#false personality

Marion Woodman on the importance of staying rooted in one's deepest truth.

So what’s going to happen, and what ended up confusing me a bit is, the story will constantly pop from past to present. This is how the mystery element stays in tact for most of season 1 I believe. You’ll constantly be wondering about the things that happened in the past that led to the present we’re reading.

Trying to find a good cut off point for the first part of season 1. So this summary is from episode 0  to episode 15 (yeah I know, but they’re called episodes and seasons so don’t judge me!)

Wait, wait, I forgot, the webcomic starts with like the best description of what it’s going to be about.

Honey, that’s an understatement of what’s about to happen to this poor girls life. I’m still wondering which boy was the foretold one. Or maybe it was all. this poor girl has zero luck. As one would suspect,, this was in the past before our main girl’s, Hong Sul, life went to shit. I will just be saying Sul throughout this summary. One week after that she meets….him. Oh yes boys and girls, get introduced to the mystery of this story, the crazy madman whose motive I’ve still yet to decipher, the one and only Yoo Jung. This dude is crazy man, and I swear if it’s the last thing I do, imma find out why!!! Anyway, so Sul goes to this welcome party of college students and what not and he appears. BOOM end prologue! Like wtf! Okay, next episode, episode 1, freaking time skip to Sul saying she wants to take time off from school. What happened in this freaking one year that made this extremely happy, optimistic, hardworking girl want to leave school. Well that’s the mystery that we’re trying to find out in season 1.

Don’t trip guys, we legit get told  the most basic reason of it all, but now the question is, wtf did he do to cause her to feel this way!? Get ready to get confused. After Sul tells her friends she wants to take a leave from school, she finds out Jung isn’t going to get the scholarship she needed so instead, she’s going to get it. why’d I say get ready to get confused? Because this is literally the first of a series of events that just do not add up at all. Do not get me wrong, this is all done EXTREMELY well and keeps the mystery going. Now, Sul wanted to leave the school because of Jung, but in present day, Jung is super freaking nice to her. He buys her dinner and acts super innocent and naive, it’s like really charming, if you’re not constantly questioning wtf he’s up to. I, cannot find anything about him cute because i know he’s secretly batshit crazy. i don’t know how, but I know he is. Sul feels the same way and feels really freaking awkward around him. she has like super senses or something,  I swear man.

We get a montage of flashbacks that once you get further int he story, make so much freaking sense as to why Sul feels the way she does. Flashback to the welcoming party when Sul first met Jung. Her original bad vibe from him came from the way he comes in all friendly, and when she greets him, he gives the most cold response, to the point of pretty much ignoring her. It was like he was basically saying “stop talking to me”. It’s like really rude, especially cause he talks to a bunch of others all normal. Sul does this shot thing with a leaf, which I found was hilarious. Jung probably thought it was low-class or something, idk, he wasn’t favorable about it. He’s such a stick in the mud man.

See!!! Dude he comes off as such a freaking asshole. DON’T YOU DARE LOOK DOWN ON SUL MISTER! She’s got spirit and life and you got a bad attitude and money. Oh I forgot to mention, Jung is rich and everyone generally stays around him because he’ll pay for things and he’s pre kind and cool. He has like an amazing rep and everyone loves him which is why Sul couldn’t tell anyone the real reason she wanted to leave school.  Now for the real reason Sul always has bad vibes about Jung. She heads outside to take a call, picks a cigarette off the ground, then hears Jung on the phone, after he sees her do it, basically call her pathetic . Like wtf is wrong with you, you’re such an asshole. You don’t know anything about this girl and yet you’re like talking shit. Omg! He’s so not anywhere close to what people think of him. That slowly get revealed to us at least. Pack to present day, and Jung is happy and nice. Yup, something ain’t right at all. Please compare

  Alls I’m saying is a lot must have happened in a year for her friends to think he’s actually interested in her when he would blatantly ignore her a year ago.  Sul’s a smart girl though. she’s not falling for this, “I’m suddenly nice, so fall for me act”. She knows she needs to stay away from him because he brings her trouble by simply calling her name.

