#findinginnerpeace

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She is on a celebratory moment and I don't want to be the rain on her parade just because I was struggling.

So I partied with the crowd, giving away my warmth knowing that there is a funeral in my heart and mind and I will soon feel the cold.

Then that someone struggled and they wept with her. Envy crept into my system because I know I won't get to collect the same amount of tears.

It's my time to throw a party but nobody went because it would be a disrespect to her sorrow. I wept too because I should.

I chose to take another route, on a mission to find my self and experience true healing. I left without a word knowing that they would not find me.

They thought I am lost because they couldn't find me on the place where they last saw me. On the place where I was alone. They attempted to follow but she needed them more than the idea of getting back that one lost black sheep. So they stayed.

They convinced me to go back and put a halt on my journey.

I didn't...

I'm building my new home in a new place I have found. Nobody knew where this is. I'm glad because I could now find my peace. I'm slowly turning myself to a good party host for my willing "partygoers". I know they would also weep with me when the storm will come and destroy my new home. Nothing fancy but it's all worth it.

It's not the same anymore. I couldn't give my all because I know I would be left with nothing. It's on me.. because I was needy.. that's the problem. I am not blaming you for anything but how I wish you would just asked me if I was okay. Would I stay? Definitely.

Goodbye, see you again "my people (past tense)"

This past weekend has clearly helped me recognize that I do long to be longed. I really do crave a love so deep that I would stop feeling tired and feel that sense of security, unfortunately, though I am more fortunate than others, there is this desire for security and wanting to have someone dependable… I am so tired of being strong, growing up alone… I feel that I have locked myself in Neverland because I refused to go at it alone..

So I waited. I am still waiting. Still longing. Still craving a love so deep that the ocean would be jealous.

Finding inner peace is having self-acceptance, when you know how to achieve it. It’s as simple as having to prove yourself to every person you come into contact with, because let’s face it, you matter and there is no need for you to have to prove yourself, slightly harder letting go of the voice in your head and just letting things be.

Inner peace comes through acceptance and us just being happy with ourselves. Its path can be long or short depending on whether personal inner conflicts are resolved. The more we understand other people’s reasoning behind their deeds, the more we will understand them, the more inner peace we will have.

Practices such as Zen teaches us to ask more questions, to understand everything we need, to come to understand. The more questions we ask the more we will understand. Where religion may push judgment and dogma that define us, Taoism works in the opposite way.

With Taoism, you learn truth is what you discover for yourself on your own terms and that everything is relative. Its teaching although initially hard to grasp, are necessary in helping us find inner peace. We have our own truths and the universal truths and combined they work well, as long as we work in shaping those values.

It reaches the point of acceptance where “as you are” become the answer for the majority of the questions we face.

Source: https://personaltao.com