#fall break

( First few days of break):

The first 2 days I got to stay at my house. Which just ment being lazy and just doing whatever came to mind at home. I did go clean up a older ladies house which was quite fun besides my jealousy I had for what I didn't. But i really did enjoy that day: I got up and my mom took me to star bucks,I got the only thing I like (my comfort drink) which was a mocha frappe,its pretty basic but I like it. We then went to the house and to be honest the lay out reminded me of one of my old Sim houses, which i liked. The older lady also had what i consider some nic nacks which were really interesting to see.After cleaning the older lady gave me some of her old jewelry ( Which was really pretty and made me really really happy)and my mom and I our money for our work. I honestly thought the lady was a bit crazy because she said her house was fishy when quite frankly it wasn't, their was some stains on the wall which were wiped off and some dust here and there but other than that it was spotless. She was really talkative and seemed to have a really passionate personality.

(The pics just show some of the normal things that occurred the first few days such as my dog and me on the couch, the rest is some of the stuff that occurred that cleaning day).

(The other half of my break, my dad visiting):

Now eventually my dad came down and that was ok, my dad and I have issues so I always sort of tense up whenever around him. Well the first day we hung out with my dad it was awkward mainly because my dad never has a plan when he comes, which is frustrating for my mom and also myself.

He took us to a trampoline park, that was fun. My sister and I stayed in this area where they had 4 big squares that you could bounce on,they had this big blow up thing holding a ball that hung down from it, we both just stood up and pushed the ball towards eachother trying to knock eachother over. We did that for a long bit. I mainly stayed in this ball pit they had, i really just enjoyed being in there and playing around with my sister, We did also go bounce on the regular trampolines but that was kind of boring because we had to be mindful of the little kids for a while,until they left then we got to bounce around and I kept trying to do cartwheels (I cant actually do one). We also tried put put for the first time, i really liked it. I got my ball stuck in one of the objects near the whole, that was pretty funny. I did run into people from my band i did go say hi but we didnt hang out. Because they were with their friends but im not sure because they were holding hands and they were of opsite sex so I assumed they were on a date. But after the trampoline park we actually got a milk shake. I always get a chocolate milk shake, for some reason i actually got really happy when I got one.

(Store day):

The next day was pretty lazy we only went to Sam's to get some food. Which I had fun shopping because I got to goof off by dancing to the store music, reading the books they had presented like it was a script, saying what I or my sister would wear to said event with the kids dresses they had in the cloths aisle. After shopping my dad drove to a dirt road to allow me to practice some more driving, i enjoyed being behind the wheel however i did feel really stressed out. Then after i was done my dad drove my siblings and i to the park for a bit, i enjoyed that i walked around this trail and eventually played with my siblings on this new spiny thing they had there, i liked that spin thing a lot even though it made me feel sick after a while.After that we just went back to my dad's mom's house. Which was also really awkward because my mom and siblings and I used to live there for 3 and half years while my dad was in va. Those years were really terrible not just because of family issues but school and my mental health got really bad at one point. Also my dad's mom we call her meme, she wasnt the best person to live with.

(The milkshake photos goes to the other day from the trampoline park i just accidentally put it in the wrong collage)

(The last day):

Yesterday was our last day there and I really enjoyed yesterday, we hung around the house for a bit before leaving to go skate. Once we left to go skating, the car ride there was pretty fun. Everyone was singing to a cd my dad always has in one of his vehicles ( the blues brothers, im not sure which album). Then when we got there it was fun skating until a bunch of kids came.When I tell you people were everywhere, people were literally everywhere. We had kids going the opposite way, diagonal. It was crazy. I had one kid come diagonal towards me and I jumped over his feet and then THE SAME KID came at me from behind which I obviously didnt see so I fell. I did leave the rink for a bit because I got overstimulated and honestly upset. Because they had about 20 kids with those helpers that kids push/use to balance with and they wont in that sqare they were supposed to be in,and again they were just skating everywhere so I just got overstimulated. I did go back out after a while and some of those kids left which made it more enjoyable. I got back out once my sister decided she wanted a break. My mom decided she wanted to pay a vist and I dont see a problem with that but,my dad gets pissy about it and gets rude towards her and my mom gets frustrated because of it.Then it just gets awkward. Because I then always get put in the middle of it.

