Alright Im going to piss people off here and frankly I dont care, but be warned. If you have or plan to have a picture taken with your favourite celebrity where you could be mistaken for a couple, you're not going to like this post. Instead of getting aggy with me about it, you could instead try therapy.
With that said, photo ops are a fun way to get a little bit of time with a celebrity and come away with a cool momento. I have no problem with photo ops as a whole, if I went to a con and had the money Id 100% do it. The problem is some of the photos fans ask for. The poses. It crosses a line and it needs to be talked about until it stops happening.
I'm using real photo op examples, mainly Supernatural and Sebastian Stan. The fans in question are emojid for privacy, and we're not calling names or being assholes. We're talking about the poses, not specifically the people.
So let's look at the good, the bad, and the brilliant of photo ops.
Instead of having photos with J3 and Baby like you've been caught just before a romantic kiss:
You could try just... standing (Trust Moose to be using her as a leaning post, freaking giant 🤣):
Instead of posing like a couple in an intimate embrace (Goddamn it Sebastian, you are so fucking bad at allowing this shit):
I know, i know, "The Black Widow ones are just character role play" blah blah blah. Its still inappropriate. Youre not an actor, this isn't a set, you are a fan and he us a celebrity who is a stranger.
You could try being a big goofy goober:
Honorable mention for the Annabelle Special
Instead of whatever the fuck this is:
You could just not. Sweet baby Jesus. NO!!!! Don't do this, don't ask for this, don't even consider this! NO!!!
Personally, I find these specific pictures uncomfortably close to too intimate:
But not this one:
I think it's the direction they're looking. Gazing into each others faces feels more intimate. Also obviously the inclusion of Hayley standing there like a plum is just hilarious.
Have fun, but dont try and recreate a romantic fantasy in photo form. Because its really weird, and Im almost certain makes the person youre having a photo with feel incredibly uncomfortable. They say yes because you paid for a photo, and they dont know if youre a "takes rejection like a champ" fan or a "will potentially cause myself and others genuine harm if rejected" fan. Have fun, these are silly and fun and you still get the hug or hand hold without it crossing lines:
These are some fun, silly ideas for a photo op:
This... OK this isnt for most, but it is so ridiculously cool. Ive never seen anything like it, A++++
If youre going to have security, an angel of the lord and two legendary hunters are your best bet.
I have no words, this is just so silly.
Awkward sibling photo? Nailed it! 😂
So cute 😍
You could even do a fun little franchise/ fandom reference:
Almost all Cas costume ops have the potential to be incredible.
🤣🤣🤣 Outstanding!
Honestly, this is probably the single greatest photo op Ive ever seen. Impeccable.
Oh look, its Bobby-John!
It again comes down to the same thing: Would you like it if the roles were reversed? If a stranger came up to you at a photo op and asked you to recreate the cover of an old school romance book, would you be comfortable? If they asked to press your head into their cleavage would you be comfortable? If they asked for a romantic embrace would you be comfortable?
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A few people have mentioned the latest fandom drama to me, involving harassments and potential loss of yet another author.
I just want to say, about this situation specifically, that wow. These two people handled this SO WELL. I'm just really proud of the author speaking up, keeping records, and making time to speak to (and listen to) the offending party and their sister. (Especially with respect to the sister, who honestly seems to have some very serious mental issues and/or neurodivergence that did not warrant a public stoning.)
I am dealing with drama in my own life right now that involves a lot of people who are, like, 50 and 70 years old, and no one is handling their issues as well as these two people did, with their willingness to communicate, confront the problem, and work on a resolution.
What I'd really like to emphasize about this entire episode is that harassment is in the eyes of the beholder. It's very educational to read all the comments (go read the gDoc link) and realize how they add up to significant emotional distress and also to see how the commenter might have... perceived many of them very differently.
What this means to you, readers, is tread very lightly when you comment. What you think may be simply informative or slightly chiding can be landing with an impact you'd never fathom. Go read all the examples of the comments to understand how nebulous some of them can be if taken individually, but how they can also turn into a very damaging deluge. (I mean, lots of them are clearly hateful, but some are not.)
Most importantly, I think: EXIT A STORY THAT IS MAKING YOU ANGRY. This seems like advice we all need tattooed on our inner wrists. When it goes somewhere you don't like, don't tell the author. Just exit. If you are angry or hurt or feeling negative: DON’T COMMENT. BACK OUT.
This fandom in particular has lost more authors due to harassing or ‘educational’ comments than any other I’ve ever been involved in. We really need to be more careful.
