#parasocial behavior

WHO will be left? Don't worry. ​The void will be filled alright, BUT by narcissists and clout chasers.

The only people left willing to endure or feed into this level of boundarylessness will be people who crave pathological attention at any cost. Then go home and make fun of the same lunatics that pay their bills.

​The content will get worse. Shows will no longer be written for plot, depth, or artistic merit, they will be written as cheap vehicles to feed the fan service machine. (And I DISLIKE that possibility VERY MUCH)

​It is unhinged If your fandom experience relies on an actor being locked in a sterile void where they can only interact with one specific co worker ✨️for the rest of their natural life✨️, you don't need fan content, you need to check yourself into an asylum, FAST.

'But I feel soooo connected!!!!'

​Look, I get it. Contrary to popular belief, I am actually a ✨️human being✨️. I have feelings. I get emotionally attached to shows, characters, media, and artists. I know what it's like to find a piece of media that hits you so hard in the chest you make it your entire personality for three months. Emotional resonance is normal.

​What is not normal is forgetting that the media you love is a product, not a personal friend.

​No matter how deeply a show touched your soul, that media (and the actors performing in it), is a machine operating on a screen.

It doesn't know you exist. It cannot return your feelings.

Processing a fictional storyline is human, convincing yourself that you have a personal, spiritual claim over the real humans paid to play those roles is a terrifying break from reality.

Put yourself in their shoes for ten seconds (if you even have the capacity for empathy left).

​How would you feel if thousands of complete strangers online picked apart every single interaction you had with your friends, family, or coworkers? Imagine having your every glance dissected, your private life stalked, and your actual relationships invalidated because it doesn't fit a fictional script written by a corporate board. I, for once, would start committing arson left and right.

​And don't even get me started about the relentless speculation regarding these actors' actual sexualities, real life romantic partners, and private friendships. It is weird. It is deeply, fundamentally creepy. It is EVERYTHING but normal.

If I see one more 'They are obviously all staight and calling them queer is disrespectful, so I have to PERSONALLY defend them from the gross queer allegations' from homophobes on social media, I will start getting violent. (I am only putting this one in, and not the other way around, because I am YET to see a real life queer person saying it the other way around)

Listen to the sound of my voice : They can ALL be the straightest straights in the history of straight, THAT DOES NOT MEAN THAT HOMOPHOBIA IN A QUEER SPACE IN ANYTHING OTHER THEN DISRESPECTFUL!!!

I don't give a FUCK what they are or aren't, you have NO RIGHT, to disrespect MY community and watch queer people loving each other in the same breath.

Our sexualities and lived experiences are not fantasies. No matter how much some of you wished that they were.

All of this to say : F U C K right O F F .

The bottom line being ​: Enjoy the show. Buy the merch if you want. Appreciate the acting. But for the love of fuck, get fucking jobs, get hobbies, get friends, respect basic human boundaries, and remember that famous people are strangers who owe you nothing beyond the performance you paid to watch.

​Stop making it weird for the rest of us. I am SICK of allllllll of youuuuuu.

Thank you for coming to my crash out.

​

I know that whenever people say "I have some thoughts", they usually offer a hot take detailing an opinion that has probably been thought of a million times but just hasn't gotten enough coverage as hoped.

When I say "Oh, I have some thoughts" - I mean, I have some observations about current-day patterns of behaviour towards specific events and seem to be dominating internet and real-life in-person culture and behaviour. It's the same thing - just worded different. Nevertheless, I have some thoughts. Care to read?

Let me begin by contextualising where I'm at: For the last 7 months, I've been navigating my own personal challenge with transitioning into a career or life interest that is completely different in many ways to the arts industry that I was accustomed to. Last year, I worked at a local art gallery in Cape Town, made many acquaintances, got closer to existing friends, and maintained exiting relations and contacts with fellow art workers for the sake of "relationships" - because that was what was demanded and that was the culture of things. Since I left the sphere, I was better able to see the local industry for what it is - a bit shallow but a bit sinister too in the sense that it was hard to determine what was genuine and what was not - or dismantle the superficial facade of evolving the African art scene while selling your sense of integrity (all under the guise of capitalistic gain, opportunistic networking, and a mass of socialite vultures descending on every art fair). But isn't that the real world kids? Indeed; the only hypocritical thing about it was that it pushed the narrative of "changing the white cube" while holding onto the same processes and cultural tendencies that privileged the foreign investor. Or should I say - colonial collector?

