#freysexual

Of course, Janus always encourages him to not care about what other people think, but it's not about that. It irritates him because of the simple fact people assume so easily that they know everything about their relationship and its nature. It would have annoyed him even if they were in fact dating. It's the principle. 

"Awww you're such a cute couple!" The waitress commented and Logan could feel his eye twitch in annoyance.

"We're not dating." Logan hissed lowely, Janus immediately laying a hand on one of his own that were clenched to fists on the table.

The waitress didn't seem to get the hint. She winked "maybe not yet."

Logan nearly growled in frustration. "No! Not ever! We're in a QPR and you don't get to assume-"

"Logan." Janus said softly, cutting off Logan's angry rant and he trailed off with a huff.

Janus turned to the waitress. "Sorry, it's a difficult spot for us, can you leave us for a minute?"

The waitress blinked at the sudden outburst. "Ah… sure." She said and left.

Logan sighed. "I'm sorry Janus, I know I should stop caring about this by now but…" he trailed off, looking away in shame.

Janus was still holding one of his hands, his thumb now stroking it soothingly. "Logan, it's okay to be upset about it." He said softly in that silky voice of his that always seems to calm Logan down.

"In an ideal world, people will stay out of other people's lives and businesses. Now, I don't justify this behaviour, but try to understand." Janus leaned forward a bit, forcing Logan to face him and meet his eyes. "We didn't know about this possibility either, you can't blame people for being ignorant on a subject that's far from well known. But, you are allowed to be hurt by this, your feelings matter regardless of others' intentions."

Logan let Janus' words sink in for a bit, before letting out another sigh and nodding.

Janus smiled softly at him, squeezing his hand reassuringly, before smirking. "What do you say we get out of here? This place's theme is too mushy to my liking anyway."

Logan didn't get a chance to articulate a response before Janus led him up and out of the restaurant. 

He was unusually quiet for the entirety of the car ride, thinking over Janus' words, feeling his frustration fade away slowly.

The car skidded to a stop and it took Logan a few moments to realize where they were.

"The beach?" Logan questioned as they got out of the car, the sky pitch black above them. He thought over what one usually does at the beach, "I don't think swimming is recommended at this time."

Janus snorted. "Oh Logan, no, no, geez. I'm not Remus"

Logan blushed slightly. "Then… why did you bring us here? The usual activities at the beach are swimming and watching the sunset, both of which are not appropriate for this time of day."

Janus smirked. "As always you are right. But, there is something I know you like more than sunsets that comes out at this time." Janus tilted Logan's head gently towards the sky and Logan gasped softly.

"Stars." Logan wasn't dumb, he knew Janus is trying to distract him. But well, he didn't really mind it. The sky was as clear as glass and the stars shone bright, he could almost see all the famous constellations and some of the less known ones too.

Without realizing it, he sank down to the soft sand, eyes fixed on the sky, and started talking about all the different stars and galaxies. After all, space was one, if not the, favorite subject for him to talk about.

Janus stayed quiet listening intently, and, after a while, they both fell to comfortable silence.

Logan finally managed to tear his eyes away from the breathtaking sky and looked closely at Janus. Their eyes met.

"I know that look, don't you even go there." Logan said.

"What look?" Janus asked innocently.

Logan resisted the urge to snort at that. "Don't you dare bring up-"

"Remember your sister's wedding?"

"The wedding." Logan finished a second too late, sighing. "Yes, Janus, I remember. I was so lost, I didn't know what to do. So then you said-"

"Just pretend to be my date, and everything will play out smoothly." They recited at the same time, smiling nostalgically at each other. So much has changed since then.

"It did not, in fact, play out smoothly." Logan pointed out and Janus rolled his eyes fondly.

"Yes darling, I was there. To be fair…" Janus laced their fingers together. "I did warn you not to listen to me."

Logan chuckled lightly and they fell to silence again. Inevitably, Logan's thoughts circled back to the waitress and he sighed sadly. "You know, we can't escape this. No matter how many people we'll tell and explain it to, there will always be twice as many people that are still ignorant."

Janus sighed too. "No, we can't… But we can face it head on, with our chins up, and take whatever society throws at us. We have each other, nothing will change that and that's all we need, Logan. Heteronormativity and society be damned. I love you, Logan, and that's all that matters."

Logan felt the corners of his eyes sting, he sometimes wonders what has he ever done to deserve Janus. "S-say that again." Logan asked, voice full of emotion.

Janus turned to him, smiling. "I love you Logan."

Logan threw his arms around Janus' shoulders, holding him tightly as he cried, tears streaming down his cheeks and soaking Janus' jacket. "I just… I know I shouldn't and… and I really came to terms with myself and who I am, I promise…" Logan trailed off with a sob.

"But?" Janus asked gently.

Logan took a shuddering breath. "But sometimes I wish I was… Normal… like everyone else… it would make things so much simpler. I'm so tired of explaining myself to every new person I meet, of feeling isolated and having the majority of people not relate or understand me. I sometimes wish it'll all just stop and I could take a breath or two and… be able to live my life like everyone else." 

Logan sniffed, burying his face in Janus' shoulder, unable to meet his gaze from shame, he's basically saying he wished their beautiful relationship would not be… Janus must be so hurt right now-

"I feel that way too sometimes." Janus said quietly, rubbing soothing circles on his spine. "But then…" Logan could hear Janus' smile in his voice. "Then I remember that I have you, and we have this. And I wouldn't trade that for anything." Janus pulled back a little so they're eyes could meet, he was indeed smiling and Logan almost felt a mirror smile tugging at his lips. "No one ever in my life understood me like you. So much so that sometimes I wonder if you could actually hear my thoughts." He chuckled softly.

Logan rubbed his warm cheeks, wiping his tears and sniffing. "I would be truly lost without you, Janus… thank you."

Janus smirked. "Ah yes, what would you do without me, I'd imagine life will be quite boring."

Logan smiled, grabbing his hand and lacing their fingers. "And lonely too." He added, not missing Janus' smirk melting into a gentle smile.

"Life will never be simple for us. Sometimes it will feel like too much, and sometimes it won't." Janus gave Logan's hand a squeeze. "But I'm sure that if we stick together, we're sure to figure it out."

He got up, pulling Logan with him and they both dusted themselves to get rid of all the sand.