How To Interact With Beta Readers - for Fanfic Authors
I wanted to make posts both for fic authors and beta readers, because I realized in several recent interactions that some helpful unwritten rules of fandom seem to have become lost to people who are new to it.
This isn't meant to be a call-out post against anyone to say 'you did it wrong!' (really, how could anyone be mad if you just didn't know any better), and there aren't even any definite rules for anything - but I just thought these things might be nice to know and helpful to share around. This first part will be @ the authors, the second part is @ the betas.
Asking for a beta reader
When you want someone to look through your fic, whether you ask in a tumblr post, @/helper in a discord server, in the notes of an already posted work or anywhere else, it's important to state both a) what the work that you want betad is and b) what you want from a beta reader.
The facts about the story.
The first most important facts about the story are a) length (in wordcount, as that is the most-used measurement for fanfiction - you can see it below the tags of an ao3 draft, or at the bottom left of a Word document), and b) rating and warnings. No, please don't just ask 'i have a fic for xy ship to beta' - that's nice information, but not helpful for someone who needs to decide whether they a) have the time to work on the length of fic and b) are willing to be confronted with the kind of content you have written.
In addition to that, you should of course also write what fandom, characters and dynamic it is about, because most beta readers are only willing to beta stories they would also usually read for fun. To make sure that the right people find the ask for a beta reader, you best target the post to them, so tag a tumblr post with the fandom and ship etc, and on discord share the request in a server or channel for the fandom, not an unrelated one.
What format is the draft in?
A word document you can send them via e-mail, a copy-pasted text in a direct message, link access to a google docs? Not everyone is comfortable with all of these methods, and you need to figure out one that works for the both of you.
Also, do you want the changes made directly in the text, in comment functions of the document, or as messages to you? If for example you send someone a Word document, and don't want them to change anything directly in your text, but they aren't comfortable working with the comment function there and end up writing you separate messages telling you what page and line the edits are one, that's going to be a lot more work for you to look through than you might have liked, so make sure to communicate it all beforehand and figure out a way that works properly for everyone.
What do you want from your beta?
'Well, to look over the story, duh?' but it's not that easy. Do you want the beta to:
- Only check for spelling and grammar mistakes in comments next to the text, No other suggestions at all because they would make you feel bad about your work/you don't have the time or want to spend the time on editing anything but honest mistakes/ any other reason?
- Grammar and spelling checks but also suggestions for word flow, repetitive words and phrases that could be changed and stylistic things like adding paragraph breaks (which are always nice to have for mobile reading)?
- [same as above] and also point out possible logic flaws and places where you might want to move a scene forward or back, or suggestions to things you could add to the story, with explanations as to why?
- [same as above] and also give suggestions for text you could cut that is unnecessary to the story or interrupting the flow of a scene in the opinion of your beta reader?
- Include nice messages as to what the beta liked best of the fic, or stay completely objective?
- Point out things they subjectively didn't like and would change about the story if they wrote it themselves, or not?
- Make corrections directly in the story, so afterwards you barely need to look at it anymore before you can publish it, or only give suggestions in comments or messages?
All of these are things some people welcome and others find incredibly annoying and/or hurtful! So make sure to communicate exactly what you are looking for. You don't have to do so in your initial public request, but once you have found a potential beta, you should text them the details before giving them access to your fic.
Do not be afraid of cancelling on a beta if you don't think it is going to work out! Whether because they aren't comfortable using the format you like to use, are a language teacher who can't stop correcting the long sentences you choose to keep as a stylistic choice, or just someone you don't vibe with, whether it's before or after they have started beta reading - be kind, but let them know that it just isn't working out, and that you would rather stop now before either of you wastes any more time and effort. If they want you to, you can tell them what you would have liked them to do differently, but don't ask someone to change how they are, and don't give unsolicited criticism, no, not even to a beta reader.
Decide on a time-frame
When are you going to send them the fic? Chapter by chapter over the next days, or the entire work? When do you want or need the work to be beta read? Is it for a challenge or gift exchange and needs to be finished on the same day, or can they wait for the weekend? Even if you don't have a specific deadline, when do you want them to send it back at the latest?
Working with a beta reader
After - or, if you are in for example a google docs at the same time, while - your beta reader does the corrections, you should look at them and decide which corrections you want to keep, and which to disregard. This is entirely your decision, it is your story, you don't need to feel bad if you don't take all of the suggestions for your work, even if you end up only correcting the spelling mistakes and ignoring everything else, it's your decision and this is fine.
