Alena.

Hi guys i’m alena! welcome to the place i dump every single thought i have!

Current WIPS

Saint Harry with @chaos-bear:

The moment Harry is struck by the killing curse, it’s not death that awaits him, but ascension.

luctus: (Oneshot series)

Various character studies of HOTD characters

Fest works:

noradrenaline.

Other places to find me:

Tiktok: alenablck

AO3: AlenaBlack

My metas:

Peter Pettigrew

Parallels between Ron Weasley and Daemon Targaryen

Two sides of the same coin: Targaryens & Blacks

Parallels between Harry and Tom

Feel free to shoot me any fic related or random questions in my asks!

(This is a secondary account so if i don’t follow back it’s not personal i’m just unable to!)

Santos is experiencing her trauma again via the situation with Langdon; a man in a position of power harms her and suffers no consequences (in her eyes, to be clear). Instead he's allowed the same role and access to her. It doesn't matter that the situation is different or that it was a single shift, to Santos this feels like an ongoing continuation of her trauma. Anger is truly the only thing she has that feels in her control. Anger is a weapon she thrusts out in front of her to block harm. It works but it makes it impossible for her to be objective in these situations; which we see in the case of the abusive father, her jumping to conclusions, and her inherit distrust for certain types of male figures.

With Robby I think it's different. To him, Langdon's betrayal felt personal. He relied on Langdon and you can tell he trusts him, and finding out Langdon wasn't who he thought he was felt like a betrayal. We see Robby is deeply impacted by his choices and feels brought down when his choices aren't necessarily the right ones. He feels like a failure. Langdon stealing drugs from the hospital meant Robby was wrong to place his trust in him, wrong to rely on him (Again, in his eyes) and he doesn't want to confront that feeling. That's why he doesn't want Langdon in his er, it's why he tries to send Mohan home when she breaks down. He wants to ignore people and situations that make him sit with himself and his choice. Avoidance feels like absolution to Robby, and he would rather send his whole team away than allow himself to feel.

And lastly, Langdon. I think in a lot of way, his method of dealing with his addiction and his relationship with the ED feels easier for people. He's apologetic, embarrassed and appears more fragile. But Langdon isn't healthily dealing with the situation either. He's self-soothing, similarly to his drug use. He's apologizing to people who he's been warned need space, and doing this to make himself feel better. He's downplaying the effects of his addiction, lying to others and himself to soothe his own feelings around the situation. He's still early in his recovery, it's fragile and painful. He wants to move past it, downplay it so he can feel absolved of his own shame and regret. This isn't inherently malicious but it's not helping him fully commit to recovery.

All three of them are attempting to deal with the situation to the best of their ability, and all three are falling a bit short. Which is great and honest, because no one navigates messy situations perfectly. They grow and learn, and I think all three of them will eventually grow through the situation.