#fleurdebeton

Only because I don’t think I’ve done a Bucktommy shower scene yet

41. Washing each other’s hair + Bucktommy

Evan exhaled and Tommy knew it was only because his face was buried in the safety of his throat that the smallest of sobs fell with that breath. No one would’ve been able to hear it over the sound of the water hitting the tile but Tommy felt it ribbon through his own pulse and core right through him. Evan had been trying to put on a brave face all night, throwing quips in the faces of concern, charming all the doctors and nursing staff, and pouting until he got what he wanted whenever he met resistance.

But in the safety of the bathroom, of Tommy’s arms, he broke and Tommy knew what it meant to be shown that vulnerability.

“I know,” Tommy said, pressing a kiss against Evan’s scalp as he curled an arm around his waist. “Just lean on me, Evan. I got you.”

Tommy reached for the brand new bottle of anti bacterial body wash, fresh from the store, and instantly regretted it the moment Evan curled up into him with a hiss of pain. Evan stiffened, his body radiating so much tension that Tommy didn’t even think he remembered to breathe even as his hiss fell into a whimper. Tommy shifted, shielding him from the water as much as he could, and tried to calm his erratic pulse down.

“Breathe Evan,” Tommy said, rubbing a hand up and down the small of his spine. “Just breathe for me. I got you.”

Evan shoved his face further into the safety of Tommy’s throat with a gasp. “H-hurts.”

“I know.” Was all Tommy could say. What else was there to say?

The hot angry road rash crawled all the way up from Evan’s calf to the curve of his hip before scratching deep into his ribs where it splintered off up his side. Deep, purple bruises were already blossoming across swollen skin and the water was tinged a startling pink on the tiles beneath their feet.

Evan was going to be hurting for a least a few days.

“Hang on,” Tommy said and pressed another kiss against Evan’s head before he pivoted for the shampoo instead. If it was at all possible, Evan leaned even further into Tommy, letting Tommy take his weight as Tommy made quick work to pour some shampoo in his palm.

Howie, Eddie, and Hen had all assured him that by some miracle Evan hadn’t received any cervical damage despite being dragged across nearly sixty feet of concrete by his ankle but still, Tommy was careful as he carded his fingers up the crown of Evan’s head. He tried not to imagine it as he massaged at Evan’s scalp. One minute Evan was there, the next his legs were taken out from under him before he was dragged away from his friends, screaming.

Evan shuddered against Tommy as if reliving the memory himself as the suds turned into silk between them.

“Okay?” Tommy asked, adjusting to hold most of Evan’s weight so he didn’t try and lean on his still weak ankle.

a little scene prompt game to get me writing!

[🥾🌲😭 + 1: touching foreheads]

—

The tension is starting to get to him.

All of this beautiful relaxing nature, the fresh air, the sights and sounds of the late afternoon familiar hike. And yet, the tightness in Buck’s chest that he’s been trying to dodge for the past 72—give or take—hours, prevails.

He feels like he’s going to vibrate out of his own skin.

But he’s holding on. Yeah. He can wait. He can. And he has! He’s waiting. Even if he’s not entirely sure when he’ll get to stop waiting. He’s waiting because he’s a good person and he will respect the wishes of the people around him.

He can wait.

“Hey,” just ahead of him on the path, Eddie gestures up towards a trail sign. He turns back over his shoulder, the perfect picture of composure and nonchalance, and asks, “did you want to take a water break at the next lookout?”

And Buck feels his hold on himself slip like a misstep on a rocky path.

He can’t wait.

“Can—Can we talk about it yet?” he blurts out in a rush, tripping over his own words, tumbling and skittering like gravel down the incline, “I—I know you don’t want to but it’s—Eddie. I really think we need to talk about it,”

Eddie goes completely still.

Buck feels like his ears are ringing, he doesn’t know if this is the right call, but he’s—he can’t hold onto it anymore. It’s making him feel crazy.

He watches Eddie’s face in profile. Suddenly neutral in the way he gets when he’s trying to put a wall between himself and what’s happening around him. Buck hates it. Hates to be on the other side of that shell.

“Please?” Buck tries, sounding desperate even to his own ears.