If your beta gave suggestions for additional scenes or sentence changes, you can let them know once you have new text for them to correct, but keep in mind that they might no longer have time or energy to beta now, and don't be disappointed if they tell you this or don't reply. They already helped you, and you can always look for a new beta if you feel that your story still needs it.
Crediting your beta reader
Where are you uploading your fic, and how does your beta reader want to be credited? You best talk about this beforehand as well, as some betas only want to work on something when they will get the credit on a platform they are also on.
When posting on tumblr, it is usually expected to @ the person who helped you and write their url or tracked tag in the #s as well, but make sure to ask beforehand, as maybe they don't want other people to know they beta because they don't want to get swamped in work requests/ they don't want their url associated with for example explicit work/ they want you to tag a sideblog for the fandom instead of their main url.
On ao3, you can link to another author's dashboard or profile page (ask which one they prefer) in the notes by first going to the work text - rich text, writing their name, clicking the link symbol, pasting the url, going back to HTML text and cut-pasting the code to the note you want to have it in. You can do the prep work in a new work instead of your actual draft so you won't accidentally cut any of the work text. Again, ask the person beforehand whether they want to be linked there, or just want a nickname or their tumblr url credited.
You can also gift people works on ao3, and while this is in no way a requirement and most beta readers won't ask for it, just about everyone is happy to receive ao3 gifts! You can ask them beforehand if they want that, but as people can accept and refuse gifts on ao3 themselves, you can also let it be a surprise.
If your beta put a lot of work into your fic and wrote parts of it themselves, you can also make them a co-creator of the work on ao3, but only do this if you know and trust the person, as they will gain access to the fic and will be able to edit everything just like you.
Let me know if I missed anything, and I will update the post!
This post will include discussion on Sebastian Stan and Annabelle Wallis, particularly at Cannes.
Before I say anything else I need to make the following abundantly clear:
Generative AI is a technological evolution we do not need. It is potentially environmentally devastating, it uses an insane amount of resources that should be used elsewhere and is having serious negative impacts on the communities the data centres are set up in. Using it to summarise information (like books) is making us dumber and removes nuance and the ability to make up our own minds about what we consume. Using it to create art removes the humanity of the art and devalues humans in creative spaces. Companies want to use AI to remove pesky humans (who need fair working conditions, safety, and pay) from creating art and media so they can maximise their profits at our expense. If you use gen AI you are a terrible person. Its not, as some claim, accessibility, its creation for the uncreative. I said what I said.
Now thats out of the way, let's remember celebrities are human beings with feelings?
For as long as there have been public figures, there has been a want and need to gossip about them, for one reason or another. And as humanity developed and cash became King, profiting from gossip became a lucrative business model. It fed the publics need for details, even if those details were false. Innuendo, carefully selected pictures that implied a story, and even straight out fictions sold magazines and eventually add space on websites. Its revolting, but until people stop caring, it is what it is.
Magazines and websites have published photoshopped images in their bid to sell more gossip to the masses, knowingly and unknowingly, and with the rise in AI this will only get worse. People already lie about encounters, create deepfakes, and photoshop images to create a narrative for their own gain. Now they have a more convincing way to do this than ever, thats easy to use, requires very little effort, and gets better every day.
Fans are not innocent in this, but they tend not to be scrutinised the same way when they lie and create fake images. Its seen as quirky, and innocent. But it isnt. Its toxic, parasocial, and deeply worrying. We already have people using photoshop and commissioning art that creates images of themselves and their celebrity crush in romantic or compromising positions. From a romantic stroll to outright explicit pornographic images, its happening. AI will make that worse.
Bet we cant kid ourselves that parasocial fans only exist when they have a crush on a celebrity. There are fandoms for child influences, families, and celebrity relationships that blur the line between fantasy and reality. Fans feeling they have some kind of bond or personal relationship with the person theyre fans of. Fan pages that border on unsettling, stalkers... Its terrifying out there. Calling strangers your parents, strangers children your neices and nephews, creating entire fictional fantasy lives for people you dont know. And then fighting anyone that doesn't agree.
This past few days at Cannes we have had a prime example of parasocial fakery in fandom spaces. But you might need some background to understand it.
In 2022 two things happened within months of each other: Sebastian Stan started being linked romantically to Annabelle Wallis, and he stopped using social media. Eventually it was confirmed that Sebastian and Annabelle were dating, but they claimed a want for privacy and have never openly discussed their relationship or posted each other on social media, which is unlike his past relationships that he frequently posted on his Instagram at least. Annabelle has baited in stories but thats another thing entirely. They've done a few appearances at events, there have been pap walks, but for the most part its been hush hush. Now, the relationship PR strategy both teams use is a fucking shitshow, but again, just the bare bones so this will make sense if youre not involved in either fandom.