(Back story):

I have always been brought into everything such as their arguments and ive been told everything my dad has done and so I know a lot of stuff about their relationship.Which to a point it gets overwhelming because my dad isn't a bad dad but he's a bad person. Ive tried talking to my dad about some of this stuff because it has affected our relationship. Mainly because he doesn't like that I know all his wrong doings. But, whenever I try to express how I feel he doesnt ever let me talk or he goes slient. There was one time I was in his truck and my mom was outside of his truck and we were talking about some of the stuff that was bothering me.He just told me to get out. I left crying because he forced me out, all i simply was doing was talking.Now i have never raised my tone at him or called him anything negative to his face until our last conversation( which was this month like 2 weeks ago). Because he always ask why our relationship is the way it is and I try talking to him about how his actions affect me and also my siblings. Whenever i do thos he doesnt listen, so for once I actually raised my tone and called him a bitch, which cought his attention. I really hated that,by me acting in a way I dont like got him to hear me for once.But it didnt work because he just hung up. I share this because I have always tried to mange both my parents relationship along with my own with both of them, ive always been honest when talking to them privately or around both of them. Well when my mom said something to my dad i didnt say anything to back her up nor did I do it for my dad either,because I have been dealing with this since I was 6 along with trying to keep my siblings out of it and other crap. Well my mom didnt like that. She stromed out and eventually sent me a text later that night which mainly just said, she has always wanted us to have a relationship with our dad ( my siblings and I), that my siblings and I lie whenever talking about our feelings and we make her seem like a lair. Which I cant help if my siblings dont tell my dad the truth on how they feel but I have never lied to him or my mom about how I have ever felt. My mom always says I dont take up for her but I always have, every argument ive been brought into ive always voiced me being on her side not just with my dad but anyone who ever argued with her and only if I knew the full story.

(Back to the skating rink)

It just gets annoying because the night was honestly ruined by it i went to the bathroom and had a panic attack because both my parents were upset at me for not taking either side, which just led to me freaking our which led to my panic attack.We eventually left and lulu had asked if we could go to an old pet store we used to go to all the time.(one of my sisters). My dad said yes, we looked around for a bit they didn't have all the animals they used to but they still had a decent selection. I did talk to the guy who worked for the shop, he was cool him and I had a lot in common and he let me actually hold some of the animals. I got to hold a hamster which i didn't really like because it kept trying to jump out my hands, a rat which i really liked it was just cuddling in my hand and slightly moving around, I also got to hold a snake which i surprisingly liked because I used to have a fear of snakes,which I dont anymore thanks to the guy who talked to me about them and let me hold one. They also had a really cute beta fish, it was white and had really big black eyes, i thought it was cute. After that we went back to our memes and ate dinner and went to sleep.

(The actual last day, today):

The next day we woke up around 7 and got breakfast at waffle house. I really love going to waffle house. Mainly because they have really good chocolate chip waffles but the people who work there are always nice to me and are funny. I did make a story with the condiments while waiting for a waiter. My dad thought my story was funny, It made me feel good when he said it was funny because I never really let him see me act like me. After breakfast he dropped us off at my house and when we walked in my mom was upset because my dad didn't let her know we were being dropped off, on the way home I figured that would have happened so I did text her that we were here which I can understand her frustration because it wasnt known in advanced. Once I got into my house I just went straight to my room to go back to sleep and then to eventually unpack. Then I finally got motivated to do my homework from last week. I did all my homework besides the ixls and thats just because I couldn't figure them out and Google couldn't explain it to me or at least I didn't understand Google. I then took a nap and then practiced my instrument for a bit, I feel pretty confident for my audition coming up i just need better tone for the higher stuff plus I need to get more comfortable with the new fingerings I learned. After a while I just watched TV and eventually got a yes to be able to go to the movies with my friends.i call the friends i went with my freshman babies because there literally all freshman. But we all act the same and the age isn't even a big deal its literally only a year difference. But around 5 ish my mom and I left because she wanted to go browse goodwill and just yap because we haven't talked since she last had me before my dad. So we got to good will and I was telling her some other details that occurred and she told me her own separate details, pretty much her and I just cought up. I did in fact find a pretty cool hat. It made me get really exited because ive been wanting a hat like that forever and I finally found one and the print actually looked cute. After that we got milk shakes and sat in the car (continuing our catch up). Then at 6 something found out I went to the wrong theater so we headed over to the right one, checked in, then I went off to find my friends. I had let my friend addy know that i was there and as im walking to the door thing they had all ran towards me happy and giggling and it actually made me feel really happy. I had never had friends that invited me out none the less actually enjoy my company and it made me feel really happy but also happy sad. We got to our seats and the whole time we were pretty much just laughing and watching the movie. We saw the new wicked movie by the way. I have never been a musical fan but honestly I am now, it was really good. I really enjoyed it and the music they had for the sound effects. (Gosh I love brass). My friends and I even added on to the qoutes we started from a while ago. Here's one,""I am always one well ahead." Addy and I made that up in the car on the way to my house. We have a few other ones we made up during the movie. I actually really enjoyed my last day of break.

To be honest im not to excited for this new week of school but I am excited about the stuff I have to do for marching band this week plus I get to finally see the reminder of my friends so that's always good. Im just mainly nervous academically because of finals coming up and any other test. But we'll see what happens. I hope whoever is reading this actually enjoyed their break if they had one and also has a good week back.