Dana Scully had seen a lot in just a couple of short years; experienced a lot. She’d been injured. She’d been abducted. She’d been scarred in so many ways that she’d lost count.
This time, she’d been attacked by a cannibal. Not just one cannibal; no, that would be too easy. It was multiple cannibals. Plural. A whole damn town, in fact.
To make things worse, they had to wait until tomorrow to leave. She and Mulder had one more night in this sickening environment. Scully had been tempted to ask Mulder if they could just go to a nearby town and stay in one of his prized by-the-hour motels. She knew that all she had to do was ask and Mulder would happily oblige. He’d been a bit more attentive like that since her return from wherever she’d been when she was abducted.
But, she couldn’t ask that of him.
The simple fact was that she, Dana Scully, was a special agent within the Federal Bureau of Investigations. She had chosen a career in an organization that was still, quite frankly, a boys’ club. Mulder might be the exception to the rule, having treated according to and valuing what she brought to the table. With the rest of the FBI, however, she still felt like the girl.
No, she couldn’t ask him to do that.
Scully stared at herself in the gross bathroom of her gross motel room. Part of her wondered why she didn’t just quit this job; wash her hands of the FBI, of the X-Files, and go into medicine as originally planned. Perhaps, her father had been right all along.
“Medicine is a good fit for you, Starbuck,” he’d said when she graduated from medical school. Granted, he hadn’t known about everything she’d gone through during medical school. And, she didn’t want him to know, either. Only Missy knew everything about that.
“Scully?” Mulder’s soft voice asked, muffled by the door in front of him. She snapped back to reality.
Oh, yeah. That was why she couldn’t just leave.
Mulder was an interesting individual. Scully had thought about it often. He’d been through a lot in his life, confided some of that in her. They’d developed a friendship that extended beyond their Bureau-mandated partnership. And, yet, she couldn’t help but to wonder if he saw them as friends, too.
“Just a second!” she called to the door. She quickly composed herself and made her way to answer the door.
Mulder stood there with a smile on his face and a pizza in his hands. She felt her eyebrow arch.
“I figured chicken was out of the question,” he quipped, grinning proudly. Scully must have made a face because he laughed. “Lighten up, Scully.”
“Been working on that all day?” she retorted, stepping aside to allow him entry to the room.
Mulder chuckled in response and made his way to the small table in the corner of the room.
“Only about twenty minutes or so.”
He flipped back the top of the box and looked over at her. His grin, however, turned to a look she didn’t quite recognize. She’d seen it on his face before, but rarely.
“What’s wrong?” he asked softly.
Scully shook let out a sigh. “Nothing.” Mulder didn’t seem convinced as he sat at the small table. “Really. I’m fine.”
A certain awkwardness descended on the room, almost palpable, as he nodded silently. Scully took the other chair as Mulder put a slice of pizza on a paper towel and slid it over to before getting one for himself.
“I guess I could’ve picked up some paper plates,” he said quietly. Scully huffed out a small laugh and he grinned.
They ate in silence for what felt like an eternity although, according to Mulder’s watch which just so happened to be facing her, not even five minutes had passed.
“Mulder, do you think of us as friends?” Scully heard herself ask. His head jerked up to face her.
He composed himself. “What do you mean?” he asked, taking another bite of his pizza.
Scully wanted to ask him what it sounded like she meant, but instead, she replied, “Well, we’ve been working together for almost two years. We’ve been through a lot in that amount of time.” She shrugged. “I’m just curious.”
Mulder wiped his mouth with one of the extra napkins before looking at her.
“Yeah, I think of us as friends.” Something inside Scully relaxed and it was his turn to tense. “Do you think of us as friends?”
“Yes, I do,” she replied without hesitation. He grinned a little grin that Scully didn’t think she was supposed to notice.
“Good,” he replied quietly. He exhaled a breath. “What’s this about, Scully?”
It was Scully’s turn to exhale. “I was just thinking. That’s all.”
The look he gave her silently asked her to elaborate but left the choice entirely up to her. She’d seen that look a lot recently--since coming back from her abduction. Mulder didn’t want to push, she realized. It was sweet of him.
“I guess, I was just thinking about what we’ve been through in the last couple of years…”
“Wondering if it’s worth it?”
There was a sheepishness and innocence to his voice that made her want to hug him and shelter him from the cruel, cruel world in the same way she would a small child.
However, she didn’t reply.
That had been exactly what she was wondering and she wasn’t sure if it was worth it.
“I get it, you know,” he continued. “I’ve wondered it myself.”
“Why do you do it?” she asked quietly.
“My sister. I need answers.” Mulder heaved a sigh before he continued, “My career took a hit when I got assigned to the X-Files.” He chuffed out a humorless laugh. “My reputation took a hit and it was always me against the monsters.” His eyes softened and he said, “Now, we fight against the monsters. But, Scully, they’re not all real monsters.”
Scully stared at him, confused. His life’s purpose was to prove that his sister was abducted by aliens, for God’s sake; he looked for monsters. Literal monsters.