K some things that seem unimportant that turn important later. Sul moves into an apartment alone closer to the school and she has this weird old man neighbor (not old, but whatever, like 20’s LOL) who’s gay )yes it’s relevant so don’t be a hater) who keeps yelling at her to quiet down. They become friends later, but anyway, that dude is involved in a whole nother subplot. There’s a bunch that wrap up together man.  Sul’s friend from high school end up going to the same college as her so they meet up .Immediately some douche bag falls for her and asks Sul to introduce the two (basically hook them up). He;s such a pleb, like i can’t even. Even though what happens is something I should technically like, the reasons piss me off because kid is such a freaking tool. Sangcheol the tool, that is his name from now on. Sul of course doesn’t want to hook them up because bro is such a  fucking tool! So she avoids him and delays it.

Back to crazy freaking Jung. Him and Sul are in the same media arts class or something and oh my god wtf is he acting so friendly. Sul freaks out, as she should.

  NOOOOO, WHY ON EARTH WOULD SHE FEEL UNCONFORMABLE AROUND YOU!??!?! YOU’RE JUST A BATSHIT INSANE, BIPOLAR MALE WHO NEEDS TO GET HIS LIFE RIGHT. Nothing uncomfortable about that. AMIRIGHT THO!?!?? Being around him causes her unwanted attention…also he’s fucking crazy, you know. Telling her not to feel awkward around him. then maybe, you shouldn’t have been such an asshole. EVER THINK OF THAT?!?! Flashback to the past of what I love to call the “Study Group of Doom Fiasco”. This single incident causes SOOOOOO many freaking problems, I cannot. So Bora (Sul’s bestie) wanted to join a study group led by this chick Juyeon Nam. Let me tell you right now. This ho is like, the worst. okay not the worst but she is just a jealous ho whose life ain’t right, at like all. Apparently Juyeon said Jung would help out with the study group, so a lot of females came to join it. Bora and Sul were the last two accepted. Of course Sul actually didn’t want none of that crap, so she joined a different one. She was invited to the group by a guy named Young-Gon. Now my lovely addicts, remember this name, because this man is truly, I man truly, freaking psychotic. Young-Gon is a flirt so he tried to get Bora to join, but Sul went by herself. Now, that all seems fine and dandy right? LOLNOPEYuuuuuuuuuuup, Jung was actually in this one all along. Best summary of what happens. Silent power struggle between Jung and the guy in charge. Jung continues to ignore Sul and she gets frustrated with that because she never did anything to warrant being ignored. She basically gives us the 411 on Jung. He treats people differently based on basically how he ranks them even though everyone thinks so highly of him. Easy to control, older and high status, or simply…the plague. Poor Sul was the ladder. And then….this happened

It’s all downhill from there.. Yup, she got caught giggling at him, and he did not take too kindly to it. Turns out, Jung has some personality problems…pride is a big one…who knew. He acts pre normal, dropping random hate signals like squeezing her should when he catches her but really the worst was when  Sul falls with papers in her hand and he legit kicks the papers to her. She was so beneath him, it didn’t even warrant him using his hands. It was a major freaking insult. Sul never looked at his face during, but omg we can only guess the look on it. This dude is a total asshole. he’s literally looking down on her, while figuratively looking down on her. WTF!!! Before that’s revealed though, we get another montage of flashbacks that keeps is wondering how Jung is involved in all her misfortune.

Present day, back to hanging out with each other. Ayoung, Sul’s younger friend, is with her when Jung appears. Obvio she falls for him and asks for the hookup. Yay! The tool hasn’t backed down though which is why so many problems get caused. This fucking harlot does not accept the answer no, I swear. Sul told him she had a bf and he was like, GIVE THE HOOKUP THOOOO. Like omg please go away already. We get some info about how Young-Gon was humiliated by Juyeon after failing to woo her LOL. This causes flashbacks about that crazy ho. basically she accused Sul of joining the other group just to get close to Jung (IT WAS LITERALLY THE OPPOSITE). So she starts doing petty things like giving her the wrong printouts for class, which is really rude because Sul’s assignment was totally fucked due to that. This someone creates a bond between Young-Gon and Sul (not really). he just bothers her to hook him up with Bora.

