#flashback tw

[IDs: A short The Owl House fancomic centered around Gus, read from left to right.

1) Hunter is seen in the kitchen, wearing a light yellow apron. He looks behind him and requests, "Hey Gus, will you get me the "paring" knife?". Hunter's hair is slightly grown out but it's before he cuts his hair in Thanks to Them.

2) Gus, who has been washing the dishes with his magic, replies, "Oh, sure thing!". In the next panel, he's bending to the side to get the knife.

3) We see Gus from behind, looking inside a drawer. He puts away the dishes. Then, he seems to have found it, however we don't see the knife.

4) Smiling, Gus offers the still not exposed knife to Hunter. "Here you go, Hun-", only for him to open his eyes and see flames around him, the background darkening as well. He completes, "... ter?"

5) Gus' body is the one framed, his left hand holding the paring knife. We see the top of someone's head, a familiar blond hair with the one rebellious hair strand. This other person says, "I know you're still in there."

6) A close-up of Gus' mouth, sweat drops rolling down his face.

7) A shaking, white-skinned hand holding another knife. The other person begs, "Please..."

8) Caleb is in the middle of the flames, terrified. He's trying to calm Gus down instead of fighting back, since he doesn't point the knife at the boy. Caleb has dark bags under his eyes, similar to Hunter's. He pleads, "Don't do this, Philip."

9) As Gus watches the scene, a couple voices can be heard, represented by each color:

Willow (green): "... Gus?"

Luz (purple): "Are you okay?"

Amity (pink): "Can you hear us?"

Vee (dark green cyan): "What's wrong, Gus?"

10) A voice stands out to Gus, in brown (supposedly Camila): "... Why are his eyes blue?", only the last word colored blue. However, instead of Gus, we see Monster Belos' glowing blue eyes. /End ID]

(I apologize for the format here, Tumblr hates me)

Anyway, I've been writing this idea but I thought drawing it would've been cool. I also missed drawing comics in this format :)

I really wish we could've seen something like this on the show. I know for a fact that Gus would've been horrified by Belos' memories, one because he's the youngest of the group, and two, imagine him seeing Hunter dying over and over again. And yet we never actually see Gus and Hunter talking properly.

Hopefully I'll finish the fic soon, but for now have this little thingy. I hope Gus looks okay, I'll try to draw him more often

DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION!

They’d just been hanging out, Mack listening as Eddie’s fast fingers strummed and plucked melodies from their favorite songs. The high from the shrooms was setting in, and she laid on her bed, staring up at the ceiling. She could swear she could see faces in the paint, but after a bit… it began to change.

Their heart was racing and their breath suddenly a bit shaky as the faces they saw became… familiar. At first, it was people she loved, people she liked. Like Nadia, or Eddie. Then came others. The judge, for one. Her therapist. The warden who broke her thumb… it only got worse from there.

Mack saw their father, face twisted in rage. She could practically hear the screaming… she was shaking. “… Mack?”

She could hear Eddie's voice, but he felt… so far away. She gripped her sheets, unable to tear her eyes from the ceiling. She was breathing too fast, their entire body locked down. Eddie was talking, but she couldn’t hear him over the way her pulse was pounding in her ears.

A touch, in reality light and cautious, felt violent. She felt hot breath on her neck, heard a voice she shouldn’t hear, and gasped. Jolting up they shoved Eddie away, scrambling off the bed. Grabbing their switchblade, they were across the room, pressed against the doorframe within seconds. Holding the blade out, their eyes locked on Eddie’s and for a moment, she just stood there, breathing hard.

Eddie. Recognition setting in, she looked down at her hand. Scrunching their face at the sight of the blade, for a moment, they swore they heard their father's voice for the first time since that fateful night:

Gonna use it again, Kenz?

Mack threw it down, backing away from it. “I gotta- I gotta pack. I need to get out of here. I- I can’t-” they stammered, eyes searching before finding their backpack. Diving for it, they ripped it open and dumped out loose assignments and open pens without regard for any other contents. Grabbing the picture of Nadia and her first, they started stuffing anything important in their bag.

