#fourth trimester

Postpartum isn’t just one phase and each one deserves care, grit and emotional truth. Yesterday I spoke about nutrition post partum but today it's about the itty gritty of it.

Whether you’re in the thick of it or supporting someone who is, here’s a breakdown of the real postpartum timeline:

Acute Phase (0–12 hours)

The body’s in shock. Uterus contracting, bleeding monitored, adrenaline crashing. It’s raw, surreal, and often overlooked.

Subacute Phase (24 hours–6 weeks)

Hormones swing, sleep vanishes, feeding begins. Lochia, soreness, hot flashes, identity shifts. This is where emotional realism matters most.

Delayed Phase (6 weeks–6 months)

Recovery isn’t linear. Fatigue lingers, pelvic floor needs support, mental health deserves attention. Reintegration takes time—and nourishment.

Extended Recovery (6 weeks–2 years)

This is where the quiet work happens. Pelvic floor healing, mental health support, reintegration. Stamina takes patience. Nourishment matters. And the emotional echoes? They’re real.

This isn’t just medical. It’s emotional, cultural, and deeply personal. If you’re documenting, supporting, or simply surviving it - your story matters.

I’ve built visuals and recovery tools that honour every stage. No gloss, no erasure. Just truth, warmth and practical clarity.

like someone who will hold your hand through the unraveling rebirth and cracking.

like a hot meal when you’re leaking and starving.

like pads and nipple cream and a kind voice that doesn’t ask for ANYTHING in return.

i don’t have a title or any credentials yet.

i’m not a nurse. i’m not a guru.

i’m a woman and a mother who bled and wept and got up anyway.

and i am building something from the ache i was left with and the ache i can imagine other women have felt.

~ postpartum kits.

~ tea and witch hazel and prayers and affirmations.

- help with laundry or groceries or sitting beside you while you cry or holding the baby so you can shower.

~ soul-level companionship for the most sacred transition on earth.

i don’t want to fix you.

i want to witness you.

i want to bring beauty into the mess and warmth into the silence.

🛒 check out my Etsy where you can find prints like the one below ⬇️

📌 check out my instagram where you can see me document this journey with more visuals and less words 🤣

all @4herforever

𝙱𝚒𝚛𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚙𝚎𝚘𝚙𝚕𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚒𝚛 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚒𝚛 𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚝𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚞𝚖 𝚋𝚘𝚍𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝚋𝚎𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚗𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕.

𝙸 𝚠𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚊 𝚜𝚌𝚊𝚛𝚢 𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚐𝚎𝚛𝚢 𝚝𝚘 𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚊 𝚝𝚞𝚖𝚘𝚛, 𝚕𝚘𝚜𝚝 125𝚕𝚋𝚜 𝚋𝚎𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚐𝚗𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚢. 𝚃𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝙸 𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚠 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚋𝚎𝚊𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚏𝚞𝚕 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚕𝚎 𝚑𝚞𝚖𝚊𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙸 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚍 𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚖𝚢 𝚋𝚘𝚍𝚢. 𝙼𝚢 𝚋𝚘𝚍𝚢 𝚒𝚜 𝚍𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚖𝚊𝚣𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜.

𝚈𝚎𝚝, 𝙸 𝚊𝚖 𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚞𝚐𝚐𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚜𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚘𝚗 𝚘𝚏 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚜𝚑𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚊𝚖𝚊𝚣𝚒𝚗𝚐.

𝙸´𝚖 𝚝𝚛𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎 𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚎𝚏𝚞𝚕 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚢 𝚋𝚘𝚍𝚢 𝚊𝚜 𝙸 𝚠𝚊𝚕𝚔 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚖𝚢 𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚝𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚞𝚖 𝚏𝚒𝚝𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝚓𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚗𝚎𝚢.

Passing this on; saw this in a breastfeeding support group. It’s L O N G, but oh so worth it💕

Dear mama,

Could you wake up for a minute? I know it's hard for you to open your eyes - we haven't slept a lot yet tonight. But mama, I kinda need you right now. You see, the thing is, I feel a bit lonely at the moment. I'm laying here in my crib and I'm somewhat cold.

I didn't mean to cry so I'm sorry I did. I've been trying to get your attention by making some noises for a while now but you were in such a deep sleep, you couldn't hear me. I don't know how else to get your attention. During the day, I see and hear you all make noises and I see you respond well to each other. You talk to me like that too. And I try very hard but I don't know how to do that yet. So I cry so you'd listen to me.

Mama, I'm sorry for crying. Like I said, I feel a bit lonely. I just spent nine months inside your belly where I've always felt safe. It's a bit scary to me to be in such a big bed all by myself. I miss your heartbeat, the rushing of your blood, the warmth and the food.I miss your breathing and your hands you put over me to protect me when I still was inside your belly.

So mama, would you please listen to me? I'm calling for you in the only way I'm able to. I feel really alone. I need your warmth and your peace for a moment. I need to know for sure you're still here. So can I come lay with you for a little while to feel your warmth?