There’s another beat, and then Eddie deflates with a heaving exhale. He closes his eyes, gives a stilted nod, and then turns to keep walking.

Buck is confused for a moment, scrambling to follow—always, always following—but then Eddie takes the split in the path towards the lookout marker he’d pointed out. He’s not running, Buck realizes with relief, he’s just leading them off of the trail.

Buck pauses when Eddie sits on the bench at the ledge, his back to Buck, facing the landscape below them. He’s still holding himself stiffly, but there’s a line of resignation in the curve of his shoulders that makes Buck’s heart ache.

He gives Eddie a second to breathe before making his way over to the bench, sure to telegraph his approach with footsteps that can be heard. For all that he’s been vibrating out of his skin wanting to talk, he finds himself moving slowly. Deliberate and measured. He’s cracked open the brittle shell, but there’s still something very fragile inside. There’s still a risk of hurt, if he’s not careful with it.

Buck stands in front of the bench for a moment, hands tucked away in his jacket pockets, looking out at the beginnings of sunset colors over the trees. Breathes deep and sits down. Leaves space between himself and Eddie, even though it makes him itch.

They don’t say anything for a while.

A bird calls. Then another.

Eventually, words from days ago, said in parting at his front door, return to the forefront of his mind—

Hey, um. Before I go…

“You told me you loved me,” Buck murmurs. As if he needs the reminder.

I love you. Just so you know.

As if he hasn’t been replaying the words in his head on a loop for days.

We don’t need to talk about it, but I just…

“You—,” Buck furrows his brow and chews his lip. Breathing in, then out, “You said—,”

I’m in love with you—and it’s important to me. That you know that.

Buck looks over at him for the first time since sitting down, “And then you left,”

I’ll see you on shift, okay?

There’s silence. And then,

“Yeah,” Eddie swallows harshly, “I did,”

“Why d—,” Buck starts, stops, huffs. Goes to try again, but he doesn’t even know what he wants to ask. Why do you love me? Why did you say it? Why didn’t you tell me sooner? Why did you leave? All of them? None of them? He’s not sure.

Eddie purses his lips and shrugs, still not meeting Buck’s eye. But he picks an unsaid why, maybe at random, and replies, “You told me you didn’t think it was in the cards for you. And I couldn’t let you believe that was true,”

Buck’s brain stutter-steps. Rewinds to earlier in that day—before the life-changing farewell at the door took over his entire field of view—back to when he’d been telling Eddie how app dating was starting to feel hopeless, even with the newly-doubled pool size. How he’d laughed and said he felt like maybe he’d run out of chances. Maybe he’d gotten too complicated.

He feels scrambled, searching for words, “I don’t—so you just—,”

“You’re easy, Buck,” Eddie cuts him off, his voice fervent even where it cracks, no room for argument, “you’re so easy to love, it scares me sometimes,”

The wave of adrenaline and shock and overwhelming adoration that sweep over Buck makes him feel tingly and lightheaded.

“Eddie,” Buck whispers, feeling on the verge of tears as he scoots himself closer, “Eddie, look at me, please,”

Eddie’s eyes flicker to him, then down and away, but back again. Meeting Buck, just because he’d asked. Steeling himself. But brave. So, so brave.

“You don’t have to feel the same,” Eddie says, quietly, voice thick and resigned. A flash of a sad, unsure smile, “it’s okay, it’s just mine to hold onto,”

“You asshole,” Buck chokes out a laugh, folding forward to press their foreheads together, eyes closing, noses bumping, hand finding Eddie’s elbow and holding on tight, “You’re such a martyr,”

Eddie lets out a surprised snort, but he’s still shaking in Buck’s grip when he weakly teases back, “Look who’s talking,”

“Of course I feel the same,” Buck whispers into the space between them, barreling past the teasing and back to the heart of it, “of course I love you. How could I not?”

Inevitable, inevitable, inevitable.

He feels more than he hears the shuddering breath that Eddie takes, before he says, so softly it’s barely anything, “You do?”