Anyway, I want to touch on this transition that I've been navigating: I wanted to make the jump into tech (yeah I know booohh potayto potahhtohhh) but with the perspective of *not only being able to understand and survive skills-wise on an evolutionary level* but to just try to incorporate whatever I learn into something else that I can grow and develop creatively. I want this to be creative and so far - it does feel creative. Perhaps people in IT don't realise how much creativity lies at their fingertips in order to play and experiment. I do think that I feel this way right now because of my background in art// but my life experience on the other hand has taught me that I can't really spread joy without struggle. Here's a quick recap:

Nov-Dec 2025: "Damn shawty, really??" - I was economically pushed out of Cape Town because rent was starting to climb (thank the influx of foreigners on a pedestal) AND my place of work did not match my salary needs (I.e they basically offered me a R1000/ $60 raise only on my already dire and meagre starter salary while I was practically a sales rep, e-sales agent, designer, editor, writer, social media assistant, event assistant, data management, you name it). I was lowkey insulted but kept it to myself because I knew this was IT. My landlord was about to start renovations and I had a few days to let him know whether I'd be staying or moving. I did search for a new place but did not see the value in finding one when I would be faced with the same issue - only delayed by a few months - again. So I packed up 3 years of my life and left back to my hometown. I had a plan though (about my new career direction) so I was not phased then. 👹🧳😪

Jan - Feb: "Girl, GO, GO, GO". I started setting intentions for what I wanted my year to look like but realised that settling in again here was going to take some time; especially since I had no room to practically isolate - as someone who isolates to regulate. My working life as a young adult in my twenties saw me through 2 retrenchments and now THIS - I was emotionally and mentally wrecked actually and needed this time to blend with my family and gauge a way to pick up the pieces for myself. I wanted to get my learners license and of course try for my drivers license again - at age 26 eishhh. Coming back home felt like a kick in the stomach because it was in the way my relatives looked at me - like they knew the circumstances but it felt like shame to have to face them after living my own life and now having to start again with an audience. I diarised a lot but did not unpack my boxes from the move. I started a new course in business systems analytics to get more insight into the type of field I wanted to branch into. I do admit it was a good escape. I also dabbled on Hinge here I guess. Not successful there 🫪🤣🚶🏽‍♀️

March-April: "Sis, you GOT THIS" 🙏🏽🪪 I wrote my learner's license test and passed --- yeeeee --- but on the other hand lmao - I got ghosted by a guy I was talking to from Hinge (fair enough) but it happens. I was feeling the dual energy strongly. March flew by, and I think we had multiple deaths in the family... I visited jozi for a bit but I still felt that these months were particularly heavy. I also completed my BSA course then. 🏆

May-June: "WTF" These were the WTF months for sure because everything started looking peachy until post-first week of May when an old situationship messages me. I was genuinely shocked but felt like a weight had been lifted off me - I was glad to say my peace honestly because not everyone gets that in our generation. I was faced with feelings of confusion/past memories/ and the idea of reparation I guess. But to no avail unfortunately. I had started driving lessons haha and it was the first time I felt like - hey - I CAN do this. I didn't care so much for the emotional world at that point. I just knew I needed to lock in.

July-Present: Let's say this one RULES because I not only bagged my driver's license 👍🏾✅ but I also finally settled on a new course to pursue. After 3 months of running through demo lessons with various mentors, I was so happy to find something that appealed to me. I felt challenged (absolutely) but in the best way. I started remembering the other ways I overcame challenges in my past and decided to simply charge on and keep fighting for my own peace and my own life. I no longer feel the need to please others or build a life based on superficial connections. I keep in touch with my close friends and discovered that I would like more privacy when it comes the social media side of things. Questioning who you let peak into your life is so necessary - if you're not a content creator or influencer of sorts. Especially in a time where everyone feels the need to be seen by the permanent social media gremlins and TikTok algorithm-hacking fairies; content is data of a kind and such data is actually very valuable.