Summary of this freaking webtoon tho. It gets even better though (by that I mean the drama get worst LOL). Do remember this is still the past.  I have not actually confirmed it was Jung’s shady ass behind it but I just assumed it was

Sul’s a cool cat though, She confronts that freaking harlot instead of just taking it. The harlot acts like it was a mistake but Sul doesn’t back down. She blatantly tells her that the study group thing was an accident and that she has zero interest in Jung. Which is beyond true. Of course, the harlot tries to play it off by acting confused, but the point was made. Until  Jung appears and literally makes it worst almost immediately. i swear, he like does all of this crap on purpose, he sits at home just planning how to ruin her life, each and every step along the way.

Present day, Sul and Jung have to do an assignment together. The tool appears to bother Sul about Ayoung . Sul’s so cute, trying so hard, making crap up on the spot. This bro is like, a serious pain. He fat pressures her and then says jk, walks away. Man fuck this guy, like seriously. hen a scene about a watch Jung wears and always shows off. (Semi-important later?). Sul’s friend Euntaek is getting prepped for the yearly basketball game. This causes a flashback to Young gon all over Bora’s jock and Euntaek making him look like a straight up pleb. This is how the bad blood between those two started. Another flashback of Euntaek cockblocking Young-Gon (not like he has a chance anyway). It’s basically just solidifying Euntaek is interested in Bora romantically. Real issue is, Young-Gon is a freaking creep. He would go through Bora’s stuff and what not. He’s a cray man who just gets worst and Euntaek feels bad for not telling Sul. Why? Well they don’t tell us yet. Instead we get another flashback to freaking Juyeon still doing pretty things, like sending Sul the wrong time for classes and shit. Like this girl seriously needs to grow up and get a freaking life.

Dude don’t be an asshole and then try to act all normal. Like legit stop ruining this girl’s life for no reason. I’m telling you, the shit he does is all planned. Of course he’s going to call out to her in front of Juyeon when he NEVER talks to her (this is a past panel). Of course, little miss bitch gets even more upset. Like fuck, you’re an actual hater! Of course this is gonna cause Sul to rage. she knows he’s being weird but she can’t figure out why. She makes the mistake of speaking against him to others though….oh jesus, and that pleb ass tool says she’s mistaken and neds to get to know him better (still in the past). Then the tool tells Jung while causing a scenes when Sul just wanted to avoid Jung. Like really, you fucking tool, get the fuck out of here, no one needs your interference (sorry, about the increased cussing. These characters piss me off with how annoying they are). This, this is where Jung kicks the papers. Enjoy this

See, he’s an actual asshole. Nothing about him can be looked out as cute after this! That’s how episode 15 ends. Since a new character gets introduced in the next episode, I figured this is a good spot. Leave everyone with a bad taste in their mouth LOL.

  Cheese in the Trap – Season 1 | Part 1

Well it’s been a hot minute since I’ve done one of these so I figured it was finally time for me to get cheese in the trap up.

Synopsis Having returned to college after a year long break, Hong Sul, a hard-working over-achiever, inadvertently got on the wrong side of a suspiciously perfect senior named Yoo Jung. From then on, her life took a turn for the worse – and Sul was almost certain it was all Jung’s doing. So why is he suddenly acting so friendly a year later? First Impression As I’m reading the first season (which…

When you are walking alone down the fourth way you will find yourself unable to set up alarm clocks for yourself.

I don't say it's impossible to understand your place, your problems, the need to remember yourself and to not identify, but it becomes very difficult to keep your Aim always up front, even more if you feel in a terrible mood.

I told myself "I won't do play videogames next weekend".

Today I played videogames in abundance.

I admit that the need to stop playing videogames, so at least to get some energy, was something I identified many times ago.

Playing videogames make me overcome my existential sadness. But in the wider scheme of the things it is an act killing both my generation and all my chances to pursue the Aim of the Great Freedom, and is pushing me to merely survive versus getting the gift of becoming someone.

Substantially there is a small voice that still tells me "Surviving is not enough". This really sucks, because after 5x8 hours a week someone does not want to feel more shit because you like to behave like all the sleepers out there who don't care about their mechanicity.

Aggravating fact: I had hints that this stuff works and makes miracles. I attempted several things to keep playing videogames while working, but everything that required me to try acting consciously was killed after a few weeks because the Fourth Way is like a second job and requires you to be patient. Also, unlike saving the princess yet another time, the reward in this life, if walked alone, seems too distant.