Some fans, ostensibly of Sebastian, latched on to this relationship like it was a religion, and they are known as Shippers. They seem to care more about the relationship than either person in it. Very odd. Anyone who doesn't like Annabelle, doesn't like the relationship, or thinks its just PR, are called Anti-Shippers or Antis. Shippers behave like the success of this relationship is inextricably linked to their own survival, and so they just make up all sorts of shit. They have created a rich fantasy, where Sebastian and Annabelle are so wildly in love and happy, so completely perfectly synced, and any evidence to the contrary is met with vile insults and rhetoric. Regardless of what you think about the relationship or the people in it, its deeply unsettling that they behave like this.
Not too long ago, TMZ "leaked" the news that the couple were expecting. There was no official confirmation from either team. Then came a run of pap walks of Annabelle. Still silence. Now, I should note noone is required to discuss their personal life, but there is suspicion around everything thats gone on. Then with Cannes approaching Deadline released an interview with Sebastian where he didn't mention becoming a dad, but the interviewer did. A few times.
Shippers were waiting for some kind of official confirmation, some kind of big loving display, and they decided that Cannes was going to be where that happened. The first official event since the leak, no-one knew if Annabelle would be there, but they were certain that not only would she be, but that Sebastian would be a doting father to be, he wouldn't be able to keep his hands off of Annabelle or her growing bump, that they would be besotted with each other and their red carpets together would be a magical love fest.
That didn't happen. Not even close.
Now Im happy that Cannes mainly stayed about the film and not the baby. They were both there, it was frankly weird, and the more gossip fuelled publications focused on her pregnancy, but for the most part it was about the work.
This didn't go down well with Shippers. They did a red carpet, but it wasnt a love in and Sebastian didn't touch her bump. He continued to barely talk about the elephant in the room (fair, again), and anything that wasn't a posed shot looked like they didn't want to be there together. This threatened the Shippers fantasy. So they just made shit up. First excuses. Then... Well... Take a look.
The first image is stolen from @thetruthfiles-backup and the second is mine
A fan created, and shared excitedly like it was real, a photoshopped picture of Sebastians Instagram, claiming he had posted one of the red carpet pictures of him and Annabelle. He didn't, obviously. But the message was clear: He was so excited and proud of the first official event for his growing family, the confirmation of the pregnancy, that he broke his four year social media embargo to post it. This is what their fantasy required, this what they needed, him to post her on his socials like his exes, especially now she was pregnant. But it didn't happen, so they invented it. Easily debunked, you just need to go on his profile, but still so weird and inappropriate.
Its not the worst.
Stolen from @damnmmmmmmmmmm
These are AI. This never happened. As I said, his hand didn't go near her bump at any point that we saw. But the Shippers needed it. They needed this. The fantasy needed him to be so publicly overjoyed that he wasnt just cradling her bump lovingly, but was kneeling to kiss it in front of photographers. Really showing the Antis whatfor. And this is harder to debunk, if you weren't watching clips, you might think these were real. Its so fucking creepy.
Like a lot of celebrities, if not most, as far as I know Sebastian doesn't want his image manipulated by AI. Particularly not like this. What kind of fan are you where your fantasy about his relationship is more important than his actual thoughts and feelings?
If you are someone attached to a relationship that you're not a part of, especially between two people that dont know you from Adam, that you feel like you need to fake images when reality doesn't match your fantasy, then in with the utmost sincerity: You need to seek immediate professional help. This isnt normal. Its not safe. Its incredibly unhealthy and worrying. Your worth isn't tied to them. What will you do if they break up? How far will you go to protect this fantasy?
And most importantly: How would you feel if the roles were reversed? I genuinely dont think you'd like it at all.
This is going to blow some of your minds, so brace yourself, but every single human deserves privacy, even if you're famous.
I say this might shock you because some people have no boundaries and no respect for the privacy of celebrities. Or their friends and families.
And yes, as much as I never intended for this to be a Sebastian Stan blog, he will be mentioned because otherwise no-one reads the poxy thing 🤣🤣
I may have mentioned this first example before, but for the life of me I don't know if writing about it was a real life thing or some kind of hallucination where I think I wrote something but didn't.
