#postpartum thoughts

It’s blood on the pads, milk on the shirt, tears at 3AM, and the sharp ache of realizing no one is coming to rescue you.

But it’s also the way your baby looks at you like you are the whole world.

And then I think about how much time I’ve wasted on toxic relationships, secretly searching for her in every relationship. I worry all the time that she’ll grow into someone who doesn’t respect me or see me. She’s my one true love and if all the love I poured into the wrong places was just rehearsal for her… then what? Was it all a joke?

The pain of that feels cosmic. Like it stretches across space and time. The universe is miraculous… what are the chances that I’d even be here, or that she would be here? Or that you’d even be here to read this? (thanks btw.) And yet existence feels unbearable when you’re stuck navigating other people’s cruelty, insecurities, and stupid made-up rules.

I don’t know how to tie all these thoughts together. I just know I love my daughter across every timeline, every version of this life, every corner of the universe.

like someone who will hold your hand through the unraveling rebirth and cracking.

like a hot meal when you’re leaking and starving.

like pads and nipple cream and a kind voice that doesn’t ask for ANYTHING in return.

i don’t have a title or any credentials yet.

i’m not a nurse. i’m not a guru.

i’m a woman and a mother who bled and wept and got up anyway.

and i am building something from the ache i was left with and the ache i can imagine other women have felt.

~ postpartum kits.

~ tea and witch hazel and prayers and affirmations.

- help with laundry or groceries or sitting beside you while you cry or holding the baby so you can shower.

~ soul-level companionship for the most sacred transition on earth.

i don’t want to fix you.

i want to witness you.

i want to bring beauty into the mess and warmth into the silence.

🛒 check out my Etsy where you can find prints like the one below ⬇️

📌 check out my instagram where you can see me document this journey with more visuals and less words 🤣

all @4herforever