Burned outtt
Good morning world
Holy hell I am burnt out.
It’s monday morning at 9:45am and I am still in bed, this is not me!! My internal clock is up at 6:28am and I am up and atem’for the day as a proud morning person.
But today is different. My brain is foggy, my body hurts and I feel blah thinking about the days to come.
After a nice long Canada weekend i’d like to think I’d wake up refreshed and ready for a productive week. It’s not like I went out on a bender and partied it up all night. I am in the bed by 10 club and rarely even drink, so why am I even feeling this way? I went on long summer night walks solo, watched endless videos all about graphic design, created a ton of content for my new company, also got a solid amount of sleep, so what gives?
Well I think I see it right there and that’s the burn out from work of course. As an incredibly creative ambitious person who's recently discovered she has ADHD symptoms (not yet diagnosed but after extensive research) I’ve learned that our brains get hyper focused onwhat we are doing (in my case using my creatively to build my business) that you lose track of everything else that’s going on and then losing touch of your brains signals of when its time to hit the brakes and tap out. Thus leading into overdrive and quickly burn out.
To be honest, it’s incredibly frustrating and discouraging because you feel so good being in this “creative zone” feeling like Im going to take over the world as an entrepreneur/business owner and no one can stop me. But then shortly to feel like you physically can’t get out of bed and feel this overall dread can lead to quite the rollercoaster of emotions.
As a new business owner, I feel like its even more important for me to be aware of these patterns so I can learn about it and learn to develop tools on how to manage it so I can be a successful entrepreneur. That is why, as emotionally draining and taxing this can all be, I will remind myself that it will take time, there will be trial and error and this is just part of the journey.
After more research (of course) I am learning to listen to my body even more and try to gage when I am in that intense “creative zone” and to set a time limit on it so I can get ahead of it. It’s absolutely incredibly hard to turn off so this will take some time but in a perfect world, if I could take breaks through out and try to cut off focus before going into overdrive - I think this will help immensely.
On top of this, my best friend, absolute ride or die (I have 3 friends so the relationship I have with them hit deep) is going through an incredibly traumatic break up after dating for over 10 years. The dude did some god for sacently horrible things behind her back that no one deserves to happen to them. I don’t know if it’s a symptom of ADHD (obvi will have to research that one more, just add it to the list .. *eye roll) or that I am incredibly highly sensitive.. but when I found all this out it really hurt my soul so I feel like I’m sort of grieving this for her too.
She is the most selfless, kind, smart, loyal person I know and for someone to be in her life for 10 years and do that to something just leaves me at a loss of worlds.
So I will take the rest of the day to be kind to myself, to listen to my body, slow down and remember that life is a marathon not a race and to enjoy the ride.