Chris Evans is a great example of fans going completely nuts and ignoring any boundaries between his professional and private life. His family and friends had to remove any mention of him from their social media, and have not posted about him since, because of fans pilling into their content to just go off about him and Alba. Some even, I believe, set their accounts to private. But the issue isn't just shit talking his partner on their posts, which is bad enough, it's fans going on their accounts at all. They're, for the most part, not part of his professional life. His family and friends who aren't in the industry should be able to exist without his fans swarming them for any information or hints about his life.
Stalking is an invasion of privacy.
The last few days, although not for the first time, Sebastians fans (and I suppose Annabelles, if any actual fans of hers exist) fans have been all over accounts related to Annabelle trying to work out whether the most recent blind item is true. Friends, family, they're all fair game apparently. Not to mention those who tried and in some cases succeeded in getting onto Emily's private instagram. Such is the desperation for any and all baiting and clues, that appropriate behaviour goes out the window. It's weird. I didn't even know Annabelle had a brother but apparently a lot of Sebastians fans and even haters are constantly checking his posts, his likes, his comments. And someone who may be Annabelles sister in law? IDK. The pictures were on my Tumblr feed, I don't know the family tree. And nor do I want to. Not because it's Annabelle, but because it's none of my business. It's completely unrelated to the work Sebastian and Annabelle do.
And no, I dont think people should have to set their accounts to private just because they have a connection to a celebrity. Many have business they run, and those accounts too get swarmed. People should be able have publicly accessible social media without people picking everything apart for any clues about their famous friend or relative. Especially if theyre not well known as knowing that person. I mean jesus, going from account to account to create a tree of connections you can check in on is weird.
A non-exhaustive list of behaviours that are not OK:
Buying gossip magazines and reading gossip blogs is an invasion of privacy.
Paparazzi taking pictures of celebrities going about their day is an invasion of privacy.
Blind items are an invasion of privacy.
Trying to find out what a couples children look like is an invasion of privacy.
Trying to work out when and where someone is having a baby is an invasion of privacy.
Trying to find and access personal, secret social media accounts is an invasion of privacy.
Snooping through peoples pictures on instagram so you can work out what the inside of someones house looks like is an invasion of privacy.
Trying and find out any information that a celebrity hasn't freely offered to the public themselves is an invasion of privacy.
Trying to find out where a celebrity lives and going to their home, whether you knock or just stare at it, is an invasion of privacy.
Trying to listen in on someone's conversations or look at their phone is an invasion of privacy. And that goes double if you then share it.
Trying to get pictures of or details about someone's wedding is an invasion of privacy.
Inspecting what someone buys at the shops is an invasion of privacy.
Once again, it comes down to this: If you wouldn't like it done to you, dont do it to others. Would you like people photographing you grocery shopping? Would you like pictures of your text messages taken by strangers over your shoulder online? Would you like people posting pictures of your children online?
No? Then stop participating in it in fandom spaces.
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I feel like that should go without saying but apparently it does not.
You shouldn't know more about a person than they know about themselves and theres a fine, fine line between a super-fan and a stalker. One that is easily crossed, and that the fan may not see issue with because they dont see a problem with their increasingly problematic behaviour.
Edvasian on Youtube has an interesting video on stalking in Idol Culture, which I'll add at the end for anyone interested.
Using Action Against Stalking as a source, let's take a quick look at stalking in general:
"It can be difficult to know if you’re a target for anti-social behaviour, harassment or are being stalked by someone. Behaviours can vary from what appears trivial to the obviously serious.
Ask yourself these FOUR questions about the person’s behaviour:
Fixated?
Obsessive?
Unwanted?
Repeated?
If the behaviour of the other person appears fixated, obsessive, is unwanted and repeated, and is causing you fear and/or alarm then you may be the victim of stalking.
Stalking can occur both offline and online, or a combination of both. Online stalking, or cyber-stalking, includes actions such as:
Contacting someone via social media or messaging apps
Tracking social media activity
Hacking into devices or accounts
Accessing private information through phones or computers
Sending unwanted messages, calls, or threats
Sharing personal information or images without consent
Stalking can be criminal, non-criminal or a mixture of both and could be considered harmless in isolation – it is the course of conduct which is a crime.
Stalking has a terrible impact on victims, leaving them traumatised for weeks, months and even years. This can be the primary goal of a stalker. Other offenders are oblivious to the feelings of the person they’re targeting and are only focused on their own motivations and needs.
Victims frequently feel helpless and experience chronic stress, anxiety, depression, and PTSD symptoms. This can also lead to physical health issues such as disrupted sleep, headaches, fatigue, and poor concentration. Some may resort to unhealthy coping behaviours like smoking, substance abuse, or even self-harm.
