of emotion that had overcome her, but it wasn’t impossible to keep her focus on Alex. The first thing he said pretty much confirmed her fear that there was a reason he wasn’t over the moon, and while her heart broke for him because she knew what this meant to him, there was also a sudden, deep feeling that Paloma wouldn’t terminate the pregnancy. They may not have talked about kids, but Cass knew her friend’s softer side better than all but a few. Still, she wasn’t going to say anything and possibly get Alex’s hopes up just to have them dashed later because she was wrong. Her lips thinned as he continued but by the end of his words, Cass had set down her food and pulled her big brother into a tight hug. “I know you’re trying to do the right thing, frate, and I love you for it. But this shouldn’t just be her decision.” It wasn’t fair to Alex and she was sure Paloma knew that, but it also wasn’t something Cass was prepared to go on a warpath about. This was between her brother and his girlfriend, and while she would be there for both of them, she couldn’t get in the middle of it. Still, if she was being honest with herself, she was on Alex’s side on this particular matter. “You know I’ve got your back no matter what, right?”

Alex relaxed a bit as he felt his sister's warm embrace, not realizing how much he wanted some sort of physical contact. Obviously he wanted to respect Paloma's wishes in not wanting to be touched, but he was someone who needed that physical bond. He felt tears sting his eyes. "I know," he said. He knew that Paloma wouldn't do anything without his input. Alex broke away from the hug and ran a hand through his hair. "She's scared. I know she is. I am, too, but it's different for her. I would never forgive myself if she kept it for the wrong reasons." Already he might never forgive himself if this ended up ruining their relationship. "We talked about kids, once. Before we got together. How she wanted that - to be a wife and a mom. But she talked about it like it had no possibility of actually happening." A moment he would never forget. It was one of the first times he realized just how much he had misjudged her, and how much more to her there was that he didn't know about. Perhaps, in a way, it was one of the first moments he had started to fall in love with her. He knew that they weren't as different as everyone, himself included, thought. Except they were still different. Paloma wanted to take things slow, which he had been fine with. Now there was this. It was one thing for her to mention wanting to be a mom one day and being forced to make a decision about an unplanned pregnancy. Alex gave Cass a small smile and nodded. "I know. It means a lot. There aren't any sides, okay? I don't want you to have to choose, not that there's anything to choose between anyway. I'm not gonna fight Paloma on whatever decision she chooses."

@marianadelgado​

Finally Alex had received a message that Paloma was going to stop by the ranch so they could talk. He had gotten a good portion of the damage repaired on the guest house and said he would be inside. Though it was a short drive, Alex still hated waiting even those few minutes. At last he heard the doorbell ring and rushed to open it. Paloma stood on the other side. He wasn’t sure what gesture was best. Usually he would kiss her, but he wasn’t sure that was a good idea at the moment. He flashed her a small smile. “Hey. You wanna come in?” She was the one that had the talking to do, so there was little for him to say at the moment.

@paloma-espadas​

Really, the hurricane had uprooted more than just trees. Paloma had lost her parents, and while Cass knew there was really no love lost between them, she still couldn’t imagine it had been easy on her friend. Honestly, she was glad that Paloma had Alex to sort of take care of her. Paloma was far too stubborn - something Cass was all too familiar with herself - to admit when she needed help, but Alex would be a rock for her through everything. In fact, Cass had offered to go to New York with Paloma, but she hadn’t pushed when her friend had said no. 

 She shouldn’t have been surprised that Alex had come prepared with food. Her brother knew her all too well and she hadn’t actually taken a break to eat up until now. The two of them settled in on the porch facing the cleaner part of the yard, and for a moment, Cass could almost pretend nothing had changed. Of course, that did no one any good, so she shook the thought from her mind and turned her attention to Alex after taking a bite of her burger. A bite she nearly choked on when he finally spoke up. Paloma is pregnant. The very first thing she had to contend with was the way her insides twisted up and churned with a very biting feeling of pure jealousy and dull heartache. She and Paloma hadn’t ever talked about children, not really, so even Cass wasn’t entirely sure how her friend would have taken that news. It also had to be a recent discovery, since she was sure Paloma would have already told her otherwise. Finally managing to swallow down the bite of food, she followed it up with a huge swig of water, her eyes still wide when she looked back at Alex. “Wow. That’s… wow. How are you guys feeling about it?” She already knew her brother’s mind. He was a lot like Cass - she knew he would love to have children of his own, so he was probably over the moon… except he didn’t seem like he was feeling that way at all.

Guilt washed over him as he realized who he was talking to. He hadn't even thought about Cass's feelings about her own lack of children, though it wouldn't have stopped him from telling her. She knew he wanted kids as badly as she did, but this wasn't a planned pregnancy. If he could've switched the tables he would. He and Paloma had made one mistake and now they had what Cass wanted. Even with the guilt, he couldn't focus on Cass's feelings too much. Of course he cared, but there wasn't much he could do about it. He had a real pregnancy right here, right now to contend with. "She hasn't decided if she's gonna keep it or not," he answered. The one thing he was certain of was that he couldn't get attached to an idea until Paloma was certain of her decision. Once she had decided he could go from there. "We haven't talked a whole lot." I can feel her shutting me out. "I don't want to want one thing until she decides what she wants for herself. I don't want her to make the decision based on what I want." The reality of the situation felt like it was going to crush him. For the first time he was alone with his thoughts with only Cass next to him. "She said she'll decide soon, so... I guess we'll go from there," he shrugged. The worst part was he felt like no matter what she chose, their relationship might already be over. He didn't know how to deal with that information.