Buck nods against him, frantic and with furrowed brows, “You—You didn’t want us to talk about it a-and then you didn’t let me say anything back before you left, you jerk—so please, just,” pressing even closer, feeling a hand on his shoulder, fingers against his jaw. Says, “let me,” feels a wetness on his cheek and he’s not sure whose eyes it came from, says again, “let me, please—please, let me love you—,”

Anything else he says is lost between the press of lips and the soft breeze.

Hi Em! Thanks for sending in a request :) This one did light up my brain and I apologize in advanced haha

"Buck." Eddie greets in light surprise when he swings the front door open. "Were...did we have plans?" He asks with a frown, quickly searching for brain for if he'd forgotten something. It would be odd if he did, considering it's Buck. The one thing Eddie thinks about most apart from his son.

"N-no." Buck shifts his weight from one foot to the other, "No. I...can we talk?"

"Of course." Eddie steps aside and gestures for Buck to come in, the other man doing so, shoulders hunched and clearly trying to make his large body smaller. Small alarm bells begin to go off in Eddie's head but he does his best to shut them down. "Uhm, want a beer?" Eddie asks, already heading for the kitchen. "We can throw on a movie or something..."

"No, thank you." Buck's response is polite and friendly. So very different from how they normally act.

Eddie closes the fridge he'd just pulled open, turning to face Buck who is lingering near the door like he might flee at any moment. "Is everything okay?"

"Yes. Mostly. I..." Buck takes a breath, "I need to say something. A-and then I'll go."

"You don't have to." But Buck is already shaking his head before Eddie can finish.

"Let me talk first."

"Alright..." Eddie backs up a few steps until he can lean against the counter, crossing his arms against his chest. "What's up?"

Buck takes another breath, releasing it slowly. "I have recently...realized some things. Things that had already been there but I'd been avoiding facing. B-because I was scared."

Eddie stays quiet as he watches Buck.

"Which is ridiculous," Buck laughs weakly. It sounds hollow. "Because it's..." He gestures faintly at Eddie. "It's you."

Eddie still says nothing. But he notices his heart picking up in his chest.

"Things have changed, Eddie." Buck says quietly, "I know you've noticed it too. We can't not notice it anymore. And...and I don't want to." He looks at Eddie, blue eyes peering right into brown eyes. "I hope you don't want to either."

Eddie's breath lodges in his throat. He knows exactly what Buck is saying even if Buck refuses to say the words. Eddie isn't entirely sure how he'd react if Buck did say them. Laid it out point blank between them. It scares Eddie a little. A lot.

"I know," Buck continues, and Eddie realizes the large amount of space that separates them right now. It feels so wrong. But neither of them make a move to change it. "I know you aren't ready. And that's okay." There's a small smile on his face, but it's genuine and true. Eddie would know otherwise. "You don't have to be ready yet, even if I am. Alright?"

Eddie drops his gaze, focuses on the corner of the counter.

"I'll still be here when you're ready." Buck tells him and Eddie doesn't know what to do with that.

No one has waited for him. No one has been patient enough to wait for him. No one has deemed him worthy enough to wait for.

And yet, here Buck was, declaring just that.

He would wait for Eddie. No matter how long it may take.

"And..." Eddie's voice is barely a rasp. He wets his lips with the tip of his tongue, "What if I'm never ready?"

Eddie waits. Holds his breath and waits for the answer that will surely come: I can't wait that long. You aren't worth it. No.

It doesn't come.

"I told you," Buck's voice is even and level. There's no shake or tremble to it. "I'll still be here when you're ready."

Eddie closes his eyes at the sudden rush of tears. Bites down on his lip to keep the small whine at bay. He can't do this. He can't let Buck down. But he's not ready. He knows he's not. He doesn't want to lose Buck though.

"I'll see you at work tomorrow, okay?" Buck tells him, and Eddie forces his eyes open to look at Buck, to take in the tiny smile there, the glimmer of hope in those blue eyes.

"Yeah." Eddie forces out. Buck nods, smiles once more, and turns. Eddie doesn't move as he listens to Buck walk across the house and leave through the front door.

Eddie doesn't move as he stares at the spot where Buck just stood, declaring his unwavering love for Eddie, even with it unreturned.

