I Give Up (for real this time)
Honestly… that’s where I’m at.
Creating this project has been an incredible experience - joyful, exhausting, transformative. But also, truthfully, a difficult one. I know this might come as a bit of a surprise. Yet I learned something personal today; something that made me question my priorities and my well-being, and realize that maybe I’m simply not made to share parts of myself so openly.
I also want to address something that’s been discussed in a few places online. The use of AI - I know it’s something many people find unacceptable, even deeply upsetting. And that’s valid. Most of the comments about it have been respectful, but ... some were not. And I’d be lying if I said it didn’t get to me.
And the truth is… I don’t have much energy I have left to keep this project alive while facing that kind of backlash. I can take criticism, but I’m not built for big arguments. But please don’t misunderstand me - I’ve also seen every kind message, every bit of encouragement, every person who felt something through this story.
And I want to thank a few people in particular. One playtester - who stood by me from the very first test of Chapter 4, and who has already taken a look at parts of Chapter 5. You know who you are. And another person, who offered to help with fanart - you also know who you are. I won’t name names, because I don’t know if you’d want that, but… thank you. Truly.
At the end of the day, this was always a hobby. Yes, I made a Patreon page. Maybe because I wanted to feel like I belonged to a space I’ve loved for so long. I’ve adored Choice of Games titles for decades. I’m not the youngest anymore, and I’m not a native speaker.
I write everything myself. The only thing I’ve ever used AI for is translation, coding, and a bit of help with phrasing things idiomatically. That’s the truth, and I’ve never hidden it. Maybe some of those translations carried patterns people found too “AI-like,” and I understand why that upset them. It’s fair. But please know this story - all of it - came from me. From my own thoughts, my own heart. Every idea, every scene, every character.
I think the hardest part is admitting that I’m just… not built for this kind of exposure. I’m a people pleaser. I try to see the good in everything (or maybe just want others to see the good in me) and to make everyone happy. But I can see now that, even without meaning to, I angered people. I stepped on toes. Some felt personally offended by how this project came to be, or by the tools I chose to use. And I'm sorry about that. And so I’m pulling the plug.
I’ll delete my Patreon in a few days. I’ve already refunded everyone who subscribed in the last few days (just as I’ve always offered to previous subscribers as well). And I want to be clear - I never wanted to make a real profit from this. Not then, not now, not ever. I have a full-time job, a full life outside of this. I only wanted to create something people could talk about with me while we waited for the next big stories to come out.
So I’ll upload everything I have right now. Chapter 4 is finished. Chapter 5 is almost there - some routes are still missing, and I’m sorry to those who were looking forward to them. The demo will be set to private. You can find the link to the (private) game at the very bottom, in case anyone still wants to read it and see where the story was heading, even if it’s unfinished for now. But I don’t want to draw in new people or promote it any further. This is just for those who already cared enough to get invested.
I hope you’ll still be able to see, through Chapter 4 and most of Chapter 5, where I wanted the story to go and maybe, despite everything, that you can still enjoy it for what it is. I think I’ll keep writing privately, for myself for now, and perhaps one day share it again with those who wish to see where it leads.
I know this probably feels strange - especially after I just announced the update yesterday. But that’s life, isn’t it? Messy. Human. Sometimes you think you can handle the storm until you realize it’s been wearing you down grain by grain.
It’s nerve-racking for someone like me. I honestly thought I could take it. But it turns out I was wrong and that’s on me. I know I’ve disappointed people now, which feels even worse...
And please know, I never once claimed to be an author, or the next great writer, or anything close to that. I never tried to make a living out of this. I only ever wanted to create something I could share.
I want to express my deepest respect to every writer or artist or creator who puts their work out there and faces public judgment. It’s brave beyond words. It’s terrifying, draining, and it makes you vulnerable in ways most people will never see.
I’ve neglected parts of my real life for this project. Pieces of my world outside the screen. And maybe I’m just not very good at keeping “real life” and “online life” apart, no matter how much I’d like to believe otherwise.
So yes, this message probably feels unexpected. But if you’ve read this far - thank you.
Thank you to everyone who supported me. Thank you to everyone who cared enough to read. I hope you don’t feel betrayed. I hope I was honest enough with you.
When you share something with the world, there will always be people who dislike it and others who love it. But I’ve learned that I simply don’t have the tools to cope with the former.
I didn’t know that about myself until now.
So once more - thank you. To this community, to everyone who took part in this journey. Over the next few days, I’ll quietly disappear. At the end of the day, no matter what I decide, I’ll never be able to please everyone - so this time, I have to choose to please myself. God, reading this back it sounds like a self-pity party sprinkled with justifications... But that’s not what I mean. Please don’t take it that way. I’m leaving with something I’ve learned about myself. And I’ve felt wonderful emotions through all of this. I’ve had conversations I’ll remember, spoken with people who cared, and shared pieces of a story that meant something to me. And that, in its own way, is exactly what I’d hoped for.