“I don’t know. You tell me.” Elanur countered her own statement before she settled again in the booth, pushing aside her purse. Her eyes met Alex’s once more at the mention of the funeral. Everyone in town knew what happened to Paloma’s parents even if they weren’t friends with her because The Asteria Herald never passed up an opportunity to make some money on tragedy. “That makes sense. I don’t think anyone would feel too good after what the poor thing went through. I can’t imagine how weird it was for you, too. No offense, Alex, but I don’t see you as the socialite type.” She tried to smile and make light of a sad situation. “Everything is good in the Osman home. The boys are working on fixing up the restaurant and Ayeleen is healing well.” She paused and ordered a Dr Pepper when the serve came around. “Where is Paloma? I feel like you two lovebirds are always together these days.”

“I’ll take it as a compliment, then.” Alex didn’t expect to be looking his best all things considered and it didn’t matter all that much. He laughed as her socialite comment. “None taken. Half the people there probably thought I was an escort or something. Pretty shitty escort, if you ask me. The other half just kinda ignored me, thank god. But it doesn’t really matter that much. If Paloma doesn’t care what impression I make on them, I’m not goin’ outta my way to be courteous or whatever.” The entire place was filled with people he felt uncomfortable with. He was bitter that Paloma had been forced to grow up in a world so lacking in any care or warmth. The only thing he cared about was making sure Paloma was okay. The last thing he cared about what their opinion of him. “Good. Glad everything is going well.” He rolled his eyes as she asked about Paloma. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say you have a crush on Paloma yourself. Or are you just that worried about my love life?” he laughed. “I’m pretty sure she’s at the hospital working a shift.” The waiter came and took their orders.

“Wait.” The space in between Paloma’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. She looked over to Alex as one of the airline’s flight attendants walked by with a cart and offered people drinks. She shook her head and focused on Alex again. What he said would be present onher mind until she made a decision even if she didn’t have that long. How far along did the nurse say she was? She was ten weeks along. Other than some bloating and the occasional morning sickness which she attributed to stress, Paloma wasn’t showing. It would be silly to expect her to show so early on,, but she always thought that she would know— woman’s intuition or whatever. “You want a child? With me?” She asked increduously. That was something Paloma hadn’t considered; the fact that Alex might not be totally repulse by the idea of having a child in his mid thirties like most other bachelors. Then again, Alex had always been family oriented. She knew that from day one, from even before she ever met him, thanks to Cass. An amazing mom.. The thought made her dizzy again, enough to throw up but she held it in and asked the flight attendant for some Perrier, changing her mind. “It’s really shocking.” She admitted, at last. “But thank you for letting me think about this. I—” I’m scared, is what she wanted to say. “I’ll let you know. Oh, and… I understand if this, uh, changes things between us. It’s okay. But for what it’s worth,” She echoed his own words. “I know things will be okay. Eventually, you know.” She really liked Alex. Paloma more than liked him, but she wasn’t about to complicate her mind with those feelings. Paloma nodded and finally broke her eyes away from Alex, letting hazel hues fall on the screen in the seat in front of her. “I’m sorry for putting a damper on the whole picket white fence life you wanted.” It was a bad attempt at a joke.

Now that they had known each other for several months and had been together for a few weeks, Alex liked to think he was getting better at understanding what was on Paloma’s mind. Then there was this. He had no idea what she was thinking, but he wasn’t sure it was alright to ask. “Um, yes? That’s kind of a loaded question. It’s more complicated than that.” Part of it depended on if he thought they could truly spend the rest of their lives together. “Obviously this sort of talk usually comes later, but we both need to be honest now, so... Yeah, I want a family. I’ve always wanted a family. I hadn’t thought about a family with you, simply because our relationship is new and we hadn’t talked about just how serious things can get. I know this was unplanned, but if it were up to me, yes. I want a family with you. I want to be a dad. You said that day at your place you wanted to be a mom. I truly believe that we could make this work,” he said. “But I understand if you decide otherwise. Really. You have more on the line than I do. Not having a baby now doesn’t mean it’s a never. I meant it when I said I would support you either way.” He had no idea what to say about the potential changes between them. It was one of the things that scared him most. That Paloma could get rid of the pregnancy and everything could go back to normal but their relationship would be ruined. Right now he already felt less like Paloma’s boyfriend and more like some friend that happened to be there. He knew that Paloma should make the decision, but that didn’t make it hurt any less. He would just have to wait and see how things turned out. While he was doing his best to keep it together in front of Paloma, it was becoming more and more difficult. He couldn’t bring himself to smile at her attempt of a joke. “Just... not right now, Paloma. I’m sorry.” He was tired of the reminders about how different they were. Alex gave her a small smile to let her know he wasn’t angry. “I’m gonna try to get some sleep, okay? Let me know if you need anything.” With that, he took out the travel pillow from his bag and attempted to get some rest.