#fandom burnout

Hi there Before you read this post, Just want to clarify: I wrote it just to get my thoughts out somewhere... Please don't attack me over this. This is just how I've been feeling lately.

I enjoyed every episode, every character. I was here for every live since ep4... I hated the finale, it kinda destroyed every character’s personalities and trauma for me… It didn’t feel like them

I like every Jax interpretation, and I was always happy seeing transfem Jax content, even if it sometimes feels weird to me seeing some people only talk about Jax as transfem and not just... Jax. (No offense to anyone, but I never saw him through any gender. He was just Jax to me.)

Now I can't even see that content the same anymore bc, in my mind, it's been associated with all the harassment and bullying that's been going on... in addition Idk if it's just me, but this is genuinely just how it feels from my point of view (I'm not talking about everyone or trying to offend anyone) but sometimes it feels like, for some fans, the Jax’s gender has become more important than Jax himself… And sometimes it feels like people don't want to accept that he isn't a little angel…

He used to be my favorite character. I loved drawing him and seeing people's interpretations of him, but because of everything that's been happening lately bc of how ep9 felt to me, I can't even bring myself to draw him or approach content about him anymore. It just doesn't feel the same

I enjoyed how this fandom used to see that Gooseworx is an author with flaws like any other human. Now instead, I have the impression that there's just some people that idealize her, wrongly justifying some of her actions, and being racist and mad at Black people as if their complaints weren't fully valid (I can’t hear she’s isn’t lovely anymore, especially when I learned who exactly Gooseworx choose to sang it in tadc)

I enjoyed how many people were open-minded and accepted criticism because it's normal to criticize a show. Nothing is perfect. But now … if you criticize something about the show… you’re treated of queer-phobic and media illiterate

I tried to take it patiently, slowly, in an adult way, checking my mental health often

But everyone has a limit, and the water is spilling from the glass.

I've started to not be able to untangle the fandom from TADC as a show. It was okay until TLA. I saw both independently. Not anymore.

And I've started to hate. Hate. Hate. Hate.

Hate.

I can't see art. I can't see people reacting to stuff. I can't browse fandom content because I end up angry. Furious.

I'm glad it's over for me. I've seen TLA and I have my opinions. I can move on. I've moved on. Like I did when Caine died in 8. I analysed it and then moved on. But there's more of TADC. There's always more. There's more, more, more. Because TADC is the golden goose for Glitch. There will be more. And I've discovered I'm so tired of the fandom. For the good and the bad. Both of them. The good and bad side. I can't take either anymore in a healthy state of mind.

I can only interact with the fandom in extremely sanitised and controlled environments. I'm so tired. I'm so tired. I'm so tired. I'm so tired. I'm so tired.

I love TADC. I love TADC. I love TADC with my whole metaphorical soul. TADC has given me so much. So much. I love TADC. But I hate. Hate at the same time. Not TADC. Everything generated around it fandom-wise. I can't. I tried. I was in the boat for months. Now it's close to a year. And to be honest I was here since the Pilot, just joined it strongly right before 5. I gave everything of myself. Too much. Too much. I can't interact. Everything is a problem. Everything. The good is a problem. The bad is a problem. Everyone has an opinion. Which is good. But I've been in there for too long. Tiring. Too tiring. Too tiring. Too much.

I wish I could enjoy TADC without having to think of 57 fandom reactions at once. Just innocently. Everything is too big. Too much. Too much. And I hate.

I wonder how Gooseworx is able to take all this as the creator. I understand it now. I understand. It's much harder than just ignoring it. Much more complex. It's too much.

seriously. i hope all of you who turned a human being into your personal emotional support object are thrilled, because you fucking won.

you poisoned the music, the comfort, and the simple sincerity of loving an artist without needing to consume him whole. you’ve distorted the sound of his voice until hearing it feels physically abrasive. now, all i can hear behind the music is the static of people who don’t know where admiration ends and obsession begins.

and before anyone starts crying about how “people love differently” if you genuinely need a stranger to survive, if you latch onto him so intensely that your entire identity bleeds into him, that’s not love. it’s an obsession. it’s the kind of suffocating behavior that contaminates a space until nobody else can breathe.

some of you do not know how to love an artist without dragging your fantasies, your projections, and your weird, parasitic dependency into every single corner of him.

and the worst part? you’ve made it normal.

you sexualize every movement and drool over every word. you flatten a human into a character you think you own, and then you have the audacity to call yourselves “real fans” while acting oblivious to how disturbing this atmosphere has become.

fandom is supposed to be about connection n surviving things together not whatever the fuck this is.

congratulations, it worked.

five months. five months of skipping songs i once loved because i can’t hear them without feeling this sick, heavy knot in my chest. five months of feeling like an outsider in something that once was my comfort. five months of mourning an artist who never did anything wrong, because the people surrounding him made his art feel emotionally unbearable.

it hurts because underneath the anger, there is still so much love for the music that carried me through the worst of my life.

i never wanted ownership. i never wanted proximity. i never wanted to “have” him.

i just wanted the art.

but some of you don’t know how to touch something beautiful without suffocating the life out of it.

so, here’s a final, sweet fuck you to the ones who ruined it. i don’t give a damn what you think of me for saying this.

i’m tired. i’m angry. i’m fucking done pretending your devotion isn't poison.

Fandom burnout can stem from many different avenues; a lack of interest in the media itself, exhaustion based upon community mentality or culture, and even sometimes simply from the overconsumption of said media. This can be experienced differently for everyone! Readers might no longer enjoy reading fics or engaging in fandom communities online, writers can experience writers block or an inability to reinvest in beloved characters etc.

Lately I've been experiencing it within the Harry Potter fandom myself, almost 20 years of being involved in the fandom part of HP has led me down many periods of burnout. Here are some of my tips that have helped me become reinvested and excited about the source material again!

1. Take a break.

I know I know, this seems simple but it works! Sometimes you've oversaturated yourself with the same characters, same tropes, same online arguments etc. It's alright to step away from a certain fandom; try something new instead! Read a new book, watch a new show, maybe even finally pull out the fics for a fandom you've been saying you'll get around to.

2. Revisit personal preferences.

Sometimes it can be boring to reread or rewrite the same characters falling in love over and over again. Try a new pairing, maybe write something for a character you absolutely hate. Challenge yourself to create new headcanons and new ways to interact with your favorite characters and with your hated characters. You might be surprised by new feelings and thoughts this can invoke.

3. Curate your experience

We've all experienced toxicity within fandom culture, and have fallen into the trap of harmful herd mentality. It's okay to step away from parts of the community that cause anxiety or sour our enjoyment. Block who you need, find new friends to bounce ideas off, and walk away when the infighting gets to be too much. Fandom culture is constantly evolving and changing and that can be overwhelming, stressful, and lately harmful. It's okay to set boundaries and engage in a way that feels right to you.

4. Try a crossover.

I know crossovers are usually seen as juvenile but the addition of new characters, worlds, and dynamics can spark our creativity! Sometimes a crossover fic can be utterly life changing, and introduce you to a whole new fandom as well!

5. Let go.

Occasionally fandom burnout can mean we've outgrown the fandom and it's source material, and that's okay! Sometimes your interests change and move on. If what it takes to keep investing in your enjoyment and creativity means trying something new that's okay too! You can always come back if you so desire. We are meant to engage with the media critically, and joyfully and sometimes that means leaving things behind.