There was no denying that it had been love at first sight. Jose had been studying abroad for a semester when he met Natalie. The whirlwind romance was one for the ages. They quickly went from strangers to never seeing one without the other. 

Their friends had said something about how they were too dependent on each other however both of them brushed it off. Those comments only made the two of them seek each other out even more. 

When the semester came to an end Jose tried to convince Natalie to come back home with him but was met with resistance. 

"I don't want to move. What if it upsets the baby?" Natalie worried, resting her hand over her nonexistent bump. 

Jose nearly fainted right there as he took in his beautiful Natalie, she stood near the window with the setting sun behind her casting a bright halo around her making her look angelic,  "You're pregnant?" He asked, leaning heavily against the bench for support. 

Natalie turned towards her boyfriend with a bright smile and nodded, "I am." 

With those two words, Jose's fate was sealed. He would do anything to be there for his child. Natalie had never looked as beautiful as she did at that moment. He quickly moved towards her and spun her in circles, quietly whispering near her ear in his native language about how happy he was and how he couldn't wait to be a father. 

_____________________

Jose did his best to provide for them but unfortunately, immigration policies that had been put in place did not work in his favor. Eventually, Natalie stated that the visa process and the money were a waste of time when they could just get married. With their marriage came the ability to earn more money with better-paying jobs due to his visa.  

But the marriage had been more out of necessity or obligation than love. For years Jose had tried to get a visa through the legal channels and had poured so much money into the process. He had his second thoughts about the marriage especially when they were really struggling and he'd picked up any overtime that was offered. The reason for the overtime was two-fold. One was because they needed the money as Natalie insisted on being a stay-at-home mom. Two he dreaded going home every night. If he didn't work overtime Natalie yelled that he was good for nothing and tried to starve their son to death. On the other hand, if he worked overtime Natalie became suspicious and accused him of cheating on her. Of course, neither of these were true but after hearing them so often it felt like maybe she was right.  

With a better-paying job and more manageable hours, Jose finally felt like he was able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. All that changed after Remus was born. 

____________________

There was something different about Natalie after Remus. She looked at the child like she feared he might spontaneously combust or perhaps she was wishing he would. She had never looked at Roman that way. Jose thought maybe he was just seeing things since her behavior towards Roman hadn't changed. 

After a long shift, Jose came home and found Natalie barricading herself in the kitchen with a knife pointed at Remus. She was shrieking and crying as she watched her son. It was impossible to understand what she was saying and honestly, Jose wasn't sure he wanted to know. 

His eyes went to Remus who was sitting up and looking at his mom, reaching his hands out for her but by the look in Natalie's eyes she didn't even recognize the child as her. The first thing he noticed about Remus was the blood around him that was coming from his hand. 

Jose picked up Remus and took him and Roman to the bathroom so he could patch up his son. He would likely never know how Remus got injured as that day Remus stopped talking to anyone but Roman. 

This was the first time Jose considered that maybe Natalie needed help. He did his best to keep Remus away from her and ensure that he had everything he needed. Jose also tried to urge Natalie to seek professional help but if anything that only made things worse. Even when he suggested Roman and Remus go to therapy he was met with resistance by Natalie. 

When Jose had brought up seeking help Natalie had screamed and cried for hours about how she was trying her best and maybe if he did more this wouldn't be happening

Without Natalie's knowledge, he did manage to take both of his sons to therapy. Jose couldn't care less what Natalie's reaction would be if she ever found out. This was in the best interest of his children.  

At this point, Jose was half convinced that this was normal behavior. There were times after the fact that Jose went over all of the days leading up to the end that he tried to pinpoint if he'd missed a sign but everything seemed normal. 