Eddie isn't ready yet, but he thinks one day, he will be.

you know it babe! domestic buddie my most beloved

they love quiet nights in, movies and pizza are their idea of date night (so valid, also my idea of date night)

i think they're a babe/baby couple but i also think that they think calling each other by their last names is flirting

buck cooks, eddie does the dishes (occasionally they swap and buck giggles while eddie pouts n says that his lasagna is just as good as bucks)

eddie gets cooking lessons from bobby so he can surprise buck on their anniversary

buck n eddie have double date night with maddie n chimney at least once a month

i can't think of any more at this moment but i hope you like them<3

Em!

I've complimented Jess twice today. I tell Kayla how much I love her all the time. Let's go with AJ again!

@dorkydiaz, you've been there for me since I first entered this fandom, and I always know I can count on you. You're one of the few constants, and I appreciate that more than you know. You've supported me through so much because that's just the kind of friend you are, and you deserve nothing but love and support in return. 💛

eddie fidgets when he’s nervous, or stressed, or otherwise agitated—this is something buck has known about him for untold years now. eddie’s fingers are almost as familiar to him twisting together like this as they are clasped in his hand, gripping a steering wheel or a coffee mug or wrapped around him sweat-soaked and panting.

buck sighs, soft, indulgent, and reaches across the gearshift to untangle eddie’s hands. eddie resists for just a moment before he lefts them relax, and buck slots his fingers between eddie’s, folding their hands together like he’s done a hundred times before.

“hey,” he murmurs, squeezing eddie’s hand. “it’s just a school pickup, sweetheart. nothing we haven’t done before.”

eddie sighs, letting his head fall back against the passenger seat. the movement tugs his hands away but buck keeps holding on, leaning forward to follow their path. eddie squeezes back, and for three heartbeats they sit silently in the muggy heat that’s begun to gather since they turned the engine off.

“it’s just—” eddie starts, and sighs again. “i know it’s stupid, but—high school? i feel like he was just seven years old, and then i blinked and now we’re picking him up from his first day of high school. sometimes i just want to go back to when he was seven.”

“i don’t,” buck says. “i didn’t have you when he was seven.”

eddie turns, leaning against the headrest, one corner of his mouth starting a slow ascent towards a smile. “that’s true,” he says. “i don’t want to change that part.”

“hate to break it to you,” buck murmurs, “but you can’t change any of it. time only goes in one direction.”

“shut up,” eddie huffs. “i know. i’m just—high school,” he says again, like it explains everything. “it’s stupid, but there’s a part of me that’s worried that he’s going to walk out with, i don’t know, a girlfriend and a part time job and be in seven different clubs and we’ll never see him again.”

buck can’t help the laugh that slips out of him then. “babe,” he says, freeing one of his hands so he can cup eddie’s cheek. morose, eddie leans into his touch.

“first of all,” buck continues, “how do you know our son won’t want a boyfriend?”

“i guess i don’t,” eddie says. “point taken.”

“as for the rest of it… it might happen some day, but today he’s still going to walk out the same chris that we dropped off in the morning. no use worrying about it yet, okay?”

“you’re not supposed to be the rational one,” eddie mutters.

“yeah, well,” buck says. “he’s your kid.”

“he’s—” eddie starts, and buck swipes his thumb across eddie’s mouth to cut him off.

“yeah, he’s my kid too,” he says. “i know. but it’s—different, you know? not bad different, just different.”

eddie turns to press his lips to buck’s palm. “i guess,” he says. he looks like he’s about to say something else, but there’s a knock on the window and they look up to see christopher, still curly-haired and grinning wide just like he’d been that morning.

he climbs into the backseat, and buck glances over his shoulder. “hey, buddy, you want to go get ice cream and tell us about your first day of high school?”

christopher narrows his eyes, looking suspicious. “was dad being mopey again?”

buck puts on his best scandalised expression. “your dad? mopey? never!”

christopher laughs and eddie elbows him, but buck grabs his arm before he can withdraw it and pulls him in for a kiss.

“so? ice cream?” buck asks, and gets a resounding yes in return. he turns the engine on and shifts the car into drive, and once they’re on the road he reaches out and twines eddie’s fingers with his.

eddie fidgets when he’s nervous, or stressed, or otherwise agitated, but buck’s gotten pretty good at diverting it by now.