Hello, my name is Patrick. I am raising tuition funds, to put myself back into school- I’m enrolling in Child Studies and a BEd program focusing on Early Childhood Education and Special Need. Please help me assist countless future students. gf.me/hzyb4 #gofundme #helpme #education #student #fixingme #futurekindergartenteacher #fixingmyfuture #raisingmoneyforschool #gofundmedonations #educateaneedystudent #futureeducator #futureearlychildhoodeducator #futurespecialneedsteacher #250sofar #educationfund #educator #ece #specialneeds #educatorsthatinspire #educatorsthatcare #educatorsthatchangelives #educatingourchildren #educatingkids #educatingmyself #empoweringchildren

Watermelon and eggs for dinner and protein mug cake for dessert. The feeling of enjoying eating is so weird. For the last 5 or 6 years I've felt nothing but remorse after every bite, even when I thought I was eating healthy. I still felt remorse. It feels good to enjoy food. And to know that I'm doing okay.

I get to eat good food tomorrow! I’m so happy with myself. I was starting to really doubt myself and my abilities to do this. But I set a goal, and I hit it. Albeit, a very small goal. But a goal nonetheless. Im not going to “workout” tonight because my legs hurt so bad, but it’s okay. Hopefully hit the gym tomorrow! I’m going to weigh myself in the morning and no matter what it says I will be happy. I will be happy. I’m thinking about getting up early tomorrow and making a yummy breakfast aside from my normal boiled eggs. Maybe I’ll have scrambled cheesy eggs! I’m also thinking about laying off the meal prep. I’ve been doing it for about 7/8 weeks now and I haven’t really seen any improvement. I haven’t regressed, but I haven’t improved either. And I miss cooking. So maybe I’ll start cooking again in the evenings! Exciting things are happening!

Day one was a success! I ate only what I told myself I was allowed to eat. No cheating, no excuses, no fake compromising. Just straight up ambition and determination and I did it. I did a few exercises in my room too. I didn't want to go to the gym bc I wasn't sure if my body could handle eating so little and going to the gym all in one day, so instead I just did this in my room: Sit ups (3 sets of 10) Side- Lying Leg Raises (3 sets of 10/ leg) Plank (25 seconds) Knee Push Ups (3 sets of 10) Wall Sit (25 seconds) Lunges (25) Squats (30) Crunches (3 sets of 10) I'm just now starting to feel hungry, but it's bed time so I'll just sleep through it until tomorrow. This really has been a good day. Work was good, I got home and was able to be in bed watching movies by 7:00 and it's just been so nice. I talked to Ben for over an hour tonight and of course I loved that. I'm just really pleased with how this day went. Please to anyone that takes the time to read my updates, any advice is welcomed and appreciated.

I gained 10 pounds in two weeks. That's some sort of record right? Wtf. Today I am starting a 3 day Tuna/Chicken salad cleanse. For breakfast I will have 3 hard boiled eggs and 16oz of coffee. For lunch everyday I will have 1/2 cup of tuna salad and 1/4 cup of almonds. And for dinner I will have 1/2 of chicken salad and 1/4 cup of almonds. I intend to drink about 7 or 8 bottles of water a day- about 160 oz. This puts me eating only 944 calories a day, so I'm only Doing it for three days. If i feel good, and see that it's working I may keep going into Thursday and Friday but I'll probably just do it for the 3 days. I'll update on how it goes. I want to lose at least 15 pounds by my next weight management appointment on the 29th.

On the food I ate today. But I did this little workout: Calf Raises (3 sets of 10) Wall Sit (30 seconds) Plank (20 seconds... Wow) Side-lying leg raises (2 sets of 15 on each leg) Squats (30) Knee Push Ups (3 sets of 10) 10 Sit-ups (aka hell) Crunches (3 sets of 20) My abs are still on fire from my sit-ups on Monday, so that exercise sucked today. But I did up my crunches. I feel better about the push-ups, abs the wall sit. I realized I originally didn't do a plank correctly, so tonight I did it right and only got 20 seconds in before I literally fell; I could not hold myself up. Also the side-lying leg raises are a bitch on my ass muscles. Gonna get that good butt.

It's been too long since my last update, but last week was a whirlwind. I met someone ☺️. He's very sweet and we went out to dinner multiple times. So I decided to just relax on the diet and exercise, and just spend time with him. In the beginning of last week I went to the nutrition class for the vsg, I learned a bit. But I knew a lot too, thanks to you guys on here. Your stories and advice have already helped me so much. Of course they weighed me and I was down 1 pound from the last time I was in. About a week before that. Progress is progress no matter how small. Now I'm sure I gained back that pound and probably a couple more over the weekend. But I have no regrets. I'm back on it today. I had my lemon water first thing this morning. Which kept my metabolism under control until about 7 this evening, then I was starting to crave everything. Eventually I just brushed my teeth and came to my room. Once I brushed my teeth I knew I wouldn't eat again. I was going to just go to sleep, but I felt guilty for not going to the gym. So I did about 30-45 minutes of very slow; relaxed bedroom floor exercises. Which included: 25 sit-ups 10 knee push-ups Crunches (3 sets of 10) 1 minute plank Side-lying leg raises (3 sets of 15 each leg) 15 sec wall sit (pathetic) Calf raises (2 set of 10) 25 squats I have a new goal to work on that wall sit. I really expected myself to do better than that. Now I'm about to call my boyfriend 😍 and then go to sleep. Tomorrow will be a good day. I can do this. I will do this. Good vibes only. ✌🏻️

Tonight I talked myself out of going to the gym. Again. BUT THEN I talked myself back into going! AND I WENT. and I did my whole workout! And I feel so good about it. So good. I'm kinda hungry right now, but I'm going to sleep and deal with it in the morning.