One day he came home from work with Remus on his hip to find the house trashed. There was a letter amongst the wreck from Natalie that said she was taking Roman and leaving. That Jose was no longer the man she married and she couldn't take it anymore. Upon reading that letter Jose knew he should've felt sad or ashamed but he couldn't help but feel relief. That Remus was safe, he was safe. The only thing he was worried about was Roman. How he'd ever find his son or ensure that he was okay. There was no telling what Natalie would be capable of. Thankfully, she hadn't shown any aggression towards Roman but Jose knew that it wasn't safe for Natalie to have him. 

After Natalie left Jose never stopped looking for Roman. However, there were very few people who wanted to assist an immigrant in finding his child. He'd told his story many times and found that most people just stared at him and came to the conclusion that his wife was abused and running for a reason. During his search child protective services had been called on him multiple times as anyone who listened to his story assumed that Remus was also in danger. Thankfully these assumptions were unfounded and he was able to take care of Remus on his own. 

_______________________

Years had passed and Jose had stopped telling people his story. This didn't mean he'd stopped looking for Roman but he mostly used the internet or prayed that somehow they would make it back to each other. 

The day has been like any other day when he received a text from an unknown number claiming to be Roman. Jose was hesitant to believe it at first as it seemed so impossible but upon further investigation he realized it was actually Roman. 

It took everything in him to be patient to schedule a meet up. This was his son they were talking about. A son he never thought he would be allowed to see again. With the reconnection came the hard part of trying to explain to his grown son what had happened. But it felt like all he had were excuses. That he hadn't tried hard enough or been a good enough father. 

______________

Once he'd said his part Jose hazard a glance at Roman and saw that his son had tears streaming down his face, "I'm so sorry." He pleaded, needing his son to understand.

Roman shook his head, "Dad no." He whispered, wiping at his face and feeling Virgil's hand on his thigh rubbing small circles, "you did so much for both of us." He added, "She--she always told me you left."

"I promise you I didn't. I have spent all of my free time looking for you." Jose assured, setting his hand on the table near Roman and instantly relaxing when he grasped his hand. 

The teen choked on a sob, "I believe you." He whispered, squeezing his hand. 

Those three words broke all of Jose's resolve. Roman believed him. His son didn't blame him. He didn't hate him. Jose swallowed hard, "Roman. Can I have another hug?" He asked gently, trying to let his son set the pace. 

Roman immediately got up and wrapped his arms around his father, not even allowing him to get out of his seat, "please stay." 

“Gus?”

The illusionist doesn’t look up.

“You couldn’t sleep?” Hunter asks softly.

Without saying a word, Gus shakes his head.

When the thunder blares outside, he can’t contain his furious flinch.

That’s when Hunter approaches more.

And then…

Gus feels something warm around his shoulders.

A blanket.

His blanket, actually.

That has Gus look up and find two magenta eyes that know too much, that know entirely about crying alone in the night. Them, and the light spell illuminating them both.

“Do you want some tea?” Hunter suggests.

“Aren’t the flavors different here?”

“Well, yeah, but it’s probably not hard, right?”

Gus snickers. “We’ll probably burn down the kitchen.”

“No, I’ll make the tea for you.”

“Then you’ll set the whole house on fire.”

Hunter looks at him, betrayed, which makes Gus laugh a little less shyly.

“We’ll make it together, whether it sucks or not,” the latter concludes. “How about that?”

“Together…” Hunter gives in and smiles. “Yeah. That sounds nice.”

--

The two sit on the couch together, sharing the blanket and drinking their own cups of tea. It doesn’t taste as good as how Luz’s mother makes it… but it doesn’t taste horrible, at least.

Gus and Hunter remain silent on the most part, if not for their palismen, who have joined the cocoon. Everyone else is asleep, as they have been exhausted since their arrival. Gus hasn’t slept well in the last nights, admittedly. Tonight, though, has to be the worst yet. He’s simply… overwhelmed and sad, and mournful.

Hunter can tell, even if Gus hasn’t told him anything.

The former leans on the latter affectionately, to show him that he’s here. Gus smiles, then takes one last sip of his tea. Sighing deeply, he lowers his head and stares at his empty cup.