As if reading her mind, he chuckled. “Some of them are just paper tigers, Scully.”
“Paper tigers?” She asked, dumbfounded by the elaboration and half-preparing herself for him to launch into some diatribe filled with explanations from folklore, myths, fairy tales; something from a Brothers Grimm story.
“It’s something from a Chinese phrase,” he elaborated, as she knew he would. “It, basically, refers to something--or someone--that claims or appears to be powerful. Threatening. Really, it’s not.”
“A lot of what we face is powerful and threatening.”
He chuckled at that before saying, “True. We face some very real threats, but we have something going for us now.”
“What’s that?” Scully asked quietly, not quite sure that she was going to like his answer. He gave her a look that she’d seen on his face several times over the last couple of years but still had yet to decipher its meaning.
“Us,” she repeated, not sure where he was going with this.
Mulder chuckled. “When you were assigned to me, it was so they could bring me down, right? Discredit my work?”
Scully felt her eyebrow arch. “Are you saying I’m a paper tiger?”
Mulder visibly fought a smirk and in a tone she didn’t recognize from him, he said, “Oh, you are a very real threat, Agent Scully.” He grinned before continuing. She would stew on that one later. “My point is that the FBI sent you to destroy me but, instead, they gave me an ally; a friend. They were the paper tigers, Scully.”
It was a sweet sentiment, but she still wasn’t quite following.
“So, you’re saying that the only thing to fear is fear itself?” She asked after several seconds.
“I’m saying that it was me against the monsters until a couple of years ago. Now, it’s us against the monsters.”
Mulder studied Scully as she processed what he was saying. Part of him wondered how she could see them as anything less than friends. Or, rather, how she could think that he did. He also wondered what was bringing this up and why now.
She’d been through a lot since she met him. He knew that. He hated that. Scully had been abducted, tested on, attacked, injured… all the things he wished he could take away; things that should have happened to him.
She’d call him a martyr if she could hear his thoughts. Maybe, that’s what he was. It didn’t matter, though.
Mulder thought back to the ritual he’d interrupted. Scully was, quite literally, on the chopping block. He didn’t have to have an advanced degree in psychology to know that it had done a number on her; even if she wasn’t processing it, yet. Eventually, though, she would.
And, he’d be there for her when she did. That’s just what friends did.
He assumed, anyway. He’d never really had friends outside of the Gunmen.
Mulder thought about how his heart had pounded when he saw her there, ready to be killed and… eaten.
Suddenly, he wasn’t hungry anymore.
His friend was almost eaten by cannibals. There was a Donner Party joke in there somewhere, but he didn’t want to find it.
All Mulder knew right then was that he needed to change the conversation.
He cleared his throat and reached into his pocket, glancing at Scully in the process. She seemed to be a million miles away.
“I, uh,” he chuckled as he pulled the small box out of his pocket and held it up. “I got cards.”
It was a weak attempt; he knew that. Maybe, it would help distract her, though.
She blinked in response before chuckling. It was a damn good sound.
He grinned and shrugged meekly. “Go Fish, Scully?”
Scully laughed at that. “Go Fish? What are we, seven?”
He grinned in response. “Okay, fine. We can play a grown-up game.”
“Grown-up game? Mulder, I’m not playing strip poker with you.”
Mulder couldn’t help but to laugh at that. She looked proud of herself, too. “Okay. How do you feel about regular poker? We can use the pepperoni as chips.”
She made a face and he laughed.
Scully watched as Mulder shuffled the cards he brought. It was only then that she realized what he was doing. In his own way, Mulder was making sure that she was okay. Pizza. Poker. Jokes.
Suddenly, she was overwhelmed. It must have shown because he straightened up.
“What is it?” Mulder asked softly.
“I was almost eaten by cannibals,” she replied. Mulder set the cards to the side, giving her his undivided attention. Scully heaved a sigh before she met his eyes. “Thank you, Mulder.”
“Coming to my rescue. Again. For the pizza. The cards.” For being my friend, she almost added.
He smiled a gentle smile. “That’s what friends are for, right?” She chuffed a small laugh before feeling his larger hand cover her smaller one. Scully looked up to meet his gaze.
They stared at each for what seemed like an eternity. He looked like he was on the verge of saying something but he didn’t say a word. There was a look in his eyes, however, that made her feel important.
After a moment, Scully spoke up, “Mulder?”
“Yeah?” he replied softly.
Mulder laughed at that and pulled his hand back. He reached for the cards and continued to shuffle.
“Hey, Scully,” he said, without taking his eyes from the cards in his hands.
“Thanks for being my friend.”
There was a vulnerability in his voice that both broke her heart and made it swell. For as much of a pain in the ass as he could be, Fox Mulder truly was a sweet man.
“Thanks for being mine,” she countered.
He looked up at her with a smile. Scully smiled back.
“You know, Scully,” he said, more confidently. “I’m a pro at poker.” Scully arched an eyebrow and he grinned. “I’m gonna kick your ass.”
“Paper tigers, Mulder,” she replied, smirking as she did so.
Mulder laughed as he finally began to deal the cards.