There is one thing I'd like to stress; My experience does not speak for a universal experience and of course, people do go through similar experiences -- it is not to say that they will be the same or we will feel the same way about it. Rather, these are moments that can be reflected on because they do speak to things that are larger than what we can control.

A few societal observances lately:

<>We've been knew about new age spirituality and the rise of spiritual practice as part of a gentrified cultural reset. Yes, indigenous spirituality needs to be protected because that too can be colonised in an instant and mass-marketed to fit the exotic fascination and ideals of Western audiences and privileged elite who are simply looking for "different".

<> Within this, we need to recognise the simultaneous rise of witchcraft - not in the sense of "oh burn the witch" but more so in the sense of what is becoming socially acceptable as opposed to what was previously frowned upon or thought of as "other". Themes of witchcraft are becoming more prevalent in children's media, popular culture, and long-standing among TikTok circles. It is simply receiving more airtime than before and it definitely says something about the societal orbit. There are circles that still look down on witchcraft and question the impact that this would have on religion and so on - but I think there are more demanding matters people should draw attention to (such as the dire state of 'climate' action). We have yet to see widespread recognition of craft practices by men - but do not be surprised if the warlocks stay hidden for reasons they're not ready to admit yet.

<> 2025-2026 is the age of data centre plantation development. I say plantation because we know the cost that this brings and while I know that data will be almost 99% of my career, I'm not sure humanity can survive with more 'plantations'.

<>Not departing too far from spirituality is the sub-genre of true crime criminal profiling and astrology; which is a niche world that does exist but not societally accepted due to astrology itself not being something that most scientifically inclined people tend to acknowledge as a 'real thing'. I must object because so far, most people I've met (locally & observed digitally) do not outwardly disprove elements of it (like zodiac signs, birth charts, and their top 5). Even among men, it seems the norm to know your Big 3 rather than what personality type you have. Is it simply a social tool used by men to get closer to women? Possibly. It is definitely a spiritual method of measurement used by women to assess, analyse, and predict. What does this say? Think about it.

<> In the same breath, I am convinced that there is some correlation between people who - stare at a camera everyday, converse with it and pretend they're talking to a real audience (who exists / but only for later when they can control when the audience recieves their message) - and mental illness. This is not to put down anyone who "talks into the internet" (likewise myself but through text) but surely there must be some dissonance actively being created since social media and vlogging must shape the way we form connection and communicate. It is possible that this raises the "depression and loneliness index" despite the superficial connection to 1000s of followers online or millions of YouTube subscribers. I mean - look at the prevalence of parasocial relationships despite many understanding the idea of physical proximity = connection // how is it that lack of physical proximity and more mental proximity breeds a superficial "connection"? this must mean our physiology is equipped in a way that is self-destructive of course if uncontrolled.

<>SO, Can I get an Interglacial-sized iced coffee yet? No - because its expensive and we're mostly middle-lower class working netizens who view iced coffee as a lil treat and we have to put up with data centers stealing our water while we're in the middle of the interglacial geological period. LOL. The consumer is getting harder to dupe. While consumers love the idea of buying a dupe to cope with the economy, they're also a lot harder to blindside. I sometimes think this is because of access to information and the ability of the consumer to now research exactly what it is that they're buying. I want you to think about this further. You're more aware than you were 5 years ago while shopping local/boutique brands.

<> Awareness occurs at varying degrees: I think its safe to say that more women are speaking out about their struggles simply because they now have more platforms to do so (even if they're heavily censored). We've found a way around censorship (through code words) to share stories that inform other women about the psychological warfare inflicted on women by men in their own households. Themes of narcissistic abuse and manipulation are rising to the surface and are called out everywhere. Is it cool to have a boyfriend? and if so, he better be the up-to-date version? Frankly, I have not met the up-to-date version as it stands. Sorry 😭 But we do need to keep documenting these stories and accounts of human behaviour because AI is destroying and replacing knowledge as I type.

That's all for today 🌄