#forever changing

You sighed before reaching out to stroke your friend’s face.

“I am still the same person that I was. I know that you don’t approve of the relationship but I’m happy. Can’t you be happy for me?”

John leaned his face into your hand. He enjoyed the caress. Everything about you was warmly familiar. The scent of your rosewater perfume filled his senses. It was the same perfume that you had always worn...the same scent that brought John comfort on his worst days.

“I can’t be happy when some half breed is ruining everything that I love about you.”

You closed the distance resting your forehead against his.

“You love me?”

John nodded.

“I have always loved you. I have kept you at a distance to keep you safe from the things that I deal with. When I found out that you were in love with Gabriel...I wanted to burn the world down. Y/n, please...just leave them. Leave Gabriel before something bad happens to you.”

You slowly stood up and eased your hand away from John’s face.

“I have my reasons to stay with Gabriel.”

John’s eyes rolled to yours.

“What are they? You can never give me something other than what you just said. I deserve to know the truth.”

You took a breath.

“Gabriel promised to keep me safe. You know that I am going to die from something horrible. You have heard the prophecy. Gabriel can keep me from that.”

John stood.

“So can I!”

You quickly walked back to your friend and took his hands in yours.

“John, you and I...we wouldn’t work. You know that. You’re always gone…”

John shook his head.

“So is Gabriel. He is rarely with you and when he is....it's always you trying to keep his attention! How is that fair to you?! He is going to hurt you and won’t give a damn about it! Gabriel doesn’t give two shits about humans and you think that you are going to change that! Gabriel won’t change for you or anyone else. It doesn’t matter how much you put out or how much you claim to love him...you’ll never be enough.”

John knew that he had struck a chord. You froze. Only your stunning eyes blinked; the rest of you was motionless. You turned and walked from the room ignoring John’s pleas to come back.

A few hours later, you stood in front of a boiling pot of water. You had been extra moody since your conversation with John. His words had been in your mind from the moment that you came home. Was that how John felt? In the beginning, you did agree to the relationship with Gabriel to keep yourself alive. Now it was different. You loved the half breed now. Maybe it was a bad idea but if you could keep yourself alive...you could find some way to keep your friends alive too.

“I could hear you brooding the moment that I walked in the door.”

You turned to see Gabriel standing in the kitchen doorway looking at you with an expression of discontent. That was the expression that you knew so well on his face. It seemed like you were always displeasing Gabriel in some form or fashion.

“It's been a long day.”

You said before turning back to the pasta that you had been absentmindedly stirring. The moment Gabriel’s finger stroked down your bare shoulder; you tried not to jump.

“Why are you so jumpy?”

Gabriel asked. You quickly tried to get your heart rate under control.

“As I said, it's been a rough day. It's been a while since I have seen you.”

You said, turning slowly. Gabriel’s eyes were locked on you. It didn’t take you being with the half breed for some time to know that he was onto you. Gabriel reached out and took your hand in his. Putting your hand to his nose, Gabriel inhaled.

“You always smell so delightful. It's always like the most beautiful and pure roses mixed with John Constantine’s scent. Do you have something to share with me?”

You swallowed before reaching out and fixing Gabriel’s tie back into his suit jacket.

“I saw John today. Nothing happened. You shouldn’t worry.”

Gabriel clearly wasn’t about to take your words seriously. He knew exactly what John Constantine was to you and what you were to him. It didn’t take Gabriel being a half breed angel to know that you were still partially devoted to the man. Gabriel would fight with whatever power he had to keep you safe under his control. John Constantine would be nothing but a fleeting memory in your mind.

“When it comes to the woman that I love; I will worry all that I feel is necessary. You know that I don’t approve of your friendship with him.”

You nodded. After a moment, you pushed a strand of Gabriel’s hair away from his face. If you could get Gabriel’s mind off of John then the rest of the evening would be fine. You stood on your tiptoes to kiss the half breed. When he didn’t kiss back, you knew how the evening would go.

“I know that you don’t. I just wish that you would consider….”

“I am not considering anything. Why is his scent on you?”

You didn’t answer right away. Gabriel’s hand tightened painfully tight around yours. You winced as the pain shot through your arm.

“Gabriel!” You whimpered. Gabriel didn’t ease up instead, he tightened it.

“I’ve broken your wrist before. I can do it again. Now tell me what John Constantine said to you.”

You pressed your lips together for a moment before speaking.

“He said that he loved me.”

Gabriel let go of your hand and moved away from you so fast that you fell at the half breed’s feet. Slowly, you looked up to your lover.

“Gabriel, I don’t love him. I love you…”

Gabriel laughed bitterly.

“If it wasn’t for me you would be dead by now. Maybe I should let you die. You’ll be as fucked as John Constantine is. I wouldn’t bat an eye over it either.”

It was a bold-faced lie and Gabriel knew it. You were the one human that he had any kind of love for. He could care less about most humans but something about you always kept his attention. You were...different. You weren’t selfish or foolish like most of the humans. To Gabriel, you were one of the few caring beings on the planet. Keeping you all for himself was the best idea.

“You’re lying. I never thought that I would see the day that you were jealous of a human.”

You said, slowly standing up. Gabriel didn’t blink.

“Then go to John if you are so confident. When you start dying of some horrible disease...don’t come to me.”

________

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