Some cuddles first. Mama, this feels so nice. When I feel you holding me while you gently rock me and when I can smell and feel you, I feel so safe. I can feel your hand on my back and my ear is placed just right on your heart. Mom, this is home to me. Do you remember back when we were always together? I always felt like this back then. Sometimes I miss that time. It was so nice to be close to you.

I hear you softly whisper into my ear "Everything is okay little one, everything is fine". Your voice is so soft and familiar. You smell good mom. A bit like me and a bit like you.

Mama, will you hold me just a little longer? I'm really tired and I feel so relaxed in your arms. It almost feels like before. I'm going to close my eyes for a little while, okay? Can I please stay with you here a little longer to enjoy your love and your presence?

And can I drink some more? Mama, since we're laying like this anyway...I'd like to ask you something. I know, it sounds pretty sad because I can't talk like you can yet so I'm sorry for crying again. But mama, can I please drink some more? My throat is dry and my tummy is empty and since we're here anyway...maybe I can have a few more sips? Your milk tastes delicious and is so warm and familiar.

Thanks mom, that's exactly what I needed. I was really really thirsty. Your finger on my cheek feels great by the way. And you're smiling at me. Nothing makes me happier than seeing your smile and feeling your presence. I'll close my eyes again, okay? Please don't put me away straight away, I really enjoy falling asleep here. This feels really good. Can I stay with you for another hour or so?

My tummy hurts. What is that?! Mama! Can you feel this? Mom? My tummy hurts so bad. What is happening? Please help me mama, I don't know what's happening. I've never felt anything like this.

Thank you for rubbing my belly mom. It's late and everyone is asleep. I'm so happy you're here for me. I don't know what I'd do without you mama. My tummy already hurts less and when you hold me like that...I feel pretty tired. Maybe I'll close my eyes again. Please hold me a little longer?

Can I have more cuddles? You won't believe this mama! I'm a bit scared. I just woke up and I didn't know where I was for a second. It was all dark and a little cold again. I know you're tired mama. But I really missed you, can I please be with you again for a while?

Mama, I can see that you're tired. There are tears in your eyes and every now and then a tear rolls down your cheek. I'm sorry mama but I feel really strange in this new world. I miss home. I miss always being close to you.

Sometimes I feel a tear fall on my head while you gently rock me. You're singing me a song so that I can go back to sleep. You softly dry the tears that fell on my head with your hand. That feels nice mom, do that again?

I fall asleep on your chest. You feel so soft, so familiar. There's nowhere I sleep better than here. My legs are pulled up, just like they were back when I still lived with you. I can hear your heartbeat again and I move along with your breathing.

Soon, I'll be able to be there for you. Or for my brothers or sisters. Or for my friends in school. You're teaching me how to take care of someone. You're teaching me that you listen, even when I can't ask. You're teaching me I'm safe, even when sometimes it feels like I'm not. You're teaching me that you love me, even when you're very tired. Thank you.

I will learn soon. Mama, you're the best place to be. I'm so glad I get to come to you over and over again. I don't like being unable to just ask either but I'm really happy you listen to me when I call for you.

My work as a Doula started six years ago, but my love for supporting birthing and postpartum families started nearly a decade before that with the births of my two youngest sisters. Since I was a teenager I have wanted to help new families, and when I discovered Doula work I never looked back. My practice has evolved over time. I started out as a birth Doula, but now I make my living almost entirely by doing postpartum work. I am one of the only Doulas in my community who offers overnight support to families, helping them get precious sleep, knowing that their infants are in experienced hands. Sleep deprivation can be a major component in postpartum mood and anxiety disorders, and I have seen many times how extra support can make a real impact.

My Doula training prepared me to support families, but left me lacking in the knowledge I needed to offer comprehensive breastfeeding support. For many of the families I work with I am the support person who truly gets to know them and their babies. On a number of occasions I have been asked to attend meetings with an IBCLC (International Board Certified Lactation Consultant) to help speak to their journey and their struggles. If I were trained as an IBCLC myself I would be able to offer hands on, comprehensive breastfeeding support and work with families and their care provider to ensure that both the baby and nursing parent are thriving.

Becoming an IBCLC (International Board Certified Lactation Consultant) is an involved process which includes 90 hours of specialized training, 45 hours of which will be obtained in a week long intensive hands on training, college level study in fourteen health science courses, five additional required Lactation specific courses, and 500 hours of directly supervised apprenticeship with a practicing IBCLC. You can see the full requirements here: https://iblce.org/step-1-prepare-for-ibclc-certification/lactation-specific-clinical-experience/pathway-3-mentorship/

This is a huge step forward in my career, and it will take a significant investment in terms of time and money to obtain it. Knowing that I will be able to better provide for my own family, while supporting so many families in my community, makes it all worth it.

Not enough time has gone by for me to have forgotten the miserable 4th trimester. But I was already a geriatric mother with this dude, it's not going to get better.

So what do you do when you think you're going to want a second child, but you don't yet, but also you don't have the luxury of time? Go for it and hope for the best? I don't know how else you do it.