Stalkers come from various backgrounds and motivations, often driven by obsession, rejection, or mental health issues. While some are aware of the harm they cause, others may not recognise the severity of their actions. There are many types of stalkers, these are:
Stalkers often claim various justifications for their behaviour, such as feeling wronged, unable to accept a breakup, wanting to start a relationship with someone uninterested, or being a sexual predator. Some may have a serious mental disorder or manipulate others into assisting them.
At the core of stalking is the mistaken belief that one person can force another to listen, pay attention, or comply with their wishes.
While some stalkers know their actions are criminal, they fail to consider the consequences, while others believe they have a valid reason. However, regardless of their justification, if the behaviour is repeated, unwanted, and causes fear or alarm, it is likely a serious criminal offence with severe consequences."
Stalking used to be more of a niche activity. It wasnt rare, but it was less acceptable. Sure, fans would follow celebrities around, especially to events, but it wasnt as pervasive and normalised. And the internet and smart phones and social media have really made it so much easier.
There are groups of fans that work together to make sighting maps, to tag and highlight regularly used businesses, to find home addresses, to track and log every piece of information they can to best be able to follow their idol. They use paparazzi news, in person sightings, social media posts and rumour to create these maps, which may or may not be literal maps. That's gang stalking, in case youre wondering. Its very much not normal or acceptable.
They use this information to walk in their idols footsteps and hopefully meet them. They go to the same businesses, buy the same products. And let me be clear: I dont mean they see a post or picture of their idols with a specific drink from a specific coffee chain, go to their local chain and buy the same drink to try. That's being influenced, its normal, hell thats why "influencer" is a job and why brands hire celebrities to advertise their products. Im talking about people who go to the specific location their idols went to, often within hours, to buy the drink, using fan available information. That's stalking. Its very inappropriate.
Now, obviously there is nuance. If the business is a single location not a chain, and youre in the area for another reason, and you decide to pop in and try the thing, thats different. If its a multi chain franchise and you go to your local location to try it, thats different.
Let me introduce you go Garage Girl, another Sebastian and by extension Annabelle stalker. Like most of the stalkers Im aware of, she could have an entire series of posts just going over her fuckery. Not today. Shes just an example today.
On November the 4th 2025 Sebastian was papped leaving an Earthbar in LA:
Within a few hours Garage Girl was at the exact same location ordering a wildly expensive smoothie of her own and posting about it on her Instagram Story:
I didn't blur the username as thats not it anymore & her profile is private because of backlash from a number of instances. Like I said. She could have a series of posts of her own.
Apparently she lives in the general vicinity but its America and I dont know what "near" means in that context. Its a big country. I can travel from one side to the other of England in the same amount of time it takes to travel across one state end to end.
Now you may not see the problem. He wasnt there, she wasnt actually following him in person, she just went to a place he had been to recently. Harmless! Except its not. She's met him, shes posted about him frequently online, she made her way into a private thanksgiving dinner with Annabelle Wallis and her friends (invited, somehow), and she had previously made it clear she saw no problem in essentially following Sebastian. Add to that that her and her husband have doxed other fans online for calling out her weird and suspicious behaviour.
Something else I find very weird is travelling to events youre not attending simply to wait outside to meet a celebrity. Especially of you frequently do it to the same celebrity (looking at you Soho Stalker). Its not necessarily always stalking, but a lit of stalkers do it, and its one of those things that can cross from weird but harmless into problematic stalking really easily. Of course if youre going to, say, a stage show and them wait outside the stage doors at the end for a photo or autograph thats different. Unless, of course, you do it over and over and over and over to the same celebrity. Fine line.
An obvious example of stalking is finding out where a celebrity lives and then hanging out around it to bump into them, or moving into the same neighbourhood as them so youre basically their neighbour and can see them all the time (you again, Soho Stalker). Some people find out what gym celebrities use and sign up, going on the off chance they'll bump into them. Others start going to the same grocery store. Others get jobs in companies that work with that celebrity. All ways to try and gain access. Very unhealthy! Dont do that.
Stalking isnt always in person, its frequently online too. With social media, gossip sites and fan accounts its easy to learn ungodly amounts of information about your celebrity du jour. As stated above you can map their movements, find out their address, and even see the inside of their homes via pictures and videos. Put that together with a troubled mind and you get the kinds of crimes I talked about here.