Much to his surprise, Hunter’s hand is cupping Gus’ chin.

“Hold on, you have… some tea there,” the older boy observes.

Gus blushes at how gentle the touch is, so much that he won’t move.

“O-Oh. Thanks?” He lets out, sounding like his pre-puberty self.

Hunter snorts.

“You’re welcome, Pip.”

Gus goes cold .

“... What?”

When he looks back, he doesn’t find magenta.

He sees… brown.

Brown eyes that simultaneously look dead.

The same smile but there’s something wrong about it.

I know you’re still in there.

And he sees red.

No, not just Flapjack.

Please…

Red, red, red.

Don’t do this, Philip.

The storm is getting through, wetting him, making him feel lost and crushing him with the tears from the skies.

…

… snap.

Snapping fingers.

“... Gus! Gus ! Can you hear me?”

As soon as he blinks again, everything… is back to normal.

Hunter is there, with his magenta eyes, with the same scars, wearing cozy clothes. He’s frowning in concern, apparently sweating as well, maybe not knowing what just happened to Gus.

The illusionist feels his head heavier.

“Your eyes were blue,” Hunter points out. “Were you seeing an illusion?”

Gus can barely react.

He’s still seeing the brown and the red in Hunter, and he can’t get them out.

“Gus,” Hunter insists, “what did you see? Can you tell me? You look scared.”

It’s…

Too much.

Gus still hasn’t left the illusion.

(Has he ever?)

“... nothing.”

“What?”

“It was nothing,” Gus replies simply, trying to sound as numb as possible to disguise the shakiness in his voice.

“That wasn’t nothing,” Hunter reacts incredulously, yet not to the point of lashing out. He’s on the verge of panicking himself, and Gus feels terrible about it. “Gus, you can tell me anything, remember? I promise I won’t mess with you.”

These words are useless right now.

The black teen shakes his head repeatedly.

“No,” he mumbles.

“Gus–”

“I need to–” Gus tries to stand up from the couch, only to almost fall. “I’m okay.”

“No, you’re not-!” Before Hunter snaps and tries to help him, Gus raises his voice.

“ Just give me some space, okay!? ”

Something about his voice changes.

Gus covers his mouth in utter shame.

Especially at how terrified Hunter looks.

Please… don’t do this, Philip.

“I-I’m…” Gus tears up, adding quietly, “I’m sorry.”

Finally, he runs to the bathroom before things get worse.

Although he hears his name being called, Hunter doesn’t go after him, and maybe it’s for the best.

Gus runs away from the gentle, haunting light, to the dark and even smaller bathroom. His eyes are blue again, so they’re the only thing lighting up the place. He uses Willow’s breathing technique over and over again, and again, and again.

And it won’t work.

It won’t work because…

Gus’ blue eyes aren’t the only ones in the room.

When he gasps and steps back, doing a light spell, he touches and feels the mirror behind him. Which means…

This isn’t an illusion.

Despite the fact that the eyes disappear.

Panting, Gus can only sit on the floor and cry like a child.

the events are already on repeat in his head. what could he have done differently? what was the girl's mother going to say? connor had one job: save the hostage at all costs. and he'd failed. god damn it, he tried. he leapt for the girl as she was pulled over the edge of the roof. their hands even grazed. but he was too late. connor landed harshly on his chest, his front half hanging over the edge. he watched them fall. watched them land.

"connor! are you okay?" a familiar voice asks. but he can't speak. he can't move. hank has to physically pull him back onto the roof. "connor. hey. talk to me." nothing.

they'd trusted him. connor was trained in negotiation, and he was damn good at it. he didn't fail - it just didn't happen. why now? why this case? was he going to be fired? charged with manslaughter?

it's another five minutes before connor is able to stumble to his feet. and when he does, he dashes to a lower floor with a private, single-stall bathroom. the second the door is locked he collapses. it's hard to breathe. he rests his back against the wall, hands grasping at the side of the toilet bowl. he feels like he's going to throw up, or pass out, or both.