#first entry

Sketch compilation because I want and I can and I spent 90% of my creativity on day 19.

first one is for the memory of a fic I swear I'll eventually find again to tag here, the rest are for stuff I wrote or plan to write for next prompts! There will be more! Amen! [Bonus handmade cancerigen sketches below too]

Dear diary,

Today I made a Tumblr account because apparently consuming media wasn't enough. Now I need to document it too.

I'm not entirely sure what belongs here yet...

Thoughts about magazines I couldn't set down, songs I can't stop listening to, films that leave me staring at the credits wondering 'what the heck did I just watched and when can I watch it again?!' Articles, essays, poetry, paintings, podcasts, fashion, theatre- just about everything and anything that happens to linger in my mind for longer than a New York minute.

A place to keep track of what I'm consuming, what I'm loving, what I'm questioning, and what conclusions I happen to come to in the middle of showering.

But I also hope it becomes a conversation.

Filled with recommendations, disagreements, discussions, other peoples favourites that might become my own. I hope I'm challenged. I hope I change my mind about things. I hope I'm introduced to things I never would have found on my own

For now, though, this is the first entry, the first invitation...

That's all for now,

“BEHOLD! At last!”

“The first entry of our recipe book!”

“I tried to write without the letters slanting and I don’t love it, so I’ll be switching back to my usual writing even though it looks less uniform.”

“Eventually, we’ll be typing these all up and getting pictures for them and printing and binding up a big professional looking cookbook. But that’s a big step. We’re just collecting our first few recipes right now.”

Hey, stranger. Or maybe not so strange.

Welcome to this evolving archive of fragments—sound, code, memory, feeling. Part journal, part junkyard, part signal drifting through static. I made this space to pour the things that don't always make sense in the real world: sonic sketches, glitchy thoughts, half-healed reflections, and digital poetry written at 2AM.

Some days it'll feel like a melody, some days like an error message. That's kind of the point.

they are sooo magical and beautiful...

then, I watched Code Geass...

and there... I first met my virtual 'husbando' in the name of Lelouch vi Brittania.

a character that is the main protagonist but chose something more akin to an antagonist in general idea of other viewers as we saw Suzaku Kururugi as the hero and him, as a tyrant manipulative villain of his own story...

that is the start why I became fascinated with villains such as Muzan Kibutsuji, Ryomen Sukuna, and Dabi / Touya Todoroki. not because they are so... hot 🥵... but because of the stories behind their life, reasons and goal. that unfortunately, doesn't match with the moral code of our and their society.

so whenever I write my own antagonists, they are actually the ones with the most detailed backstory because villains were not born, but made... and I believed in it not as an anime lover, reader, admirer but also as a writer.

just... saying... (I feel so flustered...)

Dear reader,

You are not supposed to be here but now that you're reading this, I guess it's only fair to welcome you to my secret journal.

Who I am is no longer necessary. Unfortunately, we don't do introductions here. If you’re curious enough, keep reading. I reveal myself in fragments—some sharp, some soft—but never all at once. One journal entry at a time.

I once had a Tumblr account. A very pretentious one. I don't know if you've been to 2013 Tumblr where people want to be a part of a Follow Train and join Follow4follow promos. I mostly did "reblogs" and never created a post. I reblog whatever fits the aesthetic of my blog. God, it was so fake! I wanted to reblog a meme so bad, but I couldn't, because a dog named Doge does not fit my minimalistic, soft grunge, mental-breakdown-but-make-it-art, sad-bitch-energy blog vibe.

I was 11 when I started writing. I found my voice at 16. My writing skill peaked when I was 19, and by 25, it died. It is ironic because it is at that very age that I started working as a ghostwriter.

The reason why I'm back on Tumblr is to rekindle the fire in me. Writing became more of a job instead of something that I enjoy. It is no longer rewarding after 2+ years of working as a ghostwriter. I forgot how it feels to write in your own voice, to read your thoughts, and to reflect on your soul.

I started this blog to quietly release the things I’ve kept buried—truths unsaid, secrets too heavy, and lies I’ve only ever told myself. They were meant for no one… and yet, I’d like to share them with you. The catch? You can’t know who I am.

So if you’re here, let’s agree to stay hidden.

Whatever I post here is personal. You are welcome to ask or comment. Just don't go telling anyone about this blog. Let the ghosts lead them into this dungeon, and let them find me.

By the way, this isn’t the gateway to the deep dark web. I do not mean to creep you out— it's just the aesthetic that I want to pull off.