At one point Alba Baptista (actress and wife of Chris Evans) had a... Private... video show up on her story. People are split between a hack with leak or an accidental post (Chris has done the same, we remember The Dick Pic Incident even if we didn't witness it) and fans of Chris who hate Alba decided to send that video to his family along with tirades about what a whore his wife is, how shes not good enough for him, and so on. In fact if Im not misinformed, spamming Chris' family with messages about his relationship with Alba is common among his more unhinged fans, and is a big part of the reason Chris is no longer active on socials, Alba deactivated her Insta, and his family dont post about him/ then at all.
Celebrities themselves are clearly not the only ones stalked by fans: their families, friends, and partners who aren't in the spotlight are also frequently victims of fans need to get information about their idols life. It can be silent stalking, just checking accounts to look at pictures, all the way to getting assaulted, verbally abused online or in real life, getting spammed with messages and being threatened. All because they know the celebrity and aren't fulfilling the fans specific need. Ive talked about the danger of that here.
Being stalked is terrifying. Even the more innocent stalking behaviour from a fan that has no dark motives will feel unsettling to the celebrity because they don't know your motives, only that you keep appearing in their life and the lives of people they know and care about. And you could be a danger, if not in that moment then potentially in the future. Ive lived that fear, although thankfully only briefly, and I hope I never have to do so again. Nothing can really express the feeling of spotting someone familiar and wondering if this time is the time they snap and hurt you, all because they created a narrative in their mind about you that wasnt something you could make real.
Please, be sensible. Be respectful. Be sane. Dont stalk anyone, but for the purposes of this post, specifically dont stalk celebrities. Its not as fun for them as it probably is for you. And I can promise you, you wouldn't like it if the tables were turned.
Fandom Lesson: Marriage Certificates are not Merch to get Signed.
Good morning Lords, Ladies and Gentlefolk
Starting strong for our first proper post with something that shouldn't have to be said, but apparently does: Don't try and get celebrities to sign marriage certificates.
Joke or not, fake certificate or not, it's weird as shit.
Why am I talking about this? Well because it came to my attention today that someone had done that, not once, but twice, to Jamie Campbell Bower.
This video is of the second time. he signed the first for her, because it was a photocopy of a marriage certificate. He was such a sweetheart about it, so kind. I would not have been.
Now, I'm sure people will have a whole lot to say, mainly about my inability to take a joke and how things aren't that serious, but let me be abundantly clear: Inappropriate behaviour is inappropriate no matter the person on the receiving end.
This is weird, and completely inappropriate, and he was 100% right to not sign it. Because you never know what crazy shit people will do, and someone can say "It's a joke" "It's not real" all they like, but they could be lying through their teeth.
Would you like it? If someone you didn't actually know tried to get you to sign a contract, or a marriage certificate, in a situation where you don't have all the power and any negative reaction could be weaponised to make you seem like a horrible person, which would effect your livelihood?
Jamie isn't the only person this has happened to, and it really makes me question fans (more than I often do, I'll be honest) because... It's weird. It's really weird. And creepy. And inappropriate. Now, I wouldn't assume any of the signed certificates are legally binding, especially if there's video showing it wasn't done with actual knowledge for both parties (Scarlet Johansson) or it's clearly stated it's a joke (Louis Tomlinson), but that doesn't mean it's acceptable. You make yourself look unhinged and run the risk of being put on a No Go List if the celebrities team cares enough about their safety to do so (Not all do, I'm sure that will be covered eventually).
Is that a risk you want to take? To be banned from even approaching the person you're a fan of? Do you want to be a fan that when they see you their stomach knots and their heart sinks and they just don't want to even engage with you? Because being weird will absolutely make you that person.
How to Interact with Fanfic Authors - for Beta Readers
I wanted to make posts both for fic authors and beta readers, because I realized in several recent interactions that some helpful unwritten rules of fandom seem to have become lost to people who are new to it.
This isn't meant to be a call-out post against anyone to say 'you did it wrong!' (really, how could anyone be mad if you just didn't know any better), and there aren't even any definite rules for anything - but I just thought these things might be nice to know and helpful to share around. This part will be @ the betas, the post for authors can be found here :)
Selecting a story to beta read
If you already stumbled across someone asking for a beta reader, you can skip ahead to the next part.
What and why do you want to beta read?
Are you looking to improve your skills in finding grammar and spelling mistakes because you want to be a teacher or a parent? Are you just bored and looking for something to do? Do you want to help your friends, or anyone who happens to need help right now? Do you have time today, for an hour, or are you willing to edit 100k over the next weeks? What content are you comfortable reading and editing? Do you want to be able to show others that you beta read a story? All questions you should ask yourself and find an answer to before you go about contacting any fic authors.
If you want to practice grammar and spelling, you want to beta a story of an author who is only looking for that, and not a deeper check.
Depending on how much time you have, you should look at the wordcount of fics and only agree to beta those you have time to do in the time-frame given by the author.
To help people you know, you could ask writers you are friends with to let you know when they need a story to beta (don't ask too many at the same time, or you will get swamped in work), or make a tumblr post saying any writer mutuals of yours can ask you whether you currently have time to beta. Many fandom discords also have a @/helper role that will ping you when someone is looking for beta readers or other help. If you want to help anyone, go to the next step, otherwise skip that one.
Finding stories or authors
On tumblr and ao3, you can check out the 'beta reader wanted' tags and similar ones like 'to beta', 'fic beta wanted', 'looking for beta reader', etc. If you are looking for a specific fandom on tumblr, you probably have to be willing to scroll for a while, as most people don't tag things with '[fandom] beta reader wanted', and even if you would have to check many different tag variants to even find a single fic. On ao3, you can search for a fandom or pairing and then filter for the beta tags (one at a time).
On ao3, some authors also allow beta work of completed stories - but make sure to only do it on works of authors who are comfortable with this, do not give unsolicited advice or criticism! No matter how 'helpful' or 'constructive'! Comments with beta work without the author asking for it in notes or profile are anything but nice.
Most authors won't be mad at you if you point out a typo or two, but still check the notes of the fic and the author's profile for whether they actively state that they do not want this kind of beta work, and if you do end up leaving a comment, make sure to a) include something you liked about the story, so the author doesn't just check their inbox to get disappointed with a 'here's a typo' message, b) ask whether they want you to keep doing so in the future or rather not, and c) always stay polite.
For anything more than a single typo or grammar mistake, you should ask the author - best in a dm if you can find their tumblr - whether they are looking for a beta reader for this story of theirs that you enjoyed reading. Still leaving a nice comment on the fic first will help your beta/author relationship along, trust me :) Again, before you ask to beta, check the notes and profile or of they have an about section on their tumblr or other sites to find out whether your help might not be welcome, as perhaps for them a fic, once posted, is not going to be edited anymore.
You can also specifically look through the profiles of authors you like, to check not just for whether or not they are alright with corrections and/or constructive criticism, but also for whether they are actively looking for a beta reader!
Working with a fic author
Once you are in contact with an author, you need to find out whether you are really compatible, to then work together well.
Preparation: clarifying what you can, should and will do for the author
What does the author want you to look for? Examples can be found on the post for fic authors. Most authors will tell you without prompting, but some might not know that clarification is necessary/ are so used to their kind of betaing that they didn't think to/ plain forgot about it. In this case, you shouldn't just make assumptions - even if you worked with the author before, they might want different things for different fics, depending on length or how important a story is to them etc, so ask what exactly they want you to do.
Make sure the instructions cover the kind of beta work, the format (directly in the text, tracked editing functions, comment next to the text or direct messages), the content of the fic if there is anything you wouldn't want to read (rating, pairings, warnings), and the time frame in which they need the work to be ready to post.
Once you know what is wanted, really think about whether you are able to do as requested. If you can't - whether because you won't finish it in time or because you can't or don't want to do the kind of beta work they need (I for example hate to only beta spelling and grammar without also correcting wordflow, I would do it for a short fic but I won't agree to beta something longer if I can't bring in my own opinion at least a little), and honestly say what you won't do and why. If it doesn't work out, they will just have to look for a new beta, and there's no shame in that.
The actual beta work
Only do as much as the author asked you to, and do that well! You know what works best for you - reading the entire text first, then going through it again to beta, or starting with the corrections and suggestions immediately. Don't correct or suggest things they haven't asked for, it is not a curtsy but might even be hurtful unsolicited criticism.
If you aren't sure about something, for example a grammar rule, either look it up or honestly tell the author that there may or may not be a mistake there and they should check it out.
Be nice! Phrase your comments in a friendly way, and unless the author told you not to, you can even write additional notes pointing out things you especially liked.
Don't expect the author to accept all of your corrections and suggestions into the final text! You may think they would improve the work, but it is their decision, and maybe they have a specific writing style they want to stick to, or any other reason to ignore a suggestion. Don't argue about any of this.
Being credited as beta reader
Do you want to be credited for your beta work? If so, you should tell the author in advance so they can decide whether or not they agree to this, and to the way you will be credited, whether in name mention only, @ on tumblr or link on ao3.
Let me know if I missed anything, and I will add it to the post!
The post for fanfic authors about dealing with beta readers can be found here.
